Russian Women Discussion
RWD Discussion Groups => Scammers and Suspect Agencies => Topic started by: RussianWomenOnly on July 09, 2022, 12:16:19 PM
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Hello Everyone.
I am a new comer for RWD and use online international dating in general. By reading some posts on this great website, I was told to look for love/girlfriend on certain sites and Fdating.com is where I decided to create a profile. I searched and found about 100 woman that I was interested in. One in particular actually responded to my texts/messages. We've met for 10 days now and already, I've chatted with her on Fdating.com, I even video chatted with her on Viber. She's in Moldova and her viber number starts with +373 which is legitimately Moldova. She's very beautiful and I've reversed image search some of the photos she send me through viber and nothing comes up. I even got a starter membership with SocialCatFish.com, I used TINEYE, and nothing comes up.
The only thing that I am worried about is she said she will only have a time frame of 2 months. Within that 2 months or whatever, she wants me to visit her. She keeps telling me I'm handsome and what not and I'm just average looking. I'm Asian, I'm not rich but I do have a stable job. She knows all this. Another red flag that I see is that she will send me short videos like 15 seconds but she never refer or address me by my name. Today, I asked if I can call/video chat with her, she said sure if she has time. Today is Saturday so she shouldn't have no work. She sent me a few pictures. She said she's in Taxi, she did send me a selfie of her in side a car, the dashboard of what it does looks like a Taxi. She then sent me pictures of her holding hands with her son and her mother as they are on a walk. The pictures she sent has a clear picture of what she was wearing. I wanted to call her/video chat so I can see her clothes. However, she refused saying that she doesn't talk on the taxi and that she is spending time with her son and mother. I can kind of understand that because I'm just a guy she just met 10 days ago online.
Throughout our conversations, I kept saying we should start with friendship, courtship, then relationship. She was not opened to that as she said she will only give me 2 months and that I have to visit her soon after. She has not asked for money (Not yet) or saying anything that would say she is in financial need of anything sort.
What I am afraid of is that who I am talking to is not really her but that if I chat with her, it is her but she might be in collaboration with someone. When i chat with "her", it's not really her and that when I do video chat with her is her but that she's in collaboration with someone, which is why she refused to video chat with me and that she will not video chat with me unless her collaborator meets her up and give her the phone to chat with me. Here's 2 pictures of her, can anyone identify her and let me know if she's a scammer?
Side Note: She is very nice and I think she's the one for someone like me. I just want her to be real like not a scammer, will not leave me as soon she gets a greencard/US citizenship. Please help me someone.
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WHY would you entrust your future to a woman who WON'T EVEN CHAT with you?
if she's leading you "down the garden path" NOW just starting out
whadda ya think will happen later?
but...
I know, ya want a WHITE CHICK, right?
I feel ya 'bro
felt the same
but if you're planning on hunting in a dangerous jungle, you better learn WTF you're doing
or you'll be paying for her and her kid, for a long, long time
jungle rules
in Soviet Russia women hunt YOU!
if I were you, I'd stop messaging her
and when she asks WHY?
tell her, you'll start again, but ONLY AFER you chat
and say this is, "to be sure she's serious"
if she says NO or makes excuses, then you have your answer, what more do you need to move on
BTW, asian guys would have MUCH better luck with the babes from kazakstan or Uzbeckistan
you WOULDN'T have to have a woman with kids!!
just sayin' holmes...
Part Dva
If you’re gonna try and have a relationship with a Russian woman
you need to understand a few things from a MAN’S perspective
YOU are the captain, and not her
you set the terms of the voyage, and not her
you are offering her and her child a life raft, in an increasingly perilous sea…
don’t underestimate the gift that you can bestow upon them
however humble
you set the terms, scammers, or wimmin suffering from “cognitive dissonance” (can’t make up mind)
will show themselves in one way or another by erecting obstacles to ANY choice except for WHAT THEY WANT!
If they’re one of these types, then doing this will break their grip over you
and let’s face it, Mr Puppy Love
part of the problem IS YOU….
Please google “co-dependency syndrome”
and make yourself face this demon
because the HOPE of realizing your DREAM has blinded you to the REALITY, and you’re like a man clinging to a life raft
learn to swim, brother
Now, the elephant in the room is “race”
due to the hundreds of years of being sold into the Mongol Slave Market at Bachassari, Crimea
Slavs (slaves!) have the same kinda feeling towards asians, as blacks have for whites
there,s even the Soviet equivalent to the US Western movies, made during Stalin’s time
where the blond Russian hero, fights with Fu-Man-Chu to rescue the beautiful slavic girl
these more rascist than any movie I’ve seen in the USA
just sayin
every body wants a ying to their yang
I get it…
but, just understand, in the FSU, being Asian means the wind is blowing against you and not with you, like it would if you were a tall, handsome blue eyed devil with light colored hair
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⬆️..... This is bad advice for FSU dating in the online era and even more so for the free dating sites, which 95% of male profiles are time wasting keyboard Romeos.
I’ve had a lot of recent experience on fdating..... There are no red flags atm. On face value you’ve met a serious woman, who’s encountered a lot of keyboard romeos, which as I said is typical on fading especially.
First you’re only 10 days in and you’re still in the trust building stage..... She’s done everything she knows she needs to do to show she’s genuine :- Given you her contact details and video chatted.... She would have spent half an hour or more doing her hair, makeup and chose an outfit for your video chat..... I can’t count the woman who have deferred video chatting until she’s “prepared” her self.... This routine might not change until she’s met you in real life.
In my experience early on, women with children will wait until their child is in bed or out of the house so she’s not interrupted during your chat..... Also she won’t want her child seeing her chat with multiple men in their presence, well the respectful, caring mothers at least.
You might think “Well she could send me a picture in the taxi..... why can’t she video chat?”, like preparing for a video chat she probably took 10 pictures before taking the one she sent and she’s definitely not going to have a private video chat in public this early on and not in the back of a taxi.
She’s not mentioning your name in her short videos, because she’s probably chatting with 10 - 20 other men and sending them the same videos.... When she trusts you and she sees you as a potential partner, they will get more personal.
She can spend years talking to hundreds of keyboard Romeos and never have one visit her, so of course she’ll try to lock you down to meet in two months time..... She’s working out if you’re just going to waste her valuable time and cull you if you aren’t serious.
You’ve made a fundamental mistake saying you want to be friends first..... It’s a lesson I learnt on my first day on the site when I was told “I’m here to find my 2 half, not to make friends” then I was ghosted.
You can address her 2 month requirement by stating you’re a serious man with serious intentions and once you’ve got to know each other better, you can decide together when the time is right to meet...... Don’t leave it too long though..... On this point, this isn’t a cheap exercise. The best I can make out from listening to others is you’ll need between 20-50k US by the time she is happily settled in your home, not counting weddings etc.... I know some men who have spent over 100k!!.....If you don’t have a good disposable income or savings you’re willing to dip into, then I wouldn’t waste your time or hers.
Keep doing exactly what you have been.....Your goal now is to build trust, mutual chemistry, and start subtlety flirting in a tasteful manner..... Most importantly make her laugh often!!
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Both very opposite type of answers. I wish with all my heart that this girl is real. We just texted each other for 2 hours later today after I made the post. She was very responsive but no video call. It was very late for her. We started texting about 11:45PM her local time. I asked her flat out whether she is talking to other men. I don't really care if she is because I think she's very pretty and I'm sure there are a lot of other people she's talking to. She just seemed very determined to date first before friendship. She tells me this is Russian culture. I told her friendship first, strong foundation, and build upon that. Again, she disagrees.
Thanks DAVO for telling me about how much it would cost. Right now, I don't have that type of money saved up. I am trying though. I would like to visit her in 5 months time maybe around Christmas/New Year time. But first I want to make sure she isn't a scammer.
Anything else I can do that I haven't done to test her?
Thanks
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The difference in answers is because I’ve chatted with literally a 100 women on fdating and other sites over the past several years and the other poster hasn’t had any experience online...... In that time I’ve deliberately spent time chatting with 50+ scammers on multiple sites for the learning experience. This woman isn’t showing any scammer red flags atm..... She’s doing everything right so far that I’d expect a genuine woman to do...... You don’t need to do any tests, a scammer always shows their hand.
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"right now, I don't have that type of money saved up. I am trying though."
dewd, NO...
"that type of money"
whatcha talkin 'bout Willis!!!
that type of money???
AND she has a kid, are you serious?
love costs a lot to buy, my friend
and your case it's gonna be MUCH cheaper for you to rent
go to a strip bar in Kyiv, you can get a girl all night for $500!!!
she'll be 20ish, about an 8 to an 8+
in the old days these number were higher
the strip club in the Dnipro Hotel Ground floor, huge stage and dance floor
had SUPER nice girls, who wanted to "practice English" with you
in the distant past, I rented a boat in Odesa, and had the gangsta naked women on a yacht thang goin on....
fishing totally sucked, but the view was freakin AMAZING
a mile offshore and you can get wasted and have a threesome, with everyone completely naked
and it could easily be transacted, if you wanted it to be
or just BYOB
once you get your gaskets all BLOWN, you won't be so freakin' horny all the time
so you can spend more time figuring out how to make s'more money holmes
DAVO,
you are "completely missing the point"
this is a CONTROL ISSUE
she ONLY ALLOWS him a certain amount of limited access
ONLY WHEN SHE WANTS
this is a classic "control scam"
EXPERIENCED GUYS who've dated and/or married beautiful FSU
generally agree on the following principle"
if an FSU woman is "in to you" you will 100% know it, she'll make it CLEAR
if she's not, you'll "have doubts"
maybe some day you'll get around to learnin that to Davo!!!
oh BURN!
need some ointment?
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I just want her to be real like not a scammer, will not leave me as soon she gets a greencard/US citizenship. Please help me someone.
My advice is to ask the mods to take down her photo. There are idiots
on the internet with nothing better to do than to cause you grief. You
don't need that.
If she won't video chat with you that's a really bad sign. She might be
worried about her English, but most good women will want to chat with
you and fumble along with Google Translate rather than not chat at all.
If she won't agree, then my advice is to move on.
Udachi!
Bill
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Anything else I can do that I haven't done to test her?
Thanks
Don't test her, a good girl (which is what you want) will get pissed off.
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She was very responsive but no video call.
It was very late for her. We started texting about 11:45PM her
local time. I asked her flat out whether she is talking to other men.
She will only want to turn on the camera if she dolls herself up first.
Set up a time to chat in advance and she will probably do it.
Don't worry about other men. If you get on a plane to visit her she
will dump them faster than cottage cheese with mold growing on it.
She just seemed very determined to date first before friendship. She tells me this is Russian culture. I told her friendship first, strong foundation, and build upon that. Again, she disagrees.
Thanks DAVO for telling me about how much it would cost. Right now, I don't have that type of money saved up. I am trying though. I would like to visit her in 5 months time maybe around Christmas/New Year time. But first I want to make sure she isn't a scammer.
Thanks
She's probably not a scammer. She is spending too much time with you.
If she agrees to video chat then you can be even more sure. If you worry
too much about scams you will lose good girls.
Waiting till Christmas is too long. Somebody else might decide to visit her
and you will be the one dumped like moldy cottage cheese.
You don't need $20-50k to get started, you just need enough money to
visit and rent yourself a flat for a week to ten days. But start saving money
because you will need it eventually.
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DAVO,
you are "completely missing the point"
this is a CONTROL ISSUE
she ONLY ALLOWS him a certain amount of limited access
ONLY WHEN SHE WANTS
this is a classic "control scam"
EXPERIENCED GUYS who've dated and/or married beautiful FSU
generally agree on the following principle"
if an FSU woman is "in to you" you will 100% know it, she'll make it CLEAR
if she's not, you'll "have doubts"
maybe some day you'll get around to learnin that to Davo!!!
oh BURN!
need some ointment?
FFS he’s only 10 days in!! .... What you think she’s going to commit to chatting 8 hours a day and a 1 hour video chat every 2nd day so soon?..... At this point he’s just another man out of the hundreds she’s already met online and she's a single working mother...... He’s not even on her top 10 list of priorities at this point if time.
One video chat, 2 hours chatting in one sitting like today and sharing photos and videos is an excellent start this early on..... In a couple of weeks he’ll know if she’s genuinely interested in him, when she commits more time to him..... One thing you don’t want to do 10 days in is bombard her constantly..... Quality conversation not quantity is what he needs to do in these early days.
If that’s your idea of a burn, then you better send me some SPF 1 😂
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day-yam, he's THAT FAR to the "back of the line"?
wow!
didn't realize, it was that BAD for the agency users
not only is he NOT even on "first base" yet...
hell he ain't even within a hundred miles of the ballpark
and ALREADY he's feelin some major ANGST....
thinkin maybe this ain't gonna be for him
I still stick by my tried-and-true rule
that your "gut" will tell ya all that you need to know about the woman's feelings or lack there of
but co-denpendent types can't let go of the fantasy they create for themselves
don't cling to false hopes based on self-deception and/or deception from agencies
get REAL
DAVO, why on earth would anyone serious use an agency?
just bacause they can do it "after work" on their PC in their bedroom, for a small amount of money while watching X-File reruns?
and then they TOTALLY buy the fanatsy the agency is selling them HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER!
THAT'S A POOR MAN'S DREAM - now aint it?
and like most dreams, not too well founded in reality
still no ointment?
your call, mr tough guy!!!
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day-yam, he's THAT FAR to the "back of the line"?
wow!
didn't realize, it was that BAD for the agency users
not only is he NOT even on "first base" yet...
hell he ain't even within a hundred miles of the ballpark
and ALREADY he's feelin some major ANGST....
thinkin maybe this ain't gonna be for him
I still stick by my tried-and-true rule
that your "gut" will tell ya all that you need to know about the woman's feelings or lack there of
but co-denpendent types can't let go of the fantasy they create for themselves
don't cling to false hopes based on self-deception and/or deception from agencies
get REAL
DAVO, why on earth would anyone serious use an agency?
just bacause they can do it "after work" on their PC in their bedroom, for a small amount of money while watching X-File reruns?
and then they TOTALLY buy the fanatsy the agency is selling them HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER!
THAT'S A POOR MAN'S DREAM - now aint it?
and like most dreams, not too well founded in reality
still no ointment?
your call, mr tough guy!!!
Where did anyone mention an agency?..... I’ve dated on western sites like zoosk, POF, tinder, etc... Fdating is no different, except now most western sites require a subscription......This is modem dating and it’s no different between western dating and FSU.....Meet online chat for a while and if there’s chemistry then you meet for a date.
Look Krim call me what you want, but at least I’m not a complete and utter BS artist trying to impress a group of random strangers..... I’ve said it before, you have nothing to offer any newbie except BS and fantasies. We aren’t 14 year old teens who are easily impressed by the ramblings of the older kids in the play ground..... Yes you tell a good yarn, but since you time travelled back to give your first GF a smart phone to impress Trench, you lost any credibility you once had..... Hanging out at a factory gate and enticing a poor women with cheap makeup or your gas, ass or grass advice, if true is pathetic!!.... If any newbie seriously took this advice onboard as a potential way to attract a FSU woman, then he’s as stupid as they come.
Don’t even get me started on the man hole cover car armor plating story..... You obviously have never welded cast!! 🤦🏼♂️..... Your wife getting shot when a hit man tried to take you out..... Your drug empire and hiring hot Chinese chemists, being a made man in the Russian mafia..... How gullible do you think we are?...... Trench the chance that his daughters are engaged to oligarchs sons is about the same as you dating a hot anti-feminist British model who wears mini skirts in the dead of winter.
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One of my question is that could it be someone else that I am texting with on Viber? Can someone else be texting me and that for video chat is really her and she gets paid by the real scammers? She has sent me a few short videos of the girl in question (same girl as in the photos) that are 10-15 seconds each. Could it be someone else on the doing the texts? I only video chatted with her once (30 minutes) and we are suppose to video chat again sometime today.
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"You obviously have never welded cast!! "
cut into strips, not welded...
I offered to prove with hospital records from Costa Rica, the situation with my wife to the last "doubter"
but he didn't accept my terms
keep tryin...
be more funny
noobs are completely unable to learn anything from me
because I was never a "modem dater"
you wanna put yourself on tinder with gazillions of others
then your outcome will be FAR WORSE then if you were a PHYSICAL DATER instead with "one-on-one"
a predator, who hunts the prey in their native habitat
instead of lookin at em on a "trail cam" at HOME...
since you guys aren't ABLE to go hunting in person "abroad"
this is ALL you have
for the MAJORITY of you, it's completely pointless
sad...
I admit to some hyperbole...
but the essence of what I write is true
i'm just a simple story teller tellin stories, that's all
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Just chatted with her again for about 30 minutes. One thing she always does is that she always deletes all of her messages on Viber after our conversation. Is this a red flag? But the reason she deleted her messages I think it's because she got upset with me. I talked about how when I was in the military, I was away from my wife (Now ex-wife. Separated for 4 years now) for over 6 months. I said, I kneeled and prayed and cried every night during basic training. She sent me a message saying she's not a psychiatrist and went offline. She didn't block me because when I sent her messages afterwards, it still shows 2 grey checks meaning she received the message on her phone but not seen. I really think she's legit and that I have a good chance here. Guys, thoughts?
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duh!!! hand smacks forehead....
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To Krimster2: Can you explain to me why that is a red flag? More detail please. I am very new to this. I asked her why and she said she thinks network is evil. But to me, we're just people online trying to talk to each other. She says she does it all the time and it's not a big deal. I'm just confused.
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"network is Evil" LOL
she doesn't want the "other guys" she's making money from, to see your messages
but don't worry, she also deletes theirs as well
more red flags than a Soviet era Victory Day parade
you're like "a city boy" with no experience in the wild
who's decided to go hunting in a ferocious "dog-eat-dog" jungle, marked by the ruthless self-interest of all you come into contact with
what do YOU think's gonna happen to ya?
you also don't have the financial resources this exercise requires...
all in all, a total waste of your time
you should instead be spending this time figuring out ways to make yourself "better"
both financially and get some local dating experience, before you go down this path
otherwise it'll end up being a disaster for you in one way or another
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Just chatted with her again for about 30 minutes. One thing she always does is that she always deletes all of her messages on Viber after our conversation. Is this a red flag? But the reason she deleted her messages I think it's because she got upset with me. I talked about how when I was in the military, I was away from my wife (Now ex-wife. Separated for 4 years now) for over 6 months. I said, I kneeled and prayed and cried every night during basic training. She sent me a message saying she's not a psychiatrist and went offline. She didn't block me because when I sent her messages afterwards, it still shows 2 grey checks meaning she received the message on her phone but not seen. I really think she's legit and that I have a good chance here. Guys, thoughts?
Not sure about the deleting of messages, but her being abrupt with you is another sign in my mind she’s not a scammer..... You can say pretty much anything to a scammer, even offensive things and they will stay steadfast to the plan / script.
You’re making basic mistakes that apply to western dating too..... You shouldn’t be talking about ex’s so early on, unless she specifically asks and then keep the details to a minimum and put a positive spin on it ..... Once you meet and there’s strong chemistry, then you can have deep and meaningful conversations about negative things / relationships in your past.
You need to come across as a strong “mans man” and a leader. Telling her sob stores like you cried every night will get the same abrupt result from most FSU women on day 11..... Like I said before, in this early phase you should make it light and playful, make her laugh often, flirt and leave her feeling happy and wanting more when you say goodbye..... As a rule every 3-5 comments I’d put some humor in my replies, depending on the subject..... Remember your not only trying to impress her, her girlfriends are hearing everything you say and picking it apart.
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:welcome:
Both very opposite type of answers. I wish with all my heart that this girl is real. We just texted each other for 2 hours later today after I made the post. She was very responsive but no video call. It was very late for her. We started texting about 11:45PM her local time. I asked her flat out whether she is talking to other men. I don't really care if she is because I think she's very pretty and I'm sure there are a lot of other people she's talking to. She just seemed very determined to date first before friendship. She tells me this is Russian culture. I told her friendship first, strong foundation, and build upon that. Again, she disagrees.
Thanks DAVO for telling me about how much it would cost. Right now, I don't have that type of money saved up. I am trying though. I would like to visit her in 5 months time maybe around Christmas/New Year time. But first I want to make sure she isn't a scammer.
Anything else I can do that I haven't done to test her?
Thanks
She's absolutely right in FSU (Former Soviet Union) culture women don't do friends then date, that's western bs. Typically I hear that FSW (Former Soviet Women) tend to stick more with females as friends. If a FSW does 'friend' you then it's generally a bad sign so far as wanting a relationship goes as a relationship is likely to never happen as she's sees you as a 'friend' and not a 'romantic prospect'. My reading of that is that potentially to women in the FSU almost any male could be a potential partner and potentially a good one. Out there the economy is not so good and a guy that can provide may be seen as a better choice by a FSW than a guy she thinks is attractive. Your banging on about being friends is I'm afraid probably not helping you. In fact you're kind of lucky she knows that it's a thing I'm the west as otherwise she might wonder what your game is.
Both Krim & Davo give good sound answers and are right. The only point of dispute is whether she is a scammer or not. That's not always easy to tell without first hand being there it could be either way. I'm not sure why she is deleting messages on Viber as surely only a guy with her might glance and see it on her phone. Could the husband still be on the scene??? That she says she has a son and sent you photos to me says she may be legit as most scammers will know that most guys go for women that don't have kids so adding a kid when she needn't adds little.
I can't say for certain that she isn't a scammer of course but I would say continue and learn more. Odds are she will only want to invest so much time before asking for money, etc. So I would say continue and it will help you learn more about whether a woman is a scammer, or isn't being quite straight with you, or is legit. It will also help you learn more about FSW and dating them. I know that it's easy in the beginning to put one foot in it after another but after a while you learn the scene and can avoid faux pas's on a regular basis.
I would say on the money front don't sweat it. However if you go for a woman with a kid that is going to increase the cost of getting her and the kid over to you. Sometimes the father if he is still hanging around wants paying off to allow release of his child to go abroad - some guys have got stung real bad in that. Then there are the extra visa costs and costs for the child once in your country. That's why a lot of guys (like myself ;) ) avoid women with kids. Sure less competition from other men but it tends to add to the complexity and cost of what is already a somewhat complex & costly task. I myself don't have a lot of money but am still willing to pursue this endeavour. However I live in the UK and a fair amount of cost is on the state, if in the US then yeah it's likely to cost a fair way more pretty much every which way.
Lastly I would say don't get hung up on this woman, sure if all seems right enough to visit her but there is no telling if she will be right for you when you meet. Going there and learning though helps a lot it's what I've done so far. If it doesn't work out learn from it and try for other women as you could meet a better match, good luck!
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Forgot to mention also don't get too tied up if there are other men messaging her, I did that when I started off. It's basically a pointless affair asking as you need to go visit her first and see if you are into each other before anything can happen. So who cares if she gets messages from other guys? You might meet and there be no chemistry so then you won't care less just as you may be messaging other women. Until you both meet and decide you wish to commit to each other then it's really a non-issue. If you decide she's not worth going out to fly over and meet then again it's a non-issue. People are essentially free to message who they wish to in terms of potential suitors up until the point of agreeing commitment. So makes no sense for either side to limit down the field beforehand. So I wouldn't fret about that, it's something to set aside and press onwards.
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It’s untrue that FSUW, at least in Slavic republics, don’t have male friends.
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Trenchcoat: Thank you very much for that. I am very confused as to why she wants relationship before friendship. That just seems so upside down. How can a marriage last if you are not friends to get to know each other first then commit? As for child, its something I can accept. There's no way I will only get her here to the US without her child. I know it cost more and maybe more complicated but it doesn't worry me. If I can find true love with this woman, I will accept her child as my own. And for the red flags, yes I see red flags, which is why I am not going to visit her until I am completely satisfied with everything and that it's not a scam.
Thanks everyone for your wisdom and advice, please keep them coming.
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It’s untrue that FSUW, at least in Slavic republics, don’t have male friends.
Yes, they have male friends but usually they don't see them as romantic
interests. I believe the point he was trying to make was for a guy trying
to be their romantic interest, being friend zoned, so to speak, isn't good.
Was it Trench who said that? He is almost always wrong, but I think many
FSUW have friends with their girlfriends man/husband or some such, and
classmates where they don't have any romantic interest.
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Trenchcoat: Thank you very much for that. I am very confused as to why she wants relationship before friendship. That just seems so upside down. How can a marriage last if you are not friends to get to know each other first then commit? As for child, its something I can accept. There's no way I will only get her here to the US without her child. I know it cost more and maybe more complicated but it doesn't worry me. If I can find true love with this woman, I will accept her child as my own. And for the red flags, yes I see red flags, which is why I am not going to visit her until I am completely satisfied with everything and that it's not a scam.
Thanks everyone for your wisdom and advice, please keep them coming.
I’m not sure how much dating you’ve done after your divorce, but I would have thought it’s similar in the US to most other western countries..... When you meet a person who’s previously a stranger, you meet for a date and if there’s chemistry and mutual attraction you might be intimate that day or maybe after 2-3 dates. After the friendship grows the more time you spend together..... In my opinion sexual chemistry is as important as friendship. You can be the best friends in the world, but it doesn’t mean you’ll be compatible on a sexual level.
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DAVO: pertaining to sexual relations, I'm more a traditionalist. Not to mention STDs. I don't just jump into bed with anyone even if the girl is very beautiful and wants to have sex. Kinda want to protect myself. However, if she and I do commit to that point, and I know she don't have any disease, you don't have to worry. I know I can satisfy her.
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Dewd, the Andromeda galaxy is closer to us than you are to getting into bed with this woman…
chill…
what does she WANT?
MONEY!!!
when does she want it?
NOW!!
this is why she wants to put pressure on you to come in the next 60 days,
which means you’d have to start planning your trip NOW…
BECAUSE that’s when yur gonna open the “money spigot” and start spendin it on HER
because she’s gonna start needin some of THIS and some of THAT, la-dee-da...
and if she doesn’t freakin GET IT?
then she’s gonna make you feel, well...JUST LIKE YOU FEEL NOW…
don’t you understand how she’s CONTROLLING YOU?
YOU FEEL this way, because SHE WANTS YOU TO!
If I were actually in some jungle doing ACTUAL HUNTING with you
I’d be freakin worried about your personal safety
it’d be like someone who never saw a single animal their entire life
suddenly comes face to face with a man eating lion
you have NO IDEA WTF you are dealing with, and you already have this forlorn unrequitted love
thing goin on,
this makes you EASY PREY for a predator or scammer
This is almost as bad as the last time I was in China, many of the young engineers I worked with had virtual girlfriends on their phones,
they took their virtual girlfriends WAY TOO SERIOUSLY
also you no-speaka de Moldovan, so she brings a translator, who also NEEDS to be paid
as a result, your mutual communication is practically non-existant, it'd bee like talkin through the old google translate...
Don Quixote had better luck with windmills, then what you're gonna get followin this path...
think about WTF not getting laid is doing to your thinking
forget the mumbo jumbo friends BS, just go "get some"
WTF?
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what does she WANT?
MONEY!!!
when does she want it?
NOW!!
You're as good as ever Krim :D
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Trenchcoat: Thank you very much for that. I am very confused as to why she wants relationship before friendship. That just seems so upside down. How can a marriage last if you are not friends to get to know each other first then commit? As for child, its something I can accept. There's no way I will only get her here to the US without her child. I know it cost more and maybe more complicated but it doesn't worry me. If I can find true love with this woman, I will accept her child as my own. And for the red flags, yes I see red flags, which is why I am not going to visit her until I am completely satisfied with everything and that it's not a scam.
Thanks everyone for your wisdom and advice, please keep them coming.
The 'getting to know you part' will happen at the start of a romantic relationship in the FSU anyway. It is already happening to some extent as you are messaging each other. The first girl I met in the FSU, in Kyiv I spent the week with, we got on well spent time visiting attractions together, we had no sex, I did not ask nor push to be intimate, it didn't go any further after we met. So you can meet and get to know each other like that, some guys have continued with a girl after a meeting like that and then had sex/long term relationship, some don't as there was no chemistry so they move on. The main thing is to drop talk of friends here they just don't phrase the 'getting to know you' phrase as that, it's not to say they don't do it but likely they tend to do getting to know you phrase quicker than in the west rather than a long drawn out affair, I would avoid that. That said I wouldn't push for sex early on, let things take their natural course. It's kind of reading the dialogue as you go when you meet and I think on that one Krim is right when he points to experience being a good guide.
