It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff  (Read 22612 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« on: April 14, 2018, 11:39:26 AM »
my single brothers...

early neolithic farmers learned how to separate the wheat from the chaff at harvest time
and if you’re expecting any kind of harvest in Ukraine, you need to learn how to do the same
that is, separate the women who will sleep with you, from those who won’t...

now, let me begin with a disclaimer here, so the religious righty-right won’t have the usual knee-jerk reaction.  all women should be treated respectfully, they are truly one of the most beautiful things in the universe.  any kind of physical coercion of a woman is despicable, period, and frankly unnecessary.  psychological coercion is fair game by me, since women use it on men constantly, what’s good for the goose...

so my brothers, let me show you my little “thresing machine”
it works like this:

you meet a woman on the street in Kyiv, and you invite her to lunch
at lunch you invite her to diner
at diner, you mention that the Spanish word for bathroom is “banyo” and you heard the Russian word “banya” is that the same as “bathroom”?
No, it isn’t!
after she explains it to you, you say with enthusiasm that you want to go, but then with some hesitation, “not by yourself...” and let your voice trail off...
if she has any interest in you at all, she’ll volunteer herself as your companion...
if not, you finish diner, tell her good night, and “move on"
all the 5 star hotels in Ukraine will have a banya in the ground floor or basement
now, the next part is the part that requires some “finesse” on your part
your joint banya experience will go one of two ways, either you go into separate saunas and showers or you share one...
obviously you want to share one, since this will mean being naked with her!
I personally have never had separate saunas with a woman in Kyiv, even if I had only known her over diner...

ok?

i’ve taken you this far...
the rest is up to you...






Offline Sting23

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 547
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2018, 12:12:35 PM »
Wrong!:D I've been to Moscow so know what it is like there, though I only know a few scant words of Russian so usually stick to English.

how long were you there?  I lived and worked there.  Correct me if I'm wrong but did you even date anyone in Moscow?
« Last Edit: April 14, 2018, 02:06:40 PM by Sting23 »

Online Trenchcoat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8319
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • 🇺🇦
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2018, 02:19:47 PM »
how long were you there?  I lived and worked there.  Correct me if I'm wrong but did you even date anyone in Moscow?

I was just there one week as a tourist so did not date anyone there. I got a general impression of what the women were like. I thought I was already sorted with girl hence why I didn't date there.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Sting23

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 547
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2018, 09:29:01 PM »
my single brothers...



so my brothers, let me show you my little “thresing machine”
it works like this:

you meet a woman on the street in Kyiv, and you invite her to lunch
at lunch you invite her to diner
at diner, you mention that the Spanish word for bathroom is “banyo” and you heard the Russian word “banya” is that the same as “bathroom”?
No, it isn’t!
after she explains it to you, you say with enthusiasm that you want to go, but then with some hesitation, “not by yourself...” and let your voice trail off...
if she has any interest in you at all, she’ll volunteer herself as your companion...
if not, you finish diner, tell her good night, and “move on"
all the 5 star hotels in Ukraine will have a banya in the ground floor or basement
now, the next part is the part that requires some “finesse” on your part
your joint banya experience will go one of two ways, either you go into separate saunas and showers or you share one...
obviously you want to share one, since this will mean being naked with her!
I personally have never had separate saunas with a woman in Kyiv, even if I had only known her over diner...


Smooooth

Offline msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10618
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: > 10
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2018, 07:57:55 AM »
The average male expat in Moscow is not much competition if you know what I mean,

NO, I don't ...  I know one or two and I hope they notice this post


Really, are you trying to outdo Trench - posting such nonsense?




Offline DaveNY

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1560
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2018, 09:08:40 AM »
Probably because he hasn't had success there himself.  If you are any sort of half decent, articulate guy who is healthy, doesn't drink to excess and act like a fool then you'll do very well.  The average male expat in Moscow is not much competition if you know what I mean, let alone the average Russian dude.

There's double the number of people in Russia and Ukraine than in the Phillipines. 

Trench hasn't even been to Russia, doesn't speak Russian and basically has no idea what it's like there.

