Time for some Humor!!

[Anotherkiwi]

OMG!!! LOL!

I really liked the very short clip where the girl was effectively using her heels as crampons in the snow!  Not! 

[Larry1]

I came home the other day and found my wife packing her suitcase. "What are you doing? I asked. She responded, "I just found out prostitution is legal in Nevada and I could get $500 for what I have been giving away free to you for all these years." I paused and grabbed my own suitcase. "What are you doing? She asked. I responded. "I'm coming along. I want to see how you are going to survive on $1000 a year!"

[ML]

Word has it that 3 of these young men have never been seen again since this picture was taken in 1969.

Any truth to that ?

[2tallbill]

A city lawyer runs a stop sign down in Cajun country and gets pulled over by Deputy Sheriff Boudreaux. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense . . .
Deputy Boudreaux says, "License and registration, please."
City lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at da stop sign ."
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Deputy says, "Da difference is, you have to come to a complete stop! Dat's da law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not you let me go and no ticket."
Deputy Boudreaux says, "Exit your vehicle, sir."
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says:
"Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

[ML]

Time to man up.

[2tallbill]

[2tallbill]

Has anybody else besides me notice that the & sign looks like a guy
dragging his ass across the carpet?

Arguing with idiots is just like playing chess with a pigeon.
No matter how well you play they will eventually sh!t on the
board and strut away like they won.

[2tallbill]

[mhr7]

VERY much worth reading.

http://twentytwowords.com/parents-who-are-smarter-than-their-kids/26/

[Anotherkiwi]

VERY much worth reading.

http://twentytwowords.com/parents-who-are-smarter-than-their-kids/1/

Fixed that for you!  The first few pages are just as funny (mostly, anyway). 

[mhr7]

Fixed that for you!  The first few pages are just as funny (mostly, anyway). 

Thanks!

[2tallbill]

But you won't see me complain about her methods

[2tallbill]

[2tallbill]

[2tallbill]

I've had some good friends who were great people die way before their time.
And then there is this guy, who had no business living this long

[2tallbill]

[BillyB]

Dear Abby:

 My husband is a liar and a cheat.
 He has cheated on me from the beginning, and
 when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse,
 everyone knows that he cheats on me. Sometimes with girls younger than our daughter. It is so humiliating.
 Also, since he lost his job 16 years ago, he hasn't even
 looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars,
 cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I
 have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away
 to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and even
 hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

 Signed: Clueless

 Dear Clueless:

 Grow up and dump him.
 Good grief woman! You don't need him anymore!
 You're running for President of the United States.
 Act like one!!!

[BillyB]

Dear Abby,

 My husband is not happy with my mood swings.  The other day,
 he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my
 moods.  When I'm in a good mood it turns green.  When I'm in
 a bad mood it leaves a big fuc*ing red mark on his forehead.
 Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

 Sincerely,
 Bitchy in Buffalo


DEAR ABBY,

I suspected that my husband had been fooling
around, and when I confronted him with the
evidence he denied everything and said it would
never happen again.

[tfcrew]

[BillyB]

Dear Abby:

 I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married
 next month.  My fianc?e's mother is not only very attractive
 but really great and understanding.  She is putting the
 entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go
 over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond
 what we had expected it to be.

 When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it
 down to just under a hundred ... then she floored me.

 She said that in a month I would be a married man and that
 before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me.  Then
 she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way
 said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave.

 I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that
 I knew exactly how to deal with this situation.  I headed
 straight out the front door...

 There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-
 law to be.  He was smiling.  He explained that they just
 wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their
 little girl.  I shook his hand and he congratulated me on
 passing their little test.

 Abby, should I tell my fiancee what her parents did, and
 that thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting
 to my character?  Or should I keep the whole thing to myself
 including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my
 car was to get a condom?

[Gator]

Maybe some asshole here recognizes his vehicle?

[tfcrew]

The difference between Tom Brady and Colin Kaepernick
??????????????????????
Tom Brady is a Patriot

[Larry1]

The difference between Tom Brady and Colin Kaepernick
??????????????????????
Tom Brady is a Patriot

Funny

[tfcrew]

Actually...disgraceful 
I wanted to see the entire stadium stand up go on the field surrounding Kaeperdick and screaming USA USA USA USA until he curled up into a ball.
I say send him to Syria.

[Larry1]

Actually...disgraceful 
I wanted to see the entire stadium stand up go on the field surrounding Kaeperdick and screaming USA USA USA USA until he curled up into a ball.
I say send him to Syria.

His birth mother came out and said it was disgraceful.