How do Russian Men typically treat their women?

[msmob]

You call me selfish, I'd call you a chump that has let women use him.

'Used' ?  - I had children by non-FSU W#1 .. I chose to leave her ..  my responsibilities didn't end.. 

Look at the facts. Despite your superior generosity you still have two failed marriages.

Wife #2 (FSUW) left me  - she signed a separation agreement that was fair to both parties ..You seem to be what FSU folk would refer to as a 'Greedy man' 

People are more than willing to use their spouses that goes for men and women, but women don't respect men for being "overly generous" to the point of being used.

Yup .. you really haven't got a clue about FSUW..

Many Women probably see it as weakness. Women respect a man that exercises control and power in the right ways.

I get it .. you really ARE a control freak ..

Every marriage requires a lot of work. You by not having these women sign pre-nups give them an economically easy way out when things get tough.

Pre-nups - to me- are saying - "you know when I made my marriage wows .. that was all bollox .."

That might or might not have something to do with you having 2 failed marriages.

Nothing at all ..

If however a woman knows that leaving you puts them in a financial bind they might be much more inclined to put more effort into working things out with you

I'm quite sure both my former partners did not have this in mind, when marrying me..  Certainly, 'rejection' in the case of #1 was a motivation for 'revenge' - but Family Courts in the UK -at least - have a non fault policy and are pragmatic about settlements - esp. when it involve having kids.

or at least learning to ignore your verbal attacks, criticism & constant judgment. (I assume you treat your spouses similarly to how you treat strangers on here). As the saying goes, date with your eyes wide open but go through marriage with your eyes half shut.

 When I posted that you weren't cut out for this adventure - I was being sincere ..

Call me selfish

I think you got it

I have two goals. 1. I do not want to be one of those men that has a new marriage every 2-5 years and

I've yet to meet the person who seeks to fail at marriage

2. I don't want to be one of the many men I see working past the age of 70 because of several expensive divorces.

As you are risk adverse .. do not get married..

I have an A-type personality, it doesn't make me selfish, and there are plenty of women that find it attractive.

Carry on serial dating - it's for you ..

[LiveFromUkraine]

Carry on serial dating - it's for you ..

a form of monogamy characterized by several successive, short-term marriages over the course of a lifetime. Expand. Also called serial marriage. Origin of serialmonogamy Expand.

Serial marriage | Define Serial marriage at Dictionary.com


www.dictionary.com/browse/serial--marriage[/color][/size]

[msmob]

Yes of course a gentle slap on the face or smack on the bum should put her in her place, shear brutality just totally un-manly would never condone that.

Due to my spending time responding to Brass' latest '' I know Moby's life.. better than Moby" rant .. I let this post go - until now

I have been accused of DV to my first wife ...  AFTER it was clear that I wasn't coming back from 6 months separation and no charge resulted on investigation.. not through 'lack of evidence' - there was NO evidence. The Police and Shrinks were involved as we had young kids...  There's something for Brass to get his teeth into

There can't be an excuse for slapping someone in the face and a spank should be something that is playful - I know all about reasonable force - as I was accused of causing actual bodily harm when my ex-wife then b/f tried to head butt me and broke his nose on my head..


The fact that no-one has jumped on this utter bollox - surely demonstrated that Brass' LFU and I are boring readers

I don't wish for Brass' issues with me to be 'hidden ' - I just think discussing DV is a serious subject and it is a little scary that no-one responded until, now

Can it be you all agree with the likes of Trenchcoat?

[msmob]

Well news report out today on Russia now re-allowing the commencement of beatings to their woman:

Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-38794677

Now THAT is a headline that belongs in bad news for Russia ..

[Boethius]

There can't be an excuse for slapping someone in the face and a spank should be something that is playful.

Can it be you all agree with the likes of Trenchcoat?

Well, you know where I stand on that post.  It was shocking to me.  More shocking was how no one responded until your post.

Hitting your spouse, regardless of gender, is always wrong.  Unless there is mutual consent as part of foreplay.

[Boethius]

I think Bo was talking about Soviet Union life and times. I doubt that an FSUW is going
to try to control your finances. My wife never has.

I was just providing my perspective on the differences in relationships.  My post was never about control or even about money.  But, wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

[LiveFromUkraine]

FWIW, I agree with the sentiment moby expressed, and which you criticized.  Have at me and my marriage.   

    There are plenty of marriages that handle the finances exactly how redking wanted.   I happen to agree with GQ in this instance.  There is absolutely no reason he has to hand over control of his finances in order to be successful in marriage.  Him not wanting to do so does not make him any less marriage material than our 3 times a charm Moby.


Him being honest with what he wants gives him a much better opportunity to finding a woman who is more compatible.

If the posts of the poster to whom moby was referring are an accurate reflection of his mentality, my prediction is he will not have a long term marriage to an FSUW.  Finding a woman to marry, particularly in Ukraine, is like shooting fish in a barrel.  Remaining married for decades is a different matter.

That is an entirely different matter to what started our Mobesque marriage discussion.

[Boethius]

    There are plenty of marriages that handle the finances exactly how redking wanted.   I happen to agree with GQ in this instance.  There is absolutely no reason he has to hand over control of his finances in order to be successful in marriage.  Him not wanting to do so does not make him any less marriage material than our 3 times a charm Moby.

Him being honest with what he wants gives him a much better opportunity to finding a woman who is more compatible.

My post is not about his attitude toward finances. 

That is an entirely different manner to what started our Mobesque marriage discussion.

Irrelevant to my point.

