Where to find nice, friendly, caring, heavenly girls ?

[Trenchcoat]

You could be right ML, perhaps a counselor may be of best help you Sprotz. Someone to talk things though with calmly in an isolated environment then perhaps walk around with you and help ease your anxiety. What I meant was that meeting a woman one on one over lunch in a nice cafe is perhaps best to ease you into it. So again a relatively pedestrian affair, if you've already messaged online to break the ice & have something to talk about then this will be the easiest dating situation for you I think. Don't place any weight on the situation of her as a potential girlfriend just look at it as practice meeting & chatting to women in a platonic environment.

So don't worry if the girl you call up for a meeting isn't very attractive, the less attractive ones may help you to relax more and get used to women in a social environment. If you really do have big hang ups about meeting & talking to women then your situation is more extreme than mine and you would really need some help on this. I'm not really that outgoing but I'm not really shy either, when I was child/teenage maybe but not really now. I think you'll find once talking to Russian women most are actually very pleasant to talk to, so much so that its very motivating to talk to them.

[2tallbill]

Success in what ?  Giving up on girls means everyone leaves me to shrivel up and die. My family wouldn't let that.

Then you don't have to worry about shriveling up and dying since your family
tends to prevent that sort of thing. Seriously if you can't find a girl in St Pete
then you can't find one anywhere. They have every kind of girl there including
one who would consider you a good catch.

You've been given some good advice regarding teaching English, pursuing
hobbies where you can find girls with similar interests etc. With the internet
it's pretty easy and low risk to ask a girl out from Mamba for a cup of coffee
or tea. If you meet a girl each day for a cup of tea, you will eventually get
better and more confident when meeting them.

Or you can change sides.
http://www.eturbonews.com/58455/stpetersburg-russia-lgbt-ok

[sprotz]

2tallbill, I talked in private with Trenchcoat , and said that American girls are the loveliest on earth. My experience with American girls is that they are very giggly and flirty towards me, some even attempted to break the ice with me. So If I went to America, I would be consumed right away. Problem is, I've never been to America, and unable to go at the present time. So Russia isn't the top place for me to find a girl, America is.

[ML]

2tallbill, I talked in private with Trenchcoat , and said that American girls are the loveliest on earth. My experience with American girls is that they are very giggly and flirty towards me, some even attempted to break the ice with me. So If I went to America, I would be consumed right away. Problem is, I've never been to America, and unable to go at the present time.

Yes, American women are fine . . . if you are not wanting to trade up with respect to several criteria.

[2tallbill]

2tallbill, I talked in private with Trenchcoat , and said that American girls are the loveliest on earth. My experience with American girls is that they are very giggly and flirty towards me, some even attempted to break the ice with me. So If I went to America, I would be consumed right away. Problem is, I've never been to America, and unable to go at the present time. So Russia isn't the top place for me to find a girl, America is.

I've dated quite a large number of American girls and some of them are sexy,
beautiful, intelligent, educated and fun and funny. When you get to be my age,
most of those girls are already happily married, with happy husbands so you
have to pick from those that are left.

There is no magic place to find girls perfect girls who will make you a great wife.
You can certainly find an excellent girl in St Pete. I would recommend rather than
wish to be someplace else that you write 30 girls on Mamba and ask them to meet
you for tea.

As you gain more experience, you will acquire more confidence and
THAT'S WHAT WOMEN WANT. 

Udachi!

Bill

[jone]

Do you dance?  Just curious.   When I went to Gorky Park in Moscow, they had loads of women there looking for dance partners.  Some of the guys had two left feet and were still getting asked.    Go to one of the public dance places, put a smile on your face and see how long it takes for a woman to introduce herself.

Wanna tell a short story.  Had just broken up with a previous GF.  Got a call through Elena's Models from a woman visiting my city, on her own.  I told her I would be happy to show her my city.  We met not far away from a Russian Orthodox Church, at a Starbucks.  Here comes this beautiful 30 something gal from Odessa.  I asked her what she had seen in my city.  She responded that she was hoping to find a husband, but as of yet had no luck.  She was wondering if there were any men out there who would consider her. 

