Russian Women Discussion
RWD Discussion Groups => Introductions and Ice-Breaker => Topic started by: RealBFE on January 11, 2020, 06:54:35 PM
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I stumbled across this site a couple of months ago, and have been reading as time permits. I was married for 20 years and after a few years of being single I am ready for a serious relationship again. I am in my early 40s with a comfortable income for my area and the ability to travel several weeks a year. I'm physically fit and quite active so most people assume I'm in my mid 30s. Most of my US dating experience has been on sugar dating type sites so I am used to age gap dating and being guarded about scams.
I'm looking for a tall, attractive FSU woman around 25-30 who doesn't have or want children. I seem to be getting a lot of attention from women I find attractive on Elenasmodels but they either have/want kids or don't speak English. I thought English was tought in schools for people in this age group.
Any suggestions of good dating sites to look into? For an English only speaker, would it make sense to take a trip and try meeting someone offline instead?
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Welcome 😊
Try fdating.com as an alternative and use the search function to find English speaking women.
Finding a woman in that age range who doesn’t want a child or has young children already is possibly going to be your biggest challenge. Most of the women I’ve talked with place a higher importance on having children and a family than most western women.
Don’t rule out older women your age. There are some amazing beautiful women in their early 40’s who have a youthful out look on life. I’ve spent time with two older women and they have both been fun to be with and had a youthful exuberance.
There are lots of 40+ women on fdating that have adult children or no children, which might be an easier option over younger women of a child baring age.
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Welcome to our world.
Will be tough to find a gal anywhere who doesn't have or doesn't want children.
There have been a couple of guys here who thought they had found such, but after bringing the gals here marrying them, and continuing 5 years or so, the gals changed their mind and wanted children; and marriages ended.
Go read, Pursuing FSUW 101 and other threads in the starting out section as shown below.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0
And don't be saying you look younger than your age; it will bring you grief here.
Listen to what everyone here says and keep what you think suits you best.
And don't get offended and start arguing back against the experts here, and then threaten to leave and never come back.
Dozens have gone that route and always toughen up and come back eventually.
You can read the last part of my venture (which is only a tiny part of my experience) here:
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=18530.0
When you read a person's advice here; ask for their bonafides.
My bonafides: 30 or more trips to FSU over 15 years or so (mostly on business for first 10 years of that) having first dates with over 150 FSU women, third dates and more with probably 50 or so, extended time (a week or more) with 20 or so, month long visits/trips with 9, and now living with FSU gal here in USA for 9 years, married for last 5 years.
Best of luck to you.
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Welcome to our world.
Will be tough to find a gal anywhere who doesn't have or doesn't want children.
There have been a couple of guys here who thought they had found such, but after bringing the gals here marrying them, and continuing 5 years or so, the gals changed their mind and wanted children; and marriages ended.
Go read, Pursuing FSUW 101 and other threads in the starting out section as shown below.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0
And don't be saying you look younger than your age; it will bring you grief here.
Listen to what everyone here says and keep what you think suits you best.
And don't get offended and start arguing back against the experts here, and then threaten to leave and never come back.
Dozens have gone that route and always toughen up and come back eventually.
You can read the last part of my venture (which is only a tiny part of my experience) here:
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=18530.0
When you read a person's advice here; ask for their bonafides.
My bonafides: 30 or more trips to FSU over 15 years or so (mostly on business for first 10 years of that) having first dates with over 150 FSU women, third dates and more with probably 50 or so, extended time (a week or more) with 20 or so, month long visits/trips with 9, and now living with FSU gal here in USA for 9 years, married for last 5 years.
Best of luck to you.
Appreciate the advice and the links. I'm hoping my age and location work to my advantage. I know the childfree life is a hurdle, but I know eventually I will find the right one. I am ready to settle down with the right woman but I'm not going to rush into anything either. I joined fdating.com a few months ago, but didn't put much effort into it. I guess I can try that again.
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Welcome to the forum RealBFE. There are lots of FSU women in Florida. Many go there for seasonal work or to live. I remember being on Mamba.ru and there were lots of FSU women in Florida.
If you don't want children ever, make sure to bring that up early the ladies you communicate with. I remember a member here that didn't want kids and got married. His wife had a change of heart. It ended up in divorce. Be aware, people change over time. The younger the lady, the greater the chance she will change her mind on kids in the future.
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Welcome to the forum RealBFE. There are lots of FSU women in Florida. Many go there for seasonal work or to live. I remember being on Mamba.ru and there were lots of FSU women in Florida.
If you don't want children ever, make sure to bring that up early the ladies you communicate with. I remember a member here that didn't want kids and got married. His wife had a change of heart. It ended up in divorce. Be aware, people change over time. The younger the lady, the greater the chance she will change her mind on kids in the future.
Since it is so important to me, I cover the issue of children within the first 3 messages, often starting the conversation by asking about her views on it. I also plan to have an childfree clause written into the prenup since Florida law considers a married man to be legally responsible for a child born to a wife regardless of the biological father.
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Florida law considers a married man to be legally responsible for a child born to a wife regardless of the biological father.
How does a childfree clause help you unless you allow your wife to have kids with another man? Even if you accidentally have kids with a wife or she tricks you by forgetting to take her birth control pills, a childfree prenup isn't going to relieve you from having to financially support the child
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How does a childfree clause help you unless you allow your wife to have kids with another man? Even if you accidentally have kids with a wife or she tricks you by forgetting to take her birth control pills, a childfree prenup isn't going to relieve you from having to financially support the child
The clause would have stipulations modifying the divorce settlement should she become pregnant since it obviously would not be mine. I am not relying on her methods of birth control.
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The more a prenup deviates from State law, the more likely a judge will throw it out. In family court when it comes to divorce, a family court judge is going to put the interest of children before the interests of the husband and wife. A child has no say in that prenup. The judge will make a decision that will take care of that child regardless if husband and wife both have agreed upon prenups to excuse themselves of responsibility of a child.
I don't know about the Florida law you're talking about but if a wife has a child by another man, can a husband immediately divorce his wife and Florida in turn will make the biological father pay child support?
The clause would have stipulations modifying the divorce settlement should she become pregnant since it obviously would not be mine.
I don't believe a person can penalize a spouse for bad behavior and give themselves more property in the event of a divorce. Isn't Florida a no fault state? Don't need a person to be at fault to initiate a divorce and a judge isn't going to penalize someone for bad behavior.
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Welcome to the forum, BFE.
My experience regarding women who do not want children from Eastern Europe are ones that are not too interested in a marital relationship. You can find those all day long. We call them Pro Daters.
The simple fact is that once that biological alarm clock starts starts ringing the FSU Women come a'running.
Two quick observations to help you on your way:
1. There should be a plethora of Russian women in Florida. Might be a good idea to date one or two of those to understand the mindset.
2. If you do wind up with one of these women, you will know when she is into you. You become her whole life. Most Western Men aren't ready for that type of mentality. These women are not game players, per se. Were I you, I would back my target range to 30 - 35. The women in this range generally are much more pragmatic about what they need to do to make a relationship work.
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The more a prenup deviates from State law, the more likely a judge will throw it out. In family court when it comes to divorce, a family court judge is going to put the interest of children before the interests of the husband and wife. A child has no say in that prenup. The judge will make a decision that will take care of that child regardless if husband and wife both have agreed upon prenups to excuse themselves of responsibility of a child.
I don't know about the Florida law you're talking about but if a wife has a child by another man, can a husband immediately divorce his wife and Florida in turn will make the biological father pay child support?
I don't believe a person can penalize a spouse for bad behavior and give themselves more property in the event of a divorce. Isn't Florida a no fault state? Don't need a person to be at fault to initiate a divorce and a judge isn't going to penalize someone for bad behavior.
The point of the clause would be to identify terms that would be less advantageous to the wife in divorce if she were pregnant with another man's child. So long as the divorce is finalized prior to birth, all issues of child support would be avoided and there's nothing for a judge to decide.
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Large age gaps are not that common anymore. The FSU has become MUCH more affluent than in 1991.
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Welcome to the forum, BFE.
My experience regarding women who do not want children from Eastern Europe are ones that are not too interested in a marital relationship. You can find those all day long. We call them Pro Daters.
The simple fact is that once that biological alarm clock starts starts ringing the FSU Women come a'running.
Two quick observations to help you on your way:
1. There should be a plethora of Russian women in Florida. Might be a good idea to date one or two of those to understand the mindset.
2. If you do wind up with one of these women, you will know when she is into you. You become her whole life. Most Western Men aren't ready for that type of mentality. These women are not game players, per se. Were I you, I would back my target range to 30 - 35. The women in this range generally are much more pragmatic about what they need to do to make a relationship work.
1. I have dated 3 FSU women. One living in Florida, one living elsewhere in US and one in the US on vacation. My experience with these ladies is what made me decide to seek a FSU wife.
2. I have no problem with the mentality of FSU women, actually it is what I am seeking. While I wouldn't avoid someone 30-35 based solely on age, I find my interests and lifestyle work better with someone under 30 in addition to my attraction preferences.
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Large age gaps are not that common anymore. The FSU has become MUCH more affluent than in 1991.
I have been considering reducing my age in my dating profile by 5 years just to clear the age filters for this reason but I have have already received several expressions of interest from woman that were in my target age range who identified their preferences for a man under 40.
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The point of the clause would be to identify terms that would be less advantageous to the wife in divorce if she were pregnant with another man's child. So long as the divorce is finalized prior to birth, all issues of child support would be avoided and there's nothing for a judge to decide.
To design a prenup that will hold up in court, you will have to get an attorney to represent your future wife and if English is not her first language, it's best to get an interpreter. That way she has representation to protect her interests and a clear understanding of what she is signing.
An attorney will write up a prenup anyway you want but it's best to take the attorney's advice on what you can or can't do/say in a prenup. A prenup can't be written to dismiss State laws. In my opinion, a prenup should be designed to enforce state laws and prevent a judge from deviating from those laws. Judges have a lot of discretion in family court and their rulings can be unfair. Some judges may favor men over women or women over men. A prenup that follows state guidelines in a divorce is more likely to be honored by a judge which in turn keeps the judge from deviating from it since it mirrors State laws.
If you insist on a prenup that is lopsided with all kinds of language describing ugly scenarios and penalties, you may lose a quality woman in seconds after spending months of trying to win her heart. If you insist on a prenup that follows the State guidelines and is fair based on what the attorneys say, she will feel you are willing to take care of her to some degree should things end. She will respect you and be happy to have you as a husband.
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I have been considering reducing my age in my dating profile by 5 years just to clear the age filters for this reason but I have have already received several expressions of interest from woman that were in my target age range who identified their preferences for a man under 40.
and photoshop photos... :D I think lie about age will not make any good.
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and photoshop photos... :D I think lie about age will not make any good.
You're missing the point. I have no need for photoshop. I have not dated with less than a 12 year age gap since my wife. My only concern would be to get in front of an audience that had dismissed me before viewing my profile solely on a numeric filter. If I were to change my age in my profile, I would disclose my real age inside the text of my profile as to begin the relationship truthfully.
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To design a prenup that will hold up in court, you will have to get an attorney to represent your future wife and if English is not her first language, it's best to get an interpreter. That way she has representation to protect her interests and a clear understanding of what she is signing.
An attorney will write up a prenup anyway you want but it's best to take the attorney's advice on what you can or can't do/say in a prenup. A prenup can't be written to dismiss State laws. In my opinion, a prenup should be designed to enforce state laws and prevent a judge from deviating from those laws. Judges have a lot of discretion in family court and their rulings can be unfair. Some judges may favor men over women or women over men. A prenup that follows state guidelines in a divorce is more likely to be honored by a judge which in turn keeps the judge from deviating from it since it mirrors State laws.
If you insist on a prenup that is lopsided with all kinds of language describing ugly scenarios and penalties, you may lose a quality woman in seconds after spending months of trying to win her heart. If you insist on a prenup that follows the State guidelines and is fair based on what the attorneys say, she will feel you are willing to take care of her to some degree should things end. She will respect you and be happy to have you as a husband.
The prenup would be written here and presented to her by an attorney of her choosing in her own language before the visa process is started, then resigned again on us soil so she has adequate representation. I would rather scare someone early than invest years of my life in the wrong person. Time is one asset I cannot replace. I am not a lawyer, but can't imagine a judge showing prejudice against someone who has documented their intentions to remain without children who attaches medical disclosures with the prenup as evidence of the decision and wants to protect themselves from visa fraud.
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presented to her by an attorney of her choosing in her own language before the visa process is started
If she chooses an American attorney based out of Florida, would you fly the attorney to the country she's living in? Don't let her pick an attorney from her country that has no idea about Florida law and her rights in Florida. In the event of a divorce, her attorney may attempt to throw the prenup out and all the attorney needs to give the judge is one good reason.
There are risks marrying somebody. There are rewards. We can increase the rewards and minimize the risk by making good decisions. Get to know a woman well. Spend a lot of time with her. Make sure she's "into" you. If you marry a good woman and you're good to her, you won't have to worry about her doing bad to you.
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If she chooses an American attorney based out of Florida, would you fly the attorney to the country she's living in? Don't let her pick an attorney from her country that has no idea about Florida law and her rights in Florida. In the event of a divorce, her attorney may attempt to throw the prenup out and all the attorney needs to give the judge is one good reason.
There are risks marrying somebody. There are rewards. We can increase the rewards and minimize the risk by making good decisions. Get to know a woman well. Spend a lot of time with her. Make sure she's "into" you. If you marry a good woman and you're good to her, you won't have to worry about her doing bad to you.
No, I wouldn't fly the Florida attorney to her. That's one of the reasons I said it would be signed in her home country and again on US soil. I do plan on taking my time and getting to know her but when it comes to kids, women can do funny things and I don't want to be broke and divorced in my 50s because someone decided to change their mind on something I was very clear from day 1 was a deal breaker.
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I stumbled across this site a couple of months ago, and have been reading as time permits. I was married for 20 years and after a few years of being single I am ready for a serious relationship again. I am in my early 40s with a comfortable income for my area and the ability to travel several weeks a year. I'm physically fit and quite active so most people assume I'm in my mid 30s. Most of my US dating experience has been on sugar dating type sites so I am used to age gap dating and being guarded about scams.
I'm looking for a tall, attractive FSU woman around 25-30 who doesn't have or want children. I seem to be getting a lot of attention from women I find attractive on Elenasmodels but they either have/want kids or don't speak English. I thought English was tought in schools for people in this age group.
Any suggestions of good dating sites to look into? For an English only speaker, would it make sense to take a trip and try meeting someone offline instead?
- Most women 25-30 will want children.
- Many women 25-30 who say they don't want children, can change their minds. A prenup won't protect you from this.
- Most women 25-30 aren't interested in a guy in their 40s (yes, no different in the FSU and you're no different).
- Many women, particularly FSUW aged 25-30 are FLAKY! They're not mature or ready for cross-cultural marriage.
- Women seeking sponsors (i.e., sugar daddy relationships) will date older for the money. This age gap doesn't translate to regular girls.
- On average Russian women aren't tall compared to other European countries.
- The majority of FSU women do not speak English or speak poorly. This ratio increases the further you get away from central Europe and the major cities.
You're better off looking to date someone closer to your age that either has a late teenage/adult child or is of that age and not wanting children. I think you're pushing shit up hill to meet a woman with your desired criteria - blunt but setting expectations. Don't fall for the line that young FSUW date significantly older. They don't unless you sponsor them. (Yes there are exceptions but a broken clock is right twice a day)
If you have the time I suggest you look at studying Russian at university in a summer school program. You will pick up language skills and get some time in country to date, but you'd need at least a month.
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No, I wouldn't fly the Florida attorney to her. That's one of the reasons I said it would be signed in her home country and again on US soil. I do plan on taking my time and getting to know her but when it comes to kids, women can do funny things and I don't want to be broke and divorced in my 50s because someone decided to change their mind on something I was very clear from day 1 was a deal breaker.
Just get the snip.... As a fellow middle aged guy who’s dating and doesn’t want more kids, it’s the best investment I made.
I’d just put your real age on your profile. With the amount of BS most FSU women go through with western men online you’ll lose more women than you gain. Even if you come clean they will see the contradiction and won’t reply. They face a lot of men playing all sorts of games and will tar you with the same brush for the smallest indiscretion.
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Just get the snip.... As a fellow middle aged guy who’s dating and doesn’t want more kids, it’s the best investment I made.
I’d just put your real age on your profile. With the amount of BS most FSU women go through with western men online you’ll lose more women than you gain. Even if you come clean they will see the contradiction and won’t reply. They face a lot of men playing all sorts of games and will tar you with the same brush for the smallest indiscretion.
I got the snip several years ago along with the associated follow ups which is why I said divorce would be the expected remedy for pregnancy. I tend to agree with your point in regards to the age issue and so far I haven't seen using my real age being a barrier to getting responses.
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I have been considering reducing my age in my dating profile by 5 years just to clear the age filters for this reason but I have have already received several expressions of interest from woman that were in my target age range who identified their preferences for a man under 40.
Not sure that doctoring your age would do any good for you in the eyes of a female prospect on a dating site. Personally I have seen a few guys doing that in order to appear eligible to a younger woman. To me, it is lying.
Agree with previous responses. FSUW generally want kids. More than that, some of them tend to have less than good opinion of a man who does not want kids. Cannot tell how prevalent this mentality though.
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Not sure that doctoring your age would do any good for you in the eyes of a female prospect on a dating site. Personally I have seen a few guys doing that in order to appear eligible to a younger woman. To me, it is lying.
Agree with previous responses. FSUW generally want kids. More than that, some of them tend to have less than good opinion of a man who does not want kids. Cannot tell how prevalent this mentality though.
The vast majority of women under 40 worldwide would prefer to have kids, however this isn't 100% of women. I would agree, I have seen a harsher level of response to childfree life from some FSU women but I believe it is mostly in line with their very "direct" personality traits.
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In most ‘depressed economic regions’, the natural lifestyle tendencies was to marry young and begin a family.
Increased available life choices option for women have impacted such traditional tendencies. FSU population of women is not any different in this regard.
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I have been considering reducing my age in my dating profile by 5 years just to clear the age filters for this reason but I have have already received several expressions of interest from woman that were in my target age range who identified their preferences for a man under 40.
Bad start! You seek a woman worthy of loving, enduring relationship. And to kick it off, you deceive her. This will not bother bad women because they will do the same to you.
What does a sincere, honest, good-hearted RW think about this? Lily is such a woman (I know her), and she answered you directly.
Not sure that doctoring your age would do any good for you in the eyes of a female prospect on a dating site. Personally I have seen a few guys doing that in order to appear eligible to a younger woman. To me, it is lying.
Lily had more to say. You should ponder her words.
FSUW generally want kids. More than that, some of them tend to have less than good opinion of a man who does not want kids. Cannot tell how prevalent this mentality though.
Many RW may think you "egotistical" or "greedy" - these words, translated from Russian are fatal flaws.
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So you want a RW to forgo children and give up her friends, her family, and her country just to move to your world. BIG QUESTION: what do you and your world give her that she can not find in the FSU?
There are some women who will forgo children because they have "big dreams" about owning a business. They will need a mentor and sponsor to get them established in the business world. This could give you at least 10 years together, maybe until death do you part.
I am an old fossil, and my experience from years and years around women says women change more than men. And the younger they are, the more likely their goals will change. Years from now, your dream woman may change her idea about what's best for her life, your lifestyle and/or goals may not be compatible.
I suggest that you continue your dreams for 20-somethings. There are at least two RWD mrn here who years ago accomplished what you seek, and their childfree marriages endure today. There may be others. Yet I know of multiple such marriages that failed.
IN ADDITION, I suggest you consider women over 35 in one of these two categories:
1. She never had children and does not want them now. But she wants a brand new life. Miami is a great option.
2. She had a child early so the child is approaching university years, and will be starting their own life soon. Perhaps she is highly educated and would be delighted if her child went to a top-tier American university.
I dated a number of FSUW in their late 30s and older (I met my lovely wife 14 years ago when she was 40 - she gets better every year). This age group has many fine and fascinating specimens looking for a good man. You have to spend much time searching, and even more time meeting them.
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I'm looking for a tall, attractive FSU woman around 25-30 who doesn't have or want
children. I seem to be getting a lot of attention from women I find attractive on
Elenasmodels but they either have/want kids or don't speak English. I thought
English was tought in schools for people in this age group.
Any suggestions of good dating sites to look into? For an English only speaker,
would it make sense to take a trip and try meeting someone offline instead?
WARNING: Cold Hard truth below read at your peril. Seriously, I'm not kidding
below is the truth but it's not written in the fluffy rainbow participation trophy
kind of way that some people think is best.
What the OP wants is a unicorn. A 25 year old good girl FSUW who doesn't have
or want kids and won't want kids 10 years from now AND is interested in +40 year
old Western men AND knows English AND is hot and tall doesn't exist.
The OP is attracted to 25-30 year old hot and tall women? Virtually every hetero-
sexual man on Earth is attracted to them including every man in Russia, Ukraine,
Belarus or elsewhere in the FSU. The OP found some girls who say "Oh yes!
Mr Real BFE, I want to be your tasty little unicorn!" The good girls ignored your letter
because you were too old and didn't want kids or will once you've announced your
intentions. Those that remain will have less than pure motives.
You eliminate the good girls then you are left with girls who will harvest your
kidneys and happily ruin your life to advance themselves. This is the way to
find the mule seekers, the Greencard girls, gold diggers and the DV girls.
There isn't a prenup agreement that a lawyer can draw up that defines what
happens if a young gal has a man friend punch her several times in the face,
then calls the cops and say you did it.
What you want is a good girl. That's really the only thing that matters. Everything
else should be secondary to that. You have unrealistic expectations based on limited
experience. I didn't come here today with the plan of letting the air out of your sails.
I am giving you the truth based on my extensive experience hunting, dating and
pursuing FSU Women.
Having said that there are hot women good girls who are older and who will
be interested but not under 35 years old.
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Wow. My Edward Everett to your Abraham Lincoln.
You, sir, said in thirteen sentences what would have taken me forty or fifty to say.
I congratulate you, 2Tall. You are the forum sage.
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So you want a RW to forgo children and give up her friends, her family, and her country just to move to your world. BIG QUESTION: what do you and your world give her that she can not find in the FSU?
There are some women who will forgo children because they have "big dreams" about owning a business. They will need a mentor and sponsor to get them established in the business world. This could give you at least 10 years together, maybe until death do you part.
