Is it smart to be a "One week wonder"?

[KenC]

Greg,

Couple of questions for you-  What stage are you at in your relationship with your RW?  Married? engaged?

As you indicated, your brain told you to wait and be sure, but emotionally you dove right in.  Other than time, what would you have lost in waiting for your logics to catch up with your emotions?

With the high rate of marriage failures and the extra burden of cultural and language differences, wouldn't it be more reasonable to wait the extra time?

What was your rush?

KenC

[Son of Clyde]

I believe that I have found a special woman and I can relate to what Greg is feeling.

I have waited 54 years to find her and yes I was in a hurry not to lose her.

There is just too much time in between visits not to make a committment when things feel right. She has yet to do anything to make me doubt her. And don't forget it is a two way street. What if I was not genuine with her and led her on about my intentions?

When you think about being alone most of your life you want to fill the void and you don't want to waste a lot more time. Life is too short.

I hope things will continue this way and we will have the same feelings for each other in 5 years. 

[300spartans]

 KenC,
 I like your advice. But you are a one-week wonder but do not admit it. You are thus "Do as I say, not as I did". You met one woman and fell in love with her the first week, and married her nine months later. This is discounting the email side of things, which in my experience is not to be taken too seriously as a guide to a FSUW's character. There was a big element of good luck in your selection of an honest and sincere wife who was at the time a twenty-year-old student, a high-risk category of mate for an older man. Most one week wonders cannot marry during that first week, many use the K-1 process etc, nine months is a likely average. How many of the nine months did you actually live in the FSU with your fiancé? Part of the reason for the nine month's wait was to ensure you would not be taken to the cleaners financially? You bought her a Mercedes, and still hire cleaners and people putting up Xmas decorations, thus I for one am not surprised she is still with you. Most WM cannot afford these things. For her, you remain a very good catch even now that she is in the USA.

You have elsewhere said that failed marriages are a sign of bad character. My marriage agency manager says exactly the same thing about the many WM who have been landed with dishonest wives via his agency. The man is always at fault, not the tricky "Westward-Ho" FSUW.

 Six months ago you had been married for five years. Now it is a shorter marriage, at four and a half years.

 300spartans

[KenC]

300,

The time descrepency is due to the fact that I cut & pasted an old post from another forum.  As of this date (2/6/05) we have been married almost exactly 5 1/2 years.  I fail to see how you can call me a one week wonder as  I didn't get engaged within a week's time. I did make a second trip to Russia and still did not get engaged.  I brought my wife to this country without getting engaged.  It was only after some months here that we got married.  (Many many months after meeting and living together.)  I plan to always be a great catch!.  That is why I deserve such a great woman!

KenC

[300spartans]

 
My apologies, KenC, I forgot that you brought your fiancé to the US on a student visa, not a K-1. And you certainly did not make the error of marrying her in the FSU. What I really meant is that basically you fell madly in love with her in the first week together. Not your precise words, a little reading between the lines here.  There is nothing wrong with that; I did it too, although many men get attacked for doing this. This is what I meant by saying that you, also, may be a one-week wonder. For which of course there is no simple definition, just as "looser' has no generally accepted definition. FSU women know how to use sex to get a man to fall in love with them.

 Best wishes, I know you have a good wife and hope that all other WM could be as lucky.

[KenC]

[user=150]300spartans[/user] wrote:

 
My apologies, KenC, I forgot that you brought your fiancé to the US on a student visa, not a K-1. And you certainly did not make the error of marrying her in the FSU. What I really meant is that basically you fell madly in love with her in the first week together. Not your precise words, a little reading between the lines here.  There is nothing wrong with that; I did it too, although many men get attacked for doing this. This is what I meant by saying that you, also, may be a one-week wonder. For which of course there is no simple definition, just as "looser' has no generally accepted definition. FSU women know how to use sex to get a man to fall in love with them.

 Best wishes, I know you have a good wife and hope that all other WM could be as lucky.

300,

Of course I was in love with what I knew of Lnea in the first week.  But there is a huge difference between love and lust/infatuation, and you cannot tell the difference without more time.  I didn't know Lena well enough to be in love with her in the first week.

I don't know if I would catagorize "one week wonders" as losers as much as I would "foolish".  I believe that they take the huge risk of ruining two lives (maybe more with children) on a foolish gamble that their lust/infatuation is true love.  This risk even becomes greater if the man is not savy or experienced with women in general.

