Even in the past, while talking to few FSU women, I have observed that they expect exclusivity even during the online dating phase.
All women (and men) would hope that the person they are trying to get to know and meet is not, at the same time, doing the same with other persons.
Then it can be broken down to (1) those who are realistic about it, and will not terminate the budding relationship over the issue, and (2) those who are living in dream world without any consideration for the tremendous risk the other party faces in doing a one-off on the other side of the world.
Generally speaking, the older the person, the more realistic and understanding they are about this issue.
I had very little trouble doing WMVM several times in several different cities.
I encountered very few women who pressed the issue and stated flatly that they would never meet if I were also meeting other women.
But, I never talked about other women to any of them whether in electronic or face to face conversations.
There is also another issue aside from how the women would accept such a beginning.
That is . . . can the man actually plan and carry out a visit to meet many women.
Not many men can do it.
Those who can't . . . will put forth 'Holier than thou' wording why WMVM should not be done.
Do you talk to multiple women through these dating/marriage sites before you actually meet them in real life?
Since I am a loyal person, I can understand the need for exclusivity.
If a lady exclude you because it appears you might be a player - she's probably right !
they know they have the monopoly and would be damned if they would give it up. These women are essentially asking you to give up your monopoly on a country where the man has the monopoly so it works in their favour not yours.
Sighs, ( the flip side)
This old git has consistently pointed out that he readily admits to sensory overload having tried WMVM trips.. It is impossible to meet so many ladies in a short time and be objective.
If a lady exclude you because it appears you might be a player - she's probably right !
...and right on cue, you were saying about the 'holier than thou' ML lol :D
Surfer, I think you are a bit like me when I started out in this venture. It takes a little while to get your head around it all. Asking lots of questions on here I found helped a lot. Unfortunately I find English women often make us guys very impoverished in terms of knowing much about dating at all, never mind FSU dating, they really are atrocious. The FSU dating scene really is a ray of hope :)
In todays climate (not using an agency)......it is more difficult. But if you keep initial communication time short.......and no one gets too attached (before meeting face-to-face)
I believe it can be done.
A few years ago, I met several women in Moscow from an online site. One didn't like me meeting other women and broke it off. I met the others. I was glad I didn't just meet one because if I only met one, one ended up being married and one was crazy. Imagine if I didn't have any other choices? It would have been a wasted 4 weeks.
I started this adventure back in the 90's ...
I had very little trouble doing WMVM several times in several different cities.
I encountered very few women who pressed the issue and stated flatly that they would never meet if I were also meeting other women.
But, I never talked about other women to any of them whether in electronic or face to face conversations.
So, do you do the same as well? Do you talk to multiple women through these dating/marriage sites before you actually meet them in real life?
My first experience was with an agency. I sent 16 letters (you remember letters? Made from paper and a stamp?) Took about 2 1/2 to 3 weeks to get to Tver, Russia.
I've written to thousands and thousands of girls. Yes, even the visit one types
will advocate writing to many women, then sift through the girls that answer
and distill the list down to one person, then meet her. That's the visit one
strategy. It's the high risk/high reward strategy. If you decide to use this
strategy you need to have a backup plan.
I think Bill means the high risk being you get there and find out there's no chemistry.
The high reward I believe is if there is chemistry then a lot of the initial getting to know each other has been done so that hurdle is out the way.
I much admire Bill's strategy of lining up a visit one then ditching her as soon as it became apparent that she was not the girl for him/nothing there. Then call up other girls on the hoof to make a go of the journey. It has an efficient ruthlessness to it but one that I can now see would work in the FSU as it's a bit like their whole direct way about doing things. I'm no employing that strategy this time out and I'll explain why shortly in my trip report ;)
It is no brainer ..'Donetsk girl' is sending you images to rev you up - but wants to proceed slowly ? ...Hmm .. MASSIVE red flag
Don't let the little brain control you
I think you should go see the Moscow woman. Until then, communicate with whoever you wish. Obviously if you decide to commit to one woman, you will cease communication with others. Just don’t lie.
Just wanted her to understand that it's not reasonable for her to expect me to keep waiting for her.
All of these 'intimate' video calls and messages are just foreplay. Nothing is real until the meet. If she can't schedule a time together, then she is just feeding her ego. Meet the gal in Moscow and any other gal. There's no such thing as exclusivity until you hold someone in your arms and kiss her and see if she is the one.
As for other guys trying to get her attention, her telling you that is very immature. Either you are a couple or you're not. And without the meet .... you're not.
So the Donetsk girl told you she's moving and busy with work and won't have much time for you if you visited but at the same time she's telling you you're her man and she's forsaking all others?
What is crazy is you dedicating your life to someone you never met. If she has the hots for you, she'd want you to come right away.
Yeah, she seems to be very cautious with every step she takes towards a relation. She mentioned a couple of times that her mother asks about me and how are things going.
The Donetsk girl said that she has never met anyone through Internet before in her life and this is the first time.
I'll take your advises and schedule to meet the ones who are willing to meet while continue talking to ones a little bit who want some more time.
One more thing: If you go to meet Moscow Girl, let her know that the reason you are going to Moscow is to meet her. Not for any other reason. A woman needs to know that you think it important enough to get on an airplane and sacrifice your time and resources to MEET HER. This is very important in a budding relationship.
