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Author Topic: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?  (Read 28843 times)

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Offline JayH

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Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« on: February 21, 2017, 01:34:59 AM »
Trench,

Gotta tell you, this search for an Eastern European wife is not for you.  You are the most over cautious conservative cheap individual I have seen on this or any other forum.  By virtue of your questions, I can tell that you are not sexually adept.  Nor do you have the communication skills to effectively convey your feelings positively to a lady from Eastern Europe.  Some people just are not meant for this.  You are one such person.

Like I said months ago   -- a socially inept misfit  !
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline Gator

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2017, 06:50:11 AM »
 
Like I said months ago   -- a socially inept misfit  !


One oddball's assessment of another.  Just because we are different does not mean we can not find a wonderful woman to love. 

My positive assessment:     

1.  I give Trench A++ for effort.  That is worth much. 

2.   He has much to learn, yet is not shy about admitting what he does not know.  And he seems to be learning. 

3.  FSUW come in all varieties and I am certain some would be an ideal life partner.   Trench will eventually find them if he plans well and is well prepared.   

4.  What he learns and experiences may help him with UK women.

5.  Trench may experience a metamorphosis and steal your woman JayH, assuming your obsession with Trump  gives you time to communicate with FSUW. 


My impression (no facts to support it) is that Trench may be aiming too high.  When we undertake this effort, we discover a number of FSUW are sincerely interested in meeting us, and many are more compelling (not just in physical appearance) than the women we typically date at home.    However,  if we continue to search far outside of our league, we will likely fail. Trench, only you know this situation.       

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2017, 07:40:28 AM »
Thanks Gator, your comments give me hope  :) I think your right in what you say. I'm going to work through this and see if I can make it. Am I aiming too high? Well I get interest from some hot women over the years but I tend to think that I keep coming off second best to some other guy that is better socially than me, more of a natural socially if you like. My thoughts are that the situation in the FSU and perhaps different outlook of women there may help me. They seem to be more interested in intellegent men who are considerate and perhaps most of all can provide. So instead of changing my self change the environment in which I operate. Like you say it may be a case of finding the correct women regardless of whether she is a 5,6,7,8,9,10 or whatever. I'm not looking for a model it doesn't bother me but I do need to find her attractive and there be chemistry. So I'll keep on plugging away and adjust as situation makes apparent to me.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline jone

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2017, 09:59:02 AM »
 

One oddball's assessment of another.  Just because we are different does not mean we can not find a wonderful woman to love. 

My positive assessment:     

1.  I give Trench A++ for effort.  That is worth much. 

2.   He has much to learn, yet is not shy about admitting what he does not know.  And he seems to be learning. 

3.  FSUW come in all varieties and I am certain some would be an ideal life partner.   Trench will eventually find them if he plans well and is well prepared.   

4.  What he learns and experiences may help him with UK women.

5.  Trench may experience a metamorphosis and steal your woman JayH, assuming your obsession with Trump  gives you time to communicate with FSUW. 


My impression (no facts to support it) is that Trench may be aiming too high.  When we undertake this effort, we discover a number of FSUW are sincerely interested in meeting us, and many are more compelling (not just in physical appearance) than the women we typically date at home.    However,  if we continue to search far outside of our league, we will likely fail. Trench, only you know this situation.       

Gator,

My assessment comes from watching many people in this endeavor.  My own experiences included.  The simple fact is that there is someone for everyone out there.  But some guys do not have the ability to interact with women in a way that stimulates interest.   I have no doubt that Trench is a nice guy and that he is a warm individual.  But traveling a distance to find a mate stacks the odds against a successful relationship.  Add in the other features of Trench's personality and the odds become even higher.

If he continues to pursue an FSU relationship, I, for one, will not stand in his way on this forum.  But when it is very apparent to many members of the forum that his aptitude for such an endeavor is not high, he should be made aware that such is the case.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Gator

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2017, 04:10:25 PM »
Thanks Gator, your comments give me hope  :) I think your right in what you say. I'm going to work through this and see if I can make it.


