Russian Women Discussion
RWD Discussion Groups => Experienced => Topic started by: Trenchcoat on May 28, 2016, 03:10:52 AM
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So just interested in people's thoughts that have tried this route, did it work out? turn up much? and how did you go about interviewing the girls?
My thoughts so far on this front is either do all the interviewing on one day and meet girl or girls thereafter or meet a couple a day, perhaps one morning/afternoon the other evening. Of course depending on the girls availability maybe it might be quite sporadic which could work out fine also I'm thinking.
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The word "interview " sounds strange . I would suggest you talk on skype as much as possible with a few of your best choice , narrow it down and then go and visit the one you feel is the right one - no point in traveling that far to blind date or find out important ideals don't match.. Basically i think men should have done all the ground work first .. Just my 2 cents
( from my memory ) "Most " of the stories of men traveling to meet many women - seem to end ,back at the start . while most guys that went to meet the one , had more success .
Just my thoughts... :)
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The word "interview " sounds strange . I would suggest you talk on skype as much as possible with a few of your best choice , narrow it down and then go and visit the one you feel is the right one - no point in traveling that far to blind date or find out important ideals don't match.. Basically i think men should have done all the ground work first .. Just my 2 cents
( from my memory ) "Most " of the stories of men traveling to meet many women - seem to end ,back at the start . while most guys that went to meet the one , had more success .
Just my thoughts... :)
Idk I tried the visit one approach and ended back at the start. As I was reminded by the guys on here in the hotel room in Kiev going to meet one is a risky approach and back ups aren't easy last minute. So I would be loathed to make the same mistake again. Skype is ok but by that stage the girl will expect you to just see her. Thing with Skype it can be time consuming to set up and keep the 'appojntment' Plus you need to get the girl to sit near the screen to see if there might be much chemistry. Possibly also it could be faked for a short while. In person if is much harder to do so, that and if the girl knows that in the initial instance there is not much on offer than a free meal/drink than hopefully only the serious ones will go for it.
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Trench, have you read the basic primer on this?
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0
There are many ways to proceed with the WMVM approach.
Read there to see my method of doing this up to the point of arriving in a single FSU city.
After arrival for a 4 week or so visit:
1) call the 3 or so gals that are first on your lists that you have already scheduled dates with in the above procedure. This is to touch base and assure them you are really there. Later you call the other gals on your list 3 days or so before their scheduled time.
2) I had business meetings most mornings; so I scheduled mid-afternoon restaurant meetings with the gals at around 2-3 PM. This had advantage of virtually empty restaurants and absence of smokers.
3) I had told the gals to free up time for this [ I had already insisted that the gals take an afternoon off from work. Those who only wanted to meet after work and weekends were dropped in the earlier email exchange process] and for the entire evening as we could have some fruits and wines later. I never said it would be the entire evening or night or anything about a sleepover, etc. They could read it anyway they wanted.
4) Depending on how the meal meeting went:
a) I would thank them for meeting with me and wish them well; or
b) We would go for a walk in the city parks, etc.
5) We would talk about a future meeting and I would put them in a taxi; or
6) We would go to my apartment for the fruits, wine, look at my pictures, listen to music, maybe sing some karaoke, maybe dance, maybe do some light making out, which may or may not lead to heavier stuff.
7) We would call a taxi for her; or
8) She would stay the night. I never pushed this.
9) Continue this procedure for 10-15 days with new gals.
10) Because some dates would end after the first afternoon meal and others would end after a walk in the park; this left empty time starting at day 3 or so for late afternoons, evenings and nights. This would allow for phone and SMS calls to previous gals who you want to meet for 2nd, 3rd, etc. times.
11) The gals that you started meeting multiple times, you start talking with them about future days that you can spend consecutively with them which implies sleepovers.
12) By the time you have met with all 10-15 gals, you are probably down to 3-6 who you end up spending a lot of time with the last two weeks or so of your trip.
Yes, of course a person can't do the above if he lacks:
a) A strong personality and leadership skills.
b) Analytical ability.
c) Ability to perform complex scheduling and coordination tasks.
d) A good memory and recall of facts, people, faces, names, places, etc.
e) Confidence in yourself.
f) Ability to tell a lot of jokes and have great humor in general.
g) Comfort around women in general.
h) Social skills in general.
i) Good written and oral (both type) skills
j) Ability to talk about most anything with most anybody.
k) Ability to avoid meeting with women lacking English skills.
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My plan was to write thousands of women and single it down to one to visit. There has to be things in common, similar goals and quality communication over the phone before I decide to visit a woman. She would get all my attention unless she or I decided that we weren't compatible.
When a lady and I part ways, I would go back and contact other women I communicated with previously and tell them I'm in their city and would like to meet. I would contact women on Mamba I've never communicated with I'm in their city and would like to meet. I wouldn't sit in the apartment and on the computer all day. When I'm walking around or in a café, I'd introduce myself to ladies and start a conversation. It's easy to get 3 phone numbers a day. There's no reason for a foreign guy not to get dates when he's in the FSU. Don't need an agency for this.
