Forum > Experienced
What is an MOB'er?
Daveman:
--- Quote from: GQBlues on February 17, 2013, 09:09:39 AM ---
...
Don't be coy with me - I'm not your average MOBer.
--- End quote ---
No offense meant with the following:
What is an average MOBer, and how do you differ? I don't know, GQ, I've read your posts going way back, and your story of meeting, living life, age gap, etc., seems to echo commonalities with many other that I've read and is also divergent from many others. Nothing wrong with that as all of our stories have some aspects in common as well as differences. What I don't understand is the constant need to distance yourself from the elusive, enigmatic, and I reckon stereotypical profile (whatever that is) of an "MOB'er". So what exactly is it? (anyone?)
Perhaps a good thread topic but here would be as good a place as any..
--- Quote ---...They can see right through men involved in the MOB.
--- End quote ---
Seems to me that they project what they wish to believe. Some guys will inevitably fit the bill and others won't.
--- Quote ---You should spend some valuable time making preparations for the arrival of your gal. Check University/Community College schedules and itineraries, ESL centers, etc...things that will prove to be a great value for her acclimation once she gets here than to be posting drivels endlessly on message boards.
--- End quote ---
absolutely agree.
--- Quote ---Not bashing, dude...just keeping this real.
--- End quote ---
Same here.
GQBlues:
--- Quote from: Daveman on February 17, 2013, 12:09:18 PM ---
No offense meant with the following:..
--- End quote ---
Nope. I can never be offended. I am the BATMAN!
--- Quote ---...What is an average MOBer, and how do you differ? I don't know, GQ, I've read your posts going way back, and your story of meeting, living life, age gap, etc., seems to echo commonalities with many other that I've read and is also divergent from many others...nothing wrong with that as all of our stories have some aspects in common as well as differences. What I don't understand is the constant need to distance yourself from the elusive, enigmatic, and I reckon stereotypical profile (whatever that is) of an "MOB'er". So what exactly is it? (anyone?)...
--- End quote ---
Need?!? It isn't a *need*. It's a fact.
Since you said you've read my posts for a spell now (until way back) then you would know nothing in my post now contradict what I've written in the past.
So, aside from being so darn sexy, let me count other ways I KNOW I'm not a typical MOBer.....
1. I could never go back *looking* for another wife in the FSU if the first one didn't work out. Especially NOT within a relatively short time you see so many do around here. That's borderline horse trading to me.
2. I'm not so deluded to believe FSUWs are the end all and be all...
3. I neither claimed all AWs are fat, nor was I ever threatened by a woman's aspiration to search for her personal worth and value as an individual. Her personal success, with or before me, is never a threat to my manhood.
4. I can never fall in love with a woman's picture/s before I even meet her in person.
5. I can never send hundreds and thousands of dollars to a woman I just met and consider her a GF after meeting her once.
6. I will never take the notion any of these women signed up for international marriage because of *me* despite not having an iota of an idea *I* even exist when she first signed up.
7. I will never hold the belief what the woman/women doesn't know, or didn't ask - I don't have to tell. That's just as bad as lying and that's what's being exchange here constantly as an advice amongst these MOBers.
8. I would have never spent years - and hundreds and thousands of dollars - hitting places like Ukraine/Russia, or any other MOB region - *looking* for a wife.
9. I can never get so caught up with the idea of her being what she is - instead of who she is.
10. I have never denied how my wife and I met when people here ask.
11. I can never be caught up in the idea of the *MOB* that nothing else in my life can functionally exist anymore.
12. I don't brown nose my wife nor do I expect her to do so for me.
13. I don't flash my money around during courtship because I have nothing else to offer of myself.
14. I did not go to Russia with the notion I'm looking for a wife and told the women so.
15. I did not fret, was coy, held, lied about telling the women I am also meeting others during the time I'll be in Russia just to *see* if there's any mutual attraction or interest to pursue anything further. (Back-up plans? Really? LOL)
16. I encouraged women to do likewise until the time any of them is comfortably assured with me/us.
17. I can never subscribed to the silly idea my wife *sacrificed* all that she had ever known to be with *me* as so many of these drama kings would love to believe about themselves. Had my wife told me she's sacrificing anything to be with me, I would've moved on, stayed home and married a nice American gal who can see me as an addition in her life than a deduction. I am no more sacrificing any part of my life for marrying my wife as I'd like my partner to believe the same about me.
