Question

[phantom]

Hello,

I have one question, as I have met a Russian girl in the US, she's been here for three years.  Things are going real well and I was wondering, as she's already here in the US, is there any legal requirements for marriage?

[AkMike]

That depends on her immigration status.
Is her visa current or is she an illegal "overstay?

[2tallbill]

Congratulations,

I don't know what the status of your lady is. Is she here on some kind of visa?
Does she have a green card? Does she have permanent residence? Others
could ask better questions than I could.

Udachi!

Bill

 

[ML]

Regarding 'legal requirements for marriage.'

The determining factor is date of first sex . . . and the method of sex.

For 'Clinton Sex' there is no requirement that you marry.

For other types of sex . . . must marry within 27 days of first event.

[BC]

I don't think there is a requirement to get married.  Just living together will work.

[Shadow]

Real question is of course what happened that she is three years in the US and single.

[BillyB]

Real question is of course what happened that she is three years in the US and single.

She was waiting for a guy like Phantom to show up.

[phantom]

Ok, she was here on a travel visa, that has expired now.  I never asked her visa status before, as after going to meet and getting more involved, it just came up.  So, I imagine I'll need a lawyer.  I guess she was waiting for a guy like me.  She also has a child.

[AkMike]

Get some more answers out of her. How did she manage to get a visa with a child? That's unusual. There may be more to the story.

 Have you looked thru Google using her name?

[krimster2]

if she overstayed a travel visa that might make her ineligible for a K-1 visa, if you're thinking about that in the future, 3 years seems a long time for a travel visa, I thought initially it was for only 6 months, how old is the child?

"I guess she was waiting for a guy like me"
You can be certain of it!!!!

[BillyB]

Ok, she was here on a travel visa, that has expired now.  I never asked her visa status before, as after going to meet and getting more involved, it just came up.  So, I imagine I'll need a lawyer.  I guess she was waiting for a guy like me.  She also has a child.

Some guys here take visa fraud seriously. Our government doesn't take it as serious. You could marry her here and adjust her status to make her and her child legal to stay here. Speak to a few immigration attorneys and choose one who has done this kind of work.


It's in everybody's head and I'm sure it's in your head. Are you being used? You better make good judgement because if you're getting used, when she divorces you, it will be very ugly. We've had guys here who had their houses cleaned out when the wife left them. Some left the marriage too early to stay in America permanently but filed false domestic violence charges to get an exemption from those rules. Ask yourself if this woman would love you if she was already living in America legally.

[phantom]

I googled her name and didn't find anything.  I'll find out some more, never thought how to ask how she got the travel visa or even how she got it with a child.  She just said it was a Russian travel visa, her child tried to help her explain as she helps her with English.  Yes, I do have to think, would she be interested in me, if she was all ready a citizen.  Don't want to be used and get into a messy divorce.

[AkMike]

Try going to your local court house web site and look her up if she's been in this area for a while.

 Russia doesn't issue travel Visa's to the US.   The US issues them.
From the limited amount of information that we know so far it doesn't add up to me.

[phantom]

She's not in my area, she's actually in another, we made contact on a Russian dating site, that has some Russian girls in the US.  She requested my contact details from the agency, I allowed them to give them to her and we made our contact and meeting plans from there.

[BillyB]

Yes, I do have to think, would she be interested in me, if she was all ready a citizen.  Don't want to be used and get into a messy divorce.

You came to this forum asking for legal requirements for marriage. You're in America and so is she. What's the rush? Take your time and when you're comfortable that she likes you for you, then talk marriage.

[mendeleyev]

If she had a clean travel record, meaning she has left Russia, visited other countries, and then returned on time, it is possible to have a 10 year visa. If the US has little or no background, then if a travel visa is issued it is for a short time.

The fact that she has been here that long, and her child still has to translate English, tells me that she has primarily been around Russians (a man likely) and that would explain the child.

That she has overstayed is a character issue. If she will cheat and use the system, will she cheat and/or use you? Likely. Leopards don't change spots.

[BillyB]

it is possible to have a 10 year visa. If the US has little or no background, then if a travel visa is issued it is for a short time.

It's possible she has a 10 year visa but nobody can stay 10 years continuously. Homeland security officers usually allows tourists, even on a 10 year tourist visa to stay 6 months or less at a time to which they must leave the country. Officers do have the discretion to grant up to a year stay. Phantoms girl has been here 3 years. That tells me she's been here 2 1/2 years illegally.

