Do's and Do Not's in the FSU

[Bruce]

There are many "superstitions" that people / women in the FSU seem to hold true.  One is that you should not whistle in the house (singing is ok).   If you send a note to someone you should have an odd number of explanation points and never an even number!!!   If you give a girl roses they should be an odd number ie. 3, 5, 7 etc. unless the occassion is a funeral.  There are many more that a guy could easily look up and I hope some member will list a bunch for you all.  The point is that when dating / interacting with women from the FSU it is in your best interests to stick to their cultural norms whenever possible.  How you toast is important in a gathering ie. make sure you do not drink until all the glasses in a reasonable distance are clanked together after the initiator finishes speaking and he /  she drinks.  Colors of flowers you give are important - hopefully someone like JB or another one of the true cultural experts on this board can add to this.  Of course you will often stick out and do "incorrect" things.  It is only natural for foreigners to sometimes stick out.  However, trying to do / stay within cultural norms goes a long way.  The more you know about the culture, the better you will interact in the FSU, as well as the more likely you will understand what is going on around you and the more likely you are to score points with the women you meet! 

[Albert]

Bruce, this whole bit about the superstitions is overplayed and also tells you something about the women you are involved with and their family/friends.

The really educated and sophisticated women in the FSU will tell you that these superstitions are something that their parents and grandparents believe in, but not themselves.  It is the same as we could probably say about our great great grandparents.  They are about 75 years or more behind in FSU in dropping some of the silly stuff.

So if you are an educated and sophisticated guy, then beware of hooking up with women who still insist on some of this silliness.  It tells you they really aren't as cultured as you may think.

My advice is to ignore all the supposed 'rules' and that will be a good way to weed out some of the women . . . i.e. those who put up a fuss.  In my experience with over 150 of these ladies, not more than 5 or so ever got bent out of shape with anything that I did re the 'rules.'   Most of them laughed about the 'rules' when I mentioned any of them.

Remember, these women are mostly looking for a foreign man for good reasons.

[Bruce]

I understand where you are coming from.  I just think an educated guy regarding customs and superstitions in the FSU is more likely to come out ahead.  I have been wrong in the past and this could be another time.  Lets see if the board thinks it is a waste of time or not.

[Bruno]

[line]
My advice is to ignore all the supposed 'rules' and that will be a good way to weed out some of the women . . . i.e. those who put up a fuss.  In my experience with over 150 of these ladies, not more than 5 or so ever got bent out of shape with anything that I did re the 'rules.'   Most of them laughed about the 'rules' when I mentioned any of them.

[line]
Albert,... you have meet several woman... and they agree with you... but they lie !!!

I was married with a russian woman ( she was 19 year old when i have know her ), and before the marriage, she say that she don't believe in superstition... but the first thing she have make in Belgium, it is to change the position of the bed... the foot need to be where the sun stand-up... when the children was ill, she put a coin of money on the head for make away the devil ... and a lot of more...

Why they lie !!! They know that Western man don't believe in this and they will not loose the man for this... but when you life together, you see it...

And it is not only with RW... take a woman magazine from US... when a American woman ask your newspaper, it is not for the sport page but for the horoscope...

Bruce, flowers are my speciality... you go regret to have ask information about flower... below, a very long list of flower and her meaning for russian woman ( it is the international meaning of flower each, good flower shop need to know it ):