I am an old fossil, and my experience from years and years around women says women change more than men. And the younger they are, the more likely their goals will change. Years from now, your dream woman may change her idea about what's best for her life, your lifestyle and/or goals may not be compatible.
I suggest that you continue your dreams for 20-somethings. There are at least two RWD mrn here who years ago accomplished what you seek, and their childfree marriages endure today. There may be others. Yet I know of multiple such marriages that failed.
IN ADDITION, I suggest you consider women over 35 in one of these two categories:
1. She never had children and does not want them now. But she wants a brand new life. Miami is a great option.
2. She had a child early so the child is approaching university years, and will be starting their own life soon. Perhaps she is highly educated and would be delighted if her child went to a top-tier American university.
I dated a number of FSUW in their late 30s and older (I met my lovely wife 14 years ago when she was 40 - she gets better every year). This age group has many fine and fascinating specimens looking for a good man. You have to spend much time searching, and even more time meeting them.
At least someone "gets it"
Let's see what I have to offer
Summer year round instead of snow and cold
Suburban living in an area that has culture and a decent European community
A 2 seat convertible car instead of dirty diapers
3 to 5 vacations a year with lots if adrenaline filled adventures in addition to weekend getaways
Business experience to assist with growing a business if she has an idea that she wants to develop
A loving partner who never has to choose his children's happiness over his wife's happiness
A husband who is exciting, easy on the eyes, who doesn't abuse her or substances
Access to the best medical care in the world overseen by a concierge physician that is available 24x7 via cell phone.
The ability to interact with children as she sees fit, donating her time to worthy causes but being able to say no at any time.
This isn't the life everyone chooses, but for some people it is a dream come true. This is the life I have chosen and the right woman is out there to share it with me if I look hard enough.
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Yes, but the responses you are receiving are not ones you particularly are attuned to.
The demographic group of 25-30 years old is a group that has their entire lives ahead of them. What Gator just told you is that even if the woman walks into the marriage with certain ideas, she will change throughout the years. Especially in that age range.
I am sure that in certain personality types your definition of happiness would coincide. But it is far more likely that partially due to the age disparity, and even with the best intentions, the overlay of what make such a woman eschew children would have a similar effect on your relationship. Once the enticements of living in a warm weather climate and a perceived increase in affluence are digested for a couple of years, the age of the young wife would lead her to explore other outlets.
Hey, don't let us dissuade you. If you need a 25-30 year old, then that is what you will pursue. But Gator did not 'get it' because he was telling you in a subtle way that to obtain that which you are seeking, you most likely have to yield on one or two of your prerequisites.
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I don't want to be broke and divorced in my 50s because someone decided to change their mind on something I was very clear from day 1 was a deal breaker.
Humans change their mind. Who hasn't? Having a woman sign a piece of paper agreeing to have no kids and penalize her if she changes her mind is not healthy for the relationship you want to enter into with her. You may change your mind first and get your vasectomy reversed. Will the prenup equally penalize you should you change your mind? If two people are in a loving relationship, they understand their minds can change naturally and won't hold it against each other but try to find a solution.
You don't want to be divorced. None of us do. Have you ever thought about taking divorce out of the equation completely and not get married? Some men and women are fine with short term relationships that have benefits. Some women are fine with a long term relationship without marriage and if she later wants kids or another partner, you both can go your separate ways. The key is to not get too emotionally attached to your partner in those kind of relationships so when one person walks away, it's not devastating and you both can still be friends.
Let's see what I have to offer
Summer year round instead of snow and cold
Suburban living in an area that has culture and a decent European community
A 2 seat convertible car instead of dirty diapers
3 to 5 vacations a year with lots if adrenaline filled adventures
Business experience to assist with growing a business if she has an idea that she wants to develop
A loving partner who never has to choose his children's happiness over his wife's happiness
A husband who is exciting, easy on the eyes, who doesn't abuse her or substances
Access to the best medical care in the world overseen by a concierge physician that is available 24x7 via cell phone.
That's a great offer for a girl who's a 5 and don't have many options. If you're looking for a 10, you need to beat your competition because a 10 has lots of men to choose from. They can dismiss guys who want a prenup signed and go to the next guy in line who doesn't penalize them for changing their minds. I consider my wife a 10 in looks. She could've gotten married to a millionaire and had one pressuring her mom to pressure her into a relationship. I'm not a millionaire but I consider myself a 10 in the brain department. So we are both 10's and equals. My wife will not fall in love with a man who offers vacations, gifts, money and has smoking hot looks so man in that's a 10 in those departments couldn't win her heart. There must be more.
My wife wants a hard working family type of man. With a guy like that, she knows she can achieve the family she dreams of. She's the kind of girl that wants a big house, white picket fence, dogs, and 2.5 kids. She'll finish college 2021. After getting a job, she'll want kids. I'm already 50yo and although I'm fine with never having kids again, I'm also fine if it happens again.
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At least someone "gets it"
Let's see what I have to offer
Summer year round instead of snow and cold
Suburban living in an area that has culture and a decent European community
A 2 seat convertible car instead of dirty diapers
3 to 5 vacations a year with lots if adrenaline filled adventures in addition to weekend getaways
Business experience to assist with growing a business if she has an idea that she wants to develop
A loving partner who never has to choose his children's happiness over his wife's happiness
A husband who is exciting, easy on the eyes, who doesn't abuse her or substances
Access to the best medical care in the world overseen by a concierge physician that is available 24x7 via cell phone.
The ability to interact with children as she sees fit, donating her time to worthy causes but being able to say no at any time.
This isn't the life everyone chooses, but for some people it is a dream come true. This is the life I have chosen and the right woman is out there to share it with me if I look hard enough.
So far so good ;) May be you could offer her something to upgrade her profession in FL?
RW might be interested in a husband of a good professional and social standing, I guess you could put that on the table as well.
Regarding your wish for a younger woman, if I may offer you any advice, do not lie about your age. From my own experience on dating sites, men who write " I am told I look ** years old' or 'Sorry my real age is **(+10 to his profile) due to mistype' just portray themselves despicable in woman's eyes. She will be the one who decides if she is interested or not. Not your explanations.
Instead, suggest that you select photos that demonstrate your healthy, sporty looks. If you have good muscular body, put a tasteful photo of your torso in a nice t-shirt. If you don't have that type of body - get one. If you do sports, post a photo of you competing, for example. If you have good skin, post a good face pic. You want a younger wife, the onus is on you to be adequate to your prospects!
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In most ‘depressed economic regions’, the natural lifestyle tendencies was to marry young and begin a family.
Increased available life choices option for women have impacted such traditional tendencies. FSU population of women is not any different in this regard.
More 'ARSE' from GQB ...
My parents were married at 20 / 22 respectively and had me within a year ..
I would not say they were from rich backgrounds / parentage: Docker / Printer on one side and Drapery shop owner on t'other ..
People are working later in the west, ( and East) as getting on the property ladder is generally harder and some ladies enjoy having a career.
It is said by many former Soviet folk I know that it is harder to have kids as the state doesn't provide a home as a right
Why DO you keep misleading folks ?
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My parents were married at 20 / 22 respectively and had me within a year ..
That's old for new parents in Ireland. Do you have an Irish twin - a sibling born within a year after your birth?
:D ;) :D ;D
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That's old for new parents in Ireland. Do you have an Irish twin - a sibling born within a year after your birth?
