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Author Topic: Update - 13 years later  (Read 213079 times)

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Offline fathertime

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #475 on: December 22, 2013, 09:13:36 AM »
Thanks FatherTime

Now getting back to my story,,,
A short summarry of what happened so far:
Met with Kiev33 and then Kiev32 when arriving in Kiev.
After a business meeting in Kharkov I met with Kharkov32
Have arrived at Lena's parents in Dnieprodzherzhinsk, where I will be staying for a few days.
We are finished with dinner, and I will drive to Dniepropetrovsk for a date in the evening.

Dniepropetrovsk36 is supposed to meet with me at the French Carousel in the European Square at 19.00

I park my car in the parking lot across Prospect Karl Marx, a few minutes to 19.00 and walk over to the French Carousel.
Picking up my phone, I call her,,,, she speaks no English, but I do understand this at least: ya budu tam cherez djecit minut.
Meaning,,, she will be here in 10 minutes, (or usually within 10 - 50 min. for a Ukraine woman)

Then I feel it safe to turn on my "number 2" phone and make a call to my long time favorite Kirhovorad32.
I was unable to get in touch with her while driving here, and she is waiting for my call about our meeting tomorrow.
Heaven might fall down in hell, if I'm unable to get hold of her before Dniepropetrovsk36 arrives here.

More later.....
Well NK, I sorta lost track of this aspect of your story through all the other garbage.  So it appears you are meeting some ladies now...what have you thought of some of the other ladies you met such as kiev 32 and kiev33....did they appear to be interested in you...did you have much interest in any of them? 


Fathertime! 
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline mies

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #476 on: December 22, 2013, 10:03:37 AM »
My only word of caution is that it is not necessary to be condescending and dismissive of those who do not speak the language and /or are late to taking an interest in Ukraine. I am sure that both NorthKape and I can tell you things  Ukraine related that neither MrsB or Mies knows about!! :)

Thank you for your story, Jay.
I am curious to hear these things about Ukraine ;-)

Offline lonedrake

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #477 on: December 22, 2013, 08:28:53 PM »
Quote
kiev 32 and kiev33....did they appear to be interested in you...did you have much interest in any of them?


 I am sorry father time....but you make me laugh :welcome:

 Did you not read what northkape wrote in previous posts?

 

Offline fathertime

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #478 on: December 23, 2013, 09:58:15 AM »

 I am sorry father time....but you make me laugh :welcome:

 Did you not read what northkape wrote in previous posts?


hehe, well i guess i've lost track of what happened or is happening with the ladies NK is meeting.


Fathertime! 
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline Muzh

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #479 on: December 23, 2013, 11:40:51 AM »
Thanks again for taking your time Bo

Under that definition, many eight year olds are equal to adults.

Yes, and if you belived in that, you would prefer to choose your own partner by the scale of social equality,
and vote for an eight year old running for president.
You clearly do understand Bo, that the traits alone doesn't a personality make.

So, no need to belittle what qualities I'm looking for, in the woman I want to have beside me.

Whatever amount of ambitions an eight year old might have,,
he still hasn't acquired the necessary knowledge and reason for building an abstract platform, where to envision his future achievements.
Even though he is equally ambitious there in't much of value for an adult to discuss with him.

Everyone, including me, assumes they are the exception to the general rule.

Not everyone Bo, only those willing to forfeit reason and logic in the face of feelings.
However populated mankind's history is with such people, you will not find my name in there.

Whatever you tell me Bo, I will not agree about Ukraine being even close to the level of third world countries, as in Africa.

In countries where a substantial and unknown amount of the economy goes below the radar, the Official GDP numbers have less than artificial value.

The glitz and glamour of Kyiv
No way do I want a pissing match about who knows the most about Ukraine so I will only state my opinion once.
In my opinion, I know as much about Ukraine as almost anyone living there,
having been together with people from the Elite level corrupts in the main cities,
down to the poorest of the poor living in the most remote villages of Ukraine.
And driving myself, across almost every part of Ukraine numerous times in the last 13 years.

I was referring to the difficulty of life
You know what Bo,,, I really don't believe in that when placing it in this context.

If you are fighting for a position when climbing the ladder, no one are going to step aside and offer you the place.
You will have to fight to the absolute ability of every nerve in your body as long as you are awake.
And you are fighting with other humans that will do exactly the same, using every trick ever invented by mankind, to make you slip and fall.
Wether you are in Los Angeles, in Oslo or in Kiev the game is the same, there are similar written and unwritten rules for all players to follow.
All participants are still only humans that have the same 24 hours a day available for using as fit.