Of course I only wish everyone could find the love and companionship that I found in Russia.  I just wouldn't bet my life on it after only a week.

KenC

[Bruno]

KenC write : I don't know if I would catagorize "one week wonders" as losers as much as I would "foolish".  I believe that they take the huge risk of ruining two lives (maybe more with children) on a foolish gamble that their lust/infatuation is true love.  This risk even becomes greater if the man is not savy or experienced with women in general.


These "one week wonders" are not looser of foolish... they are only people who don't know the definition of love...

These man are certainly the same that the "one night wonder" in our western country... they find a woman in disco, sleep with her and say "i love you" the morning... they marry in Vegas the next night... and are divorced after 3 month...

Real love need time... and when it appear, it is not a end, only the beginning... after the marriage, you need to work each day for keep your love living... so much man and woman are not the same after marriage that before... for so people, the marriage is the end... in place to be the beginning ...

One week wonder are like fast food... not a bad taste but one hour after, you have again need to eat... choose restaurant, more expensive, more slow but with quality meal...

Of course, one week wonder work for some but i don't recommend it...

[Photo Guy]

Love at first sight?

Yes, it can happen. I've read many accounts AND it
happened to me. If you haven't experienced it, you
can't really understand it. It isn't like 'lust' at all.
It was more a feeling of complete comfort and
excitement. She said things that I was thinking.
There was a bizarre psychic connection. It was not
like a one night stand. It was love -before sex or
without sex. It wasn't like, 'Look at that amazing body,
or beautiful eyes!' It was more like being totally
in-synch with a stranger who you feel you've
known for years. It's a psychic metaphysical
connection, and more common than you think.
      Having said all of this, I will admit that there
are plenty of people who don't have a clue and
do confuse lust with love. No doubt about it.
       With 'love at first sight', it is still best to take it
slow at a reasonable pace, because..why not?  -doug

[BC]

Bruno wrote:

"Of course, one week wonder work for some but i don't recommend it..."

If everything had not 'fit' in such a natural manner outside the MOB scene I would not have even considered proposing during the first week of our second meeting. Neither of us were actively looking for a partner with intent to marry so maybe, just maybe this might have increased our chances a bit. We did have 2 months though without any contact at all to cool off and consider the possibilities, implications and consequences before meeting again. In fact we did not even know for sure we would see each other again.

Yes it was a heck of a risk anyway without MOB pressures. Adding implied intent of two people who's goal is to marry from the get go and it's sort of like being already addicted and playing roulette with your rent money.

IMHO a good long pause to reflect before proposing will help prevent your headspin from turning into a tailspin.

[KenC]

 Adding implied intent of two people who's goal is to marry from the get go and it's sort of like being already addicted and playing roulette with your rent money.

 

That is a very very good way of putting it.

KenC

[jb]

PhotoGuy,,, Dougiska,,, buddy,,,

Have you actually met this woman yet?  If you've mentioned that you've already been there and met in person I missed it.  If you did, disregard this post altogether.

Your post said some really sweet things about your feelings for this woman, and I truly hope what you want happens.  I want everyone to be as happy as me and Etna are.

However, until you actually meet her and look into those baby blues at a distance of less than 30 centimeters, you really just have a pen friend and a phone pal.  Everything I read tells me you have made a classic mistake of falling in love with a photograph, exacerbated by a sexily accented voice on the phone.  I've seen this before, it's a deadly combination.   Be careful where you put your heart.  Entrusted in the wrong hands can be hazardous to your mental well being.

[Photo Guy]

PhotoGuy,,, Dougiska,,, buddy,,,

Have you actually met this woman yet?  If you've mentioned that you've already been there and met in person I missed it.  If you did, disregard this post altogether.

Your post said some really sweet things about your feelings for this woman, and I truly hope what you want happens.  I want everyone to be as happy as me and Etna are.

However, until you actually meet her and look into those baby blues at a distance of less than 30 centimeters, you really just have a pen friend and a phone pal.  Everything I read tells me you have made a classic mistake of falling in love with a photograph, exacerbated by a sexily accented voice on the phone.  I've seen this before, it's a deadly combination.   Be careful where you put your heart.  Entrusted in the wrong hands can be hazardous to your mental well being.

Say what?  I was just talking about the one week wonder
subject in general. As for me and Larisa, I'm getting to know
her. She's sweet and we're on the same page. I NEVER
said I was in love with her. What are you refering to? My
statement about Love At First Sight? That wasn't referring to
Larisa. So what are you talking about?   -doug

[jb]

Doug,

I was referring to your post, in which you said:

Love at first sight?

Yes, it can happen. I've read many accounts AND it
happened to me.

It sounded to me like you thought it was a done deal without having met the girl.  Sorry if I mis-read your post.

[Photo Guy]

Love at first sight?

Yes, it can happen. I've read many accounts AND it
happened to me.

It sounded to me like you thought it was a done deal without having met the girl.  Sorry if I mis-read your post.[/quote]
Ha! I must clear this up. In 2001, I had a Love At First Sight
experience. That's past history. Bruno basically said
either you fall in love slowly and responsibly OR it's just
a situation based on lust -like a one-nighter. I just had to
chime in with the third choice of 'Love At First Sight'.

I can see how I might've created the wrong impression. Oops.
No, Larisa and I are doing well and it's a cozy email thing,
but I need to meet her face to face, before I fall into that
deep place called L-O-V-E.  In the meanwhile, I'm really
enjoying the ride with this woman who is just so
non-American <grin>, and right up my alley. It's such a
different vibe from what I'm used to with AW. No, I don't
think it's anything like a 'done deal'. In fact, I wish I was
emailing dozens of women, but that doesn't work for me.
My 'plan B' will be to setup meetings with various RW in
a major city. Maybe I won't need a plan B. We'll see
this Spring.  -doug

[Vaughn]

Hey, Son of Clyde! I've seen many happy couples
but you two win some sort of prize! Great photo!

Vaughn

[Markus]

I couldn't resist the temptation. The answer is YES!!!!

[Jumper]

LOL Mark!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Turboyguy said:

Then too last spring I wanted to bring one gal in form Starvapol to Moscow and another from Socci to St Petersburg.   The gal from Starvapol wanted $ 200.00 for her expenses (Airfare+cab).   The gal from Socci wated $ 800.00.   (in her defense she was staying more days).  When the $ 800.00 gal arrived she said her money was gone (mysteriously, she did not know where) I think she got another $ 500 then and got into a big fight with me at the end of the trip when I only gave her another $ 250.00 (just for pocket money)   Just for the record the $ 800.00 gal and I were both bored with each other and did not get along.  (She did not like to go anywhere.  She told me the only thing she enjoys doing is sitting on the couch watching tv, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes)  Of course I should not talk about my friend, this gal was 19 and my age is in the same range with my friend

Turbo-
man i have got to ask you..
what were your plans with this girl? are you actually  looking for a wife ,or just playing around ? (hey thats understandble)

you give $800 to a 19 yo old girl party girl who just likes to sit on the coiuch and drink piva,,(hopefully she was one smokinhotkova)
that you dont seem to have much real interest in,,
to fly from Sochi to st pete..
why 800? why not 1800? the airfare is more like $250?(or less?)
you were making up for her lost salary while with you?
 or very expensive hotel? (just curiuos)

she shows up ,with no money ,, and no good explanation why its ALL gone, and you give her another $500 or so?
then later you give her $250 for just pocket money and you guys
actually *fight* over it because she thinks it isnt enough?

Turbo!
seriously - are you mentally ill? LOL
early alzhiemers? and forgot you already had $1300 invested?
that a big percentage of she had *cough* misplaced..? lol

You knew she was a young party girl..of no real interst in marrying her it seems anyway ??
if all you wanted was a young squeeze for the week,,
She  surely wasnt any hotter than  a thousand 19 year olds in st pete, that would have dated you just as easily for a few outfits , dinner and your attention ??
and wow , there should be no flippin "fight" about anything?
when she complianed it wasnt enough pocket change , you surely just took it back dint you? She surely understood the situation, maybe better than you?
why would you take any flack from her over money after all that?

You were actually  using this as an example,
 and then go on to say you wish you knew how easy gals would come visit others cities and you would have been doing more of that all along, and probably already married?
wow.

Isnt taking a young party chick from Sochi to st pete ,
like taking sand to the beach?