Sting23, like you I lived and worked in Moscow. I got married there. I personally worked with large numbers of expats and locals. I met with some. like me, very highly educated expats. When I was teaching English several of my clients were academics who wanted to improve their English to attend academic conferences and give lectures in English at conferences. Why? Because there are far more conferences in English than in Russian and listening to translators is boring, their words.

If you're one of those people who think all Russian men are alcoholics and Russian women are just waiting to be rescued by a sober expat than you wasted your time in Russia.

Offline Boomstick77

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 40
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: > 10
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2018, 01:21:17 PM »
If memory serves me correctly. I recall the reason FSU women aren’t interested in the men over there can be explained in one word “disappointing”. Maybe lack of ambition. Men don’t know how to compliment. Alcoholics...well giving the facts that every time I visit over there for 50 straight days. Booze and vacations go hand and hand. So I drink from the time I wake up till the time I go to bed. Might as well. Hey a 15 pack of beer is 30$ in Canada. So I won’t talk bad about them just enjoying themselves. I could go on. I love being the massive upgrade with minimal effort or should I toot my own horn and say I’m a natural.

There’s nothing wrong with the men over there..they just aren’t as cool. They do try and start trouble when drinking. Last one guy said..hey American... what brings you over here. I said I’m not American. He said where you from..I said Canada...he said it’s the same thing. I said really. I thought you Russians were smarter then that. He got up and said I’m not Russian..I said you could have fooled me...you speak the language. He laughed and invited me for a drink. I gave him the shoo sign. He complied. My wife was impressed. I couldn’t blame her at all. They like to drink and get mouthy and foolish...so do I so I have no problems with their love of alcohol.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2018, 01:30:14 PM by Boomstick77 »

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3072
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2018, 01:34:49 PM »
Both Russian women and Ukrainian women overwhelmingly marry Russian men and Ukrainian men.  Those that can't find a mate would never say, I assume, that they couldn't find a man locally, so there must be something wrong with the locals. :-\   I suppose that is human nature.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10618
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: > 10
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2018, 01:35:16 PM »
Sting23, like you I lived and worked in Moscow. I got married there. I personally worked with large numbers of expats and locals. I met with some. like me, very highly educated expats. When I was teaching English several of my clients were academics who wanted to improve their English to attend academic conferences and give lectures in English at conferences. Why? Because there are far more conferences in English than in Russian and listening to translators is boring, their words.

If you're one of those people who think all Russian men are alcoholics and Russian women are just waiting to be rescued by a sober expat than you wasted your time in Russia.

I am pretty certain our Sting23 actually believes what he posts - that IS rather scary ... 

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2018, 02:48:35 PM »
some demographic observations:

an endangered species in Russia is a stable single man with an income sufficient to support a family...

women over 30, a divorcee with kids, aren’t in very high demand in the Russian “market”...

Russian culture has elevated men to the position that women have in Western culture, Russian mothers dote on their sons, their daughters less so, this favoritism carries past the maternal relationship...  the majority of conservative Russian men hold an old-fashioned patriarchal-centric view that many younger Russian women do not share, these women are more Western in their views on feminism.

most single Russian women have a difficult life and have “escapist” fantasies...

when combined, these factors tend to elevate westerners, particularly for women less tied to tradition...

I am the father of two Russian-American teenage girls, and married to a beautiful Russian woman. 3 years of living in Crimea made me acutely aware of how Russian women are treated by Russian men...

Russian culture does not respect the things that we in the west would label as a “human right”
there is no such thing in Russia.  The social and legal protections that women have in the west is absent in the east, male behavior reflects this lack of protection

the problem of how women are treated by men in Russia, is part of a bigger problem, of how human beings are treated...

 
 

Offline Sting23

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 547
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2018, 04:37:40 PM »
Sting23, like you I lived and worked in Moscow. I got married there. I personally worked with large numbers of expats and locals. I met with some. like me, very highly educated expats. When I was teaching English several of my clients were academics who wanted to improve their English to attend academic conferences and give lectures in English at conferences. Why? Because there are far more conferences in English than in Russian and listening to translators is boring, their words.

