Trench's Questions and Philosophies

[Sting23]

You guys are overanalyzing everything.  Let Kyn go and meet this girl, have a coffee or dinner.  See if they even like each other.  Throw out all this talk about visa mules and ulterior motives.  Could it be she's just a normal girl trying to find a guy?

Trench, your lack of real world experience keeps showing up everytime you post.  There's many Russian girls who are single and in their 20's and  30's.  Or some have married and divorced quickly.

[Trenchcoat]

Because when women could emigrate with their men, they didn't need Western husbands anymore.  That doesn't mean they weren't good wives to their Western husbands, just that the means to a better material life, or the life they believed they desired, was available directly.

Why do you assume that because a woman wants to live in the West, she is looking for a mule?  Women who don't want to emigrate aren't open to marrying WM, unless the man is willing to move to her country.  This idea you have always espoused, of looking for a woman who doesn't want to move, is, frankly, stupid.

Eighteen year old girls often remain single for a long time, maybe even a decade or more.

I'm saying you are going to find what you fear.  Life usually works like that, in my observation.  It's the universe giving you what you want, or need.

If they are moving with being part of western society as a priority then doesn't this then give the danger of the guy being used as an immigration mule?

I'm not saying find a woman that doesn't want to move. I'm saying go to FSU, live there as if you are permanently staying there and tell the girl so. The girls I would just bring up from the dating sites as usual and try and find one that would accept me in FSU or abroad. This way I know she is into me, it should be no trouble for her to date me locally as she is there anyway and as she was on a foreign dating site moving abroad should also be ok.

Materialisthe women, well many attractive women I guess might be materialistic. Only time will tell and whether I can learn to deal with them.

[Boethius]

Living there will change nothing, in terms of who you attract.

[Sting23]

I'm not saying find a woman that doesn't want to move. I'm saying go to FSU, live there as if you are permanently staying there and tell the girl so. The girls I would just bring up from the dating sites as usual and try and find one that would accept me in FSU or abroad.

It's obvious you've never lived in any FSU country.  If you are in Moscow most foreigners are there temporarily for a year or 2. Usually teaching, working.  No girl is gonna believe that you moved permamently to Russian or Ukraine.  And what will your story be when you are there?
You can't commit to doing even a 1 week trip.   Highly doubt you would go there for longer.

[Trenchcoat]

Because when women could emigrate with their men, they didn't need Western husbands anymore.  That doesn't mean they weren't good wives to their Western husbands, just that the means to a better material life, or the life they believed they desired, was available directly.

This I accept is probably true enough, when Poland joined the EU and they got the right to live & work here no longer were they stowing away illegally on ships to get here (this I saw with my own eyes on a day trip to France, a Polish guy was apprehended on board the ship). Anyway, us UK guys thought great here comes lots of hot Polish women for us with a different attitude to UK women. A Polish guy I know had apparently beautiful Polish lady and she had good ways until she came here at least. Unfortunately in most perhaps nearly all cases they tend to stick to their own. A guy I know tried hitting on one but no joy, even a somewhat wealthier English guy wouldn't have much more luck I don't think. Evendors polish women that are unattached seem to seek out single polish guys more it seems.

So all us poor UK guys got was a load of Polish taking up our jobs and housing and no more joy on the dating front. Perhaps we should argue for equal access to Polish women in the present EU negotiations, lol. Now many Polish rent and they are reliable payers as they are used to paying for what they receive unlike many of the UK benefit crowd, they are decent people but they sometimes take more than one job, accept real low pay and/or overwork themselves to get the money in. All this just creates an overly competitive environment for the native population, housing is particularly acute here. Once we leave the EU this situation may eventually go back a little to how it was but it helps demonstrate the sort of mess being part of the EU got us in. Fortunately it doesn't look like Russia itself will ever join the EU

[Trenchcoat]

It's obvious you've never lived in any FSU country.  If you are in Moscow most foreigners are there temporarily for a year or 2. Usually teaching, working.  No girl is gonna believe that you moved permamently to Russian or Ukraine.  And what will your story be when you are there?
You can't commit to doing even a 1 week trip.   Highly doubt you would go there for longer.

