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Author Topic: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?  (Read 18475 times)

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Offline MonarchXYZ

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The dating agencies are mostly scams and I am very fluent in Russian. Should I just avoid digital media altogether? If I do, then what are other alternatives for meeting women in Ukraine - clubs? bars? cafes? shopping malls? I heard some men just approach women on the street. I am not by any means a sex tourist - I seek only a serious relationship. Some say being fluent in Russian is a disadvantage because it will prevent exposure to those specifically seeking western men and may create a perception of being local. What would you advice?

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2016, 06:54:21 AM »
Think there are certainly what some refer to as an 'English Groupie' crowd over there and your English will be an asset here. From my recent experiences over there girls that are fluent (or near as) English speakers will warm to you well if you are an English speaker usually. This is not to say there is chemistry, this still needs to be found but the girl will be well predisposed towards you.

Girls that can just speak Russian/Ukrainian I know less about since my Russian is poor, a few will warm after a while but most will be a significant barrier. If you know the language well but live abroad then your chances are likely better and will give you the opportunity to scout out any you may chime with. Apparently, many girls would prefer a guy that is Russian/speaks Russian but many are too poor to offer a future other than abject poverty and hence misery (Ukraine has a lot of poverty).

If I were you I would look to go out there for a month or more, rent an apartment and engross yourself in a lifestyle over there that suits your hobbies, interests, etc, Anything that bring you into contact with girls. That is what I intend to do in a few months time. If you are fluent in Russian this will help you out a lot for an extended stay - you are after all coming from the US so more costly time & money wise.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline Slumba

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2016, 08:05:47 AM »
If you want to set up meetings beforehand, I suggest Badoo or Mamba.ru (pay for VIP service).  Then just set up coffee dates.
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Offline MonarchXYZ

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2016, 08:44:39 AM »
Think there are certainly what some refer to as an 'English Groupie' crowd over there and your English will be an asset here. From my recent experiences over there girls that are fluent (or near as) English speakers will warm to you well if you are an English speaker usually. This is not to say there is chemistry, this still needs to be found but the girl will be well predisposed towards you.

Girls that can just speak Russian/Ukrainian I know less about since my Russian is poor, a few will warm after a while but most will be a significant barrier. If you know the language well but live abroad then your chances are likely better and will give you the opportunity to scout out any you may chime with. Apparently, many girls would prefer a guy that is Russian/speaks Russian but many are too poor to offer a future other than abject poverty and hence misery (Ukraine has a lot of poverty).

If I were you I would look to go out there for a month or more, rent an apartment and engross yourself in a lifestyle over there that suits your hobbies, interests, etc, Anything that bring you into contact with girls. That is what I intend to do in a few months time. If you are fluent in Russian this will help you out a lot for an extended stay - you are after all coming from the US so more costly time & money wise.

Thank you for advice. It would be awkward as soon as they would ask me for my name, which is very Russian/Ukrainian, because I spent first 12 years of my life there... I am neither local nor exactly a foreigner... Not sure whether its a good thing or not.

I have relatives there, some who may introduce me to some women, but I don't want to be limited just to that. I also know that the English groupie is more than likely to consist of gold diggers, while the Russian-only speaking ladies are less likely to want to move from Ukraine to USA.

Too bad my job can only provide a 1 or 2-week vacation and that's with sick days combined, etc.


Offline BillyB

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2016, 09:29:49 AM »
The dating agencies are mostly scams and I am very fluent in Russian. Should I just avoid digital media altogether? If I do, then what are other alternatives for meeting women in Ukraine - clubs? bars? cafes? shopping malls? I heard some men just approach women on the street.


Welcome to the forum MonarchXYZ. I wouldn't meet women at bars. Does anybody know a couple that met at a bar and is celebrating over 20 years of marriage? Meeting women in the FSU at cafes, stores, or even on the street is good for a backup plan if one you're visiting doesn't work out. Chances are most women you meet in public will not be looking to move to another country although they'd be interested in dating a foreigner at least once.

