The Good, the bad, the ugly,... Get the truth.

[Amerkanski]

Hello all. I am new here and read more then a few threads and just stated to shake my head with the information I've seen. In brief, I am a headhunter for various Internet Companies that specializes in finding coders/programmers/system admins in Russia for American Companies. In short, they are the best and work cheap compared to their American counterparts.

Anyway, I have Company and flat in Volgograd Russia and lived there off/on for the last 5 years. I've been all over Russia from St. Pete-Sochi and will answer any questions about Russian women and explain in detail about them. Especially what to do or not and I have no problem being brutally honest.

Some quick answers: Have I ever been married to a Russian women? No, and never would. Do I have a Russian girlfriend. Yes, I have had more then a few. Do I like Russian women? Yes, I like all women.

So ask away and I will be happy to tell you the truth.

[alex330]

Ok, great. Lets start with "why would you not mary a RW?"

We use techs in Romania btw. Eastern Europeans are affordable, intelligent and do great work for us.
I would not trade my guys over there for anything in the world. Great guys.

[alex330]

And the ugly. Lets get it out of the way to start. What is the ugly side of a relaionship to a RW?

[Aloe]

And the ugly. Lets get it out of the way to start. What is the ugly side of a relaionship to a RW?

the ugly part is when some american guy shows up and generalizes away, that out of 70 million women, not a single one would be suitable as his spouse 

[berkough]

Lol, it's responses like Aloe's that keep me intrigued by RW.

[alex330]

the ugly part is when some american guy shows up and generalizes away, that out of 70 million women, not a single one would be suitable as his spouse 

LOL, true. I just meant the OP's personal experience in this regard. I am interested in as much information and peoples experiences as possible. 

[Amerkanski]

Ok, great. Lets start with "why would you not mary a RW?"

We use techs in Romania btw. Eastern Europeans are affordable, intelligent and do great work for us.
I would not trade my guys over there for anything in the world. Great guys.

First, let me throw a disclaimer in: I am speaking  "in general" about Russian women and obviously NOT all.

Our cultures are too different and not compatible because Russian women can be brash and rude often. It would take many years for them to first understand our culture and for you to understand theirs. Russian men are very thick skinned but have no problem smacking a Russian women around and it happens often and not talked about. I've seen this abuse many many times. Being American we are taught early never to hit a women and I've never understood why a man would ever hit a women until I went to Russia. In short, when RW get upset they will call out every character flaw in front of you/others no matter how personal it is. I've also seen this happen many times too.

Russian women have prison mentality and try to find and exploit any mental or emotional weakness and it's a game played every second you are around them. Matter of fact, they are more attracted to strong mental/physical men then they are to intellectuals. In short, the game never stops and if it does they will quickly move onto the next. Why? IMO it's because of the short life expectancy (58) of Russian men and ingrained in RW early they will out live their husbands by 2 decades. This causes a lack of true core bonding with men. Meaning their capacity to love us in a depth we understand will never be there. Is this a bad thing? In Russia no. It's just normal life.

"What is the ugly side of a relationship to a RW?" They are completely addicted to materialistic things and in constant competition with each other. They are obsessed with having something better then others and have no problems trying to acquire it by any means. The positive side to this obsession is also why many of them look beautiful at ages 30 and up.

It is very common for a women to have 2-3 boyfriends (older) to supply her with materialistic things and money for her to look good for her number 1 man. This behavior covers all social casts and age groups up to almost 50.

Ask away I am in the mood for it..

Romanians build the best advertising bots!

[Amerkanski]

the ugly part is when some american guy shows up and generalizes away, that out of 70 million women, not a single one would be suitable as his spouse 

As of yet... 

[kievstar]

The age thing is a little distorted,  For example my wife will have at least 3 granparents to live minimum 85 years old and since 2 are still living probably 3 over 90 years old.  The one grandfather died but that was in war.  With no wars in the future the age will increase. But if you take 2 women at 90 and 1 man at 90 and 1 man at 25.  You do the math and it says women live 90 and men 57.5.  

