Russian Women Discussion

RWD Discussion Groups => Experienced => Topic started by: Trenchcoat on October 30, 2018, 10:02:36 AM

Title: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on October 30, 2018, 10:02:36 AM
So carrying this on from where I left off from the EU thraed in 'Odds & Ends'. I've found that Belarusian people have a more work orientated mindset (similar to Polish) than Ukrainian people where they start at in life. I don't mean Ukrainian people are lazy or don't work hard, many I know work long hours.

I mean that if you were to go to a bar or restaurant or similar in Ukraine chances are you could talk to them quite easily if you wanted to, not necessarily in terms of befriending them but in terms of being able to casually chat.

In Belarus I tend to find people seem more work focused, they tend to be more formal, particularly if at work at very much too the job.


Now I know many people may not find that a negative, some guys are looking for a girl that wants to work and is work orientated - and the opposite of a girl that just wants to lounge around is a undesirable and economic burden for them to endure. Belarussian people to my mind during a recent weekend visit seemed a lot more straight up than Ukrainian. Of course their until recent expose to western guys has been fairly limited because of all the awkward restrictions on visiting, until of recent. I don't deny that Belarussian women looking for a WM will still have their own agenda, generally but I think a lot of the 'dating industry' we know it from Ukraine is not present.

This should have been a big plus and it could be, but I also think that it acts as a minus as they are not socialised into dating WM and getting with them like Ukraine has become. I also think that because of this many may not wish to move abroad with a WM but want them to move to Belarus. Minsk/Belarus is not a bad country but its relative isolation has led to a failing economy and some people are starving.

For me, yes I can work hard and at times do and I do generally work. However, I also have a relaxed nature also and I feel that someone with a 'at work' all the time mentality might not be a good match for me. So surprisingly I actually wonder if Ukrainain girls who tend to come more with a insincere risk amoung their number might be more suitable for me. I find that a lot of their charater can go quite well with mine - you don't need to talk to them loads, they are easy going & up for relaxing & time off, they also tart themselves up a fair bit and like to pose it up, though some a bit too much, lol.

Belarussian girls on the other hand do seem to like to wear nice short tight skirts :D but most seem to have a formal 'at work' way about them - i.e its all work talk/work relevant/business like. I wonder if I got with someone like this they might view me as not work orientated enough/not doing enough work, even if I did a standard week & a bit of other stuff. I get the impression they would be push, push to get in all the hours/money feasible and that for me could be a pain. Any thoughts?     
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on October 30, 2018, 10:48:46 AM
I assume you are aware of the law in Belarus, that if you work less than a certain amount you go to prison!
this may have some influence on social behavior!
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on October 30, 2018, 11:43:58 AM
I assume you are aware of the law in Belarus, that if you work less than a certain amount you go to prison!
this may have some influence on social behavior!

Nope :o That will explain that one then and is truely shocking. Explains why many were work minded as if that were on the cards you wouldn't want to be losing your job! Never ceases to amaze me the stuff that comes out in this search. Girl I met did tell me that the President  (Lucashenko) 'we don't talk about him'. I guess in  case we were overheard. Not that we were talking loudly or anyone particularly close. So I think a fair bit of the old state of repression still exists at least in the mind and no doubt for the odd few unfortunates in person. In general people seemed to go about their business in a content manner though. I'm guessing the 'at work' mentality becomes ingrained in them so I'm not sure if it would likely disperse much if a Belarus girl went to live in the UK. Kind of explains why the girl I met seemed to be working so much and not getting around the usual areas much - she hadn't visited the Minsk Gorky Park (not as good as the one in Moscow but still quite nice) in years despite being their a fair number of years nor was familiar with the area I was staying in despite it being just off Victory Park.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 01, 2018, 07:54:12 AM
Got to admit I'm kind of on the fence on this one at the moment. I kind of like the slut style of a lot of Ukrainian girls :) but I'm wary of the sincerity of the Ukrainian International dating scene and a fair amount of the girls within it. Belarussian girls tend not to have the slut mentality of many Ukrainian girls but often wear nice short skirts :) now they seem to be more sincere/less playing around though like said no doubt have their own agenda for seeking a WM and I'm not sure if out of Belarus they would relax a bit on their 'at work' persona. So where to place my bet? Ukraine or Belarus?
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Donna_Pedro on November 01, 2018, 08:08:18 AM
I kind of like the slut style of a lot of Ukrainian girls :)  So where to place my bet? Ukraine or Belarus?


HAve you thought about how this kind of style and behavoir is going to look like  in the US? ESpecially is a small town environment? Because its not going to change, at least not for a while.


Start looking in more civilized areas in Russia.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 01, 2018, 08:18:30 AM
Trench
success is wherever you find it

I can't speak too much about Belarus
only been to Minsk, but it was many years ago
did notice LOTS of beautiful wimmin
more blondes on average than Ukraine

either place will do fine
my personal preference is Ukraine

you're lucky Trench!
geography favors YOU over those overpaid and oversexed Yanks
from Heathrow to Borispol is 3 1/2 hours
you can easily spend a weekend there
my first flight to Borispol took 19 1/2 hr from San Francisco International
a long weekend in Ukraine was out of the question
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 01, 2018, 08:31:28 AM
"Start looking in more civilized areas in Russia"

where would that be, pray tell, this "civilized" area you speak of?
does it center on the block of apartments you grew up in?
you think there are no "bad girls" in Moscow or St Pete?
I read an article a few months ago that states that the major producer of porn for global online porn  sites
are Russian teenagers many of whom dwell within the major cities you refer to as civilized
also, ever seen the backpage ads in some of the newspapers in Moscow, girls advertising themselves?
this is different from Ukraine, only in the fact that Russia and NOT Ukraine
is your Rodina
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 01, 2018, 09:02:25 AM

HAve you thought about how this kind of style and behavoir is going to look like  in the US?

Or even southern England, United Kingdom ? ;)


ESpecially is a small town environment? Because its not going to change, at least not for a while.

Trenchie doesn't WANT it to change, just doesn't want her to look at other guys !

Start looking in more civilized areas in Russia.

He won't buy the Visa and now he can get free BY ones reckons he knows BY women  :ROFL:

There won't be many 'short skirts' on view, soon, given it's Winter in the northen hemisphere, Trenchie...

Please keep up with you 'ANALysis' of FSU W .... really funny given the 'accuracy'..

Right now it's still beach weather in Sochi and the 'sluts' ( Trench's description for a youngish, attractive FSU W  who can still wear summer clothes / bikini ) will be on the beaches ....   :cluebat:



Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Donna_Pedro on November 01, 2018, 09:12:37 AM
Got to admit I'm kind of on the fence on this one at the moment. I kind of like the slut style of a lot of Ukrainian girls :) but I'm wary of the sincerity of the Ukrainian International dating scene and a fair amount of the girls within it. Belarussian girls tend not to have the slut mentality of many Ukrainian girls but often wear nice short skirts :) now they seem to be more sincere/less playing around though like said no doubt have their own agenda for seeking a WM and I'm not sure if out of Belarus they would relax a bit on their 'at work' persona. So where to place my bet? Ukraine or Belarus?


Every now and then I am being pulled into various RW socials. These days they are more like UW socials. These young women dressed in that slut style make latino girls look like church ladies. It stands out even in a big city like Houston. And on a number of occasions I have been approached by AM - husbands, asking me to somehow convince their wives to tone it  down a little bit. They were complaining that they can not  introduce them to co-workers and family members. What looked OK in those  Ukrainian towns,  looks quite  scandalous here.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: GQBlues on November 01, 2018, 09:23:53 AM

Every now and then I am being pulled into various RW socials. These days they are more like UW socials. These young women dressed in that slut style make latino girls look like church ladies. It stands out even in a big city like Houston. And on a number of occasions I have been approached by AM - husbands, asking me to somehow convince their wives to tone it  down a little bit. They were complaining that they can not  introduce them to co-workers and family members. What looked OK in those  Ukrainian towns,  looks quite  scandalous here.

I think that has more to do with how 'fresh-off-the-boat' people dress when they first arrived to a new country. I don't believe it's inherent to the country they come from. As a kid when I first arrived in the US, I donned the classic '70s look, LOL. Bell bottom jeans with elevator shoes. Stretchy long sleeve shirt with the top 3 buttons open and a 20" necklace swinging around and long haired...

Cleaned that right up since my stepdad, who was a military man, wasn't too excited about that 'look'. So I cleaned it right up...though happily didn't lose the benefit of being a 'slut'. Fun times...

 :P
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Donna_Pedro on November 01, 2018, 09:29:09 AM
I think that has more to do with how 'fresh-off-the-boat' people dress when they first arrived to a new country. I don't believe it's inherent to the country they come from.
 :P


And all those latinas living here? Born here? Cultural differences exist. 
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: GQBlues on November 01, 2018, 09:43:44 AM
And all those latinas living here? Born here? Cultural differences exist.

In the US, I maintain the same. There's a distinct difference between 'Chicanas' from the 'nuevo latinas'. US-born south American ladies are far more kept and discreet, almost conservative in the way they dress than otherwise.

Heck, FWIW, I still remember the 'Madonna' trend looks the natives were fond of wearing..then the Baywatch (bubble-headed, bleached blondes with diving cleavages wearing those 'come-f#@k-me-shoes) craze came around, oh boy!
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: DaveNY on November 01, 2018, 11:38:08 AM

Every now and then I am being pulled into various RW socials. These days they are more like UW socials. These young women dressed in that slut style make latino girls look like church ladies. It stands out even in a big city like Houston. And on a number of occasions I have been approached by AM - husbands, asking me to somehow convince their wives to tone it  down a little bit. They were complaining that they can not  introduce them to co-workers and family members. What looked OK in those  Ukrainian towns,  looks quite  scandalous here.

My wife says it's the fault of music videos and fashion articles on stars such as Jlo, Britney Spears and others, most of whom I've never heard of. I've see some Russian language music and movie videos where the women are dressed provocatively, don't know about Ukrainian videos.

Our daughters are 9 and getting to the age where they want to decide what to buy and wear. My wife allows them some discretion but when they point out something she doesn't like she tells them no and why the outfit is inappropriate.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 01, 2018, 11:51:23 AM

Every now and then I am being pulled into various RW socials. These days they are more like UW socials. These young women dressed in that slut style make latino girls look like church ladies. It stands out even in a big city like Houston. And on a number of occasions I have been approached by AM - husbands, asking me to somehow convince their wives to tone it  down a little bit. They were complaining that they can not  introduce them to co-workers and family members. What looked OK in those  Ukrainian towns,  looks quite  scandalous here.

Not so in the UK where I live, anywhere in the UK is pretty at ease with whatever these days. There's a general ethos I think that has spread over the last decade or two where people are seen as being of all sorts so that any type of person/dress is seen as commonplace. Though of course this does not mean antagonism between different racial/political/cultural groups is not present, there can be but I think not ax much as in the US at present.

