Are you man enough for a RW?

[Bee Farmer]

there are billions of women on Earth and one of those women will be nearly perfect for you.

This is the approach of men who believe that if they lower their standards enough, eventually they will find someone they are willing to settle for.

Fly to Warsaw, Write 50-100 women an introduction letter, saying that can meet them in Lviv.
Most of them can't/won't do it, but some will.

If only 1 in 10 say yes, then you have 5-10 meetings. More likely 3-4 in 10 say yes
so you would need to schedule 15-40 meetings.

This is the approach of men who are desperate, and are lowering their standards in an attempt to find someone they are willing to settle for.

No, thank you.  I have always said that I would rather spend my life alone than to be miserable by lowering my standards just to be in a relationship with someone.

The next thing you know, you'll be suggesting that I consider divorced women, or women with children.  Once again, no thank you.

[krimster2]

so, in other words...
what you're saying is that YOU'RE NOT man enough for ANY WOMAN...
and THAT's how ya ended up on RWD entertaining us with your incel philosophy

that expalins it!!!!

[2tallbill]

This is the approach of men who believe that if they lower their standards enough, eventually they will find someone they are willing to settle for.

This is the approach of men who are desperate, and are lowering their standards in an attempt to find someone they are willing to settle for.

No, thank you.  I have always said that I would rather spend my life alone than to be miserable by lowering my standards just to be in a relationship with someone.

The next thing you know, you'll be suggesting that I consider divorced women, or women with children.  Once again, no thank you.

Absolutely do not lower your standards. I never lowered mine, I would not ask you to do it.
If any girl is serious she would find a way. She knows that she will get leave at some point
then you can visit her. If she is not serious about you, then she will not inform you when
she gets leave. Russia invaded February 24, 2022 she has received leave. She didn't
let you know about it.

It's time to find someone better who sincerely wants to be the future Mrs. Bee Farmer.

Once again, no thank you.

You are making incorrect assumptions about me. If that girl was killed tomorrow (God forbid)
does that mean there is no other girl on Earth that would meet your standards? If no other
girl would meet your standards then stay single. If you entertain the idea that at least
one other girl on Earth could meet your standard, then my recommendation is that
you should find that one other girl.

Men in WW1, WW2 and the Korean War all got leave. So did the girl you communicate
with. They know when it's coming up and when it will be over.

[Trenchcoat]

If you find what appears to be a good girl in Ukraine and she is potentially the one.
Ask her when she can be free next for you to visit her.

If she can't or won't give you a date then dump her and move on. Every person in every
military in the world gets leave. If she doesn't come up with a plan, there are billions of
women on Earth and one of those women will be nearly perfect for you. Drop her and
find another out of the billions. 

Sunk cost fallacy: the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy
or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that
abandonment would be more beneficial.

Or perhaps better still hear from her first with her asking you when she can next meet up with you again

[Trenchcoat]

I don't know what Beefarmer likes in terms of Standards, apart from character and personality what he likes with looks.

There is then Beefarmer himself and how he stacks up. Having high standards is one thing but Brad Pitt gets the hottie girls because he comes home good on many levels, looks, physique, money, game, social status, social skills, big house, nice lifestyle, charisma? etc, etc...

Everyone has their market value, Brad Pitt has his market value, a high market value, and so does the local pretty boy on the block who isn't good enough to be Brad because he doesn't have everything Brad has going for him, he has a high market value locally but not as high as Brad does. Then you get down to the everyday man and woman. They have not so high market value but some may overvalue themselves and stay single a long time refusing to 'lower their standards'.

It's fine having standards but if you overvalue yourself and refuse to get real with how the other gender actually rate you then there is always going to be a mismatch often resulting in no deal. Many people have problems so being aware not to get too carried away with pegging yourself too high and open to those that may fall down a little here & there can help people find their real market value.

There is of course attraction, love, personality, etc that comes into it but if you're not all that as you might think you are yourself and are too picky and refuse to budge a bit then nothing may ever happen. End of the day we are talking real people here not some unreal vision in our minds.

[Trenchcoat]

If any girl is serious she would find a way. She knows that she will get leave at some point
then you can visit her. If she is not serious about you, then she will not inform you when
she gets leave. Russia invaded February 24, 2022 she has received leave. She didn't
let you know about it.

