Time for some Humor!!

[2tallbill]

[2tallbill]

[Gator]

I suppose this is needed when encountering different cultures.
 
Also, today I went into the handicapped toilet chamber as some man was taking forever at the urinal.  The toilet had a new design, I guess it is a low-volume flush toilet.  Oddly, it had a sign: 
 
Warning: flushing of neighboring toilets may cause water to erupt upwards. 

[Lily]

Christmas is only over the corner!
 
Ever saw a Russian Santa Claus dancing like this?
 
http://tubethe.com/watch/i81ReimFshQ...osto-ogon.html

[Gator]

Christmas is only over the corner!
 
Ever saw a Russian Santa Claus dancing like this?
 
http://tubethe.com/watch/i81ReimFshQ...osto-ogon.html

Yes, at a New Year's party in Russia.   Except that Santa Claus / Father Frost wore pointed toe loafers. 

[Gator]

http://www.youtube.com/embed/Y-jiot0fSvk?rel=0

[Lily]

Translated especially for the RWD 
New topic on a Russian forum: I want to have sex very much. Olga, 30 yo (18+ please).
Andrey, 19 yo: Cutie, jot down my cellphone number. Lots of pleasure and 10 orgasms guaranteed.
Eugeny, 60 yo: Darling, have you tried growing flowers? Gardenias, for example?
Olga: Why?
Eugeny: - You know, that may distract you.
Olga: Hey Eugeny, may be you just fcuk me instead of those gardenias?
Daria, Eugeny’s wife, 55 yo: Olga, you are one dirty biotch! Women like you destroy families and drive men crazy. You should get married and get a child!
Olga: Granny, may be you join Evgeny and I?
Oleg, 40 yo: How about I join the two of you instead of Daria. Afraid that Evgeny won’t last long.
Evgeny: I beg your pardon! In case you don’t know, I used to be a sailing champion!
Andrey: Then sail the hell away from the forum! Don’t you see that the girl needs a young stalion!
Oleg: Hey you stalLion, get your hand out of your pants, otherwise you are making typing mistakes. Olga, welcome to my home, you won’t regret it!
Svetlana, lesbian,35 yo: Hi Olga, there is nothing better than when two women love each other. Men only bring disappointments.
Olga: Hmm, I was thinking about trying it with another woman!
Andrey: You go, girls! You two do it, and I fcuk both of you!
Oleg: You better fcuk the stray dog from the house where I live. The mean creature howls all through the night!
Evgeny: You know guys, Daria and I refuse to take part in this orgy!
Svetlana: Right decision, you better ornate our bed with rose petals!
Evgeny: Just make sure that your mattress is good for it!
Andrey, Yes, make sure it makes no noises. Each time when I bring a girl, my parents awake.
Oleg: I can offer you good imported mattresses for affordable price.
Daria: How about the quality?
Olga: Wait, what damned mattresses? My topic was about getting some sex!
Oleg: I could fcuk you right on the mattress so that you could be convinced about the quality.
Andrey: And whom I am going to fcuk??
Oleg: Well, you can do Svetlana.
Andrey: But she is a lesbo!
Oleg: Look, a lesbo is better than a stray dog anyway )))
Anton, 16 yo: Offer you a real business opportunity online. $ 160 per hour.
Svetlana: Looks like the boy want to make a porn film about us.
Evgeny: I have a better suggestion. Let’s make a BBQ! I am good at making it!
Daria: This is the only thing that you are still good at.
Oleg: Sounds great. Booze is on me!
Andrey: May I bring a girlfriend? Looks like Olga and Svetlana are not very eager…
Evgeny:  How about getting together this Saturday?
Svetlana:  I agree!
Olga: Me, too!
Oleg: I just got a toast – to Olga! We would not be a company without her topic!

[SANDRO43]

Translated especially for the RWD  New topic on a Russian forum: I want to have sex very much.

