Trip #2 - Going Home to see My Girl

[I/O]

Kuna: FWIW From one much older and wiser than I, who BTW can afford to buy his beloved anything and I mean anything they desire, about jewelry.  His says it is similar to perfume and makeup.  "A little does a lot and a lot does very little". Believe me, his wife has some very nice pieces but always beautifully under stated.

Quality over quantity every time my friend. With stones, the three "C" s apply.  {CCC} Clarity, Colour and Carat weight in that order and you won't go far wrong.

I/O

[Kuna]

Start, I/O,

I KNOW I KNOW... but don't worry... I have sunglasses now.  It helps a lot too because the glasses block out the harshness of the sun and allow me to take a more leisurely walk around the city.

There was a thread a while ago about "What to pack"... I can't remember if sunnies were on there but I can thoroughly recommend them!


Kuna


Oops... I/O... I just saw your post...

You're right... I went out this morning and will look more after posting here but I've decided the only way to go is to get her what she wants... but to find high quality stones (as one normally would). 

I'm a little surprised because I didn't imagine she would have preferred the type of ring she pointed out but when we go down that path her happiness is infinitely more important than my ego.

Kuna (again)

[Simoni]

What I would have bought and what she wants is totally different.  I'm now a little confused if I do buy a ring on this trip (I'm sure I will) as to what to do.  She wants something modest... bordering on tiny. A simple gold band with small diamond around. 

Marina was the same way.  She chose a beautiful little gold ring with 5 embedded diamonds that cost $600 over the $6000 diamond ring I would have bought her in the US. Maybe in time, like others, she will want to exchange it, but more than a year later, she still loves it and says she will wear it forever.

[Kuna]

Quick Update

Sorry I haven't had a chance to update on activities since the weekend...

On Saturday and Sunday we walked and walked and walked.  I seriously have never walked so much in my life.  I think on Sunday we walked for 9 hours straight and in my language that just means a heavy sleep is about to hit. 

We went through Shevchenko Park which was wonderful.  Unfortunately I can't post photos at the moment but when I can I'll post a bit of a "photo journal".  Yes,  there's short skirts and sexy girls but I was interested to see the number of families (happy families) in the park.  It sure as hell explodes the myth that "FSU Men are good for nothing".  There's good men here just like there is everywhere.  It might be difficult to find a good man once a girl grows into a woman (because good men would probably have their pick of women - and would be likely to aim young if they can) but there are good men here.

Shevchenko Park is really lovely and is a "top spot" to blow a few hours just walking, or eating ice cream or checking out "the sights".

As mentioned earlier, we went to the Opera on Tuesday night.

For those that are coming to Dnepr I would recommend a night at the Opera with your lady because it's relaxing, impressive, inexpensive and will allow you to see your lady in yet another varied environment. 

I learned much about My Girl at the Opera, and even more since then. We were out very late the night of the Opera and she had to be up early for work.  Wednesday night she was exhausted... really exhausted.  The only time she had energy (and looked genuinely happy) was when she was cleaing the kitchen after dinner but the rest of the time she looked like she needed a good long sleep.

Anyway... I'm not sure if I'll get to post tomorrow because My Girl is taking the day off work and has a "surprise" for me.  I'm not sure what it is but I'm definitely looking forward to another day together in the beautiful weather we're having at the moment.


poka!

[Mir]

I think on Sunday we walked for 9 hours straight

Well if that continues you will leave fit as a fiddle

[Kuna]

A few things I've missed...

I was thinking about a few things that I missed in the last post and rather than try to fit them in chronological order I'll just post here.

Hmmm.. now I'm wondering if I've posted this elsewhere or whether I'd mused over it in my "family emails" home...

Anyway... I thought it was funny that my BIL had asked me to help him load the car for the trip home and pointed at a big white bag that I thought was filled with fertiliser or something.  One of the mistakes I made in preparing for my trip was to pack some photos of my sporting days where I when I was a (relatively) successful lifter.  Problems???  Well everyone thought I was still strong.  

Still...  this 40kg white bag went over my shoulder and I was off down to the car.  When I got there BIL said to me "Mama bought this 10 years ago... it is sugar and she bought it when we couldn't buy sugar in the markets".  

TEN YEARS???

40kg of SUGAR???

WHO'S THE HECK WAS GOING TO EAT 40 KG OF SUGAR?

The next morning we were woken early as the family was about to leave for the drive back to Moscow.

I'd really appreciated them coming to Dnepr to meet me and feel that our time together was invaluable.  My BIL had already told me privately that Mama was happy for us and she was happy that My girl had found a "good man".  He then told me he too thought I was a good good man and we had become friends.

He said the next time he would see me was at our wedding in Australia and he will be proud to see "My Girl" marry an Australian.