Absinth/Wormwood: Separation and Torment of Love
Acacia: Platonic Love, concealed love
Aconite/Monkshood: Misanthropy and Poisonous Words
Adams's Needle: A Friend in Need
Adonis: Recollection of Life's Pleasure
Almond: Virginity and Fruitfulness
Almond Blossom: Hope and Watchfulness
Aloe: Wisdom and Integrity
Allspice: Compassion
Alyssum (sweet): Worth beyond beauty
Amaranth: Fidelity
Amaranth, Globe: Unchangeable
Amaryllis: Pastoral Poetry, Pride
Ambrosia: Your Love is reciprocated
Anemone: Refusal and Abandonment, Forsaken
Apple: Symbol of Perpetual Concord
Apricot Blossom: Timid Love
Abor Vitae: True Friendship
Arbutus: Thee only do I Love
Artemesia: Symbol of Dignity
Asphodel: Languor and Regret
Aster: Daintiness, Symbol of Love
Azalea: Fragile and Ephemeral Passion
Baby's Breath: Happiness
Bay Wreath: Reward of Merit
Begonia: "Beware! I am fanciful!"
Bindweed: Coquette and Busybody
Bittersweet: Truth
Blackthorn/Sloe: Difficulty and Austerity
Blue Bell: Delicacy and Humility
Bouquet of Withered Flowers: Rejected love
Burdock: Importunity and Boredom
Buttercup: Childishness
Cactus: Bravery and Endurance
Camellia: Excellence and Steadfastness
Camellia, red: You're a flame in my heart
Camellia, white: You're adorable
Camomile: Initiative and Ingenuity
Candytuft: Indifference
Canterbury Bell: Constancy and Warning
Cardinal Flower: Distinction and Splendor
Carnation: Fascination
Carnation, Pink: Emblem of Mother's Day, I will never forget you
Carnation, Purple: Antipathy and Capriciousness
Carnation, Red: Admiration, my heart aches for you
Carnation, Striped: No, Sorry, I cannot be with you
Carnation, White: Pure Love, Sweet Love, Innocence
Carnation, Yellow: Disdain and Rejection
Cedar Leaf: "I live for thee"
Chestnut: Independence and Injustice
China Aster: Jealousy and After-thought
Chrysanthemum: You are a wonderful friend
Chrysanthemum, Red: I love you
Chrysanthemum, White: Truth
Chrysanthemum, Yellow: Slighted Love
Cinnamon: Love and Beauty
Clematis: Artifice and Ingenuity
Clove: Dignity and Restraint
Clover: Fertility and Domestic Virtue
Clover, Four leafed: Symbol Of Good Luck
Clover, Five leafed: Symbol Of Bad Luck
Cockscomb/Celosia: Silliness or Foppery
Coltsfoot: Maternal Love and Care
Columbine: Cuckoldry and Deserted Love
Convolvulus: Humble Perseverance
Coreopsis: Always cheerful
Cornflower: Delicacy
Crane's-bill/Wild Geranium: Constancy and Availability
Crocus: Youthful Gladness, Attachment, Cheerfulness
Crown Imperial: Majesty and Power
Cyclamen: Resignation & Goodbye
Daffodil: Emblem of Annunciation/Regard, Unrequited love
Dahlia: Good Taste
Daisy: Gentleness, Innocence, Loyal love
Dandelion: Oracle of Time and Love, Faithfulness, Happiness
Day Lily/Hemerocallis: Emblem Of The Mother
Delphinium: Airy
Dogwood: Durability
Edelweiss: Daring & Noble Courage
Eglantine: Spring & Poetry
Elderberry Blossom: Humility and Kindness
Everlasting: Constancy
Fennel: Strength
Fern: Sincerity, Magic, Fascination, Confidence, Shelter
Fir: Time & Evaluation
Forget-me-not: Faithful Love, Memories
Forsynthia: Anticipation
Fuchsia: Amiability
Gardenia: "I love you in secret"
Geranium, Oak-leaf: Friendship
Geranium, Rose: Preference
Gillyflower, Pink: Bonds Of Affection
Gladiolus: Strength Of Character, I am really sincere
Gloxinia: Love at first sight
Goldenrod: Treasure And Good Fortune
Heather, Purple: Admiration, Beauty and Solitude
Heather, Pink: "Good Luck"
Heather, White: Protection From Danger
Heliotrope: Devotion, Eternal Love
Hibiscus: Delicate Beauty
Holly: Foresight
Hollyhock: Ambition and Liberality
Honeysuckle: Sweetness Of Disposition
Hyacinth: Games & Sports
Hyacinth, purple: I am sorry, Please forgive me, Sorrow
Hyacinth, white: Loveliness, I will pray for you
