Trench's Questions and Philosophies

[Blighty]

Please, after DK and Trench. .it could be a problem for newbies. .believing all British are this silly.

No ... only English softies living south of the Watford Gap!

Most people don't earn the average wage here, I think it is skewed by figures of those earning massive amounts, company directors, stockbrokers, business owners, etc. A wage of around £1500 a month is what most British would be more familiar with at present. Plus remember to account to take tax of any said figure.

The average UK wage is about £27,000 and will be higher in southern England!

Gosh, even my pension is over £18,000. If you are only earning £1,500 per month then the UK Settlement Visa would automatically fail!! The minimum annual income must be £18,600 for a spouse visa.

This thread is very entertaining reading whilst on holiday with my wife. Sorry, but I just had to comment on this topic.

[Blighty]

Trench - if you are now attempting to downplay your earnings potential to £1500 / gross then you aren't earning enough for your lady to get a spousal visa

@msmob apologies for duplicating your information.

[JayH]

Er,  Nightwish is in a long-term relationship...YOU aren't

Yet you really ARE daft enough to 'challenge' his advice.....

Please, after DK and Trench. .it could be a problem for newbies. .believing all British are this silly.

Moby has posted repeatedly  about TC ineptitude and stupid comments  -- most of us have applauded without feeling the need to pollute every thread in confirmation -- and it has made zero impact on  TC.

Of all the people whose stories have strong parallels to my own it is Nightwish  ( and a Norwegian guy now married  whose name escapes me)  - the key part being much time on the ground and learning (& learning & learning) .  Of note --  our comments are current(not a decade old)  and are born from substantial time on the ground  .

Of note -- we were both offended at about the same time by the same comments and attitudes TC expressed ---   and over a year later -- has repeated over the last few weeks .So-- what exactly has he learnt?

Then -he has the temerity to start "advising"others -- and rationalising his arse up assumptions !Others who live in the FSU currently have offered gems -that go over his head as he chooses to run with "advice" to those that are "nice" to him!! The list of the well intentioned that have later despaired is long -very long.
None of that has made even a minor dent in the TC skull

Even today -- Nightwish has gone to the trouble of writing a simple plan outline ( btw those estimated  costs could be slashed quite easily) and all TC can do is whine negatives  about it all and why it does not suit him.

Last  -I have often said this type of search is like trying to find a needle in a haystack --but first you have to find the haystack!!   Now in TC case --he has to find the planet the haystack is on !

[Trenchcoat]

according to the sources I found the average salary in UK is around £ 30000
That gives you a income of £ 2500 a month, but you are saying most people take home about £1500?

http://money.cnn.com/interactive/news/economy/davos/global-wage-calculator/
£33600

http://www.monster.co.uk/career-advice/article/uk-average-salary-graphs
£30500

30K lol I wish! To put it into perspective if you were to Google 'UK Teachers pay' you would get a salary of 23-24K for England, Wales, etc outside of London. Some get more over time after they have been in the teaching profession many years. That 23-24K is before tax.

So ask yourself if a Teacher who usually has a good possibly top class degree and then has survived and qualified teacher training is only earning that sort of money then what is most other degree qualified people in the UK on? The answer is similar money or even less in the majority of cases. Even getting selected for teacher training is difficult to get in the UK unless you are in STEM subject you don't just walk into it.

I am not a teacher it's an example I give as the salary is paid by the government so it is a fact that they get this. It's the easiest way to give you a real idea of wages everyday people get in the UK. Like I said the average wage to most Brits including myself is not reality, it's something a lot of us aim for as a high wage not the average.

Some people on the UK get into very privledged jobs as top management in councils and these will be well paid but those jobs are heavily competed over and usually go to older people or those with good connections etc.

Other proffessions such as Lawyer, Doctor, Engineer, etc are heavily fought for and usually entail long hours with similar pat to teachers until many years spent in them.

Non-professional jobs will be paid a little bit less than teachers hence the £1500 a month figure, but after tax the figure is less of a difference since the more you earn the more you get taxed.

Belive me any 30K jobs around will be very heavily competed over and only those with shed loads of experience will be selected for interview never mind the job. At 30K level most employers in the UK will be wanting to have more than their pound of blood for the money.

[Nightwish]

Moby has posted repeatedly  about TC ineptitude and stupid comments  -- most of us have applauded without feeling the need to pollute every thread in confirmation -- and it has made zero impact on  TC.

Of all the people whose stories have strong parallels to my own it is Nightwish  ( and a Norwegian guy now married  whose name escapes me)  - the key part being much time on the ground and learning (& learning & learning) .  Of note --  our comments are current(not a decade old)  and are born from substantial time on the ground  .

Of note -- we were both offended at about the same time by the same comments and attitudes TC expressed ---   and over a year later -- has repeated over the last few weeks .So-- what exactly has he learnt?