As the family were saying their goodbyes Mama left her farewell until last... First to me, then to My girl.  

She then took our hands and joined them and patted them with a big smile on her face saying (through my BIL) "Our family is growing again and I'm very, very happy".

With that there was a kiss on the cheek for each of us and the family was off.

I will stay in direct contact with my BIL now through emails and with the 10 year old boy through phone calls.  The family see English language as a big benefit for the children (thus all study 2 days per week with a private tutor) and I noticed the 10 year old getting more and more confident the longer we spent together.  Hopefully some phone calls will help him continue to improve his fluency.

One final comment on something I saw through the family.

We often hear stories of how tough and how depressed the economy is in Russia and some men seem to think this is a golden opportunity to find a wife who's desperate for an escape.  At the other end of the spectrum we sometimes read about "New Russians" and crime and corruption.

My BIL is a part of the middle class... growing in prosperity... intent on providing a good future for his family.

He drives a new Nissan Pathfinder and his wife drives a new Honda CRV.  MIL lives with them in their new house (a 7000 metre, four story home on acreage  in the outskirts of Moscow) but BIL said he wants to buy MIL a small apartment close to them... but still giving them all privacy and peace when needed.

BIL said that the economy in Russia is improving fast and people who want to build a future will.  He says the outlook for Ukr isn't as bright, that's why he was trying to encourage My Girl to move to Moscow.

These people are exactly what I would have expected My Girls family to be like. I see her values in the things they did and in the lives they lead.  I hope My Family will be as strong as My Girls Sister and BIL's.

OK.. gotta run... but thought I'd add that!

Kuna

[Mir]

Well from your description your BIL seems to be at the upper end of Russian middle class.
As for Russian economy it is not too rosy.
The population continues to shrink, democratic institutions are being destroyed and the Chechen problem drags on with no end in sight. Sure they seem booming right now but only due to high oil and gas prices, if by any chance oil prices fall then an economic crash is quite likely.

I guess your girl is one of two sisters, so do expect MIL spending lot of time at your house. Perhaps 6 months in a year. This can be interesting, expect them to create a mini-Russia in Australia.

[ScottinCrimea]

You can't make the mistake of reading the newspapers about the ups and downs of the Russian national economy and assume it affects all Russians.  I think whether the economy tends up or down, you are still going to see a continued rise in the Russian middle class because of the increased opportunities as well as their expansion into a more global economy.

I'm happy to see that you are getting a more realistic look at life in the FSU.  I'm sure you will have more and more of your misconceptions changed.  I think a lot of WM get misconceptions about RM because they often hear about them from RW who have been divorced, or else agency owners who want to promote the stereotype.  And what types of RM do most AM see?  Either those who are trying to do business with us or the ones hanging around the nightclubs.  The good family men are home with their wife and children.

[Mir]

their expansion into a more global economy

Well that is the question, will they integrate into a global economy and reap the benefits or become isolated due to the closed minds of some politicians?

[Turkey]

Thanks Kuna, your TR has been very interesting!

[Nat]

As for Russian economy it is not too rosy.
The population continues to shrink, democratic institutions are being destroyed and the Chechen problem drags on with no end in sight.

Mir, may be people who actually LIVE in Russia know about the life there more than those, who just read some articles about it I've heard similar with Kuna's BIL opinions from people, who live in Moscow.

Well that is the question, will they integrate into a global economy and reap the benefits or become isolated due to the closed minds of some politicians?

Do they need that global economy? They are global themselves!

Kuna, your report is very interesting, as always! Keep on writing pls

[Jazzyclassy]

Dear Kuna better relax more, spend more time with your girl

you can always write that report after you are  back at home

But yeah great writer is dying in you:)

[Mir]

Nat

I am not saying people in Russia are wrong, just giving my views based of course on the information available to me.
There have been many boom and bust stories over the years, most of them involve countries that had poor infrastructure and suddenly got lot of wealth due to Oil.

Maybe Russia will be a success story, maybe not, only time will tell.

[I/O]

Can we just "Shove a cork in it" on the economy thing and stick with the guy's trip report....!!! Kuna, I reckon ya've done "Orright" for yourself out of all this. Ya mighn't end up a "Kept man" but me thinks ya've got yourself a "Keeper" here.

I/O

[Kuna]

OK... enough on the ecomony...

I don't have long because I'm meeting "The One and Only" in a little while.  She wanted to go off and buy something "in private" so I was banished to the Internet Club.

She took a day off work today and organised a picnic down by the river.  It was really lovely to be able to just sit and relax... AND people watch".

Ya know... Dnepr is growing on me more and more because there's a relaxed vibe about the place and the new development in the centre still gives it a real buzz.