Occasionally I see some pretty weird scenes/people but I make no open comment in public and nearly all Brits do likewise. Most strange people/scenes have become almost everyday but there are still the odd peculiar happenings that surprise me.

Girls dress all sorts here. The prettier girls will either dress neatly, slutty or a combination of both. Worse is if they wear boring, mundane stuff that does nothing to flatter their figure. Though I tend to find pretty girls with a good figure more often than not tend to want to flaunt it :) They are in high demand though and they know it. Not enough of them and too many unattractive and/or overweight women.

In general though if I brought a girl back to the UK that was dressed slutty it would be seen as admirable by many with only a few indifferent or disliking it. So I wouldn't have any problems at all with a girl dressing slutty, if anything I would be encouraging her to do so and enjoying every moment of it :D
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 01, 2018, 12:04:19 PM
Or even southern England, United Kingdom ? ;)


Trenchie doesn't WANT it to change, just doesn't want her to look at other guys !

He won't buy the Visa and now he can get free BY ones reckons he knows BY women  :ROFL:

There won't be many 'short skirts' on view, soon, given it's Winter in the northen hemisphere, Trenchie...

Please keep up with you 'ANALysis' of FSU W .... really funny given the 'accuracy'..

Right now it's still beach weather in Sochi and the 'sluts' ( Trench's description for a youngish, attractive FSU W  who can still wear summer clothes / bikini ) will be on the beaches ....   :cluebat:

Sochi definitely has its appeal with the weather. However it only has a bit under 400,000 citizens. Minsk has 1.9 Million & Kiev 2.8 Million. Thd most if course is Moscow with near 12 million citizens.

I'm intending to use ML's strategy this time around so Sochi looks like I might struggle to find 1000 single women without kids to apply to. Moscow would be best in terms of numbers of course, but aside from visa issues, greater expense, etc I kind of wonder if the more slutty Ukrainian girls suit me more. From my visit their I kind of got the impression that the women there are more everyday and I'm not sure if I could bounce of that.

I also kind of prefer direct flights, less messing about so Sochi is no doubt at least one transfer each way which can add bother to it all. That said I've also considered paying for girls to travel to me in Kiev by train just for one meet to spread my net further as train travel is quite cheap out there.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Donna_Pedro on November 01, 2018, 12:06:21 PM
My wife says it's the fault of music videos and fashion articles on stars such as Jlo, Britney Spears and others, most of whom I've never heard of. I've see some Russian language music and movie videos where the women are dressed provocatively, don't know about Ukrainian videos.



And this is true. This used to be the case in Moscow as well back in early  1990s..and then people started travelling the world  and situation  changed. Now Moscow looks the same as any european capital ( in regards to fasion),  women dressed like Britney Spears etc. stand out and easily reecognized as  visitors from other parts of Russia or Ukrain. Also to each his own. There are women for all social levels.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: SteveInBoston on November 01, 2018, 03:15:59 PM
So, back to the original question:

Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?

Yes.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 01, 2018, 03:28:37 PM
So, back to the original question:

Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?

Yes.

In what way though Steve? Should their mindset be complimentary or should it be different? Someone's other thinking mind to bounce off perhaps.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: GQBlues on November 01, 2018, 03:52:50 PM
A person's 'mindset' is an acquired product of their recent experiences and environment. An individual may possess a certain mindset in one location but could change if placed in a different (new) locale condition, faculties or circumstances.

In short, the chances are fairly high that the mindset of the native femmes which you abhor could well shape that imported lass to be no different in a relatively short time upon her arrival.

At the same time however, differences in people have a potential to become a better match when those differences are complimentary for both. The Yin/Yang philosophy. Opposites attract. Both of you become 'grounded'.

One thing is for certain, your personal checklist will forever keep you from finding what it is you seek because of perceived inadequacies in people you chase born by your misguided sense of superiority you see of yourself.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: DaveNY on November 01, 2018, 04:36:07 PM

And this is true. This used to be the case in Moscow as well back in early  1990s..and then people started travelling the world  and situation  changed. Now Moscow looks the same as any european capital ( in regards to fasion),  women dressed like Britney Spears etc. stand out and easily reecognized as  visitors from other parts of Russia or Ukrain. Also to each his own. There are women for all social levels.

Today in Moscow and St. Pete most young women who can afford it and love to shop have been to some place in Europe like Paris or Rome or London or Geneva (probably more expensive than London, Paris or Rome), etc.

While in Europe they buy something like dresses, shoes (my wife had over 25 pairs in Moscow, well over double that now) from a shop. Keep the shopping bags and use in Moscow.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: SteveInBoston on November 01, 2018, 04:37:04 PM
In what way though Steve? Should their mindset be complimentary or should it be different? Someone's other thinking mind to bounce off perhaps.

Yes.

Keep asking yourself - what is important to you?  When you figure that out, then start searching.

Or just bumble around trying to find hot girls to go out with you.  If it works, there you go.  It's better odds than the recent lottery craze.  How much better?  Hmm.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: BillyB on November 01, 2018, 05:54:03 PM
Moscow would be best in terms of numbers of course,


Big cities have more women but you'll also have more competition to beat because more men live there too.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 01, 2018, 09:06:57 PM
Sochi definitely has its appeal with the weather. However it only has a bit under 400,000 citizens. Minsk has 1.9 Million & Kiev 2.8 Million. Thd most if course is Moscow with near 12 million citizens.

Oh dear, I 'forgot' - you've been there so you'd 'know'  ;)

Locals know that official figures are nonsense - many folks do not bother to register their presence

The 'official' figure in 2017 for Greater Sochi was over half a million

http://maks-portal.ru/obshchestvo-sochi/oficialno-naselenie-sochi-perevalilo-za-500-tysyach (http://maks-portal.ru/obshchestvo-sochi/oficialno-naselenie-sochi-perevalilo-za-500-tysyach)

It may be closer to 600-700K


I'm intending to use ML's strategy this time around so Sochi looks like I might struggle to find 1000 single women without kids to apply to.

I'm sure the poor ladies of Sochi will be sorry to read this..

Moscow would be best in terms of numbers of course, but aside from visa issues, greater expense, etc I kind of wonder if the more slutty Ukrainian girls suit me more. From my visit their I kind of got the impression that the women there are more everyday and I'm not sure if I could bounce of that.

'Visa issues'?  You mean the book of questions you have to fill in to apply as a Brit - as opposed to being an EU citizen ? ..or that you must pay for it ? ;)

Despite what some Russians might suggest here - the people - on a beach front or walking the street's on a Summer's day in Sochi - will look no different than -say - Odessa


I also kind of prefer direct flights, less messing about so Sochi is no doubt at least one transfer each way which can add bother to it all. That said I've also considered paying for girls to travel to me in Kiev by train just for one meet to spread my net further as train travel is quite cheap out there.

Then you are doomed to failure...

Can you fly direct to Odessa from London ? ...

I gave you the example of my Russian wife having men offer to fly her to Moscow - from Siberia - on trips that were clearly WM.. She considered such "men stupid and clearly not serious"

Are you that "stupid"?

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 02, 2018, 11:54:46 AM

I gave you the example of my Russian wife having men offer to fly her to Moscow - from Siberia - on trips that were clearly WM.. She considered such "men stupid and clearly not serious"

Are you that "stupid"?

Yes :D This is an area where on messaging wit a girl once I managed to pull of a rare stoke of social genius like BillyB often seems to do.

I was discussing going to Odessa with the girl O went to meet in Nikolaev which as you know when I met her a couple of summers ago didn't work out. Well at any rate I was suggesting during messaging that she come to Odessa (this would have saved me a journey). She was dead set against this saying that a real man would come meet her - that was until I stated how far I would have to travel and the time, expense and bother for me to just travel to Odessa. Hence it was only fair that she meet me half way (not literally of course). After explaining it to her like that she saw reason in what I was saying and started to come around to meeting me in Odessa. We agreed to wait until nearer the time when I would finalise my travel plans and fully decide then. As it turned out I decided in the end that I would like to travel to Nikolaev to see what it was like partly as no girls in Odessa had come forward. That way I could holiday in both cities for a break. Point was though from someone who was staunchly against going to another FSU city to meet a guy I had talked her around and she would have gone had I asked.

As you no doubt know FSW are very difficult in changing their mind once made up. It's almost like a difficult game to do so requiring a lot of skill or more probably in my case luck, lol.

On other stuff I have tried to change a FSW mind and failed miserably so it is not an easy task.

Some women may not go, but if I concern myself about the Woman's game I fail. I need to concern myself with my side of the game and what I want not what appeases the woman. My reasoning if a girl is interested enough and the logic of it has been explained to her, she'll come.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Boethius on November 02, 2018, 12:33:06 PM

Every now and then I am being pulled into various RW socials. These days they are more like UW socials. These young women dressed in that slut style make latino girls look like church ladies. It stands out even in a big city like Houston. And on a number of occasions I have been approached by AM - husbands, asking me to somehow convince their wives to tone it  down a little bit. They were complaining that they can not  introduce them to co-workers and family members. What looked OK in those  Ukrainian towns,  looks quite  scandalous here.

It’s flower-bee. Now the bee wants to change the rules, and hasn’t got the cojones to do so himself.

Don’t kid yourself. I’ve seen RW here also dressed that way. Our kids call it “FOB”.

My better half is probably around your age. He said UW always dressed provocatively. He said women in Moscow did as well, but as a larger city, there was more variation. He said it was always most evident in the subway. He also lived in Leningrad for 5 years. He said women there didn’t dress provocatively. His theory is that it was because Leningrad was a very proletarian city. He said you could often see “proletarian chic” (митьки).
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 02, 2018, 12:47:37 PM
my experience has been that the difference between a Russian and Ukrainian woman
is a Russian woman will say "Gamburger"
and a Ukrainian woman will say "Hamburger"
otherwise I would not know which is which without asking them...
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 02, 2018, 12:51:07 PM
 :welcome: back, Boethius

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: DaveNY on November 02, 2018, 01:09:53 PM
It’s flower-bee. Now the bee wants to change the rules, and hasn’t got the cojones to do so himself.

Don’t kid yourself. I’ve seen RW here also dressed that way. Our kids call it “FOB”.

My better half is probably around your age. He said UW always dressed provocatively. He said women in Moscow did as well, but as a larger city, there was more variation. He said it was always most evident in the subway. He also lived in Leningrad for 5 years. He said women there didn’t dress provocatively. His theory is that it was because Leningrad was a very proletarian city. He said you could often see “proletarian chic” (I recognize that sounds like an oxymoron).

Boethius, in regard to your better half's comments I'm assuming you're talking prior to the fall of the wall since you're using Leningrad instead of St. Petersburg. However IMO it was also true in the late 90s and early 2000s.