Need to take the war thing out of calculation - remove the women and men impacted by a loss.  Also remove the men and women who never had children and never married.  The age of men and women get to very high levels.
People can play with numbers to get any results they like.  But best to look at people who were married with children and not impacted by war.  70 plus years age here.

[Amerkanski]

The age thing is a little distorted,  For example my wife will have at least 3 granparents to live minimum 85 years old and since 2 are still living probably 3 over 90 years old.  The one grandfather died but that was in war.  With no wars in the future the age will increase. But if you take 2 women at 90 and 1 man at 90 and 1 man at 25.  You do the math and it says women live 90 and men 57.5.  

Need to take the war thing out of calculation - remove the women and men impacted by a loss.  Also remove the men and women who never had children and never married.  The age of men and women get to very high levels.
People can play with numbers to get any results they like.  But best to look at people who were married with children and not impacted by war.  70 plus years age here.

That's great, but the point is ...RW still think that way.

[kievstar]

My wife does not think that.  You must work for a marriage agency.

[Amerkanski]

My wife does not think that.  You must work for a marriage agency.

Nope I sure don't my goal here to help Americans.

[Lily]

Russian women have prison mentality and try to find and exploit any mental or emotional weakness and it's a game played every second you are around them.

Agree for a number of Russians, unfortunately

  ... Russian women can be brash and rude often. It would take many years for them to first understand our culture and for you to understand theirs. Russian men are very thick skinned but have no problem smacking a Russian women around and it happens often and not talked about. I've seen this abuse many many times. 

agree

They are obsessed with having something better then others and have no problems trying to acquire it by any means. The positive side to this obsession is also why many of them look beautiful at ages 30 and up.

Very much agree. This is a non-stop beauty contest in Russia.

It is very common for a women to have 2-3 boyfriends (older) to supply her with materialistic things and money for her to look good for her number 1 man. This behavior covers all social casts and age groups up to almost 50. 

Here I slightly and respectfully disagree. Dating age for women declines at about 35 yo, so whatever gorgeous is a woman she has zero chances at about 40 yo.

  They are obsessed with having something better then others and have no problems trying to acquire it by any means. 
 

This is true especially in dating field. I witnessed nasty fights of girls for a quality man  A relatively well off man of let's say middle class is a kind of commodity in Russia. I could recall a number of Western men who came for work as expats to Russia, and a majority of them divorced soon after their arrival and got new Russian wives. There is a sort of divorce epidemy among corporate expats in Moscow.

Very interesting post, thank you Amerikanski

I'd have a question about you recruiting Russian IT people. Do you get them to the US, or are they supposed to work for US companies on a distance while still being in Russia?

[groovlstk]

Years ago I posted an excerpt from a book written by two American expats living in Moscow, so while you may not agree w/Amerkanski he's not the first expat to draw these conclusions.

Andy and I met in Lvov, in western Ukraine, the following spring. The woman at the front desk asked us, after we checked in, if we were interested in "brides." She smiled knowingly. A crusty Soviet man in a suit straddled up to our side, squinting intently.

"Of course, we plan on meeting some beautiful brides here," we joked.

"But why go out, when you can have them bought here," the woman said knowingly.

"So you have some brides for us?" we asked.

"Only the best," she said.

"But what if we want to meet some nice girls at a disco or on the street," we suggested. "Can we bring them back?"

"But why do that?" the woman protested. "We'll bring you our girls. It's safer, they won't steal from you or poison your drink.

"No, but we want to meet regular girls, in a disco."

The old Soviet man shook his head, confused, while the woman smiled condescendingly. Her expression said, "There are no 'normal' girls in this part of the world. They're all whores."

[Lily]

The woman at the front desk asked us, after we checked in, if we were interested in "brides." She smiled knowingly. A crusty Soviet man in a suit straddled up to our side, squinting intently.

"Of course, we plan on meeting some beautiful brides here," we joked.

 [/i]

Groovlsrk, this scene happens apparently in a hotel. Hotels in Russia often practice matching prostitutes to their male guests, be they Russians or foreign. The joke were therefore taken seriously.