It's time to find someone better who sincerely wants to be the future Mrs. Bee Farmer.

If that girl was killed tomorrow (God forbid)
does that mean there is no other girl on Earth that would meet your standards? If no other
girl would meet your standards then stay single. If you entertain the idea that at least
one other girl on Earth could meet your standard, then my recommendation is that
you should find that one other girl.

Men in WW1, WW2 and the Korean War all got leave. So did the girl you communicate
with. They know when it's coming up and when it will be over.

Our Beefarmuh's big issue is this I think.

'If the girl is not willing to be with him, to commit anything much at all to being with him even for a quick visit, then even if they got together, how are they going to stay together?'

The moment an argument, disagreement or other desire comes about if the girl doesn't feel strongly enough to have had to commit to a visit then she's not going to feel committed enough to stay with our Beefarmuh. She'll won't feel attachment to him and she'll split. Arguments are often an inevitable part of relationships but they tend to break up those where there isn't any or much form of wanting to commit to the other person, to feel any attachment.

So, what happens early on in a relationship, how the other person responds, how each other responds can form a reflection on what will happen later in a relationship.

Her response tells me that our Beefarmer is just wasting his time with this woman. Even if she did miraculously go with him to the US and I think that is not good odds, then by this I don't see it working out and it'll fall apart pretty quick and he'll have wasted a lot of time just sitting it out all this time.

[Bee Farmer]

I never lowered mine, I would not ask you to do it.

I don't believe you.  You're either lying, or you never had any standards to begin with.

A guy marrying a woman who is divorced or has a kid is an act of desperation.  A guy with standards isn't going to get married to a divorced woman or a woman with a kid as a first choice.  And the woman knows she has to lower her standards to get a guy.

If any girl is serious she would find a way. She knows that she will get leave at some point
then you can visit her.

You assume that all women are the kind of women you would pursue...and you assume that I am looking for the same things you are looking for.

It's time to find someone better who sincerely wants to be the future Mrs. Bee Farmer.

But you again assume all relationships should move along the timeline you want.

You are making incorrect assumptions about me.

No, I don't believe I am making any incorrect assumptions about you.  But I do believe you are making incorrect assumptions about me.

If that girl was killed tomorrow (God forbid) does that mean there is no other girl on Earth that would meet your standards?

Meeting my standards isn't enough. 

I'm not convinced I will ever get married.  While I don't consider marriage to be a high likelihood, I don't consider it to be zero likelihood.

If you entertain the idea that at least one other girl on Earth could meet your standard, then my recommendation is that you should find that one other girl.

I consider your recommendation to be a recipe for disaster.  Simply because someone meets your standards doesn't mean you are compatible or should even consider pursuing a relationship.

Stop thinking that everyone wants the same thing you want, on the timeline you want.  I can assure you, the kind of women you have pursued, are the kind of women I want nothing to do with.  And I suspect that women I have dated, are not the kind of women you would have dated.

[ML]

A guy marrying a woman who is divorced or has a kid is an act of desperation. 

Hey . . . I married a widow with a child.

I wasn't desperate.

I married because she had good future income potential and was young so she could later push my wheelchair.

This may backfire, as she might be aging quicker than myself !!

What unfairness ? !!

[krimster2]

the comedy of BeeFarmer "pontificating" on his theory of successful relationships despite never having had one.... LOL!!!
nor seeing how ridiculous he looks in this role as spokesman for the Incel movement while defending his "profound thoughts"....

frankly, the only reason I come here, is for the humor....
some of ya'll, are REALLY FUNNY!!!!!

I guess, if I had any empathy, I'd feel sorry for ya....
but I poured out what little I had....it was old...
so unfortunately, I'm just fresh outta empathy....

which means....
HA HA!!!

and GUESS WHAT?
The guys who ARE man enuff for a Russian woman....already HAVE a Russian woman
and those who aren't man enuff...have what BeeFarmer has....his right hand (unless he's left handed)

but I think BeeFarmer could use his "shtick" that' he's been workin on here, for a pretty good stand-up comedy routine about incel culture, which is BeeFarmer's primary field of understanding
ya'll have questions about Incels - Beefarmer is yur "go-to" guy

I can't wait to read his latest proclamations!!!!
Mr. "I-am-not-desperate" is probably off watching porn at the moment, so is unable to reply until he 'tidys up' a bit....

