Russian Women Discussion
RWD Discussion Groups => Starting Out => Topic started by: PARADOJAS on February 01, 2011, 10:25:59 AM
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I also posted this message over at "Odds and Ends."
A bit of background first: I was a member here about a decade ago. I've spent five weeks in St. Petersburg (1999) and a month in Donetsk, Ukraine. In Donetsk, I lived with a former girlfriend and got as far with the immigration process as the final interview in Warsaw before things imploded. That was in 2001.
Now in 2011 after another decade of dating American women, I am, to put it bluntly, fed up. (I'm sure the women I've dated would say the same about me.) I have a fairly simple lifestyle (by choice), tending toward living off-grid, growing organic food and creating as much as my own energy while retaining a reasonable amount of comfort. I'd like to find a site with Russian women --in the 40-50 age group--who might be into a similar lifestyle. I have enough assets to support a woman, but not enough to support more than one child. Any suggestions?
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Go to Singles.ru
Pull up the English version.
Pay around $12 to get premium membership for a month. This allows for detailed search options.
Tens of thousands of FSU women there.
Look for those who do not live in the major cities.
Best of luck to you.
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Thanks for the contact to singles.ru. I'll check it out.
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I also posted this message over at "Odds and Ends."
A bit of background first: I was a member here about a decade ago. I've spent five weeks in St. Petersburg (1999) and a month in Donetsk, Ukraine. In Donetsk, I lived with a former girlfriend and got as far with the immigration process as the final interview in Warsaw before things imploded. That was in 2001.
Now in 2011 after another decade of dating American women, I am, to put it bluntly, fed up. (I'm sure the women I've dated would say the same about me.) I have a fairly simple lifestyle (by choice), tending toward living off-grid, growing organic food and creating as much as my own energy while retaining a reasonable amount of comfort. I'd like to find a site with Russian women --in the 40-50 age group--who might be into a similar lifestyle. I have enough assets to support a woman, but not enough to support more than one child. Any suggestions?
It seems to me it'll be as difficult to find such a Russian woman, as it is to find such an American one, or even more difficult. The matter is that you obviously need a woman who likes and leads "green" lifestyle. It seems to me there are more such people in the USA in the first place, because it's a trendy way of living there now. Those, who prefer to lead such a lifestyle here, in FSU, usually don't have the Internet and a computer in general, because our villages differ a lot from American ones ;)
It seems to me that there must be women in the USA, who are also concerned about the environment and who'll be happy to share such a lifestyle with you. The odds of you finding such a woman in Russia using the Internet seem to be quite low, though.
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That's an excellent poit, Nat.
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Nat,
I totally agree with you--it's a shot in the dark. I was semi-engaged to a Russian woman for a while, and I guess the memories still linger. Most of the women I've dated recently are either too neurotic or have a very 9-5 structured lifestyle. Also, there is a preponderence of lesbians (not that there is anything wrong with that) that not only limits the amount of available women, but also is competition. What's a guy to do?
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Oh, I should add I live in rural northern New England.
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Hello PARADOJAS.
I really wish you the best of luck.
You are going to need it!
Living in North Miami Beach (Sunny Isles Beach) FL with literally thousands of FSUW all around me, I can state with complete confidence that most if not all of them have one thing in common (old or young)....they absolutely DEPLORE "villages".
A lot of them left (escaped) from villages in the FSU and have stated to both my wife and I on several different occasions that they would NEVER consider returning to that lifestyle again.
As others have already mentioned upthread, this is going to take a lot of time, money (many trips to the FSU) and patience on your part to find the "right" one.
GOB
PS...Just my suggestions: Learn some Russian, because you are looking for an uneducated village woman (little or no English skills). Probably with little access to the internet or modern technology (cell phone). Maybe do some searching in the "stans"?
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The largest barrier is likely the lack of understanding of the differences in a rural lifestyle in the U.S. compared to their frame of reference in the FSU. That is something that crops up quite often, even with people who simply live in smaller cities let alone in completely rural environments.
Perhaps you could describe it as living permanently in your dacha! :)
Then there is the possibility of someone from another culture feeling completely isolated in such an environment. The transition is often very difficult even in the city life that they are more used to. Moving from a large FSU city to a rural, offgrid homestead would be that much more of a shock.
On the other hand, I'm not so sure that trying to find a lady with little education or sophistication would be particularly simple either, for a whole host of other reasons.
However, there are people in the FSU who are somewhat more attuned to issues you may have in common. I suspect, for example, that you may find a higher acceptance rate for your chosen lifestyle among the vegetarians here in the FSU, to give but one example. Consciousness of conservation of resources is growing slowly here--so finding someone who shares an appreciation for your values and choices may be difficult but may not be completely impossible.
As I began, though, the single biggest barrier may be simply to get someone used to the idea that living in a rural environment does not necessarily mean even remotely the same thing as it might in the FSU.
David
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A lot of them left (escaped) from villages in the FSU and have stated to both my wife and I on several different occasions that they would NEVER consider returning to that lifestyle again.
Considering this, it probably makes more sense for the OP to look in big polluted cities like Moscow or St. Pete, for a woman who is fed up with her 9-5(6,7,8) job, daily commute in the crowded subway, 24/7 traffic jams, long sunless winters, and lack of escapes to nature. I bet there are quite a few - career ladies by necessity, gardeners at heart. :)
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My wife and I met a Russian woman last Summer in Northern Wisconsin who lives in what I would call a semi remote area. Can't see the neighbors houses and nearby town is about 1000 and 4 mi. away.
But is has tourists and some small sophistication. Her husband is an OTR driver and gone for a week at a time leaving her and her 8 year old son alone.
But they lack for nothing in creature comforts and she was going to get a driving license this past Fall. She will have her own car. It helps that she speaks good English.
When we were leaving her house my Russia wife remarked " I would never do that"!
This woman was from a city so your search might turn up something.
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Considering this, it probably makes more sense for the OP to look in big polluted cities like Moscow or St. Pete, for a woman who is fed up with her 9-5(6,7,8) job, daily commute in the crowded subway, 24/7 traffic jams, long sunless winters, and lack of escapes to nature. I bet there are quite a few - career ladies by necessity, gardeners at heart. :)
Also consider this:
The same woman that BF describes above (40's-50's, highly educated, sophisticated, Moscovite) is so miserable and ready to escape (because she has no other options available), she and her kid decide to "mule" you over to the GoodOl' USA (the land of milk and honey).
GOB
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The same woman that BF describes above (40's-50's, highly educated, sophisticated, Moscovite) is so miserable and ready to escape (because she has no other options available), she and her kid decide to "mule" you over to the GoodOl' USA (the land of milk and honey).
Are you suggesting there are no women who would sincerely trade their hectic big-city lifestyle for quiet New England countryside?
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There is "rural" and there is "remote". Like some parts of VT's Northeast Kingdom would be remote. When you say "off the grid". Just what do you mean? I know a girl who says she lives off the grid and she's got electric from the power company, cable tv, DSL, land and cell phones. She says it OTG because she has a well and septic?
A friend from Kiev (24) loves snowboarding and outdoor sports and likes living in/near ski resorts. Currently she and hubby relocated to Breckenridge, CO. She still likes cities but prefers to visit them, not live in them.
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Are you suggesting there are no women who would sincerely trade their hectic big-city lifestyle for quiet New England countryside?
BF...I am not arguing with you.
I can only say that out of the hundreds (no joking) of FSUW that my wife and I have come in contact with during the last 3 years of living in this Russian community (SIB), none would ever contemplate living the OP's lifestyle and I mean NONE.
Is there a potential partner for the OP in the FSU?
Yes...of course there is.
But he has his work cut out for him.
IMHO...He is better off finding an AW.
GOB
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I can only say that out of the hundreds (no joking) of FSUW that my wife and I have come in contact with during the last 3 years of living in this Russian community (SIB), none would ever contemplate living the OP's lifestyle and I mean NONE.