If you're one of those people who think all Russian men are alcoholics and Russian women are just waiting to be rescued by a sober expat than you wasted your time in Russia.

DaveNY, don't know how you extrapolated from my comments that all Russian men are alcoholics and women want to be rescued.  I said if you're reasonably heathy, intelligent and can carry a conversation you'll have no problem with the ladies. 

I don't you when you were last in Moscow or your age range.  My social group is 20's and 30's.  You are probably far older.  If I recall you were there in the late 90's which is a completely different era.  I lived there last year.  Most expats I met were fresh outta school bumming around Russia drinking and chasing girls.

Certainly didn't waste my time at all personally or professionally.  Perhaps you did?
« Last Edit: April 18, 2018, 04:39:54 PM by Sting23 »

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2018, 05:38:29 PM »
Sting23

I don't think we need to let differences of our individual experiences or interpretations lead to conflict
they're just different, and they can each be equally valid...

definitely a generational difference at play and I'm sure other differences as well over various disagreements

at your age, my career dominated my life and I had nothing in my life other than my career!
it would have been a huge sacrifice on my part to go live in Russia on a $2,000 mo salary (average engineer salary)
even the non-cash compensation :) would not have been an enticement!!!

but if you're young and in search of a Bohemian life-style I can see why it'd pull you there!!!
but unless you're "well heeled" you career will pay the price, some people may be willing to make this trade and I do envy them this...
there's a lot to be said for "living for the moment"...
if you can safely ignore the rest...









Offline DaveNY

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1560
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2018, 10:15:02 PM »
DaveNY, don't know how you extrapolated from my comments that all Russian men are alcoholics and women want to be rescued.  I said if you're reasonably heathy, intelligent and can carry a conversation you'll have no problem with the ladies. 

I don't you when you were last in Moscow or your age range.  My social group is 20's and 30's.  You are probably far older.  If I recall you were there in the late 90's which is a completely different era.  I lived there last year.  Most expats I met were fresh outta school bumming around Russia drinking and chasing girls.

Certainly didn't waste my time at all personally or professionally.  Perhaps you did?

Last in Russia in 2016. Couldn't go last year due to work. First went to Russia in '92 when I was living in London. I went because I'd never been and I'd been to most places in Europe. Went a couple more times for vacations. In 1999 when Russia was suffering economically I lead a team of 5 into Moscow looking for business opportunities. Unfortunately there wasn't much there. Second trip in 1999 met my wife.   

In 2000 when the company I worked for was bought, I was given a golden handshake (less than a golden parachute) to leave. Moved to Russia taught English and found a much better paying job with an American company. Lived there till 2006. Since coming back to US I've been to Russia at least once a year till missing a trip last year.

So Sting23 I've probably heard and seen, at least in Moscow, as much as anyone who isn't a local. Yes I am much older than you, I'm in my 60s.

As for your statement that "if you're reasonably heathy (sic), intelligent and can carry a conversation you'll have no problem with the ladies" in general you're wrong. Most RW in Moscow, and even more so outside of Moscow, don't speak a foreign language well enough to carry on a conversation in English or German or French, etc.

Knowledge of English among the younger generation has gotten somewhat better in the last 15 years IMO but an expat would have to work hard to find a young RW who spoke good English AND was willing to have an extended conversation AND was willing to date an expat. It's my opinion and the opinion of a number of expat and local English teachers that I know that the Kremlin doesn't want Russians to speak good or fluent English, as is the case in many European countries, because this would lead to an even greater brain drain out of Russia. 

Sting23 if you've lived in Russia you must know sex tourism is a well known phenomenon in Russia and young RW tend to be leery of most foreigners trying to date them because of this. IIRC there has actually been government announcements about the dangers to local women from sex tourists. 

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2018, 11:15:42 PM »
cool bio DaveNY

ever had any "run-ins" with any "hooligans" over there?
did you live in an apartment in Mockba or dacha?

was it hard adjusting when you returned to the USA?

are things different now compared to 10 years ago

btw, will be taking my first trip back to Krim in July since it changed owners...
I am really paranoid about being in Russia now, should I be???