Some guys panic when a lady asks him why he's in the FSU. I tell them I came looking for love and didn't find it so I'm open to meeting new people. Give them an answer you're here for business, they'll assume you're a sex tourist.
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Trench
The method that is best for one guy isn't necessarily going to work for you.
I am not a shy guy, but my experience of meeting several women from one city approach was not an experience I would recommend to most guys
Dedicating time slots, over-running, taking/ missing calls from 'prospects' and finding myself comparing did my head in.
I'm a write a few, decide who is the person you look most forward to hearing from - and dedicate time to her, guy.
You come across as a guy who would not be a WMVM candidate :D
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Trench, have you read the basic primer on this?
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0
There are many ways to proceed with the WMVM approach.
Read there to see my method of doing this up to the point of arriving in a single FSU city.
After arrival for a 4 week or so visit:
1) call the 3 or so gals that are first on your lists that you have already scheduled dates with in the above procedure. This is to touch base and assure them you are really there. Later you call the other gals on your list 3 days or so before their scheduled time.
2) I had business meetings most mornings; so I scheduled mid-afternoon restaurant meetings with the gals at around 2-3 PM. This had advantage of virtually empty restaurants and absence of smokers.
3) I had told the gals to free up time for this [ I had already insisted that the gals take an afternoon off from work. Those who only wanted to meet after work and weekends were dropped in the earlier email exchange process] and for the entire evening as we could have some fruits and wines later. I never said it would be the entire evening or night or anything about a sleepover, etc. They could read it anyway they wanted.
4) Depending on how the meal meeting went:
a) I would thank them for meeting with me and wish them well; or
b) We would go for a walk in the city parks, etc.
5) We would talk about a future meeting and I would put them in a taxi; or
6) We would go to my apartment for the fruits, wine, look at my pictures, listen to music, maybe sing some karaoke, maybe dance, maybe do some light making out, which may or may not lead to heavier stuff.
7) We would call a taxi for her; or
8) She would stay the night. I never pushed this.
9) Continue this procedure for 10-15 days with new gals.
10) Because some dates would end after the first afternoon meal and others would end after a walk in the park; this left empty time starting at day 3 or so for late afternoons, evenings and nights. This would allow for phone and SMS calls to previous gals who you want to meet for 2nd, 3rd, etc. times.
11) The gals that you started meeting multiple times, you start talking with them about future days that you can spend consecutively with them which implies sleepovers.
12) By the time you have met with all 10-15 gals, you are probably down to 3-6 who you end up spending a lot of time with the last two weeks or so of your trip.
Yes, of course a person can't do the above if he lacks:
a) A strong personality and leadership skills.
b) Analytical ability.
c) Ability to perform complex scheduling and coordination tasks.
d) A good memory and recall of facts, people, faces, names, places, etc.
e) Confidence in yourself.
f) Ability to tell a lot of jokes and have great humor in general.
g) Comfort around women in general.
h) Social skills in general.
i) Good written and oral (both type) skills
j) Ability to talk about most anything with most anybody.
k) Ability to avoid meeting with women lacking English skills.
Thanks ML that is indeed very helpful info, just what I was after and no doubt would be useful to others on here. Going this route certainly seems interesting to me and I think opens up a world of choice. The just after midday meeting makes sense and should work well I think as allows the morning to get refreshed and do any small tasks beforehand. Plus I think it was noted elsewhere on here in the past few months that if you go out with a girl in the evening or weekend she is not giving up anything so is not necessarily fussed, i.e free evening out, just something to do, etc. So was the wmvm route how you met your wife?
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Trench
The method that is best for one guy isn't necessarily going to work for you.
I am not a shy guy, but my experience of meeting several women from one city approach was not an experience I would recommend to most guys
Dedicating time slots, over-running, taking/ missing calls from 'prospects' and finding myself comparing did my head in.
I'm a write a few, decide who is the person you look most forward to hearing from - and dedicate time to her, guy.
You come across as a guy who would not be a WMVM candidate :D
over running? Surely you didn't schedule them back to back, lol. I would have thought comparing would be easy, a joy almost, after all normally would be apparent who came across better, more chemistry, etc and thereis always the next one till you've exhausted them all of course. Though in truth I guess you never really know till your there/done this approach. I thinking it's quite appealing to me at the moment though.
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over running? Surely you didn't schedule them back to back, lol.
Time,when in the company of someone you've wanted to meet and you click - can be cruelly brief ;)
I would have thought comparing would be easy, a joy almost, after all normally would be apparent who came across better, more chemistry, etc and thereis always the next one till you've exhausted them all of course. Though in truth I guess you never really know till your there/done this approach. I thinking it's quite appealing to me at the moment though.
Try it.. I'm certain it 's not the preferred option for you... These ladies aren't daft... if they feel you'll just lining up candidates you'll never meet or never see them again.
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It might not be everyone's cup of tea but it's the most effective use of time and money.You could end up wasting thousands and days/weeks worth of annual leave. I'd say planning on visiting one only really works if you have cash to burn, short flights and lots of time off work and if you're a gambling man. It's too much of a gamble if she doesn't show up or if it doesn't work out in person. She also might only meet you for an hour when you thought she would spend the whole 1-3 weeks with you, what will you do with your time then? Yes there is always the touristy stuff as backup but that's not why you're there.
If she's in the scene for long enough then it's expected that you might be visiting others. Just don't call attention to it by mentioning it in any way. Just say you're busy or visiting a friend (which wouldn't be false) if she wants to arrange something that will cause a schedule conflict.
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It might not be everyone's cup of tea but it's the most effective use of time and money.You could end up wasting thousands and days/weeks worth of annual leave. I'd say planning on visiting one only really works if you have cash to burn, short flights and lots of time off work and if you're a gambling man. It's too much of a gamble if she doesn't show up or if it doesn't work out in person. She also might only meet you for an hour when you thought she would spend the whole 1-3 weeks with you, what will you do with your time then? Yes there is always the touristy stuff as backup but that's not why you're there.
If she's in the scene for long enough then it's expected that you might be visiting others. Just don't call attention to it by mentioning it in any way. Just say you're busy or visiting a friend (which wouldn't be false) if she wants to arrange something that will cause a schedule conflict.
Exactly, my thoughts exactly and I guess very much my thoughts when doing the visit one in the hotel in Kiev before she arrived, i.e if she didn't arrive then money & trip wasted & stuck somewhere for a few days that is not as full on touristy as many European cities. So it's a big risk and one that can leave you with egg your face if things go south rapidly. This is much more apparent when in this situation even if it doesn't go bad which at the time fortunately it didn't. Last time at least I enjoyed it and seemed to get on with the girl at least, next time I might get stuck with someone who is different when there.
Even though the UK is a relatively short journey to the Ukraine/Russia and cost not too bad its going to add up making many journeys to see one girl at a time. I don't think many FSU girls appreciate this so it's easy for them to say hop on a plane. I can afford to make several trips but I need a reason to do so - a relationship where there is something really happening.
So for me at this stage while the girl might not be enamored with this approach (I will be diplomatic of course) it's the attraction that for me shows if there is much go in a relationship all else about girls hang up's don't count nearly as much I think. After all if your both more or less strangers then no one can expect any commitment at that stage anyway I think.
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Time,when in the company of someone you've wanted to meet and you click - can be cruelly brief ;)
Try it.. I'm certain it 's not the preferred option for you... These ladies aren't daft... if they feel you'll just lining up candidates you'll never meet or never see them again.
Sure, but if you click then worth going back on at least another trip to see her to seal the deal ;) After all we all know you can't expect to do it in one trip. If there's attraction there then you've pretty much got it sorted. I don't feel ladies should be put out by this approach that would be like saying you got your back up as an employer invited other candidates to interview. Unless you have Skype with her neither of you know if you'll be a match until you meet so makes sense to both of you to do it this way. Second interview meeting others then of course employment or dating it's not exactly a pleasant vibe.
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Not many that I know want to write manny or visit manny.
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Not many that I know want to write manny or visit manny.
After a full night's sleep . . . that's all you got ???
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It's too much of a gamble if she doesn't show up or if it doesn't work out in person.
Going through life relying on chance and luck isn't smart. Whether a guy is visiting one or many, he can try to build a friendship with lots of communication with the lady(s) before visiting. If a lady is willing to invest her time communicating with a guy, she is more likely to invest time when he visits since she will already have decided he's more of a friend than a stranger.
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I've tried many different strategies of finding the right girl. There is no one way
to be successful. You gotta do what you think works best with your personality
and situation and never discount dumb luck and being in the right place at the
right time. Obviously that shouldn't be your strategy, but If it happens to you,
run with it.
I went to meet a girl on a visit one strategy, and I met my now wife with my
backup plan, which was to ask girls to meet me at a cafe for coffee or tea or
cake when I wanted to sweeten the deal.
NOTE: the following is my opinion and others will disagree
In my opinion if you are going to meet one then go meet her but have a backup plan.
If you are going to meet many then don't use meet one tactics. You don't want to talk
to six girls every day for two months with a plan to meet all six of them. That in my
opinion will blow up in your face.
In my opinion to meet many, you should write them as few letters as possible.
I have always written one letter and two or three at the very most asking them
if they want to have tea with me.
Then when I meet them I don't interview them. I have a conversation about whatever
topic(s) pop into my head or theirs. This first meeting I measure mutual chemistry and
attraction keeping my eyes and ears open. 80-90% of the time I decide there isn't the
right vibe, chemistry, connection or whatever so I never ask them out again no matter
how hot they are*
I keep doing this lather, rinse and repeat until one girl appears head and shoulders
above the rest. Then I try to spend the rest of my time with this girl to see if we have
a future.