IMO, in the late 90s and 2000s Moscow women had more information about western fashion. Far more westerners visited Moscow than StP. Far more information about the west flowed into Moscow than StP. The Russians that most likely could afford to travel to the west were more likely to be from Moscow than from StP.

Today that's true however to a much less extent. Someone from StP can take a ferry to Finland or Sweden or a train to the EU. Of course the Internet has opened up Russia to the west. Moscow still rules as the financial capital and most visited city in Russia.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 02, 2018, 02:03:38 PM
BO,
 St. Petersburg girls have their own unique fashion style, different from any other in Russia or Ukraine
to me it'd be like if Russia was the European Union
girls from  St. Petersburg would be the French girls

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 02, 2018, 02:47:24 PM
BO,
 St. Petersburg girls have their own unique fashion style, different from any other in Russia or Ukraine
to me it'd be like if Russia was the European Union
girls from  St. Petersburg would be the French girls

Online I found a website that said St.Petersburg girls where skirts, dresses, tights & high heels. Whereas Moscow women where jeans & trousers  and more flat shoes, etc. Only been to Moscow, during warm weather in the summer, my impression was what the woman weared varied. So I couldn't really say anything won out as a specific Moscow style of dress for women from what I could see.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: 2tallbill on November 02, 2018, 03:54:03 PM

HAve you thought about how this kind of style and behavoir is going to look like  in the US? ESpecially is a small town environment? Because its not going to change, at least not for a while.


Start looking in more civilized areas in Russia.

He's from the UK who have entire classes of people who look down their noses professionally.

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: 2tallbill on November 02, 2018, 03:56:35 PM
my experience has been that the difference between a Russian and Ukrainian woman
is a Russian woman will say "Gamburger"
and a Ukrainian woman will say "Hamburger"
otherwise I would not know which is which without asking them...

That is sooooooooooo True!!   :D
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 03, 2018, 01:56:22 AM
That is sooooooooooo True!!   :D

))  Except it AIN'T

Try THAT rule in - say - Rostov = and you'll fall flat on your face !
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 03, 2018, 12:42:25 PM
Ok, well anyway I would like to explain to the forum the type of slut I am interested in, since I tend to find they come in different types.

I'm not really into the rough or scruffy sort of slut. So no large tattoos, uncouthness, badly bleached blondes, untidy/scruffy clothes, cheap looking.

I'm really more into neat/tidy looking sluts. Girls who take care of their looks and who are kind of girly types, dolly birds to coin the old phrase I guess. Ukraine I find has quite a lot of these but also some of the rougher looking types that Im not really into. Belarus meanwhile seems to err on the more neater sort of girl and not so much the slutty side. While I find Polish girls tend to be neater still with just a slight bit of slut about them.

So my hang up is still between Ukraine & Belarus.

Sochi is probably out, I don't think there is the motive for many women to look for a WM there unless pregnant or of older years. St. Petersburg I want to go too but I don't want to do it on a WM since I would have the distraction of tourism. Moscow I'm ok on but I think Ukrainian girls are a better fit, maybe even Belarusian girls. I don't think that Russian girls, exceptions aside have the slutty/tarty type of girl I like that Ukraine seems to have.

Ukraine I know more of the culture, Belarus culture is new to me. I get the impression when in Belarus they still have a big thing over WWII and the atrocities the Nazi's inflicted upon them. They don't seem to view it the same as us UK & US folks do. We tend to see it as a great adversial confrontation. They seem to see it as a massacre of their people which of course it was. They were on the brunt of it all and the event still seems to be much on their mind even to this day. When I was there the Belarusian TV was showing a film depicting such WWII masacres of their folk. This was on their Victory day which they hold each year. There are several visably notable monuments to the war & of couse Victory Park.

In Ukraine I guess western Ukraine has a bit of this with the resistance around Lviv, but I would say in Belarus it's a lot more, almost as if time has stood still. I get the impression it's a subject on which to tread carefully with girls out there. I also have a question mark over how likely girls are likely to want to move abroad out there. The economy is much in the same boat as Ukraine after years of isolation from the west Lucashenko has opened the place up to western tourism to try and revive the economy. When I was looking around there, there was a whole mock traditional building shopping area just finishing off being built for tourists. It actually looked rather good though of course none of it original.

My thought at this moment is that as much as I liked Minsk/Belarus, Kiev/Ukraine might better suit my task. I just think the mindset might just be closer to what would fit with me.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 03, 2018, 02:27:24 PM
Further thinking about the 'at work' mindset I am kind of thinking that as the saying goes 'too much work and no play make Jack (or whoever) a dull boy'. I'm kind of thinking that I may struggle to find stuff to socialise with these Belarus girls on. They seem to stay at work more than Ukrainian girls. One girl I was communicating too actually missed a Skype session because work task overran by several hours. I didn't bother getting back to her at the time since I thought she couldn't be bothered enough, now I feel a bit bad about it knowing that work basically encompasses there entire lives.

This in itself may hinder getting a load of girls up for a visit many. Difficult to say, some may be fine on messaging and a quick meet up so long ax work doesn't intervene. One girl I messaged seemed to prioritise messages to those most important in her life.

The girl I met seemed to spend long hours at work, even the social stuff she did get to was after work do with mostly those from work. She even told me in a message that she doesn't get time to see her family much at all so it would make little difference if she lived abroad - to which I hesitate from laughing at the irony of it as it kind of sad.

Belarus is an orderly society but I think simmering under the surface but no daring to be seen is a simmering discontent as to the bad way of things for many in its society. Some are more middle class and reasonably comfortable but I think they all feel it. Some are poor to thd point of starvation apparently though I saw no obvious signs (not that I was likely to in the city centre of course. I think some think there may be an upheaval soon if things don't change, next year perhaps, others perhaps waiting for the old man to pass on.

So I'm thinking Kiev/Ukraine - the some what more chaotic society may be my best bet. Either country could collapse overnight next year or year after, who knows but I'm thinking their women are probably closest in mindset for me. Many work long hours and appreciate the opportunity to work less, I know their mindset more. They do tend to be persuaded more by money, Belarus meanwhile seem to be very much about the physical - looking in shape, commitment to sport, etc both expected of the girl & the guy. I think though all in all Ukrainian girls are more pedestrian and everyday, easy to be with and as a generality not too extreme on mindset.

The only thing I do find challenging about their mindset is the rigidness & stubbornness, but I think that is true for Belarusian girls also from the little I have seen off them. I find Ukrainian girls often quite carefree to be around and I think  a goid all rounder. So I think I'll give the next crack at this next year to a meet many in Kiev/Ukraine :)
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: pitbull on November 03, 2018, 06:05:08 PM
Further thinking about the 'at work' mindset I am kind of thinking that as the saying goes 'too much work and no play make Jack (or whoever) a dull boy'. I'm kind of thinking that I may struggle to find stuff to socialise with these Belarus girls on. They seem to stay at work more than Ukrainian girls. One girl I was communicating too actually missed a Skype session because work task overran by several hours. I didn't bother getting back to her at the time since I thought she couldn't be bothered enough, now I feel a bit bad about it knowing that work basically encompasses there entire lives.

This in itself may hinder getting a load of girls up for a visit many. Difficult to say, some may be fine on messaging and a quick meet up so long ax work doesn't intervene. One girl I messaged seemed to prioritise messages to those most important in her life.

The girl I met seemed to spend long hours at work, even the social stuff she did get to was after work do with mostly those from work. She even told me in a message that she doesn't get time to see her family much at all so it would make little difference if she lived abroad - to which I hesitate from laughing at the irony of it as it kind of sad.

Belarus is an orderly society but I think simmering under the surface but no daring to be seen is a simmering discontent as to the bad way of things for many in its society. Some are more middle class and reasonably comfortable but I think they all feel it. Some are poor to thd point of starvation apparently though I saw no obvious signs (not that I was likely to in the city centre of course. I think some think there may be an upheaval soon if things don't change, next year perhaps, others perhaps waiting for the old man to pass on.

So I'm thinking Kiev/Ukraine - the some what more chaotic society may be my best bet. Either country could collapse overnight next year or year after, who knows but I'm thinking their women are probably closest in mindset for me. Many work long hours and appreciate the opportunity to work less, I know their mindset more. They do tend to be persuaded more by money, Belarus meanwhile seem to be very much about the physical - looking in shape, commitment to sport, etc both expected of the girl & the guy. I think though all in all Ukrainian girls are more pedestrian and everyday, easy to be with and as a generality not too extreme on mindset.

The only thing I do find challenging about their mindset is the rigidness & stubbornness, but I think that is true for Belarusian girls also from the little I have seen off them. I find Ukrainian girls often quite carefree to be around and I think  a goid all rounder. So I think I'll give the next crack at this next year to a meet many in Kiev/Ukraine :)

I am curious where you got this whole people starving in Belarus thing? The average salary is higher than Ukraine
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: SteveInBoston on November 03, 2018, 07:07:39 PM
Ok, well anyway I would like to explain to the forum the type of slut I am interested in, since I tend to find they come in different types.

I'm not really into the rough or scruffy sort of slut. So no large tattoos, uncouthness, badly bleached blondes, untidy/scruffy clothes, cheap looking.

I'm really more into neat/tidy looking sluts. Girls who take care of their looks and who are kind of girly types, dolly birds to coin the old phrase I guess. Ukraine I find has quite a lot of these but also some of the rougher looking types that Im not really into. Belarus meanwhile seems to err on the more neater sort of girl and not so much the slutty side. While I find Polish girls tend to be neater still with just a slight bit of slut about them.


And I wonder why you're still single, such an eloquent and charming young man that you are...

I recommend focusing less on your potential partner's mindset and work a bit more on your own.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: siberia on November 03, 2018, 07:40:06 PM
Ok, well anyway I would like to explain to the forum the type of slut I am interested in, since I tend to find they come in different types.

I'm not really into the rough or scruffy sort of slut. So no large tattoos, uncouthness, badly bleached blondes, untidy/scruffy clothes, cheap looking.

I'm really more into neat/tidy looking sluts. Girls who take care of their looks and who are kind of girly types, dolly birds to coin the old phrase I guess. Ukraine I find has quite a lot of these but also some of the rougher looking types that Im not really into. Belarus meanwhile seems to err on the more neater sort of girl and not so much the slutty side. While I find Polish girls tend to be neater still with just a slight bit of slut about them.



The fact that you use the word slut to describe the woman you are looking for is so offensive to me that I can't even put it in words.  My only comfort is knowing you will never succeed in this search so I do not have to feel sorry for the woman you end up with.


 If I am wrong and you DO manage to find someone willing to be with you (whom no doubt will not speak a word of English, because if she did she would run as fast as she could the other way) I hope she takes you for all you (don't) have.


My only hope is that you are really a troll and not a guy actually looking.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Boethius on November 03, 2018, 08:02:16 PM
Boethius, in regard to your better half's comments I'm assuming you're talking prior to the fall of the wall since you're using Leningrad instead of St. Petersburg. However IMO it was also true in the late 90s and early 2000s.