Offline mhr7

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1983
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: Resident
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2018, 02:52:12 AM »

... but an expat would have to work hard to find a young RW who spoke good English AND was willing to have an extended conversation AND was willing to date an expat. It's my opinion and the opinion of a number of expat and local English teachers that I know that the Kremlin doesn't want Russians to speak good or fluent English, as is the case in many European countries, because this would lead to an even greater brain drain out of Russia. 

I disagree. Meeting women who speak English, will talk to you and will date an expat aren't that difficult to find. I've found them and every expat I know has found them as well. English is taught in public schools and there are numerous private schools that teach English here. I've never heard of this Kremlin plot to keep people from speaking decent English. I'm very sure it doesn't exist, there's just no evidence. If Russia is trying to prevent a brain drain they're doing a very poor job.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2018, 03:23:45 AM by mhr7 »
"After your death, you will be what you were before your birth." - Schopenhauer

Offline DaveNY

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1560
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2018, 09:36:22 AM »
I disagree. Meeting women who speak English, will talk to you and will date an expat aren't that difficult to find. I've found them and every expat I know has found them as well. English is taught in public schools and there are numerous private schools that teach English here. I've never heard of this Kremlin plot to keep people from speaking decent English. I'm very sure it doesn't exist, there's just no evidence. If Russia is trying to prevent a brain drain they're doing a very poor job.

mhr7 I agree English is taught in public schools in Russia. My wife was a math teacher I've been in Russian high schools. I've met some students who spoke excellent English and had little trouble speaking to me in English however all these students received additional English training at their parents' expense. Their parents realized their children needed knowledge of English if the kids were to go on to higher education outside of Russia or to work internationally.

What I'm talking about is the English language training that is offered in many European countries. In places such as Germany and the Netherlands. These students are taught English to such a degree that most can speak reasonably good English without the added cost of private English lessons. For instance, in the larger European cities such as Amsterdam, Berlin even Paris I can walk into a McDonald's and in most cases order my meal in English. If the employees of a store in Europe are under 40 and certainly if they're under 30 there is almost always someone who can speak English available to serve an English speaking customer. Can't do that in Moscow, even today, I've tried. 

This theory is just that a theory and was told to me by a number of Russian teachers who had been pushing for years for funding and resources for greater English language instruction. The brain drain from Russia is a real problem.   

Offline DaveNY

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1560
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2018, 10:02:30 AM »
cool bio DaveNY

ever had any "run-ins" with any "hooligans" over there?
did you live in an apartment in Mockba or dacha?

Moved in with my wife when I lived there. First thing we did was find a larger apartment. Her place was small for her, add in my 6'8" body and we were really cramped. As for the criminal element never a problem for me but I'm an older guy. Knew some black guys who had been roughed up and one guy who had been hurt really bad by some skinheads.

was it hard adjusting when you returned to the USA?

When I was teaching English I only taught the minimum amount needed for my visa. I traveled back home several times due to problems with property I owned and had rented out. When I got a job with an American company part of my job was travel to Europe, I have Italian citizenship, and the US so I was never really away for years on end. Still it was nice to be home. 

are things different now compared to 10 years ago

Moscow has changed dramatically. It continues to grow. Old buildings are being replaced with modern highrises at purchase prices equal to any large European or American city. Much to the disdain of many Russians, Russia is becoming more European or worse American. Women wear the latest European fashions. Rich Russians drive the newest BMWs, Mercedes, etch. Lots of Japanese cars on the road. Traffic is terrible. Don't drive in Moscow unless you're use to driving continuously in rush hour traffic.   


btw, will be taking my first trip back to Krim in July since it changed owners...
I am really paranoid about being in Russia now, should I be???

I missed going to Russia in 2017 but 2016 was fine. Just don't argue politics or criticize Russia in public. Don't announce yourself as American. Don't wear an American flag on your luggage. Years ago I would have said don't wear American branded clothing but now it's not uncommon to see a Yankees tshirt on a Russian or a tshirt with an American basketball team's name. The Internet makes it easier for Russians to buy international.