[Trenchcoat]

I fear our Beefarmer doesn't have much capability to be able to get with a decent woman. That it's only the low hanging fruit that he may be able to get and that for him is such a turn off as it would for most men of course. I think he tries to hide behind having 'high standards' as an excuse to avoid the embarrassment of the otherwise all too obvious lack of ability of being able to score a decent woman. The soldier girl being just a convenient proof to that narrative that he has something going on and is 'OK' whrn really he isn't.We may be able to help him here is he comes to his senses on this and opens up to us.

His soldier girl out in Ukraine is most likely getting plenty of it (sex) from the troops out there. She's unlikely to not be doing it all this time unless she is real ugly. Bothe her and the troops will be randy for it and may know that they could die tomorrow so who cares. Many of those soldier guys will be well worked out and athletic looking from all that activity, running around loading shells, lifting stuff, etc. That will be attractive for her and they will be yearning for it. Our Beefarmer is just to fill in for lonely moments penpal style when not much is going on. Once the war ends she'll have other things happening to be wanting to bother about him. But he can carry on wait'in.

[2tallbill]

I don't believe you.  You're either lying, or you never had any standards to begin with.

A guy marrying a woman who is divorced or has a kid is an act of desperation.  A guy with standards isn't going to get married to a divorced woman or a woman with a kid as a first choice.  And the woman knows she has to lower her standards to get a guy.

I was divorced with a child, my wife was the same. She is honest with excellent character.
We have been married for 9 years (10 in November). I have been very happy with my
wife at my side and raising/playing with the boy we made together.

You have a pen-pal who has taken leave (maybe several) and didn't tell you about it or
lied about it. She has been feeding you porkie pies and you have been eating them.
This woman doesn't have a child?

Many FSU women use abortion as birth control. How many has she had? There is no
way to know or to tell.

I am saying she has gone on leave. I am saying that she preferred to go on leave and
spend time with others rather than with you. Maybe that's because you are pen pals
rather than in a serious relationship.
 

[2tallbill]

I fear our Beefarmer

There is no reason to worry about Beefarmer. He has a pen pal. He hasn't met her in
real life yet so she is just a cyber friend at this time. I have several cyber friends.
The girl I met in Georgia is sort of like his dream girl.

She was a virgin, went to church 3 hours every Sunday, fasted every fast. Read psalms
and all the other things, that chaste girls do. I was her cyber pal every day for almost a
year. I visited her and romance did not happen.

Real girls like this need to be romanced in person. You have to go to church with them
and fast with them for at least a year maybe two. Then she will marry you. It can't
be done over the internet. I don't have any way to make money while in Georgia
or wherever else you find this type of girl.

[Trenchcoat]

Well he claims to have met her in real life before the war broke out, but that she joined the Medic unit of the Army to help out wounded soldiers.

Apparently he claims she only gets about two weeks leave a year so her family take priority over him (parents, etc) and so she wishes to spend that time off with them and not him.

She apparently won't leave her country to be with him now that she is committed to being a Medic in the Army.

That is how I recall it from what Beefarmer has put before.

The war is now in its third year in Ukraine yet still no visitation on the cards for our Beefarmuh. I hope it's not a long war as otherwise it will be many years before they get the chance to see each other again. Till then it's plenty of penpal writing to be done!

A shame that she won't spare a few hours to see our Beefarmuh during a visit to her parents if he were to fly over, keep the romance flowing for real

[krimster2]

we gossip like a bunch of old Russian babooshki......
what this board REALLY needs
is a rant from a virtual paranoid schitzophrenic!!!!
AMIRIGHT??!!

ya'll better forget about all the non-important stuff...
cuz none of it's gonna matter after the next decade

while yur all focusing on gay cowboys vrs latin immigrants (never mind the man behind the curtain)
all yur really doin is responding to massa's programming
which is designed to distract ya from the fact that he's gonna grift on yur Social Security/Medicare to keep massa's taxes low

ya''ll need to read "The Grapes of Wrath"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Grapes_of_Wrath

cuz when the debt bombs all explode in the 2030s, and the drought comes to the midwest
it's gonna be deja vu all over agin

the yearly interest on the federal debt will exceed the increase in GDP for the entire economy
and will KEEP INCREASING
resulting in a permanent negative growth rate for the USA and all who trade with the USA
a death spiral, and we're already IN IT!!!!!!

