Russian Women Discussion
RWD Discussion Groups => Experienced => Topic started by: HookSwoop on October 27, 2006, 12:20:16 PM
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I am 35, never married, no kids.
Not long ago I received a letter from a young lady; the letter was very interesting and showed intelligence and a playful sense of humor, these initial impressions have been confirmed in subsequent letters.
The catch: In her first letter she wrote about her 4yo daughter –
up to this point I had been searching exclusively for someone who did not have children.
In a word, our correspondence has been great. We have a lot in common and the more I get to know about her, the more I like her. Also, not that it matters in the long run, but she is drop-dead-gorgeous. I am more attracted to her than any other lady I have corresponded with.
I am beginning to feel her affection toward me growing as well.
This has me a little worried…
Since she is a single mother, I am feeling a pressure (or obligation) to be extra careful with how far to let this go. It is getting close to the time that I either have to nip this in the bud or be prepared to possibly go all the way.
My issue: I am unsure if I am prepared (willing, capable… whatever) of an instant family. To be a step-father before I have had children of my own; to be responsible for not just one person but two; to raise another man’s daughter; etc. etc. etc.
I understand it may seem like I am getting way ahead of myself since we have not met yet. Things might not work out and all this may be for nothing. But as I said, I am feeling a responsibility to know I can accept this before it goes too far and deeper feelings and emotions come into play.
So I guess my first question is,
- am I premature on worrying about this? Should I just wait until we meet (January) and see how we get along, and then deal with it if we like each other?
I know that ultimately only I can decide if I am ready, willing, and able to handle the responsibility. However, I am looking for some advice from those of you with experience or perspective in such matters.
- In broad terms, how difficult is such a situation?
- Are there any cultural traits that would make marrying a RW with a child any easier or difficult than the same situation with an AW? For example, are RW any more or less open to allowing their new husband parental rights (upbringing decisions, discipline, etc.)?
- Should the fact that I have no children of my own be a considering factor? I would like to have a couple children of my own some day.
- Her daughter is 4yo. Does this fact make it easier or more difficult, or neither?
- Has anyone here married a lady with a young child? If so, what unique challenges did you face that I should consider?
I appreciate any advice or feedback that anyone can offer.
Thanks!
-Tim
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Welcome HookSwoop,
If you can't be an adequate father for the child, do the child and her mother a favor and cut the correspondence off. You need to be prepared to accept the whole package, mother and child, not just the mother. Most of the answers to your questions must be answered by yourself.
I think the younger the child, the better it is for the child and a new father to bond and get along. You need to ask where the father of this child is and if he would be willing to sign off in letting his daughter leave the country.
As far as your other questions go, you need to ask the mother what she expects a future husband's role is when raising the children.
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Quick answer:
Yes, you are probably getting way ahead of yourself.. In fact you probably need to come back down to earth before proceeding.
Read http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?pid=2 then read it a hundred more times.
First things first.. you said she contacted you.. did you advertise? If so where?
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My issue: I am unsure if I am prepared (willing, capable… whatever) of an instant family. To be a step-father before I have had children of my own; to be responsible for not just one person but two; to raise another man’s daughter; etc. etc. etc.
Tim... it is your calling not ours...
But i can share a little experience from my previous marriage to a RW...
She was with a child from 3 year old when i have know her... Now that we are divorced, the only joy during our marriage was her child... like you, i have never have child of my own before but i can say that a child is more work and more hapiness...
Another man is not a real problem with so young child... the first time she will call you "father", it will be one of your best day...
By my experience, don't fear about the child... but beware that women can use your "paternal" feeling to reach some idem agenda... i can assure you that a young child is not something to worry about... but now, you need to concentrate on your relation with the lady... see if she is the right for you... It is very very painfull when you have grow up a little girl from 3 year old until her 10 year... that due to a divorce, you loose all your right like father... no visit... simply the end...
Now, simply take care off your relation with the mother... if all is right, the relation with the child will be good too... a child ( same not of you ) ask a lot of work but bring a lot of reward...
Some other here have marride women with child... ask them since i am maybe the bad example, the only one here who have divorce from a RW with a child from previous marriage... but same in my case, it was a very good experience when related to the child only...
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Hello,
I have not married yet a fsu woman with a child, but as I'm father of 3 children ... For me there will be no difference between her child and my children ... What you must be prepared , is that a child request time and patience, that you must change the way you see the world ... you will not be a couple only, you will be a family too. This means great rewards but responsabilities and availabilities.... Are you ready for this ?
What will happen with a child who is 4 ...
You will need to close your door when you are in your bedroom....
You will be wake up in the middle of the night because she will have done a nightmare
She will want to be in the bed with her mother as soon she will wake up.
She will want to play to be a princess and you will have to play the king
She will be in her mother legs when you will kiss her ...
She will jump in your arms and will probably consider you as her father ...
So ask you if you are ready to change the center of the world, to think three instead one or two ...
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If you can't be a father to the child, then I do not understand why you would be corresponding with this woman. Mother and child are a package deal. They can't be severed.
If your intentions are to meet the mother and the child and then see if you are all compatable, that is a good thing.
Remember, they are a package deal. You have to accept both of them into your life.
As you can tell, I agree with BillyB
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Children can bring great joy into ones life. I have two daughters and I love them to death. And the man who raises this child will always be her father. It is the the hardest work you can find and the most satisfying. No doubt.
But as others have said, you need to make sure the woman is right for you first. You need to meet her and make sure there is a connection and not just a ride for her to GC land. And if things work out between you, that child will bring a lot of happiness for you. They have a way of growing on you.
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HookSwo,
Welcome and good post.
Personally, I love children. To me they are a bonus, the frosting on the cake. Good kids make the family even closer and add so much joy. A RW with a child is probably more mature than a woman without children – in the sense that she knows what she wants and is willing to work to achieve it and to keep it.
Now that you understand my perspective, what I am bout to tell you could be considered biased.
The doubts you express are minimal compared to how RM (Russian men) feel about a woman with children. Many RM are great fathers – I have seen them with their children at holiday resorts and in the FSU. Yet, there are many stories about RM abandoning not only his wife but his children. And eligible RM tend to avoid marriage to women with children.
That is a key reason that many RW seek foreign men because they want a family and have been told that Western men are more willing to accept someone else’s children. Many RW consider this more important than “economics”.
The questions you ask are reasonable and they show that you have the maturity to probably be a good father to this 4-yo daughter. I think 4-yo is a great age to assume fatherhood. The biggest problems I have read about have been when the Russian child is a teenager (teenagers are difficult anyway without adding the factors of mixed family and different culture/language).
