Sexually Transmitted Diseases / Infections

[msmob]

As this forum deals with dating in other countries and one form of an STD keeps getting mentioned - I thought it was time to discuss this subject.

I WELL remember a UK 'Public Info Film' concerning AIDS - with the voice of the recently departed Sir John Hurt



"Who could be such an idiot to risk getting an STD?", I thought ..


A few of us have engaged in the pursuit of an FSU partner and this is not 'normal dating' - things can happen faster.


There was a time when being tested for HIV was common - I've even been tested in a now EU nation - to get a loan ! Illegal, as it transpired.


If you want to work in Russia - as a UK citizen - it may apply to other nations - you need a HIV 'all clear ' test.


Some nations have higher rates of STDs / STIs than others and the thing to remember is ...

When you have sex with someone - you are having sex with everyone they .. and their previous partners have had sex with


I have antibodies present for Herpes Simplex Virus I/II.

I was STUPID, once, and did not stick to my rule of having a test before 'games for two' without taking precautions / exercising 'restraint' until the 'all clear'.

Apparently, in the UK - 8/10 people who have the anti-bodies present for HSV1/II don't even know they could be passing on the infection.. it is HIGHLY infectious.

Source UK National Health Service: http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Genital-herpes/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Finding out I had these anti-bodies present - though like most people - not showing symptoms - was a shock - but I resolved that I still loved my partner and couldn't see a time where we might not be in a monogamous relationship / thinking of having kids

I had previously rejected a very nice Russian lady who had had the courage to tell me that she was HIV   HSV1/II  positive - so it was ironic to be infected with the same affliction, later. Karma ?

It's been particularly revealing - as to the reaction of any potential sexual partner - and I've had ladies that I thought worthy long-term partners knock me back, too !

As I'm an older git, this - ultimately - hasn't been a real issue - and a good test of who's really into you- when they are told.  But if you are younger - HSV  - or worse  - could ruin a pregnancy - or your life-style .

It's not difficult to get tested in the UK / Russia and the results come through fast..

Best not to repent at leisure ... 



 









 

[BillyB]

I had previously rejected a very nice Russian lady who had had the courage to tell me that she was HIV 1/II positive - so it was ironic to be infected with the same affliction, later. Karma ?

HIV is serious stuff. What does your wife think about you having it?

[msmob]

HIV is serious stuff. What does your wife think about you having it?

Indeed it is ..I'm wondering in the light of previous threads if your question about what she might feel is serious ?!

[GQBlues]

I had previously rejected a very nice Russian lady who had had the courage to tell me that she was HIV 1/II positive - so it was ironic to be infected with the same affliction, later. Karma ?

HIV is serious stuff. What does your wife think about you having it?

 

Sheeesh...

Herpes and HIV are both viruses, but they're not the same thing...I was under the impression that moby is stricken only with the Herpes Simplex Virus I/II? Are you now saying moby is also carrying the Human Immunodeficiency Virus?

[jone]

No.  That's Moby doing another mis-direction.  He has Herpes not HIV, unless there is something that he isn't telling us.  It is amazing how he skews everything he says.  Billy is smart enough that he knows Moby's tricks that he would not get caught saying Moby has HIV.

Trying to read a Moby post is like trying to control a burlap bag full of Tom cats.

[GQBlues]

I understand, which is why I tried to get clarification. His first post (that I quoted and had on bold) seems to imply he does...last I read about HIV, the very vast majority of them have the HSV I/II, too. Not sure of the relationship the other way around.

Holy Guacamole Batman! Adds another bulleted point on my infamous list...

[Boethius]

 

Sheeesh...

Herpes and HIV are both viruses, but they're not the same thing...I was under the impression that moby is stricken only with the Herpes Simplex Virus I/II? Are you now saying moby is also carrying the Human Immunodeficiency Virus?

.

I suspect he meant HSV. HIV II is not very common in the West.

[BillyB]

Don't know if Moby misspelled the acronym HSV or playing with us or is actually serious. With Moby, anything and everything is possible. Next thing may be an announcement of full blown AIDS.

HIV II is not very common in the West.

Maybe Moby got involved with a girl from Africa?

I was STUPID, once, and did not stick to my rule of having a test before 'games for two' without taking precautions / exercising 'restraint' until the 'all clear'.

Serious question. With a woman you're dating, how do you suggest blood test before actual sex? When two people are in heat, the suggestion of a blood test and waiting a few days or weeks for the results may spoil the moment. There are all kinds of risk getting involved with another person including the transmission of sexual diseases since we tend to exchange bodily fluids during intimate moments.

[GQBlues]

Well, one thing is certain, his social acumen is on par with his mathematical acuity. 