Because the 2018 FIFA World Cup (soccer to us Americans) is in Russia this year there'll be lots of additional tourists and maybe even a few extra Americans in Russia so you should just blend in with the crowd.

Offline Kunstkammer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 170
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2018, 10:55:54 PM »
I’m an American and have been living in Russia since 2009. I mean living, I don’t need visas because I have the Russian version of a green card. Pretty sure 2013-late 2014 I never even left the country. I own an apartment in the city center of SPb, I own a car here, I was married here, my children were born here, I used public medical insurance to have surgery for an ulcer, I work in a Russian company with Russian colleagues who speak only Russian, I’ve been all over the country with Russian hooligans supporting a sports team, I use this as a smile in text messages ))


I could list more but you get the point. I’ve never had a single issue from anyone because I’m an American  though I don’t go signaling that I’m an American walking down the street, but that’s stupid shit to do in general even in your own country. I’ve seen plenty of tourists walking around as obvious tourists and haven’t witnessed any ill treatment from anyone especially when they are asking for help or something.


If you go to a forgien country and start talking all political you probably need to re-evaluate your priorities in life. If I’m with my colleagues and they are discussing some political issue (usually on the local level) if I have an opinion I usually chime in with my thoughts and it’s socially acceptable because I, you know, pay taxes.



По всему Кавказу про нас слава ходит, наш дедушка, наш Ермолов на всех страх наводит.

Offline whynotme

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 300
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Female
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Married 3-5 years
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2018, 11:15:52 PM »
I’ve never had a single issue from anyone because I’m an American 
It's Russian propaganda, it can't be true  :P

Offline Kunstkammer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 170
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2018, 11:26:52 PM »
It's Russian propaganda, it can't be true  :P


I admit it, I’m one of those Russian bots that is responsible for anything anyone disagrees with on the internet. ))
По всему Кавказу про нас слава ходит, наш дедушка, наш Ермолов на всех страх наводит.

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #20 on: April 19, 2018, 11:56:27 PM »
I lived 3 yr in Krim
dealt with a pickpocket once who tried to steal a non-existent wallet
got into 1 fight with young drunken guys who were harassing my wife and children to impress their girlfriends
got into another fight with a drunken guy who grabbed my wife's ass!!!
locals thought I was psycho for such over-reactions (and compared me to being Georgian!)!!

driving in Krim was a challenge!
pedestrians don't even bother to look and will dart in front of you
road rage is pretty common, watch for slow drivers trying to block you passing them

if you live below the third floor in an apartment you will have to have massive steel bars over your windows
it feels like living in a prison...

drug and alcohol abuse were common sights
people passed out, even 2 deaths from drunks passing out at night after drinking in winter, that kids saw on way to school
needles, syringes in parks
and for gods sake be careful of people's dogs there, no one will care if their dog bites you or your kids...

it appears that while I am in Krim, publicly making statements supporting Ukraine could earn me a beat-down by Russians or jail by the police
so other than not being free to speak the truth, I might be OK so long as I don't run into any bad luck or drunken  pridorki...




 

Offline DaveNY

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1560
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #21 on: April 20, 2018, 12:17:48 AM »
I’m an American and have been living in Russia since 2009. I mean living, I don’t need visas because I have the Russian version of a green card. Pretty sure 2013-late 2014 I never even left the country. I own an apartment in the city center of SPb, I own a car here, I was married here, my children were born here, I used public medical insurance to have surgery for an ulcer, I work in a Russian company with Russian colleagues who speak only Russian, I’ve been all over the country with Russian hooligans supporting a sports team, I use this as a smile in text messages ))


I could list more but you get the point. I’ve never had a single issue from anyone because I’m an American  though I don’t go signaling that I’m an American walking down the street, but that’s stupid shit to do in general even in your own country. I’ve seen plenty of tourists walking around as obvious tourists and haven’t witnessed any ill treatment from anyone especially when they are asking for help or something.


If you go to a forgien country and start talking all political you probably need to re-evaluate your priorities in life. If I’m with my colleagues and they are discussing some political issue (usually on the local level) if I have an opinion I usually chime in with my thoughts and it’s socially acceptable because I, you know, pay taxes.