The question is – do you want to be a father. Do you realize the size of this responsibility? You seem to indicate that you would like your own children. That says you want to be a father. So I say keep talking about this with the woman. Here are some requirements to make this work if you do marry:
1. It is imperative that you are considered the father – this is good for you and good for the daughter (the daughter needs two parents who stand united). Some RW are reluctant about this. So ask her some open ended questions about what role she envisions for you.
2. I think it is advisable to have common children, yet some RW may be hesitant about this because of their bad experience with the first father. You must be convinced that she wants another child.
3. Make sure that the mother can obtain permission from the father for the daughter to leave the country (the US Embassy requires this and some fathers can refuse or hold out for “bribe”).
When you say it is time to cut this off or continue, I am confused. There is no reason to cut if off unless you are absolutely certain that you could never be a stepfather. Until then, keep communicating. At your age and having never been a father, you realistically can not answer the question until you spend time together with the woman and daughter. You just may fall in love with both. And if you love only the woman, move on to another woman.
I think you should also meet women without children. At your age, you will have a wide choice. The comparison will help you decide. Yet, if the single mom is as appealing as you describe her, I think you will stay with her. You seem like a man who looks for far more than beauty.
Good luck.
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You marry the woman, my wife and I will take the kid off your hands. We like kids here.
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Ok guys... kids are great but Hook needs to start at point A.
As far as we know he received an unsolicited email, it went back and forth a couple of times and we're already talking marriage?
(this from a 'dad' five times over with a very insignificant factor of only two DNA matches)
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Hook, you are having doubts and questiions. " I am unsure if I am prepared (willing, capable… whatever) of an instant family."
This alone tells me you are not ready to share your life with the child and mother.
Having a child is a big thing.
So I think you should keep looking.
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As far as we know he received an unsolicited email
And what ! Maybe with the scam test from RWD she will be a scammer... My actual girlfriend have contact me first too... And i am really kucky that she have make these move... I have know doubt before meet her but now, i know that she is the best thing who have happen in my life...
HookSwoop have not yet meet... my advice is very simple... take the plane... if you are not sure, plan some "reserve" lady in the same city.... make a WoVo with reserve plan....
How can you know without test it !!!
You marry the woman, my wife and I will take the kid off your hands. We like kids here.
Sorry for the insult JB... but i begin like you ;)
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You marry the woman, my wife and I will take the kid off your hands. We like kids here.
Sorry for the insult JB... but i begin like you
To us, kids are the only reason to have a family. If you don't like, or want, kids,,,,stay single for Gawds sake~!!! Leave the RWs to more mature men.
If you have a problem with a woman who has a kid,,, don't write to her~!!!! Leave the woman alone~!!! She surely doesn't need to have her heart strings plucked by a cad who wants to leave her child behind. Thats cruel beyond words.
Hookswoop, I'm sorry, but I find little sympathy for you. I think you may have unnecessarily led this woman down the garden path, led her to hope for a more normal life, even maybe lied to her a little as the correspondance progressed in that you are maybe not opposed to kids.
Now you are having second thoughts about ladies with *baggage*, get it over with.
Either accept the fact that you may not be the first to plough that field, or get out of the game entirely.
Or,,, give the kid to us...
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Some of 'youall' here are being a little harsh on the original poster. He never said he was thinking of asking the woman to give up her child to be with him.
He just has some anxiety about what will happen since he hasn't dealt with children before and was hoping to find a gal without children.
He is just feeling his way along and asking for some reasoned input.
And he said he doesn't want to let this go too much farther if he decides a no go.
I have nothing else to add that could help him. Some very good advice here, except those that jumped on him a little too hard.
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GO.....GO....Go and met this lady....You may fall in love with the child, ... and not a spark with the lady.
I have a wonderful (Russian born) daughter and grandson...
In May, the grandchild God had trusted to us, died as the result of a near drownding accident.....Her grandpa was with her and we had recently moved to this small town 250 miles away.
My younger son came immediately and took me to his home that night...
Basil now 16, met me at the door and just held me...."Granny, I am so sorry......). I can not tell you how much that moment ment to me.
This is the little boy, who met me in 2001.....and he knows he is mine....Luckily, his mom and he also fell in love with my son....
The first lady Dick met had twin sons 5 years old....Dick and the kids fell in love ....... But, it didn't work out with the lady...
SO.... GO... and meet her and that little girl may become your Princess....
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Not long ago I received a letter from a young lady; the letter was very interesting and showed intelligence and a playful sense of humor, these initial impressions have been confirmed in subsequent letters. The catch: In her first letter she wrote about her 4yo daughter ....
Maybe you're not telling us ALL of your thoughts, such as your possibly doubting : "Could it be that she's showing herself to me in her best colours because she's looking for someone mainly to take care of herself and her daughter ?"
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Hook,
First of all, nice post, especially for a first one. I might just get
into a bidding war with jb over that child. I've got plenty of
experience parenting other father's children. At your age I adopted
my first daughter, then a second one at age 40. At 52 I was blessed
with yet another, my Russian stepdaughter. Parenting others' kids
ain't for everyone - and for you to raise questions about your
capabilities and preparedness is most valid. Determination of your self-suitedness is not instantaneous. You've identified the crux of your issue, and I urge you strongly to contemplate that further while heeding BC's advice: it's rather early to determine anything. Had you happened upon this "dilemma" ten years ago, I'd echo a few others here and say "keep looking".
If you enjoy the correspondence, continue, but make plans to
meet. If the thought of "instant family" continues to worry or nag you, be the realistic man you seem to be.
For the record, I cannot begin to calculate the love and joy I've received from all three of my daughters - I'm suited for this. It doesn't mean I'm special in any way - just suitable. Should you find yourself at peace and the lady turns out to be for real, give yourself and the little one a chance.
Gator's points 1, 2 and 3 are excellent. I also laud his observation
about the child's young age. I took on a Russian stepdaughter as she was learning the facts of life; fortunately, she had solid values
and parental respect in place thanks to her Mom. Today, she's pushing 18 and it's become more challenging - to the point where Mom has granted me carte blanche to lay down the law, as her own effectiveness is at odds with the inevitable Americanization these kids tend to undergo..... These are issues most parents face eventually - but you're still far from here. Give it time - things will become clear. And welcome to RWD.
Vaughn
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I was seriously in your shoes at one point, only the daughter was a little over one year of age, only I met and interacted with the two reasonably well for nine months or so. I thought about it long and hard and decided I did not want to raise another guys child. I had a language barrier, cultural barrier and I just could not trust the beautiful woman enough ultimately.