That's why I'm saying there's better chance of finding such among those who want to escape from big cities, not among those who want to escape, or have escaped, from a "village".
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I thought I had posted this already..guess not. I have a friend who lives in Vermont. Near the Canadian border. A small town and his place is kind of isolated on a lake. And his RW wife simply loves it.
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I thought I had posted this already..guess not. I have a friend who lives in Vermont. Near the Canadian border. A small town and his place is kind of isolated on a lake. And his RW wife simply loves it.
Remote is relative as well. This small town in Vermont would only be 100-or-so miles away from Montreal, a city with over 3.5 million people :popcorn:
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The largest barrier is likely the lack of understanding of the differences in a rural lifestyle in the U.S. compared to their frame of reference in the FSU. That is something that crops up quite often, even with people who simply live in smaller cities let alone in completely rural environments.
yup. My wife would have died a slow agonizing death at the prospect of living in a dreadful, gawd-forsaken small California village called Santa Barbara. I didn't just described the 'village' to her, I actually drove her there and spent a weekend just so she can see it for herself...of course, almost 6 years later, she can only wish these days. :P
The one thing I personally think that's on your side is the age set you're looking at. However, still be cautioned because just the idea of USA to many (not all) suggests metropolis.
In all, I tend to agree with Nat's perspective. Also ask Doll, a RW member here. IIRC, she is a convert to rural living...maybe she can sway a suggestion or two...
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btw - let her know you're plot of land is highly conducive to sunflower palnts and you harvest plentiful seeds every year ;)
That may help.... :P
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Plenty of single 'tato growin' Buba's 'round the dachas last I saw. :brightidea:
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I think you'll find one if you look hard enough. Write an honest profile, post it someplace with plenty of gals (I recommend EM) and then spend the time screening them to be sure they understand what you wrote and are in agreement with your future plans. You need patience and be determined to listen hard for sincerity in what the women tell you before hopping on planes to race over with a suitcase of gifts and a ring in your pocket.
Best of Luck!
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I agree with Blues Fairy. I know a few Moscow women that are exactly as she described. Some have already escaped the big city for more relaxed country life. (They're just a bit too young for ya, sorry).
The bonus is that a lady from Moscow, 40-50, with a decent career, likely owns some property and would have no problem coming over on a tourist visa. Makes me think of my friend's mama and her friend who came out to the US this past summer.
Sure, it's a longshot, but you only need to find one. I also recommend singles.ru. Lots of ladies there.
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a very 9-5 structured lifestyle
What is it?
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Also ask Doll
I am here :D
One thing is to live "in the woods" like we do ( our house IS in the woods, 10 acres, can see the neighbors' houses in winter only where there are no leaves)))) but my husband does not make money farming (neither do I), another thing is to really farm.
Yes, I was raised in a big city, lived there for 43 years, moved to this area and love it. Not sure if I want to do farming. :D
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Ahhhh...that's me letting out a breathe of air. Really good discussion going on which is exactly what I hoped for. A little more background on my situation. The thing about living in VT is you can be very rural without being remote. The state lies in a triangle between NYC, Boston and Montreal. Also there is Burlington, home to UVM and a fair-size Russian emigree population. Even in Burlington, you can be out in a wilderness setting in 20 minutes as VT is the most rural of the 50 states (rural being defined as the percentage of population living in the country as opposed to the city). I am currently at my son's in Rutland, VT's fourth largest city, and the population here is under 17,000. A big town here is one that is over 5,000.
As to living off grid: solar panels, wind turbine, outdoor wood furnace, heated greenhouses, propane and gas generator backups, lots of gardens, apple trees, berry bushes, plenty of mushrooms in nearby woods, and yes, lots of sunflowers for seed lovers, all on a dirt road with neighbors--you just can't see their houses. Definitely dacha-style living, but with a bit more creature comforts perhaps.
More later, the dinner bell just rang...
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Not sure if I want to do farming. :D
GOB
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Ok, my opinion on OP: I don't know any difference (in this regard) between AW and RW.
What exactly is the man "fed up" with? What American women did not like about it is what RW won't like.
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GOB
(http://yoursmileys.ru/tsmile/watermelon/t1721.gif) (http://yoursmileys.ru/t-watermelon.php?page=1)
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As to living off grid: solar panels, wind turbine, outdoor wood furnace, heated greenhouses, propane and gas generator backups, lots of gardens, apple trees, berry bushes, plenty of mushrooms in nearby woods, and yes, lots of sunflowers for seed lovers, all on a dirt road with neighbors--you just can't see their houses. Definitely dacha-style living, but with a bit more creature comforts perhaps.
More later, the dinner bell just rang...
I have all this minus farming.
(http://yoursmileys.ru/psmile/profession/p0105.gif) (http://yoursmileys.ru/p-profession.php?page=1)
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Just kidding. Outdoor furnace was my husband's dream- didn't work with me :D
Right now we are placing it in the house as decor. :D
He is thinking of a green house but "sure honey, but you are the one who will work there" :D
(he won't))))).
Our jobs have nothing to do with "rural style", we do have the garden but just because I love gardening (30 min after work :D).
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Okay, back from dinner...
ECOCKS or anyone else--what is EM? Is that a Russian women site?
Doll: a 9-5 structured lifestyle is someone who needs to go to work everyday for 8 hours. They work at the same job, maybe get 2-4 weeks off a year and their time is mostly structured, ie, predetermined.
As to the issue of being "fed up" with American women. Okay, I'm speaking in generalizations here:
Most of the women I've met over the last decade have been on dating sites. These women, with just a few exceptions, have either misrepresented themselves with old photos, have fibbed as to their level of physical fitness (describing themselves as average weight or athletic body type, when in fact they are from 20-40 pounds overweight), don't know what they want, are neurotic to the point of making Woody Allen look serene, want a guy who makes at least a 100 grand a year, or are into the material world to such an extent that when the sh*t hits the fan and they figure out food doesn't grow in Safeway, they'll latch on to whomever can put food into their mouths. Again, this is a generalization. I've also met some great women. Unfortunately, their lifestyles don't match mind, ie, "9-5 structured lifestyle."
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figure out food doesn't grow in Safeway
(http://yoursmileys.ru/bsmile/fun/b0260.gif) (http://yoursmileys.ru/b-fun.php?page=3)
Of course not- it grows at Redner's market
http://www.rednersmarkets.com/index.php
(I shop here))))))
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PARADOJAS, you can find the woman you want , but you need to really disclose your lifestyle. She needs to know what to expect. "Dacha" is not really what you think and farming is not "dacha".
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Paradojas I'm familiar with your living situation and looking for a woman who will appreciate, or tolerate until she learns to appreciate, living in a non-city location. One thing that resonated with me in the replies was Jooky mentioning it only takes one. The reason this is important to remember is it's a tough sell when presenting yourself as an option for a Russian woman to choose. I think you will need to work hard on describing your situation accurately and how a woman would fit into routines there. Location, interactions with others, shopping, mobility, contact with people she will be leaving behind, education options for children. They will have many things to consider that may be 'new' to them, they don't know how to relate to 'remote' in our context. Deep villages, to them, are HELL! To us they are desirable. It's not much effort to drive to a city for city things. It's the living part of being remote that you will need to be clear about, for them. They will also be removed from lots of other people and will want to know what your like personally (as they will be trapped in the woods with you) and why the heck are you are living out in the forest and not a city.
The search is a difficult one. The agencies and websites are geared to where most of the people are living and want to live, in a city. If you choose a specific area in Russia/fsu you may find an agency you can pay a little more to for specialized services, such as advertising in a newspaper and offering translation services/internet interface for rural women. You may find someone from a city who likes the 'country' and grew up there. Some of the other members have good options as some women are tired of cities and would adapt well to living in a deep village or worse. You do have a nearby town, right? You don't run around in camo gear do you? You have satellite TV and internet and all that good stuff, right? Don't tell them you have goats, even if you do.
