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Author Topic: Initiate conversation with her  (Read 38491 times)

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Offline Dell

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #100 on: July 22, 2017, 04:19:25 PM »
I think making the move will not be to difficult for me because (я говорю немного по русски). :)
« Last Edit: July 22, 2017, 04:23:26 PM by Dell »

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #101 on: July 22, 2017, 10:33:42 PM »
I think making the move will not be to difficult for me because (я говорю немного по русски). :)

You copied that from me!  :D ... except that I had it in a different order (немного говорю)

Offline Dell

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #102 on: July 23, 2017, 07:14:09 AM »
You copied that from me!  :D ... except that I had it in a different order (немного говорю)

AnotherKiwi, how long have you been studying Russian? I've been studying for about 9 months.

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #103 on: July 23, 2017, 07:23:20 AM »
IIRC, in Russian the adverb must precede the verb it refers to:

You will pay dearly for your treachery. >:( 
Ты дорого заплатишь за свое предательство. 8)
Milan's "Duomo"

Offline BillyB

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #104 on: July 23, 2017, 08:42:09 AM »
1: I had to cancel a trip becuase of work, and I wouldn't have been able to see her for over 6 months.


I'm sure you told her, like you told us, that you can work from anywhere in the world. The above quote makes it sound as if you lied because works ties you down to one place. Being the MAN, you need to figure out how to get with your woman. You're in SE Asia now. Surely you could've gotten her a visa to come visit you or at least a visa to a country next door even for a short weekend visit. She may also suspect you chose SE Asia to live and work because that is where a lot of "Me so horny" girls are at.

2: I wasn't 100% sure I want to have kids.


Failure to communicate. This is one of the earlier things you talk about with the ladies. Deal breaker topics need to be discussed before both parties waste months or even years of their lives trying to build a relationship. One guy here and his girl wasted over a year of his life because they both failed to discuss the issue of children. She wanted children and he was fixed and couldn't have any more children. A year past and they were headed towards marriage until the talk about children came up.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #105 on: July 23, 2017, 04:12:19 PM »
AnotherKiwi, how long have you been studying Russian? I've been studying for about 9 months.

I'm not.  I took a night-school course before my first trip, and did a bit of a refresher before my second, but that's it.  I learnt enough to get by (my teacher called it "survival Russian"), and it certainly proved its worth, but I wouldn't try to properly learn the language unless I was going to live there.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #106 on: July 23, 2017, 05:40:48 PM »
IIRC, in Russian the adverb must precede the verb it refers to:

You will pay dearly for your treachery. >:( 
Ты дорого заплатишь за свое предательство. 8)

No, Slavic languages are pretty free with word placement. The adverb could even be at the end of the sentence.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Boethius

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #107 on: July 23, 2017, 06:52:20 PM »
I should add, the ordering of words is often done to emphasize a point. It's very nuanced, though of course second nature to native speakers. It conveys a slightly different understanding.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #108 on: July 23, 2017, 06:54:33 PM »
No, Slavic languages are pretty free with word placement. The adverb could even be at the end of the sentence.
Well, maybe it's a grammar rule that no longer applies :-\:
Quote
placement of adverbs in a sentence (before the verb they modify),
http://masterrussian.com/adverbs/Russian_Adverbs.htm
Quote
In Russian, adverbs are usually placed before the verb they modify.
http://masterrussian.com/adverbs/introduction.htm
Milan's "Duomo"

Offline Dell

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #109 on: July 23, 2017, 11:16:33 PM »
I'm sure you told her, like you told us, that you can work from anywhere in the world. The above quote makes it sound as if you lied because works ties you down to one place. Being the MAN, you need to figure out how to get with your woman. You're in SE Asia now. Surely you could've gotten her a visa to come visit you or at least a visa to a country next door even for a short weekend visit. She may also suspect you chose SE Asia to live and work because that is where a lot of "Me so horny" girls are at.

