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Author Topic: First Phone Conversation!  (Read 17858 times)

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Offline Photo Guy

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« on: February 05, 2005, 04:18:58 AM »
Finally -on my fourth attempt, I got a hold of her on the
telephone, along with a Moscow interpreter. It went well.
The only problem -I had to wake up at 4:30am to do
this connection. Well, it was worth it, and I told her it was.
She seems easy to talk to. An overall favorable impression.
At first it was odd using an interpreter. Do you remember
your first phone call? I wasn't sure how many sentences to
convey, before stopping to let her translate. I soon got the
hang of it. (Don't use expressions like 'hang of it.') Ha.
Yes, I replied that I liked long fingernails. Let the fantasies
continue...
       Next step will be to meet her in Oooh-kry-eena, probably
Kiev. Then maybe she'll take me home to her mom and dad
in Mariupol if I pass the love test. Hey, should be a fun
adventure and it already is.
      Did I mention I got up at 4:30!?
...back to bed now.     Later,  -doug

Offline Goombah

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« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2005, 04:35:45 AM »
4:30am?  You got to sleep that late?

When I was courting one lady I got up at 3am and we ICQed until about 7am almost every day.  Sure made getting to the occassional 6am business meeting easy...

Kevin C.

ps. I'm still friends with that lady.  We spent 7 hours ICQing on Christmas day (I'm recently divoced and was all alone that day).

Offline Bruce

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« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2005, 06:34:34 AM »
Good to hear your conversation went well.  Get used to getting up early or staying up very late for telephone conversations. 
"A word is dead when it is said, some say.  I say it just begins to live that day."  Emily Dickinson

Offline Photo Guy

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« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2005, 09:03:21 AM »
Yeah I got up at 4:30am, which translates as
'slept until 4:30am'. ;)  I immediately fixed myself a
large mug of Sumatran and semi-woke up. I had gotten
to bed just before midnight. I had worked late.
   At first it was strange because I had 'pictured' her with a
high soprano voice. Instead, she had an alto voice
in a range similar to, say, Elizabeth Taylor. I brought
out my arsenal of Russian, which isn't much, like
How's life? What's new? Ty klassnaya, etc.
Before the call, I was all freaked-out because I hadn't
received an email from her in the usual 5 or 6 days.
I was starting to feel dumped. She says everything is
fine between us, so that was a relief. I get the impression
she has the busy work schedule of two people. I found out
I can't phone her when she gets home from work because
it's too late for her. I need to find out if I can call her in
her mornings. That would be easier for me - around
10pm to midnight my time.
        She says she will be away next week at Kiev at
a business convention. She works as a beautician/manicurist.
Am I paranoid in thinking she might be meeting some foreign guy?

How do I approach the subject? If she's being deceptive,
I can't really call her on it. We haven't proclaimed 'exclusivity' yet.
I guess I should assume she's communicating with other guys
and being pursued by them or vice versa. But, I really get the
impression she's devoted to me. Maybe that's just part of
the mating game. I dunno.

I have to decide whether or not I'm ready to ask her to make
this relationship exclusive, or to keep my options open.   -doug
« Last Edit: February 05, 2005, 09:05:00 AM by Photo Guy »

Offline KenC

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« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2005, 09:29:32 AM »
Doug,

Try to harness that over active imagination you have!  LOL.  IMHO, it is foolish to ask for exclusivity before you actually meet, but that won't stop you fom asking questions.  I choose to go "don't ask, don't tell" with my wife before making a final comitment.  Just remember this is a marathon, not a sprint as it takes quite some time to complete.  I also choose to lead a normal life here (and that included dating), while I hoped that things would work out between Lena and I.  There just is so much that is out of your control in this process, that I didn't want to get my hopes too high.  I think that the normality of our relationship was helpful in establishing a solid base for our future relationship.

KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline BC

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« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2005, 09:40:43 AM »
[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:
Quote


I have to decide whether or not I'm ready to ask her to make
this relationship exclusive, or to keep my options open.   -doug


Takes real love to make such a commitment. If it's important now to her (probably not) she will tell ya. Enjoy but don't get involved with those pictures.. protect your emotional 'ass'ets.

