How to handle this one?

[Boethius]

If she says “I only want love and money doesn’t matter” she is lying.

I disagree, particularly with FSUW, who are used to working and being self sufficient.  Lots of examples on the forum of FSUW who didn't ask for a cent when they divorced their Western husbands.  Most of those who demanded half of their husbands' assets either had children with the husband, or were of dubious character when they married (two former posters, in particular, come to mind).


There is a RW who posts here occasionally who married a man she knew was not well off.  She married him because she loves him, and she went to work shortly after arriving in the West.

[wallm]

Everyone I met asked me if I am capable of providing for the family. I am not talking about being rich. Just financially well enough to not worry. I would think in current economic situation especially, these women would want to be sure the guy can provide for them and protect them if they are going to uproot for themselves and move.

[BillyB]

What I have to offer her? Is an interesting one. While I want a girl that seems genuinely into me I think certain girls are after certain things. Some want personality, some money/lifestyle, some a better country in which to live. Maybe some want intelligence or a man that is able with practical tasks, some may want a muscular man, etc. A girl that wants a man with wealth of course comes up often but I just wonder if what a girl wants is sometimes kills of any chance of getting it together. I mean I'm not sure a girl that wants wealth would sit well with me as I would feel she us not really into me as myself.

The biggest sex organ can attract most women and that is the brain. You need to work on it and make some changes. Some of your thoughts and beliefs are going to keep you single for a long time. It's going to take time to change. Practice makes perfect. Your first post in this thread isn't a step towards change for the better.

[Bounder]

Well it's good to see this site back up & running as I've had a pressing question on my mind for a while now and was wondering forum members thoughts on it.

Basically I'm not really keen on women wearing jeans, shorts, trousers. I really just want the woman to just wear either skirts or dresses, preferably short. Now going for profiles where the girl is wearing skirts/dresses of course makes sense. However often the girl has a mixture often with cover profile in a dress then others often in jeans. This makes it a pain for me as I am not sure how much/likely she is to wear jeans. For me a woman wearing jeans, shorts or trousers is not a turn on for me, quite the opposite. To me jeans, shorts & trousers are mens clothing and even if tight fitting on the female form it doesn't do it for me nearly as much as a short dress/skirt. So what do I do? Do I contact the girl and make my preference clear or do I state in my profile my preference? Do both?

I just wonder how the girl will take this. Is it better to bring this up at the beginning and pass over the girls that find this objectionable or who pass on me as a result? All thoughts most appreciated

You should write in your profile that you only date women who wear tight skirts all the time.

[Trenchcoat]

You should write in your profile that you only date women who wear tight skirts all the time.

Hmmn maybe, I think something on my profile to suggest a preference might be handy just so I get girls somewhat towards my preference even if they don't where skirts/dresses everyday. Good to see you on here Bounder, how are things for you these days?

[Davo]

What you do trench is make sure she stays on the high street, only on warm days and never take her hiking, fishing, out in cold weather, horses riding, camping, walking through a  field, rock climbing, ice skating, skiing, gardening, go kart racing, etc.. etc... etc...

I'm looking for a woman to have an adventure with. good morals, faithfulness, caring nature  and and genuine companionship are my priorities. Sex, arm candy and stunning looks are along way down my list

Having lived many years with a woman you'll find her in jeans, shorts or pants at least 50 % of the time or more. Just be thankful she won't be like half the Aussie chicks, who wear tracksuit pants most of the time, displaying  a muffin top and butt crack  in public : )

[Bounder]

Hmmn maybe, I think something on my profile to suggest a preference might be handy just so I get girls somewhat towards my preference even if they don't where skirts/dresses everyday. Good to see you on here Bounder, how are things for you these days?

I'm in Moscow doing good and well.  If the specifics of how the woman dresses are at the top of your list, you aren't serious about finding a girl for your life.  It's a bizarre hangup man!  I drool when girls where high heels, but more and more girls these days are wearing flats to be comfortable.  What can be done?  Maybe I don't like a mole on a girl's ass.... By the time I find out whether she has one there, a lot more has happened and it's too late.  If I like her, guess I'll be liking the mole on her ass too.)

