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Author Topic: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?  (Read 9370 times)

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Offline YoungBuck

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How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« on: March 04, 2013, 02:22:41 AM »
Occasionally, I have seen a few Russian women who are living in the US, listed on the agency sites. Has anyone tried their luck with them, and what happened? I feel the proximity factor is huge, and since traditional values are learned at youth, then they should be equally as good. Also, most of these women speak fluent English which reading through the forums is a reason why many first-meets actually fail. Communication is key in my opinion.

Offline Lily

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2013, 07:10:23 AM »
Also, most of these women speak fluent English which reading through the forums is a reason why many first-meets actually fail. Communication is key in my opinion.

How come that you believe the fluent English might be a reason why many first meets fail?  :-X
 
I'd tell you something. We RW are taught to respect attention from men. If there is an opportunity, we are inclined to accept his invitation to meet in person, even though from his profile and letters we feel that we don't quite want to meet him. If a man acts or looks outright repulsively, then women politely decline the meeting. The general thinking is something like, okay, 'he is likely would not be something interesting for me, but I think I'd go and see. Heck, what do I got to lose, jist a little time'.
 
I was told that Northern American women will not go to see a man where they feel no potential, moreover, they just won't reply in such cases. A Russian woman however will appreciate and honor his attention, although she may also feel no potential.
 
This would be one reason why people don't proceed over the first meeting.
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Offline vwrw

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2013, 08:08:01 AM »
How do I feel about Russian Women dating in the US?...Well, I am fine with it as long as their behaviors help forming a favorable stereotype about RW in general.   8) :D
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Offline Gator

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2013, 08:16:45 AM »

How come that you believe the fluent English might be a reason why many first meets fail?  :-X

 
He did not express it precisely; I belive he feels the lack of English is the reason for many failures. 

Quote
I'd tell you something. We RW are taught to respect attention from men. If there is an opportunity, we are inclined to accept his invitation to meet in person, even though from his profile and letters we feel that we don't quite want to meet him. If a man acts or looks outright repulsively, then women politely decline the meeting. The general thinking is something like, okay, 'he is likely would not be something interesting for me, but I think I'd go and see. Heck, what do I got to lose, jist a little time'.
 
I was told that Northern American women will not go to see a man where they feel no potential, moreover, they just won't reply in such cases. A Russian woman however will appreciate and honor his attention, although she may also feel no potential.
 


Very interesting, very interesting indeed.
 
 

Offline Lily

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2013, 08:43:53 AM »


Very interesting, very interesting indeed.

It is, and I ask myself why this issue does not come up often on this board. RW do quite a number of things that they feel they should do, not because they want to do it. Or they just want to give a chance to any slight possibility.  Just too shy to offend the man with rejection!
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Offline vwrw

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2013, 09:08:48 AM »
Also, most of these women speak fluent English which reading through the forums is a reason why many first-meets actually fail.


Many first-meets actually fail because either the Rome's or Juliette's real appearance  fails to live up to the expectations that were formed during the correspondence period.


If the Juliette is uglier than it was expected, men usually report that she did not look like her pics.
If the Romeo is uglier than Juliette was expecting, men usually report a lack of chemistry.   
« Last Edit: March 04, 2013, 12:19:07 PM by vwrw »
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Offline vwrw

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2013, 09:31:52 AM »
Also, most of these women speak fluent English which reading through the forums is a reason why many first-meets actually fail.


The strongest evidence that your assumption is incorrect is that fact that almost every "potential" couple communicates via the telephone at least a few times before meeting; therefore,  men usually have some idea of the English level  the woman possesses
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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2013, 09:34:24 AM »
Lily,

You are absolutely correct about the AW.  They think nothing of not responding or even being insulted by a man's attention.  I have been out with several AW from dating sites and none have worked out.  There was one that told me I was the man she would spend the rest of her life with on our first date.  There were many that we would share a few emails and then she would disappear.  There were many that ignored the contact and quite a few that blocked from the first email.  Many also were interested in a free dinner and nothing else.