Offline Photo Guy

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« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2005, 09:57:01 AM »
Quote from: KenC
Doug,

Try to harness that over active imagination you have!  LOL.  IMHO, it is foolish to ask for exclusivity before you actually meet, but that won't stop you fom asking questions.  I choose to go "don't ask, don't tell" with my wife before making a final comitment.  Just remember this is a marathon, not a sprint as it takes quite some time to complete.  I also choose to lead a normal life here (and that included dating), while I hoped that things would work out between Lena and I.  There just is so much that is out of your control in this process, that I didn't want to get my hopes too high.  I think that the normality of our relationship was helpful in establishing a solid base for our future relationship.

KenC

Ken, what is 'normality'? A final commitment is called
'marriage' right? I guess you're saying if I haven't made that
final commitment, I shouldn't think in terms of exclusivity.
Hey, maybe you're right. The 'don't ask, don't tell' strategy does make sense. I'll probably go with that.

BC,
I see exclusivity as a step before marriage. In the old
days it was called 'going steady' and I don't feel it
requires love, just a focused interest. But, as Ken says
in effect, you aren't committed unless you're married,
so why be that focused before marriage?

Involved with pictures? What do you mean???
We've done LOTS of emailing.    -doug

Offline BC

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« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2005, 10:15:39 AM »
Photo Guy,

You got it.. go with the 'don't tell' strategy.. women hate premature guys especially when requesting commitments.

Your question about pictures.. the golden rule - Don't fall in love with them, or emails IMHO.

Offline KenC

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« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2005, 06:14:16 AM »
[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:
Quote
Ken, what is 'normality'? A final commitment is called
'marriage' right? I guess you're saying if I haven't made that
final commitment, I shouldn't think in terms of exclusivity.
Hey, maybe you're right. The 'don't ask, don't tell' strategy does make sense. I'll probably go with that.

 -doug

What I meant by "normality" was that I treated my relationship with Lena as I would any relationship I had previously.  I didn't skip any steps like moving from introduction to marriage in a nano-second like some guys do in this process.  I tried my best to keep my courting of her as normal as it was possible.  I mean that what ever is normal for me. 

An example:  The first few days I was in Russia, I felt like a child, being led around by my interpreter.  That just aint me.  So I took charge.  I used my interpreter to do things I wanted to do rather than have the interpreter guide me to do things she thought I should do.  I had the interpreter take me around town to make arrangments for a romantic dinner at my flat with Lena because that is exactly what KenC would do at home for a date.  As it was the holidays, I also had my interpreter help me put together a gift basket for Lena's family.  (It never hurts to suck up to the parents)  This was very strange for everyone there, but very normal for me.  My goal was to show them who KenC was.  I was just being myself.

In a "normal" relationship people go through stages of development.  Aquaintences first, then friends, then lovers, then exclusive lovers, and then long term commitmented lovers (engaged and then married)  Mine was such a wonderful ride that I am happy that I didn't skip any of the steps.  I think a lot of guys f**k up by skipping steps.  If you move from meeting a woman directly into being engaged, you are introducing a whole bunch of unnecessary pressures on the relationship.  One might find some character flaws later that they don't like, but they are dismissed as tivial because of the engagement and pending marriage.  Where if you were not engaged, you might want to slow the relationship down or even end it.

KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline Photo Guy

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« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2005, 08:35:55 AM »
BC,
   Okee-dokee. I will not fall in love with a photo.
...but those emails...are so delicious.  -doug

Ken,
Thanks for explaining the normality thang. Sage advice. I'll try to take
it nice and slow. At this point I'd say my biggest concern is
that I'll meet Larisa in Kiev and there won't
be any chemistry, -after all of these warm thoughtful emails.
THAT would be a bummer, dude. But chemistry is a
funny thing. I've seen it happen instantly, as in a love at
first sight soulmate thing, and then I've also slowly
acquired chemistry with a woman after knowing her for
a long time. Both ways can happen.    -doug

Offline jb

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« Reply #10 on: February 09, 2005, 10:45:44 PM »
PhotoGuy;

It's been 5 days since you attempted to make that 1st call, have you considered when you will call again?  I'd say it's about time to do so.  Calling again now will keep your name fresh, and at the top of her list, just in case she is receiving e-mails from other suitors, and enough time has elapsed so that she won't think you are desperate.

BTW, phone calls will get super expensive if you don't get yourself a good calling plan of some kind, the cheapest are the VoIP systems that are getting popular.  You should shop around a bit before enriching MaBell any more than necessary.

PS.  Don't forget, Valentines Day is just around the corner, a single rose would be a nice touch with a card, if you can arrainge it.