but this is just the very, very, beginning....
you won't actually start feeling major things until AFTER 2025...
then it all goes downhill faster and faster...

the result is gonna be a repeat of the Great Depression/Dust Bowl
almost EXACTLY like the last one 100 years ago
only MUCH, MUCH worse!!!

and while massa got ya all debating the merits of gay comboy reading day and whatever other distractions he comes up with, Taylor Swift nip slip, whatever...
he's hiding his play to cut Social Security and Medicare for workers to pretend and extend massa's imploding economy for just a few more years
enuff time for him to bail out and secure a space at Vault-Tec

as Marx said, the struggle is ALWAYS gonna be between rich and poor
so ya need to distract the poor with the Gay Cowboy stories
while your oligarchs use the government to rob them to give the oligarch class a few more good years

anyone watching Trump, and Harvard where legacies account for 75% of admissions still think we live in a meritocracy?

you'd ALL better start prepping

your dollars will be freeakin worthless and yur assets are all priced in dollars...oopsie

I'm thinking of making a robot for making toilette paper!!!!
and you can attach guns to it as well!!!!
sometimes ya go out and you and yur robot go fighting
and sometimes you and yur robot make toilette paper to trade with the villagers for food

cuz...
afterall...it's still America
and tis my right to keep and bear weapons......
but threy didn't go into too much specifics....

the pen is mightier than the sword?
yes!!  mine is a single shot .22 LR - you actually have to place it on someone's head/neck and flip the spring to fire it
much handier than a sword...
and I look like such a sweet smilin' ole geezer....

the older I get, the less I find "life in prison" or even certain death to be a persuasive deterrent...
silly me...

the worst man to fight is always the one with nothin to lose
why?
cuz he'll take major risks to shank 'ya, that a more cautious man wouldn't take
which forces you to play defense insteada offense

how you white boyz gonna survive in this wicked world?
show the slightest weakness and you will be roasted alive and eaten by the natives...
how ya gonne earn their respect????
fear??
love??

hmmmmm.........

to think, that Donald J Trump, is the LEADER of The Christian Nationalist Movement*
is either the FUNNIEST
or most DISTURBING THING EVER
maybe BOTH!!!!!

OMG!!! I REALLY AM CRAZY!!!!!!!
this can't really be happening....can it....
I hope he picks "Crazy Al Yankovich" as his Vice President!!!!!

*you know they wanna have a "firey cross", right....
these ain't no "knights in white satin" Bobby...
they are performing a "venerated ritual"

damn good thing, I have light colored hair/blue eyes, cuz when I was 6 yrs old a car full of klansmen pulled up next to me and asked me for directions
if they knew I was a Jew, I'd been a 'goner fer sure, they'd killed a 6 yr old like me, like they did to some black kids back then
I totally "played it cool" even changed my voice to sound just the way their kids sounded at skool, like they sez "DAWG"

Mossad shoulda recruited me RIGHT THEN!!!!!
I'd had no problem slippin on some c-4 on a magnet under their old Chevy with a 30-sec delay-detonator
"ya'll have a nice day now, ya hear?"


and legally a 6 year old could't EVEN be charged with murder!!!!
and for that reason, I'd only charge HALF what an adult would charge for the same "hit"

anyway....
that's kinda how I "got started"

anybody have a better story than that?

[Trenchcoat]

When I studied History & American Studies the 'Grapes of Wrath' was one of the text on the list of one of the modules. I didn't study that module so I have never read it. I probably should get around to reading it some day. I read the summary though a year or two ago and decided that probably tells me all anyway. In general I'm not a big fiction book reader as I often just don't have the time and prefer to watch any film version. I think the film version of that though is quite old now lol.

I'm not in the US so all that stuff probably won't affect me much

As far as our Beefarmuh goes he can either seek out a good life for himself or sit there where he is waiting to replace one of the old boys above him in the food chain a few years from now and become the new old boy getting older with no life waiting to pass on. Up to him I guess but I wouldn't figure that it's much of a life, the same ol' same.

[Bee Farmer]

Hey . . . I married a widow with a child.