I know several Russian/Ukrainian women who have lived in small towns here and they don't like them. They will tolerate one that's 80,000+.
Our daughter started school this fall and a year ago we bought a short sale home and have been fixing it up in a larger town. It's 80,000+ population. My wife still likes the small town and we switch off on where we spend weekends as my work is still in a small resort town in the mountains. The small town house only has wood heat. She really likes this. Also have good trout fishing 3 blocks away in a lake which she loves, I can take it or leave it as I'm from near the coast where real fish live in the rivers/ocean.
Even with living in a small town we frequently go to the City, Portland, Salem, the coast, business trips, etc. Maybe you can develop a series of fairly standard letters that point out these things to her/them and your situation. The first letter will be key in setting the choice for them to decide if they want to know more.
Hope you find a good one. Or at the least get a few bites. Your going to have to do some sorting out in the responses and clearing up misconceptions about your lifestyle when they occur. Good luck with sorting through the process and finding what your looking for, or something tolerably close.
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Don't tell them you have goats, even if you do.
(http://yoursmileys.ru/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif) (http://yoursmileys.ru/b-fun.php?page=1)
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Okay, back from dinner...
ECOCKS or anyone else--what is EM? Is that a Russian women site?
Doll: a 9-5 structured lifestyle is someone who needs to go to work everyday for 8 hours. They work at the same job, maybe get 2-4 weeks off a year and their time is mostly structured, ie, predetermined.
As to the issue of being "fed up" with American women. Okay, I'm speaking in generalizations here:
Most of the women I've met over the last decade have been on dating sites. These women, with just a few exceptions, have either misrepresented themselves with old photos, have fibbed as to their level of physical fitness (describing themselves as average weight or athletic body type, when in fact they are from 20-40 pounds overweight), don't know what they want, are neurotic to the point of making Woody Allen look serene, want a guy who makes at least a 100 grand a year, or are into the material world to such an extent that when the sh*t hits the fan and they figure out food doesn't grow in Safeway, they'll latch on to whomever can put food into their mouths. Again, this is a generalization. I've also met some great women. Unfortunately, their lifestyles don't match mind, ie, "9-5 structured lifestyle."
EM is Elena's Models. Overkill your profile emphasizing the lifestyle you live in and don't let them tell you that they understand. MAKE them talk it out repeatedly to avoid misunderstanding and false expectations.
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FWIW...........When I was searching for a lady from the FSU, I contacted quite a number of them in writing, by phone, translator and in person. Whenever any of them, I mean all of them, learned that my family had a farm outside of town, they immediately wanted to know the following:
A. Do you live there on the farm
B. Do you grow crops there and work the soil
C. Are you a farmer also
Once they found out this farm is rented and only used by my family for "being in nature", they were all appropriately relieved I think. None of them had romantic notions about rural or farm living as a Western person would have. It is an entirely different concept in FSU countries associated with hard living, hard work, backwardness, not desireable to live in such places. Many of the women live in cities and plant vegetable gardens on family plots or farms during the growing season. They return to harvest these vegetables. It is tradition in thier society, families and also a necessity in many cases. I had one woman tell me that she hoped that once she found her husband that she would never have to dig potatoes again in her lifetime. I told her we buy them in the store.
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I had one woman tell me that she hoped that once she found her husband that she would never have to dig potatoes again in her lifetime.
I understand her.
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Not sure why I keep having visions of Jed Clampett....................... :-\ Why did the first FSU woman relationship implode?
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Maybe a woman from Peru or Ecuador would suit you better.
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Maybe a good interpreter/translator would be a good idea initially to help you explain things to any prospective partner and help you with your profile.
Not sure why I keep having visions of Jed Clampett....................... :-\ Why did the first FSU woman relationship implode?
Problem solved then, they'll probably end up in Beverly Hills 8)
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Maybe a woman from Peru or Ecuador would suit you better.
I think so.
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Humm, It seems to me that many RW enjoy their time at the dacha many also love growing veggies and the like. Maybe it is just finding the right one.
All RW seem to like things natural. They want their coats made from natural mink or silver fox and those $ 400.00 pointy shoes made or natural leather not that synthetic stuff. They want real natural food not the chemical concocted stuff we eat. They even like it if a guys hair and teeth are natural and not the kind you take off our out.
Actually I think out there somewhere in the FSU are a number of women who would love that. They are probably in the minority, maybe a small minority but if you search hard and long you will find her.
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Humm, It seems to me that many RW enjoy their time at the dacha many also love growing veggies and the like. Maybe it is just finding the right one.
All RW seem to like things natural. They want their coats made from natural mink or silver fox and those $ 400.00 pointy shoes made or natural leather not that synthetic stuff. They want real natural food not the chemical concocted stuff we eat. They even like it if a guys hair and teeth are natural and not the kind you take off our out.
It has nothing to do with farming.
Like I said, I do enjoy gardening.... for half an hours when I am in a mood :D
They do work at dachas but before and after they live in the cities which is a different life style.
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They do work at dachas but before and after they live in the cities which is a different life style.
My aunt is one of such women; she has a day job in town (head of immunology lab) and a dacha to which she rushes off with the first rays of spring sun. I guarantee you, if offered all amenities and independent income, she would happily relocate to a "farm" and forget all about her stressful job and commute.
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My aunt is one of such women; she has a day job in town (head of immunology lab) and a dacha to which she rushes off with the first rays of spring sun. I guarantee you, if offered all amenities and independent income, she would happily relocate to a "farm" and forget all about her stressful job and commute.
Have you ever been to a real American farm? Watched how they live? I mean how their days are?
I have. No, thank you. :D
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Have you ever been to a real American farm? Watched how they live? I mean how their days are?
I have. No, thank you. :D
I have and I did, your condescending tone is not necessary. My husband and I are actually searching for a decent farm lot and house in NC. Land is always valuable; "they don't make any more of it". :)
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Like I said, we live "in the woods" but it all depends of what we do (for living).
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:-X
Have you ever been to a real American farm? Watched how they live? I mean how their days are?
I have. No, thank you. :D
How do they live? In Canada, farming is big business and most farmers who live solely off of farming run million dollar operations. Most farmers that I know drive the latest puck-up trucks, live in big houses and will also travel to Mexico for vacations. The smaller farms are generally "hobby" farms where someone has a job that actually pays the bills.
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Like I said, we live "in the woods" but it all depends of what we do (for living).
I think that Doll hit the nail on the head. There is a huge difference between say a programmer who works from home and lives in a rural area and a farmer who grows vegetables in his greenhouses in the same rural area. Both men don’t have a structured 9-5 lifestyle, but their lives must be very different…
I agree that the original poster should be very honest in his introductory letters about his way of life and his expectations for his future partner. It would be a red flag for me if a man would have stated pretty clearly that he wouldn’t be happy if his future wife decided to have a regular job outside the house. I prefer to have a choice.
As for the location where the OP lives, it is really pretty in my opinion. I drove from Ticonderoga (took a ferry) down to CT through VT last fall, and the scenery was breathtaking.
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Hi everyone and thanks for all the great input--a special thanx to Planner for that long and well-thought out response.
I've been shoveling snow all morning so that is why it has taken me a bit of time to respond. First of all, I am not a farmer. I climb trees for a living. However, I do like to grow my own food because I like knowing where it comes from. Also, it's always nice to have a little surplus to use for bartering at farmers' markets, like some hard apple cider and berry pies. I also know a bit about dachas and the role they play in Russian/Ukranian society, so I am not confusing that with farming.
I agree that the most important thing is to be completely upfront, to the point of overkill, when describing my lifestyle to a prospective mate. Take photos of the house and property, etc. I also agree that my search may be more suited to a woman from say Nicarauga, Honduras, Cuba or one of the poorer SA countries. Having said that, there is no doubt in my mind that the are women from the FSU who would find a lifestyle which I have described as very desirable. The problem of course is locating them, and that is why I started this thread.