I sat at the sidelines 30 years ago watching my lady fighting her way from serving coffee to become "Business Woman Of The Year" in Norway.
And I have Lena sleeping in the bed beside me, totally exhausted every day of the week from fighting the same game on her way up.

But in general, I truly admire the women I meet with in Ukraine for being able to support a family on their own, working almost constantly every single hour of their life.

Ukrainians are well educated, certainly as well, if not better educated, than many of their Western counterparts.  I had hoped, on the collapse of communism, that the country would flourish, with a rule of law by now, and a standard of living similar to that of some Western countries.  I also assumed, after the collapse, that the suppressed arts would flourish, that there would be a burst of artistic creativity in all spheres.  Instead, I read newspapers full of basic grammatical errors, suggesting the reporters' and editors' diplomas were purchased rather than earned, no interesting authors have emerged, and most of the musical artists are churning out rehashed Soviet pop tunes, or the same Europop.  The country is ruled by the former ruling class who now, instead of being committed to communism, are corrupt oligarchs who live with no rule of law, not a care about how the populace they are elected to serve live, and no Moscow to control the worst of their avaricious impulses.

Bo,,, these are similar to my own thoughts 13 years ago, sitting behind the steering wheel of my own car, watching thousands of kilometers disappear at my side.
I remember very well, telling Lena to look closely at her own Ukraine, when passing by, because in a few years time it would all change it's face.
Looking back, I was quite a bit too optimistic about that.... smile

 
Nei nei nei, this is my bubble and you may not deflate it.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Muzh

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #480 on: December 23, 2013, 11:45:22 AM »
]

For the sake of others-- I will repeat what I have said previously and alluded to above. There are specific things Ukraine within my exposure  that  you know--or knew very little of -eg the mob and agency business-reference you agreeing with unesteemed member resident in Estonia and being prepared to dispute it with others on forum -some who were referencing first hand anecdotes from now wives-- who had in fact lived in Ukraine far more recently than you.
Let me give another example --- in response to a forum question( by LT as it it happens) as to how to get from a Ukraine city ( not far from where you came from :) ) -- a lady member!! advised a convoluted cross country route of bus and train connections   to Kharkov.It was in winter and would have involved considerable time waiting around etc.
I suggested--the best and EASIEST way was to train/bus direct back to Kiev and catch express train to Kharkov.
For that simple common sense advice (which I stand by until this day)  I was assailed by forum fools and bag carriers whose assertion was I would not have a clue etc and that "lady" had far more knowledge of Ukraine than me etc
Of course-- you  still think I have never been there so not much I can say about that.
Your question is answered- please do not divert this thread. :)

 
I'm still waiting for you tell the natives how wrong they are because YOU have been there and therefore KNOW what is going on.
 
I guess a few more posts down the line?
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline Muzh

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #481 on: December 23, 2013, 11:50:10 AM »

I read the beginning of this post. I'm surprised to read this. I do not think that would be one of your list ... What do you think about the fact that someone from the women on your list, she will come to meet you and to meet again with 20 men in your city? It is possible that I either obsolete or I just do not understand something.

No you are not obsolete. But then again, you are not playing a game.
 
As an aside, I wish I could go over to your house and show you how to use the quote function.  ;D
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline jone

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #482 on: December 23, 2013, 12:16:38 PM »
Could you also show me how to get full size pictures to appear in the middle of the post.  Sorry.  I'm not as computer literate as many on this forum.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Muzh

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #483 on: December 23, 2013, 12:33:08 PM »
Could you also show me how to get full size pictures to appear in the middle of the post.  Sorry.  I'm not as computer literate as many on this forum.

Subscribe to photobucket, flicker or something similar where you store photos and do that. The servive will give you options for copying the location of the photo in their storage area. Copy the link and then click on the Mona Lisa icon when you are replying ot quoting which is used to insert image and paste the photobucket, flicker, etc. location and voila.
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine - The American Crisis 1776-1783

Offline lonedrake

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #484 on: December 23, 2013, 08:26:47 PM »
Quote
Could you also show me how to get full size pictures to appear in the middle of the post.

Jon...thats funny. I did spend a couple hours one day trying to make this work....and I was successful.....but now I can not remember how I did it.

Like Muzh says...you must transfer the pics to a place like photobucket first.

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #485 on: December 24, 2013, 07:07:07 AM »
Could you also show me how to get full size pictures to appear in the middle of the post.
Supplementing what Muzh wrote, those must be stored ANYWHERE on the 'Net:

- Right-click the photo
- The resulting context menu will show, among others, an option like "Copy Image Address"
- Paste it into your post
- Select it and click the "Insert Image" icon
 
Voilŕ!
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Online northkape

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #486 on: December 24, 2013, 08:44:08 AM »
Elena
I'm not going to elaborate on all the intricacies of long distance Internet dating here.
As I am sure it has been covered in great detail, over and over, earlier at this site.
Some of it, most recently in Pat's posting that was split out of this thread.