Here's what I did. I dated as many women at home but still wrote women overseas. Even if you don't get married, at least you'd still be very happy as a single man. When I found a woman overseas that I felt was a winner and she was into me, only then I'd visit her. Most of the time the meeting will reveal flaws or lack of chemistry so that is why the backup plan is necessary. A lot of men try to force a relationship with a woman with flaws or nothing there. Don't be one of those men. There is no shortcut to getting this done the first time. Expect to do a lot of dating to find the right woman especially if you decide to meet random women you know nothing about in cafes or on the street.
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Offline ML

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2016, 09:34:12 AM »

Too bad my job can only provide a 1 or 2-week vacation and that's with sick days combined, etc.

This really isn't for you.

It takes a lot of trips back and forth to meet the gals, and keep contact going.

That is one reason why many of the guys here are older, probably have 4 weeks or more of vacation each year, run their own businesses, are somewhat wealthy, are retired, etc.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline alex330

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2016, 10:03:23 AM »
The dating agencies are mostly scams and I am very fluent in Russian. Should I just avoid digital media altogether? If I do, then what are other alternatives for meeting women in Ukraine - clubs? bars? cafes? shopping malls? I heard some men just approach women on the street.

I would try to meet someone on one of the social media platforms. Would seem the best route before a trip over in your case. Meeting a woman on the street seemed a but tricky for me while I was visiting as most go about their own business, but maybe your language asset will make it easier. Depends on your personality I would think.

If I were you I would look to go out there for a month or more, rent an apartment and engross yourself in a lifestyle over there that suits your hobbies, interests, etc, Anything that bring you into contact with girls.

I would suggest the same, but your limited time off does not allow it....

Thank you for advice. It would be awkward as soon as they would ask me for my name, which is very Russian/Ukrainian, because I spent first 12 years of my life there... I am neither local nor exactly a foreigner... Not sure whether its a good thing or not.

I would think this is the best of both worlds and can only work in your favor.

Offline MonarchXYZ

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2016, 10:43:31 AM »
This really isn't for you.

It takes a lot of trips back and forth to meet the gals, and keep contact going.

That is one reason why many of the guys here are older, probably have 4 weeks or more of vacation each year, run their own businesses, are somewhat wealthy, are retired, etc.

Took my step-dad a week after meeting up with my mom one time, same for my sister, same for a friend from Romania who went back for 2 weeks. You are killing me hope. I could go there once a year every year. I'm a successful guy and cost is not a problem (especially since I don't have to pay for living in my own place), but time is...

FYI, the only reason women there select older men is because older men are more financially stable and responsible, but some of us got excellent jobs right after college at the age of 22.

I know I would NEVER marry a western woman and only marry one born and raised in Ukraine. I mean I could move to Brooklyn to find one too, but one way or another I need to go back to see my loved ones. You suggest I should not even try? Scared I will ruin it for your friends?

Offline Slumba

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2016, 11:00:01 AM »
Took my step-dad a week after meeting up with my mom one time, same for my sister, same for a friend from Romania who went back for 2 weeks. You are killing me hope. I could go there once a year every year. I'm a successful guy and cost is not a problem (especially since I don't have to pay for living in my own place), but time is...

FYI, the only reason women there select older men is because older men are more financially stable and responsible, but some of us got excellent jobs right after college at the age of 22.

I know I would NEVER marry a western woman and only marry one born and raised in Ukraine. I mean I could move to Brooklyn to find one too, but one way or another I need to go back to see my loved ones. You suggest I should not even try? Scared I will ruin it for your friends?

It might be that since you have native Russian speaking ability it won't take you as long as it takes those that are not fluent.

Even so, you should be aware of the delays you will run into once you do make your decision; the nutty bureaucracy of the USA' visa issuance system might cause frustration or even problems.  Being able to see your fiance in person in between the decision and when she arrives in USA (which could be months) might be a good idea.