My dear Lily, I'm getting worried about you : many of your recent posts here seem to indicate that, more or less subconsciously, you're sex-starved . I don't think you should have much worries in that department, considering you're a very attractive woman. Are Canadians so immune to your all-too-evident charms? Maybe you should consider emigrating to a warmer environment .

[Lily]

Sorry for too many Russian curse words in this clip. The dialog of two men is too ordinary to be interesting. The Russian way of driving is remarkable, though 
 

 
"Looks like we are swimming now..Where are you driving at? - To the shore, dammit.."

[ML]

My dear Lily, I'm getting worried about you : many of your recent posts here seem to indicate that, more or less subconsciously, you're sex-starved .

Sandro, it can be just the opposite, especially for women because they are capable of much more pleasure from sex than men.

Sex can be addictive, such that the more you have, the more interest you have in it.  And conversely, a lack of sex can lead to diminished desire for it.

There are neural pathways back and forth from genitals to brain; these can become 'rusted' and 'sluggish' when not energized and utilized regularly.

Of course, everyone knows this.

[Gator]

Lily, as AW say, GO GIRL!

There was nothing sexual about the car driving off the road and plunging into the cold river.   Surely there is a Part 2. 

[Gator]

Christmas jokes anyone?

[ML]

German TV commercial that would not be allowed in USA .... yet, at least; but we are inching toward it.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/4BMUC4Yb4z4?rel=0

[Anotherkiwi]

German TV commercial that would not be allowed in USA .... yet, at least; but we are inching toward it.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/4BMUC4Yb4z4?rel=0

Love it! 

[Gator]

ML,

This ad is a hoot.  A friend sent it to me two days ago.  I though about posting it, however, I had just posted the clip about a woman straddling the head of a bystander (sitter actually) and I feared I would be called out for too many coochie jokes.

I wonder if coffee sales increased. 

[Gator]

This is probably not humorous to some.  Yet with my twisted SOH, I laughed as well as shook my head in dismay.   

 http://nation.foxnews.com/2013/12/18/creepiest-obama-story-yet-just-got-creepier

[Lily]

Anyone got a similar sweater knitted by a RW for Christmas?
 

[Gator]

Over the past year I have forwarded some inappropriate pictures and jokes
to friends who I thought shared the same sense of humor.. and even posted a few here.

Unfortunately I seem to have upset quite a few people who have accused me of being sexist and shallow.   If you were one of these people, please accept my sincerest apologies.

Looking to 2014 onward, I will only post or send e-mail with a cultural or educational
content such as old monuments, nature and other interesting topics.  To initiate my new policy, below is a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris . It is the oldest bridge in Paris   and took 26 years to build. It was completed in 1604.



OH WOW! WHERE DID SHE COME FROM????

[viking]

Bridge? there is a bridge? Oh yeah. Now i see it.

[SANDRO43]

Almost a cul...vert - due to the low ambient temperature .

[Gator]

Almost a cul...vert - due to the low ambient temperature .

I knew this was worth looking up.  I understood vert was "green" but cul threw me as I never learned such French words.    I was thinking green thumb.  Now I know.  Sandro, you are able to pun in different languages - extraordinary. 

The connection to ambient temperature eludes me. 

[SANDRO43]

The connection to ambient temperature eludes me.

A freezing exposed butt can acquire unusual colours .

[SANDRO43]

In the same anatomical vein, I'll relate a VERY old French joke that my father told me:

A man goes to Orly airport (CDG wasn't built yet ) to catch a flight. At the check-in desk he's asked his name, and replies:

- Je m'appelle JELLOQ: JE,  deux L, O, Q

At which the desk attendant replies:

- Mais monsieur, si vous avez deux ailes au cul, puorquoi prendre un avion?
 

[Lily]

 
In Russia, preparations for the Winter Olympics are going on:
 

[Faux Pas]

In Russia, preparations for the Winter Olympics are going on: