It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: How to Visit Many without lying?  (Read 122184 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline brownbeard99

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 220
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« on: October 28, 2018, 09:28:08 PM »
Okay, so I just got back in the game and I have been talking with a handful of women on WhatsApp.  This is feeling just like online dating in the US. I haven’t written any structured emails (as in the past). It’s all a bunch of short text conversations and phone calls.

I will be in Amsterdam for business for 10 weeks starting in January, so I thought I would fly into Kiev (from Chicago) a week or two early, then go to Amsterdam, then spend a week in Kiev before going home.

When I mentioned flying out to meet one girl, she freaked out and thought I was moving too fast. She calmed down when I told her I was flying to Europe anyway, and was just making a stop in Ukraine to meet her.  However, it got me thinking... I don’t know if I am ready to put all my eggs in one basket with one girl.

The problem is with the way I have been communicating daily with these girls.  They text at any given time asking “watcha doing?”  I have a lot of flexibility with my business, so I often answer when I am not busy. I actually enjoy the “interruption”.

So the problem is that I have been very transparent with everyone I talk to. I don’t advertise that I am talking to more than one girl, but they don’t ask.  I can’t claim to be traveling to Ukraine “on business” with no further explanation. They will ask a lot of specific questions (as these curious girls tend to do) and I don’t want to tell some elaborate lie.  I also don’t want to say “none of your business”, because that is not in my nature and it would raise a red flag because I am otherwise transparent.

I personally wouldn’t want to visit with a woman if I knew she was in a trip visiting a bunch of other guys, but visiting one just feels too high risk. I have dated online quite a bit in the US and more than once I have felt 100% sure I found a match made in heaven by talking and video chatting extensively before meeting, only to be disappointed when we actually met.

I really wish there was a way to mitigate the risk of just meeting one, but my experience is that there is no way to 100% predict what the chemistry will be like in person.

Any perspective on this is appreciated.

Offline DaveNY

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1560
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2018, 09:53:46 PM »
brownbeard99 it's my understanding that some women that are EM or AFA or other brides sites are doing it just for fun. They really don't expect to meet anyone. How true it is and what percentage are on the sites for fun I don't know.

I've also been told that few men who join such sites will ever get on a plane and go to the FSU. So many women may hear this and figure they'll have a little fun and join since most sites don't charge women a fee.

I certainly believe you shouldn't just show up in her city unannounced. You should communicate with the woman and plan things out together. Just realize that she may be doing all this as a lark. Just realize that for some women this is all a game and they may have no interest in meeting you.

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2018, 10:25:33 PM »
Tell every girl you plan to visit that you're visiting them as a friend and that you're open to a serious relationship if you find the right woman. Don't make a commitment to anybody prior to a visit and since you don't have a commitment to anybody you shouldn't feel guilty dating multiple girls the same time.

When a girl asks if you're visiting any other girls on the trip, you tell them you have no girlfriend and you don't like to talk about other girls. Tell her you want to focus on only her at the moment. Even if a girl asks about your ex's tell them you don't talk about past women. The past is the past. If other girls are on your mind, many ladies will hold it against you that your mind is on another girl, not them. When they ask you tough questions, if you hesitate or look nervous, they'll think something is wrong with you and/or you're lying. If you're confident in your answers and act like you're doing nothing wrong, they'll accept it. Although many women want a man to be only theirs, they also want to know their man is in demand so tactfully giving them the impression other girls like you may make them work harder for you.

There were times I visited ladies and it didn't seem like a good match, I'd then go get dates off local dating sites. Some girls ask me why I visited their city. I tell them the truth. I came to their city to find love and didn't find it yet. Never had a problem with that answer.

I've had girls on the first date tell me they only date one man at a time and they require their man to date only them and if I want to date them again, I have to agree to it. I then ask the girl if they are ready to dedicate their life to me and only me. They always reply "no". I tell them since I have no commitment you, we're only friends and are free to date whoever we want. I tell them I know they are getting asked out a lot and they are free to date whoever they want and choose the best guy, it's their right and I'm not jealous. Except for one time, I always got a second date.

Don't be afraid to hurt people's feelings because most of those girls will drop you like a hot potato when a better man comes along. Like you, they are probably jockeying for the best mate. You have the right to find the best girl in your life and when you do, you will forget about all others.

A lot of men don't give themselves choices. Without a selection to choose from, they can't choose the best woman out of the lot. By visiting multiple women, you've increased your chances in finding a winner. Keep in mind, it's possible none of the girls you are visiting this will be a good match and you may need to do more searching.

Although you mentioned you're not doing emails like you did in the past, you can still use the tool to see how motivated some of the girls are to please you. Tell them you want to share your life in pictures and ask for their email. If they like you, they won't refuse your request. Send them the photos but don't request any of theirs. You'll find some girls, without asking, will send you a slug of photos of their life. You can get an understanding who is more "into you" over the others and who seems family orientated to the point you'll be proud to take home to mamma.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline msmob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10618
  • Country: ie
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 0-2 years
  • Trips: > 10
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2018, 12:48:48 AM »
Tried WM once - Never again

BillyB's advice assumes there's no emotion attached - there is ..  Let's be honest - we don't date to find friends .

Many women will simply not meet you - if they know you are on a VM trip

You may meet one with whom you click and you're over-running and the next date is calling - need that stress ?

Each to his own ;)








Offline MarinaSirena

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 57
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Female
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2018, 03:48:18 AM »
it sounds so pragmatic...But if i had the same problem..I d choose only one man, the best one to meet him. But you have many coctacts of other ladies. So if something will be wrong, no any chemistry...You can go to spontaneous date with someone else

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2018, 05:45:21 AM »
I was in Amsterdam in June
you’ll meet a bunch of UW/RW in Amsterdam
just go into any bar, and there they’ll be

Amsterdam is a party pickup hotspot
spring break on steroids
damned good place for you to practice your skills

I spent two years having Russian and Ukrainian girlfriends
BEFORE I decided to marry one
would recommend that approach

if you go in person, it IS NOT DIFFICULT to meet women in Ukraine AT ALL
in fact, many times I’ve had women approach me...
in can be as difficult as asking for directions, and then say, “thank you for your help, would you like a coffee” and then take it from there...
doesn’t sound difficult does it?
cuz, it’s not!

important to dress well, would lose the beard
learn as much Russian as possible
it's a blast! go have fun!
too bad you're going when it's so cold!

« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 05:48:25 AM by krimster2 »

Offline Turboguy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6551
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2018, 05:50:49 AM »
If it were me I would be slightly concerned that she was afraid you were moving too fast and would think more about trying to meet more than one on the trip.  Most of my trips to meet one were pretty much a bust and the trips to meet more than one had at least one that stood out. 


My first question would be are they in the same city?   That can make it a little more tricky.  The other thing that can make it harder if they are in the same city is when they want to meet you at the airport. 


I would agree with Krimster, lose the facial hair.  Most RW seem to consider that a big turnoff. 
« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 05:52:54 AM by Turboguy »

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16105
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2018, 06:02:01 AM »
lose the beard


I would agree with Krimster, lose the facial hair.  Most RW seem to consider that a big turnoff. 


I did great with the ladies and I had a mustache. After winning my wife's hand she asked me to shave it off, something I haven't done in decades. She like me better with no facial hair. Even my sisters and mother said I look better. But you guys are right, most FSU women don't like facial hair and prefer their man to be shaved downstairs too.

I believe brownbeard mention in another thread he doesn't look good shaved. It may be too late to shave. The girls who already agreed to meet him have accepted his beard. Of course they could be like my wife and ask him shave it off after marriage.

BillyB's advice assumes there's no emotion attached


Emotions are always attached. One reason I said don't be afraid to hurt someone's feelings.
« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 06:13:50 AM by BillyB »
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2018, 06:56:34 AM »
it's not all "visual"
depends on the kind of stubble you have around your lips
a woman's skin is very sensitive in some areas
this stubble can produce a small abrasion
on the areas you are repeatedly kissing
and will be uncomfortable for the recipient
make the skin around your lips as smooth as a mirror
and you'll have no problem
all guys know this, right?
« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 06:59:59 AM by krimster2 »

Offline brownbeard99

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 220
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2018, 07:27:02 AM »
Yes, I mentioned the facial hair in another thread...

