Author Topic: Time for some Humor!! (Read 475907 times)

2tallbill · « **Reply #950 on:** December 21, 2008, 10:59:22 PM »

Mostly airline jokes,

You can blame Delta for canceling my flight Friday

2tallbill · « **Reply #951 on:** December 21, 2008, 11:46:59 PM »

There is a reason most artists will not let their models
see their work before it is finished.

GoodOlBoy · « **Reply #952 on:** December 23, 2008, 02:46:31 PM »

When the man first noticed that his "member" was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist.

While his wife waited outside, the physician examined him and explained that his rare condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient's wife anxiously rushed up to the doctor after the examination and was told of the diagnosis and the need for surgery.

"How long will he be on crutches?" she asked. "Crutches???" the doctor asked "Well, yes," the woman said "You are going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?"

Vaughn · « **Reply #953 on:** December 30, 2008, 07:28:25 PM »

Ridersfan · « **Reply #954 on:** January 12, 2009, 12:07:13 AM »

In Canada on History T.V. there is a show called Criminal Mastermind. I don't think this guys story will ever be featured.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/090109/koddities/oddity_masked_robber

But he probably is a genius compared to this guy:

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/090107/odds/odd_us_burglar_sex_odd

Shadow · « **Reply #955 on:** January 12, 2009, 03:09:22 AM »

Quote from: Ridersfan on January 12, 2009, 12:07:13 AM

In Canada on History T.V. there is a show called Criminal Mastermind. I don't think this guys story will ever be featured.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/090109/koddities/oddity_masked_robber

But he probably is a genius compared to this guy:

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/090107/odds/odd_us_burglar_sex_odd

They are both intellectuals compared to a story hitting the Dutch news of a bankrobber writing 'I want money' on the back of a letter with his full addres...

acrzybear · « **Reply #956 on:** January 15, 2009, 07:38:15 PM »

A friend sent me a really good website-enjoy; http://drunkfriends.com/quickies/freesex.html

Simoni · « **Reply #957 on:** January 17, 2009, 07:41:56 PM »

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

ConnerVT · « **Reply #958 on:** January 22, 2009, 07:03:53 AM »

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?

''Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!' Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'

I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy! '

Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

'No,' I said.

He looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even care?'

OlgaH · « **Reply #959 on:** January 25, 2009, 06:53:38 AM »

YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE!

We need more people like this....
Posted to Craig's List Personals:

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
Reply to: pers-982078099@craigslist.org <mailto:pers-982078099@craigslist.org> [ ? <http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/replying_to_posts> ]
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST
I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very i ntimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

2tallbill · « **Reply #960 on:** February 08, 2009, 06:03:25 PM »

What would women look like if men could tell them what to wear.

2tallbill · « **Reply #961 on:** February 08, 2009, 06:04:09 PM »

Tell me you don't want to buy a vowel from Time to time

2tallbill · « **Reply #962 on:** February 08, 2009, 06:06:27 PM »

My ex wife's Lawyer sent me a Christmas card.
(she's holding a turnip

)

2tallbill · « **Reply #963 on:** February 08, 2009, 06:08:02 PM »

2tallbill · « **Reply #964 on:** February 08, 2009, 06:12:58 PM »

Sorry there is not enough beer dude

Vaughn · « **Reply #965 on:** February 08, 2009, 06:16:07 PM »

Glad to see you're back, Bill. I've been saving this one just for you...

2tallbill · « **Reply #966 on:** February 09, 2009, 03:28:39 PM »

Quote from: Vaughn on February 08, 2009, 06:16:07 PM

Glad to see you're back, Bill. I've been saving this one just for you...

Thanks Vaughn,

LEGAL · « **Reply #967 on:** February 12, 2009, 07:53:29 PM »

When someone steals your Kodak moment...

LEGAL · « **Reply #968 on:** February 12, 2009, 07:54:44 PM »

When someone steals your Kodak moment (2)...

Vaughn · « **Reply #969 on:** February 12, 2009, 08:24:53 PM »

Payload management..

2tallbill · « **Reply #970 on:** February 14, 2009, 06:03:33 PM »

*********Warning Warning Unsavory, possibly offensive joke Alert Warning Warning *********

*********Warning Warning Unsavory, possibly offensive joke Alert Warning Warning *********

*********Warning Warning Unsavory, possibly offensive joke Alert Warning Warning *********

Just skip to the next joke if you are easily offended !!!!!

2tallbill · « **Reply #971 on:** February 14, 2009, 06:08:47 PM »

*********Warning Warning Unsavory, possibly offensive joke Alert Warning Warning *********

*********Warning Warning Unsavory, possibly offensive joke Alert Warning Warning *********

*********Warning Warning Unsavory, possibly offensive joke Alert Warning Warning *********

Just skip to the next joke if you are easily offended !!!!!

2tallbill · « **Reply #972 on:** February 15, 2009, 01:35:19 PM »

jokes

ConnerVT · « **Reply #973 on:** February 19, 2009, 11:46:57 AM »

A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America." The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America!" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East. I am not American."

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says, "No, I am from Africa."

Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."

OlgaH · « **Reply #974 on:** February 24, 2009, 04:46:21 PM »

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial; he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.
When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the
Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade.
"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.
You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career"

RWD Information	RWD Projects	RWD E-Book	Anti-Scam Tools	Shopping Mall
RWD Site Vision	RWDpedia	Men of the West - Women From the East	RWD Ten Commandments	RWD Links
RWD Terms of Service	RWD FAQ's		Scammer Score Card	RWD Storefront
RWD Privacy Policy	Cross-Cultural Marriage Statistics		Agency Score Card	Reading Resources
RWD Newsletter	Agency Code of Ethics (ACoE)		Scammer Lists	FSU Lodging
Banners	Men's Code of Conduct

News:

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Author Topic: Time for some Humor!! (Read 475907 times)

RWD Stats

Recent Posts