I wanted to start my own family fresh. Determine what is most important to you, like a business decision. How physically attractive the mother and how well she is corresponding with you is really not a major issue. You have to meet and interact very well over a period of time. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Find as close to what you really want as you can. Do not compromise your future. Sorry for sounding cold hearted but deep down think what is really important to me. Do you really want this child of 4 to tell you "f*u*c*k you buddy, your not my father," when she is 14 years old? I for one could not live with that. Bottom line, stop the correspondence and never meet.
Vaugn is one special person. I tip my hat to him. Best of luck.
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Sorry for sounding cold hearted but deep down think what is really important to me. Do you really want this child of 4 to tell you "f*u*c*k you buddy, your not my father," when she is 14 years old?
Depending on the relationship, (if it even exists) with the biological father as the child grows up the chances of this can be quite slim with a 4 year old. Much more will depend on bonding within the new family unit. There is really no big difference between the teen you described and a biological teen saying 'I wish you wern't my father' during this critical period.
Yes, agree that this is not for everyone. It indeed raises complexity, cost, responsibility and emotional investment, all factors which should not be underestimated.
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At this point you two have not yet met so it would be premature to come to a decision before you cross that bridge. A good idea to get info and find out others experiences with children and possible issues. Cheerio, tim360
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"There is really no big difference between the teen you described and a biological teen saying 'I wish you wern't my father' during this critical period."
BC, good point and excellent post. Another man's child really complicates things. I stick to my advice. Unless you really understand and want to raise another mans child, punt!
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I was seriously in your shoes at one point, only the daughter was a little over one year of age, only I met and interacted with the two reasonably well for nine months or so. I thought about it long and hard and decided I did not want to raise another guys child. I had a language barrier, cultural barrier and I just could not trust the beautiful woman enough ultimately.
I wanted to start my own family fresh. Determine what is most important to you, like a business decision. How physically attractive the mother and how well she is corresponding with you is really not a major issue. You have to meet and interact very well over a period of time. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Find as close to what you really want as you can. Do not compromise your future. Sorry for sounding cold hearted but deep down think what is really important to me. Do you really want this child of 4 to tell you "f*u*c*k you buddy, your not my father," when she is 14 years old? I for one could not live with that. Bottom line, stop the correspondence and never meet.
Vaugn is one special person. I tip my hat to him. Best of luck.
For the same reason you don't want to be with a woman with a child, I don't want to meet a woman with no child... for several reasons ...
- I have myself children and I want to be with someone who understand the time and cares they need and all joy the can bring.
- I want to have a large family.
- Having a 4 year child is really a benefit ... no diapers to change ....!
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There are many of you out there that will understand this statement..
Many people can gave life to a child...
But the one, who teaches that child "HOW" to live life, who gives guidance, Love, and who cares about the kind of person he/she will become, IS the "PARENT". :)
But make no mistake..... that child must accept you and you him...
We are talking about a small human being, not a dog or cat, he must be more than just a pet.
If you are capable of loving other peoples children...nieces and nephews, friends children.... you will do fine. Are you tempted to just sit down on the floor and play and talk to kids? Remember that there is half a world between you and the biological father!
I lost a sweet lady, who was my daughter-in-law, because she could not have her own biological children....
She channelled her energy into a career and the marriage failed. Today, she is re-married and has two adopted children and what a mom she is.....!
We are still good friends, I do so wish she were still part of our family.
Well, you see, "if I gets them, I darn well try to keep them"! There are those of the body, and those of the heart.
I do hope you find the ONE that is just right for you.......God Bless.
Mamma D
But.... the only way any of you will be able to make an intelligent choice is....... IF YOU GO AND MET THESE LADIES AND CHILDREN.
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HookSwoop is 35 year but he don't say the age range of his hunting ladies...
If he choice a woman around his age, a lot have already children... for these without, a first child after 35 year old add some little medical risk...
Now, some little statistic... i have use the database from Freepersonals.ru ... you have 24121 profiles on these site
If HookSwoop hunt in the range 25-35 year old, he can find 8999 profiles... if he remove the women with child, it lower to 5623... almost one woman on two is with children in these range of age...
Now, if he hunt in the range 18-25 year old, he will find 4334 profile... where 4077 women are without children...
From the previous 5623 lady from 25 to 35 year old, if he like fit women, he will remove ladies over 121lbs ( 55 kg ), result is 2554 ladies... if he remove short ladies ( below 1m65 ), the remaining is only 972 ladies... This from 24121 women from FSU...
So, he need to know his hunting range age, the desired weight and height, with or without child... once he have define these charateristic, make some check... if result are very low, he have maybe to much high expectation... If he choose a very young woman, he can find a lot without children... if he hunt around his age, it will be a lot more difficult... Russian women marry early in the life, maybe he can seek American women who have children later, who give priority to career over family...
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I'm with many other guys here-- I love kids!
In fact, that's the main reason I chose to marry a girl under 30--I wanted our family to be more than just her and me.
But Hook, every person is different. Do what you want to do.
Don't force yourself into a relationship with a woman and child if you don't want her child. Write her now and break it off.
And in the future, only seek and write girls without children.
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Bruno,
You have some very stringent standards:
Eliminate women over 121 pounds (55kg) and under 5'4" (1.65m).
I guess I do not have to fear competition from Belgium men.
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Bruno,
You have some very stringent standards:
Eliminate women over 121 pounds (55kg) and under 5'4" (1.65m).
I guess I do not have to fear competition from Belgium men.
::) ::) ::) They are not my standards... more old i become, more i become difficult on the side of character, mind, heart, etc... from the selected lady...
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Gator, Thank you for your input. That is exactly the advice I was hoping for. Your words will help me greatly as I think this through.
Bruno, docetae, viking: Thank you for your kind and helpful posts, I appreciate your time and understanding.
Momma D, your posts touched something inside me and gave me a lot to think about, thank you.
Albert, thank you very much for your support – I think you understand my position well.
JB, you seem to have missed the point of my post.
As some of you understood, I am not making marriage plans or trying to come to an ultimate decision today. I am just trying to work out how I truly felt about the situation and the possibilities, and I thought it would be good to ask for a little help and guidance from some people who might have been there.
I have full understanding of what a HUGE responsibility it is, hence why I asked for advice.
The main reason for the post was to help me decide if I should continue to correspond with the lady while I am unsure if I am mentally and emotionally prepared to be a father to her child IF (If! If! If! If! If!) things were to progress to that point.