[Trenchcoat]

Good on you Moby for bringing this thread up, its something we should all be concerned with so this could really help us all and I think it takes real guts to admit to an infection in the aid of helping others. Hopefully, more relief and perhaps even a cure will come forth to help those with these infections but until then its something we all need to think about when on this journey. I know in the Ukraine, rates of HIV are supposedly high, but no real concrete figures are really possible. I also remember from years back a documentary on St. Petersburg that there was a real problem there (think it was in the few years post fall of the USSR) and a lot of those with it ended sleeping rough as they were outcast from society. Possibly its gotten better since but I don't really know.

Time over again Moby what would you have done differently to protect yourself? Your system of getting the girl checked out first seemed a good one (not sure how this goes down though) but ultimately fell foul of the sexual urges. I'm taking it you were not wearing any protection at the time? (I know that this is apparently effective 99 percent of the time). Indeed I can see that sometimes putting one on might be awkward if things are going full pelt. Do you think it would be best to go out with a girl with one already on for a date just on case? What would you recommend? 

[jone]

Another Moby misdirect.  It is possible to become infected with the Herpes virus, even while wearing a condom:

http://www.stdcheck.com/blog/stds-you-can-get-while-wearing-a-condom/

[GQBlues]

What a chore!

Seriously, it's not as if it isn't a challenge in of itself to sift through different profiles to find someone you can gel with, but to add another ingredient into the mix and sift through even deeper into that lot for someone willing to submit themselves to you in this condition.

Does one just breaks the ice on the intro letter and say. "Hi! I'm the x-man from London and I have HSV I/II (possibly HIV infected, too), would you like to get to each other (me)?".

How does all the other nuances fit into all of these? WMVM v WOVO. Apartment v Hotel? What if you're planned trip happened during those 'explosive moments'? etc...

Is there a MOB website in the FSU specifically for STD bearing folks?

[Gator]

Moby, Is this the woman who infected you with herpes?

[msmob]

Moby, Is this the woman who infected you with herpes?

We haven't met - but such is the infectious nature of the virus ... Stand in the corner wearing the Dunce's hat with BillyB

SERIOUSLY - I apologise for posting that a potential partner told me that she had HIV when I meant HSV.  A major howler..

From my perspective, I was trying to be serious and certainly not 'misdirect' ...

Well done Trenchcoat ! This thread is aimed at those who are still in the dating phase ...but it might serve as a warning to those seeking 'away games'...

[msmob]

Maybe Moby got involved with a girl from Africa?

There was a Zimbabwean farmer's daughter back in the late 70's - good question .. I wonder what happened to her?

Serious question. With a woman you're dating, how do you suggest blood test before actual sex? When two people are in heat, the suggestion of a blood test and waiting a few days or weeks for the results may spoil the moment. There are all kinds of risk getting involved with another person including the transmission of sexual diseases since we tend to exchange bodily fluids during intimate moments.

Very illuminating how our BillyB included a 'we' in summarising sexual activities..!

As a result of having the HSV 1/II antibodies present , I simply can't behave as you suggest.  It is a moral and (legal - in most nations? )  obligation to advise of the presence of such an affliction. As I said, 8/10 carriers may not even REALISE they have it.

The way I date - Write a few, narrow 'em down, WO - it is easy to feel that such intimate moments are likely and offer the chance for the lady to get tested BEFORE meeting in reality...if she is still 'game on'

When I dated locally, I mentioned it during the first date - if we got along. 


As Jone correctly points out - use of a condom is not guaranteed to stop the spread during intercourse - as there is still skin to skin contact with an area with many mucous membranes... 

I dated a lady, locally, who read up on the subject and produced surgical gloves !..

If THAT thought puts you off ... that is the degree one might have to compromise with a future partner....  'Games for two' with drastically reduced variations

If you choose a partner who is also HSV 1/II positive and they also haven't shown symptoms - there is a risk one can still infect each other .... 

[Trenchcoat]

The way I date - Write a few, narrow 'em down, WO - it is easy to feel that such intimate moments are likely and offer the chance for the lady to get tested BEFORE meeting in reality...if she is still 'game on'

As Jone correctly points out - use of a condom is not guaranteed to stop the spread during intercourse - as there is still skin to skin contact with an area with many mucous membranes... 

I'm not sure if I would trust a woman I've just met soley on her test. It could be something she printed off herself - made up or done it with an infected person after the test. Test might even be inaccurate. I would wear a condom anyway until I was co-habiting and got to know her & tested.

So I guess what we are really calling for here is some kind of latex underpants with an integrated condom piece at the front 

[msmob]

I'm not sure if I would trust a woman I've just met soley on her test. It could be something she printed off herself - made up or done it with an infected person after the test. Test might even be inaccurate. I would wear a condom anyway until I was co-habiting and got to know her & tested.

TC - if you are that paranoid then only having the test done together - in a place you can trust the Doctors / admins / lab technicians - is going to work for you !


Seriously, if your intended 'games for two' participant was already infected / carrier - she'd surely just block you - and move on ? 

So I guess what we are really calling for here is some kind of latex underpants with an integrated condom piece at the front 

Hmm, Not such a daft idea - I wonder if it has been done ?! Shall we go 50/50 on the profits / investment ?

