Inside the head of a 32 YO Pretty (an 8) Kiev Girl frustrated with Mamba Men.

[Boethius]

I don't think all FSUW dress for men. 


Most WW don't dress for men, although some do.  As Jumper stated, many dress for other women, others for themselves. 

[Ranetka]

Mmmmm...


The first time I read this was in a blog of a prostitute...so consider the source...


I can not post a link but it's easy to find the source  www.prostitutka-ket.livejournal.com entry august the 6th, 2011...


I think things are a little bit more complex than 'buy me a dinner because I look good'.


But yes there are plenty of cheapskates around.


As to who I dress for I think it's mainly for other women, my partner would say I look great even if I wore a bin liner and a bucket on my head :-)

[ChickMagnet]

Well sounds like she's met me already

Seriously though it reminds me a lot of the attitude of the last girl I was with, she used to argue in a similar way. Yes I get that she's pretty and believe me all that stuff that the girl in her statement said does indeed cost - decent cosmetics, nice underwear, good hairdressing salons, etc. I also understand that for many girls on low salaries in Ukraine & FSU it is a struggle to do on their measly wage unless they happen to be in a more lucrative field of employment. IDK I never really squared it with the girl I was with on this one, we again had our opposing standpoints and never really reconciled it. Problem is TMD you can stand around all day in shops and the like with your credit card out for all the good it will do you. Girls such as this i.e the one I had will literally go from one store to another with the guy in tow looking to buy herself this, that and the other as if the guy is automatically responsible to make up for all the time she could not afford this stuff even though they have just met.

The girl in the state seems to suggest at one point that there is a half-way house, 'at least a cheap cafe' that's all very good but I find girls with an attitude shown here are not content with half-way house. Problem is the guy did not necessarily know that the shopping spree was the deal he was lining himself up for - he may have just wanted a girl to get to know and spend time with enjoying each others company and interests and hobbies. I get the distinct impression that girls such as these try to dump the cost of looking beautiful on there date so they are ready for the next one so they don't look shabby for the next one.

Thing is I don't think many guys would mind so much if the girl just turned up in something nice and inexpensive, same with cosmetics, etc. Most just want to see if there is natural chemistry there, none of the rest matters. The girl in the statement allures to the argument that she hits the guys wallet to see if he can provide for her/family. The guy is going to resent pretty quickly a girl that does this and think she is trying to punish him. The girls attitude to guys here looking 'dumb and nerdy' doesn't really strike me as getting off on the right foot with dating guys - we look how we look, some girls will get turned on by how we look others won't or will get turned off even. If she doesn't naturally respect the guy but is sees it as justification for hitting his wallet while hanging out with him its not going to end well.

That guys are going into this a bit tight fisted I don't blame them, its the only way of seeing if a girl has the right attitude towards a guy. Otherwise a guy is wasting much time and money on a girl who just wants to hit his wad to keep herself looking up to spec for the next guy. Is it really my responsibility to do that, hardly its her concern. Sure guys get turned on by a lot of these glam pics girls put up but they don't really expect that, well a few might but I am not one of them. The girl would be best off trying a low but decent looking expense approach as otherwise she is going to get nowhere with that attitude. The girl should try and see it from the guys perspective that he is there to meet someone and enjoy themselves together no spend day after day off, you pay, you pay, you pay...

Part of the problem here I think is cultural difference, the girl who often hasn't traveled out of Ukraine before has no idea of how life is really like in, UK, US, etc. Going off one persons bog standard salary is possible in our countries but if the girl has the attitude of you pay, you pay, you pay for every item and a load of stuff that are non essentials each day it is soon going to become very burdensome, no one apart for the very rich does that in the west else they end up in bankruptcy court very quickly and few want to be there Yet the girl thinks most westerners have a bottomless pit of money but the reality is very few westerners do. Most of us westerners looking abroad are somewhat more wealthier and can offer a decent home and economic stability and some spending out, but not to the extent that many Ukrainian girls like this one seem to envisage. However, try as I might I could not really get through to the girl I was with the situation, it was trying to talk to someone who had no understanding of the way the world is or how much money is worth. I'm not sure if there is any getting through to such a girl but they really need to understand to curtail their spending demands a bit if they are to get anywhere with guys.

Funny thing is this girl is apparently 32 and still in prima dona mode and delusional about western men. So its not just only the twenty somethings.

She did meet you. She stated you were awkward, aloof, and talked so much about things that bored her she didn't
want to be rude and leave. You didn't even know it was the girl above you were talking to. Later, she reported back to the other board about Trenchcoat. I'm a member there too. But folks have to come here to read about you. I'm just helping out the process.

[msmob]

I don't think all FSUW dress for men. 


Most WW don't dress for men, although some do.  As Jumper stated, many dress for other women, others for themselves.

I used to think women dressed to please men when I was VERY young ... a wiser man learns that most women dress to please themselves first - they may be influenced by peer pressure -- esp. if moving to the west

I remember V was pleased with Italian bright red - fur lined high heel boots she bought in Siberia - went with  a red coat she wore - but she quickly stopped wearing them in a little town in the UK as 'someone' - NOT ME - told her she looked like a prostitute !? ( She most certainly didn't)

I recently read about a western guy bemoaning his FSU wife had taking to wearing flat shoes at work - because of the same peer pressure - and she eventually went back to high heels and skirts

Do women dress to please us men? - yes - but let's not kid ourselves ..  they mostly dress how THEY want


.