I could go on, but why bother...my posts are here in the archives and on the other board. Consistency is key. So, if you'd feel better believing I am like you and everyone, then more power to you bruddah. No skin off my nose...
--- Quote ---...Perhaps a good thread topic but here would be as good a place as any...
--- End quote ---
To what end? For years you've been in boards like this, you should know by now reality has no residency in this venture. Folks are either deprived of social acceptance in their respective lairs and/or their mortal motor functions are way past expiry date and the MOB offer an option for an escape. Does it ever make you wonder why these blokes search each other out to be *friends*? Birds of feathers flock together, man.
--- Quote ---...Seems to me that they project what they wish to believe. Some guys will inevitably fit the bill and others won't....
--- End quote ---
Next time when you get a chance, attend these AM/FSUW gatherings and honestly ask yourself...how many of these men can you really define with? How many of them do you have any commonality with? I asked myself that question many times and aside from our wives are generally from the same region - not much really - NO, actually nothing. Zip. Nada.
The majority of them (yes, not all) are social rejects and old geezers. You can literally see that in their daily postings.
--- Quote ---...Same here.
--- End quote ---
Yup. There you have it.
Daveman:
--- Quote from: GQBlues on February 18, 2013, 08:46:54 PM ---Nope. I can never be offended. I am the BATMAN!
--- End quote ---
Me either.. but I'm the CATMAN! ;D
--- Quote ---
Need?!? It isn't a *need*. It's a fact.
Since you said you've read my posts for a spell now (until way back) then you would know nothing in my post now contradict what I've written in the past.
--- End quote ---
Okay, so let's look at the list... thanks for taking the time to post it BTW..
--- Quote ---
So, aside from being so darn sexy, let me count other ways I KNOW I'm not a typical MOBer.....
--- End quote ---
Check
--- Quote ---1. I could never go back *looking* for another wife in the FSU if the first one didn't work out. Especially NOT within a relatively short time you see so many do around here. That's borderline horse trading to me.
--- End quote ---
Not sure I follow the exact point. You mean after a divorce? or if a relationship didn't work out? Going back at all? Personally, I really don't think it matters much whether one goes back or not..
--- Quote ---2. I'm not so deluded to believe FSUWs are the end all and be all...
--- End quote ---
Check... although mine is pretty darn special.. ;D
--- Quote ---3. I neither claimed all AWs are fat, nor was I ever threatened by a woman's aspiration to search for her personal worth and value as an individual. Her personal success, with or before me, is never a threat to my manhood.
--- End quote ---
Check... But, I can't recall anyone ever posting about personal success being a threat. Most of the married guys I know are doing whatever they can to assist in bringing her personal success to fruition.
--- Quote ---4. I can never fall in love with a woman's picture/s before I even meet her in person.
--- End quote ---
Check
--- Quote ---5. I can never send hundreds and thousands of dollars to a woman I just met and consider her a GF after meeting her once.
--- End quote ---
Check
--- Quote ---6. I will never take the notion any of these women signed up for international marriage because of *me* despite not having an iota of an idea *I* even exist when she first signed up.
--- End quote ---
Check... though I must not get the gist of that one, because the premise defies logic. Who would think such a thing?
--- Quote ---7. I will never hold the belief what the woman/women doesn't know, or didn't ask - I don't have to tell. That's just as bad as lying and that's what's being exchange here constantly as an advice amongst these MOBers.
--- End quote ---
Related to VM? I never made a VM trip, but multiple VO's so I consider it a prolonged VM.. heh.. I never denied prior meetings, visits, or relationships but didn't bring them up either. Simply not polite unless the lady asks. Women always know anyway. It's only a matter of whether they broach the subject.
