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Guidelines for Civil Discourse

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Admin:
Borrowed from MSN, these guidelines should be helpful as a reference source:


* Recognize a person’s right to advocate ideas that are different from your own
* Discuss policies, issues and ideas, not people - and especially not individual RWD members
* Disagree without being disagreeable
* Use civil and helpful, not hurtful language (such as name-calling)
* Respectfully respond to differing points of view
* When unsure of what another poster means by what they have written, ask for clarification
* Realize that what you write and what people understand you have written may be different. Be patient and explain yourself again if other posters misinterpret your meaning - particularly here at RWD where members have a variety of native languages, yet are doing their best to communicate in the common language of American English
* Recognize that sometimes people can and must agree to disagree
* If you are not sure what you are about to say is civil, find another way to say it or let it go
* Reliance on labels for groups of people is often the first step toward the negative. Whenever possible, avoid them. They rarely add to the quality of any discussion
* Put yourself in the other person's shoes as best as possible, to see things from a different perspective - theirs
* Give an additional benefit of doubt to a person whose first language is not English
Any others you would like to see added to the list?

- Dan

BC:

--- Quote from: chivo on March 12, 2008, 06:24:52 AM ---
One thing I like to do is put myself in the other person shoes as best as possible, to see things from a different perspective. It's one of the things here that has changed my view on things happening around the world.


--- End quote ---

Lit_1nce:
I would add.. something about name calling..
Comment on the post, not the poster...

Other readers of the board, can make their own determinations as to whether someone is stupid, or an idiot (etc). If that is a personal opinion that you "must" convey to that person, then do it directly to them via PM.  Name calling can only lead to posts discussing why, or why not, a person is or isn't a(n) (insert insulting name)

Things can get emotional.. but how does it help the situation or prove a point, to resort to name calling ?

Think about this ..  When one poster tells another that they are (we'll use "stupid") and they are, does that boost your image of them ?  Have they informed you about this person ?  Have they really helped the person who they think is stupid ?  Do they really want to help ?  Does the name calling lead to change, or is it more likely that anything relevant is going to take a back seat as the person goes into defensive mode ?  Does it promote others to participate ? (well maybe the jackals)

Some of the best threads here are arguments.. however it usually goes to crap when the name calling rears it's ugly head.

Many take their board "reputation" seriously.. some too seriously, and others are at the extreme opposite... It does have some uses.. I use my RWD status to get coffee for $5.00 at Starbucks  ;D.. but the point is, for some, real not just virtual feelings can be hurt while they are trying to protect their online reputation. . and things get messy. The best response to name calling is direct via PM.. not reciprocating.

Anyway... just some thoughts.. don't know what made me think of them.

Misha:
I concur with the calling of names. The rule of thumb IMHO is simple: never use a name that you would not want to be called yourself; do not use a name that would insult you if your wife (or husband) was called by the same name; do not use a name whereby you change the screen name of a forum member to ridicule them. Simply put, do not behave as if you are seven years old and fighting with other kids in the sandbox.

turniptruck:

--- Quote from: gabaub on April 18, 2008, 02:40:06 PM ---I concur with the calling of names. The rule of thumb IMHO is simple: never use a name that you would not want to be called yourself; do not use a name that would insult you if your wife (or husband) was called by the same name; do not use a name whereby you change the screen name of a forum member to ridicule them. Simply put, do not behave as if you are seven years old and fighting with other kids in the sandbox.

--- End quote ---

The recent 'problem' sounds like there was bad blood from before.  Trouble with bad blood is that it clouds everything.  The most innocuous posts become points of contention.  Then everything is no longer about the thread topic but rather a pissing match.  You see it a bajazillion (it could be a real word someday :P ) time on every forum.  Human nature I guess. 

It's odd though, in situations like this no one 'wins'.  If you have faith in your fellow forum participants then you should have faith that they can see whats going on.  One need not have to be explicit to get ones opinion across.

Never point out a person for a negative comment IMHO, and you will garner the benefit of the doubt if not the respect of other members.  The Italian Navy on the other hand is fair game :D 

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