Offline Photo Guy

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« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2005, 08:06:35 AM »
Quote from: jb
PhotoGuy;

It's been 5 days since you attempted to make that 1st call, have you considered when you will call again?  I'd say it's about time to do so.  Calling again now will keep your name fresh, and at the top of her list, just in case she is receiving e-mails from other suitors, and enough time has elapsed so that she won't think you are desperate.

BTW, phone calls will get super expensive if you don't get yourself a good calling plan of some kind, the cheapest are the VoIP systems that are getting popular.  You should shop around a bit before enriching MaBell any more than necessary.

PS.  Don't forget, Valentines Day is just around the corner, a single rose would be a nice touch with a card, if you can arrainge it.

My first try was the 31st. I finally got her on the 5th, at 2:30 pm
her time. Coincidentally, the 5 roses I sent her had just arrived
that day. What is the most economical way to do a 3-way
phone call with a UW and translator? I'm considering a
trip to Ukraine in the beginning of April. I'll think about
your idea about going to her city.    -doug

Offline RacerX

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« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2005, 04:04:12 PM »
[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:
Quote
Yeah I got up at 4:30am,  

 I found out
I can't phone her when she gets home from work because
it's too late for her. I need to find out if I can call her in
her mornings.
        She says she will be away next week at Kiev at
a business convention. She works as a beautician/manicurist.
Am I paranoid in thinking she might be meeting some foreign guy?

 I dunno.






Photo Guy, Pleeeease, can you act like a man or what?

If she's interested, have her get up at 4.30!!
And, yes, when a RW tells you she will be gone at a "business convention" we are talking "monkey business!"

Sounds like this woman is simply playing the field, and you!

« Last Edit: February 10, 2005, 04:06:00 PM by RacerX »

Offline Photo Guy

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« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2005, 04:19:02 PM »
Quote from: RacerX

Photo Guy, Pleeeease, can you act like a man or what?
If she's interested, have her get up at 4.30!!
And, yes, when a RW tells you she will be gone at a "business convention" we are talking "monkey business!"
Sounds like this woman is simply playing the field, and you!


Dick,
Thanks! I knew it! I knew it!
That was much needed excellent advice. I'll always
remember this.  -doug L.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2005, 04:22:00 PM by Photo Guy »

Offline RacerX

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« Reply #14 on: February 11, 2005, 03:48:23 AM »
photo guy,

I am joking!  The day I tell another ADULT what to do with his feelings...well heck, I'd be just like jb :P

But seriously, that 2 week-period just struck a note in me...sounded like something I've heard before.


Offline jb

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« Reply #15 on: February 12, 2005, 01:30:24 PM »
Quote
well heck, I'd be just like jb


Only in your dreams.......

Offline Son of Clyde

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« Reply #16 on: February 14, 2005, 07:06:36 PM »
My lady tells me I am staying up way too late to phone her and I should get more sleep. Maybe I have found someone who is looking out for my health.

I hope RW can deal with insomniacs because I am usually awake until 1am on most nights.

Offline Albert

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« Reply #17 on: February 15, 2005, 06:20:14 AM »
Ken C has it exactly correct.  This is number 9 (I think) on Dan's Tablets.  Treat International dating just like domestic dating.

Photo Guy, you are getting way ahead of the game here.  There can be no exclusivity because of the distance between you two.  Most certainly the business trip is BS.  Beauticians do not go on these sort of trips.  This is most likely a trip to be a hooker at a business convention.

And are you going halfway around the world to hook up with a beautician.  All this talk about the RW/UW being superior to AW because of their superior education and all that!!

Further, by dealing with a woman who has little English, you are just lowering your odds of success.

Son of Clyde:  There is no such thing as 'RW' in your implication that they are homogeneous re sleep hours.  Just like any other group, there are early risers and late risers.  But this is a very important consideration that has screwed up many a romance . . .  i.e. when the partners have vastly different sleep patterns.

Offline Photo Guy

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« Reply #18 on: February 15, 2005, 12:19:15 PM »
Quote from: albert

Photo Guy, you are getting way ahead of the game here.  There can be no exclusivity because of the distance between you two.  Most certainly the business trip is BS.  Beauticians do not go on these sort of trips.  This is most likely a trip to be a hooker at a business convention.
     And are you going halfway around the world to hook up with a beautician.  All this talk about the RW/UW being superior to AW because of their superior education and all that!!
    Further, by dealing with a woman who has little English, you are just lowering your odds of success.