Do you know how old the Son is? and How much do you earn? Roughly. I ask as these are both very relevant and connected. It's fine saying stuff like you wouldn't do it without bringing her son over (FSW tend to be very connected to their offspring anyhow) but it's going to be a huge financial outlay on your part. Your in the US not the UK where education is free, benefits for this, that and the other exist, where dentistry is free for kids, hospital is free, etc, etc. The flight over will cost more also for her and child, she will also want to visit back home quite possibly. She is also unlikely to be able to work unless her English is good and she is willing. A FSW alone can be a big financial burden but that increases substantially with a child. Money will be flowing out of your account with spend, spend, spend. Every few moments she will need something for herself and her child so watch your hard earned cash drift away fast! The big downer for you is that you are in the US where you have to foot the bill for everything yourself personally. In the UK I could be 'kid needs to go to hospital, school, dentist - great no cost there' in the US as you know you will be tapped for everything. Then at any point after obtaining her Green Card she can leave you, no guarantees in all of this.
It's why I only go for women without kids, it's just too costly to set off on that foot and that's as a UK guy. I messaged some girl early on when looking in this venture with a kid. It quickly dawned on me that it's a place I wouldn't like to be economically from the get go. I can get on fine with other people's kids but it's just the economic cost and paying for someone else's kid doesn't jive with me. A FSW loyalty will be with her kid first you second if you're lucky. I'm not saying don't go out and meet her but if you have to search again really consider searching instead for women without kids in my opinion.
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She speaks good English but of course with a strong accent when I video chatted with her. But her level of English is really good with texting. I don't see this as a red flag because I had a Russian friend in college and her English speaking skills was ok with strong accent but her writing was actually better than mine (I'm Asian but I've grew up in the US).
Yes, I understand the financial obligation and burden if I decided to go through with this. If everything works out as in she is real and not a scammer and there is nothing that is fake (husband still around, she only wants a green card, she only wants to come to the us and leave as soon as she is able, etc, etc), then of course I will support her and her child.
I can make up to $100k a year given that I start a new federal contracting job in a few weeks plus I have a side hustle.
(Not to boast or be prideful but) I am not a stupid idiot. I have a MBA, had 4 years of federal government experience, was in the Army National Guard.
Again, thanks for all the replies.
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Trenchcoat: Thank you very much for that. I am very confused as to why she wants relationship before friendship. That just seems so upside down. How can a marriage last if you are not friends to get to know each other first then commit? As for child, its something I can accept. There's no way I will only get her here to the US without her child. I know it cost more and maybe more complicated but it doesn't worry me. If I can find true love with this woman, I will accept her child as my own. And for the red flags, yes I see red flags, which is why I am not going to visit her until I am completely satisfied with everything and that it's not a scam.
Thanks everyone for your wisdom and advice, please keep them coming.
You've already gotten a hodgepodge of advice. Some of it good and some not so good. All of it worth what you paid for it. My experience is from years ago but I believe it is just as pertinent now as it was 15 years ago. My advice is, quit with the paranoia and looking for "red flags". If you're looking for them, you will definitely mind f@ck yourself and find them even when they're not there. She will find them from you if she's looking for them to, are you for real? If you are looking for a woman for a long term relationship you'll have to throw caution to the wind and "trust her".
Forget what the meatheads here tell you including me. No relationship on the footing of suspicion and mistrust can stand anyway. You are either all in this or you are not. If this lady is a scammer or real with ulterior motives you'll find out soon enough. The current path you're on is going to destroy it anyway. Trust her in what she tells you or move on to another. Yeah, kind'a like you would a local gal. Get it?
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She speaks good English but of course with a strong accent when I video chatted with her. But her level of English is really good with texting. I don't see this as a red flag because I had a Russian friend in college and her English speaking skills was ok with strong accent but her writing was actually better than mine (I'm Asian but I've grew up in the US).
Yes, I understand the financial obligation and burden if I decided to go through with this. If everything works out as in she is real and not a scammer and there is nothing that is fake (husband still around, she only wants a green card, she only wants to come to the us and leave as soon as she is able, etc, etc), then of course I will support her and her child.
I can make up to $100k a year given that I start a new federal contracting job in a few weeks plus I have a side hustle.
(Not to boast or be prideful but) I am not a stupid idiot. I have a MBA, had 4 years of federal government experience, was in the Army National Guard.
Again, thanks for all the replies.
Moldovans like Ukrainians learn English at School but their level of fluency depends on how well they naturally take to it, effort they put in. Some carry on learning post School age, the first girl I met took it as an optional Unit in Uni. Literally you would hardly know she wasn't English, virtually no accent, understood everything I said and could speak very fluently, she was modest about her level of English but it was pretty much perfect.
I think if that's the sort of money you can bring in then you won't have issues there. Your bigger issues are likely to be as Krim pointed out how you handle them and your ethnicity. The problem with not getting many women up on Fdate is that the ones that do come up could potentially be more likely to be dodgy. If you're not getting much response out of 100 women to there then that points to a real problem/issue and that is likely as Krim stated to be Ethnicity. Another guy I know on here who messaged me a while back was of Indian background, he too had a real tough time finding women out that way and last I heard still was. If I were you I would also consider South America, it's way nearer to you than the FSU it will have the same women desperate for a better life but because they also aren't white they may be more accepting.
I'll be honest if it were me and I was a US citizen I would seriously consider going to South America over the FSU, convenience is a big positive in this venture I think and the nearer a country is the more convenient it will be and so the more resources you can easily bring to bear.
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Trenchcoat: Yeah, I know there are beautiful woman everywhere. But let's just say what really gets me going are the Eastern European women. The blond hair and green eyes, even their accents. It's just how God made me.
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Trenchcoat: Yeah, I know there are beautiful woman everywhere. But let's just say what really gets me going are the Eastern European women. The blond hair and green eyes, even their accents. It's just how God made me.
Hmnnn... Well that tends to come from when the Vikings invaded South all the way down from St. Petersburg to Ukraine direction. Others are from Mongolian stock also Tartars, some Cossacks and possibly some original inhabitants and maybe a few Turks, etc. Probably a lot of inter-racial breeding of those groups along the way. Some women may not be blond but dye their hair but there are many blondes in Russia & Ukraine due to the Viking invasion. However some recent scholars have disputed whether the Vikings were as consistently blond as we have thought they were with many dark haired people also joining their ranks from southern & eastern Europe.
Remember though women always want to date across or up on the general scale of things. So it's what do you offer her?
Faux Pas I think gives some good advice despite his adversarial nature. If there is something not adding up with a girl there is probably a reason. It may not always be that she is a scammer, it may be quite benign but if it gets you thinking of her in a distrustful way then as FP indicates it can get the ball rolling. That's not to say to set aside your instincts but that it may not be the right girl for you as a result.
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My advice is, quit with the paranoia and looking for "red flags". If you're looking for them, you will definitely mind f@ck yourself and find them even when they're not there. She will find them from you if she's looking for them to, are you for real? If you are looking for a woman for a long term relationship you'll have to throw caution to the wind and "trust her".
Forget what the meatheads here tell you including me. No relationship on the footing of suspicion and mistrust can stand anyway. You are either all in this or you are not. If this lady is a scammer or real with ulterior motives you'll find out soon enough. The current path you're on is going to destroy it anyway. Trust her in what she tells you or move on to another. Yeah, kind'a like you would a local gal. Get it?
+1
Advice from the Kinks
Paranoia
"Silly boy, you got so much to live for
So much to aim for, so much to try for
You're blowing it all with paranoia
You're so insecure, you self-destroyer"
to RWO
You have to assume this is a good girl or you will drive yourself
nuts and her into the arms of another man. Always stay cautiously
optimistic. Always drive the relationship forward to the next step.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSKKvnA47aU
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NO WAY BEEL!!!
I ALWAYS listen to what the whispering voice I hear in my head tells me...
an inexperienced westerner, dealing with a poor, single mother, Moldovan woman
WILL GET USED
IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER
just like HE THINKS he's gonna USE HER for SEX
I got news for this poor feller,
he has NO CLUE what he's walkin' into
and whether his wallet's gonna be "ambushed" at some point or not
you may wanna go "innocent till proven guilty"
but actually, it should be the other way around
based on the probabilities for who he's dealin with
also, he HAS NO CLUE what kind of difficulties he'd experience actually LIVING with her and her child
or how to handle them....
IF HE CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THIS!!!!!
so y'all should just "get real" about this
horrosho
this board HAS SEEN what these meltdowns look like
they ain't pretty
he's too inexperienced to survive in the jungle he wants to enter...
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DAVO: pertaining to sexual relations, I'm more a traditionalist. Not to mention STDs. I don't just jump into bed with anyone even if the girl is very beautiful and wants to have sex. Kinda want to protect myself. However, if she and I do commit to that point, and I know she don't have any disease, you don't have to worry. I know I can satisfy her.
Chemistry is different than swordsmanship skills. Do you mutually want to
to throw all your clothes off and wrestle all day? If one of you doesn't want
that then, you have to move on to find the girl who does.
You will not know the answer to that question until you meet in person and
look into her eyes.
The musical philosophical messaging of Cheap Trick says it all.
"I want you to want me"
http://youtu.be/-qgpewMCVjs
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NO WAY BEEL!!!
an inexperienced westerner, dealing with a poor, single mother, Moldovan woman
WILL GET USED
IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER
just like HE THINKS he's gonna USE HER for SEX
I got news for this poor feller,
he has NO CLUE what he's walkin' into
and whether his wallet's gonna be "ambushed" at some point or not
you may wanna go "innocent till proven guilty"
but actually, it should be the other way around
based on the probabilities for who he's dealin with
also, he HAS NO CLUE what kind of difficulties he'd experience actually LIVING with her and her child
or how to handle them....
IF HE CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THIS!!!!!
he's too inexperienced to survive in the jungle he wants to enter...
Krim, you and I are what's known as Old Married Bast@rds.
We both wondered into the jungle slayed a number of Jungle Wildcats
and came out with HOT RUSSIAN WIVES wearing bikini's made of
wildcat fur.
It's easy to dismiss newbies as they seem to know little of the dangers
of the jungle or of Tiger teeth.
Our job is to send them off into the Jungle with a little advice, a few anecdotes,
a rape whistle, a pocketful of condoms and a bottle of Bactine antiseptic and let
them find a hot wife or to become Tiger poop. The Jungle tends to sort things out.
(http://groovyhistory.com/content/440958/424aa9f258a6b5bee16d15fb583e382e.jpg)
Udachi!
Bill
PS to those who want to learn about my own experiences as a steaming pile of
Tiger Poop you can read all about it here
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=3432.0
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OK, sure treat the noobs like they're Russian soldiers sent out to die for the motherland!!!
yeah, OK!!!
why not?
I like your style!!
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I don't just jump into bed with anyone even if the girl is very beautiful and wants to have sex.
Now that's pretty weird.
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I am very new but I'm not a stupid idiot. I know the red flags but this girl, I think she's legit. I know 100% she is talking with other men just as I am messaging other women as well. It's like throwing out a big net and see what you get. However, I think I want to pursuit her all the way. Even if she's a scam, at least I tried. The most money I will spent is probably buy a plane ticket, book hotel and go to Moldova for a week to visit her. No direct money to her but indirect money for me to meet her face to face and spent time with her. Let's say she doesn't show up at the airport, oh well, I get to have a week vacation and I haven't taken a real vacation for over 14 years. So for me, I'm committed to her and I want to make it work. I just need to know more about Eastern European or FSU women better. Do they really want to get married just meeting a person 2 to 3 weeks? Do they really want to leave their country that bad? I am just not sure but I am open to that possibility because who knows? Maybe she does want to marry me even though she and I have only known each other like 2 weeks. IF she's real, not a scammer, and will not leave me as soon as she gets a green card and what not
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I am very new but I'm not a stupid idiot. I know the red flags but this girl, I think she's legit. I know 100% she is talking with other men just as I am messaging other women as well. It's like throwing out a big net and see what you get. However, I think I want to pursuit her all the way. Even if she's a scam, at least I tried. The most money I will spent is probably buy a plane ticket, book hotel and go to Moldova for a week to visit her. No direct money to her but indirect money for me to meet her face to face and spent time with her. Let's say she doesn't show up at the airport, oh well, I get to have a week vacation and I haven't taken a real vacation for over 14 years. So for me, I'm committed to her and I want to make it work. I just need to know more about Eastern European or FSU women better. Do they really want to get married just meeting a person 2 to 3 weeks? Do they really want to leave their country that bad? I am just not sure but I am open to that possibility because who knows? Maybe she does want to marry me even though she and I have only known each other like 2 weeks. IF she's real, not a scammer, and will not leave me as soon as she gets a green card and what not
RWO I think you're doing right by seeking out gaining experience in this as often people can say stuff but to really understand it going out and experiencing it can be needed. All I would say on that front is don't be too soft by which I mean if she gets demanding don't be a push over.
Women vary, some it may take more visits, if she want marriage on the first visit be careful not to say good marriages haven't come by that way but more often it's better to not try to rush it too much, not be too slow either. If you are not willing to live with her in her country which will of course require you to maintain an income somehow then she will have to come and live in your country. My guess is the majority of men looking want the women to live in their country because of economic and convenience reasons. Remember she is giving up being near her family assuming she has much family or gets in with them so that is usually a lot for her to give up.
Most of the women on International Dating sites like Fdate will be there because they are willing to leave their home country for a life with a guy abroad. I have asked many FSW why on this question and it's usually pointless to do so as you'll get a stock answer like 'being with the right man is the most important thing so it doesn't matter where in the world'. All I can say is if you go for a woman that wants to live abroad then that comes with her potentially having all sorts of different motives for doing so - I figure that is what the guy risks by taking that path in the girl comes to my country situation.
Don't worry about a no show, the fact that she is spending so much time talking to you particularly over a number of weeks almost guarantees by most FSW character that they will show up, they aren't flaky like western girls. The only time they don't tend to show up is if you are on a pay per message site in which case it was all about paying for the messages. Fortunately you are on a free site so no problems there, as long as she doesn't ask you for money for flight tickets or anything else before you meet you should be ok.
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She speaks good English but of course with a strong accent when I video chatted with her. But her level of English is really good with texting. I don't see this as a red flag because I had a Russian friend in college and her English speaking skills was ok with strong accent but her writing was actually better than mine (I'm Asian but I've grew up in the US).
Yes, I understand the financial obligation and burden if I decided to go through with this. If everything works out as in she is real and not a scammer and there is nothing that is fake (husband still around, she only wants a green card, she only wants to come to the us and leave as soon as she is able, etc, etc), then of course I will support her and her child.
I can make up to $100k a year given that I start a new federal contracting job in a few weeks plus I have a side hustle.
(Not to boast or be prideful but) I am not a stupid idiot. I have a MBA, had 4 years of federal government experience, was in the Army National Guard.
Again, thanks for all the replies.
As usual, IQ and education have nothing to do with the ability to deal with women. ZERO. Write after me : ZERO, DOUBLE ZERO, TRIPLE ZERO.
I know a criminal case where the woman had an IQ equal to a mule, and the male victims were educated and smart, but they still ended in a coffin.
I know another criminal case where the guy was a top executive in a bank, a guy very rich, very educated. She drugged him (a Russian woman installed in France), and he was put in a car top on of a cliff, and the car was gently pushed by two gangstas she recruited. He was still conscious when the flight began as the coroner said, enough to see his end, but could'nt even lift a finger. As usual, as a woman, she got barely half of the sentence a man got for such a crime and I am pretty sure she is out of jail now. This is the new equality in the adjusted modern western world as you know.
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I am very new but I'm not a stupid idiot. I know the red flags but this girl, I think she's legit. I know 100% she is talking with other men just as I am messaging other women as well. It's like throwing out a big net and see what you get. However, I think I want to pursuit her all the way. Even if she's a scam, at least I tried. The most money I will spent is probably buy a plane ticket, book hotel and go to Moldova for a week to visit her. No direct money to her but indirect money for me to meet her face to face and spent time with her. Let's say she doesn't show up at the airport, oh well, I get to have a week vacation and I haven't taken a real vacation for over 14 years. So for me, I'm committed to her and I want to make it work. I just need to know more about Eastern European or FSU women better. Do they really want to get married just meeting a person 2 to 3 weeks? Do they really want to leave their country that bad? I am just not sure but I am open to that possibility because who knows? Maybe she does want to marry me even though she and I have only known each other like 2 weeks. IF she's real, not a scammer, and will not leave me as soon as she gets a green card and what not
Telling an FSU woman that you want to start a relationship by a friendship is a big mistake, that's is the exact opposite of how it should work
in the Eastern European countries.
So she starts to believe that you are a weirdo.
This nonsense comes from your western culture that had washed your brains and cut your balls.
Dating, romantical, relationship with an Eastern European woman lands ALWAYS in a bed. The shorter the better. Not too short also because no women want to feel like a slut.
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"I asked her flat out whether she is talking to other men"
If you have so many insecurities inside you I would advise you to clean it up first, before starting dating FSU women, because they smell it ten miles away. And you are dead very quickly or just maintained in the relationship to be abused (for benefits, for HER benefits).
The real men don't care about other men until things are really serious and get engaged, like fiancee or marry her. At this moment you have to check if you are not just used because a lot want a provider but get the right bang with another lover or will develop some romance later to get some spice (generally with a local). Most westerners cannot detect the hidden games she is playing meanwhile.
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Side Note: She is very nice and I think she's the one for someone like me. I just want her to be real like not a scammer, will not leave me as soon she gets a greencard/US citizenship. Please help me someone.
You are already developing fantasm and misleading about someone you don't know.
It is named in the game ONE ITIS.
That's very bad and lead to a lot of deception, fraud, abuse, depression, and suicides in the end for humans in relationship.
You are projecting...
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I am very new but I'm not a stupid idiot. I know the red flags but this girl, I think she's legit. I know 100% she is talking with other men just as I am messaging other women as well. It's like throwing out a big net and see what you get. However, I think I want to pursuit her all the way. Even if she's a scam, at least I tried. The most money I will spent is probably buy a plane ticket, book hotel and go to Moldova for a week to visit her. No direct money to her but indirect money for me to meet her face to face and spent time with her. Let's say she doesn't show up at the airport, oh well, I get to have a week vacation and I haven't taken a real vacation for over 14 years. So for me, I'm committed to her and I want to make it work. I just need to know more about Eastern European or FSU women better. Do they really want to get married just meeting a person 2 to 3 weeks? Do they really want to leave their country that bad? I am just not sure but I am open to that possibility because who knows? Maybe she does want to marry me even though she and I have only known each other like 2 weeks. IF she's real, not a scammer, and will not leave me as soon as she gets a green card and what not
Go to Moldova, that's the best you can do. However, members here will explain to you why, try to contact at least four other girls in the area before landing there. Do it two or three weeks before your departure. Get good masturbation before, to let down the stamina and stop to focus on this girl because until the meeting that's just a chat and nothing else. The girl can dislike you and disappear after one hour. Or just keep you to train her English for the next and have a good time in nice restaurants.
Your girl looks like an 8, nothing special in FSU.
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avoid telling to FSU women that you "I talked about how when I was in the military, I was away from my wife (Now ex-wife. Separated for 4 years now) for over 6 months. I said, I kneeled and prayed and cried every night during basic training."
Women don't like wishy-lavy and weak men, they flee them. Especially FSU women.
It's not romantical, it's pathetical, and that's an embarrassment for a woman.
If you continue to bring to them your western shit payload all real women will avoid you (this is why she told you "I am not a shrink")
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RWO,
you’re looking at this like it’s a “binary” thing, she’s either a “good girl” or she ain’t…
it’s NOT like that AT ALL, and this is what we’re tryin to tell ya
There is one thing “I GUARANTEE” is gonna happen if you pursue this “relationship”
at some point, you’re gonna start spending MONEY ON HER
and when you do, she’ll create “a feedback loop” that increases your happiness
(in your case of SEVERE sexual deprivation, it’ll of course be SEX)
in direct relation to your level of generosity towards her
and if by chance, you pass below the lowest acceptable level of “generosity”
then she’s gonna make you feel – just like ya feel now
CUZ, you are not giving her what SHE WANTS!
and here you are ON THE FIRST STEP of a 7,000+ miles journey...
can't you see this about yourself?
It's highly likely a Moldovan single Mother is gonna have PTSD…
do YOU know how to handle women with PTSD?
If you DON’T, they’ll make your life a LIVING HELL!
And 500 other small details like these, that you have NO CLUE about….
It would be a MUCH wiser choice for you to climb a few local hills FIRST
BEFORE you try to climb freakin' Mt Everest
or you gonna end up as tiger poop, in one way or another...
if you ain't hideously ugly, I'd get a dark Armani suit, gold rimmed aviator sun glasses
one of those $300 haircuts
and go to Uzbeckistans or Kazakhstan, and just "hustle the girls" at the market
100% you'd get some hits
all your credit cards will work there, unlike Russia, for example
Tashkent is now fully westernized, toilette wise....
and PS
in "relationship Algebra"
a woman having a child is a BIG negative, for TWO reasons
#1, you have a child, that's NOT YOURS to support, children are VERY EXPENSIVE! and what if you DON'T GET ALONG with them (especially as teens)?
#2 squeeze a chicken sized object down a vaginal canal, and whadda ya think happens? now couple that with an average, or below average penis size... OK, get it?
I bet you didn't think ABOUT THIS, now did ya? again, cuz ya don't KNOW EVEN BASIC STUFF, that experienced guys had TO LEARN!!!!
Imagine your shock at the first time you tried to have sex with her, and it was like sticking a pencil into a train tunnel, vrs glove tight fit of women without kids...
thank heavens for designer vaginas, "we can build back better"
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Telling an FSU woman that you want to start a relationship by a friendship is a big mistake, that's is the exact opposite of how it should work
in the Eastern European countries.
So she starts to believe that you are a weirdo.
This nonsense comes from your western culture that had washed your brains and cut your balls.
A relationship with an Eastern European woman lands ALWAYS in a bed. The shorter the better. Not too short also because no women want to feel like a slut.
Some great advice Pat all of it. I think for RWO this is the biggest take away that men in the west are socialised not in a good way. Socialisation in the west has changed a lot in recent decades I think and the results are not at all pleasant. A lot of whiney outpourings of emotional content that is supposedly to help connect with each other but is really often getting kind of embarrassing to see especially in men. I'm not saying we don't feel stuff but it's stuff we need to deal with and internalise until we do or at least don't share the full on details of such stuff with a woman or someone where it will get out.
For me getting out to the FSU is a great get away from the bs I see happening today. Today's youth, particularly men are being brought up with such silly ideas that it's really very concerning. Out in the FSU we can gratefully kiss goodbye to feminism and all sorts of silly stuff they try to push on us men. As I said before it can take a good few days to become acclimatised to FSU culture after living a long period in the west.
The stuff you say about the girl having her own life where she lives is real good stuff too. A lot of guys don't think of that they think they are some kind of gift to her. If she's above average looks then there could be a strong likelyhood that she has stuff going on where she lives. One of the previous girls I met I get a fair inkling now that she was dating at home around/between the time I was seeing her, I can't prove it but being above average looks and some subtle signs now tends to make me think that was the case.
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I mean I know a lot of this may sound a bit weird to you RWO but when you change culture's it what you can get, you get used to it and the more you get exposed to it the more you get it. It's just a case of playing the game their way rather than the way we play it in the west. So be sure not to take your western values with you when you go fly over I've learnt that doing so just tends to mess things up, as many have explained the women just don't understand it.
I think one thing with this girl as Pat points out she is reasonably attractive, probably around the 8 out of 10 looks range. That while as Pat says not too uncommon for Ukraine tends to come with associated problems. A girl below average in looks say a 3 or 4 out of 10 probably won't be as much of a problem, you'll likely still need to act somewhat like most FSU men would as in being the man but they'll have fewer options and be more grateful that you chose them. Again I wouldn't dissuade you from seeing this woman for the experience but I wouldn't get too wrapped up in her.
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In my experience early on, women with children will wait until their child is in bed or out of the house so she’s not interrupted during your chat..... Also she won’t want her child seeing her chat with multiple men in their presence, well the respectful, caring mothers at least.
You might think “Well she could send me a picture in the taxi..... why can’t she video chat?”, like preparing for a video chat she probably took 10 pictures before taking the one she sent and she’s definitely not going to have a private video chat in public this early on and not in the back of a taxi.
She’s not mentioning your name in her short videos, because she’s probably chatting with 10 - 20 other men and sending them the same videos.... When she trusts you and she sees you as a potential partner, they will get more personal.
She can spend years talking to hundreds of keyboard Romeos and never have one visit her, so of course she’ll try to lock you down to meet in two months time..... She’s working out if you’re just going to waste her valuable time and cull you if you aren’t serious.
You’ve made a fundamental mistake saying you want to be friends first..... It’s a lesson I learnt on my first day on the site when I was told “I’m here to find my 2 half, not to make friends” then I was ghosted.
You can address her 2 month requirement by stating you’re a serious man with serious intentions and once you’ve got to know each other better, you can decide together when the time is right to meet...... Don’t leave it too long though..... On this point, this isn’t a cheap exercise. The best I can make out from listening to others is you’ll need between 20-50k US by the time she is happily settled in your home, not counting weddings etc.... I know some men who have spent over 100k!!.....If you don’t have a good disposable income or savings you’re willing to dip into, then I wouldn’t waste your time or hers.
Incredible analysis mr. Davo! I don't know if you are playing the devil's advocate here as we don't know many
details about this woman, but your take on this case is quite different from krimster's!
I am of the thinking that you can give the benefit of doubt to a woman sometimes, but obviously not when there
are red flags present. I think that video calls are not a requirement always. As you point out, she has already video
called with him so he has already verified there is a real woman behind the comm and not a catfish, which I believe
nowadays are the least of FSU scams.
If there is a "collaborator" or pimp as the OP points out then it would definitely have to be a sophisticated scam.
At this point, no money has been asked for so no worries yet. I like the power of phone calls, a little bit old fashioned
yes, but still powerful. Like it was back in my early dating days, you only had phone, no texting, no video calling.
We are living in the future and yes, all these technologies have become mainstream but like Davo points out perhaps
she doesn't feel Video call ready and prefers to post pone or use other means of comm like chatting.
Her setting a timeframe for you to actually go meet her is NOT necessarily a BAD thing like you may be thinking and
I agree with il Davo as well. Perhaps in this case you might want to discuss or "negotiate", so to speak, the timeframes
in which you will be available to actually go meet her. If 2 months is too soon for you, tell her: Hey listen, I agree with you
that it I don't want to communicate for months or years on end and not meet, but to be honest 2 months for me is too
fast and I have this _________ and that ______________ (specify your personal reasons or commitments) and so what
I can offer is 3-4 months time. " or "My max would be 6 months, so if you don't agree then I will accept this and move on,
but I do have important projects I'm carrying out at the moment and I just can't pause them now, bla bla bla"
The idea is to tell her you are really serious about this, and yes, you fucked up by telling her you wanted
"friendship"! Cut the bullshit, you are not fucking dating locally to have all that time available. Tell her, yes I'm
looking for my other half(my future wife or whatever) too so I will do my best to go and meet you in person as soon
as I can. "
I read you want to go there as a "vacation" for 1 week. Big mistake! If your plans are to meet women for dating or marriage
you should at least be there for 3 weeks, ideal would be 1 month. Like other guys say, don't just communicate with this
one lady, try to get another 2 or 3, remember you may still get flaked on or something may happen that will be a deal
breaker, either for you or for her. This is why you need more leads. This woman looks beautiful like you say, but it's bc
of this that she is corresponding or chatting with other men. Even if she says the contrary, don't fall for it, but don't tell
her and don't question it. Just demonstrate your best qualities and be happy that she is giving you a shot.
Don't fuck up!
Interesting thread that developed from your story though, I see Pat got on a roll with his analysis of the situation as well! haha
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I chat with her almost everyday on Viber. Sometimes just for 30 minutes, sometimes 2 hours. It really depends. This again shows me she's not a scammer because she's not devoting so much time telling me she wants to marry me and what not. She chats when she's available and I'm okay with that since I am very busy working everyday as well. Of course, yes I know in my heart she is chatting with other men but that's okay. I message other women as well but at least right now, she's #1 on my list.
I understand trying to meet more than 1 woman on an actual visit. I will take that advice and work on it.
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This again shows me she's not a scammer because she's not devoting so much time telling me she wants to marry me and what not. She chats when she's available and I'm okay with that since I am very busy working everyday as well. Of course, yes I know in my heart she is chatting with other men but that's okay. I message other women as well but at least right now, she's #1 on my list.
I seriously doubt that she is a scammer.
I understand trying to meet more than 1 woman on an actual visit. I will take that advice and work on it.
A strategy is the action plan that takes you where you want to go,
the tactics are the individual steps and actions that will get you there.
You are using meet ONE tactics with a meet many strategy. Chatting
every day with the same girl is a meet ONE tactic. She is going to expect
you to meet ONLY her. She will be hugely disappointed to learn you are
meeting others.
MY Advice is to continue with your meet one strategy BUT to have a back
up plan. If you meet this girl and you don't have chemistry, then you go
out and meet other girls using your backup plan.
Udachi!
Bill
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avoid telling to FSU women that you "I talked about how when I was in the military, I was away from my wife (Now ex-wife. Separated for 4 years now) for over 6 months. I said, I kneeled and prayed and cried every night during basic training."
Women don't like wishy-lavy and weak men, they flee them. Especially FSU women.
It's not romantical, it's pathetical, and that's an embarrassment for a woman.
If you continue to bring to them your western shit payload all real women will avoid you (this is why she told you "I am not a shrink")
Not quite the same concept, but . . .
When I was a 17-18 year old boy in US Navy, I associated with a lot of bar gals in Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Philippines, etc. Big Surprise !!
Anyway, during my first visit in Japan the gals asked me what my 'line of shit' was.
I assumed they meant a 'story of my father being president of some large company, etc.'
Anyway, I told them that I didn't have a 'line of shit.'
Then, they started referring to me as 'the guy without a line of shit.'
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Get good masturbation before, to let down the stamina . . .
My man Pat with the practical advice!!
On two occasions with two different FSU gals, I jerked off in the afternoon before our evening date because I was sure nothing was going to happen and I didn't want blue balls.
Both times, the gals wanted sex.
Luckily, I was able to perform. But that was like 15 or more years ago.
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Not quite the same concept, but . . .
When I was a 17-18 year old boy in US Navy, I associated with a lot of bar gals in Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Philippines, etc. Big Surprise !!
Anyway, during my first visit in Japan the gals asked me what my 'line of shit' was.
I assumed they meant a 'story of my father being president of some large company, etc.'
Anyway, I told them that I didn't have a 'line of shit.'
Then, they started referring to me as 'the guy without a line of shit.'
Interesting. So you performed well and got an award.
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My man Pat with the practical advice!!
On two occasions with two different FSU gals, I jerked off in the afternoon before our evening date because I was sure nothing was going to happen and I didn't want blue balls.
Both times, the gals wanted sex.
Luckily, I was able to perform. But that was like 15 or more years ago.
the man who comes without any libido pressure is a rare species for a woman, an experience that she should be investigated. They feel this type of thing.
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I seriously doubt that she is a scammer.
A strategy is the action plan that takes you where you want to go,
the tactics are the individual steps and actions that will get you there.
You are using meet ONE tactics with a meet many strategy. Chatting
every day with the same girl is a meet ONE tactic. She is going to expect
you to meet ONLY her. She will be hugely disappointed to learn you are
meeting others.
MY Advice is to continue with your meet one strategy BUT to have a back
up plan. If you meet this girl and you don't have chemistry, then you go
out and meet other girls using your backup plan.
Udachi!
Bill
We had constantly different opinions here on this board about WOVO and WMVM, and I will not talk about this again.
However Bill is right on one thing, this girl now believes that you lead a WOVO. The last, VO, visit one, is the most important even if she could believe that you lead a WMVO (writing many) as she does.
So everything you do with other women should be hidden from this one and you gonna do this in a professional manner to not to be caught.
FSU women are quite good to extract the shit of you in this department, so you need to be good and capable to juggle between different communications, meetings, and so on. If you are not used to managing different women at the same time your chances are quite low to keep all the herd in the dating pool.
But you will be rewarded because it's very exciting and you multiply your chances tenfold by meeting several women.
Last thing: you damned need to know from which city and which part of Moldovia she comes from and learn some information about this country, politically, economically... If you are marrying a woman you are not just trimming a pussy... Knowing from which side is she is damned important, not obvious in Moldovia.
The actual "political compatibility" in the war context is of prime importance nowadays.
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I would recommend you consider bailing on this woman for three reasons -
1. Single mother. You may find that she's unable to leave the country because of her ex. You're signing up for more trouble than it's worth.
2. Moldova. It is a de facto war zone. Logistics may easily become untenable, not just to meet but for ongoing travel. How will she visit parents, etc.?
3. Mindset. Go back and absorb Pat's posts. I don't think you're mentally ready and need to "get your house in order".
Not saying to put a big fat red line through her name (like for Ukraine) but familiarization with some cold hard truths are likely to be beneficial.
Krimster was put out to pasture during the days of Kuchma. Pat and Davo are actively dating. Pat's advice was stellar. Go back and read his posts, gold nuggets.
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I would recommend you consider bailing on this woman for three reasons -
1. Single mother. You may find that she's unable to leave the country because of her ex. You're signing up for more trouble than it's worth.
2. Moldova. It is a de facto war zone. Logistics may easily become untenable, not just to meet but for ongoing travel. How will she visit parents, etc.?
3. Mindset. Go back and absorb Pat's posts. I don't think you're mentally ready and need to "get your house in order".
Not saying to put a big fat red line through her name (like for Ukraine) but familiarization with some cold hard truths are likely to be beneficial.
Krimster was put out to pasture during the days of Kuchma. Pat and Davo are actively dating. Pat's advice was stellar. Go back and read his posts, gold nuggets.
RWD123 is making a very good point :thumbsup: , and you need to sort it out, the sooner the better. Are her children in a position to leave Moldovia easily, what is the position of the father about this?
Let me explain what happens because it's worth explaining.
The guy could think that her ex is with a rich guy and he can extract some benefits
the guy is jealous and just wants to screw up her new relationship
The guy has left her city and cannot be found.
The guy has left the city and has left the country, he is maybe in the CE, maybe in Ukraine, maybe in Russia, or in another country,
good luck finding him and asking him to sign a document. Especially in wartime and in warzones. If he's dead good luck retrieving the death certificate... You can spend years to find him and at the last moment, he can show his finger also.
Before circling around her pussy for months you should fix this problem asap.
Because the chances that she can fly without authorization with her child are NONE
And the chances that she lets her child in Moldovia are close to ZERO.
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I would recommend you consider bailing on this woman for three reasons -
1. Single mother. You may find that she's unable to leave the country because of her ex. You're signing up for more trouble than it's worth.
2. Moldova. It is a de facto war zone. Logistics may easily become untenable, not just to meet but for ongoing travel. How will she visit parents, etc.?
3. Mindset. Go back and absorb Pat's posts. I don't think you're mentally ready and need to "get your house in order".
Not saying to put a big fat red line through her name (like for Ukraine) but familiarization with some cold hard truths are likely to be beneficial.
Krimster was put out to pasture during the days of Kuchma. Pat and Davo are actively dating. Pat's advice was stellar. Go back and read his posts, gold nuggets.
The point 2. Moldova. It is a de facto war zone. Logistics may easily become untenable, not just to meet but for ongoing travel. How will she visit parents, etc.?
should absolutely be checked. RWD123 is absolutely right about this.
Let me explain:
One of my teachers of Russian is from Transnistria and was forbidden to reenter her area after a trip to Spain.
I told her that I was ready to welcome her if she was really in trouble because for Moldovian girls their money burn in CE faster than a plane in a crash at Tenerife airport.
Finally, she could come back but the travel was hell for more than 24 hours.
So you better know if you can enter Moldovia or not and where exactly.
As usual, many westerners are chasing a chick without any knowledge about the political, economical, or cultural aspects of the FSU.
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Thank you for highlighting the points about the ex husband and child. These are all good points that I was going to find out eventually. I actually did speak her earlier today and at first she said she was going to talk about this topic but then I asked her direct is the kid's father still around. She said she has no idea where the father is. Her son is 8 and she said he left them since he was 2 so at least 6 years no contact. I remembered she said she was "alone" since 2016 a few days ago so unless she's a really good liar, the timeline is correct. This is good because if she told me the father is still around and he wants money so he can sign waiver or whatever then that's a huge red flag.
Please keep the advice and wisdom coming.
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Knowledge and experience are “as good as gold”
and you are “flat broke” rwd123
and without even a SINGLE NOTCH on your gun belt
but sure, go ahead and “talk” like you’re a big fearsome gun slinger
and wave your little toy derringer around
Postscript
I’ve seen this phenomena before with Asian men
they hit a certain age, and if they aren’t “getting any pooty-tang”
then they come up with the idea of “gettin married” as a method to obtain said pooty-tang…
when I was a little boy, my mother raised “budgies” in her aviary, which was in an old greenhouse
I learned that if a bird was kept alone, it developed “behavioral problems”
so the birds HAD to be paired
this is what RWO is facing, something like this
then throw in some of that anima and animus as described in Carl Jung's school of analytical psychology
and you can see how this all originated…
yes, I’m “OLD SKOOL”
but so freakin what?
At least I’ve LEARNED something from livin my life…
unlike my detractors…
RWO, why do want to settle for a woman with a child?
Just because of your experience HERE in the USA with how the women HERE rate you?
How do you know what your market value is OVER THERE? (HINT: It WILL BE MUCH HIGHER THAN HERE!)
Unless you go and find out
Uzbekistan or Kazakhstan
custom tailored Armani suit (don’t wear ANYTHING off the rack, everything must be fitted)
gold rimmed aviator glasses
a $300+ tip haircut
you're a CRAZY RICH ASIAN!
areas around universities will have the highest ratio of English speakers
spend two weeks there learning how to hustle the wimmin
when I was younger, I started with a 50% success rate on Khreshchatyk Ulitsa, and it went up from that once I was experienced and learned how to "read" the wimmin
this BEATS THE HELL out of modem dating, like a Mike Tyson vrs Steven Hawkings kinda beatdown!!!
are you a man EAGER to go and explore the world, or just a Couch Potatoe jiggling his modem?
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I chat with her almost everyday on Viber.
Your viber chats are video chats?
She is not from Transnistria?
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We had constantly different opinions here on this board about WOVO and WMVM, and I will not talk about this again.
However Bill is right on one thing, this girl now believes that you lead a WOVO. The last, VO, visit one, is the most important even if she could believe that you lead a WMVO (writing many) as she does.
So everything you do with other women should be hidden from this one and you gonna do this in a professional manner to not to be caught.
FSU women are quite good to extract the shit of you in this department, so you need to be good and capable to juggle between different communications, meetings, and so on. If you are not used to managing different women at the same time your chances are quite low to keep all the herd in the dating pool.
But you will be rewarded because it's very exciting and you multiply your chances tenfold by meeting several women.
Moby is gone. You and I are more than capable of having an intelligent
conversation about visit many vs visit one. If somebody goes WOVO then I
highly recommend having a backup plan.
A clever FSUW will smell it out if you are visiting many. They can perform
intense interrogations making the Gestapo seem shy and reticent by
comparison.
Besides, if a beautiful a woman is sitting naked in your lap whispering sweet
words in your ear. Who will dump her on the floor just so they can meet
a different but fully clothed girl at a café for lunch and a conversation?
If there is no mutual chemistry when they meet then in my experience, no
FSUW that I've come across is going to worry about you dating others.
Since he has already steamed down this path for so long, I would recommend
going WOVO for a day or two to see if this girl is the one, but if she's not then
he goes on to meet others.
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Thank you for highlighting the points about the ex husband and child. These are all good points that I was going to find out eventually. I actually did speak her earlier today and at first she said she was going to talk about this topic but then I asked her direct is the kid's father still around.
I have advice about this AFTER you meet in person. This can definitely bite you in
the butt later. If you meet in person and have mutual chemistry remember to ask
me and the forum about this. Until you get the first meeting out of the way, there
is no reason for me to spend the time and cyber ink to tell you how to proceed.
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Tallbill: they are text message chat. I only video chatted with her once. However, I just video chatted with her just now for an hour! No red flags at all. Just normal conversation. She was smiling/laughing the whole time. She introduced me to her son. I really feel good about this girl. But I feel I can go forward from this to get more detailed information about her and her family. I definitely will ask about her ex-husband even though she said no contact whatsoever for the last 6 years. However, I feel there is progress and I will ask again among other things.
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As others have told you; the fact she has had no contact with ex will mean zilch when she tries to take child out of country.
He will be required to give permission.
I don't know the procedure; but claiming his location is not known will involve many many documents and documented attempts to find him before any waiver could be obtained. Several years could pass during this process.
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As others have told you; the fact she has had no contact with ex will mean zilch when she tries to take child out of country.
He will be required to give permission.
I don't know the procedure; but claiming his location is not known will involve many many documents and documented attempts to find him before any waiver could be obtained. Several years could pass during this process.
I didn't want to get into it unless he meets her and they hit it off.
She needs to start a legal case against her ex claiming ZERO child support.
The long lost father case disappears once he arrives and says "Here I am
to save the day!"
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Tallbill: they are text message chat. I only video chatted with her once. However, I just video chatted with her just now for an hour! No red flags at all. Just normal conversation. She was smiling/laughing the whole time. She introduced me to her son. I really feel good about this girl. But I feel I can go forward from this to get more detailed information about her and her family. I definitely will ask about her ex-husband even though she said no contact whatsoever for the last 6 years. However, I feel there is progress and I will ask again among other things.
Don't worry about her ex until you meet her in person and hit it off.
Start planning your trip to see her, that's the next step. You should
be always firmly guiding the relationship to the next step OR you
dump them. It should always be next step or next girl
Every newbie should write this on a 3x5 card and put it on their fridge
1. It should always be next step or next girl
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She needs to start a legal case against her ex claiming ZERO child support.
And I suspect that is not a short (in terms of time) process.
Might even require quite a costly process to show substantial effort toward attempts to find him.
Probably more than just running an ad in local newspaper of his last known address.
We know the total costs (I mean the real total, total, total including perhaps long term support of family left behind) of bringing even a young single gal to our home is substantial.
The above would be an add-on.
Might be worthwhile to think about going the gay route and finding a mate in your local city.
But I hear the Queens can be a real handful also, so not a given.
Maybe best would be castration to get over this silliness totally.
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Tallbill: they are text message chat. I only video chatted with her once. However, I just video chatted with her just now for an hour! No red flags at all. Just normal conversation. She was smiling/laughing the whole time. She introduced me to her son. I really feel good about this girl. But I feel I can go forward from this to get more detailed information about her and her family. I definitely will ask about her ex-husband even though she said no contact whatsoever for the last 6 years. However, I feel there is progress and I will ask again among other things.
I would say you may well feel good about this girl, she is hot and giving you air time, being pleasant to you, but hot women can turn on the charm. End of the day she might only be doing it for her long term benefit. In my opinion it really takes time of actually being with each other in person before many a person may become invested in each other. I wouldn't read too deeply into any online connection.
As far as the son is concerned odds are she will most likely be committed to him and her concerns revolving around him. A life in the US brings much opportunity with it, a good education, careers, good income, etc. It really is a life away from the poverty ridden hole she is now in now suffering in the wake of the virus, economic downturn and bordering a country at war. YOU RWO are basically potentially a big find for her - she can get over to the US and get all of that. As soon as the two years are up she can drop you like hot coal, many guys before you have had similar happen. Sure some guys here have taken on a woman with a child and made it work but you are going for an 8 on the looks scale here. What about other guys hitting on her or her hitting on them? What if she wants to get back with her husband or him with her? What if she just ups and leaves after the two years?
Basically you will have paid a lot of outlay and this woman could easily take advantage of you. She has loyalty to her son in all of this more than you. I don't wish to depress you on this RWO but while I wouldn't know for sure what her real intent is she has way more to gain in all of this than you.
When I was starting out on this search I was talking to a hot single mum in Tashkent. She was going to great lengths of sending me long emails all about where she lived, it's history, her son, life, etc. After a bit she wanted to know if I had my own house - rented or owned, etc. Her concern obviously if her son would be well catered for. Her son you could tell was obviously the sun that lit up her day and basically her life. I decided to end it at that point, I could see that she was devoted to her son and I would be taking all the risk and burden without her probably having little interest beyond what she wanted for her son - once she had that she could wave me bye, bye leaving me in used in an economic mess.
So it dawned on me pretty quickly that I had better bail quickly and move on. It was hard, she was hot but the equation was all one sided and I had no wish to be used as a stepping stone and left in an economic mess or paying to support her child and her having no real ties to me and leaving at the drop of a hat. I know I said it's ok to check it out and gain the experience but I worry that you may be suckered in by her beauty and charm and get blinkered to the danger, think it over.
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This is very simple:
Do ,or do not.
There is no try.
Yoda was brilliant.
Find out if its even possible to meet her
If not,move on.
If so, and you are genuinely interested, , go meet her as soon as you can.
Period ,end of all mental gymnastics.
On who to visit, you spent time communicating and wanted to meet her right?
So meet HER.
Leave the others for when this doesnt pan out,you crossed the bridge too far already with this one to do.wmvm.
If you make other plans,whatever.However be aware if she has any indication of such at this point, it will likely change the entire dynamic of your meeting,which is everything
As far as talking about other women,past or present, its simply a very bad idea in any early stage .
You arnt even in a relationship,but you do hope to be.
Do not bring up old emptional crapola over another woman,ever
.
Repeat that 100 times.
It is not somethimg she cares about or wants to hear about.
It is exactly why she told you she isn't a shrink.
That is just normal directness.
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Can someone tell me more as to what I need to do or find out about the ex-husband. If I wanted to bring them both over, do I need his consent?
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Can someone tell me more as to what I need to do or find out about the ex-husband. If I wanted to bring them both over, do I need his consent?
Nothing. You haven't even met this lady. Your cart is currently well before a horse that doesn't even exist yet. You are stuck in a mindset that you've found your puppy and and ready to bring it home. She is not a puppy and you are not bringing her home. At least not at this juncture.
Go meet her. This is your first and only priority. Planning a life with her and bringing her child into your warped mindset shouldn't even be a consideration at this stage. Go meet her. Confirm that there is a mutual respect and genuine like of each other. Gauge the chemistry and determine if you feel the same way then that you do now.
Her child shouldn't even be a consideration for you right now. You have no real relationship with a text buddy to bring a child into. Skipping the courtship or attempting to will lead you down a path of doom. The choice is yours
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RWO,
have you considered what the effects are of squeezin an object the size of a large chicken
down a woman’s vaginal canal?
hint: it DOESN'T return to its original SIZE!! (unless you do vaginal reconstruction!!)
So, if you have a “pencil dick” (I ain't sayin you do, just sayin IF you do), then when “you stick it in”
you ain’t gonna be touchin nothin but air…
as opposed to being gripped by a strong farm girl’s contracting vaginal muscles
that feels like it wants to arm wrestle your willy
ok?
course none of the “experts” are gonna “clue you” about this
but imagine, the first time you have sex with her, and THIS is what you experience!!!
me, I’d have a “backup plan” for sex, also most likely birth control will be condoms over there!!
so, if I were you I’d get an HPV vaccine
I’d doubt very much that she’s had very many sex partners, other than ex-husband
so I would’t worry needlessly over the list of STDs
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hint: it DOESN'T return to its original SIZE!! (unless you do vaginal reconstruction!!)
Totally false.
Under your logic, our butt holes would not return to original size after a large poo poo session.
I have had sex with several women who had two children, and several women who had zero children.
No noticeable difference.
I am not pencil sized, but claim nothing more than average.
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Totally false.
I'll second this.
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well, you're BOTH what I like to call "wrong"
http://www.glamour.com/story/vagina-after-baby
...You'll have a (slightly) wider vagina.
VERY understated....
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OK, then you must have a hugely wide butt hole by now.
I don't.
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"butt hole" would ONLY be a problem if you "passed" something out of your rectum, the size of a large chicken
do that, and afterwards you can keep your wallet up there with plenty of room to spare!
In order to have proper input towards making your claim of “no difference”
you need to have had sex with the SAME WOMAN, before she had her first child, as well as after
and not comparing two separate women, one with no births, vrs another woman with one or more births
that’s some REALLY sloppy data gathering there….
But, dear gentle readers,
imagine, but for a moment, that this DOCUMENTED phenomena (just google it)
actually DOES HAPPEN to the OP!!!
imagine, the shock, the horror, and then when his willy retreats like a frightened baby turtle back to its shell…
the embarrassment!!!
Meester MBA,
your acquisition cost for your proposed merger
will have a very negative impact on “operating costs”
my estimation of the lowest level cost of raising a child is maybe $10,000-$20,000/yr
times 8 years
what about college, car, etc?
And what value does he add to the deal?
Do you know what your legal liability is in terms what’d it cost you each month in support
just her
vrs her and HER child
if she divorces you
what do you think this EXTRA cost and risk is buying YOU?
WHY, are you willing to agree to such a BAD DEAL
is THIS the only DEAL anyone has offered you?
And so you’re starting to freak out, that you ACTUALLY MIGHT get some pooty-tang??
and you don't wanna blow your ONE big chance at finally gettin some...??
cuz, that's what it's startin to look like to me...
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Can someone tell me more as to what I need to do or find out about the ex-husband. If I wanted to bring them both over, do I need his consent?
I don't know anymore than has been said on that one but there can be a big economic advantage in the Father suddenly emerging out of the woodwork. Other posters in the past here have said that the Father often wants 'paying off' in order to give his consent to allow the child out of the country - that means You! Lol. Yep, it means they'll all expect you to pay of the guy and nice big wad of money for him to sign the consent form to allow the child out of the country. That as you can imagine is one of the reasons a lot of western guys in the know on that just avoid FSW with kids altogether it can be time consuming, expensive, aggravation, stress and ordeal at its worst. Even if it seems all a smooth affair at outset it can change overnight. The odd few guys have had a smooth enough ride given the likelihood of it not likely being so but most I think suffer. On top of that there is no telling if it's all just a scam, you pay Father a load of money and later on it all falls apart and she was in league with husband all along.
So yeah I wouldn't get carried away at the moment, if you do meet her think of her as one woman to meet of many potential candidates as it's best to set aside sentiment with FSW I think.
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well, you're BOTH what I like to call "wrong"
http://www.glamour.com/story/vagina-after-baby
...You'll have a (slightly) wider vagina.
VERY understated....
Ahh caught by the headlines again..
Things can also feel looser down there post-childbirth, but it tends to gradually go back to normal. If, however, you have a very large baby (or have had many babies), it might not go back to exactly the way it was before. The telltale indicator is tampons: If you insert a regular tampon and it ends up sliding out over time, that can be a sign that your vagina is ever so slightly wider than it was prebirth.
So, if you have a “pencil dick” (I ain't sayin you do, just sayin IF you do), then when “you stick it in”
you ain’t gonna be touchin nothin but air.
The old phrase "takes one to know one" comes to mind. Not having had any difficulties with this, I bow to your experience.
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Are you kiddin me?
My willy is SO BIG, that it graduated a year ahead of me in high school…
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Nothing. You haven't even met this lady. Your cart is currently well before a horse that doesn't even exist yet. You are stuck in a mindset that you've found your puppy and and ready to bring it home. She is not a puppy and you are not bringing her home. At least not at this juncture.
Go meet her. This is your first and only priority. Planning a life with her and bringing her child into your warped mindset shouldn't even be a consideration at this stage. Go meet her. Confirm that there is a mutual respect and genuine like of each other. Gauge the chemistry and determine if you feel the same way then that you do now.
Her child shouldn't even be a consideration for you right now. You have no real relationship with a text buddy to bring a child into. Skipping the courtship or attempting to will lead you down a path of doom. The choice is yours
X1000
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Can someone tell me more as to what I need to do or find out about the ex-husband. If I wanted to bring them both over, do I need his consent?
There are 7,197 steps to this process that must happen for you to live happily ever
after with a FSUW and you are currently on step #8, but worrying about step #1102.
I wouldn't worry too much before you travel to the FSU and everything goes swimmingly
during your visit (step #27).
A child can't leave the FSU (or the USA) without consent of both parents.
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How would I know or how can this woman proof to me that the husband consents? What if they cannot find the husband?
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How would I know or how can this woman proof to me that the husband consents? What if they cannot find the husband?
Once the smell of money is in the air it's unlikely you'll have trouble finding the Father likelihood he will find you. Some guys over there are such poor Father's that it's music to their ears that sone dude is going to pay thousands upon thousands of pounds/euros/dollars to them. He may even want to hold out for more if he thinks you're good for it. Others quite likely know more on this than me here but it's the gist of it all. All asking for a lot of trouble which I wouldn't want over someone else's kid. I would as Krim suggests see what else there is around and not get too attached to this woman. Meet if you must but keep sentiment to one side and don't get emotionally invested in her in my opinion, keep a level headband think with a practical mind.
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How would I know or how can this woman proof to me that the husband consents? What if they cannot find the husband?
She doesn't prove it to you. If you meet her and everything goes well, then you
start trusting her. She has to prove it at the airport, they won't let her on a plane
with a minor child without a notarized letter from her father.
What happens if the father is dead, disappeared or in hiding? Then she has
to go to court. It takes time, money and energy. There is nothing for you to do
at this time.
Get on a plane romance the girl, win her heart, and plan a second trip to see
her and then start guiding the relationship along to the next step. Don't start
setting up accounts for your Grandchildren's college education just yet.
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forget about her ex-husband....
he'll owe SO much back pay for child support that he'll wanna keep hiding
or she takes him to court and they take it from him...
so VERY unlikely he'll ever be in touch with her or the kid
that's how it works there
he ain't interested in her or the kid...
he can't EXTORT from you without taking his own hit over years of back child support
you gotta hire an "advocat" who knows how to "walk your child travel documents" through the beaurocracy
and along the way, you/she have to hand out "presents" to the various officials
otherwise your docs stay in the bottom of the pile for a LONG time
been there, done it 100 times at least
for example, I had to donate the cash equivalent of 200 liters of gas to the local fire department, in exchange for signing off on each of my real estate deals
that they were properly inspected...
THIS IS the world you're stepping into
it has its own rules, its own logic
that you know NOTHING about...
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What if they cannot find the husband?
You hire the Pinkerton agency.
Or Rockford; or Magnum; or Cagney and Lacey, etc., etc.
Maybe Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot .
Best of all; find some ex SEALS.
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Was talking with my Ukrainian wife about this at breakfast out this morning.
She has galfriends in Ukraine who had experience with missing ex-husbands.
She told that in Ukraine, when ex pays child support, it is entered into some official record each month.
So if ex hasn't been paying, then mother only needs to go to court to show this non-payment; and then asks to get order giving 100% custodial rights to her.
With this paper, she can then take children out of country without signature of ex.
- - - - - - -
Now a second situation would be if ex has been keeping up to date with child support and it has been recorded.
Then, his signature would be required. That's when the issue of bribes to him would possibly occur.
But wife also knows of cases where the ex is happy to let the child leave for a better future in another country; and so signs without bribes.
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There are 7,197 steps to this process that must happen for you to live happily ever after with a FSUW and you are currently on step #8, but worrying about step #1102.
I wouldn't worry too much before you travel to the FSU and everything goes swimmingly during your visit (step #27).
Big Bill, you have written previous posts that my comments would better follow after; but since I am too lazy to find them, I will answer here.
I disagree with the idea of just going to FSU to meet the desired gal (or gals) without first worrying (considering) details about children, ex spouses, etc.
There is a great deal of vacation time, effort and money involved in 'just going.'
I wouldn't advise 'just going' and worrying about details and consequences later . . .
when a little investigation (in terms of gentle questions to the gal), could reveal . . .
** she has no intention of ever leaving her country;
** her ex (who is up to date with support payments) will never agree to
let children leave;
**she is terminally ill with ???
**her father, who doesn't want her to leave, is honcho of a Mafia group.
**or perhaps she is even related to Putler.
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I agree with you ML, it's better for a guy to have a bit of an idea as to the culture he'll find and a bit of knowledge of the society before going. Otherwise the guy is going to be totally in her hands and that's not going to look good. As we know the guy is expected to lead out there and so her having to walk him through it all probably isn't going to look great for him. Overall going over there and existing in a fog of not understanding anything isn't likely to help whatever the situation.
I already have great reservations over whether RWO might have already muffed it up too much with his prattling on about being friends to her then his emotional moment. Possibly it may be recoverable but is that because she is only leading him on?
I kind of fear RWO is already trapped in her spell and it might end up RWO facing a ruinous financial situation in the future with her running of with green card and child to enjoy a life in the US leaving him having shelled out a fortune and a severe case of embarrassment. :trainwreck:
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I’ve only done K-1 visas for single individuals with no children
they each had to have in addition to medical exam with x-ray and blood test
background report from local police dept
legal document saying they can legally be married
(does this woman have an OFFICIAL divorce decree?)
if a kid is part of the equation, then you will also need this custodial rights document WHEN you submit your K-1 visa
if you are doing this on your own and not through an immigration attorney
you will have to have a professional translator and Notary make an English copy
instead of them doin EVERYTHING for you
and just kick back and take all the credit, like I do!!
you get an FSU person an American Visa and then Green Card and then Citizenship...
they FOREVER in your debt...
sheeeeettt man...