[Trenchcoat]

Everyone I met asked me if I am capable of providing for the family. I am not talking about being rich. Just financially well enough to not worry. I would think in current economic situation especially, these women would want to be sure the guy can provide for them and protect them if they are going to uproot for themselves and move.

Yes but is being able to provide for a family a quality? Or just another element of wealth. What qualities do you have Wall beyond anything wealth related? I am good with practical DIY skills but would this really float a girls boat. Being wealthy you xould just employ someone else to do the odd jobs. I think wealth unfortunately comes into the equation to some extent when searching for a FSW. If it doesn't then you're likely to need to be good socially instead and if you're not that (I'm not) then what? Muscular - can turn many women on but not necessarily easy to achieve to required degree, Intelligent - if highly intelligent with being overly socially awkward then maybe, most people are decently intelligent these days. I think after wealth and if not socially skilled or muscular then qualities to put to women begin to wain I fear.

[Trenchcoat]

I'm in Moscow doing good and well.  If the specifics of how the woman dresses are at the top of your list, you aren't serious about finding a girl for your life.  It's a bizarre hangup man!  I drool when girls where high heels, but more and more girls these days are wearing flats to be comfortable.  What can be done?  Maybe I don't like a mole on a girl's ass.... By the time I find out whether she has one there, a lot more has happened and it's too late.  If I like her, guess I'll be liking the mole on her ass too.)

That's good to hear Bounder. Well I was really just sounding the subject out. Yes my preference is for girl to wear skirt/drest - deal breaker it is not. I guess it's a bit like girls that like guys to wear suits, smart shirts or fashion brand clothing - a lot of this U would go along with for the girl if she prefered it, it doesn't bother me that much just so long as I knew she liked it. For sure I am serious about finding a wife. I just feel that someone who is more along my wavelength might help for  a compatible choice

[Jumper]

Yes but is being able to provide for a family a quality? Or just another element of wealth. What qualities do you have Wall beyond anything wealth related? I am good with practical DIY skills but would this really float a girls boat. Being wealthy you xould just employ someone else to do the odd jobs. I think wealth unfortunately comes into the equation to some extent when searching for a FSW. If it doesn't then you're likely to need to be good socially instead and if you're not that (I'm not) then what? Muscular - can turn many women on but not necessarily easy to achieve to required degree, Intelligent - if highly intelligent with being overly socially awkward then maybe, most people are decently intelligent these days. I think after wealth and if not socially skilled or muscular then qualities to put to women begin to wain I fear.

I'd say it's a quality, as it can be a self sacrificing trait or willingness to put the family and others above personal wants needs.
A healthy man can always find a way to provide,if he actually wants to.


I've had years with great contracts, and years with no contract.
I've also aged out of given careers, and had to adapt and land on my feet in others.
My wife gave me a key chain last week. It said simply *I believe in you *

No big deal, but TC,  you do realize my wife,like most fsu women ,or women anywhere, wanted a partner in life. She be happy to provide if I'm out of a contract, and just fine with downsizing homes etc if it made more sense to.This is a normal out look for a life partner, its also normal for fsu women.They know how to get their hands dirty and take care of a family in all ways.

If you find them not like that, your search is wrong. You're either fishing with the wrong bait, or have a mentality that turns more grounded women off.
I'm not bashing ,it's an attempt to help.
The one thing this journey should offer as a positive,is some real self analysis. 


If you can simply make a woman laugh and be comfortable around you, you're more than half way there.it's not that hard.

[BillyB]

Yes but is being able to provide for a family a quality?

Doesn't matter if you're super smart, strong, hard working and handsome, if you can't take care of anybody else but yourself, you're worthless to every FSU woman. When an FSU woman moves to another man's country, she will not be able to get into the workforce immediately and will depend on her husband short or long term. For the FSU women who have lots of money and doesn't need support, they are usually smart enough to find a man who has the motivation to work as hard as they did.


 Taking care of a wife or family should be viewed as getting used as if the wife is a gold digger. You will scare away a lot of quality women with that mentality. All you'll have left to choose from is insincere women.

