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Author Topic: A Ukrainian woman in limbo  (Read 15901 times)

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Offline xiphoid

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A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« on: April 10, 2016, 10:30:36 PM »
I need advice for a friend. Through my friends living in another state Oregon, I met their friend, a divorced Ukrainian woman that is in the legal process of getting her immigration papers, green card etc. Soon she will have to pay for a medical physical as well. Unfortunately she has no money for lawyers and physical exam so she must wait a very long time in line to complete the process. My friends and the UW live in a very small rural community with limited resources so she is unable to earn cash money until she is legal to find a regular job. Her current living situation is safe but very stifling and uncomfortable. So what does a divorced foreign bride typically do for money after she divorces an abusive husband while waiting to become a legal resident?  My friends and I discussed the idea of me putting her up at my place for a few months or more due to a better chance at earning some money in a larger city. I have spare rooms in my house that I do not use. At the very least she can attend a language and culture school here where I live. Eventually she would return back to Oregon because she loves the area and wants to eventually settle down there when all is said and done. So how can I help?
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Offline alex330

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2016, 11:43:22 PM »
Whether she is a citizen or not yet the State will help provide for her and fast track her citizenship. It will be very tough for her but many women are able to pull through. Contact local and State agencies for lifelines. It may be easiest if she stays in her current State where she has already established residency.

We know several RW who have gone through this. Pretty common with foreign women unfortunately.

Most FSUW will jump to another man for support or struggle and find success on their own.

Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2016, 11:45:00 PM »
A very tricky situation.

While I applaud your potential generosity, it does seem slightly "white knightish."  Any UW living in the USA for any length of time (as this one appears to have done) will surely have developed their own circle of friends.  Are none of them outside her village and able to offer any assistance to the woman in question?

Offline xiphoid

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2016, 03:10:12 AM »
She has only been in the US since last May. Her only real friend is originally from Moscow and is married to a local American man. Otherwise she is alone. This friend from Moscow is one of my best and dearest friends and I hold her in high esteem and for this reason I am willing to help, if I can.
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Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2016, 05:00:32 AM »
She has only been in the US since last May. Her only real friend is originally from Moscow and is married to a local American man. Otherwise she is alone. This friend from Moscow is one of my best and dearest friends and I hold her in high esteem and for this reason I am willing to help, if I can.

If I understand you correctly, she has been in the USA for less than a year, and is already getting divorced from her American husband?  I see that divorce in Oregon can take as little as two months, which seems incredibly quick, so presumably she has now completed the process (or is very close to doing so).

Have you yourself met this woman?  If not, perhaps you should.  That would certainly help you to decide whether or not to offer her a room in your home.  You obviously trust your Moscow friend implicitly, but you need to know what sort of landlord-boarder chemistry there is between you and this other woman before even thinking about letting her into your home on a semi-permanent basis.  Think of it as interviewing a potential flatmate who comes with good references.

You never know - your reaction to her could be anywhere between  :barf: and  :couple:.  That should give you enough of an insight to decide whether or not to proceed.

Offline GuppyCaptain

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2016, 05:07:18 AM »
Help her out if you so feel like it. The biggest thing I'd be careful of is any potential legal ramifications if she "went crazy" while living with you and also I'd make sure that you had a "trigger" for her to move out and not take advantage of your generosity. For example, three months after starting to legally work she'd agree to find her own place. Good luck.

Offline Shadow

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #6 on: April 11, 2016, 05:55:46 AM »
Stay well clear of her.
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Offline BillyB

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2016, 06:37:37 AM »

The only way she can stay in America being married so short of a time to her husband is through a domestic violence charge. You mentioned she was a victim of domestic violence. If she's a good woman, you can help her. If she filed a false DV charge on her husband to get right to stay in America quickly, you too can be a victim of false DV.


You ask how she can get money? Her husband filed an affidavit of support which isn't always enforced. A judge should determine she is not employable and should make the husband pay support for a very long time until she gets her green card and be able to support herself on her own. Divorce can take up to a year to finish. Is she currently seeing an attorney and getting in front of a judge during this process? There are also shelters for battered women that know what to do to get her help.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline fathertime

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #8 on: April 11, 2016, 06:43:10 AM »
My view is in the same vein as AK, and Shadow....I'd find out more information about this individual before inviting her into your home.  If indeed you decided to help, I would consider setting up strict parameters that you are comfy with...i.e.  housework, financial contribution to the household by X date.  You are still being helpful as you are giving her a safe place to get situated.  A signed month to month rental agreement.  Sometimes it is very difficult to get somebody the hell out of your house once they are in.  She is probably a good woman if your trusted friend is vouching for her, but she still may have some annoying traits that you would rather live without. 