My best experience was with a Russian woman that moved here from Magnitogorsk (sp) 15 years ago.  I valued her for her honesty and forthrightness.  She is why I joined a website for Russian women.  We were not well suited for each other and we discussed it like adults and moved on.

Offline BillyB

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2013, 10:07:51 AM »
Occasionally, I have seen a few Russian women who are living in the US, listed on the agency sites. Has anyone tried their luck with them, and what happened?


Here's a link to my thread Life Changes 2 and in the first post there is a link to part 1. Both threads talk about dozens of my experience and what happened on dates with RW living in the USA.
 
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11638.0
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Offline ML

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2013, 10:11:09 AM »
The general thinking is something like, okay, 'he is likely would not be something interesting for me, but I think I'd go and see. Heck, what do I got to lose, just a little time'.

But there is another side to this, even an ugly side.

At low end, the women who agree to such meetings are mostly wasting the man's valuable time and his money.  Leads to the idea often voiced here that the women are just interested in a free meal.

At the extreme end, the man is actually on a WOVO.  In this case, while it is true that the woman loses 'just a little time,' the man loses his entire trip.  Happens often, as we read about here.
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Offline Larry1

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2013, 10:36:32 AM »
How do I feel about Russian Women dating in the US?...Well, I am fine with it as long as their behaviors help forming a favorable stereotype about RW in general.   8) :D

Before I began my search for FSUW I went out with several FSUW in the US.  Each of them helped form a favorable impression of FSUW.  Dates with them were enjoyable, like dates used to be here, and not like barely disguised job interviews, which so many first dates with AW had become.  Also, they were all attractive and not overweight.  One of them joked  that her teenage daughter who had grown up in the US ate like an American girl.  Another, originally from Georgia, was one of the most impressive women I've ever dated.

While out with one of them I asked something about Russia, but nothing related to women.  She responded, "Don't tell me YOU'RE going to Russia to find a wife!  Why is it that almost every guy I know is going to Russia to find a wife?"

Of course it involves less expense to date a FSUW in your own country.  But I will point out one significant advantage of going to FSU to find a wife instead of finding a FSUW to marry in the West.  The latter will be in huge demand among guys here.  Your chances of succeeding with her will consequently be less than your chances of succeeding with a girl of similar qualities in FSU.


Offline Lily

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2013, 10:45:03 AM »


At low end, the women who agree to such meetings are mostly wasting the man's valuable time and his money.  Leads to the idea often voiced here that the women are just interested in a free meal.

In case of an AM is going to the FSU, yes. The topic is about local relationships, though. Therefore, there is hardly a considerable waste of time, especially if a first meeting is in a Starbucks and not in an expensive eatery.

While out with one of them I asked something about Russia, but nothing related to women.  She responded, "Don't tell me YOU'RE going to Russia to find a wife!  Why is it that almost every guy I know is going to Russia to find a wife?"

A good answer to this might be, 'The reason would be quite the same as why RM in the 1990s went to Germany for a gently used Mercedes' ;)
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Offline ML

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2013, 11:02:51 AM »
In case of an AM is going to the FSU, yes. The topic is about local relationships, though.

Yes Lily, it appears I did not read the topic heading carefully enough!!
 :( :-[
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Offline Gator

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #13 on: March 04, 2013, 11:12:22 AM »
But I will point out one significant advantage of going to FSU to find a wife instead of finding a FSUW to marry in the West.  The latter will be in huge demand among guys here.  Your chances of succeeding with her will consequently be less than your chances of succeeding with a girl of similar qualities in FSU.

More confidence please.  Only one person can win the "Closest to the Pin" contest.  Why not you?  Anything is possible.

Offline Misha

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #14 on: March 04, 2013, 11:22:54 AM »
Occasionally, I have seen a few Russian women who are living in the US, listed on the agency sites.