It was Christmastime so I took her all around my city, sharing with her the houses that were lit up and decorated.  We also stopped at a couple of parks and had dinner together.  Not to put too fine a point on it, she invited herself to stay over at my place.  I explained that I was just out of a relationship and still hurting and did not consider that to be appropriate as I was not going to proceed with a relationship at this time.  Then she looks right at me and says:  "Am I not good enough to find a husband?"  Now this woman was very pretty.  She certainly looked the part of the beautiful Eastern European woman.  Then she asks me outright:  Why will you not marry me?  After doing a Shaggy moment "WHA OH!" I explained that had circumstances been different I would have loved to date her to find if we were compatible.

Here is my point:  There are a thousand reasons why relationships don't develop, or if they develop, don't work.  It is simply a numbers game.  Had timing been different, who knows?   I had to spend the next half hour on the way home explaining that sometimes things were just not meant to be.  Now, here is the bright side:  She did find someone.  Is happily married and has a child on the way. 

Sprotz's delusion that he cannot find a woman where ever he might be is just that.  It is a self-depreciating baseball bat that hits him in the face every time he thinks about meeting women.  I will tell you, Sprotz, if you are not someone's sad idea of a sock puppet, then you should find a buddy to double with, preferably Russian, and go out there and sow some wild oats.  Bet that in no time you will be tied up (well, not like ML likes to get tied up) and in a serious relationship.  Keep in mind, you can hire a coach.

[Trenchcoat]

Yes, American women are fine . . . if you are not wanting to trade up with respect to several criteria.

This is very true same for the better quality women in the UK also Sprotz. They know they are very attractive and it doesn't take them long to discover if they can put an alluring or at least pleasant personality across they can have loads of guys lusting over them. Eye a few guys up & give them the come on, great, they then have a queue of guys to choose from & not just the one on a take him or nothing else basis. As 2tallbill rightly states these girls get married off soon. Sprotz, even being included as one of the guys in the queue to choose from you would quickly be outclassed by the more extrovert socially savvy guys, the enormously rich guys & the pro athlete guys. The girls are looking for a top class guy just like we look for a beautiful hot chick. An introverted, socially unskilled, shy guy like yourself who locks himself away in his room relying on Mummy's income holds little interest for them. Sure if your attractive & there is chemistry there you are worthy of adding to the queue for them but only for the purpose of adding to the sense of demand they need to build up to get the guy who has all three qualities not just the one like you have. Trust me I've had this all my life, girls will give you interest but keep a bit of distance as they are really after some other guy, your just there to display that there in demand or at best a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc option. Think about it why would some hot chick want to go for a guy with a guy who is socially impaired when she can be living it up with a guy who excels on the social scene. That's why many of us are here FSU dating as we can't get what we want at home. Many US guys stuck in America isolated from the FSU dating scene would love to be in your shoes. In the FSU a western guy on a moderate income can be seen as a wealthy guy turning a one out of three guy like yourself into a two out of three guy. And for many FSW chicks who are in greater supply & competition from other FSW a two out of three ain't bad.

[BillyB]

So If I went to America, I would be consumed right away. Problem is, I've never been to America, and unable to go at the present time. So Russia isn't the top place for me to find a girl, America is.

Problem solved. No need to cry anymore. Come to America and the girls will fall all over you in your present condition.  Just go to the place where the girls like your style. No need for any self adjustment that would be difficult and time consuming.

[msmob]

2tallbill, I talked in private with Trenchcoat ,

I seriously suggest a second opinion.  Sorry, to both of you - but Trench simply is no expert on the FSU and dating FSU women..
 

[sprotz]

. An introverted, socially unskilled, shy guy like yourself who locks himself away in his room relying on Mummy's income

That is correct, how did you know?   Anyway, concerning what you said. when in a University, I hold the edge over most males, very luckily, because when I was in University in Malaysia, the females were heavily outnumbered by the males. There was competition. The situation was the same for the rest of the country. But many of the males were shunned by the girls because the girls liked me, even though I was too shy to do anything.
And when I was in University in Nizhny Novgorod, a smaller city in Russia, it was a bit better than St. Petersburg, there were more friendly, lively, giggly girls.

[Trenchcoat]

That is correct, how did you know?   Anyway, concerning what you said. when in a University, I hold the edge over most males, very luckily, because when I was in University in Malaysia, the females were heavily outnumbered by the males. There was competition. The situation was the same for the rest of the country. But many of the males were shunned by the girls because the girls liked me, even though I was too shy to do anything.
And when I was in University in Nizhny Novgorod, a smaller city in Russia, it was a bit better than St. Petersburg, there were more friendly, lively, giggly girls.