Since you live in the USA but speak Russian and know many Ukr/Russian people, I would invite your comments on the thread "The real reason why we stopped dating AW" at http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=21167.0  Your perspective would be read - since you have seen things from both sides, as it were.
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Online 2tallbill

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Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2016, 11:03:26 AM »
The dating agencies are mostly scams and I am very fluent in Russian. Should I just avoid digital media altogether? If I do, then what are other alternatives for meeting women in Ukraine - clubs? bars? cafes? shopping malls? I heard some men just approach women on the street. I am not by any means a sex tourist - I seek only a serious relationship. Some say being fluent in Russian is a disadvantage because it will prevent exposure to those specifically seeking western men and may create a perception of being local. What would you advice?

The marriage agencies are one thing but you should think of social networking and dating
and electronic sites as force multipliers or as a tool to expand your reach.

I don't know your age, but do you really think that looking in bars is the best place to
find the best prospects for marriage? it's been my experience that's the best place to
find bar flies.

Back when I was in my twenties I would find women in laundry mats, the DMV,
super markets, the ski slopes and sporting events. Occasionally I would bring home
a bar fly who smelled like an ashtray but the best girls were found elsewhere.

That's my opinion at least.

Udachi!

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FSUW don't do vague
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Offline BillyB

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #10 on: September 25, 2016, 12:05:25 PM »
I know I would NEVER marry a western woman and only marry one born and raised in Ukraine. I mean I could move to Brooklyn to find one too, but one way or another I need to go back to see my loved ones.

Lots of Ukrainian women living in America. Go to Mamba.ru and search for them. You don't have to move to Brooklyn. You can fly women to your city if you're not finding enough in your city.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline MonarchXYZ

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #11 on: September 25, 2016, 12:14:51 PM »
Lots of Ukrainian women living in America. Go to Mamba.ru and search for them. You don't have to move to Brooklyn. You can fly women to your city if you're not finding enough in your city.

I've encountered several in America and most were raised in the United States, but born in Ukraine, which made them very much non-Ukrainian as far as personalities were and did not appreciate USA much. Some could not even speak Russian and considered themselves Russian/Ukrainian. The chances of finding one in America (especially close-by) are lower than finding one in Ukraine IMO.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #12 on: September 25, 2016, 12:21:12 PM »
Took my step-dad a week after meeting up with my mom one time, same for my sister, same for a friend from Romania who went back for 2 weeks. You are killing me hope. I could go there once a year every year. I'm a successful guy and cost is not a problem (especially since I don't have to pay for living in my own place), but time is...

FYI, the only reason women there select older men is because older men are more financially stable and responsible, but some of us got excellent jobs right after college at the age of 22.

I know I would NEVER marry a western woman and only marry one born and raised in Ukraine. I mean I could move to Brooklyn to find one too, but one way or another I need to go back to see my loved ones. You suggest I should not even try? Scared I will ruin it for your friends?

Well ML can seem like he's knocking your ideas sometimes but I think he is often a good realist. Realistically from what I have seen & learned so far you are probably more realistically going to find someone on a four week visit than four one week visits split up. Plus you won't be paying for plane fares each time, not a worry for you but for others it can become a pricey endevour.

The thing I think is is that although you can meet as your examples suggest someone in a limited period of time you just don't know when this limited period of time may be - your one week could easily miss it or find a girl the day or two before you fly off. How long have you then got for relationship to blossom? None really, back to internet messing with her and then it may never materialize.

Some people indeed luck out but for many, probably most its a lengthier journey where resources & effort need to be put in to hope to stand a realistic chance, that is what I have gathered. I had the same idea as you when I started out on this journey back last Christmas time, meet a girl for a week, which I did, and hey all good to go. There was not the chemistry there and my idea of meeting someone in a week and then be headed towards marriage was unrealistic. Even the idea of knowing a girl much at all to be thinking of a relationship in this direction after a week was unrealistic - a few do within a week but for many its unrealistic. I f you think about it seriously saying you will meet with a girl for a week in another country you have never met before then be hooked up heading for marriage is laughable. You will be a stranger to her and to her country (presumably) many men are. There is also the problem that you will not meet regularly.