:D ;) :D ;D
Dolly the Sheep came much later and I still deny being the father !;)
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At least someone "gets it"
Let's see what I have to offer
Summer year round instead of snow and cold
Suburban living in an area that has culture and a decent European community
A 2 seat convertible car instead of dirty diapers
3 to 5 vacations a year with lots if adrenaline filled adventures in addition to weekend getaways
Business experience to assist with growing a business if she has an idea that she wants to develop
A loving partner who never has to choose his children's happiness over his wife's happiness
A husband who is exciting, easy on the eyes, who doesn't abuse her or substances
Access to the best medical care in the world overseen by a concierge physician that is available 24x7 via cell phone.
The ability to interact with children as she sees fit, donating her time to worthy causes but being able to say no at any time.
This isn't the life everyone chooses, but for some people it is a dream come true. This is the life I have chosen and the right woman is out there to share it with me if I look hard enough.
Competition:
Guy in southern France, Spain, Greece, Italy:
Summer year round,
Closer to home - she can visit family for a weekend if she wished,
True European community,
City apartment lifestyle, which she would prefer. Suburban life would be like living in the country - too boring.
Vacations just about anytime she wished - Paris, Rome, Amsterdam, Geneva, Prague, Athens, Ibiza, Santorini, etc.
A loving partner that can let her choose to have children or not.
A 25-30 yr old tall hottie has many options, close at hand.
Good luck in your search. I'm not knocking you - just pointing out the realities of what you're facing.
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A 25-30 yr old tall hottie has many options, close at hand.
Good luck in your search. I'm not knocking you - just pointing out the realities of what you're facing.
Steve, you speaketh the truth.
An American still can win. My stepdaughter, about 24 at the time and living with us in Tampa, was pursued by a Euro upper 30s-something in banking with three flats: Paris, Monte Carlo, and Miami - the only one she visited, a penthouse with staff. Plus he had his own private jet capable of crossing the Atlantic (she flew in it from Tampa to Miami). He wanted marriage, and even had his attorneys preparing a Marriage Contract (aka prenup). She dumped him for a younger guy here in Tampa without a prenup. They are doing well with a growing business they started.
Some of her dating experiences with Americans and Europeans shocked me, even prompting me one time to call the police.
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Competition:
Guy in southern France, Spain, Greece, Italy:
Summer year round,
Closer to home - she can visit family for a weekend if she wished,
True European community,
City apartment lifestyle, which she would prefer. Suburban life would be like living in the country - too boring.
Vacations just about anytime she wished - Paris, Rome, Amsterdam, Geneva, Prague, Athens, Ibiza, Santorini, etc.
A loving partner that can let her choose to have children or not.
A 25-30 yr old tall hottie has many options, close at hand.
Good luck in your search. I'm not knocking you - just pointing out the realities of what you're facing.
You forgot Southern Russia😁
I arrived in Moscow just after winter to snow and -1 temps and the last day I sat on the beach for 30 minutes and got sunburnt in beautiful 29c temperatures.
The other thing I saw were young attractive women in their mid to late 20’s looked to have no issues finding men. Everyday I saw very fit and handsome young men with stunning young women walking hand in hand together on the foreshore. I went to see a live band one night and our group was the oldest by 10 years. My eyes were wandering and to be honest, I didn’t see one woman who didn’t have a partner. Obviously single mothers and older women are a different story.... I think the Mob Industry overstates the ploy that young women can’t find genuine men and in my opinion the young men were more romantic and attentive than most western men. Young Russian fathers also deserve a pat on the back. Most days I saw shift workers out with their young children and babies without their wives.
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WARNING: Cold Hard truth below read at your peril. Seriously, I'm not kidding
below is the truth but it's not written in the fluffy rainbow participation trophy
kind of way that some people think is best.
What the OP wants is a unicorn. A 25 year old good girl FSUW who doesn't have
or want kids and won't want kids 10 years from now AND is interested in +40 year
old Western men AND knows English AND is hot and tall doesn't exist.
The OP is attracted to 25-30 year old hot and tall women? Virtually every hetero-
sexual man on Earth is attracted to them including every man in Russia, Ukraine,
Belarus or elsewhere in the FSU. The OP found some girls who say "Oh yes!
Mr Real BFE, I want to be your tasty little unicorn!" The good girls ignored your letter
because you were too old and didn't want kids or will once you've announced your
intentions. Those that remain will have less than pure motives.
You eliminate the good girls then you are left with girls who will harvest your
kidneys and happily ruin your life to advance themselves. This is the way to
find the mule seekers, the Greencard girls, gold diggers and the DV girls.
There isn't a prenup agreement that a lawyer can draw up that defines what
happens if a young gal has a man friend punch her several times in the face,
then calls the cops and say you did it.
What you want is a good girl. That's really the only thing that matters. Everything
else should be secondary to that. You have unrealistic expectations based on limited
experience. I didn't come here today with the plan of letting the air out of your sails.
I am giving you the truth based on my extensive experience hunting, dating and
pursuing FSU Women.
Having said that there are hot women good girls who are older and who will
be interested but not under 35 years old.
That's a great post Bill and I agree with everything. It's definitely true there's a world full of competition for an attractive 25 year old.
Bill if I may ask one question regarding the post. In the DV example you gave, couldn't a test be done to rule out the husband as the abuser? if you punch someone your knuckes would get scraped and you would have that person's skin cells on them also. or is it just a he said, she said scenario?
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That's a great post Bill and I agree with everything. It's definitely true there's a world full of competition for an attractive 25 year old.
Bill if I may ask one question regarding the post. In the DV example you gave, couldn't a test be done to rule out the husband as the abuser? if you punch someone your knuckes would get scraped and you would have that person's skin cells on them also. or is it just a he said, she said scenario?
In my country we call them intervention orders and her word is all that matters. The first time you know an order has been lodged, it’s already been to court and you find the police on your door reading the conditions imposed on you. We don’t get to put our side forward without hiring a lawyer and fighting it once it’s already on you. Most guys just accept the conditions of the order and if they have been a good boy it will be removed in 12 months. In the mean time often you lose access your house, can’t see your kids and are at the mercy of your Ex. Once they claim that you’ve breached the order with no hard evidence needed, you face 2 years jail.
I experienced this first hand because she broke her fingernail on my front door. It took 8 months in court and being arrested once to be exonerated..... and that was mainly because she entered my house (still in her name) with her off duty police officer cousin and tried to take our kids, which I had custody of. I was very lucky as it was proven that her cousin lodged the order which was against police procedures. It resulted in an internal police investigation. I was only one of two orders that were removed in my state out of several thousand intervention orders placed.
The whole system is skewed to favour women and often their divorce lawyers use it as a tool to gain custody and the matrimonial home. In Australia it’s estimated 50% of intervention orders are based on false or exaggerated claims.
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This thread certainly went off the rails. I should probably clarify a few things before moving on.
1. The conditions of the prenup I mentioned were to protect me from a family court judge in the event my wife decides to be unfaithful and get's pregnant in the process. Better to err on the safe side when things are rosy. The last thing I need is a judge looking at me as the bad guy for divorcing a pregnant wife. My vasectomy was done in a way to reduce the possibility of failure and is not reversible. My decision to not have children hasn't wavered since before puberty and won't ever change.
2. I never said I was looking for a woman 10 in looks. Frankly, I find most of them a little too high maintenance for me. I said I'm looking for someone tall and attractive. To me, that means above 5'6" and better looking than more than half of the people I would see in my day to day life. There's more to a woman than her outward appearance, but we do have to have basic attraction that will last long enough to build a strong bond. There has been talk about competition for high value women. I'm not seeking a FSU woman due to shortcomings of being able to compete locally. I simply find many attributes of FSU women more desirable than the average American woman. I prefer the facial structure, eye colors, body type and most importantly feminine viewpoint that is typically found in FSU women. It is about regional genetics and culture. Some guys go to Asia or South America for similar reasons.