I would just find it odd that they are on an agency site instead of a larger site whether lavalife or eharmony or any other such site that would have many more men looking.

Offline Larry1

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #15 on: March 04, 2013, 11:48:51 AM »

I would just find it odd that they are on an agency site instead of a larger site whether lavalife or eharmony or any other such site that would have many more men looking.

Yes, Misha, that surprised me too.  Every one of the FSUW I've seen on the FSUW dating sites who lives here would get far more responses on sites such as Match.com or Plenty of Fish.  It's entirely possible that they are on both local sites and FSUW sites.  I don't think the FSUW sites charge women for membership.

Offline mendeleyev

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #16 on: March 04, 2013, 12:08:07 PM »
I'm in agreement with Lily and Vwrw for the most part on this topic however I believe it is more than a local issue and does extend to overseas travel.

While it would be an over generalization to say that all RW would response the same, my wife calls this general type of thing as "good upbringing" in being polite. Locally that could mean a lady agreeing to meet a man just for getting to know someone new, trying out the local dating scene to see what it is like, filling an otherwise boring Friday evening with a decent guy, etc.

While she may feel the evening not wasted by meeting someone new even if the relationship goes no further than the first date there is a danger of a man having unjustified expectations about a local date. Just because she is local doesn't mean that she is desperate, isn't getting much attention, or can't get dates because of language issues, etc.


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Offline mendeleyev

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #17 on: March 04, 2013, 12:09:49 PM »
Quote
I would just find it odd that they are on an agency site instead of a larger site whether lavalife or eharmony or any other such site that would have many more men looking.

I find that surprising too, Misha. Do you think that they are targeting men who are specifically seeking RW?
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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #18 on: March 04, 2013, 12:15:09 PM »
I have talked to women on POF and Match.  These women are inundated with men, I have had friends tell me that they are routinely sent photo's of naked male body parts.  These pictures are of course sent with requests to have private pictures sent back.

Maybe I am giving too much credit to men searching for an FSUW woman, but I am betting these men are more gentlemanly in their search.  I noted a few of them on Elena's and never really thought too much about why they weren't on match or POF.  I figured they were looking for men that understood proper manners.

Offline Misha

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #19 on: March 04, 2013, 12:16:22 PM »
I find that surprising too, Misha. Do you think that they are targeting men who are specifically seeking RW?


Yes, but the question would be why, and I can't really provide an answer.

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #20 on: March 04, 2013, 12:19:35 PM »
Read former member Vasilissa's comments about being on POF.   She was called a b@tch by some guy because she didn't respond to him as quickly as he deemed necessary.  Her stories seem to conform to these, relayed in old POF forum posts -
 
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1741689.aspx
 
I know two women who met their husbands on POF.  But they were ruthless in ignoring men in whom they had no interest.  Another over 40 woman I know was on match.com.  She said she met two normal men in a year, and went on plenty of dates.  She even dated a decade younger Russian guy for a few months, but I think his er, appetites, wore her out.  She also said that most men lie about their age.
 
The women I know who have been on dating sites have had the experiences Pkeel relays.
« Last Edit: March 04, 2013, 12:21:45 PM by Boethius »
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Offline Misha

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #21 on: March 04, 2013, 12:24:32 PM »
I have talked to women on POF and Match.  These women are inundated with men, I have had friends tell me that they are routinely sent photo's of naked male body parts.  These pictures are of course sent with requests to have private pictures sent back.


Perhaps, but all internet dating is about filtering, triage and sifting through as many candidates as possible to find potentially suitable matches. You have to put time and effort into it to be successful, and this applies to both men and women.

Offline vwrw

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #22 on: March 04, 2013, 12:28:47 PM »

Yes, but the question would be why, and I can't really provide an answer.