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Dear fellas, may I express my humble opinion?
In fact, if I had had enough communication with the lady.
And that's the great, great advantage to communicating with an FSU woman, you can go very directly and ask
very upfront questions, while western women will run away in two seconds.
The second advantage I see is simply:
1/ you show that you are serious
2/ not afraid to be engaged
3/ you potentially take care of her children
4/ you show some corones by potentially taking control of the immigration process
All of this is ++++
Of course, she knows and you know that all of this is just a game and you need to meet first, like dogs, to sniff each other and more before stepping into such a process... Everybody know.
Therefore, I would say something:
Irina, may I ask you an important question?
DA
"I would to know, if in the future you relocate to the USA, if the father of your boy (girl) will be ok to let his child leave?What do you think about this?"
I would WRITE it to have a written answer because most of the time part of the communication is lost and it's damned important that
you retrieve the best possible answer and not lost a piece of it.
I am, today, personally, not afraid to dig and dig into serious topics like children for example until I have a clear idea of what goes on.To give you an example last time on Tinder a woman wanted a man with serious family values and so on. She was 45 I think and she wanted me to play this stupid game. Why a stupid game, let me explain.
I asked her how many children she has, no answer, I asked if she wanted some children, no real answer. And finally, she faded away...She was in hurry to have a child and she wanted one but she was too old to advertise it explicitly but at the same time, she wanted to have some "guarantees" about ?????? about her secret project, but you don't really know it from the scratch (that's the surprise!) :deadhorse:
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Depending on the answer, if I had the feeling that there are already big problems because of the child, I can guarantee you that I
will drop her and find another one. 100%
One time I was on travel with a lady in Italy, we knew each other for already 10 days, and I got very important information about her child thatsimply showed me that we had no future.
That happened in the evening. The next morning I left her and caught a train for Roma to return to Ukraine ASAP.
I had to wait 24 hours to find a flight but finally succeed to return to Ukraine (I was in Ukraine 7 days before, this is where I met the first lady).
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I got very important information about her child thatsimply showed me that we had no future.
le garçon retardé?
a lot of these kids will have MAJOR behavioral problems, yet still have to make major behavioral adjustments
just think what changing schools mean!!!
my children went both to Russian and USA schools and had two separate transitions
but I was able to spend a LOT of time with them
particularly with daily reading exercises
which made them highly successful in school
but RWO won't have time for that
or any other type of fathering eaither
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I got very important information about her child thatsimply showed me that we had no future.
le garçon retardé?
a lot of these kids will have MAJOR behavioral problems, yet still have to make major behavioral adjustments
just think what changing schools mean!!!
my children went both to Russian and USA schools and had two separate transitions
but I was able to spend a LOT of time with them
particularly with daily reading exercises
which made them highly successful in school
but RWO won't have time for that
or any other type of fathering eaither
You raise an interesting point garçon effronté which is:
Do FSU women monitor their children at school by:
- helping with lessons
- following marks
- uprising his cultural and intellectual perspective (going to the museum with his children, to the Sciences complex)
i tak dale.
Because my ex-wife didn't: NOL, zero despite having plenty of time.
Dear members, what have you witnessed?
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Dear members, what have you witnessed?
My take on that…
I didn’t see a lot of “upwards social mobility” in the FSU…
so, no need of “Tiger Moms” or Dads…
the elites who have money and power
will use their money and power to help their kids “overcome obstacles” on the road to success
poor people there will basically DO NOTHING with their children!!
and just tell their kids to have a good life, but only AFTER they finish planting their parent’s potatoes in the back garden FIRST, and they BETTER do a DAMN good job, OR ELSE!!!!
wealthy Russian men that I know spend far more time with their mistresses than with their children
as a result, all the women there have “DADDY Issues” which facilitates anyone with paternal instincts and who can STOP thinkin about their precious l’il Willy for just ONE SECOND…
and be nurturing and non-sexual at FIRST...
and THEN phuque them later
some of that "delayed gratification" and self-control here
THIS is so FREAKIN EASY!!!
even a NOOB could do it!
and to me, this is the VERY BEST kind of Pooty-Tang hunting that there is, and I tried 'em ALL!
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and be nurturing and non-sexual at FIRST...
Krim, How so? What sort of nurturing would they be after?
-
how?
by having a MUTUAL genuine affection or liking for EACH OTHER
achieved by spending a lot of time together, doing stuff of mutual interest, or just "hangin out" at cafe or club...
and having a simple natural interaction with her
that leads to doing physical "outdoorsy" kinda things
and in an escalting fashion, you each show more and more skin
place her needs first, sublimate YOUR OWN
be totally non-critical
only positive and smiling
look at the subtle FEEDBACK she gives you, pay attention
do this, while living vicarously, and seeing EVERYTHING through HER eyes
as you dazzle HER with "shiny thing" after shiny thing
well...
that's one way,
but NOT a likely one for you Trench
read about "rohipnol"
and give some to yourself
and hope that while you're passed out at the bar
a BEAUTIFUL woman comes by
and makes passionate LOVE to YOU!!!
bon chance!!
-
well...
that's one way,
but NOT a likely one for you Trench
Yeah I kind of figured I may struggle on that one. Thinking I am maybe suited more to the delinquent type of girl, type of girl who needs a firm hand ;D
-
How dangerous is it for people of Moldova? Will Russia invade Moldova after they take over Odessa?
-
In the short term the dangers are economic and social
as refugees overwhelm the locals
and high fuel prices lead to scarcity and higher inflation and lower thermostats
when you visit, things may further deteriorate, and there might be MAJOR food shortages
and no restaurants, etc open
so how are you going to “entertain” her?
Also COVID…
if SHTF, I would worry about what happens if locals start pickin on Asians or foreigners…
YOU will be EZ target to spot, and you’ll be carryin some dollars...
if you become a target, she will to...
you really think, stuff like this doesn't HAPPEN OVER THERE, why NOT?
it HAPPENS HERE!!!
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How dangerous is it for people of Moldova? Will Russia invade Moldova after they take over Odessa?
Unlikely Russia will invade Moldova while they're struggling in Ukraine. They could have used some of the 3 battalions in Moldova's break away region to move into Ukraine but they didn't and now it's probably not much point them doing so with Ukraine's Army mobilised. Odds are they were keeping them back to launch an excuse to attack Moldova if they got a swift victory in Ukraine/when or if they get a victory in Ukraine.
So I think you're safe at the moment from that. At the moment you can probably travel to the city centre of the Capital of Moldova and be safe enough. Most likely issue would be anyone wishing to swindle a foreigner with high Taxi or Restaurant bills, carry on and the like so be on your guard for that. If you travel there now it's probably better than travelling later as yeah the situation could go downhill. All across Europe an economic downturn is looming most likely this Autumn/Winter. The worst will be in the poorer countries in Europe and Moldova being outside the EU and with problems from Ukraine War, refugees & economic trade hit will likely suffer very badly. So stuff starts to get a lot more uncertain out there then potentially. So while the good weather is here and things likely still aren't too bad I would get out there now if I was you and put this one to bed over whether there is anything there with this woman.
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Got some red flags, this girl is asking indirectly for some "support". I didn't commit to anything just asked her for her and her son's birthdays so I can get them some gifts. Maybe she's showing her tail a little bit.
-
Got some red flags, this girl is asking indirectly for some "support".
What exactly did she say in relation to indirectly asking for some support?
-
something to sort of rose, coffee, or food.
-
something to sort of rose, coffee, or food.
RWO you know it's expected to get the girl Roses when you go to meet out in the FSU? - that includes Moldova.
Also the guy is expected to pay for any basic entertainment including eats out at Restaurants, Cafes, local basic attractions, etc. When you are with her/meet her.
If it's she's hinting at that stuff for her birthday or interest of some sort of those items then they're not high value items so I wouldn't freak out just yet.
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"Got some red flags, this girl is asking indirectly for some "support"."
she's tellin ya that THIS is a "quid pro quo arrangement"
and if you don't give her any QUID
then you ain't gonna get NO QUO!!!
there...
translated it fer ya
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Got some red flags, this girl is asking indirectly for some "support". I didn't commit to anything just asked her for her and her son's birthdays so I can get them some gifts. Maybe she's showing her tail a little bit.
RWO,
1. Stop it, this is supposed to be fun and exciting. You are being paranoid
and less decisive than a teenage girl trying to pick out which dress to wear.
Put on your lucky big boy underwear and stop questioning everything.
2. Don't read whatever Trenchcoat has to say about this. He knows less
than you do about this.
3. Plan a trip. Start a new thread about planning your trip and ask for
advice on best practices.
4. Buy tickets, tell your girl to stretch out, limber up, drink lots of juice and
get lots of rest (because she will need her strength) and to lay out all of her
sexy panties on the kitchen table so you can decide which pair she should
wear to pick you up at the airport.
5. Tell her to wear a dress because you will be checking the panties.
6. Find an apartment or Airbnb in her city and rent it, near the city center.
7. FSUW want a man, not an indecisive, apprehensive, scared of their own shadow, overly suspicious mess.
8. Seduce the girl, win her heart and plan your second trip to see her.
-
I don’t understand. You asked her what you can buy for a birthday, she responds with suggestions of roses, coffee, or food, and that’s a red flag???
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I don’t understand. You asked her what you can buy for a birthday, she responds with suggestions of roses, coffee, or food, and that’s a red flag???
Food?? Come on that's a straight away give away. It means she will be
a big fatty when she gets older. :cluebat:
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I asked for both her son and her birthday so I can get them birthday gifts. She didn't refuse but she never gave the dates to me (yet). I initiated that conversation. What she said was she doesn't want empty words. This is because I was trying to flirt with her. She said she wanted someone to care and support her. She said roses, or coffee, or food (I think she meant like lunch or something). She did not ask for cash money. Now that I think about it, I did speak to her on the phone a few days ago and I asked her to give me more time than just two months (Please refer to my early posts about this 2 month thing) and that I can come to Moldova in January. She sounded hesitant but she said yes. So, technically I am asking her for a 6 month time investment. Maybe I should get her something like flowers and what not. How should I go about this? Of course, I am not going to send her money directly but do I just look up florist in Chisinau? She hasn't even given me birth dates, you guys think she will just give me her address?
-
See, I told ya yur wallet was gonna “open up”...
you need to figure out WHAT HER NEEDS ARE financially…
and then SEE IF YOU CAN PROVIDE THAT AMOUNT (Trench you can listen to!)
if NOT, then yur gonna have a BIG problem WITH HER!!
if YES, then maybe not so big, so you learn to live with them
but THIS IS HOW THE QUID PRO QUO WORKS!!!
get it NOW?
this is her opening "negotiation" gambit...
you best be learnin how to play this kinda chess
cuz, looks like SHE AHEAD OF YOU man!!
all this desperation over not gettin any "Pooty-Tang? WTF?
let that be a lesson to EVERYONE
I TOTALLY SEE why my daughters married early...
they get all "this pursuit of LOVE thang" outa the way ASAP
so they can FOCUS on more important things
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Doesn’t anyone who wants a family life want someone who cares for and supports them?
In your shoes, I would send her money. Not a lot, $40 or so, and I would say go have a nice dinner with your parents on me. Of course she likely won’t do that, but it gives her flexibility.
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I asked for both her son and her birthday so I can get them birthday gifts. She didn't refuse but she never gave the dates to me (yet). I initiated that conversation. What she said was she doesn't want empty words. This is because I was trying to flirt with her. She said she wanted someone to care and support her. She said roses, or coffee, or food (I think she meant like lunch or something). She did not ask for cash money. Now that I think about it, I did speak to her on the phone a few days ago and I asked her to give me more time than just two months (Please refer to my early posts about this 2 month thing) and that I can come to Moldova in January. She sounded hesitant but she said yes. So, technically I am asking her for a 6 month time investment. Maybe I should get her something like flowers and what not. How should I go about this? Of course, I am not going to send her money directly but do I just look up florist in Chisinau? She hasn't even given me birth dates, you guys think she will just give me her address?
You have opened the Pandorra box.
In such countries you don't TALK about how taking care about a woman, you DO it, see the difference?
No, probably not, but the difference is very big.
You will multiply tenfold your benefits by NOT talking about anything you want to do (buying gifts or giving money) and doing it in Moldova.
That's very difficult for a westener because of the cultural setup we have. We are used to talk a lot, that's a disease and this what most of FSU women are suffering;..
Men talking the will come .... they don't Men talking they are a director ... they have lied
Men talking they want to marry her ... they are still not divorced
And the list goes on and on...
As a result, the women who have dated internationally after a while are discouraged and restart dating locally also or exclusively. One woman told me that a friend of hers was so upset that she turned to make a lot of scams.
The fact that you want to delay your travel is already the typical westerner shit that they are used to listen.
See the difference: you are already lying about what you say and what you do, generally a hammer who makes you a dead man after a while with an FSU woman. Very bad.
If I were her I would pack a list of 10 westerners asap to multiply my chances, 100% Most of women do it anyways. If you land January there many chances that you will be not the first. Your choice.
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RWO, you're waiting till January next year to see her??? :o
That's generally a bad idea, most FSW won't wait that long as 2tallbill has said they want a man of action. That's why she said what she said, she doesn't want a Keyboard Romeo spouting out lines of love and affection in a virtual relationship. FSW don't generally do virtual relationship they want a real relationship where the man rocks up. A couple of video chats and messaging for about a month is all you really need to determine if this girl is worth visiting, that's all I used to do. There's little point waffling on more than that as you're not going to learn anymore that's useful. I would set plans now to visit Moldova as soon as possible normally about a month away I used to do to give time for planning the trip. Go now while the weather is warm and sunny and good to eat out in, if you go in January if this ever survives that far it will be cold and so unpleasant to walk around in. Surprise her and tell her you are coming now.
I think the whole hinting at gifts is her trying to test you to see if you are at all serious about her. She doesn't want to prattle on for months with you and then you go off elsewhere. You're asking her for a significant time investment and she doesn't want to be used to keep a single guy company and then be ditched. As an attractive woman she will have other options along the way and if any of them turn out to be serious (as in visit her) she won't want to risk passing over on such guys with you. So far you have offered her nothing while she is hoping for someone who will provide for her and be more than just words, just talk. Be under no illusion RWO taking on the responsibility of you providing for a child of a FSW is a heavy financial burden. In Moldova she will get little help from the State as women do in the West. The Government of Moldova is poor and has little money to give out. If the Father has done a runner and not providing for the child then she needs a solution fast. Yes odds are she is talking to other guys but will be pressing for them all to rock up and not just talk, talk, talk.
That's the crux of the matter here RWO, it's not just a one way street of what you get. She needs to know that you will provide for her child and of course herself. You're getting yourself on the hook early on with a woman with a child that's why I bailed on that idea early on in my search. If you fully get onboard with this woman your money is going to be flowing out like water, fast. She will want this, that and the other (clothes, etc) but the child will be having needs all the time and the spend out will be continuous on a daily basis, food, clothes, medicine, toys, school fees, stuff for school, etc, etc, etc. That's aside from the big cost of getting them over to the US. What she is asking for is not unreasonable but you've got to realise that your value to her is as a potential provider her value to you is as an attractive model looking woman as Krim has said Quid Pro Quo.
So I would rock over there now if I were you, plan a date to travel in about a month's time, a few days, a week, whatever just to see if there is anything there with her. She'll respect you more for coming and you'll look a hell of a lot more serious. If you are serious about this lady I would go now or like 2tallbill says someone could get in their first. I could if I wanted to, I don't as I have said I don't want to take on a woman with a child, I can get that often raw deal in this country that I don't need to go abroad for it nor want it lol. But yeah if I so wanted I could chat her up Fdate, take a flight over in a few weeks and thrill the knickers off her :D Meanwhile you would still be chomping away on your keyboard wondering why she is no longer responding to your messages and thinking her a scammer, think about it!
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I will not send money. this is a fundamental rule, never send money even in wartime (Moldova is not a warzone).
You should understand the rules.
Until you have a relationship with her, in the FSU area, you are perfectly allowed, entitled to do NOTHING for her.
This is absolutely and perfectly respectable and this is totally understood by FSU women.
If you send some money, even 50 bucks, and don't fuck her, you will come here to tell us about her to be a scammer.
If you send this money and don't fuck her you will have this bitter taste in your mouth forever that you have been played a fool and even if in the end it was just circumstances that didn't make the story you will have this doubt in your minds that she used you.
maybe in four months and this doubt will mine you and last forever, it will persist for your international dating in the future.
This is what western men don't understand with money, unnecessary generosity bites back in the future. They play money for many reasons
and later are wounded in their self-esteem. You should think about it before playing the benefactor.
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What you should do:
stop to brag about what you gonna do, buy an airfare ticket and send her a copy, it will bond tremendously the relationship because she can focus on you emotionally (hoping that there are not 5 other men scheduled for the summer).
Bring one or two INEXPENSIVE gifts from your country, and buy her some perfume (not the biggest flask, don't overdue). And when you left her (if you are really in a relationship with her, hope that you understand what's a real relationship with a woman and ONLY in this case) before your departure drops something like $200 or $300. She will be very grateful.
Don't put a monthly allowance by transfer. That's an intensifier for scams and pushes the woman to fake if she meets another man.
I personally met a man who have been scammed of $50000 because he set up a monthly allowance, until the last moment he was believing to marry her (she married a local instead at this same moment), he was highly depressed and his life was momentarily ruined. The fake relationship lasted for 15 months at least and she even opened her legs one time.
Because of him, she, her family, and her boyfriend (husband) became quite rich and for this amount, could even buy a flat in a little city.
It was a worthy operation for them (everyone knew about it, her boyfriend, her family, and so on....)
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From Bill:
4. Buy tickets, tell your girl to stretch out, limber up, drink lots of juice and
get lots of rest (because she will need her strength) and to lay out all of her
sexy panties on the kitchen table so you can decide which pair she should
wear to pick you up at the airport.
5. Tell her to wear a dress because you will be checking the panties.
6. Find an apartment or Airbnb in her city and rent it, near the city center.
7. FSUW want a man, not an indecisive, apprehensive, scared of their own shadow, overly suspicious mess.
8. Seduce the girl, win her heart and plan your second trip to see her.
NB: when I am actively chasing in FSU I usually spend 6 weeks a year there, may you travel enough? Because if not maybe better to chase some local
chicks or go to Mexico.
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RWO, Pat's giving you some real gems here, he has countless years of experience dating in the FSU and relationships so he knows the terrain very well indeed. He's talked to many people and asked around a lot and no doubt seen many things. Definitely take note and heed his advice I would say.
At this point I don't think there are any signs to show this woman has bad intent. If you're still interested in getting with a woman with a child go meet her as soon as, this Summer really is best. If you change your mind on getting with a woman with a child then tell her it doesn't work for you and move on. There's loads of FSW out there, Fdate is just one website DMnotify is another good website but a paid for monthly one, etc. If you're really serious still about this woman though I think you should really get out there with a sense of urgency as otherwise for a pretty girl some guy could really beat you to it and she'll drop you like hot coal in an instant if that happens and cut all communication with you, she won't be interested no more. Remember for you it's a long flight from the US but for a guy in many Western Europe countries it's a short flight of up to around 3 hours so a West European guy could go meet her in a weekend! Your relationship chances blown out the water as quick as that!!
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My situation is that I am starting a new job. It's a federal contracting job and I was suppose to start either the last week in July or first week in August. With this new job, I have to save up vacation time and that's why I was thinking of visiting in January.
I do not want to get scammed or get locked in of sending money because what if I visit and then we don't have any chemistry? And yes, the child would be a great burden but I am ok with it as long as we have a strong bond. I really will accept the child as my own if everything works out.
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3. Mindset. Go back and absorb Pat's posts. I don't think you're mentally ready and need to "get your house in order".
I am as blunt as a shovel.
You appear to be a desperate man clinging to a fantasy. Giving money to someone you have never met? No serious plans to travel? Generally clueless about communicating with this woman?
You are setting yourself up for a world of pain. Pat has given you sound advice but I don't think you're (currently) equipped for international dating. It's not for everyone.
You can't travel for six months, but then only for a week or so - and then having to wait at least another six months to travel? How many women have you dated in the last 12 months? You're like an obese man trying to make the Olympic trials. Fat chance... you need a reality check.
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My situation is that I am starting a new job. It's a federal contracting job and I was suppose to start either the last week in July or first week in August. With this new job, I have to save up vacation time and that's why I was thinking of visiting in January.
I do not want to get scammed or get locked in of sending money because what if I visit and then we don't have any chemistry? And yes, the child would be a great burden but I am ok with it as long as we have a strong bond. I really will accept the child as my own if everything works out.
Is there any way you could get out there this week?
I think it's starting to sound like the mistake has been made in terms of not going out there sooner if possible or no staying off FSU dating until in a position to take time off. It might still go the distance, some do but I wouldn't worry about the scammer side of things unless she asks you for money. It's normal to send a few gifts to a woman for birthday and International Woman's Day (next year) you don't have to but it she would likely feel better about you though it's no assurance that she wouldn't go off with someone else as until a marriage proposal is made its not a done deal.
It's why myself I don't go messaging women until I know for sure that I can visit in a month or two's time. Until then any messaging is just taking up air time needlessly. Sure some try and build a rapport with a woman over that time but this woman is giving out the signals that she wants a provider on hand and fast.
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Trenchcoat: I wish I can go out there right now soon but my job situation I just can't. However, I do have a few questions:
1. Of course, before I go out there, I should already have her address?
2. What about bring cash? I was thinking bring $1500 to $2000 USD for a 10 day maybe 2 full week trip.
3. What about connecting flights? Let's say I stop in France or Germany or Turkey, will I be able to board connecting flights without Visa?
4. Our conversation on Viber would be good documentation when/if applying for K1 visa?
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My situation is that I am starting a new job. It's a federal contracting job and I was suppose to start either the last week in July or first week in August. With this new job, I have to save up vacation time and that's why I was thinking of visiting in January.
I do not want to get scammed or get locked in of sending money because what if I visit and then we don't have any chemistry? And yes, the child would be a great burden but I am ok with it as long as we have a strong bond. I really will accept the child as my own if everything works out.
Considering what RWD and Trench wrote, I suppose that most people here on this forum will now ask themselves two questions:
1/ If you still have two or three weeks left why are not kicking your ass to fly to Moldova?
2/ Why are you writing to FSU women if you don't have a serious proposition to visit them?
Do you know that this concept of long correspondence is anchored in the 18/19th century when people needed weeks sometimes months before visiting someone else on the globe? So they could write each other for months, sometimes for one, two or three years.
This time is over now.
I will give you an example of what happens on the field, the field is by definition where the real-life happens when men and women collide in their emotions and their sexuality.
My last GF from Kiev was a very beautiful lady, and she published a profile on Tinder.
In the next 10 days, she started a correspondence with a guy from Central Europe. And got a contact from me telling I will be in her city in two weeks (less than this maybe 12 days). And probably tons, TONS of other contacts I don't know.
While she was still corresponding with the other guy, I came. It matched, but she has already accepted the other guy to invite her to his entirely own dime in his country (all paid, airfare, hotel, and so on...) i tak dale. All of this happened in probably less than 3 weeks and so she got two challengers with two serious propositions.
How do I know? She told me.
She went to visit him but it didn't match even if I highly suspect that she also tested him sexually. It happened probably 3 weeks maximum after her profile had been published on Badoo.
The next trip was with me to another country, she paid her airfare and we fucked hard this time and started a real relationship. This trip (her second) was discussed and scheduled the fourth or maybe the beginning of the fifth week after she had published her profile.
Do you consider, in this example, that there is enough room for a guy who is just writing, postpones possible travel, and decides that "he could come in January".
On a scale of 10 tell me where are the chances of this guy?
Tell me your number, I will give you mine and the chances of success of a Visit One (because it's likely you don't know, and I own it from an American who was a professional matchmaker and spent a lot of time in FSU also).
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Trenchcoat: I wish I can go out there right now soon but my job situation I just can't. However, I do have a few questions:
1. Of course, before I go out there, I should already have her address?
2. What about bring cash? I was thinking bring $1500 to $2000 USD for a 10 day maybe 2 full week trip.
3. What about connecting flights? Let's say I stop in France or Germany or Turkey, will I be able to board connecting flights without Visa?
4. Our conversation on Viber would be good documentation when/if applying for K1 visa?
3/ of course save everything or activate the automatic backup on Viber.
2/ cash, absolutely necessary. For your safety, keep credit cards for emergencies. I would plan at least $2000/$2500 for two weeks.
1/ No, no, you need the address of your flat.
4/ We still don't know where she is living. I already asked you to question her, more important than the birthday of her children. Because if she lives in Transnistria, it's unlikely you gonna cross the border.
Do you know in which city she is living, I, unfortunately, suspect you still don't know, which is of the HIGHEST PRIORITY, HIGHEST PRIORITY, because it will change everything and maybe forbids you to visit her in her city.
To your discharge, some girls are lying about their location to push you to commit emotionally while they are not "visitable" (Lugansk, Donetsk, and even Crimea Oblast before the war especially).
May you put a name on a map or not?
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I will tell you another example of a woman I do know.
I met her in 2009.
To make it short it didn't happen but we kept in touch.
In 2014 I married and send to her some photos. She was an 8.7, 35, still single losing her time in stupid relationships.
As she got the photos she answered and wrote somewhere in her letter "I am jealous". When a woman wrote you this, she feels it.
15 months after I recontacted her. In 15 months she had left her country, got married, and had had a baby.
I suppose that my marriage acted like a trigger in her and she decided to definitively change everything in her life.
I am very happy for her, a child was what she needed to blossom. And probably a good man (hope so of course).
When people are ready to commit and if she is a pretty woman, it's likely the gem will not stay too long in the market.
You are in the market or you are out of the international dating market (I do not speak about the local dating market).
Keyboard Romeos are the last merchandise on the market. They come like unsold stocks.
Hope that you are really capable to digest this concept in the future.
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Listen RWO…
you made a “rookie” mistake
if you and a friend were duck hunting
and you had your decoys all set in the water
when suddenly…
½ mile away, you see some ducks flyin towards ya, and then YOU START SHOOTING!!!
your friend would look at you and shake his head…
“YOU SHOT TOO EARLY”
that’s what you did here…
you shoulda waited until you were closer to your best available date for traveling before trolling dating sites
so as to not wait so long to make contact
see, women lookin for a sponsor don’t wanna wait around
cuz time is NOT on their side
I mean, what if because of waiting for you, she loses out on another potential sponsor...
if she gets a bird in the hand first
then you’re gonna be the bird that stays in the bush
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Trenchcoat: I wish I can go out there right now soon but my job situation I just can't. However, I do have a few questions:
1. Of course, before I go out there, I should already have her address?
2. What about bring cash? I was thinking bring $1500 to $2000 USD for a 10 day maybe 2 full week trip.
3. What about connecting flights? Let's say I stop in France or Germany or Turkey, will I be able to board connecting flights without Visa?
4. Our conversation on Viber would be good documentation when/if applying for K1 visa?
I would never take that much cash, not unless you are wealthy that it wouldn't mean anything to lose it. Instead I focus on credit cards, I have one where there is zero transaction fee, I use that one to buy stuff and to get out extra money when needed, I then pay it off as soon as I get back. Any slight extra cost over exchanging your dollars for the local currency is better than risking all your money going missing. Credit cards aren't as lucrative a target as it's all PIN protection and they can be cancelled quickly, remember to take details to cancel quickly - an increasing amount of Credit card providers are allowing customers to cancel their credit cards online now and through their apps, very, very handy. I would of course take a small amount of money as Moldova will be similar to Ukraine in being a cash economy (not everywhere you go of course) but it's always handy to have a few notes on you, I wouldn't go more than $500 worth for the time you are planning to be there for. Like I say with cards it allows you the option of getting more out later anyway. You'll likely get a slightly better transfer rate at the exchange booths in town or at the airport than through machines but they're likely won't be much in it.
Main thing is that you don't want to just take cash, get it nicked and then be left high and dry for the week without any means of getting further money. With this in mine I usually separate out cash & credit cards and take at least two credit cards each in a different place, say one on myself and one in luggage. So if one gets nicked then hopefully I will still have the other that hasn't been nicked to fall back on. That might sounded overkill/paranoid but when things start going downhill abroad anywhere they can go downhill fast. Remember you haven't got your home around the corner to pop home to, to get sorted out if a problem arises. Also take a copy of your passport in case you need Embassy assistance. I also take at least two paper copies of flight & hotel bookings incase problem with my mobile (flat battery, gets nicked, etc) Remember you have to get flight back too so you'll need flight details for that.