That she has overstayed is a character issue. If she will cheat and use the system, will she cheat and/or use you? Likely. Leopards don't change spots.

Many people have come to America using illegal methods. Sneaking on boats, crossing the desert, and violating visas. I met some American citizens and green card holders that have done illegal things to get here but are good people and working hard. Wanting a better life is a good thing. Phantom's lady understands life in America is better for her and her child than in Russia.


Violating a visa is closer to violating the speed limit than murdering somebody. We all can marry a person who violated the speed limit. Violating a visa isn't a deal breaker for many of us either but one should evaluate the character of the person who violated a visa.

She's not in my area, she's actually in another, we made contact on a Russian dating site,

In your first post, you said you met her. Did you actually meet face to face? Because you live in different areas, can you see her often? To figure out this woman's character, you need lots of time being together. If you don't have that luxury, I'd look for someone else.

[Shadow]

She's not in my area, she's actually in another, we made contact on a Russian dating site, that has some Russian girls in the US.  She requested my contact details from the agency, I allowed them to give them to her and we made our contact and meeting plans from there.

Find out as much as possible on how she got to the  US and her reasons for staying. If she presses you because of her status do not accept, she has managed for 3 years and she will manage 3 more if nobody of interest comes along.
If you hit it off as great match and the visa issue can be fixed by a marriage, great. But if you notice that there is constant pointing at her status more than interest in who you are, you might be looked at as a mule to take her to the next level.

[BC]

As for the processes involved, suggest you check out visajourney.com

It's probably the most comprehensive informal source around.

Can also agree with most if not all posted above.  The last thing you should be feeling is that you are in some kind of rush to get things done.  If that is the case and you feel 'rushed' or pressure in any way to act the only way to resolve it is to SLOW DOWN.  Patience and work on the relationship alone.  The rest will work it's way out over time.  Enjoy your lower, but think with your upper brain.

[Gator]

Things are going real well and I was wondering, as she's already here in the US, is there any legal requirements for marriage?

   

Has your accountant explained to you the rule of the "Three F's?" If it Flies, Floats or Fucks,  rent it. 

Why marry?  Simply live together for as long as life together is good.  You will spend maybe a little less than if married without the legal mess of possible divorce.

One of my wife's acquaintances  overstayed her visa.   In the three years I have known her, she has been with multiple AM.  She tells us each time, "He loves me and I live in his home."  3-6 months later she is looking for another man.  And she has no child.

If this woman really likes you, she will understand and accept the situation.  And you can wait until there is an immigration amnesty program.   

 

[krimster2]

I would second what Gator and others are saying here, go slow.  before I took my first "hunting" trip to Ukraine back in the late 90's I met a couple of single Russian women with children in the bay area and they had a superficial resemblance to the woman you describe.  when asked about how it was they came to be in the USA they were secretive about it and upset that I should ask such a question, but IT IS something you should know.  Obviously at one point there was man involved somewhere who's not there now, her secrecy on the subject and just general lack of openness and honesty should be "red-flags" for you moving this relationship to a more serious permanent legal level.  also be careful, they know that they can claim abuse from a man and expect to have some legal entitlements, so be aware of the pitfalls in this relationship if you decide to live together, if it doesn't work out then you can use the knowledge gained to go hunting over there like most of us on this board did...

[phantom]

There is no real rush here, so I will proceed slowly.  We have met face to face, there have been two visits.  She's in California, me in Michigan.  She did say she could come here to Michigan.  As its nice she has a child, to me that was a plus, as at 49, going to be 50 later this year, so having a baby I'm too old.  I'll proceed slowly, not rushing and ask more questions on this with her.

[krimster2]

she's in California?  the state with the highest male/female ratio, the state that's full of male engineers with $100,000 salaries who can't get a date?
she could drop an ad on Craig's list and never have to buy a meal the rest of her life (if she's half-way decent looking)  I'd visit first before I invited her over, something's not right with this picture....

[BC]

There is no real rush here, so I will proceed slowly.  We have met face to face, there have been two visits.  She's in California, me in Michigan.  She did say she could come here to Michigan.  As its nice she has a child, to me that was a plus, as at 49, going to be 50 later this year, so having a baby I'm too old.  I'll proceed slowly, not rushing and ask more questions on this with her.

Two dates does not a marriage make.
Enjoy but take your time evolving as a couple.