As I tried to convey in my first post, I like this girl and would like to continue to get to know her; but I am trying to consider what is best for her since I have never really faced the idea of possibly falling for a lady with a child.
My brain tells me it is logical to continue correspondence and then travel to meet her, and let destiny decide it all. But my heart is asking, “is that fair to her?”
What if, hypothetically, she falls for me only for me to come to the realization that I could not handle the responsibility?
However, what if she is the right one for me and I am destined to fall in love with her AND her daughter, but I never realized it because I ran away too soon?
I feel myself in a delicate and difficult situation and I want to do what is both right and smart.
Maybe you're not telling us ALL of your thoughts, such as your possibly doubting : "Could it be that she's showing herself to me in her best colours because she's looking for someone mainly to take care of herself and her daughter ?"
No, absolutely not. I know she is a genuine and very sweet girl who only wants to find love, happiness, and a little security for herself and her daughter.
Don't force yourself into a relationship with a woman and child if you don't want her child.
I never meant to imply that I don’t want her child. I just meant it is an important decision and I asked for a little help.
Again, thank you all for your time and help. I will let you know how it goes! ;D
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Hi HookSwoop.
If you really like this girl then go and meet her. You have nothing to loose. But always have back up options, never go all the way to meet only one girl. Plan your trip and also plan for that this is not the girl for you. Many guys have traveled to meet only 1 girl and when there have been no chemistry between them they had no plans what to do the last 2 weeks of their trip..
Also remember that their can be more easy for a girl to settel down in a new country with a child. 5I lived 3 years with a girl that had a 10 month boy when we meet. When our relashionship ended the boy was 4 years old and I was in many ways his father. I loved that boy like it should be my own. Don't worry about the child, she is only 4 and she will soon love you like a father. Every child is a gift from God, always remember this. Also remember that you migth need to pay the father of the child money to take the child out of the country, even if the father don't care about the child at all. This is FSU tradition, where they can earn money they do, even on their children....
I wish you good luck and I hope that you Will post a trip repport on this site if you go..
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Here is another thread about a subject that hasn't been discussed recently
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I restarted this thread not to give the OP advice but to discuss
FSUW with children and what marrying into a ready made family
entails.
It seems the political threads are too captivating for members to
comment on this important subject.
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Factors to consider
1. Is the father a part of the child's life?
2. Will the father let the child move to your country?
3. How old is the child?
4. How will rules be enforced?
5. How will this affect your existing children?
6. Does the child know English?
7. This is a lot of responsibility is this something you
are willing to take on? Children don't come with return
or exchange policies or warranties.
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I have no idea why someone 35 would go to the FSU and seek someone that has a family and add complications to their lives .
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I have no idea why someone 35 would go to the FSU and seek someone that has a family and add complications to their lives .
Isn't it almost inevitable that, when looking for a gal under age 40 . . . that a child or 2 will be involved ?
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I have no idea why someone 35 would go to the FSU and seek someone that has a family and add complications to their lives .
I don’t know how things were back in 2006, but here’s the reality for the average 35 year old guy now online, who’s searching for a woman in her 30’s with English skills and no children.... It’s not an easy task and has the same issues that men find online dating in western countries.
I’ve been chatting regularly with and offering advice to 3 men in their 30’s about how to meet genuine women online.
In January, I met one after he posted on a facebook group that gives support and dating advice for those moving on after infidelity .... He’s 36, divorced, has been dating in the US successfully and has a 12 year old son. He has a good job in the mining industry and a house on some acreage.
A Russian woman on Zoosk messaged him..... After we chatted he realised the woman he was developing feeling for was a visa scammer. I showed him what sites to use, how to write a good opening letter that stands out and how to identify scammers from genuine women.
Being a single father he wasn’t fussed if he met a woman with or without a child and wrote to both. If I remember correctly he sent messages to 30 women. About half a dozen replies were scammers (mostly from those without children). One from
a genuine woman who didn’t have kids and approximately 15 replies from genuine women with children, in their early 30’s.
One woman from a city east of Moscow, who also has a young son, stood out from the rest. He book a ticket to visit her just as covid hit..... He couldn’t believe how easy it was meeting fsu women online compared with online dating at home, which he was successful at.
The second guy is older (late 30’s), a successful business man divorced with no kids, but wanted children. He was struggling on PPL sites. He joined fdating, dmnotify and Russian dating. At first messaged women without children and struggled getting replies and again those that did were usually scammers. He met several childless women online but there was no chemistry. He started messaging women with children under 10 and was inundated with replies from women who on paper didn’t have any red flags.
The last man (33) is only a month into the online phase and has not deviated from childless women in their late 20’s / early 30’s. As of a few days ago when we last chatted he’d sent hundreds of messages and didn’t have any promising replies, just a lot of scammers..... He’s bitterly disappointed and wondering why any man would contemplate FSU dating. I will admit he needs some guidance on writing good opening messages.
We’ve had some discussion about their different experiences and drawn some conclusions....A childless women in her 30’s, with good English skills is the most sought after FSU woman, by men in their 30’s, 40’s and even 50’s. Because of this, scammers create more fake profiles to take advantage of the demand...... In reality there’s a huge demand and a very small supply when you take scammers out of the picture.
Conversely single mothers in their 30’s and 40’s make up the largest percentage of legitimate profiles and get the least attention from men. Those who choose single mothers have countless more women to pick from and a lot less competition.
I was waiting to find the right place to put a reply like this and mainly for trenches benefit. We are probably the only two here who are in the early stages of this adventure and his biggest battle is finding genuine women. So far he’s not found a “good girl” as Bill puts it.
He’s busy improving his life and circumstances, but the best advice anyone could give him is to get online and get a dose of reality. He could have his shit together like the men above and struggle big time finding even one quality childless woman in her 30’s to visit.
Trench mastering your online “game” is just as important as making more money and getting physically fit. Without it you are going to keep struggling and never get to the first milestone of of FSU dating.... spending time with a good girl, that may lead to a relationship and marriage. A very good test for you right now is seeing if you can get a single mother to reply and move to video chat. If you can’t achieve this I wouldn’t waste another minute of your time FSU dating.
Lastly I’ll add that I’ve experienced fist hand the difficulties when it comes to moving forward with a single mother... Ex husbands etc... but for me, I have a large house and as my children leave home, I have a place in my life for a step child and for my younger children (early to mid teens), I think it would be a great experience having a step brother or sister from another culture.
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Isn't it almost inevitable that, when looking for a gal under age 40 . . . that a child or 2 will be involved ?
This ^^^^^^^
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This ^^^^^^^
Moby .....can you translate that for the mentally challenged?