And yet you still didn't score. I've done much the same as you in the past just focused on the one out of three I tended to be rated in - Looks. But that alone rarely does it, the girl rarely makes all the effort in initiating conversation then driving the conversation. If you were to meet up with them after arranging to do so over the internet it takes away all the 'who shall make the first move' & paralysis of seeing someone you like but not knowing how to approach or what to say. Of course not all the women you meet will there be chemistry anyway so you can relax. If your meeting someone at a table in a cafe then there is no way conversation not automatically initiating ...'Are you so & so I am supposed to meet for blah, blah, blah' simple, sometimes may be a little awkward at first but its something we all have to put up with and no big deal compared to having to go up to someone you don't know and initiate conversation.

Sprotz I think you tend to boost your flagging self confidence/ego with having/seeing girl giggle & drool over you & visual masturbation of eyeing each other up by never actually dating girl. This I understand as I've done it myself a lot in the past and its good while it lasts but its only ever a temporary fix. I personally don't think your ever likely to actually connect with girls that you do this with in a relationship, you haven't so far, I never did either - the fixation & ego boost are too much like a something you have to feed off, it also tends to raise a barrier to actually approach the girl, you'll just be getting off eyeing each other up so much you'll be paralyzed in that moment. Once you have had a relationship through a meet up as suggested here then you may be able to overcome such a situation as you'll know you need to connect with the girl personality wise or there is no relationship. I don't know how old you are? but remember when you get quite old & it starts to show the number of giggly girls will start to fall away anyway. If you want a real relationship you have to take a route other than looking for that same scenario. I think St. Petersburg is the perfect place for you to do that, as you've noticed on the street in a big city like St. Pete's women avoid looking around at others a lot so your less likely to get suckered into the same trap & spend all your efforts visually masturbating from a far. Just message some normally looking women (not perfect looking photo shopped manikins) of the online dating sites given to you and start meeting up with some women, you'll feel better & more comfortable in St. Pete's once you've met a few of the women there. Good Luck!

And yes as Moby point out I'm far from the most experienced member here but I have a fair bit of experience from where you are coming from so I know what it feels like and what the problem is. 

[ML]

Bet that in no time you will be tied up (well, not like ML likes to get tied up) and in a serious relationship. 

Hey . . . where do I file a sexual defamation claim?

[Lily]

I like Russian girls, but since I moved here to St. Petersburg, I have been having trouble finding a girlfriend. Most of the girls are cold, aggressive and uncaring and they don't even look at me even though I'm a hot guy. The people are also generally rude, so being new, I don't have friends to help me out or anyone to turn to, can't find anyone willing to help, so I've been home alone crying continuously. I was thinking somewhere else, maybe Moscow could have friendlier girls, or some other smaller towns. Anyone who's been to Russia, please advise.

Hi sprotz,

I hear your pain. It sucks to be alone. It is a really heart wrenching to see happy couples cuddling around.

St Pete is far better place to find a girlfriend than Moscow. Moscow attracts all kind of ambitious career makers and gold-diggers from the whole Russia. As it has been noted here, a number of guys would kill in order to find themselves in the location where you are now.

I'd have a question. You say that most of the girls are cold, unfriendly, uncaring. What do you mean by that? what exactly are they doing that you perceive as being cold?

Russians are usually not smiling and happy looking as the Western people. There are no such thing as small talk, polite smile or being nice in order to look better. I'd call it Russian shell that hides treasures behind.

I think that if you make friends with people, they may eventually open up to you. Also please note, no one owes us love. This is so rare.

 

[sprotz]

You say that most of the girls are cold, unfriendly, uncaring. What do you mean by that? what exactly are they doing that you perceive as being cold?

It means that they show  a tough, frowning face, ignoring me like I don't exist, and talking aggressively, some sounding like they are depressed. And they seem uncaring and unhelpful. Even those that are lively and giggly also ignore me sometimes.
But this is much worse in Greater London, where some females were so aggressive and manly, naturally rude and savage, more aggressive than the men.
But for a short time I've been to Moscow, suddenly I find many girls staring at me, even making flirty comments to eachother about me behind my back. Typical natural behaviour of a home grown, middle class suburban girl.

