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Author Topic: was married to a russian wife  (Read 8827 times)

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Offline andrewj

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was married to a russian wife
« on: January 01, 2018, 11:05:01 PM »
Hi all,

Just a little ice breaker I guess.
I have been married to a Russian wife for over 5 years. I really loved being married but unfortunately my wife changed her mind on having kids and now has divorced me.

I am in my mid/late  40's, have a steady job, in good health . I have a house near the beach in outer Melbourne. Didnt quite get the marriage or kids that I wanted.

I like eastern European women and want to have a family still . Little bit undecided if I want to try again with another eastern European women or not. 

I liked reading other peoples stories here as well so thanks for this.

   
« Last Edit: January 01, 2018, 11:08:37 PM by andrewj »

Offline BillyB

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2018, 01:46:44 AM »
Little bit undecided if I want to try again with another eastern European women or not. 

 


If your wife was a bad woman, I can say with certainty not all Eastern European women are like that. Welcome to the forum Andrew.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Sting23

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2018, 01:57:10 AM »
Welcome Andrew. Sorry to hear. Would you like to share how you met and what happened?   Sounds like your ex decided not to have kids which is more unusual for a Russian woman.

Offline msmob

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2018, 02:09:18 AM »
Welcome andrewj

My suggestion is NOT discuss what went wrong - as it only opens up the forum to 'experts' who didn't live your marriage.

People change - even within a marriage and that was one compromise that was unsolvable.

IF this was indeed the reason - ask yourself .... "Did she not want to have kids at all or just with me ? "...followed by "Can I be a good Dad?"...  ( no need to answer on the forum - just to yourself !)

If you are 'happy' with your answers - then if you are ready - get back on the saddle - armed with experience -   and good luck






Offline Sting23

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2018, 02:46:39 AM »
If he is comfortable sharing then let him. This is an open forum.  I'm interested in why his ex-wife changed her mind to have children after marriage. That seems to be a rare reason especially for an FSU woman.  They were married for 5 years so that's quite some time. 

I don't know her age but that is a factor too in terms of how long she could feasibly have a child. 

We are here to learn from each other and our personal experiences.  Many posters are mature enough not to play "arm chair quarterback" and dissect his marriage.  If some do then we can call them out on that.

Offline msmob

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2018, 03:01:01 AM »
If he is comfortable sharing then let him. This is an open forum.

I don't know about you - but I base my advice on experience...

I'm interested in why his ex-wife changed her mind to have children after marriage. That seems to be a rare reason especially for an FSU woman.  They were married for 5 years so that's quite some time. 

Then you'd have to ask his WIFE !

I don't know her age but that is a factor too in terms of how long she could feasibly have a child.

I don't see the relevance - a younger / older woman can change their mind for differing reasons ( career / health worries)

We are here to learn from each other and our personal experiences.  Many posters are mature enough not to play "arm chair quarterback" and dissect his marriage.  If some do then we can call them out on that.

Once again, I strongly advise the OP to discount your reasoning - based on personal  experience . 

Nothing to learn here - other than marriages fail

Offline andrewj

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2018, 04:52:36 AM »
Hi,

Thanks for the replies people.  I dont want to go to too many details as I need to start looking more positively for the future. One thing to be wary of is that I could have started a family soon after I married but I had job issues and felt i needed to make sure I can maintain an income and worry about the family later. After my job issues go back on track 2 years later my wife also got steady work. However the idea of a family to my wife time had passed. My marriage never recovered from that delay .


Offline ML

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2018, 09:59:52 AM »
When  a woman gets into a job that she enjoys, it can be hard to give it up.
A job can provide a sense of fulfillment to both men and women.
Typically it seems for most women, the pull to motherhood eventually outweighs the pleasures that a good job provide; but this might not be true for all.
Then of course, any given woman can decide/realize she just doesn't want to produce a child with a particular man for any number of reasons including physical characteristics, perceived intelligence, etc.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline BillyB

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2018, 10:43:48 AM »
I need to start looking more positively for the future.



To have a positive future that is different from the past, one has to not repeat the past. You may have accepted the excuse of her not wanting children led to the divorce but you may find she'll quickly have children with her next man. Very very few women would divorce a man if she considers him a "winner". Most men wouldn't leave a woman either if they felt she was a winner. Wherever you decided to find your next woman, you have an opportunity to find a much better woman than the last. Keeping her depends on if show yourself being a quality man. If she feels you're a winner, she'll want to pass on those genes to her future children.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2018, 12:29:12 PM »
Welcome andrewj

My suggestion is NOT discuss what went wrong - as it only opens up the forum to 'experts' who didn't live your marriage.