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Isn't it almost inevitable that, when looking for a gal under age 40 . . . that a child or 2 will be involved ?
...that a child or 2 will may be involved.
There are exceptions of course but consider a lady who had a child at her age 20...that child is grown at her age 40. My wife is an example.
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I don’t know how things were back in 2006, but here’s the reality for the average 35 year old guy now online, who’s searching for a woman in her 30’s with English skills and no children.... It’s not an easy task and has the same issues that men find online dating in western countries.
I’ve been chatting regularly with and offering advice to 3 men in their 30’s about how to meet genuine women online.
In January, I met one after he posted on a facebook group that gives support and dating advice for those moving on after infidelity .... He’s 36, divorced, has been dating in the US successfully and has a 12 year old son. He has a good job in the mining industry and a house on some acreage.
A Russian woman on Zoosk messaged him..... After we chatted he realised the woman he was developing feeling for was a visa scammer. I showed him what sites to use, how to write a good opening letter that stands out and how to identify scammers from genuine women.
Being a single father he wasn’t fussed if he met a woman with or without a child and wrote to both. If I remember correctly he sent messages to 30 women. About half a dozen replies were scammers (mostly from those without children). One from
a genuine woman who didn’t have kids and approximately 15 replies from genuine women with children, in their early 30’s.
One woman from a city east of Moscow, who also has a young son, stood out from the rest. He book a ticket to visit her just as covid hit..... He couldn’t believe how easy it was meeting fsu women online compared with online dating at home, which he was successful at.
The second guy is older (late 30’s), a successful business man divorced with no kids, but wanted children. He was struggling on PPL sites. He joined fdating, dmnotify and Russian dating. At first messaged women without children and struggled getting replies and again those that did were usually scammers. He met several childless women online but there was no chemistry. He started messaging women with children under 10 and was inundated with replies from women who on paper didn’t have any red flags.
The last man (33) is only a month into the online phase and has not deviated from childless women in their late 20’s / early 30’s. As of a few days ago when we last chatted he’d sent hundreds of messages and didn’t have any promising replies, just a lot of scammers..... He’s bitterly disappointed and wondering why any man would contemplate FSU dating. I will admit he needs some guidance on writing good opening messages.
We’ve had some discussion about their different experiences and drawn some conclusions....A childless women in her 30’s, with good English skills is the most sought after FSU woman, by men in their 30’s, 40’s and even 50’s. Because of this, scammers create more fake profiles to take advantage of the demand...... In reality there’s a huge demand and a very small supply when you take scammers out of the picture.
Conversely single mothers in their 30’s and 40’s make up the largest percentage of legitimate profiles and get the least attention from men. Those who choose single mothers have countless more women to pick from and a lot less competition.
I was waiting to find the right place to put a reply like this and mainly for trenches benefit. We are probably the only two here who are in the early stages of this adventure and his biggest battle is finding genuine women. So far he’s not found a “good girl” as Bill puts it.
He’s busy improving his life and circumstances, but the best advice anyone could give him is to get online and get a dose of reality. He could have his shit together like the men above and struggle big time finding even one quality childless woman in her 30’s to visit.
Trench mastering your online “game” is just as important as making more money and getting physically fit. Without it you are going to keep struggling and never get to the first milestone of of FSU dating.... spending time with a good girl, that may lead to a relationship and marriage. A very good test for you right now is seeing if you can get a single mother to reply and move to video chat. If you can’t achieve this I wouldn’t waste another minute of your time FSU dating.
Lastly I’ll add that I’ve experienced fist hand the difficulties when it comes to moving forward with a single mother... Ex husbands etc... but for me, I have a large house and as my children leave home, I have a place in my life for a step child and for my younger children (early to mid teens), I think it would be a great experience having a step brother or sister from another culture.
Hi.
It is also difficult to find a real mans (legitimate profiles) 40-50 years old from Europe on sites...most of them are scammers-Nigerians or men with other goals, far from creating a family.
In Russia, when meeting a woman who has a child, men ask exactly the same questions:)
...and a woman also asks similar questions when a man has children from a previous relationship, if she doesn't have children of her own.
I wonder how this story ended in 2006?
(I apologize for my English)
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(I apologize for my English) I wonder how this story ended in 2006?
The English is just fine. Even if it is to your country [ Turkey]...the man must first visit the woman at his own expense. Otherwise...dismiss him as unsuitable.
There are many stories that have vanished without conclusive endings.
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I totally agree with you, tfcrew...Not matter what country a woman lives in.
The author of this post raised a difficult topic, but he was sincere in his reasoning about how ready he is to become a father and whether he needs it is general.
A woman with a child, entering into a new relationship, first of all pays attention to how well a man approaches the role of a father and only then a husband.
I hope, that he made the right decision, focusing on his own feelings, experience and goals. And I hope so, they both found what they were looking for and needed.
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In Russia, when meeting a woman who has a child, men ask exactly the same questions:)
My ex fiance's mother stayed celibate for since my fiance, never went on a date. Because she didn't trust another man around her daughters. I dated a ukrainian girl, her step dad tried to sexually pressure her , she told her mum, the mother spoke with the guy, they are still together, all live in the same house.
You will struggle finding a russian man who takes care of his biological kids after divorce, let alone another man's child. It is not the West down here, FSU don't shame dead beat fathers.
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You will struggle finding a russian man who takes care of his biological kids after divorce, let alone another man's child. It is not the West down here, FSU don't shame dead beat fathers.
[/quote]
In most cases, everything happens as you described, unfortunately.
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Hi.
It is also difficult to find a real mans (legitimate profiles) 40-50 years old from Europe on sites...most of them are scammers-Nigerians or men with other goals, far from creating a family.
The thin and prettiest girls get 80% of the letters. So it's super important
that a woman is thin and has at least shoulder length hair (longer is better)
and if you have that AND speak English then you are gold.
I don't know you or what you look like but it's super important that you
are thin. Western women who are over 35 who are thin and have long
hair are treated like rare gems, even if they have average looks.
Make sure you are a rare gem.
Secondly, join Elena's models. There are more men members than women.
Third, develop a good well thought out written answer as to why you live
in Turkey. Men will want to know if you are Muslim, previously belonged
to a harem, or something negative.
Lastly, you want a European man rather than American, Canadian, New
Zealander or Australian etc. My advice is when fishing for a husband is
to use a large net to gather as many prospects as possible then to sort
out the ones you don't like. Don't exclude hundreds of millions of men
because it takes longer to fly home to see Mamma.
Udachi!