In most cases none of the above precautions will come into play most times things work out fine but it's always best to do those precautions to avoid your trip ending up in a bad place and an early end to it.
Her address I never bother with unless of course she had invited me there. Few will before they have actually met you as you may turn out to be a nutter for all she knows and she won't want to be giving her address out to strangers as otherwise you could turn up even if not welcomed to do so for all she knows. If you don't get on when you visit her address won't be needed if you do get on then she'll give it to you then/take you there. Asking for her address now might freak her out, you could say that you want to send her something then she'll let you know where to send it if/when you want to send something.
Flights I'm not sure if the country in question will be able to say on that one, I don't think visa's are normally needed for transfer flights as you stay in the airport terminal building and just travel across. However be careful if your connection flight goes from another terminal building. Turkey from what I recall don't require a visa for connection flight but again check. I went through Istanbul to Cyprus a few years back without needing a visa for Turkey. I'm a UK citizen so again US may vary.
The visa again being a UK citizen someone in the US will be able to advise better for the US. For the UK it is photos of you all together doing stuff, possibly Viber messaging might help so long as nothing concerning comes up, i.e intention to stay longer etc. Her having a child may add to concerns for a tourist visa that she might not return so a Fiancee visa might be easier but again US guys on here will know better on that one.
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I will not send money. this is a fundamental rule, never send money even in wartime (Moldova is not a warzone).
You should understand the rules.
Until you have a relationship with her, in the FSU area, you are perfectly allowed, entitled to do NOTHING for her.
This is absolutely and perfectly respectable and this is totally understood by FSU women.
If you send some money, even 50 bucks, and don't fuck her, you will come here to tell us about her to be a scammer.
If you send this money and don't fuck her you will have this bitter taste in your mouth forever that you have been played a fool and even if in the end it was just circumstances that didn't make the story you will have this doubt in your minds that she used you.
maybe in four months and this doubt will mine you and last forever, it will persist for your international dating in the future.
This is what western men don't understand with money, unnecessary generosity bites back in the future. They play money for many reasons
and later are wounded in their self-esteem. You should think about it before playing the benefactor.
Although I agree that men should not fund a woman they've never met, or even a woman they have, I don't think sending a gift is a death knell. It just shows thoughtfulness and kindness.
Just after I met the other half, he asked if I could buy him a winter coat. In those days, finding a good, short men's coat in Kyiv was nearly impossible. On my return, I purchased a $400 coat (which was a lot of money for me then, as I was a student), and mailed it to him (because there were all sorts of complications with bringing it into the country). Somehow, we managed to overcome that "hurdle" of me spending money on him.
Would I send money regularly to someone I've never met? No. But if I believed we had a "connection", even only online, and I wanted to send a small something, I would not hesitate to send a small gift, even before a physical meeting.
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Although I agree that men should not fund a woman they've never met, or even a woman they have, I don't think sending a gift is a death knell. It just shows thoughtfulness and kindness.
Just after I met the other half, he asked if I could buy him a winter coat. In those days, finding a good, short men's coat in Kyiv was nearly impossible. On my return, I purchased a $400 coat (which was a lot of money for me then, as I was a student), and mailed it to him (because there were all sorts of complications with bringing it into the country). Somehow, we managed to overcome that "hurdle" of me spending money on him.
Would I send money regularly to someone I've never met? No. But if I believed we had a "connection", even only online, and I wanted to send a small something, I would not hesitate to send a small gift, even before a physical meeting.
That was a big sum these days Bo!
Hat up!
We bought a fur coat for my ex-wife, she was absolutely superb at wearing it, and then she realizes very cold days were very rare in France, and moreover that was out fashioned in my country.
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Yes, it was a huge sum to me. He wore that coat for a decade. He even wore it when he came here, but I threw it out.
I think sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith. Of course, one must be careful, and not fund someone. But I think sending a few dollars for a special occasion, with someone you are trying to build a connection with, is not a mistake. I know Ukrainians think it is crazy. But, you shouldn't conform to their FSU cultural norms.
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Yes, it was a huge sum to me. He wore that coat for a decade. He even wore it when he came here, but I threw it out.
I think sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith. Of course, one must be careful, and not fund someone. But I think sending a few dollars for a special occasion, with someone you are trying to build a connection with, is not a mistake. I know Ukrainians think it is crazy. But, you shouldn't conform to their FSU cultural norms.
You wrote it.
The problem is ... you are from FSU 100%.
So you probably have a better feeling than any. You have mixed up two cultures.
Me, basically three.
So you can retrieve the good and bad and make your own recipe.
But most men who come here for the first time
1/ don't have any international upbringing
2/ have no clues about women or little experience.
Because of the western culture and their personal history.
So they don't have a LECTURE of what's going on and why it's going this way.
So contrary to you, they don't have the ability to distinguish when it's gray and not white, sometimes they cannot even make the difference between black and white, so explain to them (especially Americans) that 80% of Russian people (poll) believe that things are grey.This is an advanced concept that should be introduced slowly and with precaution.
And this concept is very disturbing for westerners.
So I prefer to maintain a line of communication for their safety that is binary and very easy to understand and follow.
No previous meeting, no real relationship = never send any money.
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here's the FIRST of MANY coats/jackets/sweaters I have purchased for my wife (with matching leather gloves!)
purchased at the big outdoor market in Kyiv...
a couple of days after I first met her
she went sledding with me down the biggest hill in Kyiv
the second time I met her
and after third date we got naked together in the banya at the Dniro Hotel
and then swam naked in the little pool after...
wife has a "smokin HOT village farm girl" body and is 6'1" tall!!!
how could I say "nyet"
does everything for me but breast feeds me,
because I drink only lowfat dairy...
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I disagree with the idea of just going to FSU to meet the desired gal (or gals)
without first worrying (considering) details about children, ex spouses, etc.
The thing is that you will never know the exact details when you
are just a pen pal. You go over there curls some toes and rock her
world then suddenly all the details become available and important
to discuss.
FSUW almost always assume that their ex who abandoned the family
and never paid support doesn't give a sh!t but in the end they do. You
can't sort that crap out from afar. You need a local lawyer to help.
If things don't work out on the trip then you worried for nothing.
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I think for RWO if he can ask her why her marriage broke up? and she was willing to tell him that could be quite revealing. If the answer is that it was over money woes as in he couldn't support the family (her & child) and he ended up leaving or she flung him out then that could be useful for RWO to know. It will tell him where he must not fail in a relationship with her. If her last man turned out not to be a good provider but RWO can be a good provider then he may have his niche in which to hold the relationship together with her.
If it was because one or both cheated on the other then of course that may be a harder situation for RWO to hold on in there.
All about what makes her tick and whether RWO can fulfill that brief I reckon.
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RWO,
A really COOL thing for you to learn about and embrace…
Meest
http://us.meest.com/services/service/delivery-to-moldova
They ship to Moldova!!!
I have shipped TONS to Ukraine and Russia with Meest, 100% dependable!!!
shop at whole foods, buy gourmet non-perishable food items, crab meat, premium tuna
add nice matching cashmere sweaters for her and child...
and beeswax candles, gourmet collection samplers of tea and coffee from a coffee shop
AND believe it not,
a couple of cans of Hormel HAM!!
the kind you open/unwind with a "key"
pack it and ship it with Meest
total price + Meest shipping maybe $500-$800
your immediate problem solved...
Next One??
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Very good information thanks to all the gentlemen. With my new job, (Offer was already made) I do not know when my first day of work is. They told me maybe end of July, maybe mid-August during the interview process. I emailed them today asking if there is a firm start date. I know that if I go to Moldova it will be a $3000-$4000 usd trip depending on when I go. If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her). It's not about the money, it's just the timing with my job and once my job starts, I will not be able to go until I build up some vacation time. I can't send her money just because I will not know if she is a scammer or is she a real woman looking for relationship. I want to buy/send her a birthday gift but then again, sometimes cash money is the best because she may need clothes, or she may need food, or she wants to save some money just in case if Russians invades and she needs to leave Moldova. I rather give her the flexibility because you never know. I am someone that if someone wants to get me something, I rather just get cash so I can do whatever I want with it.
From what I can tell in the last 3 weeks since I met her and texting and video chatting, I think she is a real woman looking for relationship. Of course, I do believe I am not the only man she is talking to. But, I do want to send her some money (She has not ask for money) just in case of the last reason I posted above: What if she needs to leave Moldova if the war spill over into Moldova. I am thinking $500-$1000 usd. Yes, there will be lots of posts from you guys saying "NO". Let's say she is scammer, but if that money can save her and her family or at least get them to somewhere safe, I will just chalk it up to being a good christian. But if she is real, then this gesture will speak volumes to her about me. I mean, honestly, if it weren't for my job, I was going to spend at least $3000 to $4000 visiting. By sending her $1000, I am showing her I'm serious. Furthermore, she will be very happy and if she is real, when I do visit her in January, I know I can win her heart and soul. Yes, $1000 and that's it. No more until I visit AND we have great chemistry AND we are committed to each other, etc. However, if she receives the $1000 and wants more money before I visit then of course I will say no.
I just see it as spend $4000 right now or just $1000. If she is scammer and ask for more money then yes, I will not pursue her anymore. If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious. If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.
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Don’t send her that much money. It’s a mistake.
Russia isn’t likely to invade Moldova in the near future.
As I posted, if you want to send her a gift, send a very small amount, $40-50.
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Very good information thanks to all the gentlemen. With my new job, (Offer was already made) I do not know when my first day of work is. They told me maybe end of July, maybe mid-August during the interview process. I emailed them today asking if there is a firm start date. I know that if I go to Moldova it will be a $3000-$4000 usd trip depending on when I go. If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her). It's not about the money, it's just the timing with my job and once my job starts, I will not be able to go until I build up some vacation time. I can't send her money just because I will not know if she is a scammer or is she a real woman looking for relationship. I want to buy/send her a birthday gift but then again, sometimes cash money is the best because she may need clothes, or she may need food, or she wants to save some money just in case if Russians invades and she needs to leave Moldova. I rather give her the flexibility because you never know. I am someone that if someone wants to get me something, I rather just get cash so I can do whatever I want with it.
From what I can tell in the last 3 weeks since I met her and texting and video chatting, I think she is a real woman looking for relationship. Of course, I do believe I am not the only man she is talking to. But, I do want to send her some money (She has not ask for money) just in case of the last reason I posted above: What if she needs to leave Moldova if the war spill over into Moldova. I am thinking $500-$1000 usd. Yes, there will be lots of posts from you guys saying "NO". Let's say she is scammer, but if that money can save her and her family or at least get them to somewhere safe, I will just chalk it up to being a good christian. But if she is real, then this gesture will speak volumes to her about me. I mean, honestly, if it weren't for my job, I was going to spend at least $3000 to $4000 visiting. By sending her $1000, I am showing her I'm serious. Furthermore, she will be very happy and if she is real, when I do visit her in January, I know I can win her heart and soul. Yes, $1000 and that's it. No more until I visit AND we have great chemistry AND we are committed to each other, etc. However, if she receives the $1000 and wants more money before I visit then of course I will say no.
I just see it as spend $4000 right now or just $1000. If she is scammer and ask for more money then yes, I will not pursue her anymore. If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious. If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.
http://youtu.be/5hfYJsQAhl0
You are a train wreck in motion. Spend that thousand dollars on coaching or therapy. Honestly, you are a danger to yourself with your current mindset.
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Don’t send her that much money. It’s a mistake.
Russia isn’t likely to invade Moldova in the near future.
As I posted, if you want to send her a gift, send a very small amount, $40-50.
I am with Bo on this one, they NEED to take Odessa before controlling Transnistria.
Good luck to take Odessa, it's one of the biggest cities of Ukraine, there is 2000 km of tunnel belowand they have Harpoon AGM 84 and local Neptune while the Russian forces are limited due to the Montreux Convention in case of amphibian
assault....
So you can keep your money for months...
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Very good information thanks to all the gentlemen. With my new job, (Offer was already made) I do not know when my first day of work is. They told me maybe end of July, maybe mid-August during the interview process. I emailed them today asking if there is a firm start date. I know that if I go to Moldova it will be a $3000-$4000 usd trip depending on when I go. If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her). It's not about the money, it's just the timing with my job and once my job starts, I will not be able to go until I build up some vacation time. I can't send her money just because I will not know if she is a scammer or is she a real woman looking for relationship. I want to buy/send her a birthday gift but then again, sometimes cash money is the best because she may need clothes, or she may need food, or she wants to save some money just in case if Russians invades and she needs to leave Moldova. I rather give her the flexibility because you never know. I am someone that if someone wants to get me something, I rather just get cash so I can do whatever I want with it.
From what I can tell in the last 3 weeks since I met her and texting and video chatting, I think she is a real woman looking for relationship. Of course, I do believe I am not the only man she is talking to. But, I do want to send her some money (She has not ask for money) just in case of the last reason I posted above: What if she needs to leave Moldova if the war spill over into Moldova. I am thinking $500-$1000 usd. Yes, there will be lots of posts from you guys saying "NO". Let's say she is scammer, but if that money can save her and her family or at least get them to somewhere safe, I will just chalk it up to being a good christian. But if she is real, then this gesture will speak volumes to her about me. I mean, honestly, if it weren't for my job, I was going to spend at least $3000 to $4000 visiting. By sending her $1000, I am showing her I'm serious. Furthermore, she will be very happy and if she is real, when I do visit her in January, I know I can win her heart and soul. Yes, $1000 and that's it. No more until I visit AND we have great chemistry AND we are committed to each other, etc. However, if she receives the $1000 and wants more money before I visit then of course I will say no.
I just see it as spend $4000 right now or just $1000. If she is scammer and ask for more money then yes, I will not pursue her anymore. If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious. If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.
I agree with other posters RWO and pretty much all posters here will say the same, DON'T SEND MONEY, even voluntarily. It will almost certainly wreck any chance of a relationship with this woman. That may sound strange to you I can imagine but FSU culture and dating work in a certain way and that is what members here know about. Essentially if you send money you are likely creating a bad situation, you are creating a scammer where one currently likely doesn't exist. She'll get the $1000 you sent her and think 'that was easy and I don't even really know him' which will lead to thoughts off, 'I wonder how much more he may be good for, I'll press him and see'. It's almost inevitable that she will ask for more as it sets up that way of thinking in her mind. The excuses she can come out with are endless and you become little more than a bank account for her. Whenever the money stops so does the communication. She'll lose respect for you, that you are so easily taken and your chances of a relationship will be gone. You will have created your own problem and demise of any chance of a relationship with this woman.
You see how it works? It's not personal to you the same would happen if any of us sent money in such a situation. She is not asking for money so don't turn it into that situation. She's survived so far all these years in Moldova so she'll survive many more. Russia are highly unlikely to invade as they are well and truly tied up in the Donbass and struggling there, it makes no sense for them to bring more problems upon themselves when they have yet to deal with their current one and struggling at it. If it did occur there are plenty of EU nations right next door with big well funded Aid Organisations, they're well set up to deal with any problem so don't get suckered into feeling that you have to get involved. This woman will survive and do ok just as she is in Moldova, she is just after a better lifestyle & opportunities for her child.
So yeah, definitely go with the gifts option as it avoids that paycheck mentality being set up in her mind. One technique that you can do if you have to wait a long time before seeing her (assuming the job comes through) is to let her more into your life, show her your lifestyle, way of living, what you do, hobbies, interests and day to day activities. It's what some members have done here in the past and it can work. She becomes more assured of who you are and buys into your lifestyle. End of the day she would rather have a better idea of who she is going with and what your lifestyle may be like than some guy who ends up saying 'come with Me' and her not knowing what to expect. It may not be easy letting her into your life at such an early stage but with the amount of time you have on hand before meeting it's probably your best option I think. While it needs to be fairly natural avoid it being too boring of course. She will probably regard it with interest what goes on around you. Other members in the past have reported that it can help when you finally meet as it can help a lot with bonding, no guarantees of course but may help what you have going go the distance.
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If you have the time this is a good watch:
http://drama.uktv.co.uk/shows/les-miserables/
Not Russian, based in France and the drama rather than singing version (preferable to me). Anyhow about almost mid way through it shows you the problem of what occurs when you send money to strangers/almost strangers and the thought processes that get set up. It may help you to understand better what is being said here.
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If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her). If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious. If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.
1. Stop with the testing
2. Stay in an apartment not a hotel.
3. Stop saying you can't do something, figure out how to do it instead.
4. Ask the mods to remove her photo or some idiot here will find her
and contact her.
5. Why do you not know basic information about her, like her address?
6. Don't post her address here.
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RWO, just out of interest do you hope to have children with this lady?
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Very good information thanks to all the gentlemen. With my new job, (Offer was already made) I do not know when my first day of work is. They told me maybe end of July, maybe mid-August during the interview process. I emailed them today asking if there is a firm start date. I know that if I go to Moldova it will be a $3000-$4000 usd trip depending on when I go. If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her). It's not about the money, it's just the timing with my job and once my job starts, I will not be able to go until I build up some vacation time. I can't send her money just because I will not know if she is a scammer or is she a real woman looking for relationship. I want to buy/send her a birthday gift but then again, sometimes cash money is the best because she may need clothes, or she may need food, or she wants to save some money just in case if Russians invades and she needs to leave Moldova. I rather give her the flexibility because you never know. I am someone that if someone wants to get me something, I rather just get cash so I can do whatever I want with it.
From what I can tell in the last 3 weeks since I met her and texting and video chatting, I think she is a real woman looking for relationship. Of course, I do believe I am not the only man she is talking to. But, I do want to send her some money (She has not ask for money) just in case of the last reason I posted above: What if she needs to leave Moldova if the war spill over into Moldova. I am thinking $500-$1000 usd. Yes, there will be lots of posts from you guys saying "NO". Let's say she is scammer, but if that money can save her and her family or at least get them to somewhere safe, I will just chalk it up to being a good christian. But if she is real, then this gesture will speak volumes to her about me. I mean, honestly, if it weren't for my job, I was going to spend at least $3000 to $4000 visiting. By sending her $1000, I am showing her I'm serious. Furthermore, she will be very happy and if she is real, when I do visit her in January, I know I can win her heart and soul. Yes, $1000 and that's it. No more until I visit AND we have great chemistry AND we are committed to each other, etc. However, if she receives the $1000 and wants more money before I visit then of course I will say no.
I just see it as spend $4000 right now or just $1000. If she is scammer and ask for more money then yes, I will not pursue her anymore. If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious. If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.
I understand your concerns with your job.
Ok I will dissect what you have written to show all the inappropriate beliefs that this western civilization (not really your fault) has given to you.
The initial rookie mistake you made as Krim wrote is to have shot some ducks with a nice rifle but you forgot the bullets at home. That was the initial mistake that pushed you into such a situation.
And now you would address the problem with money.
You want to send her some money. For which reasons?
The only reason is related to you and your image. Image of a good Christian, the image of the serious guy who speaks volumes to her about you. After you make a trade with yourself, if I had traveled I would have paid $4000 so I can drop $1000 on her not a bad deal in the end.
You wrote, "because of the $1000 she will be very happy". Yes in her situation $1000 will make her happy, everybody will be happy with 3 months of wage in their pocket. But the problem is that she will think you are a fool also.
How do you know that you can win her heart and soul? Many women would discard you because of your smell, because of how you stand, because of how you move, or how you are dressed. What is your superpower to avoid this?
The way you are writing this is quite interesting. So a relationship is only for you when you can win her heart and soul? It doesn't mind, it's no interest that SHE works to win your heart and soul?
I would prefer you to write "I would like to travel and know how she can win my heart and my soul", far far better.
No, no that's damned important because the day you reverse everything and think seriously, quietly, what a woman is doing to win you, YOU. Your relationships will be changed forever.
You are still in the position of the guy who, by his sole and unique conquest will bring her as a toy to your country.
You want her, but maybe you should worry more about "does she want me, and what is she doing to make this relationship work?
This is a typical western attitude to rush in a woman, blindly, rush for a marriage to get her asap, splash the maximum of money, impress her and remove her asap from the dating market because the dating competition makes a lot of westerners uncomfortable.
The trophy chase in international dating does include a lot of fast divorces. We had plenty of stories like this on this forum.
A couple is about TWO people who work together in the same direction.
You should worry more about "what are the red flags and the NO that will make me discard this woman?" rather than just focussing on the final trophy.
Is she REALLY interested in me? Better than spending all your energy showing her how HIGH you are interested in her and doing it blindly.
You don't have to win her heart and her soul, she has to make halfway, because if not, it's not worth a penny.
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That's some absolute top level stuff Pat. RWO that's the kind of thinking at an expert level, it's stuff I take on board as it's useful for me to, it's beyond the rudimentary of this search, some of which has been covered so far.
I've made mistakes on this search, learnt some stuff along the way but it takes a lot to really master FSU dating.
What Pat states is real important as a woman really wanting you is different than her just accepting you. In that I think it's not just about her chasing you but also about how you can be the best guy for that to occur. The better you can make yourself the more she will want you. Being a good earner is a good start but more than that I think is how you come across, your persona, how you dress, your physique, your ambitions, etc, etc.
I've visited a few FSW and a girl who just accepts you, who is willing to walk away from you is not a good place to be. So I think sometimes when communicating with a girl it can be best not to go chasing after her, to try too hard. Better to make the effort in improving yourself and make them want to be with you.
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Yes, everything said is true. This girl needs to show she will love me for me and not money. Of course, the difficult situation is that I live in US while she is in Moldova. If I met her 4 months ago, I would visit very easily. No job commitments. If I met her 4 months in the future, all I have to wait is 1.5 months so I can visit after I accumulate some vacation time.
I do not think I will have biological children with her. She has 1 son, I have a son.
She is giving me the silent treatment. She has not send any messages or replied to any of my messages since Sunday. She viewed the messages so she didn't block me. I really feel my hands are tied. Again, the situation is not where she asked for money directly and I said no. I emailed my potential employer about tentative start date yesterday but they did not respond. I hope they do soon so maybe I can go out there for 10 days from August 1st to August 10th. But I do not want to go unless we both are excited for me to go. Right now, it's silent treatment.
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Yes, everything said is true. This girl needs to show she will love me for me and not money. Of course, the difficult situation is that I live in US while she is in Moldova. If I met her 4 months ago, I would visit very easily. No job commitments. If I met her 4 months in the future, all I have to wait is 1.5 months so I can visit after I accumulate some vacation time.
I do not think I will have biological children with her. She has 1 son, I have a son.
She is giving me the silent treatment. She has not send any messages or replied to any of my messages since Sunday. She viewed the messages so she didn't block me. I really feel my hands are tied. Again, the situation is not where she asked for money directly and I said no. I emailed my potential employer about tentative start date yesterday but they did not respond. I hope they do soon so maybe I can go out there for 10 days from August 1st to August 10th. But I do not want to go unless we both are excited for me to go. Right now, it's silent treatment.
My guess is that she wants you to pony up with sending the pressies to show that you are interested and not just another Keyboard Romeo who is wasting her time. She had no doubt come across a lot of them so this is her way to see if you are serious so she doesn't waste any time needlessly.
I'm guessing that if you don't send anything then she will consider that your promise to come is likely meaningless as well and not likely to transpire.
No telling if she will just ask for a once off or expect it pressies periodically between now and when you visit as tribute in lieu of inability to visit. Hence why shooting your bolt too early isn't a good thing as this is the type of stuff that can befall you ;D
With Work in the UK some organisations ask if you have any holiday commitments pre-arranged they may then give you that time off, unpaid of course though. Possibly US organisations may do similar?
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Yes, everything said is true. This girl needs to show she will love me for me and not money. Of course, the difficult situation is that I live in US while she is in Moldova. If I met her 4 months ago, I would visit very easily. No job commitments. If I met her 4 months in the future, all I have to wait is 1.5 months so I can visit after I accumulate some vacation time.
I do not think I will have biological children with her. She has 1 son, I have a son.
She is giving me the silent treatment. She has not send any messages or replied to any of my messages since Sunday. She viewed the messages so she didn't block me. I really feel my hands are tied. Again, the situation is not where she asked for money directly and I said no. I emailed my potential employer about tentative start date yesterday but they did not respond. I hope they do soon so maybe I can go out there for 10 days from August 1st to August 10th. But I do not want to go unless we both are excited for me to go. Right now, it's silent treatment.
Thank you for your honesty. I appreciate.
I was fearing what is happening now. The silent treatment...
So you can reread all my posts and you will see that everything I told you was already inside.
She is angry or worst she has moved on.
FSU women have a cultural specificity compared to western women, they can decide to move on, and then you are cleaned to the toilets. In fact, a toilet is on the earth. The FSU toilets are in fact located on Saturn, four galaxies away, you are literally vacuumed into a dark hole. You need to know this.
About the dynamics to chase AND to be chased, it changes everything because a woman FEELS it. She feels that she needs to take the extra step to own you. She needs to work to CHASE you, it makes her experience tenfold remarkable and unique, it's what they are craving for.
When all is given it has not worth.
last advice, as you start to guess, you have only ONE bullet now. If you are free to go at the beginning of August.
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I do not mind sending gifts, even money if I have to. I may follow the wisdoms bestowed to me; maybe $50 a month along with some other gifts like flowers/clothes.
With this job, or any job in the US, they don't mind you take vacation if you have vacation time build up. I think my job is 3.5 hours per pay period. So, if I start work in August, that's 5 months with 35 hours vacation time so that's perfect for me to visit in January.
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I went back and read your posts. You said she indirectly asked for support. The minute a woman does that, cut her and move on. She isn't interested in you. She is interested in your wallet.
I told my husband you were thinking of sending her $1000. He grew up in the FSU. He said "Go for it. Someone will be able to buy a lot of vodka with that."
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Boe: She said on our last video chat that she wanted to meet me. She said we can meet in Europe. I said no again because of my job situation. I would think any woman would want a potential suitor to support them. She has not asked for money. In fact, I have been messaging her yesterday and today if I can get her gifts, toy for her son, flowers and she still didn't respond. I am still holding out hope that this is a real woman that just wants a relationship. Of course, I will protect myself.
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Would you be supporting an American woman you had not met, but intended to meet?
Would you financially support an American woman you're dating?
No, it is unusual to support a woman, unless you are living with her, or she is your wife.
I think the delay in meeting is a bigger issue. You can't really expect her to hold off while you organize your life. So, you have to assume she is speaking to other men as well. If she comes back to communication with you, it's because those haven't panned out. That's not a bad thing. You haven't met, and women have a shorter "shelf life" than do men, particularly in that part of the world. So, if she doesn't communicate back, just text her from time to time. Her response (or non response) will tell you where she's at.
If it doesn't work with this one, I suggest you hold off on contacting another woman across the world until you are in a position to go and meet her in short order.
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. . . I suggest you hold off on contacting another woman across the world until you are in a position to go and meet her in short order.
My modification.
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I do not mind sending gifts, even money if I have to. I may follow the wisdoms bestowed to me; maybe $50 a month along with some other gifts like flowers/clothes.
I guess providing any advice is like... :deadhorse:
Instead I'm going to open a book.
How long before RWO says he has been 'cheated' by this woman?
1-3 months, 5/1
3-6 months, 3/1
12 months, 1/2
How much money is he going to send to a complete stranger only to be 'scammed'?
< $1k, 3/1
$1-5k, 4/1
$5-10k, 5/1
$10k+, 7/1
Place yer bets, place yer bets!
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RWO,
it’s a bad idea, to start planning a family BEFORE you get your financial house “in order”
you are NOT even CLOSE to doing this,
in fact you’re probably YEARS away from doing so…
if you try and start a family, before you are financially ready
then you are gonna face some major stress
I know you’re hornier than a 2-peckered billy-goat…
but chill…
do things in the correct sequence
ask rwd123, for incel advice on handling horniness
i’m sure you can find “a solution” for your sex problem just like him!!!
and get a grip on "things"
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RWO, I think the providing 'support' depends on whether she meant it once in a relationship with her, which is fine provided you are actually in a relationship (after you meet and her & your life become one) or whether she means support now which of course is very bad. If she is asking for support in the here and now then that indicates that she is pressing you for money and consequently has a low opinion of you on the respect front and is money hungry herself. I hope I don't need to tell you that sending money will not end well for you, it won't end you up in a relationship with her.
I think all the way through it sounds like you have made a series of faux pas in your communication with this lady. I'm not saying she wouldn't try it in anyway assuming she is asking for support literally now and not what her future requirements are when in a relationship. Anyhow, by committing mistake after mistake in communicating it can quickly lead to her thinking of you as a dumb ass. Even one mistake alone can wreak your chances with a FSW but many tends to be often very difficult if not impossible to recover from. Often with FSW mistake made recovery not often possible. So getting to know what and what not to say with a FSW is important as I'm sure you're now realising, at least I hope so.
