Guide me..!! :)

[2tallbill]

A flight from Delhi to Moscow, in high season, is 30,000 rupees.    Unless you know the cost of living in India, you can't know what the OP can, or cannot, afford.

My husband's take? - "Russians believe they are superiour human beings.  Most would not deign to live in what they consider a third world country."

How about Ukrainians?, I asked.

"Pretty much the same."

Flying to Moscow is far cheaper than I thought. He still has to eat and sleep somewhere
besides a park bench. He would have a better chance if he was looking for somebody
his own age but the girls he was seeking in India thought he was too old. Few find true
love on their first trip and it takes time with boots on the ground to win a girls heart.

What he said he couldn't afford in India was a local wife although they have 6000
children that starve to death per day.

So he and his saintly, non-materialistic FSU wife that he discovered on a one week
wonder adventure won't be bothered by living in a third world country with a older
man who has far lesser income than the others in his caste social group?

Quite frankly, I don't believe that he can't find an excellent woman in India that would
love to have a husband and family. If he can't, why would his prospects be any better
in the FSU? I realize that the same could be asked of me but I would explain that I could
find plenty of American girls who liked me and my prospects (when I was single) I just
liked my prospects in Russia more.

I made 7 trips to the FSU before I found Angel Eyes and once I found her I made 4 trips
within one year to pursue her then she flew (at my expense) twice to the USA to visit me.
Even with far better luck and far cheaper travel expenses I can't imagine him duplicating
anything remotely close to what I did on his income.

[BillyB]

Excuses.... more excuses...........

Millions have survived this way.  I grew up with a single mother so I knew what was like to be 'poor' having no money at all, but I have never, not once, complain about it.   

Isn't being poor an excuse too? Most men on this forum are 40+ years old. We've had 20+ years to achieve something in our lives. What have you accomplished in your adult years? If you are currently poor, why should women consider you an ideal man to be their husband?


Let's take two 40 yo men who took different paths in life. One made bad decisions early in life. Was too lazy and played too many video games to succeed in college. Partied hard, engaged in irresponsible behavior spending all his money on bad habits such as drugs, alcohol, and gambling. Consequently he failed to show up for work everyday and bounced around from job to job always at the bottom of the totem pole. No stability in his life and no savings but somehow the last few years he worked up the ladder at McDonalds and became assistant manager. The other man studied hard, got a degree and invested wisely. He came to work everyday, showed responsibility and loyalty to the company and worked up the ladder to be a senior manager at a large company making good money. Both men are recently divorced and are in the market for another woman. Between the two, who deserves a quality woman? Is it possible one of the men don't deserve a woman at all? Life isn't fair to the poor and it shouldn't be. I didn't make up these rules. Why should a woman marry a man who made stupid decisions in life and accomplished little? Women living in the real world don't gauge success by the size of your heart and love you have to give them. They look at a man's earning power and the ability to provide a stable environment for them and kids. This is how life works and as men, we have to deal with reality or get passed up by our competition who can deal with it properly.


Now I'm not one to tell Sathyashrayan to give up his pursuit of RW. He knows better than us what his income can and can't do in India. What he has to realize is the value of his money outside of India isn't worth much, he has competition from Western men who make much more than he and live in more appealing countries, and that most RW would not marry a man possessing different skin color, religion and culture. Sathyashrayan may have just enough money to give the pursuit of RW one shot. As long as he's comfortable risking that kind of money and time for a pursuit with little chance of success, he can go for it. Sathyashrayan can increase his chances with RW if he improves his health, a 10 in charm, intelligence, manners, and personality. He can also be more appealing to RW and Indian women by working hard to get a better job and make more money. He implied Indian women want a man that makes more money than he's currently making. He can either accept reality and deal with it or ignore it and stay lonely.

[Larry1]

I all.. I am a male from southern part of India. Aged 37. After getting rejected by several girls from my own land due to high expectation for monthly Income and old in age, I have opened up my Idea of trying out my search beyond borders.

This has little or nothing to do with the OP's prospects for success in FSU, but I thought it might be interesting to people interested in international relationships. Some years ago I worked for a bit in India. Every morning at breakfast I would read "The Times of India". I was fascinated by their matrimonial ads. To the OP's remark, I noticed that Indian girls were not interested in guys where there was an age gap. If my memory is correct they typically seemed to tolerate at most a two year age gap.

Caste and religion were important to most people. Skin color was typically important, especially to guys. The four descriptors of skin color were very fair, fair, wheatish, and dusky. Dusky was not at all popular with the people who placed the ads. Education and job were extremely important, especially to the girls.  The ads would often specify not only what field was wanted but sometimes which university the guy got his degree from.

