Parable about woman

[LEGAL]

God, creating woman, was working overtime sixth day.
Angel asked him: "Why do you spend so much time working at woman?"
"Did you see instruction? She should not be afraid of  moisture but she should not be plastic woman. Her legs should be strong  when two children are in her lap but her legs should be graceful when she dances. Her kiss should treat for all illness even for broken heart. Her eyes should can see through a closed door when she asks children what they do and her eyes should can say without  words what she feels and how she loves. Her heart should can feel through a great distance"- answered God.
God finished his work.
Angel touched lightly woman and whispered with astonishment : "She is so delicate!"
" She is delicate but she is strong. You can not imagine what she can bear in her life and what she can do" -  God said a little sadly.
"Can she think?" - Angel took an interest.
"Oh yes!" -   God answered,  nodding his head, - "she can even  argue and prove. God forbid!"
Angel put his hand on her  forehead and after a few minutes he noted: "Her eyes spring a leak!"
"It is not a leak. It is tears" - God corrected the Angel.
"Tears? What for?" - Angel wondered.
" She can show her joy, pain, disillusionment, pride, love and loneliness through her tears" - God sighed.

Women amaze man with women' strength.
They raise children, stand  pain and difficulties but their  eyes are shining with joy, love and happiness.
They weep when they are so happy and they smile when they want to cry.
They bravely fight for their belief and  justice and they are not afraid to sustain a defeat.
They don't take the answer "no" if they know a better decision.
Woman is created of man's rib, not of his foot - to be oppressed by him, not of his head - to excel man. She  was out from man's side to be with him side by side. She was out from under man's arm to be protected by him.  She was out from side where man's heart is to be loved by him.

Olga.
Excuse me for my English

[William3rd]

and then God created blondes

[Shadow]

Ever since God created the first woman, a woman will cost a man a rib from his body. (Dutch verb for something being expensive  )

After Adam met Eve he went to God.
"God why did you make her so beautiful ? "
"So that you will love her"
"But why did you make her stupid ? "
"So that she will also love you".

[catzenmouse]

God, creating woman, was working overtime sixth day.

7 days to create the world, 6 days creating woman, and probably about 10 minutes during a break to come up with man... 

[LEGAL]

"But why did you make her stupid ? "
"So that she will also love you".

the version of women 

God said Adam and Eve : " I have for you two presents"
Adam:" What is first?"
God: "To urinate standing on your feet"
Adam: " It is for me! Please! Please!"
Eva:  "I don't mind"
While Adam was urinating with joy on Eden's trees, Eve asked God:"What is second present?"
"The brain, my daughter, it is the brain" - God answered.
 

[LEGAL]

Adam and Eve had a perfect marriage.
Adam did not hear from Eve about all men with whom Eve could be happy. Eve did not hear from Adam that his mother cooked better than Eve. 

[BC]

God said Adam and Eve : " I have for you two presents"
Adam:" What is first?"
God: "To urinate standing on your feet."
Adam: " It is for me! Please! Please!"
Eva:  "I don't mind if you give me a toilet seat."
God: "Agreed."

So it began, the greatest of arguments between man and woman..
- and that women only negotiate with God.

[LEGAL]

 

What nationality were Adam and Eve?
Most certainly Russian! Only Russians can run about barefooted and bare assed, without a roof over their heads, where there is only one apple for two and nevertheless cry out that they are in paradise!


A lawyer, a surgeon, a builder and a communist were having an argument about whose trade was older.
'When God condemned Adam and Eve and exiled them from paradise,' said the lawyer, 'that was a legal act! So my profession is the oldest.'
'But please,' the surgeon said, 'before that God created Eve from Adam's rib. And that was a surgical operation! So my profession is older.'
'Forgive me,' said the builder, 'but a little bit earlier than that God created the world, he constructed it. So my profession is the oldest. Because as is known, there was only chaos before that.'
'And who created chaos?' the communist exclaimed triumphantly. 'Certainly, we communists!'

[Gator]

God said Adam and Eve : " I have for you two presents"
Adam:" What is first?"
God: "To urinate standing on your feet."
Adam: " It is for me! Please! Please!"

I heard a slightly different version of God's two presents. God was reaching into a bag, finding parts, and alternating in giving them to Adam and Eve, such as strong arms for Adam and breasts for Eve.  When down to two presents, God reached into the bag and held up a penis.  Adam argued vehemently that he should have it because it enabled him to pee standing up, a necessary position to always be ready for danger and to protect Eve.  Eve, having previously been given the pacifist and nurturing hormones, did not protest.  Then God said, "Let us see what present is left for Eve".  Reaching into the bag, he pulled out.... "multiple orgasms."

[Mir]

One day God said to Adam ‘I have decided to make a companion for you.It will be called woman. She will cook your food,wash your cloths,sing for you,never have a headach,she will think of you as the wisest and greatest and comply with your every wish with a smile. However she will cost you an arm and a leg’

Adam: ‘ Uh that is a bit too much to pay, Hmmm what can I get for a rib?’

[BC]

As it relates to 'little head thinking', I thought this one was cute..

Adam and Eve were standing opposite to each other when Adam got his first erection. The two watched, astonished, until Adam suddenly exclaimed, “Move aside -- I don't know how far this is gonna go.”

[LEGAL]

In the beginning God created the universe. Then God commanded - "Let there be light" - and light appeared. God said - "It is good".
Then God created the man, making man to be like himself and said "It is good"
God created the woman... he looked at the woman and said "Oh, my God ! But if she  make up her face it will be good..."

[Wist]

 "Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."
 
"For the woman, the man is a means: the end is always the child."

" Women are considered deep - why? Because one can never discover any bottom to them. Women are not even shallow."

" If a woman possesses manly virtues one should run away from her; and if she does not possess them she runs away from herself. "
   

Friedrich Nietzsche