Bill
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The thin and prettiest girls get 80% of the letters. So it's super important
that a woman is thin and has at least shoulder length hair (longer is better)
and if you have that AND speak English then you are gold.
I don't know you or what you look like but it's super important that you
are thin. Western women who are over 35 who are thin and have long
hair are treated like rare gems, even if they have average looks.
Make sure you are a rare gem.
Secondly, join Elena's models. There are more men members than women.
Third, develop a good well thought out written answer as to why you live
in Turkey. Men will want to know if you are Muslim, previously belonged
to a harem, or something negative.
Lastly, you want a European man rather than American, Canadian, New
Zealander or Australian etc. My advice is when fishing for a husband is
to use a large net to gather as many prospects as possible then to sort
out the ones you don't like. Don't exclude hundreds of millions of men
because it takes longer to fly home to see Mamma.
Udachi!
Bill
Thank you, Bill, for your advice)
I use many sites, but so far they have not led me to fateful acquaintance. In fact, I like to communicate and get to know other countries, mentality, language. There are no problems with correspondence, and the reason for my stay in Turkey at the moment is simple.
Oh, by the way, this is my real photo on avatar;)
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Thank you, Bill, for your advice)
I use many sites, but so far they have not led me to fateful acquaintance. In fact, I like to communicate and get to know other countries, mentality, language. There are no problems with correspondence, and the reason for my stay in Turkey at the moment is simple.
Oh, by the way, this is my real photo on avatar;)
As you can tell, photos in profiles to the left on this screen are too small for anyone to be able to tell what another person looks like.
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As you can tell, photos in profiles to the left on this screen are too small for anyone to be able to tell what another person looks like.
You're right, ML...
...but I can also tell that the person in your photo is wearing sunglasses and has a short haircut;)...this is not so small.
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Thank you, Bill, for your advice)
I use many sites, but so far they have not led me to fateful acquaintance. In fact, I like to communicate and get to know other countries, mentality, language. There are no problems with correspondence, and the reason for my stay in Turkey at the moment is simple.
Oh, by the way, this is my real photo on avatar;)
I wanted you to feel welcome and not defensive (Russian women sometimes
get offended) when I made the general comments about long hair and being
thin. Obviously your avatar photo doesn't show whether you have long hair
in a bun or whether your popka requires one or two chairs to sit down.
Regarding your hair, popka size or how many Turkish harems you've been
a member of are your personal business and I advise not telling sharing
them publicly with the forum. You surely get letters from weirdo's and
we have weirdo's around here as well, so I advise not feeding them
personal information.
Udachi!
Bill
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You're right, ML...
...but I can also tell that the person in your photo is wearing sunglasses and has a short haircut;)...this is not so small.
He's a secret agent and must hide his identity. :D
PS. Don't tell anyone it's a big secret :D
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I wanted you to feel welcome and not defensive (Russian women sometimes
get offended) when I made the general comments about long hair and being
thin. Obviously your avatar photo doesn't show whether you have long hair
in a bun or whether your popka requires one or two chairs to sit down.
Regarding your hair, popka size or how many Turkish harems you've been
a member of are your personal business and I advise not telling sharing
them publicly with the forum. You surely get letters from weirdo's and
we have weirdo's around here as well, so I advise not feeding them
personal information.
Udachi!
Bill
Of course, Bill, I understand and appreciate your kindness)
As the ML agent stated above, the photo is too small to have a clear idea of what a person looks like.
No personal information, of course, weirdo's are everywhere, you're right again...but I think that in my proposals, the information was non-confidential, but rather ordinary and general.
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And we deviated a little from the main topic.
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You're right, ML...
...but I can also tell that the person in your photo is wearing sunglasses and has a short haircut;)...this is not so small.
Did you see that thing growing on top of his lip?
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I'm somewhere between Momma D and Grumpy old Men - just mount the woman...!!
The rest tends to sort itself out...
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You will struggle finding a russian man who takes care of his biological kids after divorce, let alone another man's child. It is not the West down here, FSU don't shame dead beat fathers.
In most cases, everything happens as you described, unfortunately.
I am now dating someone , she told me there is a bad father culture , maybe both during and after marriage. But I am sure it is a lot worse after divorce compared to Western countries
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I am now dating someone , she told me there is a bad father culture , maybe both during and after marriage. But I am sure it is a lot worse after divorce compared to Western countries
Judging by my generation ... not only the culture of the father is blurred, but also the culture of the mother. Divorce is the result of unresolved problems in relationships, lack of common attitudes and values, goals. This is a problem of two people, but not one.
After a divorce, material support (alimony) is often insignificant and the woman finds herself in a difficult life situation not only from a material point of view, but also from a psychological point of view (the father either interrupts contact with his ex-wife and children, or devotes very little time to them)
I'm not saying that this is the whole situation, but such things happen quite often in our time.
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And we deviated a little from the main topic.
When I found my wife Angel Eyes, she had a daughter, I call her Smiley Girl,
and I realized I had two hearts to win, not one. We had Smiley Girl translating
for her Grandparents when I told them I was going to marry Angel eyes. She
was the happiest person in the room.
I wrote about my 9 year search to find Angel Eyes here.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3432.0
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From a relatively newbie FSU dating perspective, I was married long enough to raise two children to adulthood, now in my late 40's, divorced. It would not scare me to find a FSU Single Mom. In fact the lady I am communicating now is a Single Mom. Once you are a parent it is not hard to see yourself doing it again.
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For some men raising someone else's child isn't something they would want to do.
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For some men raising someone else's child isn't something they would want to do.
Children aren't for everyone and other people's children aren't for
everyone either. I reopened this thread so that people could discuss
the thought process(es) involved in deciding.
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Many American men and their wives (or partners) adopt children every year.
So what would be so different from this compared to marrying a woman who had a child?
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Tricky slope to traverse. My Ol' lady was pretty easy going in this space and hands off for years. I kind of figured it out as I went. She's a bit more painful now he's just on 17 - me thinks it's more about the fact he's nigh on leaving the nest age..🤔
The control freak in your RW (and trust me, it's there in all of them to some extent) will surface eventually - I did say to her recently that she probably wouldn't be welcome on his honey moon. I touched a sensitive area by the reaction I got....🤣🤣
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Many American men and their wives (or partners) adopt children every year.
So what would be so different from this compared to marrying a woman who had a child?
One is a choice, one is given. If asked whether they want to take on a child, i doubt many people would say yes.
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One is a choice, one is given. If asked whether they want to take on a child, i doubt many people would say yes.
Of all the WM/FSUW married couples I know or am aware of, I would say about 2/3s included children of the FSUW in the family setup.