Its your decision.  Study your interim results and evaluate whether you are making progress.  Progress would be an increasing number of women who want to talk with you again and again via Skype. 

Quote
My thoughts are that the situation in the FSU and perhaps different outlook of women there may help me.
 

Do not think the grass is greener.  Women are pretty much the same if national cultures  are not dramatically different.  Russia is not much different than the West.  Iran is different, yet I had two Iranian girlfriends while living there (not simultaneously) who were not dramatically different from AW.  "Boy meets girl" is similar in may lands. 


Quote
They seem to be more interested in intellegent men who are considerate and perhaps most of all can provide.

Any woman will appreciate these.  If you have social intelligence you will be able to have long, interesting, fun discussions with women.  And such is necessary to build a loving relationship.  How is that progressing?


Quote
So I'll keep on plugging away and adjust as situation makes apparent to me.

Establish a series of interim goals,  measure your progress, and then decide what to do. 

Offline Gator

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #5 on: February 21, 2017, 04:18:43 PM »

The simple fact is that there is someone for everyone out there.  But some guys do not have the ability to interact with women in a way that stimulates interest.   I have no doubt that Trench is a nice guy and that he is a warm individual.  But traveling a distance to find a mate stacks the odds against a successful relationship.  Add in the other features of Trench's personality and the odds become even higher.



It is his time, his money, his decision.  I assume Trench is still looking in UK.  There are many women who also are socially awkward around strangers, yet when you get to know them they have depth.  How do you meet them?  Usually at work, introductions at social gatherings, etc.  Can not do that in the FSU and instead must use Internet dating sites. 

Yes, the odds are high.  Who knows?  I admit that I tend to encourage people to pursue stretch goals. 

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2017, 04:28:24 PM »
jb once told me I should just tear-up my ticket and forget about this pursuit after I returned from my first trip. He said I wasn't cut-up for this as this endeavor are designed for a certain group of men. Best advice I ever got on this board (I think it was Spencer's RWG).

Except for one very special exception, he was spot on on everything else!
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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2017, 08:25:54 PM »
jb once told me I should just tear-up my ticket and forget about this pursuit after I returned from my first trip. He said I wasn't cut-up for this as this endeavor are designed for a certain group of men. Best advice I ever got on this board (I think it was Spencer's RWG).

Except for one very special exception, he was spot on on everything else!

Then how come you're still on this board if you're no longer looking for a FSW? I know some guys go on this journey after already being married or had a family with good social skills, guys like that can pick up often. I'm not one of then unfortunately but I still think there is scope here as gator even jone says there can be someone out there for everyone. Take that guy on that docu-film 'love me' he was 45 years old, never had a girlfriend, had met 35-50 odd women in the FSU and still no joy. He didn't come across as particularly socially skilled nor wealthy, but he managed to get someone, 15 years his junior. So it's possible, you can have good fun along the way along with any problems of course.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #8 on: February 21, 2017, 08:58:58 PM »


It is his time, his money, his decision.  I assume Trench is still looking in UK.  There are many women who also are socially awkward around strangers, yet when you get to know them they have depth.  How do you meet them?  Usually at work, introductions at social gatherings, etc.  Can not do that in the FSU and instead must use Internet dating sites. 

Yes, the odds are high.  Who knows?  I admit that I tend to encourage people to pursue stretch goals.

Stretch goals? How so by going beyond limiting themselves to FSW dating to improve other aspects of themselves.