The answer is simple...despite all the dirt that some members of this forum throw at men who look for RW, there are good men on the sites devoted to introduce RW to foreign men. At least, those RW think so.
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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #23 on: March 04, 2013, 12:48:15 PM »

Here's a link to my thread Life Changes 2 and in the first post there is a link to part 1. Both threads talk about dozens of my experience and what happened on dates with RW living in the USA.
 
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11638.0

Caveat: Both threads, in its entirety, should be how NOT to do it.
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Offline vwrw

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #24 on: March 04, 2013, 01:24:33 PM »
I have not dated RW living here and probably should not speculated about them. However, I feel like I want to do it so here it goes.

First, it is important to understand what sort of individuals make up RW living here. I suppose they are:

1. Divorcees who come here with good faith to love their first trial until death makes them apart.

2. Divorcees who were brought here by so called "mules"

3. RW who arrived here as teen daughters of the Russian wives

4. "Self-delivered" RW who come here on the student or work visas.

Now, let's analyze each subgroup.

Group #1- they might be nice women but the recently ruined hopes in combination with a huge work overload may render them emotionally wrenched. A man would have to be very caring, supportive,  and patient  to earn trust of these women. However, the end result may be worthy of all the effort put in.

Be aware of the group #2

Group # 3 will have as long list of requirements that a promising candidate must possess as the  young and good looking Americans have. If you cannot get the AW, do not expect to get these RW.   

And last group # 4 must be full of gems. It takes a lot of courage, some smarts, persistence and pro-activity to accomplish what they have done. They must make good life partners.   

« Last Edit: March 04, 2013, 01:28:54 PM by vwrw »
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Offline Misha

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #25 on: March 04, 2013, 01:37:49 PM »

The answer is simple...despite all the dirt that some members of this forum throw at men who look for RW, there are good men on the sites devoted to introduce RW to foreign men. At least, those RW think so.


I would be extremely suspicious, however, if she was looking only on agency sites and ignoring other options for finding potential dates/suitors...

Offline Larry1

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #26 on: March 04, 2013, 02:28:27 PM »
vwrw,

Excellent analysis.  It's interesting that you know of the long list of requirements (Group 3).  I've heard it called "the 467 bullet point list". :)

Offline OmegaSupreme

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #27 on: March 04, 2013, 02:33:06 PM »
I'm actually an old hat at dating FSUWs who lived in the US. I've dated three of them, and they all had different stories. I'll break them down from newest to oldest:


1. My most recent experience was with a Polish-Ukrainian girl named "V" living in AZ. Her mother was Polish, but she was born in the USSR and currently has Ukrainian citizenship. Her father was an American with Russian Jewish heritage who met her mother while he was a merchant marine. She was fluent in English, Russian, Ukrainian, and Polish, so there was never a communication issue with her. Or at least so I thought. She had some good qualities that I liked (caring and loyal), but her bad traits waaaaay outweighed her good ones. She was a headcase, was insanely jealous of the silliest things, and also tried poking her nose into my family's business. That relationship didn't go very far past the casual dating stage.


2. Second most recent was with a Russian Jewish girl named "E" living in AZ. She was born in St. Petersburg, but her family moved to the US shortly after the fall of the USSR. She is fluent in English, Spanish, and Russian. Again, that relationship didn't go very far past the casual dating stage, due to tentativeness on both of our parts. There weren't any huge personality flaws that ended it, but just simple logistics. She wanted to move to Texas, where she is now, and I wanted to try my hand at living somewhere in the FSU, where I am now. We still talk and are on good terms. If we're both geographically closer to each other someday, and both still single, I wouldn't be against giving it another go.


3. This one isn't technically a true FSUW. She was a Ukrainian-American woman named "A", living in PA. She was born and raised in the US, but both of her parents came from Western Ukraine (Lviv, to be exact). She was fluent in English and Ukrainian. That was by far the longest relationship of the three, with by far the worst ending. She was raised with the typical FSUW traits that we Westerners tend to salivate over (takes care of house and home while the man wins the bread, etc.). However, she had more than a few AW traits that we all tend to hate as well (entitlement issues, among other things). To say she was a headcase would be a massive understatement. I don't want to go into any further particulars on that relationship, but let's just say that my overall experience with her was NOT positive.