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Of all the WM/FSUW married couples I know or am aware of, I would say about 2/3s included children of the FSUW in the family setup.
Generally those are the first women to be seeking men from abroad , to provide a better life for their kids. Also age is a variant , women I go for are between 18 to 25 , so many are without a child still.
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Generally those are the first women to be seeking men from abroad , to provide a better life for their kids. Also age is a variant , women I go for are between 18 to 25 , so many are without a child still.
What I’m trying to say that it’s still a choice and more men than not make that choice regardless of the motivations of the women.
It stands to reason that the age group you target are less likely to have children.
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One is a choice, one is given. If asked whether they want to take on a child, i doubt many people would say yes.
Indeed, I ruled out single mothers fairly early in my search after messaging one on Elena's Models. She was in one of the stans, she used to message me lengthy messages all about the history of the place, facinating stuff I was impressed though I wondered that it might have been largely scriped out and sent to every guy that or she may have been bored during the day. Anyway, in message terms we got on fine but I bailed before taking things to video chat. I decided that I didn;t want to lead her on any more than I might have already accidently done. It had dawned on me during our messaging that taking on her one son would be a big responsibility and most importantly a big financial strain at that time. I was ready for neither. As you know doubt already know importing a child from the FSU can be a big headache finacially and otherwise, that's something I didn't need the stress of early on in a relationship.
I know a few guys on here suggested that single mums would be a easier and better bet for my at my age in my early forties so shouldn't be discounted. I don't actually have anything against that and can see why they said it but I'm not sure it heightens the odds of finding a successful relationship in the FSU all that much. Would really need a girl to be totally committed to the guy rather than seeing him as someone to just carry her to a new life in the west I think.
To be honest I do like children, even other peoples can be quite charming but a FSU with a child would just be too much off an initial strain for me I felt. Here in the UK I get to see young single mums, one I have seen of late I would give a sraight 10 to on looks, young (early twenties, very pretty, petite but great figure, toned no fat, nice long hair) she has one young child and I would date her in a heartbeat. So I assume would loads of other guys her age as even if they don't like children that much that would be of hardly any weighting against her due to her being so attractive, she also seems a nice persona and personality as a sidenote. So my chances with a girl like that is almost certainly way, way down the line of guys, guys younger than me, good on looks, etc, etc. End of the day there is the realisation of how I stack up as a guy. A girl like that in the FSU she may get with me but it would be a toss up whether such a girl would stick around once in the west as she would likely gain many options.
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It stands to reason that the age group you target are less likely to have children.
Yes, i think 25-30 age group tends to be the best mix of knowing what they want, and beauty. Many of women in that group don't have a child.
What I meant was if they could remove the child from the picture , they would , not an added bonus
Indeed, I ruled out single mothers fairly early in my search after messaging one on Elena's Models.
I think if i was in my 40's, and i found someone i liked in their late 20s , who had a child. I might take the plunge. Depends on the dating market. I want a child now, but i need emotions for them.
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I don't think pontificating on who's got what adds up to much.
The important factor is, if you consider a lady with a child, think very carefully before proceeding. The "package" is much more complicated than simply finding a solution for your ailing sex life......
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Generally those are the first women to be seeking men from abroad , to provide a better life for their kids. Also age is a variant , women I go for are between 18 to 25 , so many are without a child still.
You are in an age specific situation and you are boots on the ground.
You have a supply and demand situation different than others.
For men who are older and don't have boots on the ground the situation
is considerably different. There is a surplus of US men who are 40+ years
old who want a wife and family. There is a surplus of FSUW who are over
35 who desire the same.
For those 40-50 years old, they need to figure out what they are getting into
and what this kind of commitment entails.
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The control freak in your RW (and trust me, it's there in all of them to some extent)
You are 100% correct, preaching to the choir.
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so that people could discuss the thought process(es) involved in deciding.
My thought process
I raised two of my own, I think I did it right! Saying that sarcastically. Ultimately I wanted to raise them to be healthy functioning people in society that could think for their self, sometimes they seem to be smarter than me. But I don't think there is a correct way to raise children, there are good practices you can use, but as long as you raise the children in a house of love, I think it will work out. A manual certainly would of helped. But that is what all parents say in hind sight. But I also was a boy scout leader as well, and before we go down that road, no, not that kind of boy scout leader. So I have worked with boys from several personality types. I always enjoyed working with children. I would not of mind helping raise another.
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There are guys that get married and move their Russian wife and family
to the USA and then they have 147 fights about raising the kids especially
disciplining a sullen teen age Russian boy. (all male teen age step kids are
sullen at least half of their waking life).
The man assumed that he would be able to tell the boy that he is grounded
and the wife assumed that ONLY she would discipline her perfect Angel.
Both Assumed incorrectly and they got a big divorce and broken hearts they
didn't live happily ever after the End. F#ck!
It's my advice to have at least a hundred conversations about every single
facet of parenting with a woman before you marry. Including how to pay
for college, what to do if they run away from home, what to do if they are
caught smoking, naked with a teenage girl, wreck the family car, smoke weed,
have naked photos on the internet, took naked photos of the neighbors and put
them on the internet on and on and on and on.
I would assume NOTHING. I would talk about EVERYTHING. You are marrying your
future partner in crime, you both need to be on the same page.
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It's my advice to have at least a hundred conversations about every single
facet of parenting with a woman before you marry. Including how to pay
for college, what to do if they run away from home, what to do if they are
caught smoking, naked with a teenage girl, wreck the family car, smoke weed,
have naked photos on the internet, took naked photos of the neighbors and put
them on the internet on and on and on and on.
I would assume NOTHING. I would talk about EVERYTHING. You are marrying your
future partner in crime, you both need to be on the same page.
That is a HUGE Given! I would say thousands on conversations need to take place. Hell.... I even did that with my own children and my previous wife.
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I raised two of my own, I think I did it right!
I was the oldest of 6 kids, I changed a thousand diapers before I ever
saw a real girl nekkid. I've raised three boys to adulthood and as far
as my Russian wife is concerned I am barely trusted to keep the house
from burning down in their absence.
It's possible other FSUW have different opinions, I've only married the one
girl and that was her opinion.
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I raised two of my own, I think I did it right! Saying that sarcastically.
Lets put that in context. But yes I get what you mean :)
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Bumping the thread for comments on marrying an FSUW with children.
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For some men raising someone else's child isn't something they would want to do.
This is generally me. I would ordinarily feel like a sucker taking care of the outcome of another guys sex life. That said I like children and if the girl I really liked so much then I would do it. I don't just mean looks wise either but whether our personalities seem to align.