Well my line of work there isn't often many women to meet. To be honest I've always found work often too formal place to meet women. I'm not looking for a woman in the UK it's a complete waste of time, if one came up fine but otherwise no. I get a lot more luck with FSU women, I'm learning all the time and know when I'm on a good lead these days :) but to be honest I'm in a bit of a dilemma. If I Skype with a girl she expects on any meeting for it to be a week long date. i.e where I'm paying for all the entertainment and all. This doesn't bother me so much as it's relatively cheap out there. It bothers me though if there is no chemistry between the two of us as I am then locked into a situation spending the week on something that is gping no where and the iritation, frustration and disappointment that goes with that. Fine if I'm going to spend all year out there but even on a month or so trip it's still a lot of time put my schedule. This makes me want to just go out there and call them up when there to avoid all this and I would hope increase the liklihood of a girl turning up with chemistry. To some this is a big no no they say the girl will be turned off by such an approach even if they normally would be into you. But there not the ones who get set up with a week long stint every time with a girl that I wonder whether she us just there for an all expenses paid trip with any old Joe and unless luck strikes a divine blow is just not into you. I'm not sure if I want to put up with being in that situation again. Some say the odds are 50/50 but I doubt it's at all that high. I wonder if I would be best of going out there for a whole year at some point so I can get to meet loads of woman without time constraints. A bit like bounder but not permentally living out there, well not yet.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Gator

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #9 on: February 21, 2017, 09:45:15 PM »
Trench, if you meet a woman and there is no chemistry, say paka.  Don't stay for a week just because you reserved a week with her. 

I think it would be splendid if you just went  to Ukraine (?) without any set plans for meeting specific women.  Stay for a week or so.  You will have downtime because not every woman will clear her schedule just for you.  And you may spend more money meeting several women than if you met only one sincere woman.    Unless you buy expensive gifts, the money you spend on women will not be significant (just food and tort and tea). 

Quote
    I'm not looking for a woman in the UK it's a complete waste of time....       

This is not a good sign.  I suggest you not volunteeer such info to UW. 


Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2017, 11:03:05 PM »
Trench, if you meet a woman and there is no chemistry, say paka.  Don't stay for a week just because you reserved a week with her. 

I think it would be splendid if you just went  to Ukraine (?) without any set plans for meeting specific women.  Stay for a week or so.  You will have downtime because not every woman will clear her schedule just for you.  And you may spend more money meeting several women than if you met only one sincere woman.    Unless you buy expensive gifts, the money you spend on women will not be significant (just food and tort and tea). 

This is not a good sign.  I suggest you not volunteeer such info to UW.

It's kind of difficult particularly when I've reserved a room in a hotel (if shes from out of town) or her and booked up events which they all seem to want to do and to be honest not doing some stuff with her would be kind of boring. So it would be a real downer if I told her to go/do her own stuff, having already got to know her it would feel real bad. If she lived in city maybe or really not a nice girl bit otherwise I don't think I could bring myself to do it.

I think your suggestion is probably almost bang on though so thank you. I would only alter it by doing two weeks minimum with possibility of extending stay further depending on how things turned out. Basically since it can take a couple of days or so to drum up women or one week might not bear much fruit. If I hit it of with one it would be like, 'ok so I'm leaving tomorrow' which wouldn't be great.

For sure I think I'm best of keeping the UK dating scene as brief and discreet ad possible. The UK scene is basically a waste of time unless your the centre of the party and/or very wealthy. Not many girls even seem up for it, are career obsessed, obese, or are too in demand. I'm pretty sure even the US dating scene would be more vibrant than the UK dating scene - there's little motivation from women here.
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Offline HoundDaddyLee

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #11 on: February 22, 2017, 06:26:46 AM »
Hi Trench,


Gator is giving you great advice. Others, including me, have tried to help you. But you are not going about this in the correct way. Why would you bring in a girl "from out of town" and pay for her room? Go to her town if she interests you. Last (I think it was summer IIRC) you were in Nikolaev and spent considerable time in your hotel room and not out and about walking. I understand you are shy, but the only way to become un-shy is to get out and force yourself to talk to people. Note, I did not say women, I said people. This is activity you can do in the UK starting today. Go out tonight or this weekend to a pub and strike up conversations with people. You start doing that and it will become second nature.