If you were to go there for four weeks then you would have plenty of time to see a girl often and meet many women, with a week things are much tighter that you are either potentially sacrificing a nice holiday or doing it all pressurized. I think 2tallbill here took 9 years before his wife came up, which from what I recall came into contact on Mamba, if my memory serves me correct 2tallbill. We all hope to do it quicker but who's to say.

On the PUA, we can all try but some are just gifted at it, naturals, others like myself not so, so ask yourself realistically are you that type of person? 

I'm looking to go down to working part time in a few months time, 2 days a week, this makes it possible for me to pursue other opportunities during the week and importantly be able to take a month off work since four days are easier for my employer to cover my work than 4 five day weeks. Tax wise I will be paying a lot less tax on my wages, virtually none so I don't do too badly income wise either. I would suggest you look at what you can do to try to get a month of work if you  are serious about trying to make this endevour work.
"If you make your own bread, then and only then, are you a free man unchained and alive living in pooty tang paradise, or say no and live in Incel island with all the others." - Krimster

Offline MonarchXYZ

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #13 on: September 25, 2016, 12:47:42 PM »
Working for a US company with US salary (or even a 3rd of it!) in Ukraine would the perfect option, but its near damn impossible to find jobs there.  Aside from that, the only thing I can do is just go and see what happen, but I need to go one way or another. I did get on Mamba.ru and Badoo. At least I can network with people and something can come of it. Another possible option is to start looking for a different job that doesn't start for a month or more, but that's a long-shot and risky.

Can Ukrainians get the 6-month visitor Visa to the US? If not, then how long can they stay? I know even before deciding on marriage, some women come to US just to visit and if the visit is long enough - everything is possible, but you're right - there's no reason to rush things or be desperate. Its a long-term goal for me anyway.

I can tell you one thing - knowing Russian/Ukrainian and understanding the culture builds chemistry a lot quicker. For me, English is kind of a robotic language that doesn't invoke much emotion even if I'm told words like "I love you!". The same words in Russian would make me feel at least something.

EDIT: Just found out there is a 5-day carry-over per year in my company and with sick days, the total is 20 days + 2-years worth of carry over = 30 days.  SWEET!  :clapping: .

Offline alex330

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #14 on: September 25, 2016, 12:50:19 PM »
I met my wife and dated her long distance for quite some time (almost 2 years or so) with only 1 paid week off a year. We met every 2-3 months. I would fly out just to see her for 2-3 days if I could.

This is where you need to get creative. Use a personal day right before the holidays.  Knock out work before deadlines, and speak to your employer about a day off here or there. Beg, barter, and steal those days any way possible.


EDIT: Just found out there is a 5-day carry-over per year in my company and with sick days, the total is 20 days + 2-years worth of carry over = 30 days. 


Split those up and use them before 3 day weekends or holidays and you have even more time. Golden.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2016, 12:52:46 PM by alex330 »

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #15 on: September 25, 2016, 01:11:00 PM »

EDIT: Just found out there is a 5-day carry-over per year in my company and with sick days, the total is 20 days + 2-years worth of carry over = 30 days.  SWEET!  :clapping: .

There's your answer ;D

No I wouldn't recommend going to work in the Ukraine if it would leave you without income from your home country. If you have decent/livable income coming in through investments then its a different matter. Chucking your job in and getting a poorly paid job in the Ukraine could well count against you I would have thought.