Hyacinth, yellow: Jealousy
Hydrangea : Vanity, Thank you for understanding, Frigidity
Iris: Faith, Wisdom, Valor, Your Friendship means so much to me
Ivy: Friendship, Wedded love, Fidelity, Friendship, Affection
Jasmine, Red: Folly and Glee
Jasmine, White: Amiability and Cheerfulness
Jasmine, Yellow: Timidity and Modesty
Jonquil: Violent Sympathy and Desire, Love me, Affection returned
Lady's Slipper: Capricious Beauty
Larkspur: Open Heart
Laurel: Success and Renown
Lavender: Constancy
Lilac, Mauve: "Do You Still Love Me"
Lilac, Pink: Youth and Acceptance
Lilac, White: "My First Dream Of Love"
Lily, Calla: Majestic Beauty
Lily, Day: Coquetry
Lily, Orange: Hatred and Disdain, Wealth, Pride
Lily, White: Majesty and Purity, Virginity
Lily-Of-The-Valley: Purity and Humility, Sweetness
Lotus: Mystery and Truth
Love-In-The-Mist/Nigell: Delicacy and Perplexity
Magnolia: Dignity, Splendid Beauty
Marigold: Sacred Affection, Cruelty, Grief, Jealousy
Marjoram: Comfort and Consolation
Marvel-Of-Peru: Flame of Love
Mistletoe: Affection and Love
Mimosa: Sensitivity
Myrtle: Love, Mirth and Joy
Narcissus: Egotism, Formality
Nasturtium: Patriotism
Oleander: Beauty and Grace
Orange Blossom: Your Purity Equals Your Loveliness, Innocence, Eternal Love
Orange Mock: Deceit
Orchid: Magnificence, Love, Beauty, Refinement
Pansy: Thoughtful Recollection
Passionflower: Faith and Piety
Peach Blossom: Generosity and Bridal Hope
Pear Blossom: Health and Hope
Peony: Healing, Life, Happy Marriage, Gay life
Peppermint: Warmth of Feelings
Periwinkle, Blue: Early Friendship
Periwinkle, White: Pleasures of Memory
Petunia: Anger and Resentment
Phlox: Sweet Dreams
Plum Blossom: Beauty and Longevity
Poinsettia: "Be of Good Cheer"
Poppy: Imagination, Dreaminess, Eternal sleep
Poppy, yellow: Wealth, Success
Primrose: Young Love, I cannot live without you
Primrose, evening: Inconstancy
Queen Anne's Lace: Fantasy
Rose, Bridal: Happy Love
Rose, Carolina: Love Is Dangerous
Rose, Christmas: Peace and Tranquility
Rose, Coral/Orange: Enthusiasm, Desire
Rose, Dark Pink: Thank you
Rose, Light Pink: Admiration
Rose, Musk: Capricious Beauty
Rose, Pale: Friendship
Rose, Peach: Let's get together, Closing of the deal
Rose, Pink: Love, Grace, Gentility, You're so Lovely, Perfect Happiness, Please believe me
Rose, Pink & White: I love you still and always will
Rose, Red: Love, Desire, Respect, Courage, Job well done
Rose, Red & Yellow: Congratulations
Rose, White: Charm, Secrecy, Silence, You're Heavenly, Reverence, Humility, Youthfulness and Innocence
Rose, White on Red: Unity/Flower Emblem of England
Rose, Yellow: Infidelity, Joy, Gladness, Friendship, Jealousy, Welcome Back, Remember me
Rose, Yellow & Orange: Passionate thoughts
Rosemary: Constancy, Fidelity and Loyalty
Salvia, Blue: "I Think of You"
Smilax: Lovely
Snapdragon: Presumption, Deception, Gracious lady
Snowdrop: Hope and Consolation
Spearmint: Warmth of Sentiment
Spider Flower: Elope with me
Statice: Lasting Beauty
Stephanotis: Happiness in marriage
Stock: Bonds of affection, You will always be beautiful to me
Sunflower: Homage and Devotion
Sweet Basil: Good Luck
Sweet Pea: Departure, Blissful pleasure, Thanks for a lovely time
Sweet William: Gallantry, Finesse and Perfection
Thrift: Sympathy
Thyme: Courage and Activity
Tiger Lily: Wealth and Pride
Tuberose: Dangerous Pleasures
Tulip: Symbol of The Perfect Lover
Tulip, Red: Believe me, Declaration of love
Tulip, Variegated: Beautiful eyes
Violet: Modesty and Simplicity
Viscaria: Will you dance with me?
Wallflower: Friendship and Adversity
Water Lily: Eloquence and Persuasion
Wisteria: Youth and Poetry
Xeranthemum: Eternity and Immortality
Yarrow: Healing
Zinnia: Thoughts of Absent Friends
Zinnia, Pink: Lasting Affection