* If you can't say no to a hot FSUW then you are going to struggle at this.
I know your natural inclination is to pursue the hottest one. You need to remind
yourself, what is your goal? if it's to bang hot girls then ignore my advice. If your
goal is to find an excellent fsu wife and live happily ever after then you need to
understand that there are plenty of hot fsuw, so find one that you make a connection
with and one that you share mutual chemistry.
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The just after midday meeting makes sense and should work well I think as allows the morning to get refreshed and do any small tasks beforehand. Plus I think it was noted elsewhere on here in the past few months that if you go out with a girl in the evening or weekend she is not giving up anything so is not necessarily fussed, i.e free evening out, just something to do, etc. So was the wmvm route how you met your wife?
So because you are willingly travelling from afar, a woman in a country with a 10% unemployment rate, and an average monthly wage of US$195 should give up part of her work day for the privilege of meeting with you? :puke: :puke:
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If you can't say no to a hot FSUW then you are going to struggle at this.
I know your natural inclination is to pursue the hottest one. You need to remind
yourself, what is your goal? if it's to bang hot girls then ignore my advice.
If i wanted fish and chips i wouldn't travel all the way to fsu for it. I would go down the corner shop.
On a serious note, i said no to hot women, and i regret it big time.
So because you are willingly travelling from afar, a woman in a country with a 10% unemployment rate, and an average monthly wage of US$195 should give up part of her work day for the privilege of meeting with you? :puke: :puke:
I was going to tell the guy the same thing. he needs to be such a great guy for a woman willing to compete herself against others to win his attention. I would love to see how this plays out.
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On a serious note, i said no to hot women, and i regret it big time.
If you make a mistake you gotta learn from it, but you also have to move on.
There was a beautiful girl from Dnepropetrovsk that I dated and it didn't work
out. It sucked but we both moved on and now both of us are happily married
to different people.
Learn, move on, don't make the same mistake, make a different one.
Udachi!
Bill
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* If you can't say no to a hot FSUW then you are going to struggle at this.
Unfortunately MOST men especially newbies are still looking for hot, beautiful FSUW !!!
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I've tried many different strategies of finding the right girl. There is no one way
to be successful. You gotta do what you think works best with your personality
and situation and never discount dumb luck and being in the right place at the
right time. Obviously that shouldn't be your strategy, but If it happens to you,
run with it.
I went to meet a girl on a visit one strategy, and I met my now wife with my
backup plan, which was to ask girls to meet me at a cafe for coffee or tea or
cake when I wanted to sweeten the deal.
NOTE: the following is my opinion and others will disagree
In my opinion if you are going to meet one then go meet her but have a backup plan.
If you are going to meet many then don't use meet one tactics. You don't want to talk
to six girls every day for two months with a plan to meet all six of them. That in my
opinion will blow up in your face.
In my opinion to meet many, you should write them as few letters as possible.
I have always written one letter and two or three at the very most asking them
if they want to have tea with me.
Then when I meet them I don't interview them. I have a conversation about whatever
topic(s) pop into my head or theirs. This first meeting I measure mutual chemistry and
attraction keeping my eyes and ears open. 80-90% of the time I decide there isn't the
right vibe, chemistry, connection or whatever so I never ask them out again no matter
how hot they are*
I keep doing this lather, rinse and repeat until one girl appears head and shoulders
above the rest. Then I try to spend the rest of my time with this girl to see if we have
a future.
* If you can't say no to a hot FSUW then you are going to struggle at this.
I know your natural inclination is to pursue the hottest one. You need to remind
yourself, what is your goal? if it's to bang hot girls then ignore my advice. If your
goal is to find an excellent fsu wife and live happily ever after then you need to
understand that there are plenty of hot fsuw, so find one that you make a connection
with and one that you share mutual chemistry.
Appreciate the advice, BillyB also, it all helps. This example 2tallbill also goes to show that you can get a wife without her being a visit one. Like I say if a girl is into you and vice versa that should be all that matters at the end of the day unless of course guy or girl has done something that's an obvious no no.
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If i wanted fish and chips i wouldn't travel all the way to fsu for it. I would go down the corner shop.
On a serious note, i said no to hot women, and i regret it big time.
I was going to tell the guy the same thing. he needs to be such a great guy for a woman willing to compete herself against others to win his attention. I would love to see how this plays out.
Depending on the girl, her circumstance and how many others are up I could always compensate her for her time off when we meet in severe circumstance as a tenner would no doubt cover it. That or meet in the evening, again I would do th I for all it would be to ask to meet just after lunch - so that would give her the option of just going for a late lunch rather than the whole afternoon of if a problem. The main point ML puts across though is sound I think, ask for an afternoon first then judge her response from that. After all the main point of her being on a dating site is for a committed relationship. If she is not willing to make a small sacrifice/discuss a compromise in the search for her man then is she really seriously interested in a committed relationship or something else.