As to why my past relationship with a former girlfriend imploded, I really don't think that is germaine to this discussion. I'll just say that after spending a month with her at her apartment in Donetsk, I saw enough red flags to call things off.
When I went to St. Petersburg in 1999 on a one-way ticket and a three-month visa, I put a personal ad (in both English and Russian) in the St. Petersburg Times which included a piece of poetry I had written my first day in the city. I was in Piter for 5 weeks, staying at the youth hostel, and I received a lot of responses and had a great time while there. I was even able to see the Kirov Ballet at the Marinsky and get in for the Russian price. Even though I am a bit frugal and travel on the cheap at times, I took it as a personal challange to pass myself off as Russian--the trick was not to smile when handing the tickets to the babushka guarding the entrance. But I digress...I think a good stratergy would be to make contacts thru dating sites, etc, before going there and also do a bit of traveling and make direct contact. Fortunately, my unstructured lifestyle allows for this.
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Oh, I almost forgot. I wanted to ask the Russian women here if they've had any expierence with chaga. It thrives here in the hills quite well.
RJ
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I haven't.
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I agree that the most important thing is to be completely upfront, to the point of overkill, when describing my lifestyle to a prospective mate.
The good thing is that you don't have to please all Russian women, or even most Russian women, you just have to find one woman who will love you and will share your interests and a desire to have the same lifestyle as you do.
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Paradojas:
FWIW. My wife was born in Kharkiv, second largest city in Ukraine. She was the head of a pediatric department at a city hospital. My SIL teaches physics. My FIL was the head engineer at an engine manufacturing plant. All lived in the city. After the implosion of the former Soyuz they all decided to move to the village. They love it there. My wife has been to Rutland (in the summer) and she loved it. As a matter of fact, as soon as she starts practicing medicine next year she wants me to find a nice secluded piece of land and build a house. As she says, she loves nature.
Oh, BTW, my SIL does most of the farming at her parents house which is around the corner from her house. Her house is twice as big as mine.
Hope this helps.
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Have you ever been to a real American farm? Watched how they live? I mean how their days are?
I have. No, thank you. :D
You might want to get up from the computer and look out the window every now and then.
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Have you ever been to a real American farm? Watched how they live? I mean how their days are?
I have. No, thank you. :D
I have a friend that I met through my children. My son has a classmate whose father has a dairy farm, a 10 minute drive from my house. I live 8 miles away from downtown Albany, the capital of NY state. I've been to his house which is huge and located in a very nice hill overlooking the capital district. I know how he lives and how he runs his farm. He has work all year round. Farmers who grow crops, at least in the Northeast are part-time. And every time I drive past by one of them, they have very nice houses in nice properties. I guess you are more of a city slicker. :)
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I wholeheartedly agree that there is a "butt for every bucket". As to whether yours is in the FSU remains to be seen but, I wish you all the luck in finding her. Lifestyles such as yours in the U.S. is usually one of choice. You choose it, why not a FSUW? Explaining it to possible candidates likely to the point of ad nausea would be highly recommended. Also, quite likely many women you encounter in this pursuit will wonder and consider you strange for making such a choice. I'd wager that you could find some that would share your passions but, I suspect many that wouldn't.
Good luck in any event
In the same vein, one of my favorite new reality shows "Flying Wild Alaska" had a man and his wife who live deep in an Alaskan National forest, 350 miles from the nearest road. They have a pilot fly them into civilization once a year for supplies, business and such and for this he maintains an 800 foot landing strip. Now that is dedication to the cause. :)
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The great mystery for me . . . .
Why after 20 or more years after collapse of FSU and after 20 or more widespread freedom of information and after 20 or more years of widespread internet interactions between FSUW and WM . . . .
do FSUW not fully understand that life in western village, small city and medium size city has virtually zero in common with life in FSU village, small city or medium size city??????
Anyone have answer to this??
And remember, this false thinking is from women, who most of the men here think, are somehow quite smart or clever.
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People know what they know.
They still swear sitting in a draft near a fan or open mashrutka window will make you sick to the point of death too.
It will take another generation or two before these things go away.
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I have to agree with ECOCKS. I almost got tossed off Tanya's balconey in Moscow for whistling "Do It Again" by Steeley Dan in her house. She said whistling in the house could make all her valuables disappear. I told her I only wanted her bronze bust of Stalin to vanish. So it goes...
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The great mystery for me . . . .
Why after 20 or more years after collapse of FSU and after 20 or more widespread freedom of information and after 20 or more years of widespread internet interactions between FSUW and WM . . . .
do FSUW not fully understand that life in western village, small city and medium size city has virtually zero in common with life in FSU village, small city or medium size city??????
Anyone have answer to this??
It works vica verca same way.
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Hi, Paradojas,
few cents from me (ok, i know it's more like $1.99, not just few cents 8)). About your ideal wife and about your life.
How do you imagine the standard/regular day for your future wife together with you?
What time does she wake up?
What does she do all day?
What does she wear?
Does she cook?
What does she cook?
Does she do the cleaning in the house? How does she do it?
Do you time how many minutes you take shower?
What kind of shower do you have?
What is the average temperature of the shower when you take it?
Do you monitor your energy use?
Do you sell generated electricity back to the grid?
Do you drive car?
How many gallons of gas do you use per month?
Is there a public transportation in your area?
How many times per year do you shop for clothes and where?
If you buy grocery products - what do you buy?
Do you go to church? What kind of church?
How many pairs of shoes do you have?
What kind of washer/dryer do you have?
Do you monitor your water usage/water meter?
How often do you do laundry?
What kind of lamps do you have at home?
What is the average temperature in your home during winter months?
When do you start heating your home?
What kind of blanket do you have for your bedroom?
What size of bed?
How much time do you spend at computer per day?
What kind of soaps/shampoos are you buying for yourself?
Will your wife have her own computer or use yours?
Will she watch TV?
What will be her monthly spending (possibly in the form of allowance from you) on body lotions, beauty products, & shampoos?
Do you mind the way women's hands look when they do farming full-time?
Will your future wife have children?
What school will they go to?
Whom will they play with?
Will they do any extracurricular activities? sports? art classes? music?
Do you play musical instruments?
Do you do crafts? what kind of?
What will happen if your wife starts gaining weight? will you offer her a low-nutrition diet?
What will happen if your wife will gain weight to the point of being 40lbs overweight? and will not be able to lose it?
What if she gains weight during pregnancy?
What kind of health insurance will your wife have?
How much time does it take to get to the nearest hospital from your home?
What kind of birth control will your future wife be using?
Are you going to split the household chores? What will you do and what she will do?
Do you expect her to be earning money? How much?
If you do not expect her to be earning money - how are you going to give her access to your money? Up to what limit?
How many other people (except you) will your wife see on average during a week? a month?
Do you invite friends to visit your home? how often? What do you do during these visits?
Do you visit your friends' homes? how often?
What do your friends do?
How many books (approximately) do you have at home?
What kind of books do you have at home?
How many books do you buy per year? (on average)
How do you learn about news?
Do you read printed newspapers? Read them online? Watch TV? Listen to radio? Other options?
How do you normally spend Christmas? New Year? Your birthday?
How many times per month (or per year) do you dress up?
How many times per month (or per year) do you wear formal shoes?
Do you go to movies? What kind of? How often?
Do you go to concerts? What kind of? How often?
Do you eat out?
How many times per months will your wife call her relatives back home?
How many more $ per months will you be spending to phone bills (comparing to what you are spending now)?
These are just few questions from the top of my mind.
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Wow ! Almost like a deposition.
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Do you mind the way women's hands look when they do farming full-time?