--- Quote ---8. I would have never spent years - and hundreds and thousands of dollars - hitting places like Ukraine/Russia, or any other MOB region - *looking* for a wife.
--- End quote ---
You got me there.. I dated here and there...and mostly there.. for years until we met and built something we wanted to be permanent.
--- Quote ---9. I can never get so caught up with the idea of her being what she is - instead of who she is.
--- End quote ---
Yeah, but what she is gives her that sexy accent. ;) Ya just can't teach that...
--- Quote ---10. I have never denied how my wife and I met when people here ask.
--- End quote ---
Check
--- Quote ---11. I can never be caught up in the idea of the *MOB* that nothing else in my life can functionally exist anymore.
--- End quote ---
I guess I can check that one as well. Such a though has not entered my mind.
--- Quote ---12. I don't brown nose my wife nor do I expect her to do so for me.
--- End quote ---
Check
--- Quote ---13. I don't flash my money around during courtship because I have nothing else to offer of myself.
--- End quote ---
Check.. only because I have no money.. >:D
--- Quote ---14. I did not go to Russia with the notion I'm looking for a wife and told the women so.
--- End quote ---
Then why did you go? And how did you wind up meeting many? I went looking for fun and possibility, but the option of a relationship which may lead to marriage was always there.
--- Quote ---15. I did not fret, was coy, held, lied about telling the women I am also meeting others during the time I'll be in Russia just to *see* if there's any mutual attraction or interest to pursue anything further. (Back-up plans? Really? LOL)
--- End quote ---
Half check.. never lied (though always on VO trips) but always took a couple of agency numbers along as a back up in case of the 10 second crash and burn.
--- Quote ---16. I encouraged women to do likewise until the time any of them is comfortably assured with me/us.
--- End quote ---
Check...
--- Quote ---17. I can never subscribed to the silly idea my wife *sacrificed* all that she had ever known to be with *me* as so many of these drama kings would love to believe about themselves. Had my wife told me she's sacrificing anything to be with me, I would've moved on, stayed home and married a nice American gal who can see me as an addition in her life than a deduction. I am no more sacrificing any part of my life for marrying my wife as I'd like my partner to believe the same about me.
--- End quote ---
Check.
--- Quote ---I could go on, but why bother...my posts are here in the archives and on the other board. Consistency is key. So, if you'd feel better believing I am like you and everyone, then more power to you bruddah. No skin off my nose...
--- End quote ---
Facts are facts. We have more in common than we differ. Doesn't make me feel better or worse, just is what it is. And, the big kicker is that we both also imported a wife/partner. Regardless of anything else in common between us or with other guys doing something similar - are we not considered MOB'ers by everyone else?
--- Quote ---To what end? For years you've been in boards like this, you should know by now reality has no residency in this venture. Folks are either deprived of social acceptance in their respective lairs and/or their mortal motor functions are way past expiry date and the MOB offer an option for an escape. Does it ever make you wonder why these blokes search each other out to be *friends*? Birds of feathers flock together, man.
Next time when you get a chance, attend these AM/FSUW gatherings and honestly ask yourself...how many of these men can you really define with? How many of them do you have any commonality with? I asked myself that question many times and aside from our wives are generally from the same region - not much really - NO, actually nothing. Zip. Nada.
--- End quote ---
Haven't attended one as of yet. Actually, We haven't met even another couple in person (Though we met JR when he and I were in Donetsk at the same time). We did attend a Russian Shashlik party, but I was the oddball as the only "foreigner" - heh - but it was pretty cool. There are a some couples on the forum here I'd enjoy meeting someday for sure if opportunity ever presents.
Daveman:
So.... How do YOU (meaning anyone/everyone) define an MOB'er?
and.. would the ladies be MOB'ees, or MOB'ettes? :P
jone:
GQ,
You have a unique talent. You answered directly Dave's charge to you, but you did so to probably the one person who could redefine what you were saying and make it look not unique. How could you have targeted that one individual? Well, that appears to be your true talent, my friend.