As far as it irritating a woman’s skin, that is a universal issue, not just with FSU women, yet some women prefer it anyway.

As previously started, I have had two girlfriends who strongly preferred no facial hair. I shaved for the first one and she said “Don’t ever do that again”. She thought I went from “very attractive” to “homely” because of my genetic double chin.

When my Polish gf complained about my facial hair, I showed her a picture of myself clean shaven. She immediately decided that she would deal with her facial rash from kissing than to see me looking ugly without my beard.

In my experience it’s like  this: with a beard, fewer women want to date me, but there are still many attractive women in the mix.

Without a beard, more women want to date me, but very few of them are attractive because I look so damned ugly.

I know looks aren’t everything. I have dated women with great personalities all along the attractiveness spectrum. I would rather date a beautiful woman with a good personality than a plain women with a good personality.

Also, shaving irritates my skin and gives me a rash and skin problems.  When I was in the army, I had to deal with skin irritation and acne the entire time. Now I am free from those issues.  I guess if a woman can’t understand and accept me for who I am, I don’t need her.

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2018, 07:54:23 AM »
"When I was in the army, I had to deal with skin irritation and acne the entire time. "

yeah, had that issue as well in the Army
high alcohol content after-shave immediately after shaving eliminated that for me

after my discharge went straight to college and I grew a beard
chicks did not like it all, short lived experiment

never met a Russian woman who liked beards, and I lived there over 3 yr
but it's up to you, I can't say what you'd look like without it
but your appearance is VITALLY important
and has nothing to do with you being handsome or not handsome
you want to have the "image" of a successful upwardly mobile urban professional
and not a truck driver with an empty coke can for his "chaw"

when you go to Kyiv
would recommend renting an apartment in the Khreshchatyk area
plenty of stores, restaurants, banks, even the main post office are all within walking distance
this is where most things are located, it's "DownTown" Kyiv

learn some Russian phrases like
"I want to buy" yahachoo kopeet"
and then some nouns
beer is "piva"
learn about 2 dozen phrases, a list of nouns/verbs, count to 10 in Russian and you're all set
ignore anyone who talks about Ukrainian vrs Russian language

lose the attitude of "my way or the highway" with Ukrainian women
100% it'll be the highway
learn to compromise and negotiate
be a sympathetic empathetic person and LISTEN

and good luck
« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 12:23:01 PM by krimster2 »

Offline GQBlues

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11752
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: None (yet)
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2018, 08:16:14 AM »
Honesty is your best friend. Your 'come back' post implied you're a 'seasoned' social dude, so why be undecided now?

WMVM is suited for guys who knows and understand their way around women and how to properly relate socially. It should be instinctual. If you're not comfortable with yourself and lack confidence in handling pressure situation, I would suggest not going this route as you'll only resort to 'lying' (yes, anything short of 'honesty' IS lying).

IMHO, a) You cannot make the right choice, if you never have choices to make it from; b) A WMVM is just a WOVO waiting to happen; c) You cannot lose what you never had; d) Never abandon your wits and instincts.; e) Honesty is the seed to your confidence and attitude. Void of such, the loss of both.

I never wasted my time with the 'getting to know' stage prior to the trip. You have no idea (nor do the women with you) what or how things will be when you meet in person. IMO, this can take place after...
« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 08:17:59 AM by GQBlues »
Quote from: msmob
1. Because of 'man', global warming is causing desert and arid areas to suffer long, dry spell.
2. The 2018 Camp Fire and Woolsey California wildfires are forests burning because of global warming.
3. N95 mask will choke you dead after 30 min. of use.

Offline fathertime

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9864
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #12 on: October 29, 2018, 08:29:18 AM »
Yes, I mentioned the facial hair in another thread...

As far as it irritating a woman’s skin, that is a universal issue, not just with FSU women, yet some women prefer it anyway.