First, I will be up front and say that I grew up on a farm and that my mother and my grand-mother as well as all my aunts were "farming full-time." Their hands are/were perfectly fine.
Second, I wonder whether people here, Russian and other, have the foggiest what modern farming involves. In Canada and the United States it no longer involves mules and one-bottom plows. Even an average farmer will often have thousands of acres under cultivation and the tractors and combines they use will be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. So, even if a woman was farming full-time, what this would mean is that she would be spending most of her time sitting in a cockpit of a very large piece of machinery.
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBhuGXwDEgE[/youtube]
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First, I will be up front and say that I grew up on a farm and that my mother and my grand-mother as well as all my aunts were "farming full-time." Their hands are/were perfectly fine.
Second, I wonder whether people here, Russian and other, have the foggiest what modern farming involves.
Misha, please, don't start the discussion "oh those Russian don't have the foggiest view..."
1. The OP does not take a woman from the farm. He looks for city girl.
2. The OP discusses himself as living off-the grid and being environmentally friendly to its extreme. As a moderate environmentalist myself, I can assure you that modern farming is predominantly environmentally unfriendly. I am also sure that neither you, nor I, have a clear idea how in reality OP's life is organized and how does he grow his organic produce.
3. OP, judging from his description, isn't even a real farmer. He just lives off-the grid and tries to have self-sustaining and independent production-consumption cycle. Have he stated that he owns thousands of acres?
So please, don't roll your eyes and sigh "oh those dumb Russians..." OK?
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There you go confusing everyone with reality and facts again.......sigh.
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Mies, reread my post and you will see that I specified Russians AND OTHERS.
Besides, what is the relationship between modern farming of any kind and a woman's hands?
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Mies--here's my two cents' worth--I think you've got too much time on your hands.
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Second, I wonder whether people here, Russian and other, have the foggiest what modern farming involves.
I do and if you track around the Urals a bit you'll find plenty of modern (albeit American for the most part) broadacre farming equipment.
http://video.biocenter24.com/video/yo78G-Yav20/John-Deere-9430-in-Urals.html
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Well I had two boyfriend farmers and a couple of farming friends. What can I say? Nice cars, big houses, land, quiet rural locations, tons of money. Great. However, this is NOT what makes a lifestyle. Lifestyle is working around the clock in season, seasonal workers in your garden half a year, dirty house (busy single man + house help+huge old house=dirty huge old house), no holidays in summer. Unfriendly locals in a nearby village who's idea of a foreign person is a polish farmworker who has to point out at stuff in the shop. Ah yes, remember talking to a couple in a village pub who were saying "We are still outsiders, we only moved here 12 years ago"
Another thing is remoteness. It's England so you can not really be isolated if you can drive. Still one can feel lonely in a remote location.
I would not hesitate dating a farmer again but I DO NOT find this lifestyle attractive at all.
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Lifestyle is working around the clock in season, seasonal workers in your garden half a year
...and having the rest of the year to do whatever you want :popcorn:
dirty house (busy single man + house help+huge old house=dirty huge old house)
In Western Canada, farm houses are generally no older and no worse on average than in the suburbs. I wager the same is true for the USA and Australia.
no holidays in summer
Mexico and Cuba are pretty nice in the winter :evil:
Unfriendly locals in a nearby village who's idea of a foreign person is a polish farmworker who has to point out at stuff in the shop.
Very British. Most farmers in Western Canada are the descendants of Ukrainian, German and a host of other Eastern Europeans :-X
Another thing is remoteness. It's England so you can not really be isolated if you can drive. Still one can feel lonely in a remote location.
One can also feel lonely in the middle of Times Square :)
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How did this thread become one about farming? My original post was about finding a woman who would like a "rural" (as in not a city) lifestyle. Perhaps I should have written "country" rather than "rural." Again, I am NOT A FARMER. In fact, I don't want to be a farmer. I just like growing my own food, just like some folks do in their dachas. I like the "rural" lifestyle because it slows down life. There are not all the distractions, pollution and crime one finds in the city. You have time to reflect about life and your place in it. There is a direct connection between you and the earth. My ex Tanya told me at her friend's dacha in Peredelkino, "Russian people are true peasants of earth." She then went on to give me a dazzling display of the proper technique of weeding a garden row with a hoe, all dressed in a bikini, sunhat and work boots.
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...and having the rest of the year to do whatever you want :popcorn:
Nah, the rest of the year you fix what was broken in season ha ha.
You beat me up on other points though :-)
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Nah, the rest of the year you fix what was broken in season ha ha.
The guys you dated were clearly not very good mechanics ;)
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Mexico and Cuba are pretty nice in the winter :evil:
Aha. Three weeks in the sun instead of countless summer evenings with a drink in hand, nice long walks without a need for a coats, trips to the sea at evenings and weekends? Not exactly a replacement.
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The guys you dated were clearly not very good mechanics ;)
Well, one was into restoring antique tractors....
Another one I only dated during summer but I know he had plans for installing a totally new heating system and rebuilding the house...
Problems with farmers throughout the world they work way too hard.
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Problems with farmers throughout the world they work way too hard.
The same could be said of corporate lawyers, doctors, entrepreneurs... ;D
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Here's a short story, abbreviated, entitled: "The Lawyer and the Handyman." I think Dostoyevskii wrote it between turns at the roulette table in Paris.
There once was an aristocrat named Pavel and his beautiful wife Maria. Pavel was a wealthy land owner who owned quite a few serfs who he enjoyed humiliating. Maria was many years younger than Pavel and was having an affair with Sasha, a local workman. The story revolves around Pavel's expensive carriage which was constantly breaking down. Seems Maria was sabotaging the carriage which necessitated Pavel continually hiring Sasha to come to the estate and make repairs. Turns out, Sasha was quite the handyman,
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.
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Mies--here's my two cents' worth--I think you've got too much time on your hands.
oh yeah?
no, i just think and type fast. :P
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Isn't it interesting how some threads like this one can seem to take on a life of their own?
For Misha--farming varies greatly depending upon the location. Many farms are much smaller than what you might be used to in the Plains grain farm areas. Most, in fact, are much smaller than that.
In this case, however, the OP lives in New England, where as far as I am aware there are no really large farms. In many places, in fact, the fields are quite small and often bordered by rock walls created from the rocks extracted over the years in the fields themselves. Some very nice dairy country, I believe.
However, an off-grid homestead in a rural location is quite another matter. Some have animals and almost all have gardens of one sort or another. Being off the electric grid can mean anything from having little or no electric power to having as much as an on-grid home would have--and everything in between. A typical pattern in New England might often include some solar and/or wind power, often with a backup generator of some sort. Those who are fortunate to have appropriate water sources may even have a mciro-hydro setup the best ones of which may give ample electric power year round and preclude the need for other sources.
In other words, since the gentleman has not specified, it is fairly useless to speculate.
Also, we don't know the situation regarding neighbors or how close to population centers he may be.
I know some folks, for example, who live in quite rural locations, but who spend many weekends in town. This has been a pattern in many places for generations. One town in Texas I enjoyed many times is Fredericksburg, where there are many small "Sunday houses" built in the 19th century by just such folks--who lived on farms away from town, and who came into the town on weekends for shopping, socializing, and to attend church on Sunday mornings.
(I am a moderator of a Yahoo group called "offgridlivingandhomesteading" so I am exposed to a few thousand folks in similar circumstances to the OP, as it happens.)
David
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AbNrwdzYIg
:D
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Hey Mies,
They could have shot that video right here in Vermont. It looked like Ladies' Night at Snuffy's. And David, you're right. Outside of some large dairy farms in the Champlain Valley, the average farm here is small acreage, a good portion of which is forested and probably devoted to sugar bush. Myself, I want to grow apples and berries. I'm living in east central VT (the Upper Valley) right now, and Dartmout College is close by. So is the Appalachian Trail which runs right thru town.