Kunstkammer have you ever thought of taking out Russian citizenship? I looked into it back in 2004. Talked to an immigration lawyer in the US and she said there was no problem with the US government. Also talked to a Russian lawyer who had been in the Russian civil service and she also said I wouldn't be required to renounce my US citizenship or do military service. At the time I was over 50 so I felt far certain I would avoid the Russian draft if I took Russian citizenship. My only real worry about taking out citizenship was the Russian language requirement however I was assured it wouldn't be too difficult and very few westerners have failed it. IIRC at the time Russia was apparently trying to coax western businesses and westerners to live and work in Russia.

In the future do you think you'll move back to the US? In all the time I was in Russia of the hundreds of Americans I met in Russia I only met maybe 3 or 4 Americans who planned on permanently living in Russia. One of those got divorced about a year after I talked to her and moved back to the US.

Offline Kunstkammer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 170
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #22 on: April 20, 2018, 01:52:35 AM »
Kunstkammer have you ever thought of taking out Russian citizenship? I looked into it back in 2004. Talked to an immigration lawyer in the US and she said there was no problem with the US government. Also talked to a Russian lawyer who had been in the Russian civil service and she also said I wouldn't be required to renounce my US citizenship or do military service. At the time I was over 50 so I felt far certain I would avoid the Russian draft if I took Russian citizenship. My only real worry about taking out citizenship was the Russian language requirement however I was assured it wouldn't be too difficult and very few westerners have failed it. IIRC at the time Russia was apparently trying to coax western businesses and westerners to live and work in Russia.

In the future do you think you'll move back to the US? In all the time I was in Russia of the hundreds of Americans I met in Russia I only met maybe 3 or 4 Americans who planned on permanently living in Russia. One of those got divorced about a year after I talked to her and moved back to the US.


I don’t really have any interest in becoming a Russian citizen, on the basic level the only thing I can’t do is vote. I really don’t have a desire to vote, there could be negative effects to becoming a Russian citizen not pertaining to loss of American citizenship but to loss of support from the US State Department in the highly highly unlikely event unfounded legal trouble arises and I could be denied exit from Russia based on being a Russian citizen. Lots of unlikely scenarios but i’d Rather not have to ever deal with them. Basically just to vote? No thanks.


I had to take a test for my residency permit (the 2nd time, it wasn’t a requirement the first time) it is more than a language test, it anolougues to the US citizenship test, for language there is a writing portion, a speaking portion, a grammar section, and a reading comprehension section, it’s fairly simple and is only at level A2.  After that there are sections on Russian history, law, and something else I forget.   I passed it fairly easily but there were (Russian) Moldavian citizens taking the exam with me whom failed the history section, kinda shocked me.


I really don’t plan to move to the US, as I don’t have any real reason to, except for maybe my parents getting older. I’ve pretty much ‘gone native’ and don’t really talk to other expats and I actually actively try to avoid them. Most of them are here for work or something and trying hard to be ‘American expat guy’ and I’m just a normal guy that happens to be an American but it has little to no impact on whatever I happen to be doing. The expats I’ve come across seem to want everyone around them to a) know they are American and b) know they aren’t a lowly tourist. It’s annoying to everyone around them.


I think any apprehension that I might be ‘that kind’ of expat usually goes away when it dawns on them I’m using colloquial phrases and can actually give directions. Actually the only time I like to ‘show off’ is when I hear parents talk about their ‘bilingual kid’ (because he gets extra English lessons) and start talking to my son in English and they can see him speaking perfectly and fluently, then they see him speaking to his mother in perfect Russian. They usually stop bragging after this.
По всему Кавказу про нас слава ходит, наш дедушка, наш Ермолов на всех страх наводит.

Offline DaveNY

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1560
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #23 on: April 20, 2018, 09:29:42 AM »

I don’t really have any interest in becoming a Russian citizen, on the basic level the only thing I can’t do is vote. I really don’t have a desire to vote, there could be negative effects to becoming a Russian citizen not pertaining to loss of American citizenship but to loss of support from the US State Department in the highly highly unlikely event unfounded legal trouble arises and I could be denied exit from Russia based on being a Russian citizen. Lots of unlikely scenarios but i’d Rather not have to ever deal with them. Basically just to vote? No thanks.


