Author Topic: Time for some Humor!! (Read 477716 times)

2tallbill · « **Reply #400 on:** November 21, 2007, 02:27:44 PM »

I stole this joke fair and square from Ak Mike

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be
told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her
husband undresses in the darkness.

He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

'My darring,' he whispers, 'I know dis you firss time and you
berry frighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do
anyting juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?' he
says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will
impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and
eagerly) for her request.

She eventually shyly whispers back, 'I Want to try someting I have heard
about from other girls... numbaa 69.'

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her... 'You want... Garlic Chicken
with corrifrowa?'

Ste · « **Reply #401 on:** November 21, 2007, 03:43:08 PM »

Quote from: 2tallbill on November 21, 2007, 01:53:31 PM

I don't know...........Ste is pretty twisted. If he thinks it's bad I am absolutely positive that it is.
I will read it if he posts it. Hopefully it doesn't warp my simple mind.

Bill

OK, here it comes, England lost at home to Croatia, out of the Euro champs, means Russia sneak in ahead. There's an 'atmosphere' here...

Right, don't say I didn't warn you...

Dad is sat at home when his six yo daughter comes running in, "dad, this pervert man got me in the woods!!"

What happened? he said

Well, first the man took off all his clothes......

Yes, yes, agitatedly, said her father...

Then he took off all mine, and, and, and....

Yes, yes, yes, dad exclaimed, what happened, I need to know....

I can't remember dad, it's all a blank......

Dad say's, masturbating furiously, "Make it up, make it up!!"

Told you it was sick, this is Ste, signing off from RWD.....

2tallbill · « **Reply #402 on:** November 21, 2007, 04:15:58 PM »

Ok, Ste I need to take a shower with two bars of soap and steel wool.

2tallbill · « **Reply #403 on:** November 21, 2007, 04:22:20 PM »

Corny Joke alert!!
Corny Joke alert!!
Corny Joke alert!!
Corny Joke alert!!
Corny Joke alert!!

You have been warned!

My friend Stuart hired an illegal from home desparate (Home Depot),
he brought the guy home and gave him two cans of paint
and told the guy "I want you to paint the porch"

an hour later the man came back and said he was done.
Stuart couldn't believe it and asked him if he was sure.
The man said jes I'm chure, I even gave it 2 coats.
Stuart couldn't believe it and asked again since he thought it
would take most of the day.

The man said jes I am chure but it wasn't a Porshe it was
a Lexis.

2tallbill · « **Reply #404 on:** November 21, 2007, 04:37:36 PM »

Optical delusion.......

2tallbill · « **Reply #405 on:** November 21, 2007, 04:45:41 PM »

Stupidity

catzenmouse · « **Reply #406 on:** November 21, 2007, 06:37:11 PM »

Quote from: 2tallbill on November 21, 2007, 04:37:36 PM

Optical delusion.......

This one is a complete crock of Chit! There is nothing in the background! And the text on that picture was so blurry I had to have my son read it to me....

2tallbill · « **Reply #407 on:** November 21, 2007, 08:57:02 PM »

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2tallbill · « **Reply #408 on:** November 21, 2007, 08:58:44 PM »

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

2tallbill · « **Reply #409 on:** November 21, 2007, 09:05:14 PM »

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2tallbill · « **Reply #410 on:** November 21, 2007, 09:07:48 PM »

Not really a Thanksgiving joke but.........

2tallbill · « **Reply #411 on:** November 23, 2007, 03:56:23 PM »

Trendy diet drinks...........

2tallbill · « **Reply #412 on:** November 23, 2007, 03:57:44 PM »

FIRST KISS

So...it's your first kiss and
several questions come
to mind:
*
*
*
*
*
*
Is it the right time?
*
*
*
*
*
*
Is anyone watching?
*
*
*
*
*
*
Does your partner even want to?
*
*
*
*
*
*
Is your breath fresh?
*
*
*
*
*
*
And...should you use some tongue?
*
*
*
*
*
*
Then you lean in and
just go for it!!!!

2tallbill · « **Reply #413 on:** November 23, 2007, 04:00:30 PM »

One of those penis enlargements that works..........

2tallbill · « **Reply #414 on:** November 23, 2007, 04:07:11 PM »

DNA research!

2tallbill · « **Reply #415 on:** November 23, 2007, 04:39:58 PM »

Baby sitting made simple, (please note this is in the joke section)

Watching kids can be a pain in the butt, I am sure especially now around the holidays
that many of you have noticed this. I was the oldest of six kids and the second toughest.
(my brother Rob was the toughest because I could never take the beatings that I gave him).

Any way being in a large family I was often given the task of watching kids that I didn't help concieve, and the only reason given to me was that I was oldest and related to them by blood.

The easiest way to watch a small child is by applying vaseline to the edges of a tub. Then put the little tike in the tub (naked) with a box of cherrios and a couple bath toys. Turn the stereo up a little. The child can't get out of the tub or make a mess, or get too hungry and best of all at the end of the day you simply rinse out the tub, no muss no fuss.

When I got older and had my own car I was still often told that yes I could go somewhere like to an outdoor barbeque or similiar but I had to bring one or more of my siblings with me

I came up with a solution that kept my car clean and free of mess.

Yes you simply roll their fingers in the window, people have often asked isn't that dangerous?
and the answer is that no, although after several hours their fingers turn a little blue and they tend to be happy to see you when you get back and even more beneficial is they don't nag as much to go with you everytime.

2tallbill · « **Reply #416 on:** November 23, 2007, 04:56:34 PM »

News Flash......
Mellisa Williamson worries that the noise from the nearby construction
could harm her unborn child.

2tallbill · « **Reply #417 on:** November 23, 2007, 05:07:33 PM »

Got to follow the law.........

2tallbill · « **Reply #418 on:** November 23, 2007, 05:16:50 PM »

I know this is an oldie.........

2tallbill · « **Reply #419 on:** November 23, 2007, 05:34:18 PM »

Free to good home...........

2tallbill · « **Reply #420 on:** November 23, 2007, 05:40:58 PM »

I showed up ready to spend $10

But they only wanted to play cards..........

2tallbill · « **Reply #421 on:** November 23, 2007, 05:45:50 PM »

little Billy was an adventuresome lad......and when he
grew up he didn't think that Flying 11 time zones to
find true love would be any different.............
Afterall what could possibly go wrong?

2tallbill · « **Reply #422 on:** November 23, 2007, 05:50:01 PM »

as Little Billy grew up sometimes he didn't take potential problems
into account after all what could possibly go wrong?

2tallbill · « **Reply #423 on:** November 23, 2007, 06:29:23 PM »

Hopefully this is a joke...............

2tallbill · « **Reply #424 on:** November 24, 2007, 07:37:30 PM »

Baby sitting made simple part Dva,

(please note this is in the joke section)

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Author Topic: Time for some Humor!! (Read 477716 times)

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