I wasn't desperate.

Yes, you were desperate.

You made a vow for life...but then you got divorced.  While divorce relieved you of some of your legal responsibilities to her, it did not absolve you of your moral responsibilities.  You were facing a choice if you wanted to have integrity and honor.  You could reconcile with your divorced wife, or you could remain celibate the rest of her life.

You chose to dishonor your word, and got with a widow with a child.  That was an act of desperation, rather than to have to reconcile or remain celibate. 

[Bee Farmer]

Fly to Warsaw, Write 50-100 women an introduction letter, saying that can meet them in Lviv.
Most of them can't/won't do it, but some will.

If only 1 in 10 say yes, then you have 5-10 meetings. More likely 3-4 in 10 say yes
so you would need to schedule 15-40 meetings.

If you can find 50-100 women you are interested in meeting, then you don't have any standards.  This is the strategy for men who are looking for a hookup with a Tinder hoe.  Men are told to like every woman on Tinder, in the hopes that a few women will like them back...and of those who like you, you can find one who will have sex.  (While men typically like every woman on Tinder, women on Tinder only like 5%-10% of the men.  A coworker once showed me his Tinder account, and the women on Tinder were almost all the nastiest hoes that nobody in their right mind would would date.  And if a guy you knew got drunk and slept with one of these girls at a party, everyone would tease them for years.)

This is not the strategy for finding a long term partner.  If you use this strategy in your search for a wife, you will end up with a Tinder hoe.  Unless your idea of a successful relationship is a one night stand with the same woman every night, this is a recipe for disaster.

One of the problems with this approach is that you are not playing a numbers game to find girls who like you.  You are selecting girls who are impulsive, risk taking, and looking for instant gratification.  These are traits you want if you are looking for an easy lay, but traits you want to avoid like the plague if you want to find a committed relationship.

I was divorced with a child, my wife was the same. She is honest with excellent character.

A woman with an excellent character will not get involved with a man who is divorced.  She knows she deserves better.
A woman of excellent character gets married as a virgin.  If the marriage ends in divorce, she remains single and hopes to reconcile.
A woman of excellent character puts the needs of her family members above her own desires, which also reduces the likelihood of divorce.

A woman of decent character who is still raising children will not allow a man who is not a blood relative of her children to live in the same house.  She knows that there is a 1 in 3 chance her child will be abused if a man moves into the home who is not a blood relative of her child.  No woman of decent character is going to take that risk.  Women of decent or excellent character care about the welfare of their children. 

A man or woman who lacks good character will care not for the way they hurt other people as long as their own needs, desires and objectives are met.  They will not care how much their children will suffer.  (Smiley Girl didn't waste any time going to another country, leaving her family behind.  If that's not a sign of problems, I don't know what is.)

A woman of excellent character is not going to have a kid in her 40's with a man that is 50.  She knows that this period of life is for helping raise grandchildren (if/once they have them) and for paying off the house and saving money for retirement.  A woman of excellent character knows that if they have a child at a later age, they will be spending money on raising the child instead of getting their financial house in order preparing for retirement.  She also knows that they will not have as much energy for grandchildren if they have spent all their energy on this new baby.  But, people run into these problems when they are focused on instant gratification.  A woman of excellent character is focused on delayed gratification.

I have been very happy with my wife at my side and raising/playing with the boy we made together.

The ENFP personality type is the most common personality type found in homeless people.  They are very happy people, who make impulsive decisions based upon how they feel.

You have a pen-pal who has taken leave (maybe several) and didn't tell you about it or lied about it.

She did take 2 days off for an uncle's funeral.

Maybe she lied.  Maybe she told the truth.  Time will tell.

Some people are very high in trait conscientiousness.  This is not a trait impulsive people understand.

This woman doesn't have a child?

 

No.  She has no children. 

There is no reason to worry about Beefarmer. He has a pen pal. He hasn't met her in
real life yet so she is just a cyber friend at this time.

Who did I meet then?  Does she have an identical twin sister that she never told me about, and who never appears in any family photos?

The girl I met in Georgia is sort of like his dream girl.

She was a virgin, went to church 3 hours every Sunday, fasted every fast. Read psalms
and all the other things, that chaste girls do. I was her cyber pal every day for almost a
year. I visited her and romance did not happen.