Then -he has the temerity to start "advising"others -- and rationalising his arse up assumptions !Others who live in the FSU currently have offered gems -that go over his head as he chooses to run with "advice" to those that are "nice" to him!! The list of the well intentioned that have later despaired is long -very long.
None of that has made even a minor dent in the TC skull

Even today -- Nightwish has gone to the trouble of writing a simple plan outline ( btw those estimated  costs could be slashed quite easily) and all TC can do is whine negatives  about it all and why it does not suit him.

Last  -I have often said this type of search is like trying to find a needle in a haystack --but first you have to find the haystack!!   Now in TC case --he has to find the planet the haystack is on !

Yeah I am bored today, my lady with girlfriend is on a Spa-weekend I bought her as an anniversary gift, otherwise I would either be there or spend my time chatting with her on skype as usual 

The estimated cost I laid out was I would say what I would spend on a weekend, probably a little more if it was a "first date" scenario. I would at least not have that amount as a fixed budget. It all depends on the lady you meet and what you want to do while there.
I made it a thing not to "flash" my money around and suggested mid range restaurants that got good reviews in google, but in no way be seen as cheap or saving a buck..

I could make it a thing to suggest we take the metro somewhere "because I want to see how your metro's look and for the experience, living like a Ukrainian" and most of the times the ladies where more then happy to oblige. And when this came up, they often suggested a restaurant or café that was "genuin Ukrainian" = cheap, sometimes very cheap, sometimes ridiculous cheap.. and sometimes, but rarely, not.

I can add that I know not a word of Russian, google translate was and is still my best friend when there.. and I never had any real issues because of that.. I played the "stupid foreigner" many times to get out of awkward situations and just said over and over "english?" "do you speak english?"
More often with the Police then I want to admit 

Three weeks ago I was in Odessa with my girl,
Tickets there was $150
I rented an apartment right smack in the center for $100 (3 nights)
We went shopping twice at the local supermarket ~$50 for the food and water, 4 bottles of wine.
Went out for coffee a couple of times and lunch twice ~$25
Taxi to and from the airport $3

and that was it..that's all I spent 3,5 days in Ukraine with my girl: $ 330 or £240

and I can only do this because I am wealthy you say Trench?

[alex330]

To put it into perspective if you were to Google 'UK Teachers pay' you would get a salary of 23-24K for England, Wales, etc outside of London. Some get more over time after they have been in the teaching profession many years. That 23-24K is before tax.

Hmmm, I did that and it comes up as 37k average with 42k in London.

http://www.bbc.com/news/education-43604858

[Trenchcoat]

Trench - if you are now attempting to downplay your earnings potential to £1500 / gross then you aren't earning enough for your lady to get a spousal visa

I can get over the 18.5k or whatever for a spousal visa since I presently only work a 30 hour week. At the moment I am doing a building project the rest of the week that should bring in a lot more money than working the extra hours though the only problem with this is that it won't show up as salary as it's a Capital gain.

So you see I'm constantly pulled between issues of time, money and basically problems trying to make it all work.

[Trenchcoat]

Hmmm, I did that and it comes up as 37k average with 42k in London.

http://www.bbc.com/news/education-43604858

Outside of London 23-24K. It's more in London because of the crazily absorbantant cist of housing. It's that much in London as they were finding Teachers couldn't afford to live there on the more meagre salary that was closer to outside if London that they were paying a number of years back. Just look up the cost of property in London, particularly central London and you will be stunned.

[krimster2]

" absorbantant cist of housing."

i've heard of housing a "bubble" is a cist like that?

[Boethius]

This is very much worth a thought & a worthy contribution I feel. You've helped me that a lot if women are going to have some character flaw that is likely to be difficult to live with. So if a girl has one flaw it may be a blessing that she doesn't have a different flaw and consider how difficult it may be to work with a girl with a certain type of character flaw. That or look for an  exceptional woman like 2tallbill did. My thought is trying to find a girl without a character flaw and one where there is mutual chemistry may be a tall order. So is the girl still a goer with a character flaw if one can learn to deal with her character flaw? Is a question to ask myself I'm thinking.

Everybody has character flaws.  That's what makes us human. 

[Trenchcoat]

Everybody has character flaws.  That's what makes us human.

Yes but there's flaws and then flawed. How would you enjoy being with a volatile person that goes of on one at every little thing with a big emotional discharge that is both uncalled for, overwhelming and very stressful for others to be around. I'm not talking minor little quirks here or getting picky over the occasional wrong actions of the other but personalities that can make it very difficult for the other person to be in a relationship with them long term if not impossible.

[Boethius]

If you can't handle emotional outbursts, Slavs, in general are not for you.

[Nightwish]

If you can't handle emotional outbursts, Slavs, in general are not for you.

I will simplify that for you:
If you can't handle emotional outbursts, women, in general are not for you.