As previously started, I have had two girlfriends who strongly preferred no facial hair. I shaved for the first one and she said “Don’t ever do that again”. She thought I went from “very attractive” to “homely” because of my genetic double chin.

When my Polish gf complained about my facial hair, I showed her a picture of myself clean shaven. She immediately decided that she would deal with her facial rash from kissing than to see me looking ugly without my beard.

In my experience it’s like  this: with a beard, fewer women want to date me, but there are still many attractive women in the mix.

Without a beard, more women want to date me, but very few of them are attractive because I look so damned ugly.

I know looks aren’t everything. I have dated women with great personalities all along the attractiveness spectrum. I would rather date a beautiful woman with a good personality than a plain women with a good personality.

Also, shaving irritates my skin and gives me a rash and skin problems.  When I was in the army, I had to deal with skin irritation and acne the entire time. Now I am free from those issues.  I guess if a woman can’t understand and accept me for who I am, I don’t need her.

If you like/want your beard, just keep it.   It may take some women off the table but not every woman is supposed to like you anyway. 

Fathertime! 
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline Nightwish

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 602
  • Country: se
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed > 1 year
  • Trips: > 10
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #13 on: October 29, 2018, 08:37:00 AM »
Yes, I mentioned the facial hair in another thread...

As far as it irritating a woman’s skin, that is a universal issue, not just with FSU women, yet some women prefer it anyway.

As previously started, I have had two girlfriends who strongly preferred no facial hair. I shaved for the first one and she said “Don’t ever do that again”. She thought I went from “very attractive” to “homely” because of my genetic double chin.

When my Polish gf complained about my facial hair, I showed her a picture of myself clean shaven. She immediately decided that she would deal with her facial rash from kissing than to see me looking ugly without my beard.

In my experience it’s like  this: with a beard, fewer women want to date me, but there are still many attractive women in the mix.

Without a beard, more women want to date me, but very few of them are attractive because I look so damned ugly.

I know looks aren’t everything. I have dated women with great personalities all along the attractiveness spectrum. I would rather date a beautiful woman with a good personality than a plain women with a good personality.

Also, shaving irritates my skin and gives me a rash and skin problems.  When I was in the army, I had to deal with skin irritation and acne the entire time. Now I am free from those issues. I guess if a woman can’t understand and accept me for who I am, I don’t need her.

Exactly how I went about this also, I haven't been clean shaved since in my 20:s .. so 25+ years now. (Except for a brief meltdown 5 years ago when I tried it on my vacation, never again!)
Never had an issue getting women to date me, some has mentioned they want to see me clean shaved and I said, if the beard don't suit you, you are free to leave, but the beard stays. I keep mine very trimmed and short.
I'm sure lost out on women being turned off by it, although none has said it straight out. But the pool is deep and I never suffered from it.

My girl now has asked me to shave, but when I said no, she stopped asking, even if she gives me hints from time to time she would appreciate if I did.
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12413
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #14 on: October 29, 2018, 08:38:32 AM »

I really wish there was a way to mitigate the risk of just meeting one, but my experience is that
there is no way to 100% predict what the chemistry will be like in person.

Any perspective on this is appreciated.

First don't lie, you lose a girls trust and you are paddling with your oars
out of the water. You need to work always to build a girls trust. The best
way to do that is to be trustworthy.

You are trying to visit many using visit one tactics and that's a mistake in my
opinion.

You want to visit many then you don't try to get to know them first. Do
that and they will expect you to visit only them and if they find out you
are visiting more they will sabotage your trip.

If you want to visit many then you pick a city then write 100 girls a letter
inviting them to tea. Then you meet the girl and see if you have chemistry
or not. You NEVER date a girl twice if she is not the one. Never date a girl
twice just because she is hot.

You date a girl twice only because you think she might be the one. If you
don't know then she's not it.

If you want to mitigate your risk then you visit one with a backup plan. The
back up plan is to meet other girls. A backup plan is NOT to meet your second
choice. You don't want sloppy seconds, she doesn't want sloppy seconds, don't
bother the second place girl. Meet new girls find a new first place girl.