[Trenchcoat]

TC - if you are that paranoid then only having the test done together - in a place you can trust the Doctors / admins / lab technicians - is going to work for you !


Seriously, if your intended 'games for two' participant was already infected / carrier - she'd surely just block you - and move on ? 


Hmm, Not such a daft idea - I wonder if it has been done ?! Shall we go 50/50 on the profits / investment ?

You  mean its best to raise the idea reasonably early so as to clear that hurdle with girl? I mean not too early or un-diplomatically of course.

Yep can go 50/50 on that

[msmob]

You  mean its best to raise the idea reasonably early so as to clear that hurdle with girl? I mean not too early or un-diplomatically of course.

I believe I said that I bring it up as soon as it looks like we will meet and have clicked

Yep can go 50/50 on that

[HoundDaddyLee]

Trenchcoat,


You now have another risk you are latching on to. Not scammers, but women with STD's. I have to ask, are you an IT Security guy in real life? They are the most risk adverse people I have ever met and you would give them a run for their money.


Life is risk. If you don't want any risk, you will not live a full life. I will put this in an indelicate way. Stop being a pussy! Go to an FSU country, use your common sense, don't see scammers, gold diggers, etc around every corner. Don't expect every woman to be infected with an STD. You are fortunate. You live 8 hours closer than those of us on the East Coast of the US. You should be able to make a trip often. Do it.


HDL

[jone]

Ultimately, if anyone is going to have multiple sexual partners they are at risk for STDs.  It is possible to get herpes from a single sexual encounter, but not likely.  Unless your partner's name is Derek Jeter.  For some reason, this guy has infected more famous women than any other individual I have ever heard of.



When I was in college, I met a woman I liked and she informed me that she had the virus.  She was so afflicted by the stigma of having herpes, that, even though I was willing to be her lover, providing we took precautions, that she would not ever consider having sex.  We dated for awhile and then drifted apart.  I heard, later, that she met someone who also had herpes and that they married.

In the United States, certain laws are in place that include the forced testing for STDs for prostitutes who are arrested.  While this has gotten many possible threats off the streets, it does not address the likelihood of becoming infected through casual sex.    Such laws are not in place in Eastern European countries. 

Ultimately, there will always be a risk with anyone you date.  I have always tried to limit my exposure by casually questionning a prospective partner on her sexual history.  If I feel that she has been promiscuous, then I will back off from an intimate relationship.  While this did not account for all possible partners, I could never bring myself to make her get tested prior to being intimate.  Perhaps I was playing Russian Roulette.  Conversely, I did carry with me documentation as to when I was last tested and, prior to any intimacy, explained that I was disease free and was willing to share such documentation.

Men going to Eastern Europe should understand the risks and have an appropriate strategy to minimize them.  But while the risks may be minimized, they will never be eliminated.  That's life.

[msmob]

Ultimately, if anyone is going to have multiple sexual partners they are at risk for STDs.  It is possible to get herpes from a single sexual encounter, but not likely.

Hmm, if only that were true ..

I can think of several folk in monogamous  relationships who thought they were only having sex with their partner ..

[jone]

Hmm, if only that were true ..

I can think of several folk in monogamous  relationships who thought they were only having sex with their partner ..

I worded that poorly. What I mean to say is that if you only have sex once with an individual, the likelihood of catching Herpes is rather remote.  Less than getting pregnant.  But I agree.  If the virus is present and you are in a committed relationship with someone who has it, then, ultimately, you will probably wind up with it.  As I understand the tendencies, this is the MOST likely scenario of becoming infected. 

[msmob]

I worded that poorly. What I mean to say is that if you only have sex once with an individual, the likelihood of catching Herpes is rather remote.  Less than getting pregnant.  But I agree.  If the virus is present and you are in a committed relationship with someone who has it, then, ultimately, you will probably wind up with it.  As I understand the tendencies, this is the MOST likely scenario of becoming infected.

Thank you, Jone - for explaining

Some involved in research concerning Genital Herpes reckon 25 percent of folks might exhibit symptoms at some time - these extrapolated stats are based on UK / US / Canadian / Oz info ..

http://www.cureresearch.com/g/genital_herpes/stats-country_printer.htm

These stats don't have figures for HSV for the USA - but suggest some wild variations in rates in Europe - Moldova being particularly bad ..and the UK having more incidents than the RF !

http://onlinedoctor.superdrug.com/std-us-eu


Certainly makes one think that dating is a potential minefield

[GQBlues]

Unless your partner's name is Derek Jeter

CRAP! There goes Hannah Davis!! What a waste!

What I mean to say is that if you only have sex once with an individual, the likelihood of catching Herpes is rather remote.  Less than getting pregnant.

Hhhmmm...somehow I knew those O-N-Ss had more than one benefit back when I was single.

'When you don't linger, there's no need to wiggle!"