Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone

[Jamesukjames]

Well at present I'm in her bed and she's in her son's room.  I'm not one for pulling the pin on the grenade too soon.  I've done that on my last 2 relationships I'm going to just see how this runs .  Thank God for expedia for finding a hotel room if I have to bale.  Remember I'm out in north Ukraine snow and orthodox Xmas about to make travel difficult

[Jamesukjames]

But plan b is to do a trench to kiev

[Nightwish]

Oh I'm sorry you obviously just rely on your own Mojo which no other guy has got.

Remind us again how many relationships you managed to have in these 3-4 years you been on the trail?
Or even how many dates you managed to get and how those dates turned out?

[Nightwish]

But plan b is to do a trench to kiev

do a trench - You mean fail miserably at every attempt 
Do do that, do better, if you manage to get one date that don't bail on you, you will be 100% more successful

[lyndontom]

Well at present I'm in her bed and she's in her son's room.  I'm not one for pulling the pin on the grenade too soon.  I've done that on my last 2 relationships I'm going to just see how this runs .  Thank God for expedia for finding a hotel room if I have to bale.  Remember I'm out in north Ukraine snow and orthodox Xmas about to make travel difficult

I think you at least need to front it out; then you can make a decision to either stay or go. Looks like there are faults on both sides but it would be wrong to just ride it out without at least trying to address it.


As Boe points out though, you may not  get a straight answer and you may find yourself in limbo. I still think as a man you need to keep your dignity and confront the situation.

[Jamesukjames]

This is my first attempt at f s u internet dating.  Having dated f s u women in the past from working in Minsk or friends of friends.

[Trenchcoat]

Hey Trench

The only time I’ve ever stayed in a hotel in Kyiv was at the Premier Palace. Look it up.
A tad classier than that place you mentioned.
Unlike you, I like the finer things in life and don’t mind paying for them.

Your paying more needlessly JG, the Hotel Ukraine is 'the' most central hotel in Kiev and also has a grand impressive interior and an interesting history. It is far cheaper than most central city hotels in Kiev and I very much doubt the Premier Palace can compete on views

[Trenchcoat]

I think you at least need to front it out; then you can make a decision to either stay or go. Looks like there are faults on both sides but it would be wrong to just ride it out without at least trying to address it.


As Boe points out though, you may not  get a straight answer and you may find yourself in limbo. I still think as a man you need to keep your dignity and confront the situation.

No! He's already done this, did you miss the post. Are you suggesting he does it again? If that's the case I can see why you're still looking Lyndon, even I know that will send matters south quickly and is a pointless endeavour. If he does it before bedtime he will likely get no action tonight either.

She's essentially seeing what the best deal she can get is. James sounds like he's up against a pretty big wallet but if he gives her more commitment? ??

[Jamesukjames]

Trench my gut feeling is more fish in sea

[Davo2]

John hears a fresh perspective from someone who has no face to face experience with a FSU woman.

I've been with a local girl for almost 3 months and we aren't "face book official" as my daughter puts it. This means we are free agents in what's essentially a casual relationship. That's where your relationship is ATM, despite exposure to her life and family.

I've not had one relationship in 4 years, were we have been exclusive during the first few months. It's expected without saying.

This is smart dating now days, with so many options available to meet people and the divorce rate for second marriages. You are very unlikely to meet middle aged woman with kids who doesn't keep her options open, until she feels you're 100% committed to each other.

 She might have lied to you, but I think you made a mistake, by even mentioning it. Don't move out or you'll look petty, apologize for snooping and commit to a serious relationship if that's what you want. If not, be smart like her and keep your options open.

Looking at some of the replies, I'm pretty sure your getting a lot of advice from guys who have been out of the dating game for years or aren't getting past the first steps of a relationship.

[Davo2]

She's essentially seeing what the best deal she can get is. James sounds like he's up against a pretty big wallet but if he gives her more commitment? ??

No she's being a normal smart single mother who's survived a failed marriage.

[SteveInBoston]

Well I've rebuilt all the badly installed kitchen and bedroom draws.  Done the shopping .  Cared for a 5 year old while she was at work and gym and her mum's.  Done a bit of shopping so I've done ok pulling my weight

So, basically, you have pulled your own as a roommate/lodger.

Do you make her laugh?  Do you guys have a fantastic time together?  Do you have conversations through the wee hours of the night? 

This is your second visit with her, yes?  I am not sure a handyman/babysitter/grocery shopper is a type of man she has never met before and can't live without...

[Trenchcoat]

This is my first attempt at f s u internet dating.  Having dated f s u women in the past from working in Minsk or friends of friends.

Hmmnn yeah internet dating site girls will have guys contact them so the competition can be more. One lady a few months back who I contacted told me that she had since got married to a guy - she hadn't been on site for many, many days - shame as she had big knockers So she was out of thd running. Guess that's where your friends girls are better. I think though you have just been very unlucky this time. Many girls will not find many guys that they feel are runners.

I wouldn't give up on the internet dating sites but I think if you do continue to use them you need to take a more relaxed view as to there potentially being other runners in the race for thd girl. It's still way better than say Match dating at home most girls get few hits from serious guys and like I say most don't have more than one guy on the go at any one time. FSU dating sites can be a real lucky dip I find, you can pull out all sorts of girls and strange situations.