You are much closer to FSU than us in North America. You can take long weekend trips to meet women. But please don't fly in a woman you have never met. If there is no chemistry you are stuck. If Ukraine is the area you want to look plan trips for nearby towns (Odessa-Nikolaev-Kherson, Dniper-Kryvoy Rog-Zap, etc). These are cities that are a couple of hours by car/bus from each other.


By the way, I believe GQBlues is married. Don't go by the users info in listed by their users name. Some, like me, prefer to keep my status private.


Listen, don't listen. But most on here want to see you succeed.


HDL

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #12 on: February 22, 2017, 07:39:53 AM »
Trenchcoat, you would be well advised top NOT listen to the advice you are receiving from other guys here about approaching women.  They don't know what they are talking about.

Most of the guys here are extroverts.  They are limited to knowing how an extrovert approaches women.  They do not have the slightest clue how an introvert approaches women.

If you try to follow their approach, you will not feel comfortable.  It will not be natural for you.  A lady will pick up that you are putting on an act.

I would encourage you to study MBTI.  Learn what your personality type is, and what type matches well with you.  Learn how to recognize MBTI in girls by emailing or skyping.  Ask them questions about how they view view things, and you will be able to start to recognize their personality type.  The "chemistry" people are looking for is largely how compatible your personality types are.  Understanding MBTI will help you understand if you will have chemistry or not, even before you meet.  (It is not a guarantee of relationship success, as morals and values and goals are involved too, but MBTI gives you a good starting point.)

Secondly, forget the stupid nonsense of trying to approach strange women by yourself.  If you are an introvert, do not even consider this.  It seldom works well even when you speak the same language and share a common culture.  Most of the guys here are object oriented (80+% of the population) so if a guy is an idea oriented person, they are going to be looking for an idea oriented girl, which the object oriented guys have learned to dismiss as being strange and they never learned how to pursue.  (I'm not sure if you are object or idea oriented.)  Much of the advice these extroverted guys give is like trying to put a square peg into a round hole - it just doesn't work for introverted guys.

You need a wingman.  I would recommend you hire a translator/guide/matchmaker to help introduce you to women.  You will save yourself a lot of money in the long run by paying a little more upfront by hiring someone.  It will help a lot of you explain MBTI to them, and your personality type, so they can know who to look for to match you with.  (I'm an INTJ - it's a lot easier to screen women if I know to look for an ENFP.  If I look for ENFP's, it eliminates wasting my time on 95% of women.)

If you are introverted and shy, you are going to be looking for a very outgoing girl.  Keep in mind that if you do bring such a girl back to the UK, she is going to bring her outgoing personality back with her.  She is going to depend on you for almost everything at first.  If you are shy and reclusive, it will be very difficult for you to suddenly adapt to all the socializing she is going to want to do.  So you are going to need another wingman back in the UK for her, whether it is your mom or sister or a friend's wife.  You need to have someone who will help take her to places and do things.  Then over time, her and you will both acclimate to each other.  You will be more comfortable doing social stuff with her, and she will develop a larger social net so she doesn't need you to take her everywhere so she can get her socializing fix.

Offline fathertime

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #13 on: February 22, 2017, 08:04:24 AM »
Trenchcoat, you would be well advised top NOT listen to the advice you are receiving from other guys here about approaching women.  They don't know what they are talking about.

Most of the guys here are extroverts.  They are limited to knowing how an extrovert approaches women.  They do not have the slightest clue how an introvert approaches women.

If you try to follow their approach, you will not feel comfortable.  It will not be natural for you.  A lady will pick up that you are putting on an act.

I would encourage you to study MBTI.  Learn what your personality type is, and what type matches well with you.  Learn how to recognize MBTI in girls by emailing or skyping.  Ask them questions about how they view view things, and you will be able to start to recognize their personality type.  The "chemistry" people are looking for is largely how compatible your personality types are.  Understanding MBTI will help you understand if you will have chemistry or not, even before you meet.  (It is not a guarantee of relationship success, as morals and values and goals are involved too, but MBTI gives you a good starting point.)