3. Lastly and most importantly, I'm not looking to change anyone's mind in regards to having children, especially someone that I want to spend my life with. Although still a minority, there are plenty of people like me who don't want children for a variety of reasons. Trying to convince a life partner who wants children that life is better without them is as idiotic as trying to convince an Islamic leader to practice Christianity. If anyone has a halfway open mind, I suggest reading http://www.quora.com/Why-do-some-people-not-want-children-1 where you will find responses from men and women, some who even have children. I would be willing to bet that most people can't honestly say they did a pro and con analysis before having children. Nothing in my life is typical. That's my choice and my path. It isn't for everyone and I wouldn't impose my life choices on anyone, however I would love to share my life with someone of a similar mindset.
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This thread certainly went off the rails. I should probably clarify a few things before moving on.
1. The conditions of the prenup I mentioned were to protect me from a family court judge in the event my wife decides to be unfaithful and get's pregnant in the process. Better to err on the safe side when things are rosy. The last thing I need is a judge looking at me as the bad guy for divorcing a pregnant wife. My vasectomy was done in a way to reduce the possibility of failure and is not reversible. My decision to not have children hasn't wavered since before puberty and won't ever change.
Sounds like you’ve been cheated on before?
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So far so good ;) May be you could offer her something to upgrade her profession in FL?
RW might be interested in a husband of a good professional and social standing, I guess you could put that on the table as well.
Regarding your wish for a younger woman, if I may offer you any advice, do not lie about your age. From my own experience on dating sites, men who write " I am told I look ** years old' or 'Sorry my real age is **(+10 to his profile) due to mistype' just portray themselves despicable in woman's eyes. She will be the one who decides if she is interested or not. Not your explanations.
Instead, suggest that you select photos that demonstrate your healthy, sporty looks. If you have good muscular body, put a tasteful photo of your torso in a nice t-shirt. If you don't have that type of body - get one. If you do sports, post a photo of you competing, for example. If you have good skin, post a good face pic. You want a younger wife, the onus is on you to be adequate to your prospects!
All good advice, especially appreciate the female insight on the age issues. Thank you for your contributions.
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Sounds like you’ve been cheated on before?
Nope, but I know too many who have been. I was married for 20 years and it ended on good terms but I was very lucky. I would like to think my next marriage will last the rest of my life, but statistics are not in my favor and I might not be so lucky in the future. I simply prefer to limit my liabilities whenever possible. I run my life as a business and it has served me well thus far.
Before you ask, no my prior marriage ending had nothing to do with children. We were both very young when we married and later in life many of our values conflicted, but children wasn't one of them. She prefers the lifestyle of an average 45 year old in a small manufacturing town. My life is more typical of a 29 year old entrepreneur in a large city which is one of the reasons I seek someone younger.
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Had the snip.. put down in your profile..."do not want kids.."
Post your true age...
This is you first chance to sell yourself, so WHY do guys / lasses lie?
Might as well write, " you cannot trust me" ..
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RealBFE
You can find her in the FSU I have no doubt. Your search likely will be more difficult than most but, a 25-30 yr old woman often doesn't even know what she wants, yet. Women are hardwired to procreate much more so than men. What folks here are telling you is that, even if you do find the young woman without children that says she doesn't want children, the chances that she changes her mind as her biological clock starts ticking down increase exponentially. We've seen it numerous times on this very board.
If I'm understanding you correctly as I believe most here are, you want a young 25 yr old woman that fits your lifestyle. You are in your 40's. Something you seem to over look is, people change. You both will. If you find what you seek it will be with a near 20 year age difference and your clock will be ticking at a much faster pace than hers. In 10 years she'll be 35 with time running out and you'll be quickly approaching elderly status in her eyes. You'll be looking a lot differently to her then than she would now. Think about that
I would suggest you look for a woman you can fall in love with and have an equal 50/50 relationship without demands. Otherwise you are seriously setting yourself up for heartbreak
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RealBFE
You can find her in the FSU I have no doubt. Your search likely will be more difficult than most but, a 25-30 yr old woman often doesn't even know what she wants, yet. Women are hardwired to procreate much more so than men. What folks here are telling you is that, even if you do find the young woman without children that says she doesn't want children, the chances that she changes her mind as her biological clock starts ticking down increase exponentially. We've seen it numerous times on this very board.
If I'm understanding you correctly as I believe most here are, you want a young 25 yr old woman that fits your lifestyle. You are in your 40's. Something you seem to over look is, people change. You both will. If you find what you seek it will be with a near 20 year age difference and your clock will be ticking at a much faster pace than hers. In 10 years she'll be 35 with time running out and you'll be quickly approaching elderly status in her eyes. You'll be looking a lot differently to her then than she would now. Think about that
I would suggest you look for a woman you can fall in love with and have an equal 50/50 relationship without demands. Otherwise you are seriously setting yourself up for heartbreak
Not sure what would imply I don't want an equal relationship. One of the reasons I prefer tall women is I want them physically equal to me so I can look them straight in the eyes and not look down at them in a literal sense.
In my business life, I work in IT at an advanced level, dealing with businesses executives, accountants and physicians. Most of the people I work with are younger than me because I started working in high school when the internet was new and not cool. It provides for an above average income for a man in his 40s.
In my personal life, I am 42 years old according to my birth certificate, but I listen to EDM and popular music, don't go to bed before 1am, ride a Japanese sport motorcycle frequently well in excess of 100mph both on and off a racetrack, swim 2000 meters most days and take the stairs instead of elevator when I work in my office on the 9th floor in jeans, sneakers and an under armour shirt. Since I don't smoke, don't drink, don't have stress from my home life, eat well, exercise regularly and sleep on a very comfortable bed, I am able to keep a good complexion, thin waistline, full head of dark hair and healthy physique.
I am not looking for a trophy wife. I am seeking an equal who is able to keep up with me now, and hopefully we will age at a similar pace in the future. She doesn't need to be 25, I actually think 28 would be about ideal. I am not that picky with the number, but I haven't found anyone over 35 that fit what I was looking for and I have dated several women born in the 90s that seemed very compatible. As far as demands, I assume you're referring to kids. Once again, I seek someone on my level who doesn't feel the need to bow to social pressure of popping out children because everyone else does. As human beings, we have the ability to make decisions independent of primal instincts.
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Not sure what would imply I don't want an equal relationship. One of the reasons I prefer tall women is I want them physically equal to me so I can look them straight in the eyes and not look down at them in a literal sense.
In my business life, I work in IT at an advanced level, dealing with businesses executives, accountants and physicians. Most of the people I work with are younger than me because I started working in high school when the internet was new and not cool. It provides for an above average income for a man in his 40s.
In my personal life, I am 42 years old according to my birth certificate, but I listen to EDM and popular music, don't go to bed before 1am, ride a Japanese sport motorcycle frequently well in excess of 100mph both on and off a racetrack, swim 2000 meters most days and take the stairs instead of elevator when I work in my office on the 9th floor. Since I don't smoke, don't drink, don't have stress from my home life, eat well, exercise regularly and sleep on a very comfortable bed, I am able to keep a good complexion, thin waistline, full head of dark hair and healthy physique.
I am not looking for a trophy wife. I am seeking an equal who is able to keep up with me now, and hopefully we will age at the same pace in the future. As far as demands, I assume you're referring to kids. Once again, I seek someone on my level who doesn't feel the need to bow to social pressure of popping out children because everyone else does. As human beings, we have the ability to make decisions independent of primal instincts.