Many of us have made mistakes early on with FSW, I have so you're not alone, often it can be just one mistake but enough to torpedo the relationship. If it's several mistakes often that's a ship with many torpedo holes in it and sinking fast. What's important is to realise not to make the same mistakes over, i.e, cut the talk of 'friends', don't send money, etc.
Possibly this situation might still be recoverable, if you don't send money be seen to break to her silent treatment and haven't said you would send money then she may respect you more. Whether it is good to go with this woman long term I'm not so sure. My guess is as others have said she has found a better prospect either for a relationship or to fleece money for in the short term so you've been given the back seat, maybe permanently, but that may turn out to not such a bad thing if she's a bad girl.
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Would you be supporting an American woman you had not met, but intended to meet?
Would you financially support an American woman you're dating?
No, it is unusual to support a woman, unless you are living with her, or she is your wife.
I think the delay in meeting is a bigger issue. You can't really expect her to hold off while you organize your life. So, you have to assume she is speaking to other men as well. If she comes back to communication with you, it's because those haven't panned out. That's not a bad thing. You haven't met, and women have a shorter "shelf life" than do men, particularly in that part of the world. So, if she doesn't communicate back, just text her from time to time. Her response (or non response) will tell you where she's at.
If it doesn't work with this one, I suggest you hold off on contacting another woman across the world until you are in a position to go and meet her in short order.
+1
I have read thousands or dozens of thousands of FSU profiles. More and more are specifying "don't write me if you are NOT IN MY CITY".
I think that's clear enough.
Some other comments:
You should avoid any woman from Transsinitria because you cannot visit this part of Moldovia.
She has proposed you travel to Europe. The budget for a trip to Europe (she will ask to have her own bedroom) is likely to be a $500 note per day.(I live in France and have gone to the neighboring countries).
The first rule is you visit her in her country, and for those who had had to leave, where they are "refugees" right now (Poland, Hungary, Roumanie especially and all over Europe and all over the world). The other ones, IMHO are not visitable due to the war. Even in Belarus I will be cautious.
You will have a Federal job. Maybe a little bit "sensitive", it's not because your balls touch the floor that you have to risk serious troubles. We are in wartime guy, it's not only about a lovely pussy.
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I have read thousands or dozens of thousands of FSU profiles. More and more are specifying "don't write me if you are NOT IN MY CITY".
I think that's clear enough.
Interesting development Pat, they never used to say that, as you know it used to be, 'only write if you plan to come soon' type of phrase. So the fact that they have moved to don't write if you are not in my city shows how cheesed off they are with guys who write, promise to visit but never do, i.e Keyboard Romeo's, guys who procrastinate and possibly guys who just choose to visit some other girl.
I haven't seen but am sure you are right as I haven't bothered to look up girls profiles of recent, seemed no point unless at a stage when I can visit. In any case I personally prefer to be over there preferably for a while and just call them up there and then, gets rid of a lot of all these awkward Video chat sessions and talk, get to see the girl in the flesh and see whether there is any chemistry there straight away, but then not as long a journey for us as the US guys ;D
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Very good information thanks to all the gentlemen. With my new job, (Offer was already made) I do not know when my first day of work is. They told me maybe end of July, maybe mid-August during the interview process. I emailed them today asking if there is a firm start date. I know that if I go to Moldova it will be a $3000-$4000 usd trip depending on when I go. If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her). It's not about the money, it's just the timing with my job and once my job starts, I will not be able to go until I build up some vacation time. I can't send her money just because I will not know if she is a scammer or is she a real woman looking for relationship. I want to buy/send her a birthday gift but then again, sometimes cash money is the best because she may need clothes, or she may need food, or she wants to save some money just in case if Russians invades and she needs to leave Moldova. I rather give her the flexibility because you never know. I am someone that if someone wants to get me something, I rather just get cash so I can do whatever I want with it.
From what I can tell in the last 3 weeks since I met her and texting and video chatting, I think she is a real woman looking for relationship. Of course, I do believe I am not the only man she is talking to. But, I do want to send her some money (She has not ask for money) just in case of the last reason I posted above: What if she needs to leave Moldova if the war spill over into Moldova. I am thinking $500-$1000 usd. Yes, there will be lots of posts from you guys saying "NO". Let's say she is scammer, but if that money can save her and her family or at least get them to somewhere safe, I will just chalk it up to being a good christian. But if she is real, then this gesture will speak volumes to her about me. I mean, honestly, if it weren't for my job, I was going to spend at least $3000 to $4000 visiting. By sending her $1000, I am showing her I'm serious. Furthermore, she will be very happy and if she is real, when I do visit her in January, I know I can win her heart and soul. Yes, $1000 and that's it. No more until I visit AND we have great chemistry AND we are committed to each other, etc. However, if she receives the $1000 and wants more money before I visit then of course I will say no.
I just see it as spend $4000 right now or just $1000. If she is scammer and ask for more money then yes, I will not pursue her anymore. If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious. If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.
Good lord,
I have never read such a mish mash of bad ideas and reasoning in years.
I don't have time to itemize everything at this time. I have a job and posting
on the forum is a hobby.
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I think Bill is suggesting sending money is a bad idea.
Are you aware, RWO, that Ukrainian refugees are returning to Ukraine? Many are displaced internally, particularly if they're from regions with active combat. But even IN a country at war, people are returning.
There is little chance that anyone in Moldova doesn't have money for food.
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Are you aware, RWO, that Ukrainian refugees are returning to Ukraine? Many are displaced internally, particularly if they're from regions with active combat. But even IN a country at war, people are returning.
Indeed. Of 14 UA folks that came to our little town after the war started, 10 already returned weeks ago. Those that remain are from the Donbas area.
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Interesting development Pat, they never used to say that, as you know it used to be, 'only write if you plan to come soon' type of phrase. So the fact that they have moved to don't write if you are not in my city shows how cheesed off they are with guys who write, promise to visit but never do, i.e Keyboard Romeo's, guys who procrastinate and possibly guys who just choose to visit some other girl.
I haven't seen but am sure you are right as I haven't bothered to look up girls profiles of recent, seemed no point unless at a stage when I can visit. In any case I personally prefer to be over there preferably for a while and just call them up there and then, gets rid of a lot of all these awkward Video chat sessions and talk, get to see the girl in the flesh and see whether there is any chemistry there straight away, but then not as long a journey for us as the US guys ;D
I read many profiles in Russian, it's probably why you didn't notice it, because in some dating applications you cannot use the translation applications therefore if you cannot read in Russian you cannot get the message.
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Indeed. Of 14 UA folks that came to our little town after the war started, 10 already returned weeks ago. Those that remain are from the Donbas area.
I have the same information around me about Ukrainian people returning, a lot. +1
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Good lord,
I have never read such a mish mash of bad ideas and reasoning in years.
I don't have time to itemize everything at this time. I have a job and posting
on the forum is a hobby.
You mean someone has surpassed me Bill :D
That's one accolade I don't mind passing on lol.
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I think Bill is suggesting sending money is a bad idea.
Are you aware, RWO, that Ukrainian refugees are returning to Ukraine? Many are displaced internally, particularly if they're from regions with active combat. But even IN a country at war, people are returning.
There is little chance that anyone in Moldova doesn't have money for food.
That's very interesting info Boe (& BC) it kind of shows how people are often attached to the place they live. My guess is that they would rather be somewhere with a familiar language, culture, family & friends/people around. I think one way or another (missiles, bullets & war aside) that they all find some way to survive and get by. I think the few women that try international dating are either on the make, genuinely want a better more comfortable/prosperous life or just not aware of how much of a big cultural difference it would entail.
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Still demand for homes for Refugees here it seems, Lincolnshire county has recently appealed for more people able to offer homes. In Ireland they have apparently run out of housing so bad that they are putting them up in tents now. Some refugees are apparently wanting to sit our the war until returning. Guess it's a bit of a mixed picture depending on how people feel about how things are.
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http://data.unhcr.org/en/situations/ukraine
Up to date migration statistics.
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http://data.unhcr.org/en/situations/ukraine
Up to date migration statistics.
Interesting statistics BC, looks like the enemy, Russia is the preferred destination for many Ukrainians lol. Guessing they've already decided who will win in their mind and decided to make the move already!
What can I say, we're very selective here, don't just let in anyone ;)
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RWO, back to you, I think in the meantime between now and when you're ready to meet a FSW the best use of free time is to read up on FSU culture and relationship stuff. There's loads here and this is a good place to read through. There's stickies at the top with useful info. Bill usually posts up links to the essentials for newbies as well. Definitely read up on all the conventions for dating in the FSU. A lot has been said in this thread but the more comprehensive idea you get then hopefully the less faux pas you'll make. Like said I made a fair number of mistakes out in the FSU and some are unfortunately next to impossible to recover a relationship from out there. That's a real bummer when you find out you find out had you known how things work a relationship with a girl you liked that could have worked went south often just because of one silky mistake you didn't know about and wouldn't have thought off. So I would say don't give up, learn from your mistakes so far, learn to avoid other mistakes and move forward.
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Is moskova Moscow?
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Is moskova Moscow?
Looks so:
http://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Moskova
Finnish variation it appears, why you ask?
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Is moskova Moscow?
Da YES
But some Moldovian, pro-Russian people could register as located in Russia. My Russian teacher does it.
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Is moskova Moscow?
Moldovan for Moscow
Moskva in Russian
but there is NO MORE Leningrad
first it was Saint Petersburg, then Leningrad, now it's Saint Petersburg
leningrad's a long time gone...
so if you have a date in Leningrad
she'll be waiting in Saint Petersburg
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It's an address that this woman gave me (she responded to my text today). I asked to get her mom flowers and she accepted. The reason being is that she told me her mom is not well. Was diagnosed with some bad stuff. The address has Moskova but she told me she lived in Chisinau, Moldova. Now, I didn't ask her yet why she gave me an address for Moscow during our short conversation today but it could be that her mom lives in Moscow and she went there to visit. Or maybe she didn't visit at all. Maybe it's just her mom's address. I will find out tomorrow.
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ahhhh.....
the "ole sick mom" story....
classic...
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I've seen picture of her mom. She is a little overweight.
My aunt passed away from stomach cancer almost 4 years ago. She was only 65. My aunt was overweight, stressed out, stays up late, no exercise, eat whatever she wants. Main reason though was because of H-Pylori. Most of my aunts all had it but they didn't even know. All of them went to check because of my aunt dying.
But yes, this new development has me concerned. Concerned if she is a scammer and using this as excuse to start asking for money to help pay medical treatment/bills. Concerned if she is real and that her mom truly is sick. Like WTFFFFFFF
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You would think that in today's world of total info available on the Internet and elsewhere . . . there would be no more 'suckers.'
But it seems P.T. Barnum had it right.
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You would think that in today's world of total info available on the Internet and elsewhere . . . there would be no more 'suckers.'
a Trump Voter, said "WHAT"?
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The address has Moskova but she told me she lived in Chisinau, Moldova.
I'll lay even money you can't even read an address. Moskova (Boulevard) is one of the main streets in Chisinau.
If that is the case... oh man... you may be beyond help. Pat, Davo - got another body bag ready?
(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/MfgS6WLvHCk/maxresdefault.jpg)
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Interesting statistics BC, looks like the enemy, Russia is the preferred destination for many Ukrainians lol. Guessing they've already decided who will win in their mind and decided to make the move already!
What can I say, we're very selective here, don't just let in anyone ;)
http://www.state.gov/russias-filtration-operations-forced-disappearances-and-mass-deportations-of-ukrainian-citizens/
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http://www.state.gov/russias-filtration-operations-forced-disappearances-and-mass-deportations-of-ukrainian-citizens/
That's a lot of people, they must have almost emptied a fair amount of the cities they have conquered so far as at the moment they've only conquered about 3 main cities, the ones that have been left standing at least.
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ahhhh.....
the "ole sick mom" story....
classic...
Yep, lol.
I would think it kind of strange for some woman's sick Mum to receive flowers from some guy her daughter has just been messaging of the internet from a far away place. Would be perculiar that I would not wish to do so.
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I'll lay even money you can't even read an address. Moskova (Boulevard) is one of the main streets in Chisinau.
If that is the case... oh man... you may be beyond help. Pat, Davo - got another body bag ready?
(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/MfgS6WLvHCk/maxresdefault.jpg)
RWD is probably right on this one, may you read PROSPECT on the address? проспект
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RWD: what or how should an address read for Chisinau?
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RWD: what or how should an address read for Chisinau?
I've never been to Moldova.
But addresses in former Soviet countries can be written in reverse. For example:
11/80 Moscova Bulevardul
Chisinau
Republic of Moldova
May be written something like:
Republic of Moldova, г. Chisinau, Moscova Bulevardul, д. 80, к.11
г. = city
д. = the building number
к. = apartment number
Bulevardul means boulevard (проспект in Russian). From what I gather they don't use cyrillic in Moldova so the acronyms may be different.
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But addresses in former Soviet countries can be written in reverse.
out of hundreds of FSU addresses I've delt with
EXACTLY NONE, were written in reverse
just because a dingo drank some of your Foster's
and then told you this story
doesn't make it true!
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"Prospect" and "boulevard" are distinct in Russian. A "boulevard" always has trees, benches, and sidewalks, for people to stroll. An example is Boulevard Khreshchatik in Kyiv. A "prospect" primarily is a traffic divider. It can have trees, but no benches or sidewalks. Or, it could just be a street. An example is Nevsky Prospekt in St. Petersburg.
Don't tell Russians "boulevard" is a French word. Same with "vitrina" (a store window) or "ekran".
Addresses - The way I have seen them, always, is:
country name
oblast name
region name
city name and post office district
street name, apartment block number, apartment number
For large cities, you didn't have to list the oblast or region name.
For villages:
country name
oblast name
region name
name of village
If you reversed this, it is likely the mail would still get to the recipient, but the format above is preferred.
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The address was meant to get her flowers. I believe there is a street named Moskova in Chisinau. I plan to call/email a florist and gave them the address and see what they tell me.
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"Prospect" and "boulevard" are distinct in Russian. A "boulevard" always has trees, benches, and sidewalks, for people to stroll. An example is Boulevard Khreshchatik in Kyiv. A "prospect" primarily is a traffic divider. It can have trees, but no benches or sidewalks. Or, it could just be a street. An example is Nevsky Prospekt in St. Petersburg.
Don't tell Russians "boulevard" is a French word. Same with "vitrina" (a store window) or "ekran".
Addresses - The way I have seen them, always, is:
country name
oblast name
region name
city name and post office district
street name, apartment block number, apartment number
For large cities, you didn't have to list the oblast or region name.
For villages:
country name
oblast name
region name
name of village
If you reversed this, it is likely the mail would still get to the recipient, but the format above is preferred.
Spot on Boe..... Every woman who’s given me her address has sent it in the reverse format.... Every package I’ve sent has been addressed in the same format..... When I use a local prepaid box with the standard western format, I fill it in in English, then add the reverse format in Russian so there’s no confusion on either end.
A drunk dingo told me this is the correct method..... He drinks Coopers so it can’t be a lie 😂
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While we're at it. Anyone knows a good florist/flower shop in Chisinau? This girl wants a rainbow bouquet of roses. I believe I found the place of the address. It's her work place not her actual residential address. Makes sense, she sent me a short video before of her working.
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Official address of US Embassy in Moldova from their web site
US. Embassy Chisinau
103 Mateevici street
Chisinau MD-2009
Republic of Moldova
http://md.usembassy.gov/
official address of US embassy in Moscow, Russia from their website
US. Embassy of Moscow
Bolshoy Deviatinsky
Pereulok No. 8
Moscow 121099
Russian Federation
http://ru.usembassy.gov/embassy-consulates/moscow/
In Russia, the OLD rule with postal addresses was to go from general to specific: country, postal code, city or town, street, house, apartment, name. In most of the world the accepted standard is different, because in most of the world they send regular mail often and see to it that things arrive fast.
Today the correct order for address details in Russia is from specific to general:
addressee’s full name;
company name (if applicable);
street name, house number, building details, apartment or office number;
place name (city, town, village, etc.);
area;
administrative division (republic, krai, oblast, autonomous okrug or oblast);
postal code;
country name (for international mail, on a separate line).
source: http://www.artlebedev.com/mandership/163/
just say "NO" to info from DINGOs regardless of the beer brand
RWO, try google for kishinev florists
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While we're at it. Anyone knows a good florist/flower shop in Chisinau? This girl wants a rainbow bouquet of roses. I believe I found the place of the address. It's her work place not her actual residential address. Makes sense, she sent me a short video before of her working.
Don't like to think the worst of people but what are the odds this lady will take the flowers and just make out to her Mother they are from her ;D
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http://www.courthousenews.com/us-embassy-in-moscow-gets-new-address-named-after-ukraine-separatists/
“The United States embassy in Russia has a new official address,” Moscow city hall said in a statement, saying it had named a previously unnamed open area in front of the embassy’s main entrance.
It said the embassy is now located at 1 Donetsk People’s Republic Square, referring to a breakaway region in eastern Ukraine that Moscow recognized as independent shortly before sending troops there.
Must inform the Bolshoi Theater, GUM and the Hermitage they don't know how to write addresses:
http://bolshoi.ru/about/contacts
http://gum.ru/contacts/
http://www.hermitagemuseum.org/wps/portal/hermitage/about?lng=ru
RWO - be careful who you obtain advice from. They may be demented from birth or old age, or both. If you send flowers (which I don't recommend at this point in time) consult with Pat as to the appropriate type, color and number. If they're getting sent to her workplace you should consider this. Her co-workers are likely to see them and gossip about it.
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Google: gum store address russia
it returns:
Red Square, 3, Moscow, Russia, 109012
some Russians STILL use the OLD WAY, and not the NEWER international form
but…
Moldova ain’t Russia
Moldovans more frequently use international form…
stop letting the Dingo drink your Foster’s by the billywog
dingos are not reliable when they drink
and they leave their poop everywhere
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If you look at sites originating in Russia, addresses are how I listed them.
In Moldova, addresses are in the standard Western style.
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I can't believe there is so much argument over how to put down an address. I'm sure it will get to where it needs to go whether quite the correct form is used or not. The local florist will no doubt be able to advise/put down the address as needed anyway I would have thought.
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Who would ever want to send someone a disposable asset . . . other than nourishing food?
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Who would ever want to send someone a disposable asset . . . other than nourishing food?
Indeed, I agree ML. I learnt along the way to start communication with a woman after International Woman's Day, that way I avoid all of the expense of sending flowers etc on a relationship that may be over well before the next year's International Woman's Day.
My mother never liked cut flowers, at least those that are bought as she thinks it's a waste as they are only thrown out at the end. Her preference is to have a potted plant instead as the gift keeps on giving as they say.
I heard that some women like cut flowers as it's a sacrificial kind of thing. I never really found it to be much if a boost with the ladies when dating in the FSU. I think if she likes you it may be a boost otherwise it can just kind of fall flat..
I think the problem with RWO here is that he started out so early before being able to visit and now doesn't wish to decline the woman's requests as he fears he may get ditched, which would probably happen, but he instead risks being roped into demand after demand until he can get out there in six months time and that could end up a fair bit. On meeting there is no saying if she will feel anything for him and at its worst may not have much respect for him if she thinks he's easily taken. All depends on how it goes down I think , she hasn't asked for money, yet, so who knows maybe RWO might still be in with a chance.
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I don't think flowers are a waste of money. They are beautiful and bring joy.
RWO wasn't asked to send the mother flowers. He offered. It doesn't seem there was "demand after demand". That's your own insecurity flaring up again, Trench.
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I don't think flowers are a waste of money. They are beautiful and bring joy.
RWO wasn't asked to send the mother flowers. He offered. It doesn't seem there was "demand after demand". That's your own insecurity flaring up again, Trench.
No he wasn't asked but she put it out there and so after previously asking for care & support, flowers, food & gifts for birthdays, etc was likely possibly to see if he might pony up with anything. RWO hasn't met or communicated with the Mother in any form so to me at least too odd to send flowers in my opinion.
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I offered to get flowers. Then she tells me her mother is sick. I offered to get flowers for her and her mother. She accepted. But I'm having a hard time reading Romanian or Russian. I plan to call and see if any of the florists can speak English.
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I offered to get flowers. Then she tells me her mother is sick. I offered to get flowers for her and her mother. She accepted. But I'm having a hard time reading Romanian or Russian. I plan to call and see if any of the florists can speak English.
What about this one:
http://www.chisinauflowers.com/
I've never used them before but some good reviews up so may be worth a look into. I've no idea how good they might be though. A lot of websites may offer to translate into English if you have Google Translate installed on your phone. Alternatively they might have an English (or American) Flag button in the corner of the screen to press on to translate the page. With doing it from a distance it can occasionally be hit or miss whether you get decent service/a good bunch of flowers along but often it can work. Just really take a chance and see how it goes really.
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She got the flowers and she sent pictures to me with it. However, the address she gave me is not good. The florist texted me and said they need to confirm with the recipient. So when the flowers were delivered, I asked the courier whether it was the address I inputted in or was it a different address. The courier said it was a different address. So, she is still not 100% honest/open with me. But at least she got the flowers. She said she really like them.
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I don't know about Moldova, but in Ukraine, the sending of flowers by WM to UW was an industry in and of itself. The woman would take a photo with the flowers, then return them to the florist. The florist would sell them to someone else at local prices, and the girl would get a cut of the price of the flowers paid by the WM.
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The courier took a picture and send to me. It seems like she was outside. She then took 3 pictures and sent to me, it seems like she was inside somewhere. Besides, she didn't chose the florist, I did randomly.
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She got the flowers and she sent pictures to me with it. However, the address she gave me is not good. The florist texted me and said they need to confirm with the recipient. So when the flowers were delivered, I asked the courier whether it was the address I inputted in or was it a different address. The courier said it was a different address. So, she is still not 100% honest/open with me. But at least she got the flowers. She said she really like them.
Then you have learnt something as a result, that in itself is useful experience and cheap at the price for you. You made a smart move clarifying whether it was the address she gave you, there's hope for you yet ;D
I'm not saying there isn't sometimes a genuine reason but my gut tells me that there likely isn't in this case. It's normally not a good sign and an early warning to be wary. Possibly she might be wary and gave you a different address because she is wary who knows. At this stage I wouldn't go making excuses for her but just keep what you learnt to yourself for the moment and see what else you can pick up on along the way.
Or,
Some might say to call her out on it, she might respect you more for finding her out. She'll probably make up an excuse unless she has genuine reason. The choice is yours really, keeping quiet may make her become more daring in terms of stuff and audacity of her requests and she may lose more respect for you. Calling her out will make her aware your aware so you might lose the opportunity to see what other tricks she is capable of, if this is indeed a trick.
Possibly yes I guess she might go back to the florists and ask for a refund saying she doesn't like the flowers or something. Could be interesting to see how this plays out.
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I don't know about Moldova, but in Ukraine, the sending of flowers by WM to UW was an industry in and of itself. The woman would take a photo with the flowers, then return them to the florist. The florist would sell them to someone else at local prices, and the girl would get a cut of the price of the flowers paid by the WM.
Please don't tell such stories here.
Now I will have nightmares when I sleep, even as I never sent any flowers to a gal.
So just . . . Tell Me It's Not True, Petula Clark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPdMg5cKdFc
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I messaged her today and she told me that her family is going to Israel for finding a good doctor for her mom. I wanted to call her but she refused. I am worried about her mother and this whole situation. I feel bad because I told her that I am here for her but it just seems like she's treating me like I'm not someone that she trusts or confides in.
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no MONEY!!
no HONEY!!
not FUNNY?
how about,
your nose is...
RUNNY!!
or
your love life
not so SUNNY
thank you, thank you very much
hope you all enjoyed the show
I'll be here all week..
.
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I messaged her today and she told me that her family is going to Israel for finding a good doctor for her mom. I wanted to call her but she refused. I am worried about her mother and this whole situation. I feel bad because I told her that I am here for her but it just seems like she's treating me like I'm not someone that she trusts or confides in.
Of course not, you're just some guy of the internet!!!
You've never met her, she doesn't really know you, you don't really know her.
I think you are well over thinking the amount you feature in this woman's life. To most FSW communicating with some guy on the internet doesn't hold a lot of weight for them.
In Soviet times you would be damn careful who you trusted and confided in moreso outside the immediate family in many cases. Even today the world over telling some penpal of the internet your personal business isn't necessarily the best idea depending on what it is and who you are telling/think you are telling. That's all you are to her at the moment a penpal and not one she's willing to have an Oprah moment with.
Sending a bunch of flowers won't make her want to make you privy to the ins and outs of her business. Again as said before FSW aren't the same culturally, their not American/Western women wanting to connect with an emotional exchange of their problems at any given moment, even I know that ;D
Now whatever you do at this juncture I would seriously recommend in my opinion that above all - YOU DON'T SEND MONEY. Whether she ask you or not. If she asks you to send money to help with the cost of it, it's very bad news and undoubtedly a scam.
Certainly don't offer money to her for costs for her Mother's care either (assuming any of it is remotely true) that will totally screw up your chances of a relationship if you ever get to meeting her.
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I messaged her today and she told me that her family is going to Israel for finding a good doctor for her mom. I wanted to call her but she refused. I am worried about her mother and this whole situation. I feel bad because I told her that I am here for her but it just seems like she's treating me like I'm not someone that she trusts or confides in.
All this words are just western usual BS,"I told her that I am here for her"
No you are not here for her.
Not at all and you have already postponed a travel.
In FSU manhood, you have not been capable to do what you said. She is treating you very normally because you are not someone, you are just another Keyboard Romeo at this stage. Why would she trust you since she has never met you?
The western people are making a world about bla bla
While FSU people are making a world about real actions and camping in the reality.
Everything if fine, she treats you in the exact needed manner you deserve to be. You have NOT, even shown up.
Trust by internet? Are you kidding me? from a guy she has never seen and met.
You look upset because she is keeping her distance. What's important? What do you think?
But what you think is of no importance ... this is what SHE thinks that's important because it gives the level and the pace of your communication, love it or leave it.
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All this words are just western usual BS,"I told her that I am here for her"
No you are not here for her.
Not at all and you have already postpone a traveil.
In FSU manhood, you have not been capable to do what you said.She is treating you very normally because you are not someone, you are just another Keyboard Romeo at this stage. Why would she trust you since she has never met you?
The western people are making a world about bla bla
While FSU people are making a world about real actions and camping in the reality.
Everything if fine, she treats you in the exact needed manner you deserve to be. You have NOT, even shown up.
Trust by internet? Are you kidding me? from a guy she has never seen and met.
You look upset because she is keeping her distance. What's important? What do you think?
But what you think is of no importance ... this is what SHE thinks that's important, because it gives the level and the pace of your communication, love it or leave it.
Well said Pat, well said!! :cluebat:
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The reference to an Israeli physician suggests to me she is a scammer. Expect a request for money.
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The reference to an Israeli physician suggests to me she is a scammer. Expect a request for money.
Lol, yeah I was thinking the same, sets it up nicely for a, 'its going to cost this much! OMG how am I going to pay??? - unless????'
The whole Israel thing just seems an unlikely port of call to my mind.
How is it going with her RWO?
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The mom's health situation as well as the sudden going to Israel looking for doctors is very unexpected. What makes me feel even worse is that she has not been very communicative. She said they book a hotel in Israel for 3 nights and will make changes if needs be. Here are the people I think are going:. Her, her son, her mom, her sister and her sister's husband. Her mom has a friend in Israel that she's known for almost 30 years. She has not asked for help in going to Israel like airfare, hotels, etc.
Boe:. Can you be more specific? Is Israel medical visits always scams?
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The mom's health situation as well as the sudden going to Israel looking for doctors is very unexpected. What makes me feel even worse is that she has not been very communicative. She said they book a hotel in Israel for 3 nights and will make changes if needs be. Here are the people I think are going:. Her, her son, her mom, her sister and her sister's husband. Her mom has a friend in Israel that she's known for almost 30 years. She has not asked for help in going to Israel like airfare, hotels, etc.
Boe:. Can you be more specific? Is Israel medical visits always scams?
Not likely ask for air fare, she might but that she mentioned a physician suggests a likely lead into, 'we found out today my mother's medical expenses are going to be so much (shock horror!)' and then either asking directly or just waiting on the thinking that you'll offer. If you don't offer then either asking directly or she could keep impressing how much they cost and what a sticky situation they are in and unless her mother gets the treatment she's going to die!!!