People change - even within a marriage and that was one compromise that was unsolvable.

IF this was indeed the reason - ask yourself .... "Did she not want to have kids at all or just with me ? "...followed by "Can I be a good Dad?"...  ( no need to answer on the forum - just to yourself !)

If you are 'happy' with your answers - then if you are ready - get back on the saddle - armed with experience -   and good luck

:D
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Brasscasing

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2018, 03:22:52 PM »
Hiya Andrew,

A few questions ...

1) Was your former spouse in her forties as well? ...Nothing to do with age gap but asked more along the lines of biology.

2) Has she remained in Oz or returned to Russia?

3) Did you and your former spouse discuss or otherwise plan to start a family early in your marriage and was your decision to delay starting a family due to career issues an area of contention between the two of you at the time?

And

4) Did your former spouse already have a child(ren) by a previous marriage/relationship?

If you're uncomfortable answering these questions then no worries.

Brass
« Last Edit: January 02, 2018, 03:25:39 PM by Brasscasing »
...Build the wall. Even Heaven has a gate...

"Because without America there is no free world" ~ Canada Free Press

Offline msmob

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #11 on: January 02, 2018, 03:39:56 PM »
andrewj

I implore you - don't bite

Offline andrewj

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #12 on: January 02, 2018, 04:40:20 PM »
Hiya Andrew,

A few questions ...

1) Was your former spouse in her forties as well? ...Nothing to do with age gap but asked more along the lines of biology.

2) Has she remained in Oz or returned to Russia?

3) Did you and your former spouse discuss or otherwise plan to start a family early in your marriage and was your decision to delay starting a family due to career issues an area of contention between the two of you at the time?

And

4) Did your former spouse already have a child(ren) by a previous marriage/relationship?

If you're uncomfortable answering these questions then no worries.

Brass

Hi,
My spouse was in her late 30's and she doesnt have children. She is still in OZ where someone else is paying for her accommodation. Yes we discussed family but she changed her mind afterwards.

Might end my personal life details there if you dont mind though.

Thanks for the replies.

I look forward to the future and hope to not repeat mistakes of the past.. I would like to meet FSU girls in Australia but there doesnt seem to be that many. Might post this elsewhere.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #13 on: January 02, 2018, 05:03:16 PM »
Seeing as it's all anonymous here Andrew I wouldn't worry about discussing personal life here as we are unaware of who you are. The more we know the more members here may be able to help you. There's members here with loads of experience and others that are quite perceptive.

Possibly she may have stated originally she wanted children knowing that most guys visiting the FSU for a woman will be wanting children. If she was unsure or even did not then she would have been drastically cutting down the field by stating this upfront. That or she may have gotten onto the old get with any guy then look for another guy while over there she was more into. It may be she decided on another guy she would prefer to have children with.

I tend to assume FSW in one's home country would be ad fiercely fought over in the west as any other woman. The marketplace is what it is so you'll be up against the usual competition.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Boethius

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #14 on: January 02, 2018, 05:10:42 PM »
Sigh.  You just don't get it.  If a woman loves you, there is no competition.  Relationships - I mean real relationships, rather than mercantile exchanges - are not a "marketplace". 
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Sting23

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #15 on: January 02, 2018, 06:06:13 PM »
andrewj

I implore you - don't bite

Not sure why you are saying this.  The guy joined the forum wanting to share his story.  If he didn't want to he would not have posted. 

Offline kynrazor

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #16 on: January 02, 2018, 06:07:59 PM »

I would like to meet FSU girls in Australia but there doesnt seem to be that many. Might post this elsewhere.

Why am I not surprised? :D And I do not think you are surprised too. Much better to get to the source for all FSU women!  :rolleyes:

Now time to fire up your online dating accounts and start filtering and roping them FSU ladies in!  ;)

Just make sure they speak decent english, or perhaps this doesn't matter for you :)
« Last Edit: January 02, 2018, 06:09:33 PM by kynrazor »
Sincerely,
Kyn

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #17 on: January 02, 2018, 06:29:55 PM »
Sigh.  You just don't get it.  If a woman loves you, there is no competition.  Relationships - I mean real relationships, rather than mercantile exchanges - are not a "marketplace".