I read this response from Albert before heading off to
work this morning. It's really quite depressing. I've been in
a blue funk all day. The woman I've been emailing for ten weeks
is '...a hooker at a business convention', according to Albert.
Not only that, but Albert tells me her beautician profession
is also sub-par, implying that we should strive for a wife who
has better educational credentials. She has stated that she is
trained as a nurse, but who knows if that is the truth? Albert
has me thinking otherwise. Who is this 'Albert' guy anyway?!
What gives him the right to make these rude accusations?
Does he realize how obnoxious he is? Or is it okay because
he's anonymous? Yeah, that must be it. Thanks Albert.
You've ruined my day. So, what should I do now?
Tell her I suspect she's a whore? Send her a Dear Jane letter?
     -doug L. , waiting for some brilliant advice
 

Offline BC

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« Reply #19 on: February 15, 2005, 01:09:46 PM »
Photo,

Forums should be like the digestive tract, all kinds of things go in both good and bad.  The body will absorb what it needs and the rest is well..

Offline Bruno

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« Reply #20 on: February 15, 2005, 02:13:12 PM »
 

Hey Doug, wake-up ... the nightware is finish...

You are writing 10 week with these woman, you know her better of us... and if you have no see red flags with her, let go and try...

A hooker go not write you during 10 week, she go suck your money in one night... during the "business convention"...

And about profession, don't worry... in FSU, several woman make high study but she don't find the good work... Galina is only a sale woman but she have study economic and management... she need to work for pay the bill...

Have a good day

 

Offline KenC

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« Reply #21 on: February 15, 2005, 02:46:19 PM »
Photo,

Chill out a little.  When you ask an open forum questions, as you often do, you have to accept that you will get an answer or two that you won't like.  I have to say that I thought much the same as Albert when I first read your post.  Not the hooker part though, I do think that that is a stretch.  As for Albert himself, any man that has dated 150 RW has my attention.

KenC
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Offline BC

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« Reply #22 on: February 15, 2005, 03:24:26 PM »
At ease! Not trying to bash but there's a big difference between meeting and really dating 150 women imho :D

Offline jb

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« Reply #23 on: February 15, 2005, 05:38:26 PM »
PhotoGuy,

I hate to tell you this, but there is a real probability that you have been told a fib, or two, about what she does for a living, and about her education level.

Based upon what I personally know, beauticians do not go out of town much.  There just isn't a two week convention of beauticians anywhere in the FSU.  If she told you that, she was pulling your chain.

Let me tell you a little about "higher education" in the FSU.  If a person tells you they are a graduate of,,, say,, "Moscow State University", or "Saint Petersburg University", and holds a MS in Physics or Math, this person will not be earning a living as a beautician.  A person who works as a beautician is probably a grad from a local "institute", not a university or real college.  Back in the bad old days, the Sov's had lot's of "institutes" which turned out fodder for state run  industry.  These were people who needed jobs, and the State would provide them, maybe in a salt mine or some other low skill job..  But at least they were working, and they had a degree.  It was part of the sham, window dressing, which was revealed after the fall, but there's folks out there with "degrees" who now work in beauty salons, or other nothing jobs,  because they aren't qualified to do anything else.  They were trained for the salt mine.... Period.

Don't get me wrong,,, there are lots of really qualified graduates in the FSU who would make excellent wives.  But there are also a ton of women who have meaningless degrees which will never get a job in the US as anything.  Sorry, that's just the honesty of it.  The shop girl devuska who holds a degree like this is often not qualified to be anything but a housewife.  She may not be a hooker, but she isn't well educated by our standards.

Offline Frank

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« Reply #24 on: February 15, 2005, 07:16:55 PM »
doug L.

Don't worry about albert.  Yes, women do take trips together. There are supplies that they may need to buy in Kiev.  Remember; Kiev is a country within a country.  You can find things there that cannot be found anywhere else.

 Frequently the women travel together for safety.  If you were a woman, would you like sleeping in a sleeper car with three guys or some women? As far as your gal being into hair, that is fine.  Frequently, these women cannot find work in the original field they were trained for.  Besides, being a beautician is honorable work.  Not all women can be lawyers, doctors or accountants.

A big lesson I had to learn was to ignore most people who would like to give you advice.  Be selective in who you listen to.  Otherwise, you will become paranoid.  Most of all, use your brain.  It will guide you properly.  Common sense will dictate this.

Take the time to know your lady.  If she is a hooker, she will probably get tired of you soon.  A good lady will hang on for dear life if she things you are a good man.

Frank

 
When in doubt, run!!!!!!!

 

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