For me, I have a decided upon a method of writing as many as possible that are within my search parameters.
Then filtering these for whom to answer and continue writing with.

To weed out the non serious, I submit a link in the first intro letter to a web page made for this purpose.
Integrated into the code of this web page, I have a tracker that lets me see all info on those who visit my link.
With the help of different such web pages with trackers, I can monitor a woman's interest in my personal life.
Non serious women almost never visit's my links, but also some of the serious have a lack of interest initially.
The tracker tells me how many seconds a woman is using for studying a nice photo of Lena,
what she finds interesting to watch about our family life, and what photos of me or the boys she likes the most.
It also provides me with an open window to see what interest she has in my financial position.
Some of the women visited my links again and again, spending hours viewing photos and videos of my family.

A tool like this needs some evaluation from the user, for being able to connect the right leads when reading the results.
But it has proven itself invaluable for me, in understanding early on, who is genuinely interested in me and my boys.
And most of all showing me directly, whom to stop writing with immediately.

I used the same technique in one my business ventures earlier, by sending the prospective customer various links.
From what he used the most time watching in the links, I knew how to make my sale when calling him later.
 
Later on, I try to limit writing, Skype, messaging and phone to what is necessary for keeping in touch.
As much as possible, I try to keep any romance out of it till after our meeting.
All meetings are planned as an initial one hour meeting, in a ordinary restaurant over a cup of coffee / tea.
Making it very easy and non committing to find out we like each other, and if there is any kind of physical attraction.
This one hour meeting usually extended itself to the time of the restaurant closing, and sometimes into the wee hours.
All plans were initially made with an option for a second longer meeting, which I tried to carry through whenever possible.
Even in the second meetings I tried to avoid any romance in the sense of touching or kissing.
more later....

Fathertime and others...
start with post 142 back on page 6 and you can read all about it

That's it for today... folks
I will try to make a comprehensive guide to these and other techniques I used for finding my prospective women later.

It's Christmas day and I will go make my special Waldorf Salad
Lena is almost finished with the traditional Norwegian Christmas "Ribbe"

Wikipedia:
Ribbe = Roasted pork belly, usually served with sauerkraut and boiled potatoes, Christmas sausages, meat balls and gravy. A clear favourite, eaten by six out of ten households, mainly in Trřndelag and Eastern Norway.
A Waldorf salad is a salad traditionally made of fresh apples, celery and walnuts, dressed in mayonnaise, and usually served on a bed of lettuce as an appetizer or a light meal.

« Last Edit: December 24, 2013, 08:47:49 AM by northkape »

Online northkape

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #487 on: December 27, 2013, 12:21:19 AM »
Then I feel it safe to turn on my "number 2" phone and make a call to my long time favorite Kirhovorad32.
I was unable to get in touch with her while driving here, and she is waiting for my call about our meeting tomorrow.
Heaven might fall down in hell, if I'm unable to get hold of her before Dniepropetrovsk36 arrives here.

After 20 minutes on the phone with Kirhovorad32, I step out of the doorway where I have been partially hiding and watching the French Carousel.
But Dniepropetrovsk36 is nowhere to be seen...
I can't see anyone on the lookout for a meeting at all, except for a younger woman toddling restlessly around the carousel,
Walking slowly without an aim myself, our eyes meet several times, till I finally walk over to her, presenting myself in English.....
She turns out to be the younger sister of my date, and is of course looking for me, but not recognizing me from the photos her sister had shown her.
Dniepropetrovsk36 arrives a few minutes later, looking every bit as beautiful in real life as in her photos, and with a smile and eyes made for melting my heart.
Like most all men, I'm attracted to a woman I consider to be beautiful, but with this young woman there was a special reason for it.
In my youth, there was in school, a girl with this same beautiful smile and eyes, short story is, I never got into her panties, which nagged me for years back then.
However stupid it seems, her smile and eyes, were among the main reasons for meeting with this older version of my youths secret dream.
Well, she had most of her ducks lined up, but if it wasn't for me being so attracted to her smile, I would have dropped her from my list long ago.
There were a couple of red flags with her, that I had moved to the account of doubts, just to be able to meet and look into her lovely chestnut eyes.
In the coffee shop a few minutes walk away, I made the same mistake I usually make when meeting a "non English" woman together with an "interpreter".
I was communicating mostly with her younger sister, who spoke good english, and almost forgetting, neglecting my date.
Fortunately, her sister had only an hour to spare for us, before needing to go home to take care of her child. I offered to drive her home 20 minutes away.
After dropping off her sister, Dniepropetrovsk36 suggested we could stay in the area because she lives only a few blocks away from her sister.
When ordering coffee at a small restaurant overlooking an ice rink inside a shopping center, I remembered photos of her skating with her daughter.
Between us, I know a few Russian words and she understands some English, adding Google Voice on my phone we have a conversation going.
Later, in the car outside her apartment, a couple of hours after midnight, we decide to meet again later in the week.
Driving back to Dnieprodzherzhinsk I don't see much value in a second meeting, but,,, her smile and those eyes, how could I possibly say no.