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Unfortunately MOST men especially newbies are still looking for hot, beautiful FSUW !!!
I know in theory when you look on the dating sites and you see the chubbier girl, the more mature woman or the not so attractive looking women I tend to thinm that they are more likely to be the more serious ones (though I guess anyone could be a scammer but usually the more prettier ones). That said though you really need a girl that is going to turn you on otherwise are you really naturally into her. Personality is great but you can get personality from a friend it doesnt make a lover to my mind. A girl wouldn't necessarily have to be real attractive looking (many FSW are) as they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder so you would however have to feel attraction to her/chemistry. Hot attractive women are nice looking but for me I wouldn't necessarily be totally hung up on it as long as she was a companion you could be into and get along vice versa. Though I think it makes sense to go for pics of women that look like they might do it for you (not necessarily the prettiest) as I think it's more likely to play out in reality that they have chemistry for you than a consider anyoneapproach.
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Depending on the girl, her circumstance and how many others are up I could always compensate her for her time off when we meet in severe circumstance as a tenner would no doubt cover it. That or meet in the evening, again I would do th I for all it would be to ask to meet just after lunch - so that would give her the option of just going for a late lunch rather than the whole afternoon of if a problem. The main point ML puts across though is sound I think, ask for an afternoon first then judge her response from that. After all the main point of her being on a dating site is for a committed relationship. If she is not willing to make a small sacrifice/discuss a compromise in the search for her man then is she really seriously interested in a committed relationship or something else.
A woman with self respect wouldn't need to compete against others for your affection unless you are bloody handsome and rich. There are plenty of guys for them to pick, why you? Lets be honest, why are you so special? Your amazing personality? You lost that once you made them compete against each other, and visit many approach. The way Billy described his method slightly changed, fits more into my approach
-write to the women you actually like, rather than spam
-have contacts with many
-narrow to 5 women
-visit one
-if you dont like, move on to the next
You don't know a woman truly after a first date, you need to spend a lot of time with her before you begin to fully understand her. Are you going to do this for all the women you meet? You are hurt over your last girl, and it is making you feel illogical, we all been there, you are going to ruin a good opportunity for yourself. let her go, not all women you meet are like her.
Edit
Your success prior wasn't that great, you are just going to make it harder for yourself.
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A woman with self respect wouldn't need to compete against others for your affection unless you are bloody handsome and rich. There are plenty of guys for them to pick, why you? Lets be honest, why are you so special? Your amazing personality? You lost that once you made them compete against each other, and visit many approach. The way Billy described his method slightly changed, fits more into my approach
-write to the women you actually like, rather than spam
-have contacts with many
-narrow to 5 women
-visit one
-if you dont like, move on to the next
You don't know a woman truly after a first date, you need to spend a lot of time with her before you begin to fully understand her. Are you going to do this for all the women you meet? You are hurt over your last girl, and it is making you feel illogical, we all been there, you are going to ruin a good opportunity for yourself. let her go, not all women you meet are like her.
Edit
Your success prior wasn't that great, you are just going to make it harder for yourself.
Why me? because apparently they want a western guy that's why they signed up to a foreign dating site, well hopefully. By signing up to a foreign dating site they are already competing with other women, even if a guy wrote to just one woman (not advisable) chances are he would have at least looked at other women's pictures with interest if not their whole profile. To be honest though once meeting them I would imagine there is not likely to be much real competition, it would be a case of there's chemistry there or there is not so choice made for you in a way. The girl might feel there are other contenders of course if she thought that the short meet may be part of meeting many, but as I have seen from my case ruling out the competition to early with a girl can be a bad move, just throwing your cards away.
I see your thinking of an approach that cuts between the visit one & visit many. I thinks it's possible but not easy. Many girls will only correspond with you so long (including skype) before expecting you to visit. After a certain time they will write you off as a keyboard Romeo and move on. Other men will come up more willing to make the journey. So your going to have to time it almost to precision which will not be easy, it can be time consuming enough with a day job writing to the one on a continuous basis never mind 5. As you may have found by now leaving a girl without messaging more than a week and that contact will go cold most likely. Also remember that you will have to make a separate journey for each back up girl unless she happens to be in the same city and get time off. I'm not sure but I think Billy threw up his one by chance after being let down by original girl - I don't think it was part of his plan.
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There is no 'right' or 'wrong' way, there is only the way that works for both you and the lady in question.
Some girls are happy enough with guys who serial date, and those girls will serial date also. There are others who will 'preselect' their best possible suitor then commit an awful lot of time to them with an expectation to make it work. The former girls don't care if you wrote 1 letter or 30, they are the sort who are happy to let the PPL sites do all the work and just show up for dates with guys who arrive to see if they are interesting or not. The other type will want a lot of communication to understand you, want long Skype communication, phone calls etc. They are most likely to have their minds made up to 90 percent reserving final decision when you arrive to check you don't smell or have any weird habits. Those girls are the ones who will meet you at the airport, have you stay at their apartment, put out early and spend all their time with you when they are not working. The idea of 'chemistry' is a western concept - the really serious girls want to know your soul and have very poor opinion of girls who marry for love alone - they will marry a guy they don't love based on his good character under the belief they will find something to love about him, but they won't be with a bad character because they love him. That's reality excluding the economic migrants and GCG's.