I've committed to doing a one week trip four times in the past. Yes I can commit to doing longer when in the right position. I will leave it open ended in the permanency front, it will be long term so long as I please which should be enough for girls to accept that they may not necessarily feel entitled to wanting to move to the UK as I may wish to stay there however long.

[Trenchcoat]

Living there will change nothing, in terms of who you attract.

Probably right, but I would be able to see more of them and get to know them more, I would also be there under different terms as they could not demand they live with me in the west if they are unsure if I wish to live there or in FSU in the future. As a reasonably well off foreign guy I would be able to provide a decent standard of living in the FSU at least. I know Bounder seems to be doing alright in Moscow and while he is earning decent money he is hardly loaded.

Apart from the money front the only other type I could attract are those women that are more intellectual like Kyn is going for. I have two undergrad degrees and an MA along with a whole host off minor qualifications so don't come up short there An 18 year old would probably not suit me though, even for Kyn he would be waiting for her to finish Uni so a three year wait there before life even begins.

So where I might find an intellectual girl I do not know. Many girls out in the FSU do the Uni thing without being that intellectual as some do here. There are of course professional women in the FSU but I am unsure of whether they are into a relationship or just furthering their career more in the west. As we see from KYn his girl seems to be stressing the desire to get to the west as a big ambition which has to be worrying for the guy, i.e is it me she wants or immigration?

[Sting23]

I will leave it open ended in the permanency front, it will be long term so long as I please which should be enough for girls to accept that they may not necessarily feel entitled to wanting to move to the UK as I may wish to stay there however long.

Dude for a native English speaker you write quite poorly.  I don't think I could construct such a rambling sentence if I tried.

Anyways you keep harking to the immigration theme that some girls supposedly want.  Lots of Russians want to leave their country.
It's not only intellect but social acuity, grace.  You can be book smart but still come across as clumsy when you talk.

[msmob]

I have two undergrad degrees and an MA along with a whole host off minor qualifications so don't come up short there

Right..that proves it .. a UK Degree means nothing, any more((

[Trenchcoat]

Right..that proves it .. a UK Degree means nothing, any more((

You b'stard!

[msmob]

Dude for a native English speaker you write quite poorly.  I don't think I could construct such a rambling sentence if I tried.

Anyways you keep harking to the immigration theme that some girls supposedly want.  Lots of Russians want to leave their country.
It's not only intellect but social acuity, grace.  You can be book smart but still come across as clumsy when you talk.

I always thought acuity = intelligence ..'social intelligence' .....

Be careful, Stinger - lest you join the Trench club of writing 'English' in a way that says HUH ?

[Sting23]

I always thought acuity = intelligence ..'social intelligence' .....

Be careful, Stinger - lest you join the Trench club of writing 'English' in a way that says HUH ?

You totally missed the analogy.
Acuity can mean intelligence but encompasses more.  I am comparing intellect which refers to "book smarts vs street smarts, or IQ vs EQ".
Guess your English isn't up to par either eh? 

[JayH]

Right..that proves it .. a UK Degree means nothing, any more((

Wheaties packet?
The future after Brexit ---  a UK full of Trenchcoat level intellect !

[Boethius]

You totally missed the analogy.
Acuity can mean intelligence but encompasses more.  I am comparing intellect which refers to "book smarts vs street smarts, or IQ vs EQ".
Guess your English isn't up to par either eh? 

I have read the term "social acuity" used by journalists, and it always sounded strange, even misused, to me.  Acuity, I've always thought, means sharpness, or an ability to think/see/hear clearly.

Perhaps Sandro or ML will weigh in.

[Sting23]

I have read the term "social acuity" used by journalists, and it always sounded strange, even misused, to me.  Acuity, I've always thought, means sharpness, or an ability to think/see/hear clearly.