I will die only once, never to return..... what I want, I must do now.....

Next up,,, lovely Kirhovorad32

Offline Patagonie

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #488 on: December 27, 2013, 03:09:20 AM »
Elena
I'm not going to elaborate on all the intricacies of long distance Internet dating here.
As I am sure it has been covered in great detail, over and over, earlier at this site.
Some of it, most recently in Pat's posting that was split out of this thread.

For me, I have a decided upon a method of writing as many as possible that are within my search parameters.
Then filtering these for whom to answer and continue writing with.

To weed out the non serious, I submit a link in the first intro letter to a web page made for this purpose.
Integrated into the code of this web page, I have a tracker that lets me see all info on those who visit my link.
With the help of different such web pages with trackers, I can monitor a woman's interest in my personal life.
Non serious women almost never visit's my links, but also some of the serious have a lack of interest initially.
The tracker tells me how many seconds a woman is using for studying a nice photo of Lena,
what she finds interesting to watch about our family life, and what photos of me or the boys she likes the most.
It also provides me with an open window to see what interest she has in my financial position.
Some of the women visited my links again and again, spending hours viewing photos and videos of my family.

A tool like this needs some evaluation from the user, for being able to connect the right leads when reading the results.
But it has proven itself invaluable for me, in understanding early on, who is genuinely interested in me and my boys.
And most of all showing me directly, whom to stop writing with immediately.

I used the same technique in one my business ventures earlier, by sending the prospective customer various links.
From what he used the most time watching in the links, I knew how to make my sale when calling him later.
 
Later on, I try to limit writing, Skype, messaging and phone to what is necessary for keeping in touch.
As much as possible, I try to keep any romance out of it till after our meeting.
All meetings are planned as an initial one hour meeting, in a ordinary restaurant over a cup of coffee / tea.
Making it very easy and non committing to find out we like each other, and if there is any kind of physical attraction.
This one hour meeting usually extended itself to the time of the restaurant closing, and sometimes into the wee hours.
All plans were initially made with an option for a second longer meeting, which I tried to carry through whenever possible.
Even in the second meetings I tried to avoid any romance in the sense of touching or kissing.
more later....

Fathertime and others...
start with post 142 back on page 6 and you can read all about it

That's it for today... folks
I will try to make a comprehensive guide to these and other techniques I used for finding my prospective women later.

It's Christmas day and I will go make my special Waldorf Salad
Lena is almost finished with the traditional Norwegian Christmas "Ribbe"

Wikipedia:
Ribbe = Roasted pork belly, usually served with sauerkraut and boiled potatoes, Christmas sausages, meat balls and gravy. A clear favourite, eaten by six out of ten households, mainly in Trřndelag and Eastern Norway.
A Waldorf salad is a salad traditionally made of fresh apples, celery and walnuts, dressed in mayonnaise, and usually served on a bed of lettuce as an appetizer or a light meal.
:applaud: :applaud: :applaud: :applaud: :applaud:

I would congratulate North for his work. This is a very creative way to assess ladies' interest.
For all geeks and guys who have the possibility to create such a tool it is a the way to do.
Some girls as he stated can really be fascinated by photos, they would really like to meet you.

If you add an amazing biography you mulitply your chances and the comfort with her at the first meeting.  So you don't need to spend hundreds hours to write.
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Online northkape

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #489 on: January 03, 2014, 06:17:42 AM »
Thanks Pat
You apparently understood the point of my writings,,,, smile

Here is an example from earlier this year

 

The lady on the top from Khmelnitskiy is clearly seriously interested, in me and my boys.
Having viewed 170 pages during 14 separate visits.
Spending all of 40 minutes on the last one of her 14 visits.
I could also study in detail what she looked at, and for how long.

The lady below was also an equally beautiful young lady, at the same age of 35 years.
But looking at the tracker, she wasn't seriously interested at all, just clicking on my link and leaving.