Real girls like this need to be romanced in person. You have to go to church with them
and fast with them for at least a year maybe two. Then she will marry you. It can't
be done over the internet. I don't have any way to make money while in Georgia
or wherever else you find this type of girl.

She sounds like a good girl.

I think what you are trying to say is that the price for a lady like this is higher than you were willing to pay...so you just say, "Sour grapes."

And if another guy shows interest in a good lady of high standards, you discourage them from pursuing such ladies, and instead resort to encouraging them to use your strategy for picking up Tinder hoes...because heaven forbid a guy actually have the integrity to be successful in pursuing a high quality lady when you didn't have what it takes.

I find it quite interesting what is not said.  How many times on here have I been encouraged to pursue a woman of high standards?

Birds of a feather flock together.  Of my circle of friends, only one is divorced...and he reconciled and remarried his wife.  All have been married for decades.  All of us are entrepreneurial, and either own a business or a side business if we have a regular job.  (Except Doug, who retired early.)  All are debt free, and none live paycheck to paycheck.
And without exception, all of my friends have encouraged me to continue pursuing this girl.
It has not escaped notice that men who are happily married for decades encourage me to pursue this girl, while divorced men try to discourage me, and instead encourage me to be like them and be sex tourists or pursue Tinder hoes.

[krimster2]

BeeFahmah
you only think about abstractions of  hypothetical women
and never an actual REAL WOMAN

with a real woman, all your "hypotheticals" go completely out the freakin' window...
and all your pre-judgements are of no value either...
all useless...

you formed your sacrosanct principles without it coming from your own positive experiences
cuz you live in a void, and this is why you believe in so many false assumptions, cuz ya haven't learned any better
the self-help books you read, only helps the author and publisher, but not you, yur not benefiting

you can't JUST read about life
you have to go and live it
and that's something else that you REALLY haven't figured out yet....

now to someone like me,
you come across as annoyingly small minded, and not very likable
and that creates an urge within me to "savage you" with no mercy
cuz frankly, I am a mean and cruel bastard that you don't wanna mess with...

I suspect there's a much deeper part to "yur story"
the beginning....
cuz that's the part that explains how ya got so phuqued up in the first place

now the ONE thing you gotta ask yurself BeeFahmah, is this:
What if I'm RIGHT????
What then????

do you have the courage to hold yur face to a mirror and compare to what I described....


PS
even though you don't reply to my posts, I know full well you read them....
cuz I have "powers"
now, you're even reading this one!!

it's AMAZING!!! right???

[Trenchcoat]

Beefarmer, Bill met his current wife not directly from the method he tells us. He met his current wife through a social media contact who suggested her and she agreed to meet him after one of his meet ups dropped out. The social media contact was a former meet up of his as I understand it. While that shows that networking with women can really be a good way to meet a good girl many women out there refuse to have male friends.

I've seen it work where two people with a child each can form a good family, that is a good outcome out of two broken families potentially. We also hear in the news of step fathers abusing children that aren't directly theirs. Bill is a decent guy though and I think his wife saw that.

The write to 50-100 women or more method I have not done. In theory Bill's method is a meet one method that can and often did for him evolve into a meet many method. Overall I would say it's more of a meet many method since you are lining up girls to follow through on if your first date doesn't work out. Some people may just meet the others anyhow and just meet one a day in a full meet many method. It can no doubt be fun but I think does stand the risk of passing over a girl who would be right because she has problems.

Like you I never really tried to use such a method of writing to 50 - 100 women. There often wasn't that many women who were actively looking on the dating site in one city alone and of course most just didn't appeal to me. I did one or maybe two occasions write to many women in different cities and results varied, most didn't write back probably mostly because they were no longer active on the dating site, etc.

I always tended to default to the WOVO method due to time constraints and only several women sometimes even just the one woman or so who I was interested in writing too at any given time and was interested in writing back. I met probably about six women through this method with no luck until I found one where she was into me enough it seems. The others if I was more up on dating who knows but I think they probably weren't interested enough it is fair to say.