[alex330]

I believe the State you live in can play a factor, but in Florida you can just marry her and begin the process. Only issue is her ability to leave the country until she is current.

I think there is a much higher risk of being used as a mule by women who have overstayed their VISA. Just my observation from the women my wife has met in country. Just go slow as others mention.

[ML]

I believe the State you live in can play a factor, . . .

Not correct.

The rules are Federal . . . doesn't matter what state.

[BillyB]

there have been two visits.  She's in California, me in Michigan. 

With her visa issue, the amount of face to face time to really understand if she likes you or trying to use you will take longer than the norm and you two aren't getting enough face to face time. I would drop her and move on. You may be doing her a favor. If you take it slow, you both would be risking losing years of your life for each other over a long distance relationship. If a woman had a question about her character and she lives close to me, I would date her more than once to figure her out. If a woman had a question about her character and she lived thousands of miles away, I'd move on. Keep dating others and don't put your life on hold for this one.

[mendeleyev]

Many people have come to America using illegal methods. Sneaking on boats, crossing the desert, and violating visas.

We will have to disagree on this one, Billy. Dishonesty isn't measured by degrees.

[Shadow]

There is no real rush here, so I will proceed slowly.  We have met face to face, there have been two visits.  She's in California, me in Michigan.  She did say she could come here to Michigan.  As its nice she has a child, to me that was a plus, as at 49, going to be 50 later this year, so having a baby I'm too old.  I'll proceed slowly, not rushing and ask more questions on this with her.

Charlie Chaplin had a baby well in his 80´s. 

[ML]

Charlie Chaplin had a baby well in his 80´s. 

No, he fathered his last child at age 73.

[BillyB]

We will have to disagree on this one, Billy. Dishonesty isn't measured by degrees.

We all lie and for those who deny it, they lie to themselves. Humans aren't perfect so we need to accept dishonesty to a certain degree. I can accept a person who violates a visa more readily than someone who swindles millions of dollars from people. A guy may not get used by a woman who enter this country illegally. I vote for phantom leaving the woman because of the distance they live from each other which makes it much harder to verify her feelings and character. I'm not writing her off because of one misdeed.

[phantom]

I'm not going to rush into this, also get to know different women that are a bit closer as well.  Well, 49/50 not too old to father a child, 73 though.  Going to get t to know others, not rushing into it, now that I'm back to searching.  Make a few trips here and Russia and Ukraine as well, perhaps.  Feelings have to be verified.  Going to slow down, not too much, don't want to waste another 3-4 years.

[mendeleyev]

We all lie and for those who deny it, they lie to themselves. Humans aren't perfect so we need to accept dishonesty to a certain degree

Of course we all lie from time to time, but there is a place for admitting, extending an apology, and then walking a different path afterwards. Violating a visa over stay and continuing to live in the host country is not just one lie--it is habitual and continual. No, we do not need to accept dishonesty. That is akin to allowing an employee to steal money, but shrugging it off. A wise mentor used to say that someone who will steal a postage stamp will also steal millions if given the chance.

[BC]

Of course we all lie from time to time, but there is a place for admitting, extending an apology, and then walking a different path afterwards. Violating a visa over stay and continuing to live in the host country is not just one lie--it is habitual and continual. No, we do not need to accept dishonesty. That is akin to allowing an employee to steal money, but shrugging it off. A wise mentor used to say that someone who will steal a postage stamp will also steal millions if given the chance.

Although the overstay is indeed illegal, the 'loophole' does seem to allow adjustment of status in some (maybe many) cases.  In any case I believe a solid relationship will need to be established for it to get through the system and be acceptable.  That in itself will take time.

I do agree the overstay is not proper and illegal, especially after such a long period of time but in the end what's the choice, go back to her country with a 10 year ban for re-entry and apply for a K-1/K-2?

I think this 'loophole' is well known and even tolerated by design.  Otherwise it would have been closed up tight eons ago.

Phantom did not bring this woman over on a tourist visa so he should not be faulted.  They are just courting after the fact.  If it is or becomes 'love' or something close then it's best to just let it be IMHO and save the ensuing drama.  After all it seems the K process is a no brainer and the bar is not set that high so what the heck.

It should however be a 'heads up' as it regards motive.

Stranger things than this have happened in the past LOL.

[2tallbill]

Not correct.

The rules are Federal . . . doesn't matter what state.

Marriage laws vary from state to state but you are correct that
visa laws are Federal.