You can read all about various strategies and tactics here
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12413
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #15 on: October 29, 2018, 08:46:58 AM »
it sounds so pragmatic...But if i had the same problem..I d choose only one man, the best one to
meet him. But you have many coctacts of other ladies. So if something will be wrong, no any
chemistry...You can go to spontaneous date with someone else

I'm old enough to be your father and I am happily married, so for the purpose of this
exercise lets assume somebody else who is 5 years older than you and obviously not
married, further let's assume that this 5 years older unmarried man just wrote an
email to your friend and your response is how you would advise her.

This man writes your friend and asks her to meet for tea (and cake because he wants to
sweeten the deal). The purpose of the meeting is to see if they like each other or not.

What would you advise this girl knowing in advance if things worked out he would pursue
her and knowing in advance if things didn't work out that he would keep looking.

What's your advice to this girl?
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #16 on: October 29, 2018, 09:32:32 AM »
how do I explain it to you guys?

you go to Ukraine to chase women
but in Ukraine women chase you!

ok?
NOW do you get it!
i know... I know... it's so subtle...
but think it about it for a second
you want the women to chase you!


most of you poor sods out there
will never know what it feels like
when you allow yourself to be captured by a Ukrainian woman
you have no idea of the incredible "animal magnetism"
a Ukrainian woman can throw off when she has set her sights on you
the amount of manipulation and persuasion she can employ to "win you over"
the raw sexual appeal of a beautiful physically perfect 20 yr old Ukrainian Woman is absolutely astonishing
and devastating

and then she cooks you the best breakfast you ever had in your entire life next morning
and you're thinking, "she MIGHT be a keeper"

American men, have NEVER had the experience of a woman making a maximum effort to "please her man"
I know, I dated plenty of American Women, and lived with two long term
it would be labeled as "subservient behavior" by American feminists
but this is what comes NATURALLY to Ukrainian women, it's how "they roll"

hmmmmmmmmmmmm hmmmm!


so ya'll wanna mess around and pass that up, go right ahead and have a nice day!!!
for narrow is the path to paradise, and although many may search for the gate
only few will find it



« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 05:53:24 PM by krimster2 »

Offline brownbeard99

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 220
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #17 on: October 29, 2018, 10:41:21 AM »
lose the attitude of "my way or the highway" with Russian women
100% it'll be the highway
learn to compromise and negotiate
be a sympathetic empathetic person and LISTEN

and good luck

I took your advice and went straight to some of the ladies I have been talking to.  I asked,

"I have many friends who have told me that Ukrainian women hate facial hair and I should shave immediately.  I was curious to know if you agree"

Some responses were:

"Nooooo"

"I don't like baby face"

"I love facial hair, it's cool"

"I LOVE it! If you look after it"

"We don't like it because our men don't how to look after all this hair and they just look like homeless"


So, the women have spoken!  The beard stays!  I realize this is a self selected survey.  I'm sure the women you clean shaven guys date would say the exact opposite.  The thing is, women aren't extremely attracted to a guy because he is clean shaven.  Those women just hate beards.  However, some women are very attracted to a guy, just because of the beard.

Let's say 100 of us forum members were in a room with 100 Ukrainian women.  99 of you clean shaven guys would be fighting over the 95 girls who hated beards while I would have zero competition for the five girls who loved facial hair.  (Please don't attack my analogy... it's just an analogy and I'm sure you can find all sorts of flaws with it.)

My point is this... I have become extremely picky with my criteria of even who I will talk to, yet I can't even manage the responses I have been getting (mostly unsolicited).  I don't see any reason to change anything about myself when I can't manage the number of women I am communicating with right now.

I will agree that probably most women hate facial hair.  I don't need most women.  I just need the right ONE woman who accepts me.  I am an American man and I don't intend to make myself more like a Ukrainian man.  I think some Ukrainian women wear too much makeup, but I don't expect a woman to change her appearance for me.  I will accept them for who they are and want the same in return.