I've met both types and girls in the middle. The first type are the sort who don't care how far you travelled. They'll meet you for 30 minutes when it suits them and if they don't like you never see you again. The second type usually considers the time she invested in you makes you hers, and meeting other women is a sign you are not serious and an act of betrayal. If you do it she'll drop you like a hot coal.
These girls aren't desperate, they aren't looking for a western guy, they are looking for mr right. DK is right - going with the expectation you can pick and choose at will is a losers charter. You need to understand your woman's attitudes and cut your cloth accordingly.
I think DK's approach is smart (in my opinion), one date is nowhere enough to see the full picture, if you dismiss early on shallow metrics you'll probably lose your ideal match. Once they best behaviour is over it is the reality that needs to hold you together, the more time you invest the faster you get to see the real person behind the facade.
You can go either way, but 'pretty doll shopping' can be a disaster for guys who don't have self control and become a dangerous ego-feeding addiction.
i guess this is difference between US and UK mentality, In the US casual dating is the norm, in the UK if you carry on with more than one girl at a time you are considered a player and usually end up with nobody.
As I said - make a judgement call on the girl and her attitudes - I know for a fact my o/h would dismiss instantly any guy doing the wmvm, she's a type 2 - if she invests time in you she is serious and expects it reciprocated. She wants the security of time to develop her feelings without competition. She's a damn good catch and knows her worth so there is no way she has to tolerate a guy who thinks he gets to choose. My ex was a type 1, she'd date anyone but put zero effort in. If it wasn't what she wanted she'd move onto the next.
The beauty of it is there is someone for everyone - there are girls who are perfect for wovo, and girls who suit wmvm, so pay your money and take your choice.
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Why me? because apparently they want a western guy that's why they signed up to a foreign dating site
There are plenty of western guys on that site, some earning $150k+ a year at under 30 years old, sending pics of themselves in boats and cars, know how to make a woman feel special and unique. What is your plan? Throw £10 at them? Sorry if this sounds harsh, but i am just being realistic with you. These guys even scare the shit out of me.
Many girls will only correspond with you so long (including skype) before expecting you to visit. After a certain time they will write you off as a keyboard Romeo and move on. Other men will come up more willing to make the journey.
I been talking to this woman for a bit (see the attachments), and tried my best to tell her i want space, she is still persistent over me. Why? because i made her feel special and unique, learn that and you mastered how to get to a womans heart.
When i meet an amazing woman i will be there within a week or 2, make her feel lucky to have me in her life, and i will have the same feelings about her, because of my resilience of waiting for someone like her paid off.
you will have to make a separate journey for each back up girl unless she happens to be in the same city and get time off.
Great thing is that if you make her feel special, she will come to you.i done it to over a 100 women. Never had a problem, if they are interested in you, they will come to you. Work on yourself and you will be able to do the same, you can sit back in moscow/st petersburg and just wait for them to come to you.
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if you dismiss early on shallow metrics you'll probably lose your ideal match
I nearly made the same mistake with my ex, i actually put her on the list as my backups, luckily she persisted, i got talking to her, and she became my number one girl.
Trench you might benefit from this, i have chatted to a few girls, and the best ones i came across are the ones who are in the top 5% financially in russia (around £75k+ networth). They expect nothing much from you, just a decent income, they are not desperate for a guy they have no attraction over to be sweating all over them. They can skip out candidates easily, there are plenty of rich russians (in their 40's) my ex at the time offered to give me one of her huskies puppies for free, rare breed worth £500 in russia, a lot more in UK, it had one green and blue eye. She knew i loved to get a husky, and wanted an excuse for me to remain in russia with her. I was the problem not her, she was perfect, strong views about raising kids, but would of made a great loyal wife and caring (and very strict) mother. I was talking to a russian friend about this, and she recommended i look for women that are not financially desperate, looking back at the women i got along with, it was mostly women like this, maybe something you should keep in mind on your pursit. At the end of the day, this is a discussion forum, if you don't want to listen, that is your choice, i am sure you will do fine. we all fall over, make mistakes, a lot of the guys on here have stories a lot worse than you, but didn't let their first failure rule their future successes.
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She knew i loved to get a husky, and wanted an excuse for me to remain in russia with her.
I knew a guy who joined Air Force and spent a year or more somewhere far up in Alaska.
He was skinny when he left . . . but he came back a husky focker.
= = = = = =
Yes, yes . . . I know; but my gal is gone.