Secondly, forget the stupid nonsense of trying to approach strange women by yourself.  If you are an introvert, do not even consider this.  It seldom works well even when you speak the same language and share a common culture.  Most of the guys here are object oriented (80+% of the population) so if a guy is an idea oriented person, they are going to be looking for an idea oriented girl, which the object oriented guys have learned to dismiss as being strange and they never learned how to pursue.  (I'm not sure if you are object or idea oriented.)  Much of the advice these extroverted guys give is like trying to put a square peg into a round hole - it just doesn't work for introverted guys.

You need a wingman.  I would recommend you hire a translator/guide/matchmaker to help introduce you to women.  You will save yourself a lot of money in the long run by paying a little more upfront by hiring someone.  It will help a lot of you explain MBTI to them, and your personality type, so they can know who to look for to match you with.  (I'm an INTJ - it's a lot easier to screen women if I know to look for an ENFP.  If I look for ENFP's, it eliminates wasting my time on 95% of women.)

If you are introverted and shy, you are going to be looking for a very outgoing girl.  Keep in mind that if you do bring such a girl back to the UK, she is going to bring her outgoing personality back with her.  She is going to depend on you for almost everything at first.  If you are shy and reclusive, it will be very difficult for you to suddenly adapt to all the socializing she is going to want to do.  So you are going to need another wingman back in the UK for her, whether it is your mom or sister or a friend's wife.  You need to have someone who will help take her to places and do things.  Then over time, her and you will both acclimate to each other.  You will be more comfortable doing social stuff with her, and she will develop a larger social net so she doesn't need you to take her everywhere so she can get her socializing fix.


Very solid thoughts here.


Recognizing your own strengths/weaknesses and shoring up weaknesses like Beefarmer suggested could be very helpful in your specific situation. 


Fathertime! 
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline Gator

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2017, 08:39:20 AM »
If you are introverted and shy, you are going to be looking for a very outgoing girl. 

Bee Farmer, I liked most of your advice, yet this comment seems wrong.  I am mostly extroverted and prefer outgoing women.    Bookworms seem to be happy with another bookworm rather than the life of the party. 

Offline Gator

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #15 on: February 22, 2017, 08:54:14 AM »
Trench, a wingman that B Farmer recommended could possibly work out well for you.  Eduard is such an example.  They are expensive. 

Whatever you decide to do, establish some interim goals and analyze your progress objectively. 

Your comments about UK women is indeed odd.  Take this with a grain of salt - it is not normal to reject all of your peers in such a blanket manner.  There have to be many exceptions, yet you refuse to even try.  Odd!   

I believe if you keep looking you will find someone.  That is the easier part of this journey.  Then comes the most difficult part - building a life together.  She must  adjust to you and to your community, and this is not easy for most women.  Don't forget your adjustment to her.  Considering your personality, I recommend you spend much time with her before she emigrates to the UK. 

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #16 on: February 22, 2017, 08:57:06 AM »
Thanks Bee Farmer, done a MBTI type of test before (career type thing) but wasn't aware it could be used in dating I'll do this one as it's a bit different to previous one and get back to you with the result. For sure I'm on the Introvert side not really shy though only in my teens. Well, you remember right HDL about me being in Nikolaev last summer we were on here then and you were helping me out, I appreciated that. I didn't spend my time stuck in my room after the date went south. I got out and looked around Nikolaev and hung out along their main street. This was more to see what I could learn for next time by seeing how their culture functions. I was only there for about 2-3 days so didn't want to spend my time stuck in the hotel room messaging women in an area known for its 'dating industry girls'. I figured better to go back with proper plan and time allocated next time and to a place preferably easy for a revisit, direct flights and the rest. I think Gator has really answered my question I need to drop the idea of lining one up beforehand and call them up when there. I made a mistake of allowing all to view my profile recently and this has messed up my search. This is what happened the first time and I've been foolish to let it happen again. So will make sure I don't do this again. So HDL is right it's a mistake to fly in girls it just commits you to them for the week and if there is no chemistry then it's a complete mess of a situation. In her home city if you stay there you can walk away much easier (though of course so can she but if it's not right it's probably best even if it doesn't feel great). So I think I'm back on track now so thanks for that guys you've helped out a lot. I'm also learning more abut what girls are often really after through communicating with them online.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline wallm