[BillyB]

, the demand for a solid good man in the FSU is a bit higher, so probably a bit more often dressing to attract.
 

Lots of losers out there so women are competing to attract the few best men out there. I doubt they are dressing up to catch women or just to feel good about themselves. Takes lots of time to put on cosmetics and wearing high heals aren't comfortable.

The first time I read this was in a blog of a prostitute...so consider the source...


I can not post a link but it's easy to find the source  www.prostitutka-ket.livejournal.com entry august the 6th, 2011...

It was written elsewhere before Aug 6, 2011

[Trenchcoat]

She did meet you. She stated you were awkward, aloof, and talked so much about things that bored her she didn't
want to be rude and leave. You didn't even know it was the girl above you were talking to. Later, she reported back to the other board about Trenchcoat. I'm a member there too. But folks have to come here to read about you. I'm just helping out the process.

Then PM me the details of the other board and I shall see.

[Trenchcoat]

Their 'expectations' may be based on what you've alluded to ..

Yay me Mobe has finally agreed with one thing I have said

Yeah I get the impression mostly from the MOB industry that girls get told 'guys want girls looking like models so you need to dress well but don't worry if you can't afford much of it they are loaded so won't mind paying for it all it will be nothing to them'

So the MOB industry thinks most guys want models and most girls want a rich guy and propogate these misbeliefs. Over time it spreads into a given idea for most of the FSU dating scene.

I honestly am not looking for a model, I don't mind if she is but I'm not going to be funding her model image clothe shopping. I want a girl where we are naturally into each other. As long as girl is nicely/smartly dressed I not at all bothered with high fashion labels they mean nothing to me.

I get the impression this misunderstanding over what each other gender is looking for has caused a lot of relationships grief and fallings apart. The guy thinks the girl is a goldigger and not into him only into clothing/what she can get. The girl thinks she has to have this high fashion for the guy to be into her. It basically sets the two up against each other a bit like that prank two mobiles are put together and each caller thinks they've phone the other. Neither realises that the other isn't interested in what they think they are interested in. At least most aren't.

In future when starting out corresponding with a girl I will set this one straight from the get go to avoid any preconceptions the girl may have.

[msmob]

Yay me Mobe has finally agreed with one thing I have said

Trenchcoat.. those who paid attention to their English lessons are now quietly smiling ..
As usual - you cannot even 'get' ( as in realise it was present )  highlighted irony in your native tongue ....

Yeah I get the impression mostly from the MOB industry ..

And where did you pick up that 'term' as applying to dating sites where no agency is involved with the profile that a lady personally chooses to post ? ..

I HATE that term and those using it merely perpetuate the demeaning nature of those making a conscious decision to  broaden their horizons - when seeking a partner from a far away land.

[Trenchcoat]

Trenchcoat.. those who paid attention to their English lessons are now quietly smiling ..
As usual - you cannot even 'get' ( as in realise it was present )  highlighted irony in your native tongue ....

I had a sneaking suspicion but thought on the off chance I have to hit on something you agree with sooner or later.

I wish it were so simple as to mail order me a bride

[Trenchcoat]

Even if translated, the "essence" of what she is saying will be lost. 


This shows a certain layer of the society.   On Manny's forum, I explained the reason FSUW dress up more - it is to attract men - think flower/bee.  She's correct on that front, and thousands of photos of FSUW on date sites aimed at WM proves the point too.

So what is she saying other than that. Does she see the man being the one who should pay? Or is the thrust of quote merely a description of what she sees as going on in the FSU dating world - that men are attracted most to women that dress up - flower/bee. TMD seemed to take rhos quote very much as one displaying attitude from the girl. If this is incorrect and there really is none of that is shows how shockingly of target Google translate can be - imagine the sort of arguments or bad feeling that my result from a skewed translation if this is what we have here.

[BillyB]

imagine the sort of arguments or bad feeling that my result from a skewed translation if this is what we have here.

Google translator has flaws. Intelligent people don't let their emotions get fired up and destroy friendships or relationships due to a bad translation.

[Trenchcoat]

Google translator has flaws. Intelligent people don't let their emotions get fired up and destroy friendships or relationships due to a bad translation.

I would'nt get worked up by one off message particularly if I suspected translation might be an issue. Just saying it would be more smoother on the communication to get a message with the meaning as much intact as possible. A lot of off messages by someone unaware or in the early stages of messaging some one might write of that person unecessarily as a result is my thoughts.

[Boethius]

So what is she saying other than that. Does she see the man being the one who should pay? Or is the thrust of quote merely a description of what she sees as going on in the FSU dating world - that men are attracted most to women that dress up - flower/bee. TMD seemed to take rhos quote very much as one displaying attitude from the girl. If this is incorrect and there really is none of that is shows how shockingly of target Google translate can be - imagine the sort of arguments or bad feeling that my result from a skewed translation if this is what we have here.

It doesn't really matter.


Slavic languages tend to be more nuanced than English.  The whole meaning of a phrase can change, depending on word placement.  Google translate doesn't get that and can't, really.


In this case, the issue is more with understanding the culture.