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""The idea of 'chemistry' is a western concept - the really serious girls want to know your soul and have very poor opinion of girls who marry for love alone - they will marry a guy they don't love based on his good character under the belief they will find something to love about him, but they won't be with a bad character because they love him. That's reality excluding the economic migrants and GCG's."" Huh, I learned something I did not know about FSWomen. Although, of the FSU girls I have talked with at great length, we always mutually agree about the importance of good chemistry, and that without it the relationship does not exist. I guess I have been talking to a bunch of weirdo FSU girls who mistakenly actually do believe in the importance of chemistry and have been brainwashed by Western values.
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""The idea of 'chemistry' is a western concept - the really serious girls want to know your soul and have very poor opinion of girls who marry for love alone
Chemistry = mutual attraction
If you don't have mutual attraction then it doesn't matter if you both like Kurt
Vonnegut, salsa dancing, Macanese cuisine, salt water aquariums, and yoga.
Going after a girl who isn't initially attracted to you only works in the movies
it rarely works in real life.
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Chemistry = mutual attraction
If you don't have mutual attraction then it doesn't matter if you both like Kurt
Vonnegut, salsa dancing, Macanese cuisine, salt water aquariums, and yoga.
Going after a girl who isn't initially attracted to you only works in the movies
it rarely works in real life.
Once again, good advice 2tallbill, I agree.
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I nearly made the same mistake with my ex, i actually put her on the list as my backups, luckily she persisted, i got talking to her, and she became my number one girl.
Trench you might benefit from this, i have chatted to a few girls, and the best ones i came across are the ones who are in the top 5% financially in russia (around £75k+ networth). They expect nothing much from you, just a decent income, they are not desperate for a guy they have no attraction over to be sweating all over them. They can skip out candidates easily, there are plenty of rich russians (in their 40's) my ex at the time offered to give me one of her huskies puppies for free, rare breed worth £500 in russia, a lot more in UK, it had one green and blue eye. She knew i loved to get a husky, and wanted an excuse for me to remain in russia with her. I was the problem not her, she was perfect, strong views about raising kids, but would of made a great loyal wife and caring (and very strict) mother. I was talking to a russian friend about this, and she recommended i look for women that are not financially desperate, looking back at the women i got along with, it was mostly women like this, maybe something you should keep in mind on your pursit. At the end of the day, this is a discussion forum, if you don't want to listen, that is your choice, i am sure you will do fine. we all fall over, make mistakes, a lot of the guys on here have stories a lot worse than you, but didn't let their first failure rule their future successes.
I not hurting and blinded by the way the first visit went. Its just a different strategy I wish to try I cant see the point in making the same mistake twice. Like you rightly say it wasn't a bad experience. I know the other guy on here on his first visit had a no show which must be awful being stuck out there with woman you go to meet not showing up. The advice on a more wealthy woman might actually be not bad advice. Normally I couldn't care less if a girl is not wealthy though like you say if she is not in the 'what I can get' mentality then it might be a good idea. Normally I'm not keen on girls that are quite wealthy as some can be too independent for my liking but perhaps its worth not pre-judging them. Anyway, a little time yet, I'm thinking of starting to write to girls end of June/beginning July with a idea of being there end of July/beginning August (so a 3-4 week write to visit). That way I should have a good selection of girls built up that I have exchanged a few letters with beforehand so they have a bit of an idea about me before meeting me :)
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Normally I'm not keen on girls that are quite wealthy as some can be too independent for my liking but perhaps its worth not pre-judging them
They are very strong, i had a friend, we got talking for a week, her english was perfect , gym goer, had same humor as me, sadly she had a guy she been talking to 1.5 years. This is where it gets interesting, she turned me down to go with him, she said if she didn't like him, she would happily meet me. i told her directly, i wouldn't be someones second choice, she tried to reword but i didn't listen,she said maybe after a few more weeks she would feel differently about me, she never liked a guy so fast, but i broke it there i wasn't going to be someones backup. She met the guy, turned out he wasn't right for her. during my stay in russia, and after she tried leaving sly signs that we should meet up, but i never did and never will. If you meet a girl with self respect she will do the same with you, this girl is pretty decent, i didn't ask details but she very well off for a russian my guess probably few hundred k. Her bf is good looking guy.
Another girl i knew was from st petersburg, she has been all over the world, she was brought up like a little princess, had the best phones in school, and clothes her parents were middle class. She been to UK a few times, we hit off really well, humor was there, her main concern was sexual with me. i am not kidding, i had to drag it out of her, she wanted to see how big my.... was, we got over that hurdle ;D She wanted a life with me, but at the end i broke it off with her, and she was too pushy for me to come to her, and wasn't willing to wait, she wanted to drop her masters, and i wouldn't let her. She is now dating a good looking guy in Sweden, probably my age.
My ex is the last girl, who happened to be well off also, these women are not desperate for money. don't get me wrong, i am not saying all they want is a playboy, i am not exactly a fitness model, i have abs, i work out, average looking guy. not sure why i am popular with some, i look like a muslim (got a lot of grief), yet i am okay, i focus on making a girl laugh and feel special. There is no recipe on what a girl wants, but these women date like western women, they only date guys they have a attraction for, be it physical,clothes he wears, god knows what. They are just looking for a guy that they can fall in love with, and spend their life with. You won't find them dating a guy that they have no interest in, other than his wallet.