IMO, in the late 90s and 2000s Moscow women had more information about western fashion. Far more westerners visited Moscow than StP. Far more information about the west flowed into Moscow than StP. The Russians that most likely could afford to travel to the west were more likely to be from Moscow than from StP.

Today that's true however to a much less extent. Someone from StP can take a ferry to Finland or Sweden or a train to the EU. Of course the Internet has opened up Russia to the west. Moscow still rules as the financial capital and most visited city in Russia.

Yes, but we have just returned from a trip that included both Moscow and St. Petersburg.  But my riposte was directed at Soviet times.

The style has not really changed since Soviet times.  The only difference is, women now have more choices.

St. Petersburg still is different, it still has the митьки influence.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 04, 2018, 12:01:55 AM



My only hope is that you are really a troll and not a guy actually looking.

Sadly, Trench writes TRs  - but some of 'em make me wonder if he's really been..

Trench - your use of 'slut' - is tactless and tasteless... and ANY lady reading your adjective will run a mile...unless you are paying for their company .. which seems to have been EXACTLY the company you got ?



Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Blighty on November 04, 2018, 03:21:15 AM
Trench - your use of 'slut' - is tactless and tasteless...

I am English and understand TC's use of the term 'slut'! The woman's 'slutty look' is important to him with the short skirts, etc.

Derogatory words for women in England are 'slag' and 'dog' ... woof  woof)))

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 04, 2018, 03:55:23 AM
Thanks Blighty, that's what I really mean. I don't mean it in a derogatory way, it's really just a shorthand way of expressing what I am looking for. I think certain types of girls suit certain types of people and guys are attracted to certain types of girls. For me there is little point denying to myself the type of girl I am naturally attracted too. I would only be wasting my time in doing so. In general I meant girls like Blighty has said, short skirts, dresses, etc. Girly types who are thin, facially pretty & girly looking, wear make up, act feminine, like to dress well, like being admired, like to flaunt it a bit, etc. It's just may way of quickly describing it.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 04, 2018, 01:14:25 PM
I am English and understand TC's use of the term 'slut'! The woman's 'slutty look' is important to him with the short skirts, etc.

Derogatory words for women in England are 'slag' and 'dog' ... woof  woof)))

...and slut..  NO idea were you picked up your everyday 'English', Blightly ..   the term 'slutty look' is demeaning - meaning a woman that dresses like a whore

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slutty (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slutty)

'Well done', Trench ... what an own goal ...
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Blighty on November 04, 2018, 02:45:21 PM
...and slut..  NO idea were you picked up your everyday 'English', Blightly ..   the term 'slutty look' is demeaning - meaning a woman that dresses like a whore

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slutty (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slutty)

'Well done', Trench ... what an own goal ...

More argumentative tosh! The urban dictionary is American, and so does not apply to this discussion. The conundrum for many women is the fine line in fashion and style between slutty and sexy ... eg, http://www.quora.com/Womens-Fashion-and-Style-How-do-you-define-the-line-or-distinguish-between-sexy-and-slutty

I have dated English women who asked me this very question about their dress code, and always told them that they looked sexy and not slutty. Obviously Ulster has a different mindset from England regarding this matter!

It is a free country and so TC is free to fancy slutty/tarty women. No different from someone fancying a bottle blond bimbo!
 
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Boethius on November 04, 2018, 02:55:19 PM
This is the definition from the Oxford Dictionary (which is a British dictionary) -


http://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/slut
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Blighty on November 04, 2018, 03:11:16 PM
This is the definition from the Oxford Dictionary (which is a British dictionary) -

http://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/slut

This dictionary defines 'slutty' as "being provocative in a way that is considered in bad taste", with an example being given of "she wore one of her slutty outfits". Hence the "slutty look" expression as there is a difference between slut and slutty!  BTW British dictionaries exclude colloquial and vernacular usage of these words!
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 04, 2018, 03:12:02 PM
More argumentative [factual] 'tosh' 

oops:

It accepts all English slang and is not confined to US English

Take the word BINT - for example:

Noting the contributors ?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bint (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bint)

The urban dictionary is American, and so does not apply to this discussion.

'Ri-ight ' - The Court system of England and Wales failed to 'get your memo' ;)

It's been used in High Court cases - as far back as 2003 ...



The conundrum for many women is the fine line in fashion and style between slutty and sexy ... eg, http://www.quora.com/Womens-Fashion-and-Style-How-do-you-define-the-line-or-distinguish-between-sexy-and-slutty

Ri-ight - so now Quora is your site for a 'definitive answer' ;) ?


I have dated English women who asked me this very question about their dress code, and always told them that they looked sexy and not slutty. Obviously Ulster has a different mindset from England regarding this matter!

Clearly not - and I've dated FAR more 'English lasses' than Ulster ones - given I was TWELVE when my Dad moved us to England...


It is a free country and so TC is free to fancy slutty/tarty women. No different from someone fancying a bottle blond bimbo!

It eludes me why you might suggest Trenchie wasn't free to date slutty women ...   

We just can't agree on the definition ..

Personally, I've NEVER fancied dyed blond bimbos, either.

Title: Blighty goes back to school
Post by: msmob on November 04, 2018, 03:14:34 PM
and slutty:

http://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/slutty (http://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/slutty)

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Boethius on November 04, 2018, 03:17:28 PM
This dictionary defines 'slutty' as "being provocative in a way that is considered in bad taste", with an example being given of "she wore one of her slutty outfits". Hence the "slutty look" expression as there is a difference between slut and slutty!  BTW British dictionaries exclude colloquial and vernacular usage of these words!


The first definition, which is usually the most commonly uses, is a woman who has many sexual partners. 


Other Brits here have made the same point about what attracts them, but have used the words "tart" or "tarty", which seems gentler, and is not used much in North America.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Blighty on November 04, 2018, 03:24:35 PM
and slutty:

http://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/slutty (http://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/slutty)


This dictionary defines 'slutty' as "being provocative in a way that is considered in bad taste", with an example being given of "she wore one of her slutty outfits". Hence the "slutty look" expression as there is a difference between slut and slutty!

British dictionaries exclude colloquial and vernacular usage of these words! I come from northern England where it is totally acceptable to use the term 'slutty' to describe a woman's appearance.

We will just need to agree to disagree on this word's meaning!
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Blighty on November 04, 2018, 03:33:11 PM

The first definition, which is usually the most commonly uses, is a woman who has many sexual partners. 


Other Brits here have made the same point about what attracts them, but have used the words "tart" or "tarty", which seems gentler, and is not used much in North America.

I come from northern England where slutty and tarty have the same meaning. Every region in the UK has its own set of urban slang.

BTW my wife is the direct opposite of this type of woman whom TC is seeking!


Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: SteveInBoston on November 04, 2018, 06:07:49 PM
I come from northern England where slutty and tarty have the same meaning. Every region in the UK has its own set of urban slang.

BTW my wife is the direct opposite of this type of woman whom TC is seeking!

I did not realize this is a British only forum.  I thought many countries are represented, and for most, including some of those in England, "slut" and "slutty" are derogatory terminology.


Back to Trench's post,

Wording it as non creepy:  he is attracted to fit, beautiful, provocatively dressed young women.  Most, if not all, men who are not blind will be attracted as well.   What is missing is anything of substance.  The title of the topic is "people's mindset", not what physical attributes are attractive.   Right now Trench's mindset is less than attractive.

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: ML on November 04, 2018, 06:48:34 PM
Out in public, I really wouldn't want to be seen with a woman who looks slutty.
I prefer the well dressed look, which can include something fairly sexy for evening parties, etc.
I like for other men to be jealous of me for being with my woman.
I always imagine many are thinking:  How the he!! did he get her !!!

For special occasions inside our house, I still don't want her to be wearing something too slutty, but perhaps close to that will fill the bill for me sometimes.

- - - - - -

As an aside . . . on Saturday morning we were having a buffet breakfast at a restaurant.
A man whom I didn't know came up to me in the line (wife wasn't nearby) and said:  Where is your wife from?  At first I was going to tell him to fock off or just lie and say USA.
But then I said, Ukraine.
He said, I thought it was somewhere in that area because a guy at my work has a Ukrainian wife also and they have a certain look, and I didn't hear her talk at all.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 04, 2018, 07:21:18 PM
ML

you are lucky to have such a pretty wife!
my UW is "butt ugly" (pic enclosed, see for yourself, but I don't want your pity!)
but I don't care
right after I married her, I laid off the entire cleaning staff, kept their bonuses to!
but then, you're not going to believe this
she did the gardening AND the cooking
I save a bundle
so you can have your pretty wife
mine may not be much to look at, but I've saved a bundle




Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 04, 2018, 10:18:57 PM
Big cities have more women but you'll also have more competition to beat because more men live there too.

Be it a village of 100, town of 10, 000 or a city of 1 million plus - the male / female ratio is likely to be 1:1 - useless Trench seeks women in their fifties - or more ...

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: JayH on November 05, 2018, 01:20:23 AM
Too many are missing the point here -- another totally inappropriate comment from the social misfit Trenchcoat . :deadhorse:
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 05, 2018, 01:47:04 AM
I come from northern England where slutty and tarty have the same meaning. Every region in the UK has its own set of urban slang.

When in a hole - best to stop digging, mate

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tarty (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tarty)

"british word for slutty"

I've lived near Manchester and know the local slang, thanks ...


BTW my wife is the direct opposite of this type of woman whom TC is seeking!

Quite so, I'll bet she's 'proper fit' !  ....   

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 05, 2018, 01:53:26 AM

The first definition, which is usually the most commonly uses, is a woman who has many sexual partners. 


Other Brits here have made the same point about what attracts them, but have used the words "tart" or "tarty", which seems gentler, and is not used much in North America.

Tart it is then :D
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Blighty on November 05, 2018, 02:10:38 AM
I've lived near Manchester and know the local slang, thanks ...

Wrong side of the Pennines!

Quite so, I'll bet she's 'proper fit' !  ....   

My wife is a well brought-up lady, and so please use 'conservative' rather than 'proper fit' to describe her!
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 05, 2018, 02:44:25 AM
Wrong side of the Pennines!

I support a footie team from the 'right side' ..  I did not choose where to live as a teenager;)

My wife is a well brought-up lady, and so please use 'conservative' rather than 'proper fit' to describe her!

'Proper fit' - means very attractive ...  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Jumper on November 05, 2018, 11:45:29 PM
TC,

  Initial attraction is one thing.
It's just a spark. It's mostly meaningless past a couple of dates.
Do you really think anything you've posted in this thread will mean anything in your relationship a decade along ?

My wife dressed fairly conservative for a young FSU woman.
Once here her style changed slightly but was never much different regardless.
As a soccer mom ,I'm perfectly glad she never dressed like some of the  local RW (and AW) I see who seem to be going on 15 yo. trying to recapture a youth long gone .