I know you don't know me at all, but I'm always completely honest with woman and don't BS them. Becuase in the end the truth always comes out.
She knew from the beginning I couldn't  move from SEA for a year and a half. Due to a contract I'm under right now. But after that I could move to her country.  I know I'm being a little vague here about what I do. If you would like to know more just pm.

Failure to communicate. This is one of the earlier things you talk about with the ladies. Deal breaker topics need to be discussed before both parties waste months or even years of their lives trying to build a relationship. One guy here and his girl wasted over a year of his life because they both failed to discuss the issue of children. She wanted children and he was fixed and couldn't have any more children. A year past and they were headed towards marriage until the talk about children came up.

This wasn't a huge issue for her. She thought a would eventually decide to have them, also I was completely opposed to not having them.

There were some other issues of course.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2017, 11:19:57 PM by Dell »

Offline Jumper

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #110 on: July 24, 2017, 09:29:13 PM »
I deleted my account on that site, because I trust what you guys are telling me. I am still communicating with four woman. One I have already meet on my first trip. She was amazing. We had a great time and really clicked. she wanted to move the relationship to the next phase. But I wasn't ready. I know I'm an idiot. I guess I was shocked, I meet someone on my first trip like that, and was thinking maybe to hold out and see if something better comes along.

Also I will only talk with women that are no more than ten years younger than me. Any thing pass that, I'm not interested. If your wondering I'm in my early 40s. No kids.

So, on her case the communication was fine?but you weren't ready for moving the relationship forward.
Kid in the candy store syndrome?
Not trying to beat you up over it, but it's quite possible that vibe is going out to more than just that girl you basically distanced yourself from.

 Their perception is pretty well polished,and the importance of sincerity ,while always pretty important if a serious woman, is heightened  with a foreigner.
  You clicked with that woman for some reason, others you havnt, some others you likely will it seems that simple to me, not cultural. 

 I never had much trouble on the communication side, if a rw likes you, it's the opposite problem, your ears may fall off.

At any rate, good luck
.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #111 on: July 24, 2017, 10:03:55 PM »
I know you don't know me at all, but I'm always completely honest with woman and don't BS them. Becuase in the end the truth always comes out.
She knew from the beginning I couldn't  move from SEA for a year and a half. Due to a contract I'm under right now. But after that I could move to her country.  I know I'm being a little vague here about what I do. If you would like to know more just pm.


Nobody is 100% honest. We all lie and we even lie to ourselves about who we are. But we are all still capable of gaining trust. Trust has to be earned. You are tied down by contract for a year and a half yet your job is flexible enough for you to do it anywhere in the world. I don't need to know what you do but tied down and flexible contradicts each other no matter how you look at it.

There were some other issues of course.


Maybe you two weren't meant to be. I still think if you tried hard enough, you could make arraignments for her to come visit you in SE Asia. I have a business. I hate it when people come to me with excuses instead of a solution. RW like men with solutions.

Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Dell

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #112 on: July 25, 2017, 12:16:51 AM »
So, on her case the communication was fine?but you weren't ready for moving the relationship forward.
Kid in the candy store syndrome?

No... not even close. It's interesting how people on this forum think FSUW have this mythical six sense. I was married to a Russian for six years. Also I have a few Russian and Ukraine friends. I have spent time in Belarus, Ukraine and Russian. But that's not my perception of FSUW. They are definitely have a different mentality do to their culture, and that what attracts me to them.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 02:26:13 AM by Dell »

Offline Dell

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #113 on: July 25, 2017, 12:36:18 AM »
Nobody is 100% honest. We all lie and we even lie to ourselves about who we are. But we are all still capable of gaining trust. Trust has to be earned. You are tied down by contract for a year and a half yet your job is flexible enough for you to do it anywhere in the world. I don't need to know what you do but tied down and flexible contradicts each other no matter how you look at it.