Happens all the time, these sorts of set ups going over well trodden ground. They may vary slightly but it's pretty much all the same format. The old one was the asking of air fare money to come visit then when sent that's the last heard of the girl. The medical one features regularly to squeeze money out of guys. That she's dropped in going abroad for treatment means that in theory she's given herself license to ask for a lot.
The way guys get suckered in is that because they have communicated with the girl, particularly if by video chat and because the girl has been sooo sweet to them during video chat the guy really thinks the girl is into them and can't believe she would try to scam him. Odds are she's quite attractive looking so the guy doesn't want to believe that she is being anything other than telling the honest truth. The scam tends to put the guy in the position that if he feels anything for this girl which of course he does he won't want to let her down by not sending the money to show that he trusts her even if he is somewhat skeptical.
Everything tells me this is almost certainly a scam in play and I would be extremely surprised if it doesn't roar it's head very soon with the medical bill cost surfacing. Whatever you do don't ask about the cost of it all as although that's likely to surface I wouldn't do anything to make it a topic from your initiation.
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The wording that she messages me is "My mom is my life..."; "I am scared of what she will be facing"; "I am so scared to think about how she's going to cope". Since yesterday, my viber messages are just now 1 grey check Therefore, we are not talking with each other at all since yesterday. This tells me either....
1. She blocked me because she is a scammer and I have no made mention anything of financial/monetary support so she is now be done with me. In fact, she and I have had very limited texting back and forth the last week or so ever since she said about her mom is very sick.
2. She is really stressed out and don't want to talk to me (I am just, as so many of you call me, an online keyboard romeo) and has no time to deal with me because her mom REALLY is sick and she has no mood for online romance.
3. Again, her mom really is sick and that she actually went to Israel (I never confirmed the dates) and has no internet/mobile access but once she's back, she will have internet again.
Whatever the situation, I am just in waiting mode right now. Of course I pray for her and her mother that they will be ok. However, if she is scammer, I hope she blocks me indefinitely. I rather not talk to her ever again if she is a real scammer.
Given the situation above, I just want to list in detail of what I think are red flags but other signs that I think she is real:
Signs that she is real:
1. We video chatted. The pictures she sends me is really her. Some maybe older pictures because she looks a little younger in the pictures
2. She has not asked for money or any other support. Even when I wanted to get her flowers, she seemed hesitant but accepted after I keep asking to send her flowers. I received a picture from the courier and I received 3 pictures from her. 1 of the pictures is the note that I send her and the note is in front of the exact flowers that I sent her.
4. She has sent me mp3 songs that she listens to. This might seem non-supportive but to me it is. The music that she sent me are so beautiful. To me, this is a spiritual connection that no scammer would take the time to find good music and just sent it to someone online. I feel scammers would not waste that time.
5. She has not logged in on the online dating website where I found her for over 2 weeks now.
6. She has a child. I can only think that this might be the strongest sign that she is real. In fact, I talked with him on our second video chat (I just said hi and he said hi). I think someone like her wants a better life for her and her son and would rather find a husband/provider for long term than short term scam.
Red Flags:
1. The flowers I sent her, the courier texted me saying they had trouble finding the address. I texted her and she said to give the courier her phone number which I did. Afterwards, I contacted the courier and they said the address of which it was delivered was a different address. (However, I feel that this could be a non-issue: I've only known her for 1 month. Would a woman just give out her address like that? Did she even believed that I would of sent her flowers?)
2. Even though she has not logged in to that online website but she could have many other online profiles at other websites.
3. I've asked for her birthday a few times so I can get her birthday gift. She never gave it to me
4. As mentioned above, her mom's health and going to Israel is a little suspicious. The timing is just really weird.
I'm sure there are other red flags but those are the main ones right now. There are signs that i think she's real but then there are signs that are just suspicious. I want to call her out on a few things but I never mentioned it to her such as the address and her mom's sickness. I want her to show me documentation about her visit to Israel and maybe doctor or hospital documentation but I think that's a little overboard. Bottom line, what I know to be 100% truth is that there is no denying is that she is a real person and that she actually does live in Chisinau and she has not asked for money. I think if she is a scammer, she will start asking for money. Until then, I wait for her return and that I still plan to visit her in January.
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Yeah the whole Israel thing is very suspect RWO, FSW don't usually tend to up and start globetrotting. That all costs a lot of money and visa's and all sorts, a very few are wealthy enough but most aren't and in this case we have a single mother so I very much doubt she is. Single mothers don't get enough money from the gov to live on, so they are normally a burden to their wider family. Whether she really gets any money from the so-called ex-husband and whether he is still really in the frame who knows.
The odds are that she has just switched her mobile off to make it look authentic. You don't know for certain that her mum is alive or keeps contact or what, it's just her say so that she is in hospital, you never got to see any photos of her mum with the flowers or even the flowers at hospital bedside. If she is a scammer don't worry if she has to she will definitely ask for money outright. She has invested time with you and she's not going to let that pass. She thinks she's got you on the hook and is leaving you wriggling a little while before getting back to you.
I think you are doing the right by waiting and not calling her out on any off it. Just wait and see, a scammer always shows their hand at some point, she has too, she has no other choice than to make a play for it by first setting up the scene then if she has to asking for money.
My guess is that very soon you will see that she will play her hand.
I've no doubt she is real, there is a possibility that she might not have set out to scam but chose to when she thought you were wasting her time and lying to her about coming. If a guy says it's going to be six months or more many FSW won't think he is being truthful about visiting. Its why I'm not rushing to get messaging on FSU dating websites at the moment as timing is everything in FSU dating, too early and it can spell disaster. :trainwreck:
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Scammers.
Information on foreign men has been passed down to FSU gals from other FSU gals since at least the 1990s.
This is the same situation as info being passed along to members here on this forum.
So what have the FSU women learned over time regarding scamming foreign men?
1) Be careful in asking for anything of monetary value (especially actual cash) too early in the 'game.'
2) Do a lot of 'stuff' to build your authenticity credentials.
(Many here can identify specific items in this category.)
3) Many (most) western men (especially from USA) are such soft touches that you don't even need to ask them for help or money.
You simply give hints about problems you or your family are encountering . . . and the men will quickly offer to help.
4) . . .
5) . . .
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RWO,
you’re the captain of the Titanic who’s asking this board, “is my ship gonna sink”?
While the rest of us watched the National Geographic Special about the wreckage…
get a freakin little bit of EXPERIENCE with local dating FIRST
‘afore you get all carried away with your “fantasies” regarding the “easy availability” of caucasian pooty-tang
mamachika in Israel?
Then she’s at least partly a Galitzen Jew
a VERY clannish group to say the least
you are VERY far from being her “dream man”
and so…
she’s NOT REALLY that into you
and especially since you ain’t shovin out any “coins”
the biggest problem in this, isn’t her, it’s YOU!!!
not knowing WTF you’re doing!!!!
still lagging behind, thinking a binary is she a scammer/not a scammer
instead of “is she into me or NOT”
you’re doing EVERYTHING WRONG cuz you have no clue
I’d suggest learning how to get some
clues, that is…
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ML makes some good points RWO, a lot of experience gets handed down out there, those young pretty girls that were the scammers 15-20 years or so ago some will elevate to the equivalent position of Madam in a Brothel from a pro or the head hen of younger strippers in a strip club from being once a stripper herself. Alternatively the stories may be passed around among families, friends, relatives, etc even on forums, etc. As ML says the techniques evolve over time as the basic early stuff ends up getting too well known about, obvious and hence ineffective. A bit like here where you get a scam email pretending to be from someone who has inherited a lot of money, they just need a western guy to process the transaction, but will need your bank details first to do it! etc, etc. Over time scammers have to change their technique, sure if they bulk spam people one out of so many thousand will fall for it but after a while too few to none do so they have to evolve the scam quite naturally.
So yeah scammers in the FSU will have learnt to not ask for money directly, only as a last resort. They will have learnt to show their face in a video chat. They will have learnt to be warm and pleasant in that video chat to try to connect well. They will have learnt to not immediately play the scam but to wait a bit establishing trust then try for more money. They will have learnt not to be seen on dating sites after picking up their first prey and well on the way to a scam. They will have learnt to make the situation look authentic. They will have also learnt how to play with your emotions and to use emotion, etc, etc, etc.
They're essentially after making sure as best as possible that a scam works that they get their pay day which is what they are after. Earlier you were talking about dropping $1k to this woman, it's that sort of throwing money around that fuels the whole scamming industry and turns women who are interested in finding someone into scammers. Women in the FSU hear how easy it is to extract money from men and they all go out for easy pickings. It's why you need to keep your money in your pocket on this one until you learn to know the right way to deploy it as Krim does.
Anyhow I think you can hopefully now see why it's said to go out and meet the girl, leaving it a long while just encourages her to go into scammer mode if that wasn't her intention already. I think for your own benefit sit and wait for the reply, sed what she says so you can see how it all works from there you can learn and move forwards.
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The mom's health situation as well as the sudden going to Israel looking for doctors is very unexpected. What makes me feel even worse is that she has not been very communicative. She said they book a hotel in Israel for 3 nights and will make changes if needs be. Here are the people I think are going:. Her, her son, her mom, her sister and her sister's husband. Her mom has a friend in Israel that she's known for almost 30 years. She has not asked for help in going to Israel like airfare, hotels, etc.
Boe:. Can you be more specific? Is Israel medical visits always scams?
Israeli physicians (former Soviets or their children) set up private medical clinics in former Soviet republics after the collapse. These clinics have the latest technology, and are known for providing excellent quality care. So, someone claiming they are going to Israel for treatment just falls within the scammer textbook, and clumsily, at that.
I doubt this woman's mother is going to Israel. She could get the same care at a private clinic in Moldova, or Latvia/Lithuania/Estonia/Poland, unless she has some extremely rare disease.
The fact she isn't contacting you now may be because you haven't offered money.
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Boe: So, I was reviewing some pictures and videos on my viber chat with her. She did receive the flowers. The pictures she took with the flowers has the same background of a short video she sent me. Looks like her kitchen. According to her, her mom has some serious health issues in the past and recently, she is diagnosed with some other disease that can be potentially dangerous. My aunt died 4 years ago from stomach cancer. My aunt went to the doctors and they told her she had 3-6 months left without treatment. My aunt lasted a year even with aggressive chemo therapy. Before my aunt was diagnosed, she was overweight, bad diet, bad sleep schedule, stress, no exercise. I have seen pictures of her mom. She is somewhat overweight. So, I can imagine that her mom might have some serious health issues. I understand when you say there are clinics in Moldova; there are many clinics and hospital here in the US or any other country but sometimes you go to a different place because there may be Specialists or Experts that is more suited for specific conditions and sickness. I don't know all the details and I don't want to keep asking when she is telling me that she is so stressed out and is traveling to a different country. I already said what I think is happening right now when she is not communicating. I am just playing the waiting game. Let's see if she ever message me again in the next few days. She said she will be in Israel for at least 3 nights so with travel time maybe up to a week before I hear anything from her. If she truly is scammer, I hope I don't ever hear from her again.
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If she truly is scammer, I hope I don't ever hear from her again.
I find it perculiar that you keep saying that RWO. Trust me if she is a scammer she WILL be contacting you again. If she can't get you to stump at money at the outset she'll keep leaving opportunities for you to stump up the money. Then finally tired of all of that she's likely to set up an opportunity to ask you straight out for money stating the situation is desperate or something.
If she has decided she wants to scam you she won't be hitting mission abort. She has invested good time and effort talking to you and won't be wanting that to go to waste. For scammers it's often like their job, it would be like going home without her pay check after doing the work so no scammer is going to walk away without initiating the scam.
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Boe: So, I was reviewing some pictures and videos on my viber chat with her. She did receive the flowers. The pictures she took with the flowers has the same background of a short video she sent me. Looks like her kitchen. According to her, her mom has some serious health issues in the past and recently, she is diagnosed with some other disease that can be potentially dangerous. My aunt died 4 years ago from stomach cancer. My aunt went to the doctors and they told her she had 3-6 months left without treatment. My aunt lasted a year even with aggressive chemo therapy. Before my aunt was diagnosed, she was overweight, bad diet, bad sleep schedule, stress, no exercise. I have seen pictures of her mom. She is somewhat overweight. So, I can imagine that her mom might have some serious health issues. I understand when you say there are clinics in Moldova; there are many clinics and hospital here in the US or any other country but sometimes you go to a different place because there may be Specialists or Experts that is more suited for specific conditions and sickness. I don't know all the details and I don't want to keep asking when she is telling me that she is so stressed out and is traveling to a different country. I already said what I think is happening right now when she is not communicating. I am just playing the waiting game. Let's see if she ever message me again in the next few days. She said she will be in Israel for at least 3 nights so with travel time maybe up to a week before I hear anything from her. If she truly is scammer, I hope I don't ever hear from her again.
The average wage in Moldova is around US$500 a month. Surgery for complex procedures in Israel are US$15,000 and up.
It’s not logical to assume, even with family members helping, that someone from Moldova would go to Israel for treatment.
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Well Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I may have found the smoking gun in that this Moldovan girl is a scammer or at least is not 100% honest. I went back and read our monthly long conversation in Viber and back on July 13 which is about 3 weeks ago, we were talking about a lot of things. It was like a 3 hour back and forth conversation. It came down to this, we were talking about K1-Visa and I asked her about her ex-husband the boy's father and whether or not he has a say in him able to leave the country, etc. Anyways, that day's conversation, she actually deleted all her messages. But Viber doesn't delete if I specifically responded to any messages and one message that I responded to and is still in my Viber app and it says, "I cant even renew my passport for now..." That may or may not be the whole message but that's what Viber shows. It shows like the first sentence. So Immediately I was like WTF. Also, on July 15 (Again, she deleted her messages for that day), I saw another message that I replied to and she says, "We can meet in Europe". Now this message about meeting in Europe was just a message and I immediately said no to that because at the time, I was still waiting on my job telling me when I can start. I'd assume if she's real, she would of renewed her passport and we would plan to meet up whenever. The meet in Europe doesn't bother me as much but it's the "My mom is sick and we are going to Israel". She said that just three weeks ago, her passport is perhaps expired. It could also mean that her passport is expired and she doesn't have the extra money to renew her passport. How long does it take to for a Moldovan citizen to renew his/her Moldovan passport? I'd imagine at least a few months? Here in the US, it takes 3 months but it's probably even longer than that. So, how can she say on July 13, I can't renew my passport to July 27th saying, "I am going with my mother and son to Israel". Now, I did a very limited research but for Moldovans to travel to Israel, you do not need a Visa but you do need a passport. Now, I didn't find whether or not the passport requirement is needed if it's for medical reasons. However, I am pretty sure no matter what the reason, you need to present a valid passport to gain entry.
Based on this, I am pretty sure she is a scammer and did not have any real romantic interest in me. She has not turn her phone or internet back on or she just has blocked me outright. Today is the third day.
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With a WMVM approach, you don't ever have to worry about scammers.
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Well Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I may have found the smoking gun in that this Moldovan girl is a scammer or at least is not 100% honest. I went back and read our monthly long conversation in Viber and back on July 13 which is about 3 weeks ago, we were talking about a lot of things. It was like a 3 hour back and forth conversation. It came down to this, we were talking about K1-Visa and I asked her about her ex-husband the boy's father and whether or not he has a say in him able to leave the country, etc. Anyways, that day's conversation, she actually deleted all her messages. But Viber doesn't delete if I specifically responded to any messages and one message that I responded to and is still in my Viber app and it says, "I cant even renew my passport for now..." That may or may not be the whole message but that's what Viber shows. It shows like the first sentence. So Immediately I was like WTF. Also, on July 15 (Again, she deleted her messages for that day), I saw another message that I replied to and she says, "We can meet in Europe". Now this message about meeting in Europe was just a message and I immediately said no to that because at the time, I was still waiting on my job telling me when I can start. I'd assume if she's real, she would of renewed her passport and we would plan to meet up whenever. The meet in Europe doesn't bother me as much but it's the "My mom is sick and we are going to Israel". She said that just three weeks ago, her passport is perhaps expired. It could also mean that her passport is expired and she doesn't have the extra money to renew her passport. How long does it take to for a Moldovan citizen to renew his/her Moldovan passport? I'd imagine at least a few months? Here in the US, it takes 3 months but it's probably even longer than that. So, how can she say on July 13, I can't renew my passport to July 27th saying, "I am going with my mother and son to Israel". Now, I did a very limited research but for Moldovans to travel to Israel, you do not need a Visa but you do need a passport. Now, I didn't find whether or not the passport requirement is needed if it's for medical reasons. However, I am pretty sure no matter what the reason, you need to present a valid passport to gain entry.
Based on this, I am pretty sure she is a scammer and did not have any real romantic interest in me. She has not turn her phone or internet back on or she just has blocked me outright. Today is the third day.
Lol, yeah that makes sense, she's deleting her messages as she's c*cking up and sticking her foot in it. She keeps on saying stuff that undermines her story so if she keeps deleting most of her messages she avoids it being picked up upon. Either she's realized along the way that she's put her foot in it or she's had previous guys who have noticed so does it as a tactic to avoid tripping herself up on it again. However even the few messages she hasn't deleted it looks like she hasn't noticed and messed up. Truly a scammer with an ineptitude of making her messaging follow.
It's like is said most scammers usually show themselves up before long. She's still got to show her hand so I wouldn't mind betting she will be back in touch with the terrible need of her Mother's predicament lol. Only reason she might not is if she reads this website but that is unlikely as not many FSW know about it. For me the sudden conversation movement from, 'my mother is ill' to suddenly, 'and Isreal!' out of the blue rung alarm bells as it's pretty sporadic.
Might as well just kick back now RWO and see what she pulls out of the bag when she gets back in touch. Just use this experience to build upon and work on how better to approach your dating with another woman whatever you choose for on that.
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Hello Everyone.
This girl has since blocked me on Viber. Long story short, she told me her mom is really sick and that she is mentally and physically tired. She also said her whole family is going to Israel to find better doctors for treatment.
Here are a few things to know:
1. She's in Moldova and her viber number starts with +373 which is legitimately Moldova.
2. I video chatted with her twice
3. I sent her flowers and the pictures she sent me are the flowers that I bought and she also took a picture of the note. Because of this, I know she lives in Chisinau for sure, no doubt.
4. I have reversed image search some of the photos she send me through viber and nothing comes up. I even got a starter membership with SocialCatFish.com, I used TINEYE, and nothing comes up.
5. She has sent me pictures of her, her mom, and her son
6. She has never really asked for support directly. Even going to Israel (supposedly), she never asked for any financial help for airfare, hotels, etc
7. She has sent me short videos of her and pictures
8. When we first started talking/chatting, it was several hours a day, then it was down to a few minutes a day when she told me about her mom's health, and now she has for sure blocked me on Viber. I know this because it's just 1 grey check and that her profile picture is gone. The last few days before I was blocked, she did say that she was mentally and physically tired and that she was very worried about her mom. Additionally, she basically said she has no mood for romance and that she can't be distracted by anything else other than her mom's well-being.
9. One of the strange things I noticed was that she would delete some of our Viber conversations but not all. She has blocked me as I said, but some of the conversations are still readable.
10. I am not 100% sure she is divorced but she said that she has had no contact with the father of the child for about 6 years.
11. The last few texts that I sent her was that to be strong and that when she was ready I am here for her. That was 5 days ago.
Any opinion is welcomed. It's the same question: I just want to know if this person is real or is she a scammer? In my opinion, I can see she might be real but she might be a scammer. I really like her and I was hoping to visit her in a few months. I mean, why would a scammer video chat me, send me short videos and lots of pictures including her, her son, and her mother? Not to mention that I know for sure she lives in Chisinau. Isn't that overly exposing yourself? What if I post those pictures and video chats and warn people about her? If she is a scammer, why did she invested a lot of time with me but never ask for money or other types of support directly or indirectly? Her profile on the dating website is still up, she didn't block me on that site and it does show she has been inactive for about 3 weeks, which is about the time when she told me about her mother's health problems. Of course, she might have other online dating profiles.
I am just so frustrated about this whole situation because I thought I was like the luckiest guy in the world. I met a beautiful woman, in just a few days after I created my online dating profile, who I developed really strong feelings for in a short time because we are so compatible and had similar interests. I thought I was going to visit her and we would have strong chemistry and will become soulmates. I am still messaging her everyday to show support even though I know for a fact she has blocked me. What's the point some of you ask? To show support, because I am still holding out hoping she is real and that she will come back. Just 2-3 messages a day. For how long will I do this? I have no idea...
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She definitely was settling you up for cash. You failed the test because you didn’t send her any.
The fact you saw everyone is irrelevant. It’s to play on your heartstrings.
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Man, get over yourself. Sending all these messages to her and really falling for her. You have done because she is a pretty enough girl and she gave you airtime as said at the beginning. You're falling in love with a photo little more. Until you go meet a girl that's all it is for anyone, a photo. Don't fall in love with a photo of a pretty girl.
The answer to all of your questions RWO is that if the potential for a large payout for her is large then she won't mind sending you all that stuff/doing that stuff. It's just photos and info on her & her family it's no big deal, she could ask for thousands and may still do. If she gets the money then there is little recourse for you to get it back it's not the US out there, courts in Moldova, Ukraine, Russia, etc won't give a stuff, they along with Police etc will say you sent the money voluntarily and it will have been lost end off no chance of getting it back.
Possibly this FSW is playing hard ball and might unblock you and give you a sob story about what such a traumatic situation she is in. Possibly she might read these forums and know you have been alerted. I'm not sure why she hasn't gone for the jugular in at least hoisting out the, 'and we found my Mother's treatment is going to cost this $$$$ much!!!
Possibly the mother illness is just a get out for her as you didn't stump up upfront in terms of support with money and Boe suggests. Possibly she was hoping for more than just flowers and decided it was a waste of time trying for more. The deletion of her messages suggests to me that she might be an amateur at this, not much experience, messing up the story and only noticing after sending messages that she has fouled up and quickly moving to delete hoping to do so before you notice. She's probably heard how much money is possible to get by scamming foreign men, heard a few ways of how to go about it and thought give it a try. She may likely feel she has messed I up so badly, gotten so little and maybe fed up & possibly even stressed about it that she just threw in the towel and gave up. Possibly she was hesitant in accepting you sending flowers as she was hoping for money, etc instead and it may have been an unwanted inconvenience to her, hence the oddity over the address as she didn't really know what to do but probably didn't want to put down a real contact address but perhaps had no choice in the end? On that one few scammers will want their real address known by those they scam or are trying to.
The whole Mother and her illness just seems too much of a coincidence for me just as you happen to be messaging her. Who knows though perhaps she was working towards scamming and her Mother really did fall ill and realized that was more important than scamming. Israel seems suspect but I wouldn't really worry about that.
I think the main thing is to move on from this woman my thoughts are that she was an amateur hour scammer than messed up the whole thing bad. Remember this woman might not have had much experience with western men and/or scamming. Anyhow yeah I would take the experience gained then decide where you want to go from here, try for another FSW - probably best when time available to visit, try a South American woman, etc.
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Do only WMVM and you won't have to act like a 7th grade schoolboy who thought his date has taken a glance at another guy.
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dewd,
how many times does she have to tell ya, that she has NO INTEREST in you before you understand the message!!!
why are you so freakin "desperate" over this?
you need her for a kidney transplant or somethin'
if so, just get a daialysis machine...
jeez...
you need a dose of reality...
stop fantasizing about blond white girls
and get some experience and self-awareness
the fault isn't just the girl,
it's YOU
your whole approach
is based on a fantasy
and not reality
and you've grown confused over which is which...
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Hello Everyone.
This girl has since blocked me on Viber. Long story short, she told me her mom is really sick and that she is mentally and physically tired. She also said her whole family is going to Israel to find better doctors for treatment.
Here are a few things to know:
1. She's in Moldova and her viber number starts with +373 which is legitimately Moldova.
2. I video chatted with her twice
3. I sent her flowers and the pictures she sent me are the flowers that I bought and she also took a picture of the note. Because of this, I know she lives in Chisinau for sure, no doubt.
4. I have reversed image search some of the photos she send me through viber and nothing comes up. I even got a starter membership with SocialCatFish.com, I used TINEYE, and nothing comes up.
5. She has sent me pictures of her, her mom, and her son
6. She has never really asked for support directly. Even going to Israel (supposedly), she never asked for any financial help for airfare, hotels, etc
7. She has sent me short videos of her and pictures
8. When we first started talking/chatting, it was several hours a day, then it was down to a few minutes a day when she told me about her mom's health, and now she has for sure blocked me on Viber. I know this because it's just 1 grey check and that her profile picture is gone. The last few days before I was blocked, she did say that she was mentally and physically tired and that she was very worried about her mom. Additionally, she basically said she has no mood for romance and that she can't be distracted by anything else other than her mom's well-being.
9. One of the strange things I noticed was that she would delete some of our Viber conversations but not all. She has blocked me as I said, but some of the conversations are still readable.
10. I am not 100% sure she is divorced but she said that she has had no contact with the father of the child for about 6 years.
11. The last few texts that I sent her was that to be strong and that when she was ready I am here for her. That was 5 days ago.
Any opinion is welcomed. It's the same question: I just want to know if this person is real or is she a scammer? In my opinion, I can see she might be real but she might be a scammer. I really like her and I was hoping to visit her in a few months. I mean, why would a scammer video chat me, send me short videos and lots of pictures including her, her son, and her mother? Not to mention that I know for sure she lives in Chisinau. Isn't that overly exposing yourself? What if I post those pictures and video chats and warn people about her? If she is a scammer, why did she invested a lot of time with me but never ask for money or other types of support directly or indirectly? Her profile on the dating website is still up, she didn't block me on that site and it does show she has been inactive for about 3 weeks, which is about the time when she told me about her mother's health problems. Of course, she might have other online dating profiles.
I am just so frustrated about this whole situation because I thought I was like the luckiest guy in the world. I met a beautiful woman, in just a few days after I created my online dating profile, who I developed really strong feelings for in a short time because we are so compatible and had similar interests. I thought I was going to visit her and we would have strong chemistry and will become soulmates. I am still messaging her everyday to show support even though I know for a fact she has blocked me. What's the point some of you ask? To show support, because I am still holding out hoping she is real and that she will come back. Just 2-3 messages a day. For how long will I do this? I have no idea...
Guy you really need to relax. You want to know if she is real or a scammer?
You spent a lot of time investigating and reviewing everything, you spent hours to remind every details.
You have and you are concentrating a lot of emotionnal energy about what?
A fucking keyboard bla bla story. Worth of all of this = ZERO.
You are frustrated about what, a virtual pen pal story. You shouldn't.
I told you you made a ONE ITIS which is an absolute obsession about a possible relationship. A possible relationship is a fantasy.
You are living in a world of fantasy and you are still living in world of fantasy.
Why?
Because you continue to write her while she has blocked you. When a FSU woman has blocked you you are DEAD meat.
Fantasy is developping strong feelings for someone you have never met and create your own fairy tale that has no connection with the reality. The reality is that you are not capable to stand in the reality because you are not capable to meet her before the end of the year.
Just go and stop writing and you will avoid all this masturation in front of your screen which is worth of nothing and FACTOR number ONE for the success of the scam factory.
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If you want to avoid this, I advice:
1/ You choose a city
2/ When you are SURE and ready to go you buy the ticket
3/ you start to write to all girls that you are interested in in this specific location and you DON'T contact other girls
4/ you send a copy of your airfare and setup your appointments
And you will avoid all this shit and all this fantasy, scammers? zero. You will find some scammers later but that's another style of scams.
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Hello Everyone.
This girl has since blocked me on Viber. Long story short, she told me her mom is really sick and that she is mentally and physically tired. She also said her whole family is going to Israel to find better doctors for treatment.
I am still messaging her everyday to show support even though I know for a fact she has blocked me. What's the point some of you ask? To show support, because I am still holding out hoping she is real and that she will come back. Just 2-3 messages a day. For how long will I do this? I have no idea...
Don't worry about other men. If you get on a plane to visit her she
will dump them faster than cottage cheese with mold growing on it.
She's probably not a scammer. She is spending too much time with you.
If she agrees to video chat then you can be even more sure. If you worry
too much about scams you will lose good girls.
Waiting till Christmas is too long. Somebody else might decide to visit her
and you will be the one dumped like moldy cottage cheese.
Bill you're still in Texas aren't you???? :ROFL:
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Seriously though RWO, it may be simple as that, another guy may have just beat you too it. If so then she'll have blocked you as you're no longer relevant to her plus she'll won't want you showing up on her phone to the guy who 'has' got on a plane. It will merely disturb the... Ah.. argh.. Argh ... ARGH!!! yes.. Yes.. YES!!!!! More baby MORE!!!! :D
Odds are if it were a scam she would be surfacing like the Red October.