The first one turned out to be a very nice woman, I jumped on a plane, one weekend at the end of that month to visit her. 
For the other one from Yalta, I sent her a letter, telling her how delighted I was with the photos she had sent me.
And "telling" her that I would be able to come visit her, directly after a business trip to Turkey in a few weeks time.
Of course I never heard from her again.

When deciding to look for a woman in Ukraine again a year ago, I made a detailed plan for how to find my lady, and how to avoid wasting time with "unwanted" women.
Every little detail, from fine tuning my written profile and photos, by tracking the response on hundreds of different letters, on the Mamba platform and similar.
To using an assortment of web pages with tracking, together with some carefully selected text in my letters, for weeding out all those I didn't want to meet with.
Before moving on to all possible paid and free dating sites, with my sharply honed and fine tuned profile, photos, intro letter and web tracking .
It all worked so far beyond my wildest expectations, that I almost can't believe it myself.

Now it is for time to show,, if I was able to find the right one..... smile

On a side note, I made this available today on the trip report page:

Here is a link to a page I made yesterday.
I didn't have the time for looking through thousands of older photos for finding material.
If I can remember where,, I do have some already sorted out photos that I can easily add.
Will make a note here when I update it..

Anyway there is a nice photo story from our trip to Novy Sviet in 2011.

http://northkape.com/crimea/



Offline Patagonie

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #490 on: January 03, 2014, 07:59:52 AM »
A lot of people, and especially newbies have a lot to learn about what you did BEFORE contacting ladies.

I also made a huge preparation BEFORE making some contacts and before going.
 I didn't think about a site and tracking any visitors, i think that is a very SMART tool, and absolutely adapted to the FSU conquest, in the way of a SERIOUS relationship (marriage at the end).
I did something else : i wrote a story of nine pages translated by a professional translator. It costs me more than 400 $. People would think this guy is crazy no one would like to spend half hour to read such document.
They were wrong this text was a big "cheval de Troie" and raised beyond my expectations their attention.
 If some girls can spend few hours lurking photos, half hour of reading is nothing in comparison. Of course it takes me some time to do it, three weeks exactly.
If at the same time you tell to the girl i will be in your city in less than 3 weeks and for nothing she would like to miss this appointment. You are far beyond a lot of guys, especially all keyboard romeos.

A lot of guys complain to have not enough agenda. I don't know what they do but i never had such problem. Quite the opposite i realized that there are a lot of girls ready to waste your time. Prodaters, girls wanting just to improve their english, girls curious of meeting a foreigner, girls expecting a giver mainly.

i paste what you wrote, again :
"When deciding to look for a woman in Ukraine again a year ago, I made a detailed plan for how to find my lady, and how to avoid wasting time with "unwanted" women.
Every little detail, from fine tuning my written profile and photos, by tracking the response on hundreds of different letters, on the Mamba platform and similar.
To using an assortment of web pages with tracking, together with some carefully selected text in my letters, for weeding out all those I didn't want to meet with.
Before moving on to all possible paid and free dating sites, with my sharply honed and fine tuned profile, photos, intro letter and web tracking .
It all worked so far beyond my wildest expectations, that I almost can't believe it myself."


The big majority of guys have NO PLAN. that is the problem. And means are limited, especially for us guys.
You also write something valuable : "with some carefully selected text in my letters, for weeding out all those I didn't want to meet with."
This is a big plus for a woman on the seduction's diagram. When you IMPLICITELY (not agressively) confront them to your values which will decide if you would like to pursue the relationship it implies that they have to work on it to win you and you are not just an ass kicker just here to get her panties. It gives to the relationship a lot of excitement and in return  it improves your value.

Now the question is : you have had a plan, you have tools and experience, but in addition do you have some discipline ?
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Offline The Natural

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #491 on: January 03, 2014, 08:31:16 AM »
Wow, NK and Pat. You guys raise this quest to a whole new Level of professionalism. Very good idea to monitor level of interest from ladies by watching traffic data. I never thought about that possibility back when I was "active". You two should get together and make a company offering services, you already have valuable tools.

Offline fathertime

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #492 on: January 03, 2014, 09:32:23 AM »
Thanks Pat
You apparently understood the point of my writings,,,, smile

Here is an example from earlier this year

 

The lady on the top from Khmelnitskiy is clearly seriously interested, in me and my boys.
Having viewed 170 pages during 14 separate visits.
Spending all of 40 minutes on the last one of her 14 visits.
I could also study in detail what she looked at, and for how long.

 
Hey NK,  I'm pretty surprised that the ability to track viewers of your profile exists in such detail...I wouldn't bother to do all this, but I can respect that it works for you...I just checked out the latest album...great photos...heck you can probably tell me which photos I liked best with that software of yours! hahah
Fathertime!