[zooble]

They look at a man's earning power and the ability to provide a stable environment for them and kids.

That's pretty spot on. In today's world, financial stability = brighter future for your kids. Which is in turn pretty much instinctual for most parents and even animals.

What he has to realize is the value of his money outside of India isn't worth much, he has competition from Western men who make much more than he

The first part says perfectly what I tried to say. He could be earning above average for someone in India but as soon as he tries to do international things then he's got money problems.

------

I think if he were a Westernised Indian living in a Western country (and not earning relatively less based on standards of living) then he'd have a fighting chance by bringing with him money, Western healthcare, Western education, Western culture, social status and anything else that may be coveted by a woman...  but would typically still find it hard due to his skin colour.

------

This guy could be one of the best husbands out there  (in the caring sense)  but he'd probably never get a chance to showcase it to a FSU woman due to all the reasons everyone has said above. If you can't see that then you're blinded by ideologies of how the world should be and not how the world currently is.

At the end of the day you just have to look at where the majority of FSU women are searching, and it's not India. They've already made up their minds on what they want and who they want (broadly speaking).

[Boethius]

In today's world, financial stability = brighter future for your kids.

Not necessarily.  Of all the factors I would look at in determining my children's success, financial stability would not be at the top of the list.


I guess one also needs to define success. 

[BillyB]

Of all the factors I would look at in determining my children's success, financial stability would not be at the top of the list.

Good parenting skills from a loving and caring father is probably at or near the top of the list for most sincere women when looking for a man to raise children successfully but unemployed men or men who make little will have little chance to display their parenting skills.

financial stability would not be at the top of the list.

Financial stability isn't at the top of the list for most sincere women but it's on the list and it's a deal breaker if a man can't provide financial stability.

[ML]

I think importantly, you mentioned “mail order bride” from a news article. I don't know what that article says but there is no such thing.

I disagree.  And especially with the Christmas season coming up.  You can order everything on the Internet.  And many items arrive postage free, and even return shipment might be free.

[Anotherkiwi]

All these comments are moot, anyway, because the OP hasn't been back since he signed off after his second post.

[Boethius]

He could be reading the thread without logging in.

[2tallbill]

All these comments are moot, anyway, because the OP hasn't been back since he signed off after his second post.

He was barking up the wrong tree. These threads are for the lurkers out there.
Right now we have 1178 guests most of which will never make a single post here.

[vwrw]

Good parenting skills from a loving and caring father is probably at or near the top of the list for most sincere women when looking for a man to raise children successfully but unemployed men or men who make little will have little chance to display their parenting skills.

I think many gainfully employed women whose husbands are stay at home dads would disagree with your assertion, Billy. They would have a gazillion of examples why their unemployed husbands are better care givers to their kids than anybody else

[/size]

Financial stability isn't at the top of the list for most sincere women but it's on the list and it's a deal breaker if a man can't provide financial stability.

I agree 100% that financial stability is at the top of the list for most women and men too. However, it is NOT a deal breaker anymore if a man can't provide financial stability. It was true for many in the past, but the modern women think differently. The modern women go for the men that satisfy their needs and wants. For example, gainfully employed women may prefer a sensitive and caring man over a bread winner.

I can feel this change of attitude toward what constitutes the right man. 10 years ago, a man who could not provide financial stability would have 0 chance on relationship with me. However, as my growth takes me closer to being a good money maker, I increasingly value more intellectually stimulating men who have high emotional IQ than financial stability providers. Fortunately for me,  Ray has everything - enviable intellectual capacity, high emotional IQ, and great money making skills.

[vwrw]

Not necessarily.  Of all the factors I would look at in determining my children's success, financial stability would not be at the top of the list.


I guess one also needs to define success.

There is an universal definition of success. It says: success is accomplishment of the established goal. Therefore, any person may be described as successful if s/he is good at accomplishing her or his goals. Great parents develop integrity in their kids and teach them to accomplish goals, leaving it to kids to find out what are going to be  their goals in life.


Can a man that is not a financial stability provider teach his kids to accomplish goals and develop integrity? Absolutely! As long as the man is good at achieving other goals, loving, and has good values, he can be a good parent.

[vwrw]

I all.. I am a male from southern part of India. Aged 37. After getting rejected by several girls from my own land due to high expectation for monthly Income and old in age, I have opened up my Idea of trying out my search beyond borders.

But why Russia?