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Trenchcoat:. Anything is possible allbeit that she always told me she only communicates with one person or that she was only communicating with me. Her profile is still accessible but she has not logged on for 22 days now. However, I do know if a message is sent, she should receive by email that a message is sent. She has not responded and I am still blocked. Just makes me scratch my head that if she is a scammer, why doesn't she erase all messages and block me in everything. She is too exposed. So, even though I know red flags is starring at me, I am still holding out. Not until I am 100% sure...
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If I am certain she's a scammer, she's a scammer. I give women the benefit of the doubt 100% of the time.
Scamming is a numbers game. Scammers don't care if you have their name, or the way they tried to scam you. They're not concerned about exposure, because another sucker will fall for the same thing.
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Trenchcoat:. Anything is possible allbeit that she always told me she only communicates with one person or that she was only communicating with me. Her profile is still accessible but she has not logged on for 22 days now. However, I do know if a message is sent, she should receive by email that a message is sent. She has not responded and I am still blocked. Just makes me scratch my head that if she is a scammer, why doesn't she erase all messages and block me in everything. She is too exposed. So, even though I know red flags is starring at me, I am still holding out. Not until I am 100% sure...
I think the thing is RWO that the whole Mum is ill and needs to go to Israel for specialist treatment is either one of two things:
1). The perfect lead in to what is now a very used scam situation setup.
2). An excuse to stop relationship (albeit online) with you for whatever reason.
Neither of those two reasons give a happy outcome for you. Personally having tossed the possible reasons around in my mind I'm thinking it's now reason 2. It's probably not another guy, it might I wouldn't know for certain but I think Krim got it right when he said, 'she's really not into you'. That is unfortunate but it happens. I think she tired of the messaging with you and probably the whole International Dating game in general. I think any interest she had in you ran out of steam and decided that you didn't hit the mark. The delay of 6months before you meet meant that she would be messaging back and forth with you for quite some time and that was a commitment of time and effort she probably became not keen on.
Her hang up over you sending flowers may have been more that you offered rather than her wishing it. If she was moving towards a route out the flowers were probably wasn't something she wanted as she just wanted to get to the out. So the flowers wasn't something she really wanted tried dropping hint through showing not keen on it but in the end had to accept.
The deleting messages could be other reasons than a scammer messing up, it's a strange one but there could be a possible other reason. Possibly personal info or something that she later decided she would rather not have on record or something like that perhaps. The care and provide talk could have just been what she was hoping from any man she got with rather than an attempt to drive to scam. After all she has a child to look after in addition to herself. On top of that her family is in Moldova, she might have gotten cold feet over the whole leave them in Moldova & move to the US, it tends to be a big deal and not necessarily an easy choice to make.
So gone off you or an incompetent scammer? I'm thinking now it could just be she went off you. I think she would have tried to twist the vice to up an obvious but unsaid need to send money if she was after the money. That from what you tell us never happened. I'm doubtful if she would take this amount of time out before getting back in contact to try it on, she might but for all she knows you could just delete her and move on seeing her as not interested - then she's wasted a lot of time, effort and missed an opportunity for a payout.
So yeah I think she just lost interest if there was much there in the first place. I know it's not what you want to hear RWO but it happens. You've learnt a fair bit about FSU dating as a result so that's some useful stuff for the future. I still think a South American girl might be worth a thought over as like just said the distance to the FSU isn't just a potential issue for you but also for her.
The chances that something has genuinely happen to her mum, the whole Isreal thing and that she will get back in touch with you for genuine reasons is extremely remote to a non-starter I'm afraid. So unfortunately I really wouldn't get hung up on that but instead move onto a better situation.
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I appreciate the time that you guys took to respond to me. I think they are all wise words and I have taken them into consideration as well. Of course, my mind is racing and always thinking about the whole situation; is she a scammer or is she not? My newest theory is that she isn't a scammer because she is just too overly exposed. How can you chat with someone, telling them a lot about yourself, confirms that you are real through video chat and confirm that you actually live in Chisinau?
Second, I think she really is looking for a provider. I think any woman in her situation (living in Moldova, poorest country in Europe; having a child and mother to provide for) would be looking for someone real to provide for her financial stability. Maybe she was testing me the whole time whether I would provide for her and her family. In her mind, she just doesn't want someone who may or may not visit in January, who may or may not be a supporter/provider. She decided that maybe it's not worth her time to continue to communicate with me. Furthermore, I never said I was going to send money or that I was going to provide anything. She also never asked so maybe she just decided that I was never going to provide anything. Let's say going to Israel is made up and is just a test. Well, I failed because I didn't say I can help with finances so that ended for her and she believes I am not going to be a good provider. (if this is true then she is short sighted. I will and can be provider but only after our relationship gets to that point)
Third, her fdating.com profile is still up or that I can still see her profile. I have messaged her since on fdating.com but it shows that she has not seen the messages (She has not logged on for over 3 weeks). So, if you are a scammer and decided to block me then why not block everything? I also know that when a message is sent, that person gets an email with the message. So, if she is a scammer, she should block everything. If she forgot to block me, she definitely will block after receiving the emails. She still hasn't! Makes me really wonder that she might of really left the country and is 100% preoccupied with her mother's illness and treatment. Before I was blocked on Viber, she messaged me saying things like, "No mood for romance" and "doesn't want to communicate with anyone online". Maybe she did go off the grid because she was telling the truth. Which is why, I'm still messaging her. If she never comes back, I am just throwing pennies into a wishing pond. If she does come back, I did what I wanted to do, which is to support her no matter what.
If she comes back asking for money, then sure I know for sure she is just scamming for money. If she never comes back, I guess I'll never know for sure and move on.
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I appreciate the time that you guys took to respond to me. I think they are all wise words and I have taken them into consideration as well. Of course, my mind is racing and always thinking about the whole situation; is she a scammer or is she not? My newest theory is that she isn't a scammer because she is just too overly exposed. How can you chat with someone, telling them a lot about yourself, confirms that you are real through video chat and confirm that you actually live in Chisinau?
Second, I think she really is looking for a provider. I think any woman in her situation (living in Moldova, poorest country in Europe; having a child and mother to provide for) would be looking for someone real to provide for her financial stability. Maybe she was testing me the whole time whether I would provide for her and her family. In her mind, she just doesn't want someone who may or may not visit in January, who may or may not be a supporter/provider. She decided that maybe it's not worth her time to continue to communicate with me. Furthermore, I never said I was going to send money or that I was going to provide anything. She also never asked so maybe she just decided that I was never going to provide anything. Let's say going to Israel is made up and is just a test. Well, I failed because I didn't say I can help with finances so that ended for her and she believes I am not going to be a good provider. (if this is true then she is short sighted. I will and can be provider but only after our relationship gets to that point)
Third, her fdating.com profile is still up or that I can still see her profile. I have messaged her since on fdating.com but it shows that she has not seen the messages (She has not logged on for over 3 weeks). So, if you are a scammer and decided to block me then why not block everything? I also know that when a message is sent, that person gets an email with the message. So, if she is a scammer, she should block everything. If she forgot to block me, she definitely will block after receiving the emails. She still hasn't! Makes me really wonder that she might of really left the country and is 100% preoccupied with her mother's illness and treatment. Before I was blocked on Viber, she messaged me saying things like, "No mood for romance" and "doesn't want to communicate with anyone online". Maybe she did go off the grid because she was telling the truth. Which is why, I'm still messaging her. If she never comes back, I am just throwing pennies into a wishing pond. If she does come back, I did what I wanted to do, which is to support her no matter what.
If she comes back asking for money, then sure I know for sure she is just scamming for money. If she never comes back, I guess I'll never know for sure and move on.
On her being too overly exposed to be a scammer I 100 percent agree with Boethius that no scammer will care about that. That is a big issue you have to come to terms with as believing that could leave you vulnerable to a scammer from the FSU in the future. It's not like the scamming we get by email or phone telling us we need to give our details as our Bank Account has been hacked bs. No, FSW will actively engage the intended victim to gain their trust and emotional leverage. They lose nothing by exposing themselves as their is no comeback for them as the authorities won't do anything against them, the authorities won't want to know if you contacted them, they will see it as entirely 'your' fault - you have no recourse against them. Even a court of law out there won't support you, they will say you have the money voluntarily and you'll lose your case, more money wasted. You really need to understand FSU culture/countries on that one RWO it's a basic understanding of their mindset out there.
That she is a scammer is where I part from Boe, while I can't say 100 percent that she is not a scammer, I am now thinking having weighed it all up that she just wasn't that into you. I think for sure as said you're right in that she wanted a provider and that is an important point. Many women in the FSU I believe will be open to men they aren't all that into but if they are a good provider then they will accept getting with them and going along with him, especially if they are into their children (which most FSW are) and their well-being is at stake.
Anyhow that brings me to another point that I think you need to understand also when a FSW (perhaps any woman) is fobbing you off. Many a FSW will tell a Porkie when it comes to offloading a guy. I'm afraid that this is likely what is happening here. She doesn't want to turn around and tell you to your face that she isn't interested in you. She can likely tell how into her you are and it's a pain and awkwardness she would rather not have to deal with. Hence the sudden Mother's illness, Isreal, don't have time for internet romancing anymore. Odds are you're at the end of a string of internet communications with other guys who in one way or another wasn't what she was looking for, she'll potentially get guys who want her to do online nudity, talk dirty, etc, etc. Possibly she might return to her profile a few weeks/months later, delete her profile & do a new one or just forget all about it - an online profile is no biggie to her they don't necessarily place any value in it. So it's just easier to end the communication (and hence the online 'relationship') with you the way she has.
Which brings me to Fdate, if you haven't already realised Fdate has an option in settings that you can select to have a copy off someone's message sent to your email. Possibly it might come up when you register as an option to choose, can't remember now but possibly. Anyway so if she has selected this then she will be able to see the message you sent in her emails, read the message but not have to log in to see the message. I have used this feature myself as often I wish to read a girl's message without being under pressure or wanting/able to spend the time writing back there and then. If a girl sees that you have read the message but haven't replied and particularly if you do so regularly without a good reason then she might think she's not that important/you're not that interested or start to think you're busy with some other girl lol so can be bad for her to see that potentially, not always but safer to login when ready to respond I think without not logging in for a significant time also obviously as that could be bad for you also if she thinks you're not that engaged.
So she's either getting your messages and can't be bothered replying or she can't be bothered to log on and left it believing you will get the message in the end and will move on. Either way I don't think she has any interest communicating further with you having left you with the, 'I don't have any wish to do dating as preoccupied with Mother' storyline. Harsh but it happens.
So yeah lastly is the 'support' issue that you think you have supported her. On that one I am very much with what Pat said earlier. You haven't really supported her, our western concept of supporting a person is different to the FSU concept of supporting a person. FSU people don't do support in terms of talk or sending flowers that is not support for them like it is for us. Support for them is either financially supporting someone or being there with them, being physically on hand for them and to help them out with any problem. We have developed a very airy fairy view of what supporting someone is over time I feel.
I just think overall RWO is that you made a number of mess ups along the way - a lot of them are natural mess ups that many newbies make so don't worry. Reading up on FSU dating beforehand is handy and there is a sticky near the top of the main forum homepage in here that can tell you a lot. A lot is also gained through experience which entails as you have done making mistakes, learning from them and unfortunately missing out and messing up potentially good relationships along the way. That's a real bummer so wherever possible it's good to read up in advance of communicating with FSW rather than risk more relationships get messed up. I think your main mistake here was the six month time wait before visiting, unless a girl is very engaged with you it's just asking for all sorts of bad news. So timing is important in this venture, timing can be everything so that's something for you to move forward with I think.
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The free e-book advertised at the top of the Forum homepage here, entitled, 'Men of the West, Women from the East' is I think still a pretty decent read and worth a browse through:
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=47
Some of the other stuff here is a little more not so up to date so bear in mind it was advice given way back and stuff maybe different now. Some dating websites given aren't as good as they used to be. Some other advice goes back to when dating agencies (PPL - Pay Per Letter & Physical walk in agencies) were the main dating scene but no longer are or necessarily should be.
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When I mean support, I mean emotional and mental support only. I will not financially support anyone until I've met her, become a couple, and I am applying a K1 visa for her.
I can see what Trenchcoat and everyone else is saying that she was setting me up for money. I can totally see that could be the case. The longer she blocks me, the longer it makes me feel that she isn't real or that she is no longer (Perhaps never was) interested.
Thanks Trench, I read the information this morning and it's very interesting.
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When I mean support, I mean emotional and mental support only. I will not financially support anyone until I've met her, become a couple, and I am applying a K1 visa for her.
I can see what Trenchcoat and everyone else is saying that she was setting me up for money. I can totally see that could be the case. The longer she blocks me, the longer it makes me feel that she isn't real or that she is no longer (Perhaps never was) interested.
Thanks Trench, I read the information this morning and it's very interesting.
I don't know the FSW mentality in intimate detail but my thoughts are that emotional & mental support they may not go in for like it is in the west. A bit like when you said to her about your emotional/mental state during army training and she replied that she is not a Psychologist. She may not regard the situation as one where she looks upon you to fulfill the role she sees as a Psychologist filling. More than that she may not wish to tell some guy off the internet stuff she may regard as too personal and perhaps hence not appropriate. Others here will no doubt know more on that than me it's just how I envisage it likely is.
Anyhow, I think for sure now it's odds on that she just decided you weren't for her, it happens. A lot of weighing up can happen along the way and I think when she decides she wants out she closes it off.
I wouldn't worry about it too much anymore. Instead if still interested in going for a FSW in six months time spend that time putting yourself in a better position and not just financially, try and learn some Russian, learn about dating FSW, the basics when you meet and then any more advanced stuff. Then when you're much nearer the time to travel get your lady arranged and get on our there, good luck!
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I appreciate the time that you guys took to respond to me. I think they are all wise words and I have taken them into consideration as well. Of course, my mind is racing and always thinking about the whole situation; is she a scammer or is she not? My newest theory is that she isn't a scammer because she is just too overly exposed. How can you chat with someone, telling them a lot about yourself, confirms that you are real through video chat and confirm that you actually live in Chisinau?
Second, I think she really is looking for a provider. I think any woman in her situation (living in Moldova, poorest country in Europe; having a child and mother to provide for) would be looking for someone real to provide for her financial stability. Maybe she was testing me the whole time whether I would provide for her and her family. In her mind, she just doesn't want someone who may or may not visit in January, who may or may not be a supporter/provider. She decided that maybe it's not worth her time to continue to communicate with me. Furthermore, I never said I was going to send money or that I was going to provide anything. She also never asked so maybe she just decided that I was never going to provide anything. Let's say going to Israel is made up and is just a test. Well, I failed because I didn't say I can help with finances so that ended for her and she believes I am not going to be a good provider. (if this is true then she is short sighted. I will and can be provider but only after our relationship gets to that point)
Third, her fdating.com profile is still up or that I can still see her profile. I have messaged her since on fdating.com but it shows that she has not seen the messages (She has not logged on for over 3 weeks). So, if you are a scammer and decided to block me then why not block everything? I also know that when a message is sent, that person gets an email with the message. So, if she is a scammer, she should block everything. If she forgot to block me, she definitely will block after receiving the emails. She still hasn't! Makes me really wonder that she might of really left the country and is 100% preoccupied with her mother's illness and treatment. Before I was blocked on Viber, she messaged me saying things like, "No mood for romance" and "doesn't want to communicate with anyone online". Maybe she did go off the grid because she was telling the truth. Which is why, I'm still messaging her. If she never comes back, I am just throwing pennies into a wishing pond. If she does come back, I did what I wanted to do, which is to support her no matter what.
If she comes back asking for money, then sure I know for sure she is just scamming for money. If she never comes back, I guess I'll never know for sure and move on.
YES:
"Second, I think she really is looking for a provider. I think any woman in her situation (living in Moldova, poorest country in Europe; having a child and mother to provide for) would be looking for someone real to provide for her financial stability. Maybe she was testing me the whole time whether I would provide for her and her family. In her mind, she just doesn't want someone who may or may not visit in January, who may or may not be a supporter/provider. She decided that maybe it's not worth her time to continue to communicate with me. Furthermore, I never said I was going to send money or that I was going to provide anything. She also never asked so maybe she just decided that I was never going to provide anything. Let's say going to Israel is made up and is just a test. Well, I failed because I didn't say I can help with finances so that ended for her and she believes I am not going to be a good provider. (if this is true then she is short sighted. I will and can be provider but only after our relationship gets to that point)"
Your situation is an oxymoron: in her point of view, you should help but in practice, you shouldn't (anti scamming RULE number ONE).This is why the keyboard bla bla finds its liimitation. You should never profess a relationship or feelings and EXPRESS IT (typical western behavior). Better to explore likes and unlikes, daily life, expectations, goals, values, children etc...
NO:
"is she a scammer or is she not? My newest theory is that she isn't a scammer because she is just too overly exposed. How can you chat with someone, telling them a lot about yourself, confirms that you are real through video chat and confirm that you actually live in Chisinau? "
I share Bo's opinion. This idea of exposure is, sorry, but ridiculous. A woman is not exposed on the internet. She starts to worry when her family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors are involved, good luck to find them.
You are analyzing scammers (you never dealt with) comparing apples with apples. But scammers, the real ones, this woman has not proven she is one, don't have the same mindset as usual citizens. They don't see rules, they see opportunities, Truth and keeping your word make no sense for criminals, this is just a convention in the society that doesn't concern them.
The last thing that many westerners don't understand is that FSU countries are not ruled by western rules, but are ruled by their own rules. Additionally, many of them don't see any regulations from the USA or the EU in terms of law enforcement. So practically scammers can do whatever they want, often with the support of the local Police forces. Keep this in mind in the future.
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Last update: This will be my last update since this woman has not unblock me on Viber. In fact, I think the number on Viber is no longer working at all or she might of changed her number. Her fdating.com profile is since deleted. I asked someone to check but I decided to create a second profile and search her profile ID. It says profile not found. So, yes I believe that she was/is a scammer and was just trying to get money from me so she never was interested in me. Could her profile be taken down because maybe another man she was trying to scam reported her? Part of me wants to post all the videos, photos, and conversations to expose her and to ensure that other people does not fall for her scam if she has other online profiles. Part of me just don't care because I'm just hurting right now.
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The obsession is still continuing,
You don't have to publish anything because she has never asked you for some money explicitly. And you don't have any evidence ad hominem.
She could be one or she could not.
That's the flaws of this mindset: to have online feelings BEFORE meeting a real woman.
Correct your mindset and beliefs and stick to my previous post.
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Avoid heartache, trauma, disappointment, anguish, potential scammers, and 'Save the Maiden' syndrome.
WMVM.
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Last update: This will be my last update since this woman has not unblock me on Viber. In fact, I think the number on Viber is no longer working at all or she might of changed her number. Her fdating.com profile is since deleted. I asked someone to check but I decided to create a second profile and search her profile ID. It says profile not found. So, yes I believe that she was/is a scammer and was just trying to get money from me so she never was interested in me. Could her profile be taken down because maybe another man she was trying to scam reported her? Part of me wants to post all the videos, photos, and conversations to expose her and to ensure that other people does not fall for her scam if she has other online profiles. Part of me just don't care because I'm just hurting right now.
As an alternative narrative - she was contacted by a bunch of desperate losers who either came across as weirdos or straight up asked for her bust size and nude photos. Disappointed in the experience she deleted her profile. If she did discover a "normal" man she started communicating with him via "normal methods" which doesn't involve fdating.
In my first post in this thread I stated your mental state is such that you should not pursue international dating. You have confirmed this. Give it up and work on yourself.
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Guess what? She's backkkkkkkk
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Guess what? She's backkkkkkkk
In what capacity? In communicating with you? Or, just put herself back on the dating site?
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Guess what? She's backkkkkkkk
So are you going to tell us what the deal is here RWO???
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Nothing really. She messaged me out of the blue like a week ago but we don't really communicate anymore. She is still deleting messages/pictures a few minutes after she sent them. I don't think I'm going to pursuit this. I don't mind just having her as a friend.
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I don't mind just having her as a friend.
That's a total waste of time and that time is far better spent finding a
girl who totally wants the package that you've got.
OR you aren't being honest with yourself and you are still carrying a torch
for her.
What you need is a girl who wants you as much or more than you want her.
What you have is the opposite.
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Nothing really. She messaged me out of the blue like a week ago but we don't really communicate anymore. She is still deleting messages/pictures a few minutes after she sent them. I don't think I'm going to pursuit this. I don't mind just having her as a friend.
If she has you as a friend then she will have written you off for a relationship likely for good. Remember they don't do the friend thing like we do in the west it tends to be one or the other not really a fluid situation like we have as far as I have ascertained. Considering you have never met I wouldn't bother with being a friend. I think you would be better off not mentioning the friend notion at all. You might as well just let her communicate with you as and when in my opinion so you discuss like friends without tying it down to that. Then it always leaves it open to visiting her in the future. Time can go quick so we're like about five months from when you an meet a woman in the FSU now? That can go fairly fast and who knows if she is still hanging around in five months time why not visit? You might get a relationship out of it. If it doesn't work out call up other women, have a bit of a holiday, find out about FSU culture, whatever. Worth considering I think.
The deleting messages/pictures could be a bad reason or could be something perfectly simple like her wishing to have her security and privacy. She might but want done guy wandering around with her pic for god knows how long. She might have culture passed on to her from FSU times about trust issues, etc not trusting too much, etc. Probably at some point you'll find out why down the road and it could be somewhat eye opening in one way or another.
So I wouldn't stress or put too much stock in it all, let her play along and also contact other women along the way so you're not losing out in case she disappears again or turns out not to be the one for you. That would be my take on it all.
I don't think at this point she us a scammer not unless she asks you for money, something big, etc. I think she would have done that already if she was so you can probably relax there. Also if she is no longer pressing you then that's ok and like said just play it along in my opinion.
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Nothing really. She messaged me out of the blue like a week ago but we don't really communicate anymore. She is still deleting messages/pictures a few minutes after she sent them. I don't think I'm going to pursuit this. I don't mind just having her as a friend.
Deleting photos/messages on Viber after sending them to you?
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We talked sporadically these last 2 weeks. She deletes after sending them. Sometimes she deletes them Even before I had a chance to see what it was whether his messages or photos
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fugettabout "agencies" or "modem dating"
go straight to domestic sex slavery
just follow this simple gyuide
http://ukraine.welcome.us/
you're WELCOME!!
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Does anyone know about Veritas.world.com. Are they legitimate? Someone told me that they are applying on this website through a refugee program to come to the US. I just hope that they're not being scammed for their money
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We talked sporadically these last 2 weeks. She deletes after sending them. Sometimes she deletes them Even before I had a chance to see what it was whether his messages or photos
Maybe so her husband doesn't seem them. She may be in a boring relationship and simply looking for entertainment.
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Well Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I may have found the smoking gun in that this Moldovan girl is a scammer or at least is not 100% honest.
It's really, really weird that you are so paranoid and keep looking for something,
anything that this girl is a scammer.
Why is that? Do you secretly think that you don't deserve a good girl?
That if a pretty girl likes you then there is something wrong with her?
STOP IT!
Your indecisive, suspicious personality wrecked any possibilities with
this girl. If you wanted to get on a plane and visit her, you might have
had a chance, but you make excuses for why you can't go. FSUW want
a man of action. They want you to get on a plane, seduce them, f#ck
them silly and win their heart. That's what she really, really wanted.
That's what they all want. What part of that do/did you NOT want?
All you had to do was to get on a plane and not act like a beta boy.
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Maybe so her husband doesn't seem them. She may be in a boring relationship and simply looking for entertainment.
That I think is probably the best explanation yet RWD. I now don't think she deletes them as any attempt to scam RWO she would have done that already if she wished. The reasons she deletes could be for a thousand reasons but I think your suggested reason sounds pretty plausible. Possibly it might not be the husband but local guys she dates. Many western guys think that FSW sit around pinning for them while they aren't around but let's face it there are plenty of guys at hand locally probably not good wealthy options but options that are to hand where as many western guys are not. So who is she going to go for? She has no assurance RWO is going to visit so why pass over on the local guy? - the old a bird 🐦 in the hand better than two in the bush being appropriate here. Better that she doesn't discount local guys who may support her in case the western guy doesn't come through for her and is all talk as western guys are probably often known for.
I mean pretty girls are known for having many options of guys and this one is pretty enough I reckon even with a kid.
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Thinking some more on this one apart from possibly a few casual short term hook ups she might have possibly she might just one long term relationship locally not with the father of the child but another guy. Think of the scenario that a pretty girl has a child with a guy she thinks is the guy for her or for whatever reason. That guy then subsequently finds that he can't support the child long term and trying is too much of a strain/ordeal for him in an economically poor country. Anyhow whatever the reason he buggers off and the immediate recourse the pretty girl is left with is to look around quickly for a local guy who can pick up the tab often in exchange for a relationship with sex included. The pretty girl doesn't have a lot of choice in this as the money she will get from the government is so low and would then have to rely on her family which isn't great for them. She knows she has pretty enough looks to hook a guy on this basis so its often likely easy enough. However, as a woman aged her looks only last so long and guys interest dwindle with it. So cue then fears of cat food eating in her old age that Krim tells us about and more immediately being left high and dry to bring up a child.
The international option of course gives such a girl the way out to 'trade up' to a guy who is wealthy and can afford to give her a much better standard of living, problem solved. I think RWO got the impression early on that some guy may be knocking around with her though I'm thinking more probably not the father but another guy. Again it could be anything without firm evidence it's mere conjecture but I think RWD's point is a logical one that fits with FSU society. She is probably being honest enough in terms of saying that the father is out of the picture, FSW can be quite honest I think but they often don't give you the whole picture I think.
RWO just out of interest did she ever tell you what happened about the whole 'Isreal' and her mother situation?
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She didn't say much about Israel when I asked her. She did say her mother had surgery. But we don't talk like we did before. In fact, last time we messages each other was over a week ago. I think this one is a lost cause. I am just not as interested in her as I was before.
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She didn't say much about Israel when I asked her. She did say her mother had surgery. But we don't talk like we did before. In fact, last time we messages each other was over a week ago. I think this one is a lost cause. I am just not as interested in her as I was before.
Think that's the danger with a long run up to a meet up as it can kind of run out of steam. Some FSW I get the impression aren't really into discussing much at all before a meet up as they've learned/heard about all the western guys who rabble on and it leads to nothing so they don't wish to waste the time. It's not always keyboard Romeo's but some guys just prefer another woman so drop a woman off conversation after a time or they don't feel the woman is a good fit from what she tells them.
So it kind of takes interest from both parties or possibly keep it rumbling on until a meet up. That's still going to be some time as likely at least four months away as I understand. At least she's calmed down and away from all the present sending I guess now I assume.
One thing you can do if you wish to try to improve the situation is to open up your side of your life. That's not always every guys cup of tea but it has worked well for some members here as they tell it. It's basically a case of showing the girl around your house, home town, possibly leisure activities etc and also your daily life through video chat on your mobile or whatever. Not just video though but also telling her of stuff happening in your life, nothing necessarily too deep that she thinks you need a psychologist ;D but day to day stuff. In that way she gets absorbed into our life and fees he knows you so when you meet it's not just a face value judgement she places on you. No assurances it will work of course but some members here have done such and feel that it has helped. Generally I think it just helps a girl to relate to you better and that helps her warm to the guy potentially I think.
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I got her flowers, balloons, and chocolate for her birthday but the florist said she never showed up. We were supposed to call each other but she stop responding. I'm kind of worried actually.
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I got her flowers, balloons, and chocolate for her birthday but the florist said she never showed up. We were supposed to call each other but she stop responding. I'm kind of worried actually.
And we are kind of worried about you.
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I got her flowers, balloons, and chocolate for her birthday but the florist said she never showed up. We were supposed to call each other but she stop responding. I'm kind of worried actually.
You are chasing this woman. Were she NOT a scammer, this kind of shit would absolutely, 100% run her right out of your life. In your mind, you are being romantic and caring.. in her mind it may be time for a restraining order. Joking aside.. you'll never get anywhere this way. Don't do ANYTHING for her -- nothing. Walk away. If you get the urge to contact her, then slam your dick in the sliding glass door. If SHE contacts you again, then play it cool, just chit chat for a minute or two -- NO romantic gestures -- and leave her wanting more.
Notice that when you CEASED chasing her before -- suddenly she's baaaaaaak!
And we are kind of worried about you.
I'm more dumbfounded. ;D :popcorn: :popcorn: