What to send

[phantom]

I got a letter from one of the ladies I'm writing to, after I thought she was done writing me.  It appears that she had a tragedy in her family.  (She didn't specify what) she's really upset about it.  What would be the best thing to send.  What kind of flowers, and anything else?

[Sohkay]

Ahhh...nothing. You are not in communication with her...you thought it was over. She's not telling you what it is. I would say you're jumping the gun on any presents right now.

How about just calling her and finding out what is going on. That would be a logical next step.

[phantom]

I'm still in communication with her.  It was a few days since she wrote, usually she writes me back the next day.  It sounded like something serious.  So, I was just wondering.  But, I did plan to call her and find out.

[Serebro]

I would wait for a week and then call.

[Lily]

I wouldn't consider sending flowers, at least.

[Jazzyclassy]

I would just support her with being a nice listener and a good friend

I personally sent things only to my friends I chatted for years my very very good friends I am in touch still with them , some I never seen in reality but we talk  every now and then , but you should not rush sending things when you barely know the person

[ScottinCrimea]

Good advice from the RW here.  That's why I love having them here to contribute.  Sometimes we in the US are too quick to want to send "something" to help them feel better.  What might mean more to her is a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on.

[phantom]

Okay, thanks I'll give her support, which is pretty much all she asked for.  I just though maybe the flowers.  But, I'll just call her and talk to her and listen.

[Kuna]

Phantom,

I agree with our RW members here...  I feel that it's important to let people close to us know we care when they are going through tough times but keep in mind that her head might be swimming with all sorts of thoughts if she is going through a stressful time.

If you call her make it a short call... and  be sure to mention very early in the call that you were concerned and you just wanted to make a quick call to let her know you're thinking of her.

I think that just letting someone know you care is enough... and avoiding a long call is probably better.

Kuna

[phantom]

Thanks for the advice on this one.  I called and talked to hear, listening and talking with her, kept in short and let her know I was thinking of her.