Those are just my experiences. Take them for what they're worth.

Offline BillyB

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #28 on: March 04, 2013, 06:23:10 PM »

Maybe I am giving too much credit to men searching for an FSUW woman, but I am betting these men are more gentlemanly in their search.



I agree with you. I've been accused of illegally searching for RW for sexual purposes. Those people have no clue you can't catch a quality marriage minded RW with trash talk.


If any of you reading out there are sending trashy emails with the lady you intend to marry, make note that your correspondence will be read by a consular officer and the green card interviewer.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline TheTraveler

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #29 on: March 04, 2013, 06:30:14 PM »
12+ years ago... back before i met my dhrw, a russian girl living in washington state (or maybe it was oregon?) came across my website, 'ya ishu ruskaya boginya', and she started calling and emailing.  she was a lot of fun to talk with one the phone.  she spoke good english, too.

one strange fact... she would never send a photo in her emails.  it might have been a pride thing?... didn't want to be judged like a piece of meat in the grocery store?

oh, i also remember she was overly inquisitive about other girls i was writing to in russia.  basically, she was pretty jealous (not that she shouldn't have been).

if she hadn't been so coy about the photo thing, i'm sure i would have traveled to meet her.

Offline tfcrew

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #30 on: March 07, 2013, 01:52:53 PM »
Occasionally, I have seen a few Russian women who are living in the US ...

Curious...but [city?] where is it that you 'see' this?
Usually there are Americans who are children of Russian families.
~There is no one more blind than those who refuse to see and none more deaf as those who will not listen~
~Think about the intelligence of the average person and then realize that half of the people are even more stupid than that~

Offline cc3

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #31 on: March 07, 2013, 02:33:04 PM »
Curious...but [city?] where is it that you 'see' this?
Usually there are Americans who are children of Russian families.

The Russian expat community in the Denver area alone is estimated to be 50,000+....dated a lady from Nizhny Novgorod via St. Petersburg who has resided in Denver more than 14 years...until I found my true FSUW in Luhans'k.

Offline Anechka

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #32 on: March 07, 2013, 03:14:35 PM »
Quote
She was raised with the typical FSUW traits that we Westerners tend to salivate over (takes care of house and home while the man wins the bread, etc.)

Do you want to tell me that every AW wants to work instead of raising her children?

Btw, I would have to stay at home for some time, have no clue how I'm going to survive that...  :wallbash:
I'm used to work, however, I think that "man wins the bread" is true if you plan kids...

Offline YoungBuck

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #33 on: March 07, 2013, 04:02:06 PM »
Curious...but [city?] where is it that you 'see' this?
Usually there are Americans who are children of Russian families.

I live in Los Angeles. I also lived in NJ near NYC.

Offline cc3

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Re: How do you feel about Russian Women dating in the US?
« Reply #34 on: March 07, 2013, 10:34:29 PM »
Occasionally, I have seen a few Russian women who are living in the US, listed on the agency sites. Has anyone tried their luck with them, and what happened? I feel the proximity factor is huge, and since traditional values are learned at youth, then they should be equally as good. Also, most of these women speak fluent English which reading through the forums is a reason why many first-meets actually fail. Communication is key in my opinion.

By the way, YB, harking back to your original observation about English fluency, my RW dating partner in the US, with 14 years residency and American citizenship, speaks English more poorly than my UW fiancee, who is only in her second year of university level English courses. The RW was totally apathetic toward improving her English and has an RW university student daughter at home, who speaks English without an accent, but they only converse in Russian at home. My UW fiancee is intrigued by English and desires to study it at the highest levels available at her university.

It's the individual, not her location. Proximity, at least for me, was not a huge factor.

 

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