The old Soviet man shook his head, confused, while the woman smiled condescendingly. Her expression said, "There are no 'normal' girls in this part of the world. They're all whores."[/i]

I bet this old Russian man is unable to get any date in his country 

[UTRO]

First, let me throw a disclaimer in: I am speaking  "in general" about Russian women and obviously NOT all.

One thing I will agree with you Amerkansk, that Yes, you are Generalizing.

[Amerkanski]

I'd have a question about you recruiting Russian IT people. Do you get them to the US, or are they supposed to work for US companies on a distance while still being in Russia?

I have only got one (in five years) get a work visa here and works for Boeing aircraft. The others work from home as system admins for smaller company websites and servers. The salaries on average are from $1000-3000 a month and 40 work week, but technically on call 24/7.

I sure wish someone would ask me "how to" have solid plan/relationship and the correct/safest piliminary steps before you bring a RW to America.

[alex330]

I sure wish someone would ask me "how to" have solid plan/relationship and the correct/safest piliminary steps before you bring a RW to America.

I am asking.

[Amerkanski]

One thing I will agree with you Amerkansk, that Yes, you are Generalizing.

How could you not?  Age, social status, location, kids, not kids,. way too many variables. BUT I will tell you the stright truth and not hide anything..Some might not like it..

[Blues Fairy]

How could you not?  Age, social status, location, kids, not kids,. way too many variables. BUT I will tell you the stright truth and not hide anything..

You admit to generalizing and yet claim to be telling "straight truth"?

And how exactly do you expect your generalizations to be helpful to the audience here? 

[JR]

Agree for a number of Russians, unfortunately

agree

Very much agree. This is a non-stop beauty contest in Russia.

Here I slightly and respectfully disagree. Dating age for women declines at about 35 yo, so whatever gorgeous is a woman she has zero chances at about 40 yo.

After more than ten years of marriage to a Russian woman I have to agree with Lily who is agreeing with the OP.

[Lily]

I have only got one (in five years) get a work visa here and works for Boeing aircraft. The others work from home as system admins for smaller company websites and servers. The salaries on average are from $1000-3000 a month and 40 work week, but technically on call 24/7.
 

Does this work also with Indian, Chinese and other IT pros in various countries?

Have you heard of any other jobs besides IT that would be arranged in a similar way?

[Amerkanski]

I am asking.

Pay now or 10x later:

First, you need to make at least a couple trips to Russia. If you want to get married this is what "I" recommend. Pack up your things in America and move to Russia for a minimum of 2 months and live with each other. Yes, it sounds absolutely crazy, but trust me it's better to pay now then 10x later.

If it's not Moscow or St. Pete it's cheap to live in Russia. Boring yes, but cheap. Anyway, this gives her time to grow with you naturally in her surroundings. You will see and learn her thought process and on the things that brings comfort/stability in her life. It can be from simple TV shows, cooking, or the hourly phone calls with her mother.

Anyway, this builds a solid foundation and tools you both will need before you come to America. Now, if you can't afford to stay two months in Russia I would highly suggest you take her to Turkey (it's cheap) for a week/two to get her out of her Russian/family element and then watch her very carefully. This will be a micro version of what real life is going to be like for the both of you outside of Russia. She will not be able to talk Russian so freely (Russians ignore each other in different countries) and she will see you in a different aspect as you rattle off to others in English. This mini adventure will change the dynamics of your relationship as you problem solve travel things together and it's neutral ground. I can not stress how important this is to get her out of the Russia before you bring her to America.

I guarantee when you get back from Turkey you will be 100% certain if your relationship will work or not.

[Amerkanski]

Does this work also with Indian, Chinese and other IT pros in various countries?

Have you heard of any other jobs besides IT that would be arranged in a similar way?

No I only do IT. Sorry. Nice site BTW

[Amerkanski]

You admit to generalizing and yet claim to be telling "straight truth"?

And how exactly do you expect your generalizations to be helpful to the audience here? 

Again, I am here to help American men understand Russian women.. The good, the bad, the ugly..