Boethius, I can come first with a girl and us both be in love, feel the chemistry, etc but I only remain first until another guy comes along. The girl I'm with may decide to keep me first or she may decide that the other guy who she also feels love & chemistry with is actually a fair bit better than me. Sure many a guy no matter how wealthy, handsome, sociable, etc may not be of interest to her and will be no competition to the man she is in love with, but if another guy turns up who she also feels love for then there could well be competition.

In terms of love we are not talking about a mercantile exchange but there can be a marketplace of different men from which to consider in the west for a FSW just as there is a marketplace of different women to consider for WM in the FSU. I may go out to a city in the FSU and over the course of a few weeks come across potentially several girls that may be in love with me and vice versa and a load who won't. Some of those girls that there are love with may just have interests that I just can't get with, we may have little in common or her personality might be hard to bear - so who am I going to put first? That's right the one where I feel it most for that's not to say that I might feel it more for another girl further down the line, I might leave her or choose to stick by her even though she is in reality now second.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Sting23

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #18 on: January 02, 2018, 06:40:34 PM »
Trench, serious question.  Have you had a girlfriend before or been in a relationship?  Because it's utter nonsense what you are spewing.  Most long time members will know this but new members may not.

If you have so little confidence in yourself that you feel a girl may leave you at the drop of a hat then something is wrong with you.

Offline Sting23

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #19 on: January 02, 2018, 07:06:55 PM »
Hi,
My spouse was in her late 30's and she doesnt have children. She is still in OZ where someone else is paying for her accommodation.
I look forward to the future and hope to not repeat mistakes of the past..

Only you know the answer but perhaps children was not the main issue between you.   It seems like she has found someone else in OZ and didn't want to return back to Russia yet.


Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #20 on: January 02, 2018, 07:24:29 PM »
Only you know the answer but perhaps children was not the main issue between you.   It seems like she has found someone else in OZ and didn't want to return back to Russia yet.

No sh*t sherlock, lol - SHE WANTED A BETTER DEAL - she had been married to him for five years, if she is now with someone else as he suggests and 'paying for her accommodation' as Andrew has told us then she preferred what that guy was offering to Andrew whether that was Love, free accommodation, better accommodation, a rich guy, etc. No sh*t she didn't want to return back to Russia, I know a few do but most know they are far more decent men in the west to chose from and a more comfortable lifestyle.   
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Sting23

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #21 on: January 02, 2018, 08:09:54 PM »
then she preferred what that guy was offering to Andrew whether that was Love, free accommodation, better accommodation, a rich guy, etc. No sh*t she didn't want to return back to Russia, I know a few do but most know they are far more decent men in the west to chose from and a more comfortable lifestyle.

Trench stop talking man.  You are embarrasing yourself.

Offline msmob

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #22 on: January 02, 2018, 10:21:13 PM »
Not sure why you are saying this.  The guy joined the forum wanting to share his story.  If he didn't want to he would not have posted.

The 'clue' was in my (surely) not too complicated explanation - but let's try another format..I've worn the t-shirt.... hence,"DO NOT DO IT'

The OP has said enough and he's ready to search anew - let's help him in his new search - not allow the usual suspects to end up dissecting the reasons for a break-up..



Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #23 on: January 02, 2018, 11:03:20 PM »
The OP has said enough and he's ready to search anew - let's help him in his new search - not allow the usual suspects to end up dissecting the reasons for a break-up..

I disagree, the dissection needs to be done as painful as it can be. If Andrew just sets about putting all his time and energy into finding another girl without learning he could get the same happen again. In fact he might unwittingly be a magnet for this to happen again if he is putting out the wrong signals and doing the wrong things without him necessarily realising. Plus off course he has us here as a shoulder to cry upon, a heartening feeling no doubt :)
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline msmob

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Re: was married to a russian wife
« Reply #24 on: January 02, 2018, 11:06:21 PM »
I disagree, the dissection needs to be done as painful as it can be. If Andrew just sets about putting all his time and energy into finding another girl without learning he could get the same happen again. In fact he might unwittingly be a magnet for this to happen again if he is putting out the wrong signals and doing the wrong things without him necessarily realising. Plus off course he has us here as a shoulder to cry upon, a heartening feeling no doubt :)


And you'd be the 'expert' in this, too - having gone through it.. right ?




 

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