RJ
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AbNrwdzYIg
:D
(http://yoursmileys.ru/tsmile/watermelon/t1731.gif) (http://yoursmileys.ru/t-watermelon.php?page=2><img)
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Hey Mies,
They could have shot that video right here in Vermont. It looked like Ladies' Night at Snuffy's. And David, you're right. Outside of some large dairy farms in the Champlain Valley, the average farm here is small acreage, a good portion of which is forested and probably devoted to sugar bush. Myself, I want to grow apples and berries. I'm living in east central VT (the Upper Valley) right now, and Dartmout College is close by. So is the Appalachian Trail which runs right thru town.
RJ
would you be attracted to a girl like that?
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Outside of some large dairy farms in the Champlain Valley, the average farm here is small acreage, a good portion of which is forested and probably devoted to sugar bush.
AKA hobby farms :popcorn: The kind of farm that you have if you have a job elsewhere, not that much different that Russian who will "farm" their dachas for extra food or simply pleasure...
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For Misha--farming varies greatly depending upon the location. Many farms are much smaller than what you might be used to in the Plains grain farm areas. Most, in fact, are much smaller than that.
And, usually, they are not used as the principle source of income. If I wanted, I could buy a few acres and grow some produce, but I wouldn't call myself a farmer ;)
In this case, however, the OP lives in New England, where as far as I am aware there are no really large farms.
If you look at the history of this region, you will see that many farms were abandoned and those who really wanted to farm moved westwards as these were marginal lands for the growing of crops. Trees cover what used to be fields in the 19th century. Dairy was the saving grace as it allowed for a more productive use of the land that was not ideally suited for the growing of crops....
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AKA hobby farms :popcorn: The kind of farm that you have if you have a job elsewhere, not that much different that Russian who will "farm" their dachas for extra food or simply pleasure...
Actually, some farms can be sufficiently lucrative on fairly small acreage--especially if they grow high-priced specialty vegetables for the higher end restaurants and more exclusive grocers in an area--things that are not otherwise readily available fresh, such as heirloom tomatoes, unusual salad vegetables, perhaps even more exotic mushrooms. Many of those items can be labor intensive and not yield to much mechanized cultivation. Another approach is to raise organic produce, again which can be labor intensive, but because it can bring a premium price, again it can often be done successfully on smaller acreage.
They can be very far from "hobby farms" in fact.
As for RJ, apples and berries can range from the "hobby" category to a full-on commercial situation depending upon the extent of planting. Personally, I would stick with the dwarf apples because they are so much simpler to maintain and harvest and because they produce much faster if there are not already mature trees on the property. Yield per acre, too, can be as large as with the bigger trees since there can be so many more of them.
Most of the places there should be good for various kinds of autumn squash as well, including some of the fancier varieties that can bring top dollar (although mostly as Fall season decor items).
David
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You're right on with your last post David. Growing speciality crops and organic food is just not a hobby, it can earn you enough dinero to get by, and in some cases, to live quite well. There are folks here making high priced quality cheeses, hard cider and even vodka. But it's also true many folks have other forms of income--logging, landscapping, snow plowing, computer work at home, etc. I've even heard some people grow ganga, but I wouldn't know anything about that.
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Why after 20 or more years after collapse of FSU and after 20 or more widespread freedom of information and after 20 or more years of widespread internet interactions between FSUW and WM . . . .
do FSUW not fully understand that life in western village, small city and medium size city has virtually zero in common with life in FSU village, small city or medium size city??????
Anyone have answer to this??
Because the difference in income, wealth, and lifestyle between those who live in these locations in the FSU is significantly greater than those who live in the US equivalents.
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Quote from: ManLooking on February 03, 2011, 10:15:51 AM
Why after 20 or more years after collapse of FSU and after 20 or more widespread freedom of information and after 20 or more years of widespread internet interactions between FSUW and WM . . . .
do FSUW not fully understand that life in western village, small city and medium size city has virtually zero in common with life in FSU village, small city or medium size city????
Anyone have answer to this??
Because the difference in income, wealth, and lifestyle between those who live in these locations in the FSU is significantly greater than those who live in the US equivalents.
Conner, you merely state in different words what I already said.
You did not address my 'why' question?
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ManLooking - I can answer your question "why".
Because:
1) Information is imperfect. That goes in both directions. You may not know details of life in FSU, people in FSU may not be aware of some tiny details of life in USA. Some things you can learn only through first-hand experience. Random examples: family restrooms, diapers change stations in public toilets, and disabled parking.
2) Even when information IS available, it is so abundant that you need to know what you are looking for, to be able to navigate in the endless universe of random facts. If you know nothing about life in a foreign country, you are going to select "search keywords" based on your experiences in your native country. But since countries are different, you cannot design a question that has never been a concern for you before, while is can be essential in the foreign country.
3) some information may not be fully available. See - I've asked the OP questions about his life, and he doesn't want to answer them and is rude. So what do I know about his lifestyle? Nothing. Even thought at the moment we both live in the same country.
About "0 in common" - you are not quite right. There certainly are some commonalities between rural vs. urban lifestyle in USA and FSU.
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Why after 20 or more years after collapse of FSU and after 20 or more widespread freedom of information and after 20 or more years of widespread internet interactions between FSUW and WM . . . .
do FSUW not fully understand that life in western village, small city and medium size city has virtually zero in common with life in FSU village, small city or medium size city????
Because the supposition is incorrect.
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Problems with farmers throughout the world they work way too hard.
I worked in the agricultural equipment business for a long time up to 20 years ago. Farming can be so many different things that there is no one standard. In the North East and some other places like Wisconsin it is mostly dairy farming and I wouldn't be a dairy farmer for all the money in the world. Farms are 100-200 acres. Up every morning at 3 to milk the cows. Vacations are about impossible and the money isn't great. The term for the grain farmers in the midwest and central stages was CBM farmers. That stood for Corn, Beans, Miami. They were often farming thousands of acres or more. They worked 90 days a year and had great incomes, sometimes in the millions. Of course there are other things such as I knew one family in CT that had a 24 acre pick your own vegetable farm and 4 families made a great income off those 24 acres.
I can't say life as a farmer ever appealed to me but those who do it often do it for love. It can be a nice profession and it caqn be very profitable.
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Say Mies, to answer your question of would I be attracted to any of the girls in the video you posted: I guess I'm more of an Ellie Mae Clampett (sp?) kind of guy.
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How did this thread become one about farming? My original post was about finding a woman who would like a "rural" (as in not a city) lifestyle. Perhaps I should have written "country" rather than "rural." Again, I am NOT A FARMER. In fact, I don't want to be a farmer. I just like growing my own food, just like some folks do in their dachas. I like the "rural" lifestyle because it slows down life. There are not all the distractions, pollution and crime one finds in the city. You have time to reflect about life and your place in it. There is a direct connection between you and the earth. My ex Tanya told me at her friend's dacha in Peredelkino, "Russian people are true peasants of earth." She then went on to give me a dazzling display of the proper technique of weeding a garden row with a hoe, all dressed in a bikini, sunhat and work boots.
ROTFLMFAO Boy, you sure know how to make an entrance! I'll try to find a picture of my inlaw's neighbor when I visited them last summer. She looks just like your description above. Hubba Hubba.
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In this case, however, the OP lives in New England, where as far as I am aware there are no really large farms. In many places, in fact, the fields are quite small and often bordered by rock walls created from the rocks extracted over the years in the fields themselves. Some very nice dairy country, I believe.
However, an off-grid homestead in a rural location is quite another matter. Some have animals and almost all have gardens of one sort or another. Being off the electric grid can mean anything from having little or no electric power to having as much as an on-grid home would have--and everything in between. A typical pattern in New England might often include some solar and/or wind power, often with a backup generator of some sort. Those who are fortunate to have appropriate water sources may even have a mciro-hydro setup the best ones of which may give ample electric power year round and preclude the need for other sources.