[Jamesukjames]

Yes we have a laugh chat .  This is first lifestyle holiday.  Week in cyprus week in egypt a week in ukraine when she was not working.  This is different real life.  Yes I do a pretty good job in the bedroom.  No I can't make her laugh like her Russian friends on the phone.

[Jamesukjames]

Every so often I look at English plenty of fish and think noooooo

[Trenchcoat]

Every so often I look at English plenty of fish and think noooooo

Lol, yeah me too

James I think you're doing alright, you're picking up experience at FSU dating. It will help you do better next time. Staying with girl for a bit of fun is ok and showcase knows you may find out if any of her friends are available or at least know more about stuff.

You never know what you may find out in the next few days and who knows she may come around to favouring you.

Other option is to split and spend the remaining week looking for another girl, can be hit & miss and not always easy to tell where the best time is to be had I think.

[JayH]

Any once else starting to wonder in James is really Trench's alter ego?

The second he praised Trench = he is Trench - equally stupid - dumb- not capable of understanding anything!

A thankyou to Nightwish for channeling my thoughts and stating them( again ) !!

For those longer term readers-- note-- Trench again quotes the sex tourist pedophile Roosh  as a credible source ( the guy lives in his mothers basement) for life and attitudes in Ukraine  --  despite being told years ago that he was all BS !

Some of the more sane contributors here have addressed James issues directly -- so no comment  from me on that at this time -- save- you are talking about 2 adults -- not teenage virgins.

When James first appeared recently-- and a few others -I asked some specific questions that go straight to some key issues. Mostly -- I got ignored  while dumbass cheer leading was replied to.
I think I am correct in saying this is actually James  1st visit to Ukraine?  Yet has been involved with multiple FSU women previously -- and in the current lady's case met her at holiday destinations.
There are many reasons why that is not a good idea --one ( of many) is it is super easy to find a girl prepared to go away on a holiday -especially out of the country. In fact-there are web sites devoted to just that.
To me -- that is the disconnect to long term relationship- maybe marriage.
It becomes the classic case of the little head doing the thinking and not the big head.

[Trenchcoat]

I agree with the, "There are many reasons why that is not a good idea --one ( of many) is it is super easy to find a girl prepared to go away on a holiday -especially out of the country. In fact-there are web sites devoted to just that.
To me -- that is the disconnect to long term relationship- maybe marriage."

I noticed that James had made the same mistake as I had last year. For me it is old ground, lesson learnt. I can assure you James is not me, no point me going over that turf again, I made a mistake learnt not to do same again, end of.

I also went to Cyprus so me & James do both have that scene done though, lol. Would be interesting to know what they got up to there?

I also find it interesting James went to Egypt with her as well. That is kind of unusual to do two holidays abroad before visiting her home?

I assume James paid for both holidays for her seeing that she would unlikely be in a position to pay for both.

I'm also guessing that James has realised his mistake now that being generous with holidays abroad confers no loyalty or benefits from FSW whatsoever.

[Jamesukjames]

Surprisingly we went Dutch on Every thing and she's fast to get her purse out unusual for the fsu.  And this is my second visit to her apartment.  First time for a week she took leave.  This time she suggested I came to make use of the fact she has the European and orthodox Christmas off work.  All would have been sweet if I had not been shown her phone or if I could have not reacted but  I really liked her so could not game.

[Trenchcoat]

Surprisingly we went Dutch on Every thing and she's fast to get her purse out unusual for the fsu.  And this is my second visit to her apartment.  First time for a week she took leave.  This time she suggested I came to make use of the fact she has the European and orthodox Christmas off work.  All would have been sweet if I had not been shown her phone or if I could have not reacted but  I really liked her so could not game.

Very strange for a FSW to go Dutch. Possibly she earns a fair bit or maybe the rich guy is sending her a stripend. Other possibility may be she thought as a single mum it may make her more desirable to WM.

If you really like her you may want to stick it out and see how it goes. She may just see at your stage together in the relationship it's too early to be beholden to each other. She may also be used to the freedom of single girl in own apartment lifestyle.

[Jamesukjames]

Oh my god I suddenly got this and without thinking aloud on this site never would.  The other guys her sugar daddy and I'm some light entertainment to fill in the gaps.

[Jamesukjames]

Jayh the little heads been having the best time of his life .  The big head has been trying to take in the overview.  I'm not posting on here for praise just to maybe help some others stay wide awake.

[Trenchcoat]

Oh my god I suddenly got this and without thinking aloud on this site never would.  The other guys her sugar daddy and I'm some light entertainment to fill in the gaps.

Yeah, I guess that could fit. He's older and wealthier than you. I've done the sugar daddy bit, never really something I ever wanted to aim at. You as light entertainment, possible I guess. I'm not sure which would be the least admirable status, maybe both, who knows.

I think that is part of your problem that you don't know where you fit in with her. You could ask but I'm not sure whether you would get an answer that tells you much.

Anyhow, how come you're still messaging b on here. Must be past 3 am where you are, aren't you in bed with her?

[Boethius]

I've done the sugar daddy bit, never really something I ever wanted to aim at.

Sugar daddy?

More like a Splenda daddy.

This post was composed without the aid of google.

[Boethius]

She's essentially seeing what the best deal she can get is. James sounds like he's up against a pretty big wallet but if he gives her more commitment? ??

Or perhaps she is looking for her other half, the man she is meant to be with.

The vast majority of women are not as mercenary as you seem to believe.

This post was composed without the aid of google.