Russian women will have even a higher expectation for monthly income than Indian women do. There are many poor countries in the world. You will have a better chance if you look for your bride in those countries.     Good luck!

[BillyB]

I think many gainfully employed women whose husbands are stay at home dads would disagree with your assertion, Billy. They would have a gazillion of examples why their unemployed husbands are better care givers to their kids than anybody else

FSU women have different needs compared to Western women. They can't come to a new country and take care of a man no matter how nice a guy he is. He can be a great father to her kids but that doesn't get them fed. Western women can financially support themselves and more but marrying a deadbeat husband isn't something to be proud about.

I had a part time truck driver who quit on me to become a full time mom. He married a woman from the Philippines. She worked 3 jobs and pumped out 4 of his kids. Most RW are too smart to get themselves into a situation like that. Guys who can't show the ability to financially support a family get no respect and will have little opportunity to show how good a parent they could become.

[vwrw]

FSU women have different needs compared to Western women. They can't come to a new country and take care of a man no matter how nice a guy he is. He can be a great father to her kids but that doesn't get them fed. Western women can financially support themselves and more but marrying a deadbeat husband isn't something to be proud about.

I had a part time truck driver who quit on me to become a full time mom. He married a woman from the Philippines. She worked 3 jobs and pumped out 4 of his kids. Most RW are too smart to get themselves into a situation like that. Guys who can't show the ability to financially support a family get no respect and will have little opportunity to show how good a parent they could become.

I believe many FSU women can marry a nice guy who struggles to make living. A half of my Russian speaking friends started working within 3 months after their arrival. There are many women in Russia who believe they will find a way to make a living in their new countries. Moreover, not all FSU women have abound choice of admirers. Some will settle for whoever they get and will make kids with them.


Yes, FSU women have different need. Yet, their needs will change as they learn to live in their new country. Many of these women will realize that they can earn themselves enough money to feed their families.


My point is that I respect men who have chosen to be stay at home dads. Raising kids successfully and keeping peace and order in the household is a difficult task. As the ability of women to become a bread winner grows, more and more of us will look for guys who can be great at this task to love them and to cherish them.   

[BillyB]

 I agree some RW are willing to be a major contributor to their family's financial security and will marry a nice guy who makes little but if the guy is too stupid to advance in life or too lazy to work hard, he'll be on the fast track to divorce.

[vwrw]

My point is that I respect men who have chosen to be stay at home dads. Raising kids successfully and keeping peace and order in the household is a difficult task. As the ability of women to become a bread winner grows, more and more of us will look for guys who can be great at this task to love them and to cherish them.

In fact, this trend is already going on in Russia. Most of my female friends who got married during last 5 years or so married younger guys and did not mind being a major contributors to their family's budgets. To them, it is more valuable that their husbands are willing to undertake a big share of the household duties and kids upbringing.   

[vwrw]

I agree some RW are willing to be a major contributor to their family's financial security and will marry a nice guy who makes little but if the guy is too stupid to advance in life or too lazy to work hard, he'll be on the fast track to divorce.

Sure Billy, nobody wants a stupid and lazy life partner. And choosing to be a care giver, to devote your life to raising kids, and to have a big heart filled with love to do that does NOT equal to being a stupid and lazy man.

[BillyB]

Sure Billy, nobody wants a stupid and lazy life partner. And choosing to be a care giver, to devote your life to raising kids, and to have a big heart filled with love to do that does NOT equal to being a stupid and lazy man.

As fast as men and women make decisions in this endeavor mistakes happen. Women can reduce their risk by marrying a man who accomplished something in his life over a man who never advance from sweeping floors for 20 years. The time it takes to truly learn if someone has a big enough heart is more time than what the average person in this endeavor makes on marrying somebody. We can't  always deal with ideal situations so we make adjustments to live in an imperfect world.

[ML]

I agree some RW are willing to be a major contributor to their family's financial security and will marry a nice guy who makes little . . .

Ochka is the only one of the two of us who earns a paycheck.

I told her that it is her job to make sure I can have my daily beer.

She says she is OK with that, and is proud that she can do it.

I haven't yet told her about the new car that I want; or maybe it will be a backhoe.

[sathyashrayan]

First of all my apology for not coming back to this forum. Notifications went to my spam folder. After reading two replies without mail  notification and the replies was not encouraging I thought this thread does not get prolonged further. But after reading some replies today, I realized that I am wrong..

I am not making a reply for each and every post. But I will put a consolidated reply.