Good luck with it. 

Fathertime! 
« Last Edit: April 11, 2016, 07:04:05 AM by fathertime »
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline BillyB

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2016, 06:52:54 AM »
Sometimes it is very difficult to get somebody the hell out of your house once they are in. 



It can take months worth of notices of eviction and then one needs to see a judge to get the right to have a officer come over to escort the person out of the house.


If she's the type of person that will threaten false DV charges to get her way, she may threaten to evict Xiphoid temporarily with a 911 call.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline jone

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #10 on: April 11, 2016, 08:07:17 AM »
The first acronym many Eastern European women learn is VAWA.  It is unfortunate, but true.

No matter what your decisions are, you are taking her at her word, yet, you readily admit you know next to nothing about her.    I would never open up my home to such a woman without knowing who she is, why her marriage failed, what her plans are, etc.

Shadow is correct.  Stay well clear of her.  You are mixing wishful thinking with a woman's march to US residency.

You want to help?  Contribute money to a hotel room.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2016, 08:10:18 AM by jone »
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline ML

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #11 on: April 11, 2016, 08:16:36 AM »
Whether she is a citizen or not yet the State will help provide for her and fast track her citizenship.

Never heard of this.  There are year requirements that need to be met for citizenship.  Varies between married to USA persons and others.

Just how do you think this 'fast tracking' works and do you have references to websites that discuss it?
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline jone

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #12 on: April 11, 2016, 08:20:31 AM »
VAWA has provisions to finish out citizenship if it is found that a woman suffered spousal abuse.  I don't know if such provisions are completed faster or not. 
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline alex330

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #13 on: April 11, 2016, 08:35:47 AM »
Never heard of this.  There are year requirements that need to be met for citizenship.  Varies between married to USA persons and others.

Just how do you think this 'fast tracking' works and do you have references to websites that discuss it?

My wife's Aunt married a scumbag here in the US that beat her. She lived in her car with two children and worked two jobs while the State helped fast track her citizenship. Both children are now adults, her son serving in the US Navy and her daughter serving for the State prosecutors office.

Another woman we know here locally had the same thing happen with her abusive husband. She is jumping guy to guy trying to land someone.

My wife's good girlfriend here had the same thing happen with a POS up in NY. She now sells securities and makes 200k a year.




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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #14 on: April 11, 2016, 08:36:44 AM »
VAWA has provisions to finish out citizenship if it is found that a woman suffered spousal abuse.  I don't know if such provisions are completed faster or not.

I have read/heard from numerous sources that they do fast track residency/green card for victims of spouse abuse. I've heard that for years actually.

Xiphold, you'd better damn well know this woman before inviting her into your home. I see nothing wrong with helping her out with set parameters if you "know" her. Inviting a stranger into your home is surely inviting disaster. Bottom line is, you are making your friends problem into your problem. I'd suggest she stay at the friends at least until she has a green card

Offline alex330

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #15 on: April 11, 2016, 08:40:44 AM »
I could be wrong on the citizenship versus permanent residency, but they definitely fast track the immigration process and stabilize the women. The three we know went through this.

Her best support and source of info is probably the Russian women's forums tbh...
« Last Edit: April 11, 2016, 08:42:54 AM by alex330 »

Offline alex330

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #16 on: April 11, 2016, 08:54:10 AM »
Never heard of this.  There are year requirements that need to be met for citizenship.  Varies between married to USA persons and others.

Just how do you think this 'fast tracking' works and do you have references to websites that discuss it?

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/when-vawa-green-card-holders-can-apply-us-citizenship-naturalization.html

Fast tracked 3 yrs versus 5 for VAWA.

Offline BillyB

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #17 on: April 11, 2016, 08:59:02 AM »
Xiphoid, I dated an RW in the States who once had her nose broken by her ex RM husband during one of many beatings she endured. After getting to know her well, I had no fear being in the same house with her. She was a kind lady. Most FSU women would never think about filing a domestic charge on you if you are not guilty. The FSU woman in question is on track to stay in America legally. She doesn't need you for a green card so the chances of a false charge filed against you is really low but there is always a chance with someone you don't know.