Recently I have come across a girl in the UK who is just that and very beautiful, she has a kid has good cities in that she is actually bothered with her kid and is probably about twenty years younger than me. I don't think anything would happen there as I think too many other younger guys and too many guys in general would be interested as she is so hot. That's if the guy she had the kid with is out the picture which I doubt also.
Normally a girl with a kid is a big minus for her in finding another guy. If she had more than one kid then an even bigger minus. Kind of like a racehorse being given a heavier weighting to carry lol. For a lot of women it destroys any chance of finding another guy moreso for the less attractive looking girl. If the girl is pretty though (definitely in the west) then it hardly makes a difference as guys will still be around her like flies around sh*t. If good genetics are on hand in a women I think most men will then be willing.
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I am now dating someone , she told me there is a bad father culture , maybe both during and after marriage. But I am sure it is a lot worse after divorce compared to Western countries
Possibly, some of it may be down to good intentions of the guy then him being unable to fulfill those good intentions because of a poor economy. I'm always skeptical when women claim this I tend to think that it's more the woman being stiffed out of something she feels is her due by the guy, i.e he is going out and supporting her, or well enough to her liking by handing over his pay check. I think an important point here is that sometimes the new guy/guy interested can be inadvertently wading into the bust up in someone else's relationship and that my not be great for him.
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If you are a starter it is not a good idea to get an instant family. If you already have experience, and maybe some child of your own, it should not be an issue. After all you are already in the shoes of the guy that left your prospec.
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Have you asked about the father of her child? Was she married? If so, why is she divorced? If not, what is the father's role in her child's life? In Ukraine, a child moving abroad can only do so with the consent of the remaining parent. If there is a father on her child's birth certificate, he will have to consent to her moving, if things go that far.
+1
A detail that almost all western ignore, they ran into a nice photo and realize in the end that the woman finally cannot leave or the father will ransom him in a way or another. Not all men are like this, but you can find many problems If she has a child and the father doesn't want to let it go easy.
If she is willing to separate her child thousands of miles from it's father, why do you think she would not do the same to you and your child? You might want to think long and hard before starting a family with such a person. :popcorn:
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You are assuming the father is not a dead beat father, most fathers in Ukraine discard their kids . All the women I dated , had father's that were dead beats , women I communicated with who had kids , had a kid with a dead beat. They might be more interested in the pay off they would get for signing off that their child can go to the west .
Do you think women who sleep with deadbeats are marriage material?
Women get married early in the FSU, far too early in many cases.
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It's plain to see that there are a multitude of potential entanglement, snares,
and pitfalls when pursuing a woman with a child. Think it through, talk it
through.
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I married a FSUW with a child. I didn’t set out on this venture looking for that set up but that’s what I came home with eventually.
10 yrs on and still married.
Child now a young teen.
Child of our own.
Plus my own children from my first marriage.
Has it been plain sailing throughout?
No
But all our children call me ‘Daddy’
Are kids expensive?
Damn right they are. ( Trench- take note)
Are they worth it?
Completely.
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Good summation JG, and very similar to my experience.
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Are they worth it?
Completely.
Did you get an estimate? :P
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This is generally me. I would ordinarily feel like a sucker taking care of the outcome of another guys sex life. That said I like children and if the girl I really liked so much then I would do it. I don't just mean looks wise either but whether our personalities seem to align.
Recently I have come across a girl in the UK who is just that and very beautiful, she has a kid has good cities in that she is actually bothered with her kid and is probably about twenty years younger than me. I don't think anything would happen there as I think too many other younger guys and too many guys in general would be interested as she is so hot. That's if the guy she had the kid with is out the picture which I doubt also.
Normally a girl with a kid is a big minus for her in finding another guy. If she had more than one kid then an even bigger minus. Kind of like a racehorse being given a heavier weighting to carry lol. For a lot of women it destroys any chance of finding another guy moreso for the less attractive looking girl. If the girl is pretty though (definitely in the west) then it hardly makes a difference as guys will still be around her like flies around sh*t. If good genetics are on hand in a women I think most men will then be willing.
Depends on the man , if he has good qualities , he will be able to find many women without a child . A child is a massive minus for many men , and often is avoided . But when you reach a certain age in life , not as physically desirable anymore , got to do whatever it takes .
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Did you get an estimate? :P
Yes- Priceless
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Depends on the man , if he has good qualities , he will be able to find many women without a child . A child is a massive minus for many men , and often is avoided . But when you reach a certain age in life , not as physically desirable anymore , got to do whatever it takes .
Not at all.
If one has children then it’s probably better to find a partner who also has a child and can better relate to and empathise with what it takes to raise children.
Nothing to do with ‘physical desirability’.
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Not at all.
If one has children then it’s probably better to find a partner who also has a child and can better relate to and empathise with what it takes to raise children.
Nothing to do with ‘physical desirability’.
Tell yourself whatever makes you sleep better at night . Plenty people find someone who hadn't had kids before , and create a family with them . a lot of women who do not have kids will dodge a man that has kids. Also once you reach a certain age looks tend to fade unless someone takes good care of themselves, or had other attributes to provide (money) .
We can go around circles , find one off examples , but kids is a major turn off.
I think if I am in my 40s and single , a young woman in her early 20s with kids wouldn't be a bad match
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Tell yourself whatever makes you sleep better at night . Plenty people find someone who hadn't had kids before , and create a family with them . a lot of women who do not have kids will dodge a man that has kids. Also once you reach a certain age looks tend to fade unless someone takes good care of themselves, or had other attributes to provide (money) .
We can go around circles , find one off examples , but kids is a major turn off.
I think if I am in my 40s and single , a young woman in her early 20s with kids wouldn't be a bad match
I think you should go and read my post a few times since you seem to have some difficulty in understanding what I wrote.
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Tell yourself whatever makes you sleep better at night . Plenty people find someone who hadn't had kids before , and create a family with them . a lot of women who do not have kids will dodge a man that has kids. Also once you reach a certain age looks tend to fade unless someone takes good care of themselves, or had other attributes to provide (money) .
We can go around circles , find one off examples , but kids is a major turn off.
I think if I am in my 40s and single , a young woman in her early 20s with kids wouldn't be a bad match
A young woman in her early 20s would be a bad match with or without kids.
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A young woman in her early 20s would be a bad match with or without kids.
Wise words.
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I think if I am in my 40s and single , a young woman in her early 20s with kids
wouldn't be a bad match
Young women in their Early 20's is a terrible match for marriage for
ANYBODY. Men in their early 20's have to date them because older
women won't.