[Lily]

Tough and frowning faces would, in my opinion, make one of Russian national landmarks It is only recently that I started noticing this. When I grew up in Russia, such faces were normal. In Russia, having a tough face was considered to be a respectful, good public behavior. Being respectful of people's privacy might have been seen by you as being uncaring and unhelpful. In Russia, smiling faces were historically seen as sign of immaturity or even stupidity.

I am glad that you were able to find people that you seem to like!

[2tallbill]

I am glad that you were able to find people that you seem to like!

Welcome back to the forum Lily

I had decided that you must have found a hunky Canadian Lumberjack to take
up all your free time.   

It's good to see you post

Bill

[Trenchcoat]

It means that they show  a tough, frowning face, ignoring me like I don't exist, and talking aggressively, some sounding like they are depressed. And they seem uncaring and unhelpful. Even those that are lively and giggly also ignore me sometimes.
But this is much worse in Greater London, where some females were so aggressive and manly, naturally rude and savage, more aggressive than the men.
But for a short time I've been to Moscow, suddenly I find many girls staring at me, even making flirty comments to eachother about me behind my back. Typical natural behaviour of a home grown, middle class suburban girl.

Glad you've noticed These are the type of woman I've only had access to for most of my life and you think you've got it bad in St. Pete's Its the result of feminism, the women here compete with the men for career's and in my opinion both lose out, but society at large has yet failed to realize that. The women here have not been brought up right with feminine traits being instilled with values of careers and the like and as such have become very aggressive. Like you say more aggressive than the men. Even the girls that are attracted to you here have a Love/Hate mentality towards you and this is not easy to broach for men like us who are not socially skilled, Finally someone realizes what I've been up against on here

Don't regard the females in St. Pete's as the same though Sprotz, they may look similar disposition from face value but as Lilly states there make up underneath will be completely different. Far more softer and gentle to those that get into a relationship with. For me after the reception I get from English girls back home its like a dream like world for me. The bit of outward tough exterior of first meeting is of ease to deal with compared to the attitude of women back home. Sometimes even getting into a discussion with my Sister is like try to talk to a rabid Rottweiler with rabies, lol.

[msmob]

Welcome back to the forum Lily


It's good to see you post

Bill

Quite..

The voice of reason ..  Now this IS a person whose advice carries weight, sprotz

[Jumper]

My family owns real estate that we rent out here, also I will do some Forex trading. 
I fear going out too often because, seeing all these couples walking, holding hands, and kissing and cuddling, is heart wrenching. Stuff that I always wanted to do but seems 100% impossible for me.

Desperation is like putting on really pungent  chick repellent cologne.
That is a huge problem.

  While it may seem impossible, it's not.men meet women every single  day.they also get shot down a lot.the only way you will get comfortable with that is to practice meeting people, and to understand you arnt for everyone, and every woman isnt for you.in fact it's highly unlikely a random person , is either meant for you,  or you for them. So what you've been doing doesnt work, boldly go where you havnt before. Be confident that while you may not be everyone's cup of tea, you are someone's.
 You also need to be happy and confident in yourself without any one else.
Like beo said, go out and do things YOU enjoy.
Be open to meeting people, but lose the desperation. It's not attractive to anyone .
 
I'm the ugliest guy here,  other than GQ.
Somehow we are both married.
If single either of us would be having fun in St Pete or LA or NYC or...
So hope springs eternal.

[BdHvA]

Where to find nice, friendly, caring, heavenly girls ?

To reply to the question at hand I would suggest heaven. I assume you can find this place.

[2tallbill]

Where to find nice, friendly, caring, heavenly girls ?

To reply to the question at hand I would suggest heaven. I assume you can find this place.

The OP should take up smoking!
Otherwise he might have to wait in 50+ years moping around his parents house
before getting to see his heavenly girls. If he takes up smoking then maybe he
can shave a few years off.

OR

He can write letters on Mamba each day meet a girl for tea, fumble around but eventually
get better at it, and with experience he will gain confidence eventually enough that he will
be able to find a good girl.

[Trenchcoat]

Sprotz, I certainly hope you are getting on better than you were, by now you should have met a fair few women. If you haven't managed that you have a real problem and I feel for you. Many guys would dream of being in your situation, in fact it's a situation I am trying to get into. So don't pass over in a good opportunity