For those who makes racial comments on my nationality by judging some newspapers. Remember that those newspapers are funded from outside India (paid media). Nothing is true that comes on the newspapers and TV. Ground reality is different and I have no interest to prove that to them.

Some says that RW dont prefer brown skin. After my little observation around, I found out that no one has ever judged a women’s formula of Love. The spark could happen in their heart. Its will be a surprise . Skin color does not initiate the spark of seduction.

Some says that I can not even make a travel to meet a RW. Yes, russia is very far from my place compared to thai and all southeast asia. Reaching SE Asia is easier and cheap for me. But I have changed my mind after reading some of the comments here. I decided to hit hard on RW 

I challenge that I could make a trip from India to russia to meet a RW with in 250 USD. I could air freight a royal enfield motorcycle to mazar-i-sharif, afghanistan. Ask some poor and honest mazar citizen to take care my motorcycle for a maintenance rent so that once in every 2-3 months I could air travel from delhi to kabul then to mazar then proceed to either north,east,west with my motorcycle to meet my RW. Fuel is lot more cheaper in CA countries and russia. Camping on open grounds of kazak is fun. These countries don't even need to have carnet de Passages for a motorcycle. All I need is to have some visa formalities charges.

Some talk about my Income. There are guys  / girls whose normal income is around 1000 to 1500 USD per month in software field. Its roughly around 60-70k INR per month. But you know how stressful their mind will be? They hardly sleep five hrs a day. They should be answering call in middle of the night. I have seen people who got fainted due to work pressure. Earning a huge income by making a gambit of health? I am not that kind of guy..

[Shadow]

I have not read the earlier comments but reading your post I can not say you are ready.
You will always be able to meet women to have fun, the question is if they will consider you marriage material.
From what I read I would not consider you marriage material, unless you have a source of wealth fron your family that would allow you to do whatever you want.

You can take a women from tha Kazakh plains and she may be happy with your lifestyle. But if you take one from a city, do not expect them to stay longer as it takes to earn a ticket back.

[sathyashrayan]

You can take a women from tha Kazakh plains and she may be happy with your lifestyle. But if you take one from a city, do not expect them to stay longer as it takes to earn a ticket back.

Who would ever wants to take his girl to kazak plains?!! I told that the possibility for me to stay which could cut the cost of hotel rent.

[Shadow]

Who would ever wants to take his girl to kazak plains?!! I told that the possibility for me to stay which could cut the cost of hotel rent.

There are women there who may enjoy your lifestyle. FSUW from cities might like it for a holiday, but no longer.
I will try to make my point more clear. Any woman who hears what you do to visit her will instantly understand that you can not support a family at this time. What can you do to change their mind?

[ML]

First of all my apology for not coming back to this forum. Notifications went to my spam folder. After reading two replies without mail  notification and the replies was not encouraging I thought this thread does not get prolonged further. But after reading some replies today, I realized that I am wrong..

I am not making a reply for each and every post. But I will put a consolidated reply.

For those who makes racial comments on my nationality by judging some newspapers. Remember that those newspapers are funded from outside India (paid media). Nothing is true that comes on the newspapers and TV. Ground reality is different and I have no interest to prove that to them.

Some says that RW dont prefer brown skin. After my little observation around, I found out that no one has ever judged a women’s formula of Love. The spark could happen in their heart. Its will be a surprise . Skin color does not initiate the spark of seduction.

Some says that I can not even make a travel to meet a RW. Yes, russia is very far from my place compared to thai and all southeast asia. Reaching SE Asia is easier and cheap for me. But I have changed my mind after reading some of the comments here. I decided to hit hard on RW 

I challenge that I could make a trip from India to russia to meet a RW with in 250 USD. I could air freight a royal enfield motorcycle to mazar-i-sharif, afghanistan. Ask some poor and honest mazar citizen to take care my motorcycle for a maintenance rent so that once in every 2-3 months I could air travel from delhi to kabul then to mazar then proceed to either north,east,west with my motorcycle to meet my RW. Fuel is lot more cheaper in CA countries and russia. Camping on open grounds of kazak is fun. These countries don't even need to have carnet de Passages for a motorcycle. All I need is to have some visa formalities charges.

Some talk about my Income. There are guys  / girls whose normal income is around 1000 to 1500 USD per month in software field. Its roughly around 60-70k INR per month. But you know how stressful their mind will be? They hardly sleep five hrs a day. They should be answering call in middle of the night. I have seen people who got fainted due to work pressure. Earning a huge income by making a gambit of health? I am not that kind of guy..

This is one of the most naive (if not completely silly) post I have ever read here.