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Thanks DK that's handy to know. I'm not sure if I'm completely sold on dating wealthy women but it's something to bear in mind. Dating poor Ukrainian women seems to have problems with the after your money issue for sure.
Well my current thoughts on this one is to try and squeeze 2 meets into each day. One at an 11-12am appointment and another at 14-15pm appointment :) That way I can get through 8 girls in 4 days. Have a day before to aclimatise to the city alone and at least a couple after to either meet up again with the best of them or meet other women on the hoof. Each meeting day I will try and meet again in the evening with the better one out of the two. If neither ringed true then again look aroundon the hoof and ddo some entertainment stuff.
The girls are going to be chosen through the 'erection test' of looking through their photos and seeing if they give me a hard on (not necessarily based on looks mind). If they do odds are there is chemistry on my side at least which I find for me often works both ways. In that case I will message and see if she is ok to line up for a date weeding out potential would be scammers of all variety as I go.
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I'm not sure if I'm completely sold on dating wealthy women but it's something to bear in mind. Dating poor Ukrainian women seems to have problems with the after your money issue for sure.
just something to keep in mind, they aren't rich, for russia, yes. they are just not dependent on a man, and don't need to date a man twice their age. They have the freedom to choose what they want.
Your "erection" test sounds just like mine :D just lately, i haven't been feeling it. I am considering on switching between Ukraine/Belarus/Russia/UK for a few years, staying in these countries for 3 months, and spending a few weeks back home with family. i will just be young for a few more years ;D
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The girls are going to be chosen through the 'erection test' of looking through their photos and seeing if they give me a hard on (not necessarily based on looks mind).
I think this is totally wrong.
Photos can be so misleading, and sex will only take up a tiny fraction of your time over the years.
My approach was to NOT look at pictures the first time around.
Set up the filters to screen for what you want in terms of:
1) City
2) Age brackets
3) Height brackets
4) Weight brackets
5) English skills
6) Education
7) Drinking
8) Smoking
9) Children
10) Religion
11) Other variables
Only after you come up with those who passed through those screens should you look at pictures. And even then, don't let the pictures be a big factor . . . except for cases of just really extremely bad looking gals.
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I think this is totally wrong.
In a purely physical sense, I agree. If, however, he can get a "mental" erection by looking at the qualities of each woman, then he has a better chance of making the elusive connection that he seeks.
My approach was to NOT look at pictures the first time around.
Set up the filters to screen for what you want in terms of:
[Set your own parameters here]
Exactly.
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If it doesn't work out, an alternative might be to Write Many, Visit Manny...........
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In a purely physical sense, I agree. If, however, he can get a "mental" erection by looking at the qualities of each woman, then he has a better chance of making the elusive connection that he seeks.
Exactly.
Do those qualities initiate attraction/chemistry? I doubt it, in truth a photo may not either but its a lot closer to doing so I believe. A women may have many admirable qualities but that doesn't mean I would be at all into her for those qualities. A woman with qualities is great but not necessarily a relationship, some women that have bad qualities some of them I find I may actually like or endear you to her. In any case while this strategy may not sound great to some I think its worth giving it a shot and see how it goes.
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If it doesn't work out, an alternative might be to Write Many, Visit Manny...........
Why would he visit the used car salesman? ;)
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I think this is totally wrong.
Photos can be so misleading, and sex will only take up a tiny fraction of your time over the years.
My approach was to NOT look at pictures the first time around.
Set up the filters to screen for what you want in terms of:
1) City
2) Age brackets
3) Height brackets
4) Weight brackets
5) English skills
6) Education
7) Drinking
8) Smoking
9) Children
10) Religion
11) Other variables
Only after you come up with those who passed through those screens should you look at pictures. And even then, don't let the pictures be a big factor . . . except for cases of just really extremely bad looking gals.
When we look for water we use dividing rods, same goes for finding women use your rod :D
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Why would he visit the used car salesman? ;)
A used car salesman would be better than a vacuum cleaner salesman. Just sayin....
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I found learning the language and working in the country and then meeting the right one works best.
After knowing numerous failed couples in the USA, the common theme was men going on tours or meeting only a couple times before marriage. Seems the men who actually worked in their spouses country and then came back to USA had in most part happy marriages. The men on wife hunting trips seem to eventually marry and then get divorced. Some of them repeat and get divorced again.
Best advice is not to rush things and spend a lot of time together.
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The men on wife hunting trips seem to eventually marry and then get divorced. Some of them repeat and get divorced again.
I guess this only happens in international marriages.
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When we look for water we use dividing rods, same goes for finding women use your rod :D
I do hope you meant "divining" rods - we're not all Moses. However, unfortunately, my own rod did not find someone divine. :(