I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline Patagonie

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #493 on: January 03, 2014, 04:05:20 PM »
Wow, NK and Pat. You guys raise this quest to a whole new Level of professionalism. Very good idea to monitor level of interest from ladies by watching traffic data. I never thought about that possibility back when I was "active". You two should get together and make a company offering services, you already have valuable tools.

Hey Natural, novii god !

I begin to understand this guy now. I didn't understand few months ago why he came to present his story by an active one, followed by a past one. 
And now i understand (or i believe it  ;D ). It means that the logical heart of the poster was knowing that the story was off, and the experimented man, whatever are the emotional waves coming back from his previous marriage, was carefully planning the rest of his life. In the Heymans Le Senne typology we call them Active  and Secondary, if you had Activity you got the "passionate character".

Thank you for your post, have a nice time with your family !  :)
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #494 on: January 04, 2014, 04:04:47 AM »
Thanks for the kind words Natural and FT

About discipline Pat,, yes it is difficult, but absolutely needed.

When looking for someone to marry, you don't want to settle for "almost there",
at the same time you don't want to continue searching forever either.
My timeframe was to find her within a year, using all possible means available to me.

After searching through thousands of profiles, sending a thousand intro lettters,
writing hundreds of letters, endless hours of Skype, chat and phone,
to finally build a list of prospects to meet with.........
Then when starting to meet with your prospects, it would be insanely irrational,
to get bewildered by sex or any romance, before finishing your planned list.
 
So initially, I didn't want to commit to anything more than a one hour meeting for a cup of coffee.
However nice in writing and Skype, meeting face to face can change like to dislike, in an instant.
A fact I'm vey aware of, especially since I'm meeting with women 20+ years younger than myself.
I usually, understand almost immediately, when there is a lack of attraction.
And it happened several times this year, for her and for me.

As I wrote a week ago:
As much as possible, I try to keep any romance out of it till after our meeting.
All meetings are planned as an initial one hour meeting, in a ordinary restaurant over a cup of coffee / tea.
Making it very easy and non committing to find out we like each other, and if there is any kind of physical attraction.
This one hour meeting usually extended itself to the time of the restaurant closing, and sometimes into the wee hours.
All plans were initially made with an option for a second longer meeting, which I tried to carry through whenever possible.
Even in the second meetings I tried to avoid any romance in the sense of touching or kissing.


I failed at some crossroads during this summer,
but my last ten day trip, was almost to the point, absolutely disciplined.
Not to get engaged in any romance, before a decision to go forward is made...

Sitting here now,, I feel like being ahead of schedule, it's "mission accomplished"

I have decided to go forward with my present "one and only", and to meet with her again for a full week, at the end of February
Of course I would have liked to meet with her sooner than this, but I need also Lena's consent, in all my decisions.
Because she needs to find a way, to juggle her work schedule, for being able to handle our boys alone, when I'm away.

She is now, finally in the process of moving the most necessary items to her apartment, for living there more permanently.
Not at all easy, as she has more clothes and shoes alone, than it's physically room for at her new place.

And behind my "one and only", I have almost equally good prospects, aware of my decision, that are keeping their door open,,,,,,,

Dating with all these beautiful women was like being in heaven, but choosing only one was the hell of it.......  :)

Next up,,, meeting with lovely Kirhovorad32
« Last Edit: January 04, 2014, 08:46:30 AM by northkape »

Offline ML

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #495 on: January 04, 2014, 12:17:29 PM »
Hey NK, Pat, GQ, Gator and other (me, me . . . don't forget me!!   8) )good planners . . . you know there are very few of us who have high abilities in planning and executing anything.

Most here have trouble even carrying out correspondence and meeting with one woman.

They hide behind this - - - concentrate on developing true love with the one and only . . . before the first meeting.

However, don't lose sight of the fact that it is still a crap shoot.

Planning and execution skills can increase the probability of success in any endeavor; but, in the end, there will still be an element of luck and we cannot delude ourselves that we have really found a 'till death do us part' mate.

But still, life is great with a person when you are both enjoying it to the MAX, are optimistic, and don't see an end in sight.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #496 on: January 04, 2014, 02:43:15 PM »
Totally agree with you ML
Whomever you find, long term, it's still a crap shot....
But nothing better than finding a good foundation,
from where to start building a new and loving relationship.
(MAX optimistic, with no end in sight,,,,, smiling)

Offline Patagonie

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #497 on: January 04, 2014, 04:44:41 PM »
Hey NK, Pat, GQ, Gator and other (me, me . . . don't forget me!!   8) )good planners . . . you know there are very few of us who have high abilities in planning and executing anything.

Most here have trouble even carrying out correspondence and meeting with one woman.