In a way I'm sad we won't be visiting here often in future because once my girl comes to Oz there will be little reason to return except for one or two friends... who actually aren't very close friends.  I'll expect to be spending our holidays in Moscow and St Peter though... so that ain't all bad!  ;-)

Last night we had My Girls two closest friends in Dnepr over for dinner.  I cooked (as arranged) but had a last minute brainwave and decided not to present a meal like we do in the West (main course and dessert).

Instead I prepared the pasta/salmon/creamy saffron sauce as a dish and also made 2 different salads and a plate of mushrooms stuffed with goats cheese and that soft tasty holey cheese you see everywhere here.

it was a GREAT hit with the girls all sitting at the kitchen table rabbling away at a million miles an hour and me only picking up one word in 20.

It was very enlightening too.  I saw more of "My Girls" sense of humour coming through and yes... it seems to fit the RW stereotype of an enjoyment of cheesy humour.

Example:  When in the park the other day I told my girl I needed the toilet.  She said "OK, we'll find" and then asked for the camera and started walking.  After about 15 minutes I said "Are we still looking for the toilet" when all of a sudden BOOM... she took my picture.  Well that picture (me with a face filled with the desp[eration of a man REALLY needing a pee) became the joke for the rest of the day and when my girl got her new notebook out (with photos loaded on) to show the girl the pics all three seemed to LOVE that same photo of me. 

We ate dinner... drank some wine...  and had a very merry time.

Ughhhh... the wine.  I'd brought a couple of bottles of good Australian wine (albeit semi-sweet) and gave one to my Sister-in-law.  The other bottle came out last night plus a bottle I'd bought in the supermark the other day.  My Girl's friends brought a bottle of sweet white wine and gentlemen I have to ask a very simple but very important question.  HOW DID YOU, OR DID YOU, MATURE YOU'RE WIFE'S TASTE IN WINE?

I don't know if I could live with drinking the wines we had last night for the rest of my life.  Don't get me wrong... I'm happy to have a glass every now and then to be polite but I don't think I could give up a big bold Shiraz like we get at home.

Oh... the sweet white wine was better than the Georgian red I got from the shop...  but still... it's SWEET!

Next...  My Girl's friends are both interesting and intelligent girls... but very different from each other.  One,"blondie" is divorced with one child, a lawyer and of similar age to My Girl. She currently has a boyfriend (who by the way came to collect her and escort her home because it was late and dark and a long way from home) but she is in no rush to settle down with any man after the end of a violent marriage. She doesn't speak much Engish but it was easy to tell from the conversation and the others reactions that she is normally the life of the party and possibly a little naughty.  (well judging from the groans, cringes and squeals of laughter... and the fact that my girl made very suspicious faces when I asked her a question at one point... I'd say it was naughty.)  ;-)

The other friend (Brunette) has known My Girl since Kindergarden and lives about a block away from My Girl.  She (of course) is the same age and seems very sensible.  She was the main instigator of the toasts last night... and at one point she said to me "Now you see Ukrainian Girls when they have real fun, CHEERS!" and with that we downed another glass of sweet red.

It was a great night... and now I understand these dinners My Girl hosts for her friends every few weeks.

I've spoken to Brunette on the phone before and think she's a really nice girl.  Like My girl she's never married... has no children... but is looking for a good man too.

Ya know... it's interesting.  I've been thinking a lot about what motivates a girl to seek a man from another country and I don't think there's any simple answer.  Some (admittedly) may be wanting to escape the difficult lives they have at home.  Let's face it though there are people happily living difficult lives here too.

Yes some do want children nd a family and they might feel they will find a more secure man away from the local scene.  Of course that's not always true and there are stable men here...  I don'[t know.

What I do know is that there's aspects of life here that I expect My Girl to miss... or rather aspects of life that I hope we try to introduce at home.  Sure there are going to be some benefits to life in Australia b BUT I can't help but wish we could go to the Opera for $5 a night or jump on a Shuttle Bus that leaves every 10 minutes night and day.

Anyway,  my time is running short and I just wanted to give an update.  I'll post again tomorrow because My girl will sleep in (being Saturday and all) and I've decided I need to pull my finger out and go ring shopping in the morning.  I've done enough browsing, shopping, comparing and deliberating...  It's time to REALLY shop!   

I hope all is well at home.  Tell Mum I love her...  Oh, and don't forget to water the plants! 

[I/O]

I hope all is well at home. 

It is all well. Johney is still trying to look "Statesmanlike" while the rest of us are freezing our merry little arses off. It is seriously cold..!!!