[mhr7]

I was involved with a western Ukrainian woman who refused to wear jeans or shorts. She mostly wore dresses. She was very much a woman and had a very sexy voice. She played piano and sang. She was 34 years old at the time, divorced with a 10 year old daughter. She had a lot of red dresses. Reminds me of the song.

So anything is possible!

Two of my coworkers only wear dresses. Both are deeply religious and conservative and the dresses ain't short.

[Jumper]

That's good to hear Bounder. Well I was really just sounding the subject out. Yes my preference is for girl to wear skirt/drest - deal breaker it is not. I guess it's a bit like girls that like guys to wear suits, smart shirts or fashion brand clothing - a lot of this U would go along with for the girl if she prefered it, it doesn't bother me that much just so long as I knew she liked it. For sure I am serious about finding a wife. I just feel that someone who is more along my wavelength might help for  a compatible choice

No, I wouldn't change my fashion sense to gain a woman's interest.
And unfortunately you'll miss why that trait is of interest to many women. Some may want a lap dog as a husband , most dont.
Some prefer a businessman or professional with a sharp sense of fashion.completely understandable.

So yes your preference *could* be equated to a given woman's interest in a man dressing sharp all the time.
Nothing wrong with that, but my preference is someone who is comfortable with who I am ,which includes clothing style choices etc.
I also find that pretty superficial, so while it's part of initial attraction,if you want a lasting relationship you (and her) hopefully are looking deeper than a mutual interest in fashion.
 
TC, there are a lot of good RM.
There is also some real issues there regarding cultural attitudes towards family roles, women in general, and yes alcoholism isn't some complete myth.
The women looking have many motivations, but the average fsu woman isn't looking for a free ride.
She, as a generality, would be happy with a man who was a good DIY guy
,adored his family and children, took active role in the household taking his share of house chores and raising the children, dint have a drinking or drug problem ,and willing to put his family first to provide a normal life of a roof over your heads, food on the table and opportunity for the children to thrive. Yes your interest in children will play a big role in most any younger woman's mind.not all but most.
Your competition in country is tough, but many are already taken, so the ones you are really competing with you have it easy.incredibly easy.
  Keep in mind the materialistic women that are single,  have a self evident reason they are, so stop thinking they are all like that.they arnt. Neither in my country ,your country, or the FSU.


Readers digest version:
If you have qualities that would make you a good father ,and have a real interest in being one,it's unlikely you'll have trouble gaining women's interest.

[msmob]

Terrible news

Trench found another forum - thinking we had abandoned him..

[ML]

Interesting trousers vs dresses.

I was telling spouse about  this last night when we were walking to an event.

She relayed to me interesting fact about her 70 something Ukrainian mother.

Mother had worn only dresses until her 50s.
Then she began wearing trousers and now virtually never wears dresses.

I said:  Yes, that's because she spends most of her time out in their very extensive garden and orchard.

Spouse replied:  No, she even wears trousers when she goes into town for shopping.  She tells that trousers are just more comfortable. 

Another factoid:  The mother's sister-in-law who is about same age criticizes her for wearing the trousers.  This woman still wears only dresses for garden and everywhere else.

Another factoid:  When my spouse was 11-12 or so, she told her father that she would wear trousers and paint her fingernails.  Father said that if she did he would cut off the trousers and cut off her fingers.  Now, when they talk on Skype, father notices her painted fingernails and comments on how nice they look.

[Trenchcoat]

Terrible news

Trench found another forum - thinking we had abandoned him..

I know it was a terribly distressing time for me 

[Trenchcoat]

Doesn't matter if you're super smart, strong, hard working and handsome, if you can't take care of anybody else but yourself, you're worthless to every FSU woman. When an FSU woman moves to another man's country, she will not be able to get into the workforce immediately and will depend on her husband short or long term. For the FSU women who have lots of money and doesn't need support, they are usually smart enough to find a man who has the motivation to work as hard as they did.


 Taking care of a wife or family should be viewed as getting used as if the wife is a gold digger. You will scare away a lot of quality women with that mentality. All you'll have left to choose from is insincere women.