They hide behind this - - - concentrate on developing true love with the one and only . . . before the first meeting.

However, don't lose sight of the fact that it is still a crap shoot.

Planning and execution skills can increase the probability of success in any endeavor; but, in the end, there will still be an element of luck and we cannot delude ourselves that we have really found a 'till death do us part' mate.

But still, life is great with a person when you are both enjoying it to the MAX, are optimistic, and don't see an end in sight.

Hi ML.
Yes we have in common. I perfectly do agree that developping any comfort zone is a plus but it is not love before the first meeting, unfortunately many guys doing a wovo or wmvo forget this.
And i also agree that whatever you plan, there is of course a big part  of luck.

NK, i personnaly, even if i saw hundreds of profiles, contacted  really less ladiesthan you. I probably contacted less than few dozens of women. 75% of women i met were trought agencies and they had been very rarely contacted before.
I really focused and rely on the meeting. Of course i choose women on some personal criterias : age, photos which i considered  attractive (for me), profile with the word "generous" not written (i systematically unckecked ALL women with "generous man wanted"), children between 0 and 1. The rest ? it has low value in my eyes because the most important is to be with the lady and to feel her, to smell her, to play with her, to look at her, to catch emotions that you wake up in her.
I was not using Skype at this time. I understand that is a great tool, but chemistry happens really only during the meeting. I am a zealous advocate of meeting first, no hope, no feelings, just this honesty and so not disappointment for anybody.

I also, like you NK avoided as possible, kissing or more with women. Compare to the number i met i avoided generally. Sex was allocated to be done in my soil. That is a big strengh and you avoid to waste your time and many complications. It is also, i find, more respectful for ladies. I had only two real, completed and commited relationships. I kissed at least seven girls on 50 but followed only one time of foreplay.

You have NK an other bonus : you know very quickly if there is a lack or not of attraction. That is a skill and many men are lacking, especially with FSU women.


"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #498 on: January 06, 2014, 08:42:52 PM »
Pat
Yes, we used a somewhat different map for finding the way to Rome............

With much more than a hundred thousand Ukraine women, having profiles on dating sites now,
I figured I could afford a very narrow set of search criteria, and still find prospects.
By registering on almost every dating site available with Ukraine women, free and paid.
Yes, it was extremely time consuming, being close to a full time occupation for almost a year now.

But it did work, I did find young attractive mothers that passed through my small window,
and also showed a great interest in me and my boys, through writing and when meeting.

I was sending somewhere between one and two hundred intro letters for each prospect I ended up meeting with.
90% of all letters I wrote, ended in nothing, mostly because I didn't find it worthwhile to continue for some reason.
The tracking software for my web pages, was instrumental in getting rid of these "not 100% interested" women.
 
My intro letter was identical for everyone, a brief summary of my history and explaining why she was receiving it.
Consisting of 18 lines, neatly arranged in several paragraphs, and containing a link to my main intro webpage.
 
It was in Russian language, but clearly not written by a native, and at the same time, above Google translate.
My reasoning was that a perfect translation looked "bought", and Google translate, cheap and easy.
I tried to show my personal effort in providing a good Russian letter, by tweaking the result from Google translate
with the help of my own limited knowledge, and using a dictionary together with numerous back translations.
In the end Lena helped me a little also,, to get that special touch I wanted..
Result was that a lot of those answering, commented me also on my Russian writing skills,
I asked everyone the reason why they decided to answer my intro letter.
From their answers, I concluded that my intro letter was far above what they generally received from men.

Except for the intro, each and every one of my letters were personalized, and tailored to that individual woman.
Every single letter contained at least one new photo, from the present daily life of me and my boys.
As time passed by, I built a large matrix of reusable text blocks and photos, along with a database,
showing the history of all communication, with every woman I ever were in touch with...

Verbal communication on Skype, was much more difficult to keep track of and remember,,,
it's rather embarrassing, when you ask a woman the same question for the third time in six weeks,,,, smile

As a rule, I never mentioned anything that has monetary value, and can be touched by hand,,,
I was rather trying to focus on things we would have a common interest in.
Like: values, preferences, feelings, ideas, beliefs, thoughts, likes, dislikes, tastes, music, philosophy ++
And also activities you can enjoy wherever you are and whatever economic means you have available.
Like: family, children, animals, reading, being outdoor in nature, walks in the park, swimming, photography ++

Whenever they complained about life in Ukraine, I countered with positives about being alive in general.
And to look in the history books, to see how lucky we are, compared to those living in the centuries behind us.
The value of seeing and enjoying the positives of being alive and present, in what is, after all a wonderful world.
Values in my life, that were influenced also, by reading great Russian writers like Dostoyevsky.