In other words, since the gentleman has not specified, it is fairly useless to speculate.
David
Geez David, it is obvious you haven't set foot in the Northeast. Next time you are around here I'll take you for a ride in central NY. NOT Central Park. If you don't like NY, I can take you to Maine. Great potatos there.
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Here's the ORIGINAL Eastern European babe in farmland America.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbk81X6WHA4
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Geez David, it is obvious you haven't set foot in the Northeast. Next time you are around here I'll take you for a ride in central NY. NOT Central Park. If you don't like NY, I can take you to Maine. Great potatos there.
No need. I was referring to Vermont, where the OP actually lives.
The fact that he already confirmed the description I gave as being accurate must have escaped you. ;)
David
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No need. I was referring to Vermont, where the OP actually lives.
The fact that he already confirmed the description I gave as being accurate must have escaped you. ;)
David
Not really. You see the Northeast is more than Vermont.
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.
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Here's the ORIGINAL Eastern European babe in farmland America.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbk81X6WHA4
brilliant :D
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Not really. You see the Northeast is more than Vermont.
Muzh,
It seems you aren't too much on reading these days. I did not say "the Northeast". I said "New England"--which most certainly does *not* include New York.
David
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No need. I was referring to Vermont, where the OP actually lives.
The fact that he already confirmed the description I gave as being accurate must have escaped you. ;)
David
Darn, Do you mean that people actually live in Vermont? I thought that was just a place people drive through in the fall when the leaves turn.
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Muzh,
It seems you aren't too much on reading these days. I did not say "the Northeast". I said "New England"--which most certainly does *not* include New York.
David
You are absolutely correct. You said New England. However, as an example of NE google NEWMOA and look what it stands for. You'll see NY AND NJ nicely embeded in there. And don't worry I can find hundreds of examples like that. Trust me, after 30 years living here I know for a fact "New Englanders" reluctantly include NY as part of NE. VERY reluctantly.
But of course, you have to live here. 8)
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You are absolutely correct. You said New England. However, as an example of NE google NEWMOA and look what it stands for. You'll see NY AND NJ nicely embeded in there. And don't worry I can find hundreds of examples like that. Trust me, after 30 years living here I know for a fact "New Englanders" reluctantly include NY as part of NE. VERY reluctantly.
But of course, you have to live here. 8)
Muzh,
I am aware that New York is part of the Northeast--simply not New England. And that, after all, was what I referred to.
I have acquaintances who live in Vermont, as it happens, so I was familiar in a general way with the area. They live not far from the Green Mountains National Forest, in fact.
David
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Hmmmm...I've got to weigh in here and back up David. New Englanders usually define the territory of consisting of Conneticutt, Mass, Rhode Island, Maine, New Hamshire and VT. Definitely NOT New Jersey. Upstate New York, particularly the Adirondaks, while having a similar topography and forest, still ain't New England. Even here in NE, it's divided into north and south. Maine, NH and VT being north, of course. Having said that, there is also the Northern Forest, and that includes northern New England plus the Adirondak region.
There's been some speculation here (particularly in VT, NH and parts of Maine) of secession, maybe in combination with Quebec. Vermont was an independent republic with its own constitution for 14 years before becoming the 14th state. The sentiment for secession is definitely here, but the logistics seem a bit overwhelming. Quite a few people I know feel like they've already seceeded though. Vermont is a pretty independent place, partly due to weather, topography (2/3 of the state is mountainous) and geography. I like living in a place where there are more dirt roads than paved ones, where I can go to the general store and find a twisted clevis in the same place I found it 20 years ago and where at Town Meeting Day anyone in town can stand up and voice his opinion about an issue about to be voted upon. Anyway, that's just some random thoughts...
As to the kind of Russian woman who might be attracted to such a life that I aspire to, maybe I'm whistling Dixie and need to climb into a time machine.
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I think you might find one, i mean there are millions odf people there.. :)
You just have to face that youir aspirations require a very specific individual..
even in your own culture..
so tyo find someone from another cuklture you have th4 added challenge of them truly iunderstaning the detail that life mitht include.
mies did point this out, by asking detailed questions a RW might ask in hopes of becoming informed.
I dont think the answers to them matter here at all.
what matters is that you would somwehow convey those answers to RW interested ,in a way they can relate to and understand your life ,lifestyle and understanding you.
Then they can sdee if they would be interested, or see how they might fit into your life , and you into thiers?
I wouldn't think it whistling dixie,I would think it an additional hurdle.
BF might be right in increasing your odds by contacting good english speakers, well educated from a large city,
that might have the desire for a simpler life.
This doesnt mean you wouldn't find women from other situations, a village, a provincial city,
that wouldnt be also interested..
it just seems your odds would be better in that direction, than in looking in areas where many aspire for the opposite.
as example:
searching in a Socal Mall filed with college aged valley girls,, you might find a minimalist/naturalist..?
but the odds are less than if attending a Sierra club or Earth First! meeting???
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Good points all, AJ.
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Isn't it a woman's 'thing' that bigger is better? LOL
btw my wife went from a RU 'town' of 150K to an IT 'town' of 15K
Funny though that although the disparity in population, the geographic area of our town in IT is slightly smaller than hers in RU.. 66 vs 54 sq km. None of those huge apartment complexes.
I'm sure she thinks this town is smaller, but in the end seems ok.
What she (and I) really hates is the lack of taxi's and mini busses here (she doesn't drive that much).
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Hi, Paradojas,
few cents from me (ok, i know it's more like $1.99, not just few cents 8)). About your ideal wife and about your life.
How do you imagine the standard/regular day for your future wife together with you?
What time does she wake up?
What does she do all day?
What does she wear?
Does she cook?
What does she cook?
Does she do the cleaning in the house? How does she do it?
Do you time how many minutes you take shower?
What kind of shower do you have?
What is the average temperature of the shower when you take it?
Do you monitor your energy use?
Do you sell generated electricity back to the grid?
Do you drive car?
How many gallons of gas do you use per month?
Is there a public transportation in your area?
How many times per year do you shop for clothes and where?
If you buy grocery products - what do you buy?
Do you go to church? What kind of church?
How many pairs of shoes do you have?
What kind of washer/dryer do you have?
Do you monitor your water usage/water meter?
How often do you do laundry?
What kind of lamps do you have at home?
What is the average temperature in your home during winter months?
When do you start heating your home?
What kind of blanket do you have for your bedroom?
What size of bed?
How much time do you spend at computer per day?
What kind of soaps/shampoos are you buying for yourself?
Will your wife have her own computer or use yours?
Will she watch TV?
What will be her monthly spending (possibly in the form of allowance from you) on body lotions, beauty products, & shampoos?
Do you mind the way women's hands look when they do farming full-time?
Will your future wife have children?
What school will they go to?
Whom will they play with?
Will they do any extracurricular activities? sports? art classes? music?
Do you play musical instruments?
Do you do crafts? what kind of?
What will happen if your wife starts gaining weight? will you offer her a low-nutrition diet?
What will happen if your wife will gain weight to the point of being 40lbs overweight? and will not be able to lose it?
What if she gains weight during pregnancy?
What kind of health insurance will your wife have?
How much time does it take to get to the nearest hospital from your home?
What kind of birth control will your future wife be using?
Are you going to split the household chores? What will you do and what she will do?
Do you expect her to be earning money? How much?
If you do not expect her to be earning money - how are you going to give her access to your money? Up to what limit?
How many other people (except you) will your wife see on average during a week? a month?
Do you invite friends to visit your home? how often? What do you do during these visits?
Do you visit your friends' homes? how often?
What do your friends do?
How many books (approximately) do you have at home?
What kind of books do you have at home?
How many books do you buy per year? (on average)
How do you learn about news?
Do you read printed newspapers? Read them online? Watch TV? Listen to radio? Other options?
How do you normally spend Christmas? New Year? Your birthday?