That's good to hear Billy, I'm quite happy to go with providing for a family, I can do that quality It's the women that just want to use and cut and run I need to avoid but of course would not immediately assume all women are like that. I kind of was starting to wonder a little what the situation is with career woman so it's handy for me you touched on this. Kind of like with career women back home but more able to match their progress in life I think. They may be worth consider in the FSU after all. Many thanks.

[Bounder]

That's good to hear Billy, I'm quite happy to go with providing for a family, I can do that quality It's the women that just want to use and cut and run I need to avoid but of course would not immediately assume all women are like that. I kind of was starting to wonder a little what the situation is with career woman so it's handy for me you touched on this. Kind of like with career women back home but more able to match their progress in life I think. They may be worth consider in the FSU after all. Many thanks.

Trench - a simple advisory for avoiding scam and insincere girls to get to first base.  It's probably 80/20 (dodgy/honest) in Ukraine vs 20/80 in Russia.  This is because Ukraine is a shit country mired in poverty, whereas Russia is different.  It's all proportional and you can definitely find a good girl in Ukraine.  She'll also be much more ready to emigrate.  It's way easier to find a decent girl in Russia,  but she won't be as open to emigrating.

It's economics.  I can only speak about Moscow, which is a pretty rich city and different from elsewhere in Russia.  But the girls here, are beautiful, successful, proud, and generally have never thought about immigration.  If they have, they definitely see it happening on their terms.

Scammers are a dime a dozen, but any average person can spot it.  If you want to play the odds, look to Russia.  The odds of scamming is higher in Ukraine.  Much higher.

[BillyB]

It's probably 80/20 (dodgy/honest) in Ukraine vs 20/80 in Russia.  This is because Ukraine is a shit country mired in poverty, whereas Russia is different.

Russia and Ukraine are tied on the corruption list of nations at 131st place. Corruption happens at all levels from top to bottom. If you lived in Canada or Ethiopia, deep down you are the same person. It's best to judge people at an individual level. There can be some outstanding people in poor countries that stand out. Although they are in a more dire situation than we are, they refuse to sell their bodies, take from or use others to get ahead.

[Trenchcoat]

I tend to agree more with Bounder on this one though I am not sure whether it is economics or the unchecked scamming market that occurred in Ukraine for a lot longer as opposed to Russia. Sure there is an individual element where you can get good or bad girls in either. I think that geography plays a part also. Ukraine compared to Russia is much smaller, the scamming industry/ideas can spread quickly from one area to another. So let's face it you have Kiev, Kherson & Dnepro is the north. Odessa, Nikolaev & Kherson in the south and Lviv in the west (the east Ukraine being a no go of course). There ate of course other places out in the sticks but few girls seem to be looking from them. Russia on the other has lots and lots of cities some quiet far flung and some few foreigners will come to visit. If a foreigner comes there then there is probably little tradition of seeing them as someone to scam. Don't get me wrong I think many Ukraine girls are beautiful and can be nice but many are on the make. I think Bounder is correct that many will emigrate but it's not necessarily for the person but the country which doesn't bode well for the guy I think.

Bounder, when are you going to update us on your trip report? It would be great to hear what you've been up to and learn from your experiences

[treadmilldude]

 
Jumper said:   

""TC, there are a lot of good RM.
There is also some real issues there regarding cultural attitudes towards family roles, women in general, and yes alcoholism isn't some complete myth.
The women looking have many motivations, but the average fsu woman isn't looking for a free ride.
She, as a generality, would be happy with a man who was a good DIY guy
,adored his family and children, took active role in the household taking his share of house chores and raising the children, dint have a drinking or drug problem ,and willing to put his family first to provide a normal life of a roof over your heads, food on the table and opportunity for the children to thrive. Yes your interest in children will play a big role in most any younger woman's mind.not all but most.
Your competition in country is tough, but many are already taken, so the ones you are really competing with you have it easy.incredibly easy.
 