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #17 on: February 22, 2017, 09:15:54 AM »
Your comments about UK women is indeed odd.  Take this with a grain of salt - it is not normal to reject all of your peers in such a blanket manner.  There have to be many exceptions, yet you refuse to even try.  Odd!

May be he is coming across female versions of Moby and hence his conclusion. I do not blame him for that.  ;D

Offline msmob

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2017, 09:33:17 AM »
Trench

I don't think BeeFarmer is correct to tell you to discount all advice about approaching women from other guys. ( well except wallm ( Jeez, Sorry, Gator - just saw my howler )  having just read his last post :)   )

I AM an extrovert - but when it came to dating - I cannot just walk up to ladies in a club or sunbathing on the beach .. I always like to believe they are there to enjoy themselves without being pestered by blokes..:)

ALL my initial contacting was therefore done by email / internal messaging system of a dating site.

I think ALL the recent advice you're getting is sound.

I lived in Cyprus and invited ladies to me.  It's supposed to be a 'no-no' - but given a choice of going to Siberia in December - when Cyprus was freakishly warm - it was a no brainer ...   I was taking the same 'risk' as a lady receiving you as visitor in her home city ..If it didn't work out .. I'd be showing a guest around ..  In those days Russians could get a CY visa free of charge and even online...

OK, I ended up meeting my soon to be ex-Wife and let's not forget what this thread is all about ... It was quite fun having to produce a sample for the STD tests - I had help on hand ..... if you pardon the pun ...




 
« Last Edit: February 22, 2017, 03:23:31 PM by msmob »

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #19 on: February 22, 2017, 10:28:57 AM »
Then how come you're still on this board if you're no longer looking for a FSW? I know some guys go on this journey after already being married or had a family with good social skills, guys like that can pick up often. I'm not one of then unfortunately but I still think there is scope here as gator even jone says there can be someone out there for everyone. Take that guy on that docu-film 'love me' he was 45 years old, never had a girlfriend, had met 35-50 odd women in the FSU and still no joy. He didn't come across as particularly socially skilled nor wealthy, but he managed to get someone, 15 years his junior. So it's possible, you can have good fun along the way along with any problems of course.

Trenchie-

First- I am happily married to, and with, a wonderful woman from Russia for almost 13 years now. She is that one special exception I noted on my post above.

I’m coming from an angle likely much different than most, if not all of the men in this experience. I didn’t engage in the MOB for whatever reasons most men felt or have stated in these boards. I never really had any problem meeting and enjoying the company of the women available for me in my immediate surrounding. Absolutely no complaints. I love everything about AWs and all the bitch water they enjoy consuming everyday. I still believe America has, collectively, the most beautiful women in the world.

For me.

But that was the problem for me. It was that very reason I had an immensely difficult time staying in a relationship before. I was enjoying AWs/women way too much. I could be with the most sought-after woman in the neighborhood – and I have more than a few times before – but always somewhere in the back of my mind, I was fully convinced I was missing out on meeting another ‘babe’ by sticking with one gal. I was feverishly longing on kissing new lips, caressing a new body, spoon someone different, showering with someone new, watching someone new undress before me, etc.. Why? Because it was so darn easy to do. It's that Forrest Gump's box of chocolate syndrome. I had full easy access to more than a few boxes. I was addicted to the chase. My life became a series of catch-and-release. I couldn’t commit.