  The main point is, her fashion sense , tasteful or *tarty* would not be truly important in our relationship anyway.

You spoke about mentalities, which is  more important,  but really did not explain what you seek?
Hopefully you realize being in tune on a place and path in life is what's part of the fundamentals .

It's really difficult to find something if you have very little idea of what you are looking for,or where you are going.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
If your wish is  merely a girly wife that dresses provocatively, I'll assure you that is the poorest traits to base a relationship on, I think you know that.

You dont seem to  want a woman with any real ambition towards a career.
Nor one that wants an education towards that , or an interest in the arts.
One that really wants to travel scares you, as you cant afford it ,and if you could ,you'd feel she was just using you to go places .
A vicious circle.

So what do you actually want?
What's your true expectations?


Just A hottie with a body and penchant for showing it off?

Can the woman have some expectations as well, or are those off limits?

I know you feel relative poverty
is going to help you.
I want to assure you that no matter how poor it's unlikely a hot tarty young womans aspirations in life are to give up all she knows to have a sprog or two, and no life other than your gracing her with your presence and
food on the table. That she can indeed have in the FSU with someone who speaks her language . You've been told that many times.


You may want a family oriented homemaker who is content with a simple basic life and nothing at all wrong with that.
It's part of being on the same page, and place in life, if that's what you want as well.



Regardless her aspirations,
Are you ready to be a man she can count on always? That someone she might respect and admire for their character?charm?ethics?business savy?integrity ? Parenting skills? sense of humoUr? Talent? Rapier Wit?humility? Compassionate empathy ?  Ambition? Dedication? Determination? something? anything?

You've got  something to offer, everyone does, what is it?
You better figure it out and hone it. Because a *possible * rental property in the UK isnt likely to be the root of respect,admiration or love.
And you better figure out what you can respect and admire in her, besides a tarty fashion sense. Ok?
You are speaking (even remotely) about the mother of your future children right?

 



Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 06, 2018, 03:26:58 AM
TC,

  Initial attraction is one thing.
It's just a spark. It's mostly meaningless past a couple of dates.
Do you really think anything you've posted in this thread will mean anything in your relationship a decade along ?

My wife dressed fairly conservative for a young FSU woman.
Once here her style changed slightly but was never much different regardless.
As a soccer mom ,I'm perfectly glad she never dressed like some of the  local RW (and AW) I see who seem to be going on 15 yo. trying to recapture a youth long gone .

  The main point is, her fashion sense , tasteful or *tarty* would not be truly important in our relationship anyway.

You spoke about mentalities, which is  more important,  but really did not explain what you seek?
Hopefully you realize being in tune on a place and path in life is what's part of the fundamentals .

It's really difficult to find something if you have very little idea of what you are looking for,or where you are going.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
If your wish is  merely a girly wife that dresses provocatively, I'll assure you that is the poorest traits to base a relationship on, I think you know that.

You dont seem to  want a woman with any real ambition towards a career.
Nor one that wants an education towards that , or an interest in the arts.
One that really wants to travel scares you, as you cant afford it ,and if you could ,you'd feel she was just using you to go places .
A vicious circle.

So what do you actually want?
What's your true expectations?


Just A hottie with a body and penchant for showing it off?

Can the woman have some expectations as well, or are those off limits?

I know you feel relative poverty
is going to help you.
I want to assure you that no matter how poor it's unlikely a hot tarty young womans aspirations in life are to give up all she knows to have a sprog or two, and no life other than your gracing her with your presence and
food on the table. That she can indeed have in the FSU with someone who speaks her language . You've been told that many times.


You may want a family oriented homemaker who is content with a simple basic life and nothing at all wrong with that.
It's part of being on the same page, and place in life, if that's what you want as well.



Regardless her aspirations,
Are you ready to be a man she can count on always? That someone she might respect and admire for their character?charm?ethics?business savy?integrity ? Parenting skills? sense of humour? Talent? Rapier Wit?humility? Compassionate empathy ?  Ambition? Dedication? Determination? something? anything?


You've got  something to offer, everyone does, what is it?
You better figure it out and hone it. Because a *possible * rental property in the UK isnt likely to be the root of respect,admiration or love.
And you better figure out what you can respect and admire in her, besides a tarty fashion sense. Ok?
You are speaking (even remotely) about the mother of your future children right?

Your absolutely right Jumper, I really value your input here :) As you rightly say there are things I have got, everyone does, but I haven't been focusing on what they are and promoting them. To me those things are a part of me already (not all of the list of course ;) ) yet because they are everyday to me I don't think about them nor how they might be admired by another person, a girl, who may find them difficult to do/hold herself.

You're also correct on the house lodging/rental thing. It will be handy for me doing that shortly but in itself as handy as it is its not like you say likely to be the root of respect, admiration & an aspect for her to love me over that much if at all.

I've gone through your list and I think a few are relevant to me in my own particular way. I will get back to you on it when I have a bit more time. I will think over what you say about thd type of girl I am after also as while I think I have a good idea about the physical and rough personality I don't fully realise where I an going with the mindset of a girl that I want and that is a problem I think also. So many thanks on your input here I most appreciate it :)
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Maxx2 on November 06, 2018, 05:41:12 AM

mine may not be much to look at, but I've saved a bundle


I think she is very good looking, classy. An elegant beauty.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 06, 2018, 07:12:47 AM
thanks Maxx,

you don’t have to try and cheer me up, though I do appreciate the effort!
but I know that by Ukrainian standards, my wife’s facial appearance is probably below average.
though in her defense, her height, she’s “6‘1“, and extremely physically fit body type (yeah, village girl) bring her overall score up a bit.

as I explained elsewhere
you chase woman
but woman catches you!

totally happened to me!
my plan was to take this long legged DD wonder to Istanbul, for the usual wardrobe update
and a few days in a 5 star hotel

you know what my favorite part of this is?
when I take a shower but “forget” to bring my clothes with me, leaving them laid out on the bed
I just casually stroll out of the shower naked in front of them, watching them out of the corner of my eye
I get a total rush, first time I do that with a “fresh” woman

anyway, I do the usual...
difference is, this is the first time I see a woman who brings her own game to the table
and she “played me”
and still does...
but I LOVE IT!!!

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 06, 2018, 08:35:01 AM
actually, I think the problem isn't my wife's fault at all (in regards to her appearance)
beauty, after all is in the eye of the beholder...

I think, because I slept only with the most beautiful UW, it has altered my perception of UW beauty
because I know what the the crème de la crème is, anything less than that seems lesser
again, I should learn not to judge a woman's potential by looks alone

still, I find my wife, by Ukrainian standards to be a bit "on the plain" side
however, her other qualities, more than make up for this one deficit

see pic below, very plain looking Ukrainian woman...

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: fathertime on November 06, 2018, 08:44:19 AM
actually, I think the problem isn't my wife's fault at all (in regards to her appearance)
beauty, after all is in the eye of the beholder...

I think, because I slept only with the most beautiful UW, it has altered my perception of UW beauty
because I know what the the crème de la crème is, anything less than that seems lesser
again, I should learn not to judge a woman's potential by looks alone

still, I find my wife, by Ukrainian standards to be a bit "on the plain" side
however, her other qualities, more than make up for this one deficit

see pic below, very plain looking Ukrainian woman...
She looks very nice in my opinion.  Maybe not a supermodel facially, but has her own unique look which is rather pleasant. 

Fathertime!   
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 06, 2018, 08:53:32 AM
ahhh, she's OK...
but seriously, I'm willing to overlook it
I was ALWAYS paranoid of the cleaning staff
but since I married her, do not need one
or gardening or chef

and she is the most COMPLIANT woman I've ever met
will do anything I tell her without question or complaint
when you get right down to it, what's better, this or "Super Hot" by Ukrainian standards
but deficient in all other areas?

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: ML on November 06, 2018, 10:25:46 AM
Krim, I don't think this is very nice (not to mention wise) to be posting about one's loved one.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 06, 2018, 10:37:48 AM
my, aren't WE protective, how charming...

my wife and I are totally honest with each other!
she's seen pics of my previous girlfriends
right before she gathered them up and burned them all in a fireplace!
she knows I didn't marry her, cuz I thought she was prettiest Belle of the Ball
soon as she saw those photos

honesty, good work ethic, unparalleled domestic skills go a lot further than a cute face!
a lot of the women I slept with who had Super Hot visual appeal had little to offer other than that
after sex, I'd get bored with them pretty fast

my wife's behavior towards me is different from any other woman I ever met
she takes care of me in a very compassionate way
takes care of me in every way and in all dimensions
and to me that makes her beautiful



Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 06, 2018, 10:46:08 AM
totally happened to me!
my plan was to take this long legged DD wonder to Istanbul, for the usual wardrobe update
and a few days in a 5 star hotel

Apparently there are some real good deals to be had in Istanbul at the moment because their economy/currency has taken a dive. So good for all the fashion shops, Western or even Turkish Fashion brands. When I was with girl in Kiev last year I bought some jeans she picked out for me as she was into fashion, turns out they were a Turkish fashion brand and I kind off liked them, a bit different from what I normally wear but quite funky/rock star style in look without looking overboard. May go out to Istanbul myself sometime soon, its not far from the UK and the weather will be good at least :) Just got to hope no trouble kicks off while there :o
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 06, 2018, 10:51:28 AM
Istanbul
is the place to take UW shopping for clothes
especially if they are tall
but be prepared for a couple of thousand pound credit card bill
but SO WORTH IT

5 star hotels are incredibly cheap as are restaurants
some really amazing places to explore
a little over an hour's flight from Odessa
get visas soon as you land for you and UW
super simple

between the luxury of a 5 star hotel, and the exotic atmosphere of old Istanbul
and spending a year of her income on brand new clothes
she'll be walking with stars in her eyes
then she will start thinking
"what can a poor girl like me give in return to someone SO generous"
it won't be a tin of homemade cookies
though you can certainly get that as well (i like cookies)

at this point you have totally domesticated the wild Ukrainian beast
and she is eating out of the palm of your hand
they are programmed to be this way
you just have to understand the nature of their programming
and use it...

Seduction 101 for UW


Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Donna_Pedro on November 06, 2018, 11:21:14 AM

Wording it as non creepy:  he is attracted to fit, beautiful, provocatively dressed young women.  Most, if not all, men who are not blind will be attracted as well.   What is missing is anything of substance.  The title of the topic is "people's mindset", not what physical attributes are attractive.   Right now Trench's mindset is less than attractive.


TC has already stated that his environment is going to be OK with his wife looking like that. To each his own.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Donna_Pedro on November 06, 2018, 11:23:47 AM
Apparently there are some real good deals to be had in Istanbul at the moment because their economy/currency has taken a dive.


OMG...
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 06, 2018, 01:08:42 PM
Apparently there are some real good deals to be had in Istanbul at the moment because their economy/currency has taken a dive.

