Time for some Humor!!

[ML]

I say it is 100% butt; cleverly intertwined with the top and bottom to make us think otherwise.

[viking]

Nice tush !

[Lily]

 
Aren't the boobs where the popka is supposed to be??

[Lily]

[ML]

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.

A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was beat up by the woman's husband.

[mendeleyev]

ML, do you remember when Russians seemed convinced that the CIA had somehow flooded the market with condoms that contained tiny pinholes? I head that story from so many Russians yet no one could explain why the CIA would do such a thing, after all, a country repopulating itself is a formidable foe.


True story: Mrs M always had me stock up whenever I would travel outside Russia because she didn't trust Russian made condoms. She was (and is) convinced that the Russian ones have tiny holes. We must "buy American."


Another almost real story: A CIA “psychological warfare” campaign idea was to drop packages along border area with extra-large condoms — labeled ‘medium’ in English — in order to make Russian women think all American men were exceptionally virile.” Evan Thomas in The Very Best Men.

[mendeleyev]

Sad cat diary:

[ML]

ML, do you remember when Russians seemed convinced that the CIA had somehow flooded the market with condoms that contained tiny pinholes?

Another almost real story: A CIA “psychological warfare” campaign idea was to drop packages along border area with extra-large condoms — labeled ‘medium’ in English — in order to make Russian women think all American men were exceptionally virile.” Evan Thomas in The Very Best Men.

No, I don't think I heard such stories.  Actually, I didn't pay much attention to SU or FSU until around 1999 or so.

There was another story told by Jay Leno (supposedly from the real news) that a huge shipment of condoms had been returned from Japan to USA because they were too large.

[ML]

BUBBA'S RESUME TO PLAYGIRL MAGAZINE

My Resimay

To hoom it mae cunsern,  I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper. 
 
I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.  I think I am good on the Fone and I no I am a pepole person,
 
Pepole realee seam to reespond too me well. 
Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not too good but find that I Offen can get a Job wit my persinalety.
 
My salerery is open so we kin discus wat you  want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I kin start emeditely. Thank  yoo in advanse fore yore anser. hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
 
Sinseerly,
 
Bubba
 
PS:
Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

- - - - - - -

Employer's response:

Dear Bubba:
 
 It's OK Honey . . . We've got spell check.
 
 See you Monday !

[Shadow]

No, I don't think I heard such stories.  Actually, I didn't pay much attention to SU or FSU until around 1999 or so.

There was another story told by Jay Leno (supposedly from the real news) that a huge shipment of condoms had been returned from Japan to USA because they were too large.

After which they were sent to Africa, but were returned again for being too smal. The now old condoms were repackaged as Russian brand and finally they got rid of them...

[2tallbill]

[2tallbill]

[2tallbill]

[Lily]

 

[Lily]

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.

A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was beat up by the woman's husband.

     
 

[Lily]

 

[calmissile]

First Stealth fighter retired to the boneyard (salvage).

[2tallbill]

[2tallbill]

[2tallbill]

[Lily]

[Kokopelli]

When you are over seventy who gives a crap?

This a-hole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
 
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds,had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
 
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
 
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
 
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.
 
"Come on, what day was I born"?
 
I said, "Yesterday."
***********
I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.
 
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
***********
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
 
I said, "Nice legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.

[Lily]

That's what a traditional doghouse looks like in Russia:
 

 

[mendeleyev]

Two couples had been friends for years. Over time the husband from couple one passed on and the wife from couple two then passed.

Naturally the remaining widow and widower hung out together constantly and finally their children approached both and said "You have know each other and been friends for so many years and now in the last period of your lives you should share the time together and get married."

So the two oldsters met to iron out the details. A simple wedding was the most appropriate and instead of an elaborate honeymoon they decided to take an RV trip together. They discussed finances and life insurance proceeds, etc.

After a while the man was getting edgy about something so he looked at her intently over the table and finally in a low voice asked about sex. How often would you like do it, he inquired.

She hesitated for a moment and then said, infrequently.

The old man was silent for a moment or two and then he leaned forward and whispered, was that one word or two?

[ML]

She hesitated for a moment and then said, infrequently.

The old man was silent for a moment or two and then he leaned forward and whispered, was that one word or two?

A slightly  better version (maybe):

She hesitated for a moment and then said, "I would like it infrequently."