I/O

[ScottinCrimea]

I love hearing your observations.  You're seeing some of the things that make me love the Ukrainian people and living there.  I like that you take things for whqt they are without trying to interject Western judgements on them
  The sweet wine is a problem.  I've learned to check the sugar content on the bottle and never buy anything over 5%.  I started buying "semi-sweet' wines at first and my wife adjusted to that pretty well.  Just ask for "pole slatki".  Yoiu can also just buy a Merlot but sometimes they are too dry for Russian tastes.  what's funny is that the wine that I and my wife seem to have the best compromise on is also one of the cheapest. It's called Medveshi Krov, which means Bear's Blood.

Keep up the posts, even though it's making me awfully homesick.

[Sohkay]

Kuna,
I agree about the wine...sweet, musky tasting, very low quality stuff.

Here's what I did with my fiancee'...On all three trips over there, I took a good California chardonnay and a good pinot noir. That was about all it took. I taught her how to drink it, sniff bouquet, roll it in her mouth a little. She took right to it. One night we went to Arca in Nikolaev and had a $200 celebration dinner. Arca has the best wine list in Niko, and I ordered a top notch New Zealand sauvignon blanc to drink with dinner. She picked right up on all the fruit bouquets and flavors in the wine, and that further cemented her newfound love for fine wine. On another trip to see her, I took a copy of the movie Sideways (we drank pinot while we watched the movie), the romantic comedy that takes place in California wine country. That did it for her. She now appreciates wine and good wine makes her soooooo happy. I also believe that you really need the proper glass to fully appreciate wine. Speigelau is an affordable and well made wine crystal. I pay about $9.00 a stem in the U.S.

So, just expose her to good wine, and very quickly, she will see those sweet local wines for what they are. If you could get a nice NZ pinot it would be excellent with the saffron salmon dish.

I'd give her time before moving into AU shiraz...those can be some big wines, perhaps a bit much for the feminine newbie palate.

So good luck. I'm enjoying your trip report.

[SANDRO43]

... you really need the proper glass to fully appreciate wine.

Correct, adding "sight" to "smell" and "taste". And, IMO, this applies to other beverages as well: I always wonder about people drinking beer out of bottles or cans, rather than glasses, where lager looks cheerful, ale pensive, and stout broody .

[Gator]

The same as you and most men, I do not understand the UW fondness for sweet or even semisweet wine, especially with dinner.  Big city RW tend to go with dry red wine, so maybe part of the fondness is the fact that Ukraine has a long history of producing sweet wines.

Sohkay has a good idea.  Do you know that the best wine tasters are young women who do not smoke - they have the most distinguishing palette.  So expose her to different wines and let her educate herself.  In one year my ex-fiancee went from a near novice to a snob, and she would wince and raise her eyebrows upon first tasting a less than stellar wine that I tried to sneak past her.

You could compromise at first.  A small glass of semisweet is acceptable before dinner, akin to having a sherry at a Gentleman's club in London.  Of course, sweeter wines are acceptable with delicious seasonal fruit and European cheese after dinner.  But during a meal - give me a break.

Speaking of stemware,

http://www.riedel.com/website/english/frameset/frameset.html

[Gator]

Sandro wrote,

I always wonder about people drinking beer out of bottles or cans

Pouring beer into a glass would slow down Joe Sixpack in America.  Further, as the evening continues and the effects of alcohol take ahold,  he would spill more from the large opening of a glass vs. the opening in a bottle.

[Mir]

Yeah terrible how they like sweet and semisweet wine, but the good news is they all like beer and drink it like a man (full and not half pints)

[SANDRO43]

A small glass of semisweet is acceptable before dinner, akin to having a sherry at a Gentleman's club in London.  Of course, sweeter wines are acceptable with delicious seasonal fruit and European cheese after dinner.

As with Port and Stilton (IIRC, the decanter had to be passed around the table clockwise, since in the Royal Navy Port was passed port-to-port ).

Sicilia's sweet Marsala wines were a direct result of the increasing difficulties in getting sherries to Britain from Spain during Napoleon's war there.

[START2]

I'm with you guys on this one. These women love those dessert wines. For me, it Boones Farm Apple or MD 20 20 all the way. I have a very delicate pallette you know. Something else they like there is called Martini Bianco. Tastes like vermouth. Ugh.

[SANDRO43]

Something else they like there is called Martini Bianco. Tastes like vermouth. Ugh.

Not surprising at all, since it IS a vermouth, i.e. an aperitive drink invented by Antonio Benedetto Carpano (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vermouth) and used (sparingly) in the Martini cocktail (Ernest Hemingway's recipe was: "Just wave the Martini bottle cork over the gin a few times").

Carpano also produce Punt e Mes (Piedmontese for "point and a half", referring to the relative proportions of its bitter and sweet components), one of my favourite aperitives along with Campari Soda .

BTW, glad to see so many painters here, using their palette rather than the less artistic palate .