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #18 on: October 29, 2018, 10:50:44 AM »
so a guy whose pic has him sporting facial hair, asks UW, "Do you like guys with beards"

i'll make a fake profile pic of a guy covered in 3rd degree facial burns, and say "ladies you like facial mutilation"
they will all say
DA!  Eta Cressiva!

all up to you, but I've had to learn how to make lots of sacrifices "for the cause"
don't see why your beard seems so sacred to you, but hey, to each their own

as I've tried to explain
you need to carefully form your "brand" image
I honestly hope you're not presenting them with your avatar here?

Offline brownbeard99

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 220
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #19 on: October 29, 2018, 11:01:59 AM »
Honesty is your best friend. Your 'come back' post implied you're a 'seasoned' social dude, so why be undecided now?

WMVM is suited for guys who knows and understand their way around women and how to properly relate socially. It should be instinctual. If you're not comfortable with yourself and lack confidence in handling pressure situation, I would suggest not going this route as you'll only resort to 'lying' (yes, anything short of 'honesty' IS lying).

IMHO, a) You cannot make the right choice, if you never have choices to make it from; b) A WMVM is just a WOVO waiting to happen; c) You cannot lose what you never had; d) Never abandon your wits and instincts.; e) Honesty is the seed to your confidence and attitude. Void of such, the loss of both.

I never wasted my time with the 'getting to know' stage prior to the trip. You have no idea (nor do the women with you) what or how things will be when you meet in person. IMO, this can take place after...

You make some good points....

To answer your initial question on why am undecided.... Over the past few years, I have become pretty proficient at domestic online dating.  I saw dating kind of like a sales pipeline.  Let's say I would message 50 girls.  20 would respond.  Of those, I would get 10 phone numbers.  I would ask some of them out and maybe get two dates.  I did this on a rolling basis and would have 1-3 dates a week.  If I wanted to pursue something with someone I dated, I would throw everyone out and focus on her.  If/when things didn't work out, I would start over.... lather, rinse repeat...

I'm trying to see how I can leverage a "system" that I am proficient at as I approach this.  The big difference is I am now planning around a longer trip instead of just a weekend with 2-3 dates.  I can emotionally manage being "flirty" and calling/texting 3-4 girls at once without negative consequences.  The thing is that in the US, everyone openly knows that your date for next Friday is still talking to other people.  I have been on the phone with a girl planning our date and can see that she is online on the dating site we met on (she can also see I am online) and nobody seems to care (until you are actually dating each other, anyway).

I don't want to commit to a WOVO, but don't want to look like I'm a player either.  I appreciate everyone's input and advice.  I am fine tuning my approach each day.  When I come back from Ukraine, I'll be sure to let everyone know how it went.

Offline brownbeard99

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 220
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #20 on: October 29, 2018, 11:10:02 AM »
so a guy whose pic has him sporting facial hair, asks UW, "Do you like guys with beards"

i'll make a fake profile pic of a guy covered in 3rd degree facial burns, and say "ladies you like facial mutilation"
they will all say
DA!  Eta Cressiva!

all up to you, but I've had to learn how to make lots of sacrifices "for the cause"
don't see why your beard seems so sacred to you, but hey, to each their own

as I've tried to explain
you need to carefully form your "brand" image
I honestly hope you're not presenting them with your avatar here?

These are not just random women from a website.  They are women who I have talked to extensively offline.

Of course I have facial hair in all my pics.  I also have facial hair when I video chat with them.  It's because I have facial hair.

Why are you being so insulting to me?  What did I ever do to you?  I don't think it's necessary to compare my appearance to someone with 3rd degree facial burns.
« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 11:15:52 AM by brownbeard99 »

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #21 on: October 29, 2018, 11:17:05 AM »
dude,
calm the hell down
jeezus

tryin to explain to ya bro
the simple logic
that girls who see your pic and who write you
won't be dissing your appearance
if they don't like beards they just won't write you!!!
and you don't know you could've had 5 times as many hits without the face fuzz
you LOVE your beard, keep it!
absolutely NO PROBLEM for me!!!!

BUT, you have no freakin experience in Ukraine
so was trying to clue you in 'bro
don't be so freakin thin skinned and so volatile
or things will not go well for you in Ukraine, ponelle? no you don't
so go and find out
you and your beard go and have a swell time together
I will be SO looking forward to your trip report
your beard will be quite useful in protecting you from the cold this January
but that's about it!





« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 05:45:57 PM by krimster2 »

Offline brownbeard99

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 220
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Committed 0-1 year
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #22 on: October 29, 2018, 11:31:50 AM »
dude,
calm the hell down
jeezus

tryin to explain to ya bro
the simple logic
that girls see your pic
they won't be dissing your appearance
but what about the ones who didn't write you
cuz THEY don't dig beards, ok...


I'm trying to explain my logic that I don't care about the ones that don't write me because of my beard.  There are others who won't write me because I have kids or because I'm too old.

The scraps that are left... those who are truly interested in me... are more than I can handle.  I don't need a bigger pool of women to choose from.  Even if 99% reject me, I still have a pool of the 1% of beautiful, educated women to choose from.

Online krimster2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5828
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: Resident
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #23 on: October 29, 2018, 11:40:57 AM »
bro
I can't do anything bout what's in YOUR head
but I am trying to give you the straight no bullshit facts
ask yourself this one question who do you want to advise you
a couple of chicks trying to stroke your ego
or someone who will tell you straight out when you're being a dick and doesn't care at all if you get pissed about it
I'll leave that decision up to you

if the beard is that important to you, so be it
kids, that's a whole separate deal
do you know how THAT's perceived by Ukrainian women?
MUCH bigger problem than the beard

"Even if 99% reject me, I still have a pool of the 1% of beautiful, educated women to choose from."

don't work that way Bro, the bottom of the barrel ain't like it is at the top


« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 11:52:38 AM by krimster2 »

Online 2tallbill

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12413
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Living the dream
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
How to Visit Many without lying?
« Reply #24 on: October 29, 2018, 11:50:59 AM »
So, the women have spoken!  The beard stays! 

I am totally indifferent to beards, besides my is mostly gray anyway
and isn't as cool as it was when I was younger. The only reason I grew
one back then was because
1. My basketball coach forbid us to have them.
2. I thought it would enable me to buy beer.

I heard that Russian women mostly didn't like them so I kept myself clean shaven.
It wasn't something important to me.

If a beard is important to you for whatever reason then keep it and look
for girls who like beards. If you only like red heads then chase red heads
if you would rather date lepers than ginger girls then by all means ignore
them.

When you ask questions here you will get lots of advice. Some of it will
be very good and some of it will be more dubious. What's most important
is not to get offended by any of the people giving out advice.

Some people will think that their advice is extra super special and everybody
who doesn't agree with it are idiots and doomed to failure. They will fight
anyone who disagrees with their super duper infallible fits all situations
advice.

My opinion is that there are a hundred ways to succeed at this and a thousand
ways to f#ck it up.

Only you knows your personality, your situation and your goals. My advice is
to read all the advice sifting through it taking out the good stuff that you
think fits you and your situation and personality. Keep the best and ignore
the rest.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 8883
Latest: Leroy14
New This Month: 1
New This Week: 0
New Today: 0
Stats
Total Posts: 541006
Total Topics: 20849
Most Online Today: 2013
Most Online Ever: 12701
(January 14, 2020, 07:04:55 AM)
Users Online
Members: 11
Guests: 1882
Total: 1893

+-Recent Posts

Re: What to do by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:33:48 PM

Re: If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by Trenchcoat
Today at 12:24:44 PM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 11:16:08 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by ML
Today at 10:31:43 AM

Re: What to do by krimster2
Today at 09:47:10 AM

What to do by 2tallbill
Today at 09:37:41 AM

Re: If you don't know what you are talking about, post away anyway by 2tallbill
Today at 09:18:17 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Today at 07:00:25 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by Brillynt
Today at 06:16:36 AM

Re: American With Russian Fiancé - Scheduled For K1 Interview In Warsaw, BUT.... by krimster2
Yesterday at 09:20:42 PM

Powered by EzPortal