Maybe you two weren't meant to be. I still think if you tried hard enough, you could make arraignments for her to come visit you in SE Asia. I have a business. I hate it when people come to me with excuses instead of a solution. RW like men with solutions.

BillyB,

Yes we all lie... but I was not talking about the stupid little white lies we tell people. She new about the contract from the beginning so that wasn't an issue. At this time no I can't move right away you're right.  I do have a profession that does allow me to conducted my job anywhere in the world. I just recently signed a contract to do a job in SEA for a little while. After that I am free to move anywhere I want an continue doing my job.
 

I had a solution... before I meet her I had a trip planned to meet my parents in Paris in October. She knew about it when we first meet. I invited her on the trip becuase I wanted her to meet them.

I thought this was a good solution. 

 



« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 01:35:50 AM by Dell »

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #114 on: July 25, 2017, 01:35:25 AM »

I had a solution... before I meet her I had a trip planned to meet my parents in Paris in October. She knew about it when we first meet. I invited her on the trip becuase I wanted her to meet them.

I thought this was a good solution. 😂

Was it not? I suggested to my girl we live in Cyprus thinking she would jump at the chance, particularly after seeing how many Russians there were there and she seemed to get on well with those she met, but no it was a no go for her.

I'm thinking unless she has a real good reason it looks suspicious particularly since many FSW seem particularly taken by the idea of holidays abroad.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline msmob

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #115 on: July 25, 2017, 03:01:06 AM »
So, Trench - you suggested living in Cyprus ?  How were you going to earn, there ?  You have already told us you couldn't live there - "your pale skin" ..   Why weren't you being honest with her ?


Offline Dell

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #116 on: July 25, 2017, 06:04:51 AM »
Was it not? I suggested to my girl we live in Cyprus thinking she would jump at the chance, particularly after seeing how many Russians there were there and she seemed to get on well with those she met, but no it was a no go for her.

I'm thinking unless she has a real good reason it looks suspicious particularly since many FSW seem particularly taken by the idea of holidays abroad.

Yes & No...lol. We talked today for awhile. We'll see where it goes. 

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #117 on: July 25, 2017, 07:31:40 AM »
So, Trench - you suggested living in Cyprus ?  How were you going to earn, there ?  You have already told us you couldn't live there - "your pale skin" ..   Why weren't you being honest with her ?

Oh Moby you're so pedantic. I had thought of it being a possibility for us living there before we arrived although not when I originally suggested a holiday there (she just said she would like a beach holiday but not the idea of taking it in Ukraine). It later dawned on me that it could be the perfect place for both of us (even before we got there). I read online that English and Russian languages are present. I did not realise until I got there that both are widely spoken to the point that for many seems interchangeable - kind of like English, Russian & Greek all seemingly used as the official language which apparently is just supposed to be Greek (Turkish in the North of course).

Anyway, I thought I would give her a day or so to get acclimatized. She was eager to hear how we could be together in future. At this point she had started to come into contact with several Russians though not as many as later as we had just still kind of at the beginning of the holiday. I thought she would go for the idea or it least be an option/considered but she was not at all keen - basically it was not what she wanted to hear, she wants just to come to UK it seems. At this point I knew the sun was hot and was taking shade when & where I could but I did not realise I would burn so quickly & easily - sure there are worse people around no doubt for burning - I have brown hair but those with fair or ginger hair tend to have even fairer more delicate skin than me. So to them I would not recommend Cyprus in the summer. At any rate you did say yourself Moby that its been hotter than the usual hot heat out there. So yes its a bit off putting in that way, I would still not rule it out completely, we both liked Cyprus despite her not wanting to live there, strange :-\ She particualalry like Limmasol as young girl & more happening, felloe Russian speakers, etc. I liked Limassol but preferred Paphos, more quint, fellow Brits so familiar but not the chavy English Football T-shirt kind :) so good for me.