Er Hello...

It went from 6 to 9 to the GBP and it's now back to 7 ..

DO keep up, Trenchie
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: mendeleyev on November 07, 2018, 03:36:29 PM
Krimmster, she is very nice.


My wife is a blend of conservative and creative. She is pretty and I tell her every day that she is the most beautiful woman in the world and that her beauty comes from an even more beautiful inner world. She wants to be judged as much for her character and talent as by physical beauty.


When a man can compliment and appreciate the inside of the package, as being just as or even more important that the outside, you will have a woman who views you as her man, a "keeper."


For guys just starting this journey, that expression "inner world" will score you big points if you learn how to compliment out of sincere appreciation and genuine motivation.


And in a culture where men stray often simply because they can, telling a woman that she is your "one and only" and that you want to be her "one and only" will also score mega points. You just need to be sincere and honest if you say that to a woman.


Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 07, 2018, 03:48:04 PM
gratitude kind sir
freakin "A" she is NICE!
sweetest, kindest person I ever met in my entire life!
the only thing she wants is for the people around her to be happy
so she can be happy!
she gives me everything a man could possibly want a woman to give him, and then some...
and I DEMAND a lot...


Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 07, 2018, 03:58:28 PM
Krimster

You wife is pretty and may be incredibly tolerant - if the real Krim is anything like his board 'persona' ;) ...




Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 07, 2018, 04:07:54 PM
" if the real Krim is anything like his board 'persona'"

what do you think?
that I'm just "messing" with you guys? or is this the REAL me?  I don't know, do you?

ya know, I'll tell you a story!
Once when I was very young I went on a date with a blind girl, yes it WAS a blind date
we were sitting on the ground having a picnic when suddenly she reaches over and grabs me in a tight grip
and then she softly moans, "that is the biggest willy I have ever felt"
to which I replied, "you're pulling my leg"

ahahahahahahaha

Title: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: 2tallbill on November 07, 2018, 11:53:16 PM
Krimmster, she is very nice.

+1

My wife is a blend of conservative and creative. She is pretty

I've seen photos, your wife is far too pretty for your looks. If she weren't an artist
I would ask if she was blind.  :D
You did well!

Nice to see you popping in.

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: mendeleyev on November 08, 2018, 10:28:36 AM
+1

I've seen photos, your wife is far too pretty for your looks. If she weren't an artist
I would ask if she was blind.  :D
You did well!

Nice to see you popping in.


Thank you, Beeeeel. You are also a very lucky man. Both of us married up and out of our league.

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 08, 2018, 01:08:23 PM
at this point you have totally domesticated the wild Ukrainian beast
and she is eating out of the palm of your hand
they are programmed to be this way
you just have to understand the nature of their programming
and use it...

Seduction 101 for UW

Yes but how often do you have to do this? How long does the effect last. If it's a frequent event it could get very expensive.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 08, 2018, 07:08:46 PM
Been thinking more about a FSW mindset that I am looking for. I'm going to take her being stubborn, rigid & uncompromising as a given seeing that they all seem built that way, lol.

Beyond the given usual it becomes a little more difficult since as Jumper tells me it could be a girl with a mindset not on my list that I hit it off with. So it may be easier to state first what I tend not to like:

Women that:
Shout, ill tempered in the extreme, argue too much, highly strung, too quiet, too introverted, dopey, uncouth.

Possibly some other stuff but as a brief guess. I'm thinking girls who too social - have to always be with someone or who talk constantly are not likely to fit in that well with me either.

I generally like girls who are:

Soft, girly, caring, can talk but not dominate a conversation, likes similar interests to me, has some sort of special talent or interest (probably not performing arts/opera though). Fairly down to earth but not too boring.Easy to be around. Likes fairly simple things. Likes to dress nice. Wants children/family focused.

I also don't mind a girl who is a bit intellectual but not over the top in a too geeky way.

I guess I can give a fair bit I  terms of her mindset so long as their is chemistry and it doesn't conflict with my minset too much. I have a quite easy going mindset but if people irritate me by talking way too much or act without common sense it grates on me - so probably none of that. I can accept people do occasionally make mistakes so I'm not obsessive about people never doing anything wrong. Girls who are too dominating and try and tell me what to do/dictate to me that is definately a no go.

Beyond that I think I am pretty open to different mindsets. I think it generally comes out when meeting a girl fairly quickly early on. There's been a couple of girls I have been too at odds with mindset wise early on and I find the more they are at odds with me tell shorter the meet lasts.

The girl I met first in Lviv for example who wanted to smoke and tried to strong arm me into getting her some and what was going to happen was at odds with my mindset. I've come across girls in the past who are too bossy in a dictatorial sort of way and it's not gone down well with me. So I think this is the broad stroakes of the sort of girl I would/wouldn't get on well with mind wise.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Bee Farmer on November 08, 2018, 08:10:32 PM
Quote
I wonder if I got with someone like this they might view me as not work orientated enough/not doing enough work, even if I did a standard week & a bit of other stuff. I get the impression they would be push, push to get in all the hours/money feasible and that for me could be a pain. Any thoughts?     

Trench, you might want to gain some familiarity with the Big 5 traits in psychology.

One of those traits is known as Conscientiousness.  This is a measure of self-discipline, work ethic, orderliness, dutifullness, etc.  People with high conscientiousness also have a high disgust sensitivity. (Although having a higher IQ lowers your disgust sensitivity.)

A person with high conscientiousness will want everything neat and in order, and will want everyone to do their duty, and will be a workaholic.  A person with high conscientiousness will not be able to handle working part-time hours.  They will go crazy.  They will find some sort of work to do, or work multiple jobs.

It is a recipe for disaster to have two people who are unevenly matched on Conscientiousness.  One person's disgust sensitivity may be slightly higher, and they will go nuts over you not taking the trash out right away.  If they have a higher work ethic, they will be furious about you being lazy if you are not working as hard as them.

If you are low in Conscientiousness, it won't bother you if you live like a slob, and your credit isn't very good, or if you are living on welfare benefits, or if you just work part-time enough to keep your head above water.  A girl who is low in Conscientiousness is NOT going to put much effort into looking good.

Think about how you live your life, and this is the kind of girl you should go after.

The second most important predictor of long term life success is trait Conscientiousness.  If someone is willing to work hard, and keeps their bills and finances in order, and obeys rules, etc., they usually do well in life.

The number one most important predictor of long term life success is IQ.  There is a well known correlation between grammar and English skills and IQ.  For example, people who don't know the difference between your, you're, or yore are not people who have IQ's.  They tend to be dimwitted people who are not going to have the best opportunities for long term life success.  Research has also found that higher IQ is a criteria women use to sexually select men.

Now if someone didn't know the difference between your and you're, and they didn't have enough motivation to work more than a part-time job, you would hope they would have enough brains to realize that the ONLY way any hot, FSU gal would want anything to do with them was to use them as a mule to get citizenship or to use them for whatever money they could get.

Normal high conscientious girls who care about how they look are not interested in a low IQ, low conscientiousness slob of a guy, regardless of the passport he carries.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 08, 2018, 11:15:29 PM
Trench, you might want to gain some familiarity with the Big 5 traits in psychology.

One of those traits is known as Conscientiousness.  This is a measure of self-discipline, work ethic, orderliness, dutifullness, etc.  People with high conscientiousness also have a high disgust sensitivity. (Although having a higher IQ lowers your disgust sensitivity.)

A person with high conscientiousness will want everything neat and in order, and will want everyone to do their duty, and will be a workaholic.  A person with high conscientiousness will not be able to handle working part-time hours.  They will go crazy.  They will find some sort of work to do, or work multiple jobs.

It is a recipe for disaster to have two people who are unevenly matched on Conscientiousness.  One person's disgust sensitivity may be slightly higher, and they will go nuts over you not taking the trash out right away.  If they have a higher work ethic, they will be furious about you being lazy if you are not working as hard as them.

If you are low in Conscientiousness, it won't bother you if you live like a slob, and your credit isn't very good, or if you are living on welfare benefits, or if you just work part-time enough to keep your head above water.  A girl who is low in Conscientiousness is NOT going to put much effort into looking good.

Think about how you live your life, and this is the kind of girl you should go after.

The second most important predictor of long term life success is trait Conscientiousness.  If someone is willing to work hard, and keeps their bills and finances in order, and obeys rules, etc., they usually do well in life.

The number one most important predictor of long term life success is IQ.  There is a well known correlation between grammar and English skills and IQ.  For example, people who don't know the difference between your, you're, or yore are not people who have IQ's.  They tend to be dimwitted people who are not going to have the best opportunities for long term life success.  Research has also found that higher IQ is a criteria women use to sexually select men.

Now if someone didn't know the difference between your and you're, and they didn't have enough motivation to work more than a part-time job, you would hope they would have enough brains to realize that the ONLY way any hot, FSU gal would want anything to do with them was to use them as a mule to get citizenship or to use them for whatever money they could get.

Normal high conscientious girls who care about how they look are not interested in a low IQ, low conscientiousness slob of a guy, regardless of the passport he carries.

Well looked at the big five traits Bee Farmer and what they entail. Looks like for most of them I wouldn't be extreme in any of them. Most likely I would score low in Extrovertism. In Conscientiousness I'm guessing I would score around a 3 - 4 out of 5. Remember I work doing building work on my house in addition to my part time job which has now inadvertently become a full time job ;)

I see what you mean though, some of the girls I have met (briefly) speed dating in the UK well I think some of them would be more nearer a 5 for conscientiousness. I got the impression they didn't think I hit the mark in terms of the efforts I make. They probably think that for most guys I'm guessing that's why they are there & single. I definitely think you are right though - a workaholic girl is not for me so an 'at work' culture such as Belarus is probably less likely to yield the sort of girl I need. Even in Ukraine I would have to watch to avoid these girls. I need someone more moderate, not a complete slob but not a workaholic either. I'm not an uptight sort of person who is obsessed with 'doing the job' at all times, I prefer to work independently even flying solo free from the formal work place. I'm quite an organised guy, I allow a little mess for a while but if it gets too much or goes on a while I take time out to organise it all so it can be got at more efficiently. A previous employer noted that I was good at organisation :) I'm also always punctual for dates, work, meetings etc. Also quite self disciplined probably a 4 out of 5 on that and quite hardworking but only when I see a decent reason to be so - need the reward at the end of it all ;)

So I think I need a girl who is just a bit lower than me on thd conscientiousness scale say between a 2 and a 3. I would probably get cheesed of if she didn't want to do anything, any cooking or whatever but if she was too conscientiousness  (a 5) and started to view me as inferior like I was not good enough for her anymore that would annoy me also I think. I'm kind of into people making an effort and those that make none to little irk me but I find people that are too career minded wanting to be 'at work' all the time freakish. I think a bit of down time here & there to enjoy oneself us a good thing :)

Am I right in thinking it's not a good idea usually to be with someone who is at the other end of thd scale on the 4 of the big 5?