I had to take a test for my residency permit (the 2nd time, it wasn’t a requirement the first time) it is more than a language test, it anolougues to the US citizenship test, for language there is a writing portion, a speaking portion, a grammar section, and a reading comprehension section, it’s fairly simple and is only at level A2.  After that there are sections on Russian history, law, and something else I forget.   I passed it fairly easily but there were (Russian) Moldavian citizens taking the exam with me whom failed the history section, kinda shocked me.

When you took your test for your residency permit were there any other westerners taking the test with you? When I spoke with a Russian lawyer about Russian citizenship she said the vast majority of those taking out Russian citizenship were from the 'stans, Moldova, Africa, very few westerners. Of the westerners most were women who had married Russians.

I really don’t plan to move to the US, as I don’t have any real reason to, except for maybe my parents getting older. I’ve pretty much ‘gone native’ and don’t really talk to other expats and I actually actively try to avoid them. Most of them are here for work or something and trying hard to be ‘American expat guy’ and I’m just a normal guy that happens to be an American but it has little to no impact on whatever I happen to be doing. The expats I’ve come across seem to want everyone around them to a) know they are American and b) know they aren’t a lowly tourist. It’s annoying to everyone around them.

The longer I was in Russia the easier I found it to simply blend in. Being married to a Russian certainly helps. I knew no one other than my wife when I moved there so her circle of friends became mine.

I think any apprehension that I might be ‘that kind’ of expat usually goes away when it dawns on them I’m using colloquial phrases and can actually give directions. Actually the only time I like to ‘show off’ is when I hear parents talk about their ‘bilingual kid’ (because he gets extra English lessons) and start talking to my son in English and they can see him speaking perfectly and fluently, then they see him speaking to his mother in perfect Russian. They usually stop bragging after this.

With our girls (8 year old twins) we tend to do the each parent speaks their own language to the kids. When my wife takes the girls out with her Russian friends everything's in Russian so the girls get to hear other Russians speaking Russian. The girls have few problems speaking with other kids when we're in Russia so they're about as bilingual as Russian-American kids can get.

Offline Kunstkammer

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 170
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Musings on Women, Expat Life, and Other Stuff
« Reply #24 on: April 20, 2018, 12:26:48 PM »
With our kids we use the system ‘one parent one language’ I only speak to them in English and my wife only in Russian. My son is actually forced to sit in an English class in sadik where he speaks better English than his teacher.  My daughter isn’t really speaking yet, but she responds the same way the same words in English or Russian.


As for the test there were like 4 people there besides me. I think they were all from Moldova or maybe one from some Stan but they were all ethnic Russians. When I was waiting 3 times in the wonderful FMS/OVIR whatever you want to call it to get my document renewed there were hundreds of Ukrainians and some people from other FSU republics. It was mostly Ukrainians though going by passports I saw. I think I saw some Turks and a Greek and there was an Arab but I didn’t see his passport. But this is just the day I went. Not a scientific analysis.


I grew up in a military family and then was in the military blending in and adapting to new location and people is in my programming, it was easy for me.
По всему Кавказу про нас слава ходит, наш дедушка, наш Ермолов на всех страх наводит.

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 8883
Latest: Leroy14
New This Month: 1
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 541004
Total Topics: 20849
Most Online Today: 2013
Most Online Ever: 12701
(January 14, 2020, 07:04:55 AM)
Users Online
Members: 12
Guests: 1880
Total: 1892

+-Recent Posts

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 11:16:08 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by ML
Today at 10:31:43 AM

Re: What to do by krimster2
Today at 09:47:10 AM

What to do by 2tallbill
Today at 09:37:41 AM

Re: If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by 2tallbill
Today at 09:18:17 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 07:00:25 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Brillynt
Today at 06:16:36 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Yesterday at 09:20:42 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Infoman
Yesterday at 09:12:54 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Yesterday at 09:02:12 PM

Powered by EzPortal

create account