At no point was I not being honest with her, at the time I fully wanted to move there with her. I saw that it was both English and Russian speaking so getting jobs could be possible there. I do not care what job I do so long as I have the family lifestyle and am in nice surroundings. Also, I noticed along the way that I could work it so in Cyprus I have more protection of my assets in divorce ;) Maybe she saw the same, lol After the holiday she was dead against the idea even though we both enjoyed it, she likes sunbathing, got on well with Russian speakers, nice new shopping malls there, etc.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline msmob

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #118 on: July 25, 2017, 08:54:58 AM »
Trench .. with every post you just compound your folly....

Now you know about getting divorced in Cyprus before getting married?!


Unlike you...having married in Cyprus I *do* know about divorce there and you are full of it... How many folk do you know who have been /  are getting divorced there? Believe me...you are better off in the UK..

Now we come to you asking someone you have met once  about living in a place you hadn't seen,yet?

MADNESS... 

This lady must wonder what planet you are on...

Reason for edit: written in direct sunlight 75m from a Russian watchtower on THE border with 'Abkhazia' ( Georgia)  - couldn't see  the screen



« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 01:03:04 PM by msmob »

Offline Jumper

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #119 on: July 25, 2017, 09:22:11 AM »
No... not even close. It's interesting how people on this forum think FSUW have this mythical six sense. I was married to a Russian for six years. Also I have a few Russian and Ukraine friends. I have spent time in Belarus, Ukraine and Russian. But that's not my perception of FSUW. They are definitely have a different mentality do to their culture, and that what attracts me to them.

Ok, you have plenty of experience, so im not sure why the communication issues you originally asked about.
I havnt run into that issue and have both lived over there and been around the culture or married to a rw for a couple decades.

Your own words before, stated you likely where a bit too quick to  look for others, when you had one you clicked with. No big deal, and you've found another woman of interest to you since that post it seems. Great!

For what it's worth, my wife doesn't really like fsu culture and sees it's positives, and it's many negatives.she much prefers,western culture so assimilation was much easier.
  We still see the stereotypical new immigrant hating everything here and going thru culture shock, she used to try to help but most of the time it's a negative mentality at the root, that doesn't want to evaluate the differences good and bad of either culture, so she's found its not worth tying to help most of the time,if the rw already has that mindset..just how it is.

As far as offering a trip to Paris as a compromise if opportunity to.meet, if your romantic interstate isn't interested in such I'd advise move on.
  If a woman isnt that interested, I never wasted much time, a new bus comes by every 15 minutes,no need to have any difficulties.
.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #120 on: July 25, 2017, 07:54:57 PM »
I had a solution... before I meet her I had a trip planned to meet my parents in Paris in October. She knew about it when we first meet. I invited her on the trip becuase I wanted her to meet them.

I thought this was a good solution.


Still doesn't make a woman feel she's the priority. You can't go and meet her alone but you have time to meet your parents.

In April you were 6 months into this endeavor and have made two trips. You planned on going to the FSU in June and you made that trip and concluded the lady is a wonderful woman....then things fell apart.

You said she knew about your work and you had to cancel a trip and won't be able to see her for over 6 months due to being tied down for work. Then you tell her you will go on a trip to see your parents in October which is 3 months away and said you can meet her there. I'm not going to accuse you of lying but you're not making sense or you're having problems with basic math. Big difference between 3 months and over 6 months.

It doesn't bother me what you said to the lady. Men have said all kinds of things to get into their pants or make excuses why they can't see them soon after having sex with them the first time. But for a lady who is thinking about living their life with you, she will look more closely at what you say and will tolerate less BS. Things that don't make sense or excuses why you two can't be together is harmful to the relationship. If you told your lady what you told us, you may have receive pushback for this and put your relationship on the fast track to destruction.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Dell

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #121 on: July 25, 2017, 10:10:58 PM »

Still doesn't make a woman feel she's the priority. You can't go and meet her alone but you have time to meet your parents.