[krimster2]

when women start mainlinein’ estrogen
and it just passes the blood/brain barrier
you better be safely behind the fortifications of your main cave!

   WORD!

also talking about hormonal perversion
young women produce more testosterone then old men!!!

guys!! watch out!!!
nahhhh! just kiddin’ you’re safe!!!!

Trench? are you for real or just trolling us after all, I’m beginning to think you’re trolling us, so what’s your REAL STORY????

if I catch you, you gotta “fess up” and tell the truth, that’s the rule...

[Trenchcoat]

If you can't handle emotional outbursts, Slavs, in general are not for you.

It varies, it may sound bad but some women crease me up when they are peeved. They pull such funny faces and are kind of amusing in their little strop. Others though range between emotional nutters to just downright scary.

I always say that the ideal women is one that to the man whines like a well oiled machine when she's moaning

[Boethius]

And this comes from your vast experience with one woman for what, a week?


The ideal man is one who has the emotional intelligence to deal with her.  No offence intended, but you're not there yet.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench? are you for real or just trolling us after all, I’m beginning to think you’re trolling us, so what’s your REAL STORY????

if I catch you, you gotta “fess up” and tell the truth, that’s the rule...

All of what I tell you about my story both now and in the past is real. Why would I make it up? I would be making up problems I did not have to solve. I could just proceex mice and simple with everything straight forward.

If you are referring to my lifestyle/economic situation as above I assure you its all real. Life in the UK is not as easy one, you have to try and get to a position where it becomes easier. Jobs do not just fallout of the sky, even basic paid jobs you may lose out on getting many a time even if you have many qualifications and/or qualities. UK Employers are looking to employ workers alays at the cheapest rate possible. Some of the best companies to work for in the UK as US companies, they usually pay much more, give lots of training ate pleasant to work for and are generous to their staff. Alas, they are few and far between ad there are not that many US companies in the UK.

Not wishing to start Mobers off again but it is another reason many voted to leave the EU, the supply of labour from Eastern Europe is surpressing wage growth.

For me I can make more money out of the capital gain from a small building job, i.e buying and renovating a small house in a year than I would on my salary working twice the number of hours I presently do. In fact if far outstrips that. That is how miserly UK employers are, EU employers not a lot better. Still even the money I get from my salaried job far outstrips a lot of the girls wages in Ukraine, but yes I am as a result of the UK economy very much a Capital gain earning type of person than a salary earning type of person.

[Trenchcoat]

The ideal man is one who has the emotional intelligence to deal with her.  No offence intended, but you're not there yet.

Accepted.

[Trenchcoat]

Kind of goes back to the second of the two main issues with last girl I met that I highlighted earlier. That of the shopping spree mentality, I think I could handle this better now having thought it though and may even be able to use it to turn a negative into a plus. Worst case scenario what I have in mind would have no effect and she would be a no go or come up with another way to deal with her.

In the short term though I think it's best to put her to one side and see if there are other girls that might slot into me more easily and on that Nightwish might well have the right way forward so it's worth a shot I'm thinking.

[Boethius]

You still don't get it.  The shopping spree is for a woman who has a particular mentality.  You are going with your assumptions, from your society, and trying to apply them there.  It doesn't work.  A UM would buy a woman things on a shopping trip if he just wants to shag her for a night, a week, a month.  He would know that she is not a serious prospect.

[Trenchcoat]

You still don't get it.  The shopping spree is for a woman who has a particular mentality.  You are going with your assumptions, from your society, and trying to apply them there.  It doesn't work.  A UM would buy a woman things on a shopping trip if he just wants to shag her for a night, a week, a month.  He would know that she is not a serious prospect.

So your telling me the particular mentality of the girl was that she was willing to give sex but thought she should be bought stuff in return?

[Boethius]

It's broader than that.  You can find the same in the UK, North America, anywhere else.  Just the language and the goods differ.

[Trenchcoat]

It's broader than that.  You can find the same in the UK, North America, anywhere else.  Just the language and the goods differ.

She said that we were in a serious relationship and asked if I agreed which I did as that is what I wanted. It looked to me that she was after a permanent relationship. So are you saying that her needs in the relationship was clothes shopping and sex together was all bunfled up into that, yet I assume still saw it as a going concern relationship wise, as a serious relationship?

[Boethius]

No, that's not what I am saying.

She manipulated you with the "serious relationship" line.  She used what she thought would work with you.

You probably have not had experiences with women in the UK with similar mentalities.

ETA - I don't think you will be successful in this venture until you sort yourself out.  I suggest you work on your property, and date UK women - not with a view to a serious relationship or marriage, but just to get more experience with women.

[krimster2]

Trench

in my judgement, it would be hard to bring up and support a family like this, as much as I love my own family, if I were in your situation, I wouldn't go down this path
the odds of success are too small and honestly I think you're wasting the prime of your life over this and should date locally