When I also got involved and started meeting/dating crosstown/state/country, etc…either from tourists I meet here, AOL chatrooms (remember that?) vacations I took, business trips, etc…it was becoming apparent to me that there’s that added ‘excitement’ of longing for someone. My mind gets so riled up in anticipation, smell that woman again, stroke her hair again, feel her warmth, etc…you get the idea. It didn't matter if it's western Europe, South America, Canada, central Europe. I started noticing how I would gravitate towards a more-lasting 'spellbound'. Then, there was Russia. Meeting those women from Russia were as easy as meeting and dealing with any other women – in MY own terms (I can tell you what those RWs *were doing for me* before I even met them in person. It will counter-blast away all the crap you read from what most men here are telling you in how to deal and court a FSUW. They are silly, confining *rules* and are mostly borderline absurd! Women are women!).

In short, I felt I needed a challenge. I wanted to work for a solid relationship. I wanted someone who will be the only reason why I would expend an effort and treasure for the rest of my life. I needed to earn someone’s love, respect and devotion.

Second – I am NOT a good-looking guy. I am NOT rich. I came from a very impoverished background. Whatever I did have and possess, I made darn sure I made the most of it.

Now this is where YOU come in. The single most important trait any person can have is ‘confidence’. Most everything you’ll do in life requires a massive dose of confidence. I know my playing days would not have happened had I not been as confident into believing that when I walked in any room that I will be the focus of most, if not all, of the women inside. The truth is, it didn’t have to be true. I just needed to be confident in that belief. Once you find your way in this, then that is when you get in the ‘zone’. Trust me on this, you will be able to walk to the most beautiful woman in the room and know your chances of ‘owning’ her is better than good. Women intuitively loves confident men with absolute certainty.

How do you do this? How do you get there? Easy. Explore all the things Trenchie is good at, and start with being really honest with yourself. Use that acceptance to its fullest potential until it begins to permeate into everything else you do in your life. I don’t care whether you’re a writer, an athlete, a geek, a carpenter, etc…just understand you’re good at this and very likely is MUCH BETTER at it than most. Feel that sense of superiority without the arrogance. Understand and appreciate your *personal value* and dwell on that without being over-bearing. Trust me, trust me, trust me – all other facets of your life will be so much easier to deal with – especially in interacting with women.

You will need this ‘trained trait’ EVEN MORE when you’ve finally convinced someone to share a life with you, than when you were once chasing her before. You don’t have that confidence in yourself, you'll find that even you won’t be able to stand yourself, much less someone else. And that's when you start living your life blaming everyone else for your personal shortcomings.

Remember, at this stage of your ‘pursuit’, understand that this IS the EASY/FUN part. The tough part will be ahead of you. Life and challenges of finally getting someone to share a life with you is when you really need to have your sh!t together, cause otherwise your ass will easily fall apart - if you're lacking that belief in yourself.

DO NOT OVERREACH and start doing things that isn't *you* during your search. Because, whatever you resolve to do, outside of yourself, to ease and aid in your search - you will not be able to maintain it when you finally get married. It will always come back in you being 'you'. Alone. Again. NATURALLY.
« Last Edit: February 22, 2017, 11:36:35 AM by GQBlues »
Quote from: msmob
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2. The 2018 Camp Fire and Woolsey California wildfires are forests burning because of global warming.
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #20 on: February 22, 2017, 01:14:00 PM »
There is no way, that in a population of over 60 million, all eligible females are fat or uninterested in relationships/marriage.  I state this only because Trench, you need to be honest with yourself.  There is nothing wrong in seeking a woman from abroad, but if don't have any success with women from your own country, chances are  you will not be successful with foreign women either, and it's not because they are all scammers.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline LiveFromUkraine

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #21 on: February 22, 2017, 01:31:12 PM »
There is no way, that in a population of over 60 million, all eligible females are fat or uninterested in relationships/marriage.  I state this only because Trench, you need to be honest with yourself.  There is nothing wrong in seeking a woman from abroad, but if don't have any success with women from your own country, chances are  you will not be successful with foreign women either, and it's not because they are all scammers.