Hey i'm honestly not trying to be harsh,,
i went out with one of the girls that at the time was on the front page of at least a hundred websites,, *just because*
(I had spoken to her on the phone and  knew i wouldnt have any real interest in her before we met,but didanyeay..prolly for the same reasons you flew in sochi girl )  *shrugs*
 but as big of pro dater as she was(maybe still is) , she would have jumped to go to st pete without any extra monetary incentive..
(other than likely expecting a gift or two that she would plan also to compensate for ) and it would have been a good time.

where in the heck in all if the FSU do you find these girls that would complian in that situation you described ?
and why do you find them??
LOL

sorry it just has me scratching my head..

When there are literally thousands of attractive FSU women like
this:
http://www.idi-bridge.com/bride/lady07/b778.html (34yo)

http://www.idi-bridge.com/bride/lady08/b869.html (37yo)
 
http://www.idi-bridge.com/bride/lady07/b732.html (42yo)
http://www.idi-bridge.com/bride/lady07/b733.html  (42yo)
http://www.idi-bridge.com/bride/lady08/b878.html (29yo)
http://www.idi-bridge.com/bride/lady08/b863.html (41yo)
http://www.idi-bridge.com/bride/lady07/b749.html (36yo)


 that would probably be very enthusiastic about the trip, not expect that kind of money to be spent or offered,
and possibly  even be offended at that kind of outlay!!

and more importantely *generally* be mature and really ,sincerely,
be interested in you as husband material?

i just dont get it.

(sorry to pick on you, I do understand that you have dated various ages,
 and still in the process, but this post just stood out as WTF were ya thinking?..lol)

Below is not 19yo ,,  but 34 yo  -
 i met at least a dozen seriuosly marriage minded RW like this,,
so it seemed silly to mess with  teenaged party chicks- plenty of those around here 

but thats just me.. *shrugs*

[BC]

I see that dead-thread 'CPR' was successful~

 

[Jumper]

LOL BC!

I was just bored and figured if Mark takes  grief in a thread about OWWonders  ,
Turbo can get an equal helping for  just being silly...? 

ahh whatever,,
Turbo if you dont get married soon,
i'll have to turn Morman and marry an extra one , just for you..
humanitarian that i am and all... 
(shoot my wife probably wouldnt even mind, if i hung enough noodles first..)

Speaking of which i have a call to make !

[2tallbill]

Is it smart to be a "One week wonder"?

p.s. (I also think that the more experienced posters here do the newbies a great disservice by just congratulating the "one week wonders" and not warning them of the potential harm their actions may cause)

I made 4 trips to meet and be with Angel Eyes, she made 2 trips to be with me.
During her second trip I decided that I was not going to send her back, so I
drove her to Las Vegas and married her.

[krimster2]

the thing about playing 'games of chance'
is once in awhile ya hear about someone hitting 'a big jackpot' which gets attention
but you almost never hear about the 'schmucks' (am I allowed yiddish on this site?) who lose their shirt...
so noobs consider it realistic to play because of the lack of perceived negatives
they don't do any sort of analysis. to determine their chances of success
if they did, most of 'em would't gamble with their lives this way

even if yur a card counter, in the world's dumbest casino (doesn't reshuffle deck)
when you place yur bet on the table
it's always gonna be a sphicter tightening moment

good players, have real playin skillz that they've learned, it bumps up their odds
poor players only have the image of the jackpot and how they're gonna spend it

how do ya say, "I dropped the toothpaste in German"?
CrestFallen
ach mensch...

[ML]

. . . I decided that I was not going to send her back, so I drove her to Las Vegas and married her.

A form of 'kid-napping?'

[ML]

I was also a 'wonder.'

Current wife and I married after she had lived with me for 3 and half years in USA.

We had 're-introduced' 4 years earlier after having briefly first met a few times 10 years earlier at business meetings.

In early May, it will have been 20 years since our brief first meetings.

Since I am so old . . . I can't wait around to celebrate X years of marriage, so we are going to celebrate our 20th in May 2024.

We still 'wonder' how it all came about.

- - - -

One tid-bit:

When she was waiting in line for first visa (student type) to USA she said:

"God,  if I should NOT go to USA, then just don't allow my visa to be approved."

[2tallbill]

A form of 'kid-napping?'

Yeah, but she was in love with me. It was Norf Dakody's variation on
Stockholm syndrome (in ND your brain freezes from the cold a little bit).