I think also there is a lot on IQ in what you say, what about 'natural ability' at something? I tend to think everyone had a natural ability at something though many people don't know what it is or aren't tapping into it, there doing the wring job, etc. For those that I though I'm guessing they tend to end up more successful as a result perhaps even if their IQ is not real high.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: JayH on November 09, 2018, 12:05:04 AM
Trying to decide who should marry  Trenchcoat --  Beekeeper or PeterWarrick9 .
All = social misfit !! ;D
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Bee Farmer on November 09, 2018, 07:01:06 AM
Quote
Most likely I would score low in Extrovertism.

Extrovertism?  Extroversion.  Remember that IQ thing I mentioned?

Quote
In Conscientiousness I'm guessing I would score around a 3 - 4 out of 5. Remember I work doing building work on my house in addition to my part time job which has now inadvertently become a full time job

I'm guessing you overrate yourself.

Quote
I definitely think you are right though - a workaholic girl is not for me so an 'at work' culture such as Belarus is probably less likely to yield the sort of girl I need.

You just don't get it.  These are individual traits, not cultural traits.  You can find orderly, workaholic girls surrounded by lazy bums, and you can find lazy bums surrounded by workaholics.

The kind of girl that matches with you is a lazy bum, fat slob, welfare case.  (Look on the bright side - a girl low in conscientiousness is too lazy to be a scammer, although she will be happy letting you pay for everything.)

Quote
So I think I need a girl who is just a bit lower than me on thd conscientiousness scale say between a 2 and a 3.

No, you want a girl who matches you as close as possible.  But you may be correct on the 2, but probably closer to 1.  (It's actually scored as a percentile.)

Quote
Am I right in thinking it's not a good idea usually to be with someone who is at the other end of thd scale on the 4 of the big 5?

It depends.  Introversion and Extroversion can match well.  Opposites attract.  The Introvert can ground the Extrovert, and the Extroverted social butterfly can bring an Introvert out of their shell.

Women naturally are higher in Neuroticism (Emotional Stability) than men.  That's just biological.  Women tend to look at things like the mother-infant dyad, which makes her worry about things more.

Women are naturally higher in agreeableness, so it is natural that both people don't match.  If both are low in agreeableness, you are going to have problems.

It helps if both are similar in Openness to Experience.  If one is open and one is not, one person wants to go out and do things and experience things, and the other wants to be a homebody and never leave the safety of the house.  (That may save you money if she doesn't want to go out to eat, or go to a museum, or travel, etc.)

The thing you are overlooking is that a woman who is low in Conscientiousness is not going to care about looking good.  She will not care if she gets fat and slobby.  She is going to be perfectly happy living on welfare or letting you pay for everything.  She is not going to be interested in getting a job.  She is not going to put much effort into taking care of the kids or taking care of you.  She will be perfectly happy wasting her life away watching tv and eating junk food.

Quote
I think also there is a lot on IQ in what you say, what about 'natural ability' at something? I tend to think everyone had a natural ability at something though many people don't know what it is or aren't tapping into it, there doing the wring job, etc.  For those that I though I'm guessing they tend to end up more successful as a result perhaps even if their IQ is not real high.

These are known as talents.  There are tons of talented starving artists and musicians.  Talent is not IQ.  Only a very small portion of talented people achieve much success.

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Bee Farmer on November 09, 2018, 07:03:51 AM
Trying to decide who should marry  Trenchcoat --  Beekeeper or PeterWarrick9 .
All = social misfit !! ;D

There is no greater social misfit than someone who is divorced.

It is ironic that someone divorced claims that unmarried people are social misfits.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 09, 2018, 07:17:19 AM
"There is no greater social misfit than someone who is divorced."

according to the media, there is NO greater misfit than an INCEL who takes out his frustrations on others
you case is a good illustration of this
do you own many firearms?




"It is ironic that someone divorced claims that unmarried people are social misfits."

not AT ALL what he said, he mentioned YOU SPECIFICALLY BY NAME
I wouldn't call you a misfit, I think nitwit sounds closer to the truth and it rhymes



"Remember that IQ thing I mentioned?"

seems to me, YOU are the one who should TRY to remember
he responded correctly, you misinterpreted his straightforward easy to understand response

once again, your comments demonstrate a complete lack of the basic fundamental knowledge acquired by being an adult MAN
you don't get this knowledge from the Christian "Self Help" section of Amazon where you get ALL your information from
you get it from experience
however,you have ZERO experience at being an adult man
none at all!!!!

and YOUR COMMENTS HERE CLEARLY SHOW THIS!!!!

if I was your father, and I happily AM NOT
when you got out of high school, I would've put you in the Marine Corps
they would've made a man out of you, it did to my cousins
I chose the Army
you should've done something similar

but dude......
you seriously have NO IDEA of all the fun you COULD BE HAVING
instead of the misery you're living in now
but I doubt you'll ever "wake up"

take whatever garbage you have deep down in the darkness of your mind
and use it to forge any verbal barb against me you want
I am impervious to them
"I fear no evil"

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.
Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness.
For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.

one day soon, your time's gonna be up MFer
and when it is...
I want your last memory
to be of this post...


BTW "Mr can't get no action in Ukraine"

this is how I used to roll
how did I meet this 19 yr old college student from Kyiv?
I just walked right up to her and started talking to her
she moved in with me in my apartment in Kyiv a week later
SHE was my first girlfriend in Ukraine

THIS is how ya do it, guys!
and WHY ya do it
you think a 40 yr old guy could tap that in the USA?
but it was "a piece of cake" getting girls like this in Ukraine....




Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 09, 2018, 01:32:31 PM
I note Bee-farmer's "guess who I'm quoting?" style hasn't improved..

Think I'll give his posts a miss - as if he's too lazy to bother, I'll be too lazy to read ;)

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 09, 2018, 02:20:00 PM
Beefarmer, I don't have to do a job and I don't have to take it upon myself to do building work in my free time either. I also don't have to think about what I wish to do in the future. I also didn't have to visit the FSU several times. If I did none of those and sat on the dole quite content then that would be a 1 for conscientiousness.

As it is the fact that I have an everyday job I have geld down for over a decade would I image give me a 2, same for any other person who has held an everyday job long term.

I work in my free time, I don't have too, no one is forcing me. Many people take the weekend of to enjoy, spend time with family etc. So for working in my free time I would give myself a 3 and so would anyone else who does likewise.

Thinking about my future and working out what to do, planning it out, making efforts to go to the FSU not just be a keyboard romeo and spend good money doing it. Looking to self improve. Well I'm guessing that could justify a 4 or somewhere towards it, same for other guys that do this. Some guys don't bother spending time thinking and planning about their future they just go out and enjoy life in the moment.

What are 5's then? Well not me, I don't consider myself one nor think I will ever be one. I don't wish to be a 5 on Conscientiousness. I consider them over the top, work obsessed nut jobs who have lost sight of why they are working hard if they ever knew in the first place. They literally cram every waking moment on working, deprive themselves of necessary sleep to be healthy and most importantly are usually difficult to be around and bear. They are true work freaks and are often scary people worth avoiding or just plain sado's. They even lose out on benefitting from the fruits of their labour as they are at work all the time. They see work culture as life which is just peculiar.

When I state Belarus as an 'at work culture' I don't necessarily mean they are all 5's but even for those that are less the 'at work' regime I think has had an affect on their psyche it's bound to over a prolonged period of time, a bit like the Chinese also who are renown for being very studious hard workers. I think over a period of time people come some what how society moulds them whether deliberately or not and of course people vary within that societal mould.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 09, 2018, 11:37:11 PM
What a load of excuses and wordy bollox 'theory', Trenchie !

You are only kidding yourself
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Bee Farmer on November 14, 2018, 07:21:32 PM
Quote
according to the media, there is NO greater misfit than an INCEL who takes out his frustrations on others
you case is a good illustration of this
do you own many firearms?

And you believe everything the media tells you?  Mark Twain said someone who doesn't read a newspaper is uninformed, and someone who does read it is misinformed.

I have a shotgun, a rifle, and a 4 wheel drive, cause a country boy can survive, but I'm not an incel.

Quote
"It is ironic that someone divorced claims that unmarried people are social misfits."

not AT ALL what he said, he mentioned YOU SPECIFICALLY BY NAME
I wouldn't call you a misfit, I think nitwit sounds closer to the truth and it rhymes

He mentioned Trench and myself, all unmarried as social misfits.  Yet he himself is divorced - which is a conviction of being unable to properly socialize.

Quote
"Remember that IQ thing I mentioned?"

seems to me, YOU are the one who should TRY to remember
he responded correctly, you misinterpreted his straightforward easy to understand response

It went over your head.  I was pointing out that he had just displayed a lack of brains.

Quote
once again, your comments demonstrate a complete lack of the basic fundamental knowledge acquired by being an adult MAN
you don't get this knowledge from the Christian "Self Help" section of Amazon where you get ALL your information from
you get it from experience
however,you have ZERO experience at being an adult man
none at all!!!!

Krimster, your inferiority complex is hilarious.  You cast aspersions which have no grounding in reality at myself, or pitbull, or anyone who you disagree with.

Learning the Parable of 2 Wolves might do you some good.
Two Wolves - A Cherokee Parable

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life...

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."

Krimster, one only needs to look at what comes out of you, to see what is inside you.  Try feeding the other wolf.

Most women learn to look at how a man treats the people around them, waiters and waitresses, or even people who can offer them nothing, because that is how the man will treat the lady (and children) in the future.
Based upon how you treat other forum members, I genuinely feel sympathy for your wife and children.

Whenever you want to have a "man" contest, I have a simple challenge for you.
Go volunteer at a shelter for abused women and children.  Get to know women and girls who are absolutely terrified of men, because of what has happened to them.  Find ones that are terrified to be touched. 
Become friends with them.  Show them that they are valuable and precious.  Show them that a guy can be kind to them and care about them without abusing them.  Get them to trust you.  Get them to willingly give you a hug.
It will take years.  One wrong misstep, and you will ruin your chances forever.
Money won't help you at all.
There is only one way.  You must have extreme integrity and character, and you must be a true friend.  You have to be a real man.

I've gotten to know a few ladies like that.  I've walked the walk. 
Come back when you have made a real difference in the life of even one woman like that.

Quote
I note Bee-farmer's "guess who I'm quoting?" style hasn't improved..

Think I'll give his posts a miss - as if he's too lazy to bother, I'll be too lazy to read

Thanks, msmob.  I don't consider that a loss at all.

Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 14, 2018, 11:06:43 PM
How does one point a member on ignore?