Perhaps Sandro or ML will weigh in.

It's just a word. Social acuity means how well you interact with people.  What you are thinking of is "mental acuity" which is another common phrase.  And that does refer to a sharpness of the mind.

No need to get into a kerfuffle, just grab a dictionary. 

No matter how many degrees one has if they can't interact, communicate well with others in a real life setting then it is a detriment.

 

[Boethius]

Oxford Dictionary
 
Noun - Acuity -

Sharpness or keenness of thought, vision, or hearing.

‘intellectual acuity’

‘visual acuity’

[ML]

I have read the term "social acuity" used by journalists, and it always sounded strange, even misused, to me.  Acuity, I've always thought, means sharpness, or an ability to think/see/hear clearly.

Perhaps Sandro or ML will weigh in.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/acuity

Acuity is nearly synonymous with at least one sense of sensitivity, yet, as is so often the case with closely-related words, there are subtle differences worth observing before you substitute one of these words for the other. Acuity does refer to a form of sensitivity, but it is most often applied to the perceptual senses (as in “visual acuity” or “auditory acuity”). It is also frequently used in reference to the intellect (as in “mental acuity”). Sensitivity has a broader range of meanings than acuity does, including “the capacity of being easily hurt.” It may be used of inanimate objects such as radios (“the sensitivity of the instruments was carefully calibrated”), a context in which acuity is unusual.

- - - - - -

Many, many of our English words (and probably in other languages also) are used in contexts which are far removed from the original meaning.

Best not to bicker too much about a particular word, but rather use other words and examples to get across the meaning you wish to convey.

I have been in financial meetings where 15-20 minutes or more were devoted to a couple of guys/gals arguing over some concept/event/situation, when it turned out that they weren't even talking about the same thing.  Each side was using a particular word . . . but it meant something entirely different to each side.
Best to toss in a few synonyms to the conversation, and often that clears things up.

[JayH]

I have been in financial meetings where 15-20 minutes or more were devoted to a couple of guys/gals arguing over some concept/event/situation, when it turned out that they weren't even talking about the same thing.  Each side was using a particular word . . . but it meant something entirely different to each side.
Best to toss in a few synonyms to the conversation, and often that clears things up.

You need a decent degree of mental acuity to pick that up on the run !!

[Sting23]

It's not only intellect but social acuity, grace. 

If you guys read what I wrote you will see I said "grace" also.  "Social graces" is a common phrase too. 

Everyone can stop pontificating now and get back to normal.

[Sting23]

I have been in financial meetings where 15-20 minutes or more were devoted to a couple of guys/gals arguing over some concept/event/situation, when it turned out that they weren't even talking about the same thing. 

Speaking of finances ever heard the term "financial acumen"?   Similar word to acuity but used to describe knowledge in a certain field.

[Anotherkiwi]

...I will leave it open ended in the permanency front, it will be long term so long as I please which should be enough for girls to accept that they may not necessarily feel entitled to wanting to move to the UK as I may wish to stay there however long.

Apart from the atrocious way this rambling sentence is constructed, you keep harping on about how it's up to you how long you stay.  IT ISN'T - it's up to the immigration authorities of whichever country you wish to honour with your presence.  You may get a tourist visa without too much trouble, but getting a visa to live in one of the FSU countries, even for six months, is a whole different story.  As you have absolutely no valid reason to live there (just for starters, you don't have a job, a job offer, relatives or family), and you still can't make up your mind as to which type of scamming enterprise (teacher? photographer?) you wish to pursue, I would not rate your chances particularly highly.

[Trenchcoat]

Apart from the atrocious way this rambling sentence is constructed, you keep harping on about how it's up to you how long you stay.  IT ISN'T - it's up to the immigration authorities of whichever country you wish to honour with your presence.  You may get a tourist visa without too much trouble, but getting a visa to live in one of the FSU countries, even for six months, is a whole different story.  As you have absolutely no valid reason to live there (just for starters, you don't have a job, a job offer, relatives or family), and you still can't make up your mind as to which type of scamming enterprise (teacher? photographer?) you wish to pursue, I would not rate your chances particularly highly.