Another reason not to have the lady stay with you is if you are pursing other women. You would have to put your life on hold if you have this lady in your house. Jone mentioned "Wishful thinking". You may have it but this woman shouldn't be looking for love at the moment. She needs help. Any romantic ideas should not factor into your decision on whether to allow her into your home.

At a minimum, you can help by calling your city hall to learn about the resources in the city that can help women of domestic violence. There should be shelters for her to stay at. Find out about her divorce proceedings. How can she move to your city if she has to finish the divorce process in her city? She giving up without asking for support? She can get an attorney and her husband will have to pay for it. If her husband is guilty of DV, he needs to pay support to her for a long time so the lady doesn't have to use social programs on our dime.

This story is another example on why both men and women should get to know each other well before marrying.

Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline ML

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #18 on: April 11, 2016, 09:55:08 AM »
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/when-vawa-green-card-holders-can-apply-us-citizenship-naturalization.html

Fast tracked 3 yrs versus 5 for VAWA.

OK, it was the word 'fast tracking' that puzzled me.

I understand the 5 year vs 3 year time periods.

All persons married to USA citizen can get Citizenship in 3 years; so that's standard for that category, not any fast tracking.

Also, I don't think the 'State' gets involved in helping with this.  Federal USCIS handles all cases of Green Cards, etc.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2016, 09:59:15 AM by ML »
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Offline alex330

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #19 on: April 11, 2016, 10:47:20 AM »
Also, I don't think the 'State' gets involved in helping with this.  Federal USCIS handles all cases of Green Cards, etc.

The local and State agencies definitely act as a liaison to help battered women in the process. The actual green cards, etc  are of course handled by the appropriate agencies.

Offline jone

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #20 on: April 11, 2016, 11:05:41 AM »
It is more than wishful thinking to take a woman's side of the story without hearing from the man or at least a neutral third party.  Too many times men want to take the word of the woman, because she is in some distress and in a foreign land, etc.  But either she is working the guy or she is a babe in the woods.  Either presents grave problems. 

The third option, which is the one every one expects to be true, is that she went into a marriage without knowing what the guy was capable of, and, therefore was totally unaware that he could commit violence on her. 

But in my limited exposure to these situations, I find options one and two far more prevalent.

No matter what the circumstances, having a woman in any of  the three situations, living under your roof,  presents problems that no one should voluntarily undertake.  Keep her at arms length. 

Remember, if she is a battered woman, she is in NO condition to begin another relationship.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline jone

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #21 on: April 11, 2016, 11:08:31 AM »
My wife's Aunt married a scumbag here in the US that beat her. She lived in her car with two children and worked two jobs while the State helped fast track her citizenship. Both children are now adults, her son serving in the US Navy and her daughter serving for the State prosecutors office.

Another woman we know here locally had the same thing happen with her abusive husband. She is jumping guy to guy trying to land someone.

My wife's good girlfriend here had the same thing happen with a POS up in NY. She now sells securities and makes 200k a year.

Psst..... Could you get me her full name and phone number?
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Slumba

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #22 on: April 11, 2016, 11:51:10 AM »
Most likely there is a one-page form she can fill out for APL or "alimony (support, really) pendente lite". This basically means "support while litigation is ongoing".  If not that, there will be something else of a similar name and purpose.
Me gusta ir de compras con mi tarjeta verde...

Offline xiphoid

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #23 on: April 11, 2016, 01:33:58 PM »
I should have mentioned this before but yes I have met her on two separate occasions and stayed in the same house that she is currently living in along with the owner of the house - during my visits to Oregon. I had some good conversations with her during these times. BTW she is unaware of this plan as my friend and I are still only discussing it at this stage of things. Better not to mention it to her until I decide to actually go through with it.
Beautiful girls, won't you walk a little slower, when you walk past me? - Robert Goulet

Offline HoundDaddyLee

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Re: A Ukrainian woman in limbo
« Reply #24 on: April 11, 2016, 01:57:02 PM »
Psst..... Could you get me her full name and phone number?


Back off California boy...  ;D  j/k


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