When you go out there for the month, go well organised with a plan, a series of plans so if one doesn't work out you have others to work from, but plans that stand a realistic chance of bringing you closer to where women are. I wouldn't just take the months out on the back of a few contacts from online dating sites. Prepare well to make the trip worthwhile.
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Offline ML

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #16 on: September 26, 2016, 08:37:30 AM »

I'm looking to go down to working part time in a few months time, 2 days a week, this makes it possible for me to pursue other opportunities during the week and importantly be able to take a month off work since four days are easier for my employer to cover my work than 4 five day weeks. Tax wise I will be paying a lot less tax on my wages, virtually none so I don't do too badly income wise either.

In USA, you have to show some minimum level of income,  that varies according to size of household, to be able to bring a foreign person into USA.

Probably something similar exists in your country.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline Darth_Budda

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #17 on: September 26, 2016, 01:50:45 PM »
This really isn't for you.

It takes a lot of trips back and forth to meet the gals, and keep contact going.

That is one reason why many of the guys here are older, probably have 4 weeks or more of vacation each year, run their own businesses, are somewhat wealthy, are retired, etc.

I am not wealthy... under 30k

But I do work for a family business and Speak very bad Russian

My advice is to try to make some online friends.. on Vk based on common interests..

Trips can be very inexpensive,, if you search around...



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Online 2tallbill

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #18 on: September 26, 2016, 06:51:01 PM »
I am not wealthy... under 30k

But I do work for a family business and Speak very bad Russian

My advice is to try to make some online friends.. on Vk based on common interests..

Trips can be very inexpensive,, if you search around...

In my opinion, you can do this on a shoe string if you have time to visit and spend
extra time boots on the ground.
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
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There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Just kiss the girl, don't ask her first. Tolerate NO excuses!

Offline MonarchXYZ

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #19 on: September 28, 2016, 07:03:50 PM »
I don't know how you can support a family making 30K a year. Does she know that? They aren't stupid women. I'd say 50K in suburbia is the minimum to live more or less comfy, and 70K in big cities.

Offline ML

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #20 on: September 28, 2016, 08:02:04 PM »
I don't know how you can support a family making 30K a year. Does she know that? They aren't stupid women. I'd say 50K in suburbia is the minimum to live more or less comfy, and 70K in big cities.

Most of them know nothing about the level of income needed to  live well in USA.

And how could they, and why should they?

Our way of life and financial alternatives are very foreign to these gals.
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Offline MonarchXYZ

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #21 on: September 28, 2016, 08:52:16 PM »
Leading them on thinking you can least support them and barely being able to do so is so wrong...

BTW Mamba.ru sucks. The site goes down, the app malfunctions, I am unable to delete my main photo or even change it and cannot delete my account either. What a joke. I bet if I sign up for VIP I will suddenly be able to do all that...typical Russian BS. Also the quality of women is sub-par.

Girls also tend not to reply unless you are close-by.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #22 on: September 28, 2016, 09:37:29 PM »
BTW Mamba.ru sucks.

Girls also tend not to reply unless you are close-by.

 Most men and women there are looking for locals. You have to send out a lot of messages to get a few bites if you're using it to find love overseas. It is better to use Mamba as a backup plan in the town you're in if the primary plan goes south than as an international dating site.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline MonarchXYZ

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  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: None (yet)
Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #23 on: September 29, 2016, 12:59:25 AM »
Do our women, who I am supposed to know better than anyone here, prefer good-looking men? I recall looking good = lazy and no good job. It's not like that in US in my experience and one's looks and body fitness are valued here, but not sure about Ukraine.

Offline BillyB

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  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: Should I even bother with agencies/sites if I am fluent in Russian?
« Reply #24 on: September 29, 2016, 06:22:34 AM »
Do our women, who I am supposed to know better than anyone here, prefer good-looking men? I recall looking good = lazy and no good job. It's not like that in US in my experience and one's looks and body fitness are valued here, but not sure about Ukraine.

FSU women like good looking men but good looks can't support a family. They value other things more such as your biggest sex organ, the brain.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

 

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