[Bruce]

Bruno - thanks alot.  I agree with you 100%.  My girl is well educated etc. but she still has to sleep on a certain side of the bed etc.  It is just their way........., easy to deal with, and the more a Western guys knows about it ahead of time the better it will be for him.  Thanks for the flower information.  This should be starred and a resource for every board member.  Dan, maybe you can extract the flower information Bruno provided and put it in a sticky!  I was always wondering what the color of the Roses really mean't!!!

[Vaughn]

Bruce wrote: "My girl is well educated etc. but she still has to sleep on a certain side of the bed etc.  It is just their way........., easy to deal with, and the more a Western guys knows about it ahead of time the better it will be for him."

I agree totally. Albert might feel that superstitious women are relics of the past, but the fact is, many of them still are believers. My wife's also educated and sophisticated, not at all naive nor a dummy, yet she adheres to a few of those Old World notions. Even the 2 ladies who arranged our first meeting stopped me when I tried to re-enter the apartment when I thought I left an item upstairs - BAD LUCK - to turn back when one has begun his departure. Of course, a quick glance in the mirror will counter  the effect, LOL. Now, to be honest, my wife's now 41 - and maybe Albert's referring to younger girls, I'm not sure. Yes, she also mentions my frequent whistling in the house, but that's a happy habit I've been nurturing a long while. No problem. Even Albert Einstein didn't walk under ladders.

I just love my Old World schoolteacher wife, superstitions and all.

Vaughn 

 

[BC]

I happily traded my whistling for being able to leave the toilet seat up..

There are many more like not scraping breadcrumbs from the table into your hand..  Don't run out the door-sit down for 30 seconds prior to leaving the house.. don't greet or say goodbye with the doorstep between you etc etc..

The babushka with healing powers.. herbal medicine.. evil eyes..  All little tidbits that make life so interesting with my wife.  Some really do make sense though.

 

[Jet]

I have to agree whole heartedly with Bruno! My wife is highly educated and still believes in a number of these cultural "superstitions" though she dismisses most of them as silliness. Here a a couple more:

Never do anything over the threshold of an entrance doorway (handshakes, kisses, etc.)

If you spill salt, there will be a "scandle" (usually over the mess you just made of the kitchen )

Take a few moments to sit with your luggage before you leave for a trip.

If you leave something behind while visiting, it means you will return. (She said thats why people are ESPECIALLY careful not to leave anything behind at the end of a hospital stay )

 

[Elen]

Also even number of flowers and a kiss in forehead remind Russian of funeral:?

[Bruno]

and more :

- Praising a Russians appearance or a babies health will prompt a knock on unpolished wood and spit three time over the left shoulder.

- If you must give a sharp object as a gift ask for a coin in return.

- No one whistles indoors for fear of losing all their money.

[Elen]

don't buy anything for baby until newborn arrived

And mother would not be pleased if stranger with black or brown color of eyes looks at her newborn. (nothing troubles with blue eyes:D, though)

[Elen]

And we don't like to marry in May, because this word at Russian sounds similar to the word "suffer" - МАЯТЬСЯ. It's jusy bad omen - "If you marry in May you will be suffer all your life" (Жениться в мае - маяться всю оставшуюся жизнь"

Of course it's silly bat nevereless people try to "ignore" this month