I agree with Bo on this.  The one thing I have learned that made me much happier was to push myself outside my comfort zone.  If I am not achieving something, I try to find what I can change to make it happen.  Many times pushing myself to make the necessary changes helped me to achieve what I wanted.  That and the personal growth that came along with pushing my boundaries.


Personally, I prefer dating locally after being in a relationship with a woman from Ukraine.  It's just easier even when it isn't easy.  :P


I never had a problem dating women I found attractive.  Maybe I am just lucky.  I seem to have always dated out of my league.  Which isn't difficult.  haha  Maybe some of ya'll are just too handsome for your own good.  ;)
« Last Edit: February 22, 2017, 01:40:07 PM by LiveFromUkraine »

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #22 on: February 22, 2017, 05:20:35 PM »
Put it this way guys, I can fire off a load of email on Match in the UK and get no response. Same with Tinder and other dating stuff. I have been to Speed Dating events four times and no joy. I have been to two singles evenings an no joy. I am not alone in this many other guys in the UK report the same. None/very few of the other guys at the speed dating event were getting any joy either. This is apparently typical that 20 odd guys can turn up to these events and no joy. So all these apparently single girls turn up to these speed dating events yet despite there single status wish to snub all guys there. Believe me most of the guys there looked and acted normal enough apart from the odd one and the same was true on the girls side.

Yet on MOB sites even free ones I get a he'll of a lot more response. Even something like Mamba that is kind of local dating I get more respose not loads but the odd few. I've got to meet a girl who I got on well for the whole week. UK I managed to meet one girl of there and we met for one day and got on ok ish this apparently isn't doing bad for Match dating. So why the difference? If not a cultural, environment and/or demographic one.

Women just are'nt driven to get into relationships with guys like they used to its all careers, etc these days in the UK. I think many on here jump to the wrong impression of me. Yes I am introvert and not real socially skilled but I can communicate and confident enough doing this. For sure I can't compete with an energetic socially skilled type they would race way ahead of me. But I'm not exactly a complete socially inept buffoon either. I know there are certain things you should and shouldn't do, how to act appropriately, try to communicate at appropriate time, to not bore on (well hopefully) watch how the recipient reponds to what I am saying, be mindful to be tactful in my dealings with others, others emotions/feelings avoiding hurtful comments, etc.

At this point I really do think it's getting to grips fully with the FSU dating scene. I've only been twice so it's still early days since as we know few strike home first time in this game.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline LiveFromUkraine

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #23 on: February 22, 2017, 06:07:19 PM »
Put it this way guys, I can fire off a load of email on Match in the UK and get no response. Same with Tinder and other dating stuff. I have been to Speed Dating events four times and no joy. I have been to two singles evenings an no joy. I am not alone in this many other guys in the UK report the same. None/very few of the other guys at the speed dating event were getting any joy either. This is apparently typical that 20 odd guys can turn up to these events and no joy. So all these apparently single girls turn up to these speed dating events yet despite there single status wish to snub all guys there. Believe me most of the guys there looked and acted normal enough apart from the odd one and the same was true on the girls side.



I don't know man, but online and speed dating sounds like it would be a terrible way to meet women. 
« Last Edit: February 22, 2017, 06:17:43 PM by LiveFromUkraine »

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Finding a Girl in your subject area? Is it best?
« Reply #24 on: February 22, 2017, 06:36:48 PM »

I don't know man, but online and speed dating sounds like it would be a terrible way to meet women.

Am I not meeting women online with MOB dating sites :-\

Point is I get a lot more interest from MOB dating sites than I do with UK internet dating.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

 

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