[LiveFromUkraine]

My post is not about his attitude toward finances. 

That is what we were discussing. 

[Boethius]

That is what we were discussing.

I disagree.  redking took one line from my post and developed a theme around it.  My post was never about finances.  It was in response to alex's assertion that UM just placidly sit by and let their wives buy their clothing, food, etc., i.e., they are whipped.


I don't think moby's riposte to him was about who controls finances either.

[GQBlues]

Is this the post you folks are referring to?

Yes of course a gentle slap on the face or smack on the bum should put her in her place, shear brutality just totally un-manly would never condone that.

Hhhmm...here I thought the poster was just being sarcastic towards the new *law* in discussion.

A bit cryptic to me to make any absolution that Trench was actually being a douchebag.

Trenchcoat  Bad boy!

[Boethius]

Part of the reason for the new law is because (a) domestic abuse charges are being laid for "advantage", (b)  most domestic abuse occurs in the context of alcohol abuse, and both are eating up a lot of police time. 

[GQBlues]

Part of the reason for the new law is because (a) domestic abuse charges are being laid for "advantage", (b)  most domestic abuse occurs in the context of alcohol abuse, and both are eating up a lot of police time.

I asked my wife about this the other day, she was surprised there actually was a 'law' in Russia to begin with. Then she just shrugged her shoulders with resignation and said, 'Russia'...

[GQBlues]

...I don't think moby's riposte to him was about who controls finances either.

Boethius, yes it was...

[Boethius]

Boethius, yes it was...

I took it as a comment about how to view a partner, not about who controls finances.

[msmob]

Hhhmm...here I thought the poster was just being sarcastic towards the new *law* in discussion.

A bit cryptic to me to make any absolution that Trench was actually being a douchebag.

Trenchcoat  Bad boy!

GQBlues

on reflection, it might be that you picked up on TC's sarcastic note

TC - if that is the case - I humbly apologise


The new Russian law - if signed off is 'unfortunate'

[2tallbill]

Well, you know where I stand on that post.  It was shocking to me.  More shocking was how no one responded until your post.

Hitting your spouse, regardless of gender, is always wrong.  Unless there is mutual consent as part of foreplay.

There are very few reasons to hit your spouse
1. If her dress catches on fire, you can take her to the ground,
and roll her around until the fire is out.
2. If she is drowning and in a panic, you can/should smack her
and then swim her to safety.
3. If she's been a bad girl during sexy time (mutual consent required)
4. If your soup is cold.................... wait, that's not an approved reason 

[GQBlues]

If we are referring to RK, I was inferring that his attitude to finances and some other of his utterances did not make him a suitable candidate for this venture ...

...and you are not only being presumptuous, but you are also wrong. I don't agree in pre-nups, or controlling money within a marriage, but I also understand and are aware there are those that do and are successful in their respective marriages.

That's what RK took an exception from you. Telling anyone they can't succeed mainly because of YOUR personal conviction, is akin to telling anyone their success lies solely in renting apartments over staying in hotels.

[msmob]

...and you are not only being presumptuous, but you are also wrong. I don't agree in pre-nups, or controlling money within a marriage, but I also understand and are aware there are those that do and are successful in their respective marriages.

That's what RK took an exception from you. Telling anyone they can't succeed mainly because of YOUR personal conviction, is akin to telling anyone their success lies solely in renting apartments over staying in hotels.

GQB

Perhaps you have missed it - so I'll forgive your presumption - but it was not RK's attitude to keeping his finances totally under his control that caused my post that got him 'upset' ..

Gosh, I just checked - I did make that clear, before.

The fact that a lady member also noted that it was not the only 'conviction' that he had revealed and agreed with me... well .. you know..

[GQBlues]

GQB

Perhaps you have missed it - so I'll forgive your presumption - but it was not RK's attitude to keeping his finances totally under his control that caused my post that got him 'upset' ..

Gosh, I just checked - I did make that clear, before.

The fact that a lady member also noted that it was not the only 'conviction' that he had revealed and agreed with me... well .. you know..

The thread is slowly getting sliced up, but hopefully this will shine a little light with you.

Note Reply Nos 25, 26, 27 & 32.

[msmob]

The thread is slowly getting sliced up, but hopefully this will shine a little light with you.

Note Reply Nos 25, 26, 27 & 32.

I think this one sums it up best

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=21478.msg455481#msg455481

Lest you might forget - it's getting sliced up because some members - suggested that a failed marriage meant my advice / opinion wasn't valid

The only lady involved - with FSU roots observed the same ...

[SANDRO43]

There are very few reasons to hit your spouse

But the wise Chinese say - now maybe some Russians, too:

"Beat your woman every day.You may not know why, but she does."

[LiveFromUkraine]

But the wise Chinese say - now maybe some Russians, too:

"Beat your woman every day.You may not know why, but she does."

haha  You might have scared some newbies with that proverb.   

[mies]

So I've heard that some don't treat them too well and at the worst end the women endure brutal treatment possibly in connection with the man drinking. I was wondering though how Russian men commonly treat their women in a relationship? So any experiences here would be of interest.

you can google and find online statistics for domestic abuse in Russia, and another statistics - convictions of women in Russia, who murdered their abusive husbands after they couldn't bear the abuse any longer, or incidentally during self-defense attempt.
See what % that is of total country population, and you'll get a general idea.

[Trenchcoat]

Ok, got some authoritative reading from the Sun her on the recent law change over domestic violence in Russia and some statistics on the subject:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2814169/russia-domestic-violence-legal/