Yeah, she seems to be very cautious with every step she takes towards a relation. She mentioned a couple of times that her mother asks about me and how are things going.
The Donetsk girl said that she has never met anyone through Internet before in her life and this is the first time.
I'll take your advises and schedule to meet the ones who are willing to meet while continue talking to ones a little bit who want some more time.
The more you talk about this woman, the less I am convinced that she is a woman to get involved with. Most women that I have met in the FSU are very practical and level headed. This one seems like a feather head.
I know what you mean. She does indeed act a bit immature although she has a good understanding of emotions and relations. I wouldn't say that I gel with this girl the best. She has her own plus and minus. She is really into me though.
Anyway, today, I spoke to her once again and she said, within a week or two, she will understand her work schedule better and will let me know on her own as discussed. She asked me my comfortable timing and I said August/September. She immediately said August. I'm going to explore meanwhile and see how it goes.
For those who aren't familiar with the Eastern European mindset, mid to late August is considered national vacation time. More so than any other time of the year, it is difficult to do any business transactions. If you can find a lady to take a week away with you at this time of the year, you have earned a dear place in her heart. Either that or she desperately wants to get away and has no other options. This is time time of year that families meet up. That destination vacations are planned. And that all Eastern Europeans look forward to all year.
Thanks for sharing the details. As I told you earlier, I certainly felt that this girl is really into me. She was just being cautious with starting a new relation. However, she and I have a common understanding now that only a real meeting can confirm.
Meanwhile, I am planning to meet other women who I feel are marriage material in Russia. So, I have approximately 1 month time in hand before I plan anything with the Donetsk girl.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22008.msg482085#msg482085If that don't work out, there is "a gazillion" other ladies in Kyiv just waiting to go out with a handsome serious man.. and who knows...
Now lets see what a trip would cost you today.
Ukraine Airlines from Gatwick
Thu, 14 Jun
LGW - KBP
Sun, 17 Jun
KBP - LGW
TOTAL PRICE £190 - $ 264.58
Premier Hotel Rus 3 star hotel
3 nights with breakfast
TOTAL PRICE £136 - $ 188
3 lunch + 3 dinner + the odd coffee or tea, taxi etc... £ 300 - $ 380
Meal for 2 People, Mid-range Restaurant, Three-course 500-1000 UAH £ 14-28 / $20-40
So you see I counted a little on the high side even with £ 300 but for the sake of argument say you spend that amount.
Total £ 650-700 or $890-950
You have 3 whole days in Ukraine and it that time you can at least ring up 3-6 dates, or focus on one or two.
Shee-it!
If I lived in the UK, I'd hop on the plane on a moment's notice to find out if a woman was the one. A long weekend from London is perfectly acceptable. And if the woman doesn't want to meet with you for a weekend event, go on to the next one. But based on what is written here, my guess is that she is not the one, anyway.
Three hundred bucks for a weekend of dating is No-thing! I spend that much on a dinner with a woman. Well, a dinner and what comes afterwards.....
Sometimes its is important to find out what the little head has to say.
you mean the $200 you left on the nightstand when you snuck out while she slept ? :cheesy:
That, my friend, is how much you would leave.:ROFL:
The women I hang out with are much less expensive. Two hundred dollars left for one of them and they would think they broke the bank.
For those who aren't familiar with the Eastern European mindset, mid to late August is considered national vacation time. More so than any other time of the year, it is difficult to do any business transactions. If you can find a lady to take a week away with you at this time of the year, you have earned a dear place in her heart. Either that or she desperately wants to get away and has no other options. This is time time of year that families meet up. That destination vacations are planned. And that all Eastern Europeans look forward to all year.
Two hundred dollars left for one of them and they would think they broke the bank.
No, No, No ! ;)
MY experience is that WMVM is the high risk / high stress strategy ... this is supposed to be FUN .. not walking a tight rope..
With the advent of video chat for most of us - the risk is virtually eliminated
I did not have a 'plan B' - never even dreamt of it
Your personality is suited to a visit one strategy.
I've been on Skype daily and then visited one girl in Georgia and it didn't work out
I've been on Skype daily and then visited one girl in Portland and it didn't work out
I've been on Skype daily and then visited one girl in Voronezh and it didn't work out
My back up plan was to meet other girls if it didn't work out. I didn't have
back up girls lined up. I only searched and found them after things didn't
work out.
What many here failed to mention, or maybe never encountered is that it's when a relationship starts to get serious and the woman in this case start thinking about really leaving her homeland, that is when the doubts and fears starts to come, many think they are ready to leave going in to this, but when faces with the fact.. it is a little harder to just pick up and leave.
Probably so - and presumably the ladies ?
That suggests (to me ) that you were doing something wrong / missing some signs .?
Nought wrong with that ... Suggesting having a 'plan B' - ( to me) read like you recommended having lasses lined up
Thanks for making that clear
Possibly/Probably, but it's very common and most don't meet the right girl on
a first trip even with Skype.
Lining up girls means that you don't think that the girl you are meeting
is the one.
If you weren't clear then newbies probably weren't clear either as you know
me far better than the newbies do. I'm glad you challenged me to clarify.