Your prerequisite of no children, not wanting any and her age considerably younger than yourself. I'm a firm believer that the heart wants what the heart wants. It's not a matter of a trophy wife. You're wanting a woman that fits your preconceived notion of your ideal wife. I get it. One that agrees with you on the child issue. I only caution you, you've severely limited yourself to finding such a woman and to not fool yourself into think that she won't change. She may, she may not.
You seek someone on your "level" yet 15-20 years younger than you. That's a pretty big gap in age. Do you really think that exist? You act and feel that much younger than you are. You even think you look it and you might. Makes nobody here any difference if you do. We all think we look and act 20 years younger. It's chic and it sounds cool but there's no denying mother nature whether you want to think so or not. As I said, you can find her and in the short term make her happy as a pig in shit. It's the long term you should be considering more closely FWIW
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RealBFE,
I wish you the best in your search for a FSUW life partner. Knowing exactly what you want helps your search, yet this venture takes time in finding her and especially in developing a loving relationship. There is no substitute for the time required.
With regard to children, I do not object to your personal choice. I grew up in a happy family home, my RW wife the same. She and I each have enjoyed some remarkable accomplishments in our lives, yet we agree that our greatest source of joy has been family. Good news for you - RW mentality is two people form a "family" (as well as 3, 4...).
BTW, I dated RW in the 35-40 age group who could run circles around 20 somethings. For example, one's favorite hobby was sport climbing. Don't ignore these women.
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Your prerequisite of no children, not wanting any and her age considerably younger than yourself. I'm a firm believer that the heart wants what the heart wants. It's not a matter of a trophy wife. You're wanting a woman that fits your preconceived notion of your ideal wife. I get it. One that agrees with you on the child issue. I only caution you, you've severely limited yourself to finding such a woman and to not fool yourself into think that she won't change. She may, she may not.
You seek someone on your "level" yet 15-20 years younger than you. That's a pretty big gap in age. Do you really think that exist? You act and feel that much younger than you are. You even think you look it and you might. Makes nobody here any difference if you do. We all think we look and act 20 years younger. It's chic and it sounds cool but there's no denying mother nature whether you want to think so or not. As I said, you can find her and in the short term make her happy as a pig in shit. It's the long term you should be considering more closely FWIW
I updated my previous reply just a bit before you replied. I agree 20 years is a bit much of an age gap. I would rather keep closer to 15. Thinking long term, she will always be 15 years younger. When I am 50, she'll be 35. I assume she'll have expectations of me just as I have of her. Nobody wants to be around boring old people. Frankly I find 40 year old people boring too.
When I was 22 I was most attracted to women in their mid 20s. When I was 30 I was most attracted to women in their mid 20s, now at 42, I am still most attracted to women in their mid 20s. Hopefully I will not be another guy in his 50s chasing 20 somethings. On the other hand if she's in her 40s, I don't imagine her keeping my attention span. I already had that issue once, so part of looking for someone younger IS my planning long term.
I know plenty of guys that look and act 20 years older and plenty that look and act 20 years younger. It isn't just mother nature. It has more to do with how you take care of yourself. Most people in their 30s adjust their lifestyle significantly from their 20s. Kids, work, life, whatever gets in the way. Exercise and being healthy keeps you young. Maybe it's genes. I don't know. My father was an ocean lifeguard and walked a 18 hole golf course several times a week for 40 years. At 60, he was in better shape than any 40 year old I knew. I plan to follow in his footsteps.
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RealBFE
What folks here are telling you is that, even if you do find the young woman without children that says she doesn't want children, the chances that she changes her mind as her biological clock starts ticking down increase exponentially. We've seen it numerous times on this very board.
Yes, this is the point I made in the first post in this thread.
It is the most critical point of all for RealBFE; and one he CANNOT control.
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. . . not fool yourself into think that she won't change. . . .
Again, the most critical point.
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Yes, this is the point I made in the first post in this thread.
It is the most critical point of all for RealBFE; and one he CANNOT control.
I can't control any person, but I can consider her reasons and enthusiasm for not wanting children. Some people don't care one way or another. Some people are extremely opposed to kids. The former are more likely to change their mind. Someone who can passionately list a bunch of reasons why they don't want them is much less likely to want to have them later if happily married to someone who also doesn't want them and can't have them.
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The last thing I need is a judge looking at me as the bad guy for divorcing a pregnant wife.
If she got pregnant by another man, I doubt a judge will be looking at you as the bad spouse. Florida is a no fault state. A judge is not suppose punish anybody for bad behavior except when it comes to misspending money. Florida is an equitable distribution state, and only property acquired during the course of the marriage is subject to division following divorce. Your properties and business in your name will be protected even without a prenup. If community money and wife's labor goes into building a property and business in your name, she may be entitled to a small percentage of it. A judge of course can use his/her discretion and turn it into a large percentage.
Talk to an attorney about the prenup and language you should use. If there's too many ugly scenarios listed in the prenup, it could scare away any good woman like it did Gator's step daughter. Most people want to enter a marriage trusting their partner 100%. A poorly worded prenup may tell a woman her man doesn't trust her.
To help yourself save time, in an intro letter to ladies, you should mention you can't have and don't want kids. Saying it in a profile is not enough. Not everybody reads profiles. You will have few ladies interested in you but those that do would be insincere or sincere and can accept not having kids. Judge the level of level of English the women have when they respond. Some may have not comprehended that you can't and don't want kids.
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When I was 22 I was most attracted to women in their mid 20s. When I was 30 I was most attracted to women in their mid 20s, now at 42, I am still most attracted to women in their mid 20s. Hopefully I will not be another guy in his 50s chasing 20 somethings. On the other hand if she's in her 40s, I don't imagine her keeping my attention span. I already had that issue once, so part of looking for someone younger IS my planning long term.
What attracts you is totally irrelevant. EVERYBODY is attracted to twenty five year old
women. 16 year old boys to 75 year old Mick Jagger are all attracted to them. Micks girl
was 26 when they got together (he was only 69). What's important is whether you can
attract a 25 year old Russian woman who is a good girl AND meets your other
restrictions and the answer is probably not.
I'm 13 years older than my wife. The age gap for you chasing a 30 year old is totally
doable. Your restrictions on procreation AND having no kids make it NOT doable. The
FSUW entire culture is about marriage, children and family, any theory that believes
they won't change their minds 5+ years later is a dream theory.
Biological clock ticking
http://youtu.be/Jp3TNAlllQc
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If she got pregnant by another man
If she get's preggers from another man and he immediately files for divorce they
won't make him pay for the other mans baby. If he raised the baby for 5-10 years
and then filed for divorce then they might. Having a prenup won't change that.
My advice is to buy a book from NOLO press about prenuptial or marriage
contracts and read about it.
Here are three articles, they overlap each other but they discuss the basics.
Prenuptial Agreements: Who Needs It and How Do I Make One?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreements-overview-29569.html
Prenuptial Agreements: What Does the Law Allow?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreements-what-law-allows-30283.html
Prenuptial Agreement Lawyers: Do You Need One?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreement-lawyers-30035.html
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What attracts you is totally irrelevant. EVERYBODY is attracted to twenty five year old
women. 16 year old boys to 75 year old Mick Jagger are all attracted to them. Micks girl
was 26 when they got together (he was only 69). What's important is whether you can
attract a 25 year old Russian woman who is a good girl AND meets your other
restrictions and the answer is probably not.
I'm 13 years older than my wife. The age gap for you chasing a 30 year old is totally
doable. Your restrictions on procreation AND having no kids make it NOT doable. The
FSUW entire culture is about marriage, children and family, any theory that believes
they won't change their minds 5+ years later is a dream theory.