Readers digest version:
If you have qualities that would make you a good father ,and have a real interest in being one,it's unlikely you'll have trouble gaining women's interest.
[/quote]""

Jumper, unfortunately I think Russian Men have some very serious problems associated with them. And these are not small problems, these are major, enormous problems.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_life_expectancy

Russian Men's life expectancy is #127 on the list of Male life expectancy per country. 64.7 Years-old....one has to wonder if Russian Men have ANY pride at all in themselves??     Or do they simply look at themselves in the mirror and just say to themselves "I am a loser and I am going to drink, eat, smoke and not exercise myself to death".

Russian women are very aware of this. So I am quite surprised at how small a percentage of Russian Women are actually willing to marry a Western Man and emigrate to his country.

http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/immigration-moods-russia/     This is for Russia

http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/immigration-moods-ukraine/    This is for Ukraine

Immigration sentiment in Ukraine: Every third Ukrainian wishes to leave
33% of the citizens expressed a desire to leave Ukraine for good if possible and apply for permanent residency in another country, while 56% don’t want to move.

Responses vary significantly depending on the age of those interviewed. Immigration sentiment is especially strong among the youth under 30: 53% in this age group want to leave the country. Those aged 60 and above less often contemplate immigrating (only 11%).

Among Ukrainians in their thirties 48% are ready to leave.
Among respondents in their forties and fifties the share of people wanting to move drops to 37% and 27% respectively.


By the way, very interesting read for those members who were discussing the Kiev housing market some time ago: 

http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/76000-new-apartments-kiev-unsold/               

http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/much-apartments-cost-ukraine/

[ML]

By the way, very interesting read for those members who were discussing the Kiev housing market some time ago: 

http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/76000-new-apartments-kiev-unsold/               

http://blogs.elenasmodels.com/en/much-apartments-cost-ukraine/

I looked at those two websites and called my spouse in to look also.

She said those places ($15,000 - $30,000) are totally unlivable even for normal Ukrainians let alone anyone from the West.
For instance, the kitchens are about as big as my 6 foot long desk and bathroom would be like those in a travel trailer.

So very misleading by those here who claim such as viable alternatives.

[Boethius]

For sure I am serious about finding a wife. I just feel that someone who is more along my wavelength might help for  a compatible choice

If what a woman wears is important in choosing a spouse, you will not have a happy marriage.


From the totality of your posts, I honestly do not believe you will find a woman of quality.

[BillyB]

I looked at those two websites and called my spouse in to look also.

She said those places ($15,000 - $30,000) are totally unlivable even for normal Ukrainians let alone anyone from the West.
For instance, the kitchens are about as big as my 6 foot long desk and bathroom would be like those in a travel trailer.

So very misleading by those here who claim such as viable alternatives.

Elena was primarily talking about new apartments which are better than most old Soviet apartments. The brand new unfinished apartment I bought for 19k in Ivano Frankivsk is in an elite building and the apartment is superior to the old apartment my MIL lives in.


Ukraine is being destabilized by Russia. Ukrainians have little money to spend. Consumer confidence is low. Overbuilding apartments happened and not enough buyers causing developers to sell at a cost to break even. Western currency is strong in Ukraine. There may never be a better time to buy an apartment in our lifetime than now.

[Anotherkiwi]

Elena was primarily talking about new apartments which are better than most old Soviet apartments. The brand new unfinished apartment I bought for 19k in Ivano Frankivsk is in an elite building and the apartment is superior to the old apartment my MIL lives in.


Ukraine is being destabilized by Russia. Ukrainians have little money to spend. Consumer confidence is low. Overbuilding apartments happened and not enough buyers causing developers to sell at a cost to break even. Western currency is strong in Ukraine. There may never be a better time to buy an apartment in our lifetime than now.

Depending on the legal hoops you have to go through.  I thought that various people had posted over the years that foreigners were not allowed to own property in Ukraine, or that there are very severe restrictions?  Isn't that why Wayne's beautiful house in Crimea is in his wife's name (assuming that it hasn't been repossessed by Russian authorities)?

While it may be a great idea, not all of us have Ukrainian wives in whose name the property could be bought if necessary.