In a way the last time kind of felt that it was silly going to meet just the one girl, a lot of time input plus the tension of putting yourself out to meet the one girl. I thought to myself this is the last time of using this method and I'll go to visit many in future. I don't know out of the two methods I would probably say that it's best to just move to a city in the FSU at least temporarily for a few weeks a month as an absolute minimum and go and just date girls one at a time, like you would at home. It's why people ended up doing that in the first place otherwise there can be a lot of awkwardness using either method in it not totally fitting what is needed.

I still personally think that you are holding onto this girl for too long though Beefarmer. If she is so conscious that she can't spare a few minutes/a few hours for you in a day to meet you in person then she is not interested enough in you.

[Trenchcoat]

So on this wonderful Bank Holiday Monday I have a plan for our Beefarmuh. Beefarmer tells his workplace that he needs at least two months off for whatever reason will fly with them. He then goes out to Ukraine telling his soldier girl of his intentions and telling her that he will be as near to where she works as being reasonably safe can be. If she point blank refuses to meet up beforehand or while he is there that should tell him she doesn't give two shits about him. Then he rents an Apartment for a couple of months in a city of his preference. He then goes on Fdate and other such similar dating sites and messages the girls one or a couple of so at a time. He tells them in his first message that he is in their city, a small bit about himself and that he would like to meet up. He then meets the ones that accept one by one for a date and sees if they are the one for him, that they have time for him and they are truly into him and are asking to meet him again. Beefarmer can repeat this process at his leisure and likely within two months will have met a girl who will make him wonder why he ever bothered wasting so much time on soldier girl. If soldier girl can't be bothered to meet him even if it's down to conscientiousness or whatever then shd deserves nothing more than a big up yours to make her reflect on what is important, but perhaps our Beefarmuh is just not that important to her at all.

[krimster2]

when yur clutching at straws
nothing is real...and nothing to get hung-up about

[2tallbill]

The ENFP personality type is the most common personality type found in homeless people. 
They are very happy people, who make impulsive decisions based upon how they feel.

You can make statements with absolute conviction, but it doesn't make them true.
90% of homeless people are addicted, have mental illness or both. They aren't happy
people.


The ENFP personality type stands for Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceiving.
Some of the most common words used to describe ENFPs are friendly, energetic, creative
and innovative. “ENFPs are known for their lively and outgoing nature and ability to connect
with others on a deep level.

Maybe she lied.  Maybe she told the truth.  Time will tell.

Time has told. You are one of the pedestal preservation Types. Putting someone never met
on a pedestal, projecting/assigning all sorts of virtues upon her from afar.

She's had leave and not only two days for a funeral. If she said that she hasn't, she lied.
Now you are lying to yourself. Leave for Ukrainian troops during wartime is a thing. You
can look it up. Myself, I dumped liars, I only wanted a woman that I could trust.

She sounds like a good girl.

I think what you are trying to say is that the price for a lady like this is higher than you were willing to pay...so you just say, "Sour grapes."

I said it say sour grapes, I wrote about it. I never wrote a single negative thing about that
girl. I had a son that still lived with me and he was my top priority at the time. I couldn't
leave him to work for pennies and grubs in Georgia for a couple years. There was a
English teaching program for native English speakers. They make about $350 per
month and they are put into a Georgian family's home.

[2tallbill]

Beefarmer, Bill met his current wife not directly from the method he tells us. He met his current wife through a social media contact who suggested her and she agreed to meet him after one of his meet ups dropped out. The social media contact was a former meet up of his as I understand it. While that shows that networking with women can really be a good way to meet a good girl many women out there refuse to have male friends.

None of our Venn diagram of contacts intersected, zero.

I was going through profiles at a social media site. I saw a photo of a girl with
captivating eyes, so I wrote her an e-letter asking her to meet me and that is
how I met the one for me. 

[2tallbill]

This is the approach of men who believe that if they lower their standards enough, eventually they will find someone they are willing to settle for.

If you set your standards so high that Zero women in 4 billion can meet it, then your
standards are insane. If you can't find 50 women in a city of millions that meet your
standards is ridiculous.

They aren't the one with the problem.

[2tallbill]

He met his current wife through words, words, stuff I made up in my head, words, words,
stuff I made up in my head, words, words, stuff I made up in my head, words, words,
stuff I made up in my head, words, words, stuff I made up in my head, words, words,
stuff I made up in my head, words, words, stuff I made up in my head,

Where did this fictional story come from?