Biological clock ticking
http://youtu.be/Jp3TNAlllQc
Luckily for me I have been doing things my whole life that people said they didn't think was possible. I actually built a successful business based on it, so I feel pretty good about my search :P
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If she get's preggers from another man and he immediately files for divorce they
won't make him pay for the other mans baby. If he raised the baby for 5-10 years
and then filed for divorce then they might. Having a prenup won't change that.
My advice is to buy a book from NOLO press about prenuptial or marriage
contracts and read about it.
Here are three articles, they overlap each other but they discuss the basics.
Prenuptial Agreements: Who Needs It and How Do I Make One?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreements-overview-29569.html
Prenuptial Agreements: What Does the Law Allow?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreements-what-law-allows-30283.html
Prenuptial Agreement Lawyers: Do You Need One?
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/prenuptial-agreement-lawyers-30035.html
I think enough effort has been spent on prenup discussions already. Plenty of time for that discussion later on between me and a competent divorce attorney, of which there are a few in South Florida.
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I stumbled across this site a couple of months ago, and have been reading as time permits. I was married for 20 years and after a few years of being single I am ready for a serious relationship again. I am in my early 40s with a comfortable income for my area and the ability to travel several weeks a year. I'm physically fit and quite active so most people assume I'm in my mid 30s. Most of my US dating experience has been on sugar dating type sites so I am used to age gap dating and being guarded about scams.
I'm looking for a tall, attractive FSU woman around 25-30 who doesn't have or want children. I seem to be getting a lot of attention from women I find attractive on Elenasmodels but they either have/want kids or don't speak English. I thought English was tought in schools for people in this age group.
Any suggestions of good dating sites to look into? For an English only speaker, would it make sense to take a trip and try meeting someone offline instead?
I can understand how you feel in the position you are because somewhere I am also an outsider for many reasons.
However the crownd you had been used to (FSU coming from sugar dating type sites) is any longuer the ones you would meet for a marriage.
You would avoid as possible the transactional girls they are and there are more FSU transactional girls than in the western countries due to the economical discrepancy (transactional girls exist also in the west).
So what i want to pinpoint is that it changes all the perspective as in the same time you want a really younger woman and no child of your own.
So to make it short and practical.
You should aim for women with two childs and check that she agrees from the scratch to not have a third one. You can reasonably find a younger woman of 30 or less.
Are you ready to welcome two young children, a whole family? Question ?
Your risks, therefore, will be minimum to end prematurely your marriage because of a possible problem of her wanting a child.
I absolutely respect your willingness to not have children, and the discussion is not about this
The last point, that has never been discussed in this topic (your), is your dating capacity since you have divorced.
As 2TallBill is using to say FSU women are not for entry level daters. So excuse me but the three FSU women you got from sugar dating sites (if you got them from there) have little rapport with the real dating life with FSU women first and in FSU secondly.
So I would worry more about this than the young and well off life that you can provide, just my two cents.
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You forgot Southern Russia😁
I arrived in Moscow just after winter to snow and -1 temps and the last day I sat on the beach for 30 minutes and got sunburnt in beautiful 29c temperatures.
The other thing I saw were young attractive women in their mid to late 20’s looked to have no issues finding men. Everyday I saw very fit and handsome young men with stunning young women walking hand in hand together on the foreshore. I went to see a live band one night and our group was the oldest by 10 years. My eyes were wandering and to be honest, I didn’t see one woman who didn’t have a partner. Obviously single mothers and older women are a different story.... I think the Mob Industry overstates the ploy that young women can’t find genuine men and in my opinion the young men were more romantic and attentive than most western men. Young Russian fathers also deserve a pat on the back. Most days I saw shift workers out with their young children and babies without their wives.
Is true, I saw the same thing in Kiev last year Davo, lots of young twenty something girl & boys out dating, sat on park benches, casual-smart dress sucking each others faces off and holding hands, etc. Off the single young girls I saw around none of them seemed to be out on the prowl for a guy.
In Odessa I saw plenty of Ukrainian guys built like a sh*t house door, they were huge, massive muscles bulging everywhere.
In both cases I (in my early 40s) like BFE would likely look an odd prospect for such girls, an early middle age guy of regular build, regular build, 6ft still with a good crop of brown hair but out of age group with some small wrinkles around my eyes, etc denoting such age.
Some guys no doubt look more decrepit than me at my age. I known some guys who's hair has started greying significantly in their mid to late twenties. It no doubt was likely an issue for them but it doesn't mean I am in the frame for a 25 or so year old girl. Even if I were 25 ish I would have to work out significantly and good money wise etc.
I get that you are in good maybe even great shape for your age BFE but a guy in his forties is a guy in his forties nonetheless at the end of the day, he will never be the equivalent of a guy in his twenties.
For me having kids if I do would likely have to be in the next few years as to be fair on the kid it needs to be around at least mid teens by or before I hit my sixties - if I get there. The thing is that most people think they are going to go on forever more, I sincerely wouldn't want to. You can add a few more years to your life and health but generally a person in their 60s is aging but mostly ok, usually, in their 70s old and likely suffering some health problems, a fair few pass on, in their 80s very old and likely health problems, many passing on and in their 90s decrepit with likely bad health problems and waiting at deaths door if not before. Even if you are in much better than average shape at this age you are still going to be seen as an 'old person' and not realistically having the same lifestyle as a 25 year old.
If there are no kids are there anyone who cares about you at that age? Other family members may have passed on who lived a less healthy life. Would younger women seriously be interested in guys that age? Would the girl you get in her twenties drop you 10-15 years down the line as she prefers a younger model?
Can be sobering even depressing stuff to think of but reality is reality.
I don't think having children comes without bother, sometimes much bother. Honestly I don't think there is an easy answer to the 'have children or not' dilemma. Either has its issues, for you though I would look at girls in their thirties as a more preferable age group, as they age they wouldn't be so far behind you that they would want to ditch you with you having an uncertain future finding someone else.
I would say that myself by my forties I have done most of the doing stuff that I want to do. I don't see much point revisiting the same stuff type of stuff again. After a while it all starts to get a bit samey and repetitive, already been to that sort of place before, already done similar sort of thing before, got the t-shirt. So the 40s & 50s isn't necessarily a bad time to enjoy bringing up children if this came up I feel but only if content with this option.
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More Trench wasting e-ink with bollox 'theories'
You haven't been living the dream with a FSU lady Trench - so much for the "I have done most of the doing stuff that I want to do." ...
YOU fail in your endeavours in Kyiv, etc., because you go without a plan and 'expect' lasses to see your UK passport and run to you ;)
BTW..
A lot of guys put UK in their dating profiles - or dating sites put 'UK' for British guys and SC told me that she had been ignoring guys from Ukraine ;)
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Interesting thread
1) I looked up FL law. While the woman's husband will always be listed as the father on the Birth Cert, there are lots of legal ways to remove your responsibility should that be another mans child. LOL- does sound like a neat trick to get a girl to sign a pre nup
2) If you actually don't want kids, get a vasectomy
3) Don't lie about your age, a horrible way to start a relationship
4) I totally agree in looking sub 30. I put a pencil and paper to it, over 35 _(maybe 40 for others), it aint worth it
My 2 cents- The reason I went to the FSU 28 years ago, was to find a woman that would be a good mother for my kids. At the time, finding beautiful women in the States wasn't an issue, but they either didn't want to settle for FT motherhood or they were just wouldn't be good mothers. My GF before I decided I needed to got to Russia, was a Bud Girl. At least she cleaned, but no way would I have kids with her. In the Urals I found spectacular beautiful women that wanted to cook, clean , sew and raise children. I was in such awe
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Reducing, or signing away child support cannot be accomplished via a prenuptial agreement. Such an agreement would be unenforceable.
This post was composed without the aid of google.