As Mobe has informed us there are business visas that can be obtained for Russia for between 6-12 months, and how to go about this. End of the day I am not going to live there permanently just so long as the woman thinks I am there relatively long term so as to do away with any notion of a quick import into the UK. I would be looking for a woman that look genuinely into me, chemistry being present, etc. I see this as the best way forward. As Boethius has pointed out there are issues with this approach as to the terms the relationship is on. Essentially I am looking for a girl that is a bit easy in where she lives, the relationship, etc. A girl that takes a hard stance on how/where the relationship progresses like the last one is not likely to be a goer.

[SANDRO43]

Speaking of finances ever heard the term "financial acumen"? Similar word to acuity but used to describe knowledge in a certain field.

Both words come from Latin:

Originally from Acus = needle - i.e. a pointed object.

Hence the verb Acuere = to sharpen,
the noun Acumen = sharpness,
the noun Acuitas = sharpness, insight,
the adjective Acute = sharp, pointed.

Any word has a semantic field (a "rainbow"of contiguous, implicit meanings) that lends itself over time to new usages: e.g. Acute expanded to include angles, high musical notes, logic (penetrating), intelligence (smartness), etc. etc.

[Sting23]

As Mobe has informed us there are business visas that can be obtained for Russia for between 6-12 months, and how to go about this. End of the day I am not going to live there permanently just so long as the woman thinks I am there relatively long term so as to do away with any notion of a quick import into the UK. I would be looking for a woman that look genuinely into me, chemistry being present, etc. I see this as the best way forward. As Boethius has pointed out there are issues with this approach as to the terms the relationship is on. Essentially I am looking for a girl that is a bit easy in where she lives, the relationship, etc. A girl that takes a hard stance on how/where the relationship progresses like the last one is not likely to be a goer.

You'd better look carefully into business visas and UK.  They may be for 12 months but you can only be in the country for 3 months at a time. It's not continuous. 

First you say you can't afford to leave your job for more than a week or 2, now you want to go live there long term?  Do you have the financial means to support yourself? 

Your plan won't work at all.  Either way you will eventually have to tell the girl you are going back to the UK.  If she doesn't want to leave her country then you wasted all that time.  You need to tell her up front your intentions.  She might be into you for a day just because you are a foreigner.  Then never call you again after.  That's how fickle some of them are.

[Trenchcoat]

You'd better look carefully into business visas and UK.  They may be for 12 months but you can only be in the country for 3 months at a time. It's not continuous. 

First you say you can't afford to leave your job for more than a week or 2, now you want to go live there long term?  Do you have the financial means to support yourself? 

Your plan won't work at all.  Either way you will eventually have to tell the girl you are going back to the UK.  If she doesn't want to leave her country then you wasted all that time.  You need to tell her up front your intentions.  She might be into you for a day just because you are a foreigner.  Then never call you again after.  That's how fickle some of them are.

At the moment I cannot leave my job for more than a week or two but in a few months that will hopefully no longer be the case and I'll be in a position to live abroad a lengthy time without the need for a job.

To be honest the charade about living there long term is just going to be thrown out initially to see off any girls that are looking for an immigration mule. So it won't be a concrete, 'I'm living here forever' not even really long term but open ended so the girl will be unsure of how long, it could be a while for all she knows. So I'll be looking for a girl that seems genuinely into me/shows that interest in me. So hopefully once she gets to know me and is into me she will be open enough to moving to UK. As we all know getting into the UK is often not a straight forward matter so she will have to be committed to me in order to achieve this. The upside with the UK of course is that it is not a million miles from the European side of the FSU, so unless she is real attached to where she lives she will hopefully see it as a reasonable option. I'll just have to keep hitting on girls until I find one open enough to doing this I think.