I can see how to make BeeFarmer my buddy or send him a PM ;)




Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Boethius on November 15, 2018, 06:37:21 AM
Go to your profile.  Click on summary.  On the left hand side of the screen, you will see "modify profile".  Click on it.  You will see a choice marked "Buddies/Ignore List".    Put your mouse over it, and you will see two choices - Edit Buddies List and Edit Ignore List.  Go to "Edit Ignore List" and type in the name of the user you wish to ignore.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 15, 2018, 07:56:38 AM
that’s a GREAT philosophy you’ve expounded upon here BeeFarmer...
IF YOUR’RE 12 YEARS OLD!

those of us who have gone through puberty can have a good laugh at it

what it shows, via your own words
is that you’re socially isolated with no REAL experience with women or life in general

NONE

so you fill the vacuum with self help books from Amazon
and you post the synopsis of what you read here...

that’s WHO YOU ARE

go get some actual experience
THEN tell us of your EXPERIENCES and not what’s trending in the self-help section for Christians on Amazon

basic financial terminology, “Arbitrage”

Arbitrage is the purchase and sale of an asset to profit from an imbalance in the price, exploiting the price difference of the asset in different markets

in your home country dating market or in Ukraine’s dating market
YOU are the asset!!!

guess what pilgrims?
there’s a huge imbalance in the price of a WM in Ukraine!
Word!

the more leverage you have in terms of
income
appearance
interpersonal skills
sexual performance

the more VALUE you have

at the same time that WM enjoy a much higher market value in Ukraine than in the West
UW suffer from the opposite, and have a much lower market value in Ukraine than they would in the West, so there is even much more of a differential for WM in Ukraine because of this

whatever sick, twisted, perverted fantasy your feverish brain could ever concoct
if you go to the Ukrainian market and if you have enough leverage
it doesn’t have to remain a fantasy

or not...
totally up to you



Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Nightwish on November 15, 2018, 10:07:13 AM
Go to your profile.  Click on summary.  On the left hand side of the screen, you will see "modify profile".  Click on it.  You will see a choice marked "Buddies/Ignore List".    Put your mouse over it, and you will see two choices - Edit Buddies List and Edit Ignore List.  Go to "Edit Ignore List" and type in the name of the user you wish to ignore.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

and that works - sometimes - but mostly not for some reason.

I have one "pothead" on ignore but I still see most of his posts, and it can differ in the same thread even, some post I see and some I don't.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: ML on November 15, 2018, 10:38:49 AM
Why put anyone on ignore?

In many threads, I just scan down and mostly ignore posts by persons whose opinions I don't respect or care about.

It is really not that hard to do.

Seems a little weak minded when a person is afraid they might not be able to resist reading something from someone.

And the weakest of all are those who post extended back and forth rebuttals to dimwits.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Nightwish on November 15, 2018, 12:55:11 PM
Why put anyone on ignore?

In many threads, I just scan down and mostly ignore posts by persons whose opinions I don't respect or care about.

It is really not that hard to do.

Seems a little weak minded when a person is afraid they might not be able to resist reading something from someone.

And the weakest of all are those who post extended back and forth rebuttals to dimwits.

Because this individual pollutes every thread with his deranged rambling and obvious fantasies and don't contribute at all to anything but bitching.. so ignore I hoped to be a blessing, but not so much.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: krimster2 on November 15, 2018, 01:22:49 PM
NighWish

my advice to you!!!
don't ever go to prison!!!
because you will be totally somone's "bitch" on the very first day....
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be ignored ?)
Post by: msmob on November 15, 2018, 02:19:04 PM
Sadly,  said Farmer of Bees posts have not disappeared - but It does confirm they're being ignored ;)

Why put anyone on ignore?


Seems a little weak minded when a person is afraid they might not be able to resist reading something from someone.

In the case of this poster - it's just too boring to work out who he's referring to and it's not like I've ever read anything that I learnt from

There are posters with whom I seriously disagree with nearly everything they post - but even they took the time to quote folk, correctly ...

Then there's Krimster.....   he doesn't use the quote function - but at least he livens the room - even if I might agree with him


And the weakest of all are those who post extended back and forth rebuttals to dimwits.

I seriously had to think who you might be referring to .....as the 'dim wit' ;)
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 15, 2018, 02:30:53 PM
whatever sick, twisted, perverted fantasy your feverish brain could ever concoct
if you go to the Ukrainian market and if you have enough leverage
it doesn’t have to remain a fantasy

or not...
totally up to you

This seems surprisingly true. The girl I briefly met  in Nikolaev well on her profile on Mamba she had all of the dirty sexual options ok'd - tie ups, play acting, sexual games, preferences, etc. I hadn't noticed it at first since it was at the bottom of the page. I queried it with her, whether it would be on me or her. She replied that for the right guy she was open to it. Now she was a regular Uni girl who was/had just finished her studies. So I was found it somewhat strange, she was very regular looking everyday girl and dressed in everyday wear so not really your racy type of girl. She had studied Sociology and was 23 so I guess would be 26 ish now. I wasn't the right guy for her, I kind of wonder now if she wanted to find a guy as an immigration mule to a Country where Uni Education is still completely free like Denmark. She asked me whether it was in the UK I told her not exactly.

Now UK girls would take issue and possibly dump a guy unless she thought you were Mr Dogs Bollocks with other girls interested.

It really does seem like a lot of girls aren't fussed and will go to anything for guys they like even mildly. Not saying it goes for all of them but I think quiet a log of them even if on the quiet. I would be careful about raising it/how it is raised. I think building a bit of rapport as a good thing to do first.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 15, 2018, 02:50:01 PM
Hey, Trench

Thanks for the example re the type of gal you're more likely to meet on mamba these days ..

It's clear what she was looking for - without even seeing her profile  -  and you were daft enough to be 'hopeful '? ...   :wallbash:

I mean it's hardly saying to me, "I want to settle down and make babies .... "

You really need your 'ladar' tuning ;)



Title: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: 2tallbill on November 15, 2018, 03:21:00 PM
You really need your 'ladar' tuning ;)


Gaydar is the ability to detect gay people ie gad radar = gaydar

So what's ladar?

Laddy radar? where you note which lads are most likely to be the gayest?
Laid radar? where you can detect what the odds of your getting laid is?

It was late maybe it was ladder. Make sure you peak up her dress when she
scales the ladder?

La Der as in see you later?
La Dar as in your ability to determine if the girl has been shopping in the San Fernando
Valley.

Valley girl = Women characterized by the colloquial California English dialect Valleyspeak and materialism.


Ok, Ok, I will quit guessing
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Trenchcoat on November 15, 2018, 03:59:00 PM
Hey, Trench

Thanks for the example re the type of gal you're more likely to meet on mamba these days ..

It's clear what she was looking for - without even seeing her profile  -  and you were daft enough to be 'hopeful '? ...   :wallbash:

I mean it's hardly saying to me, "I want to settle down and make babies .... "

You really need your 'ladar' tuning ;)

Maybe you put it a perfect performance on your first effort on meeting the first FSW you went to meet Mobers. Most of us need to gain a bit of experience from which we piece together over time what it is like over there dating FSW and what the deal is. BB in the other thread is describing what Newbies tend to find. Experiences vary a bit but generally it's about discovering about the situation as things go on and building up that experience & knowledge of FSU Dating. BB is handed a situation each girl he gets in contact with. Now some of us who have even a tiny amount of experience/knowledge can see areas to be wary of where he does not, how could he, it's the first time he's tried FSU dating and hasn't even been out there yet. Most guys are pretty vulnerable to girls who are shrewder than your average scammer and have a bit up top to play the guy for what they want.

Krimster's advice on here has been invaluable. He essentially has knowledge a local local Ukrainian or Russian guy would have and he is generous to impart it to us :) Without Krimster's input we would be reliant on a load of westerners who have just their fragment of the total picture. Its not a bad attempt at trying to understand the FSU dating situation but a foreign attempt at understanding isn't going to unlock the more specific local understanding.

We need that local understanding desperately as otherwise as we know FSW will catch on to our lack of understanding over time and play us as a result of lacking understanding. I don't want to see any guys needlessly played by FSW like they have been in the past and still to some extent do. There are enough women in the FSU for us all to do well if we master the basics locals know but we tend to be in the dark off, not totally but more than enough off.
Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: msmob on November 15, 2018, 10:53:27 PM
Hi Beel

I used the term 'ladar' in the context of gaydar - to suggest Trenches lack of empathy for the fairer sex's desires / wishes when searching for a male partner ..

I can only pray it will one day be used more commonly ;)



Trench

My first trip to the FSU was made after I'd lived WITH ( an FSU W) and WORKED  with and SOCIALISED with FSU folk on ( the island of ) Cyprus ... I had a HUGE advantage over most western guys .. 

1/ I could speak 'better' Russian

2/ I had dated FSU W in the 'west' ( Cyprus is EAST of the UK ..)

Despite all those advantages, I still managed to end up in Volgograd with a FSU W who I really liked - but could not communicate with and sat in an apartment BORED ..waiting for her to complete her filial duties

I resolved to learn Russian better and not rely on friends as translators,  NOT to chose a woman whose parents were elderly and needed caring for and thus the woman couldn't really leave..

This was WAY before Skype and Russians had decent internet






 










Title: Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
Post by: Boethius on November 16, 2018, 07:15:41 AM
Maybe you put it a perfect performance on your first effort on meeting the first FSW you went to meet Mobers. Most of us need to gain a bit of experience from which we piece together over time what it is like over there dating FSW and what the deal is. BB in the other thread is describing what Newbies tend to find. Experiences vary a bit but generally it's about discovering about the situation as things go on and building up that experience & knowledge of FSU Dating. BB is handed a situation each girl he gets in contact with. Now some of us who have even a tiny amount of experience/knowledge can see areas to be wary of where he does not, how could he, it's the first time he's tried FSU dating and hasn't even been out there yet. Most guys are pretty vulnerable to girls who are shrewder than your average scammer and have a bit up top to play the guy for what they want.

Krimster's advice on here has been invaluable. He essentially has knowledge a local local Ukrainian or Russian guy would have and he is generous to impart it to us :) Without Krimster's input we would be reliant on a load of westerners who have just their fragment of the total picture. Its not a bad attempt at trying to understand the FSU dating situation but a foreign attempt at understanding isn't going to unlock the more specific local understanding.

We need that local understanding desperately as otherwise as we know FSW will catch on to our lack of understanding over time and play us as a result of lacking understanding. I don't want to see any guys needlessly played by FSW like they have been in the past and still to some extent do. There are enough women in the FSU for us all to do well if we master the basics locals know but we tend to be in the dark off, not totally but more than enough off.

You need someone to tell you that putting your sexual preferences or what you are "willing" to do on a dating app is not normal?

You don't need a local understanding of dating, because you are never going to be a local.  But I'll tell you one thing - if a UM asks a woman out, he pays for everything, he doesn't complain about it like some whiny 14 year old, and he knows what the woman's expectations are, based on who she is.

This post was composed without the aid of google.