And no Pat,, I never cared about the word "generous" it can mean a lot of different things for a woman,,,  smile




Offline Patagonie

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Re: Update - 13 years later
« Reply #499 on: January 07, 2014, 01:55:36 AM »
Pat
Yes, we used a somewhat different map for finding the way to Rome............

With much more than a hundred thousand Ukraine women, having profiles on dating sites now,
I figured I could afford a very narrow set of search criteria, and still find prospects.
By registering on almost every dating site available with Ukraine women, free and paid.
Yes, it was extremely time consuming, being close to a full time occupation for almost a year now.

But it did work, I did find young attractive mothers that passed through my small window,
and also showed a great interest in me and my boys, through writing and when meeting.

I was sending somewhere between one and two hundred intro letters for each prospect I ended up meeting with.
90% of all letters I wrote, ended in nothing, mostly because I didn't find it worthwhile to continue for some reason.
The tracking software for my web pages, was instrumental in getting rid of these "not 100% interested" women.
 
My intro letter was identical for everyone, a brief summary of my history and explaining why she was receiving it.
Consisting of 18 lines, neatly arranged in several paragraphs, and containing a link to my main intro webpage.
 
It was in Russian language, but clearly not written by a native, and at the same time, above Google translate.
My reasoning was that a perfect translation looked "bought", and Google translate, cheap and easy.
I tried to show my personal effort in providing a good Russian letter, by tweaking the result from Google translate
with the help of my own limited knowledge, and using a dictionary together with numerous back translations.
In the end Lena helped me a little also,, to get that special touch I wanted..
Result was that a lot of those answering, commented me also on my Russian writing skills,
I asked everyone the reason why they decided to answer my intro letter.
From their answers, I concluded that my intro letter was far above what they generally received from men.

Except for the intro, each and every one of my letters were personalized, and tailored to that individual woman.
Every single letter contained at least one new photo, from the present daily life of me and my boys.
As time passed by, I built a large matrix of reusable text blocks and photos, along with a database,
showing the history of all communication, with every woman I ever were in touch with...

Verbal communication on Skype, was much more difficult to keep track of and remember,,,
it's rather embarrassing, when you ask a woman the same question for the third time in six weeks,,,, smile

As a rule, I never mentioned anything that has monetary value, and can be touched by hand,,,
I was rather trying to focus on things we would have a common interest in.
Like: values, preferences, feelings, ideas, beliefs, thoughts, likes, dislikes, tastes, music, philosophy ++
And also activities you can enjoy wherever you are and whatever economic means you have available.
Like: family, children, animals, reading, being outdoor in nature, walks in the park, swimming, photography ++

Whenever they complained about life in Ukraine, I countered with positives about being alive in general.
And to look in the history books, to see how lucky we are, compared to those living in the centuries behind us.
The value of seeing and enjoying the positives of being alive and present, in what is, after all a wonderful world.
Values in my life, that were influenced also, by reading great Russian writers like Dostoyevsky.

And no Pat,, I never cared about the word "generous" it can mean a lot of different things for a woman,,,  smile

I spent really, really less time than you on the correspondance. I had had my time lurking sites, few months maximum but i focussed on maximum three sites. After yes it is a big mess, unless you are very well organized (like you were).
I didn't want to spend days and nights around this. I was locally hugely invested in dating, so 75% of ladies i met were barely by agencies with generally no previous communication.
However previous trips i was generally very well organized about my communications means, profiles database and planification. Computer, two iphones, additional usb key (usb key and iphones always with me even with just a jeans and a shirt). Photos of train schedule, photos of profiles in iphones and so on.
I started by visiting two cities at the same time but i definitively focused on only one, quickly conscious about the waste of time and the risks to go from on to an other. I made two wmvo, one was a success and one was a failure. I gave up on vo. You make a vo WHEN you have already met her, not before.
It would be interesting that you detail how you manage ladies and what you tell her when you go from a city to an other. IMHO it is a tricky art.
For the rest i was lucky to have a high return of interest. I mean that in agency, if you remove the missing ones, i was having more than 60 % of date when i wanted. Thank you an elaborated profile in russian and professional photos. My first trip in Kiev few times before getting in the plane i had quickly 6 phones number in my pocket. The key is if you have prepared your dating material, you are normal and serious, and they are persuaded that you will be in their city, they would like to meet you provided that you have cross their physical attraction test.
We say it often here : speaking russian, even just a little is a nice bonus. They are curious that you are curious of their language, of their country. The fact also that you have an explicit or implicit validation by your ex wife is also a plus for the serious mates who intend to have a future with you.
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

 

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