In many ways you are the Batman. I am probably more like you then like many of the other men on this site. But we all have our own uniqueness. Mine happens to be the predisposition of loving Eastern Europe and having traveled and conducted business there long before deciding to seek out a mate - if that's what I am doing.... I already know that I will live part of my future life in Eastern Europe. It would be foolish for me to marry or have relations with a California girl unless she has a similar urge to travel to such a destination. I do not seek age disparity. My present gal is only four years different than my ex. And my age and social mentality fits comfortably into the realm of not too old and not a geek.
Success or no success?
A successful MOBer can say that he has completed the cycle and wound up with a mate against great odds. Similarly, a woman who posts a profile on such a site faces even greater odds of success. So the married MOB couple are the pinnacle of those who have dabbled and tried, failed or were scammed or those who have wrung their hands without ever succeeding in making a trip overseas or of meeting such a man. In reality the successful MOBer is a staggeringly LOW percentage of those who consider this as a viable option for finding a mate.
Eye Candy:
What makes an FSU MOBer? The first answer to this has to be the Eye Candy. We see, we are interested. That simple. Unlike GQ's above description, if a man has a pulse, he is not going to be unmoved by the plethora of pictures to be had on any of the MOB sites. They are there. And these women are presumably looking themselves.
Anyone getting off at Terminal F at Borispol cannot help but see the type of woman that walks around the airport. The long legs. The blond hair. Trademarks of a Ukrainian woman. (Ironically my gal has neither blond hair, nor is that tall.)
Desperation?
I am always puzzled by the idea that people would consider us desperate. I am neither desperate nor willing to settle for anything less than someone who fulfills my personal needs. I have oft stated that any woman that I choose to be with will be kind and wise. Sometimes being kind and wise only comes from understanding that the man the woman is with is both loyal and dependable and able to provide for her needs and security. I like to think that the MOBer is smart enough not to settle for the average fare, whether in his home country or a country of his choosing.
No Illusions:
GQ brought up some interesting points about falling in love with a picture or identifying the woman as a girlfriend after one date. Too me this seems ludicrous. Ultimately the successful MOBer will have experienced some failure just as all men do in pursuit of a woman. Perhaps there will have been some money lost or repeated expectations that are not met. But ultimately the man who finds and marries a woman from the FSU that he met online, or through an agency, will both have experience in inter-cultural dating and the wooing of a woman without total communication. To do so requires great skill and empathy and a willingness to work through problems, sometimes not even knowing what the problems are or if they exist.
Now I am perfectly happy to discount 95% of the men who get on Anastasia Date or A Foreign Affair and start communicating with a woman that is less than half their age and has no intention of dating, much less marrying them. - especially if the woman is under 25, for example, and without attachments such as children. Such men should be held in contempt as fools. But they are not the successful ones. If they are, there is something unique about the man or unusual about the woman for the marriage to occur.
Expectation of Uniqueness:
I differ with GQ and slightly favor Dave on this issue. I happen to believe that the cultural heritage of an FSU woman makes her commitment to family and her willingness to cook and keep a good home refreshing in the world of the fast food restaurants of my current culture. Sure there are McDonalds in Ukraine. (McDonalds was the first building I saw upon entering Poltava.) But the mentality of an FSU woman is inclusive of the ability to cook and do things to keep a home nice, in spite of whatever other desires for personal achievement she may have.
I grew up in the Midwest. The values described above were the same there while I was growing up. In many ways, and I have multiple confirmations regarding this, FSU women mirror the values that we Midwesterners grew up with. But as Dave says, they come with this cute little accent.
We challenge ourselves to fly overseas to meet a woman that may or may not even be serious about a relationship. The risk is ours. To me that is the definition of an MOBer. He is someone who seeks out something unique that he believe can only be found at his destination and is willing to sacrifice much to verify that belief.
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