How many times per month (or per year) do you dress up?
How many times per month (or per year) do you wear formal shoes?
Do you go to movies? What kind of? How often?
Do you go to concerts? What kind of? How often?
Do you eat out?
How many times per months will your wife call her relatives back home?
How many more $ per months will you be spending to phone bills (comparing to what you are spending now)?
These are just few questions from the top of my mind.
A portent! Prophetic foreshadowing! Mies just showed you something... 8)
Yeah she did, and when you DO pique the interest of one of those enigmatic FSUW, you can expect all of these questions within a period of about thirty-five seconds, with the other 3,472,846 to come within the following 10 minutes. Well, perhaps an exaggeration, but only slightly. So, make yourself a list to ask as well. It freaks them out pretty good when you can fire yours back at them.
All this, of course, after 'em vittuls back 'ere by tha seemint pahnd!
:evil:
I do think your available selection pool (seemint notwithstanding) will be smaller but it only takes a pool the size of the right ONE. Jump in the haystack and sometimes that needle just finds its way right into your assssssking about your methods... are you focusing on just websites? Perhaps rural FSUW ladies could be reached by ads in regional papers?
At any rate.. good luck.. it sounds like a pretty cool lifestyle.
Dave
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What she (and I) really hates is the lack of taxi's and mini busses here (she doesn't drive that much).
My wife does not drive at all and also misses the mini buses. Plus she says we don't walk enough here to stay fit. So today at the health club she chastised me for parking too far away ! And then we went inside and walked on the track. I told her she is becoming an
American.
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Dave,
Your post reminded me of something:
Wife: Can I ask you a question?
Me: No, that's too dangerous.
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as example:
searching in a Socal Mall filed with college aged valley girls,, you might find a minimalist/naturalist..? but the odds are less than if attending a Sierra club or Earth First! meeting???
Well, I live in SoCal and I can tell AJ's being a bit of an optimist ;) Maybe Lindsay Lohan, but you'll likely need to grow a special kind of plant and a spirit distillery for the trade. SoCal is the capital market for illegal aliens and the majority of which work doing yard work. LOL.
But seriously fellas, I don't know the OP's age but if time is even a consideration, why not search for FSUWs living close to where he lives if his search criteria is confined to a FSUW? Why spend the time to import one who would most certainly not have a clear and distinct idea let alone experience about his overall lifestyles.
Heck, just for illustration alone as this thread clearly exemplified, even natives themselves had a tough time clearly visualizing the OP's description of his living environment let alone someone halfway across the world.
Just my 2 cents...
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But seriously fellas, I don't know the OP's age but if time is even a consideration, why not search for FSUWs living close to where he lives if his search criteria in confined to a FSUW? Why spend the time to import one who would most certainly not have a clear and distinct idea let alone experience about his overall lifestyles.
Just my 2 cents...
Because they are all spoiled, whereas we want 'fresh' RW to spoil..
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Because they are all spoiled, whereas we want 'fresh' RW to spoil..
More than likely BC...
But I was just reminded of a silly phrase that says...
You may take the (wo)man out of Moscow/a city, but you can never (the) Moscow/city out of the (wo)man.
Just saying...the OP's location being so relatively close to Brighton Beach, NY, Jersey, etc...literally a huge population of FSUWs, why waste the time going to FSU? He can just meet with someone/date from the general area, bring her to his abode and just take it from there...tough to do that on a K-visa...
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Thanks for all the suggestions. And Daveman, you're been on this site a while, haven't you? I seem to remember your name.
I fear Brighton Beach babes might find VT a bit "remote" after the bright lights of NYC.
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It's a good point GQ,
as the ones here would generally have a better grasp of both english ,and perhaps a better grasp of the
nuances of the OPs lifestyle
i'd only play devils advocate and say that "generally" ( yes i know i hate generalities)
the RW *here*,, most likely relocated here to improve thier lot in life,
so the odds of finding a minimalist/naturalist approach ,in that percentage of immigrants,
just *seems* it might be lower than it would be in the general FSU populace?
(although probably a very low % in both places)
The ones already here, with perhaps a better grasp of the situation ,and having the needed points of reference likely is a stronger point though.
hmmm.
but we are talking about love and romance afteralll?
me? it seems too thought out and contrived, of "where to look"
I'd just wing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the ol' *if she loves you ,and you love her, it will work out approach*
(yeah i know it's not realistic,and rather foolish)
but
I'm a born romantic , and Russians are *typically* pragmatic.
oil and water.. ?
:popcorn:
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What she (and I) really hates is the lack of taxis and mini busses here (she doesn't drive that much).
Contact I/O and arrange a local franchise ::) ;D?
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My wife does not drive at all and also misses the mini buses. Plus she says we don't walk enough here to stay fit. So today at the health club she chastised me for parking too far away ! And then we went inside and walked on the track. I told her she is becoming an
American.
:ROFL:
Thats funny and sounds like something I might hear
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I'm a born romantic , and Russians are *typically* pragmatic.
oil and water.. ?
:popcorn:
More like wolf and sheep... but heck you're a stud with an interesting lifestyle so you'll obviously get more mileage. Just maybe you'll be a 'keeper'.
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Just saying...the OP's location being so relatively close to Brighton Beach, NY, Jersey, etc...literally a huge population of FSUWs, why waste the time going to FSU? He can just meet with someone/date from the general area, bring her to his abode and just take it from there...tough to do that on a K-visa...
Question:
Anyone have rough stats on the proportion of FSU people in Brighton Beach area who are Jewish?
Nothing against Jewish people, but typically aren't Jewish women from FSU really quite different from Orthodox Christian FSU women?
Many here have suggested the route of finding FSUW already in USA.
But, if a large percent are Jewish, then this suggestion may not really be helpful for non-Jewish men.
I'm not an expert on this so just wondering. Any thoughts?
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I don't think a FSUW's being Jewish would be as much as an obstacle (unless she was extremely orthodox) as to what kind of a lifestyle she has become accustomed to. I know I've scared off more than a couple of women (Americans) from the Boston area just by mentioning I tend toward an off-grid lifestyle. I guess they imagine outhouses and candles. In addition, when asked about my religion, I describe myself as a zen-druid with severe pantheistic tendencies. I spent some time in Australia wandering the outback, and I became a convert to Aboriginal dreamtime. I'm also a worshipper of trees--hence the druid connection--and buddhism comes as close as any faith as to how I see and feel the cosmos.
Now you might think it would difficult to explain all of this to a FSUW, but I don't think so. I mean, if you only had a weekend with her--sure. I agree with someone here who said that the way to go about this is on the ground. Travel over there, pick up a bit of the lingo, be a traveler, not a tourist, live like the locals and put personal ads in the papers.
RJ
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Angel Eyes came from a city of a million people. She packed up and left her Friends, family,
language and culture to start a new life with me in rural Norf Dekody. Population 25,167
and weather worse than most of Russia.
That girl loved/loves me.
There are a hundred theories for men who live in towns/villages when most of the FSUW
are city girls.
What say you?
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I found many FSU gals who were flexible regarding where to live . . . country or city (at least they said they were).
My now Ukrainian wife is super flexible.
She grew up in a very small town (so she was used to that size) in Ukraine where parents had huge garden and orchard, and (after collapse of FSU) her Father stopped going to his job (he hadn't been paid for several months) and started raising pigs, geese, ducks, chickens, rabbits, etc. They have something like 10 acres or so.
Her Mother kept going to her job where she was supervisor at a dairy processing plant. She also didn't get paid money for several months but was paid in milk, cream, cheese and ice cream. She could trade these items for other needed items.
After high school, my now wife went to university in a larger town, so she got used to that size.
After graduation she moved to Kyiv (2 plus million) and lived there for 20 years or so.
Thus, in the USA she can (and has) adapt to almost any living situation.
We currently have both a country house and a city house here in USA.