In April you were 6 months into this endeavor and have made two trips. You planned on going to the FSU in June and you made that trip and concluded the lady is a wonderful woman....then things fell apart.

You said she knew about your work and you had to cancel a trip and won't be able to see her for over 6 months due to being tied down for work. Then you tell her you will go on a trip to see your parents in October which is 3 months away and said you can meet her there. I'm not going to accuse you of lying but you're not making sense or you're having problems with basic math. Big difference between 3 months and over 6 months.

It doesn't bother me what you said to the lady. Men have said all kinds of things to get into their pants or make excuses why they can't see them soon after having sex with them the first time. But for a lady who is thinking about living their life with you, she will look more closely at what you say and will tolerate less BS. Things that don't make sense or excuses why you two can't be together is harmful to the relationship. If you told your lady what you told us, you may have receive pushback for this and put your relationship on the fast track to destruction.

BillyB,

Your right my math was off. I got back from trip in early June. So June to October is 5 months...not six.

To clarify I told her about the trip right when we meet. Like I said this trip was preplanned. I haven't  seen my parents for two years. I wasn't going to cancel a trip to visit them. I invited her along. If she doesnt wants to move forward with our relationship so be it. There are plenty of good woman out there. I don't know about you, but family is very important to me!


« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 10:16:36 PM by Dell »

Offline jone

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #122 on: July 25, 2017, 11:06:45 PM »
BillyB,

Your right my math was off. I got back from trip in early June. So June to October is 5 months...not six.

To clarify I told her about the trip right when we meet. Like I said this trip was preplanned. I haven't  seen my parents for two years. I wasn't going to cancel a trip to visit them. I invited her along. If she doesnt wants to move forward with our relationship so be it. There are plenty of good woman out there. I don't know about you, but family is very important to me!

Atta boy, Dell. 

Any serious FSUW would jump at the chance to meet future inlaws.   Count to 100.  Another beautiful woman just walked by.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline JayH

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #123 on: July 25, 2017, 11:27:25 PM »
I should add, the ordering of words is often done to emphasize a point. It's very nuanced, though of course second nature to native speakers. It conveys a slightly different understanding.

This should be a thread in itself .
This very point is one I have seen lead to misunderstandings of what is being said.
In the same way an English sentence can have the entire intent altered  a precise  translation can easily be misunderstood.

Understanding a few words is not speaking the language .
That is why guys( & girls) learning will take years of constant exposure to really "learn".  And why those that come here just starting to learn will never get competent enough to ever understand more than the very basics .
My strongest recommendation --learn the alphabet -- that is the basis of making life easier in the FSU today.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 11:32:43 PM by JayH »
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline BillyB

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Re: Initiate conversation with her
« Reply #124 on: July 26, 2017, 05:49:56 AM »
Your right my math was off. I got back from trip in early June. So June to October is 5 months...not six.


If October is 3 months away from July, October is 4 months away from June.

To clarify I told her about the trip right when we meet. Like I said this trip was preplanned. I haven't  seen my parents for two years. I wasn't going to cancel a trip to visit them. I invited her along. If she doesnt wants to move forward with our relationship so be it. There are plenty of good woman out there. I don't know about you, but family is very important to me!


Parents are important to you but you haven't seen them in two years and made 3 trips to different women in less than 6 months. Doesn't make sense.

You weren't going to cancel a trip to visit your parents but you cancelled a trip to this woman and claimed she knew prior you couldn't get away from work. Doesn't make sense.

My son worked for me in construction during summertime. He's in college. Sometimes he'll come late blaming car problems or the alarm didn't wake him up. In front of other employees I told him all excuses are BS. Doesn't matter if they're true or not, it's all BS. I can forgive some BS but if I get too much, they'll be out of a job. Same goes in relationships. I can't handle too much BS and drama. Careful how you handle your next woman. FSU women have a tough life. They don't have much room for BS compared to their American counterparts.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

 

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