Is my Russian wife cheating on me or am I overreacting?

[hiii98]

Your Question
is my russian wife cheating on me?
Lately i've had a odd feeling my russian wife is cheating on me or at least hiding something from me. I dont speak russian and she just left for the weekend to visit her russian guy friends. I found this message on my computer from her to them. Long story short i want to be able to trust her and I hope someone can translate this letter and let me know what she is saying and if i'm overreacting.


19:19:04 bla bla bla
19:19:23 pomnish, ty u menya vsegda vinovat
19:19:55 gde seychas?
19:19:58 doma?
19:20:01 spish?
19:21:13 zasnul vchera v mashine, ne razbudit, ne poproshalis
19:21:25 ona shyfruetsya
19:21:26 est
19:21:32 u mneya
19:21:36 menya
19:22:08 pokinula, tebya tankom ne razbudish, zasnul, raskinulsya vo ves rost
19:22:39 pyan'
19:23:27 kakih vpechatleniy?
19:24:23 s toboy razgovarivat - vse ravno, chto golovoy ob stenku bitsya- odin effect
19:24:50 nikogda pryamo ne otvechaesh
19:24:58 vsegda razmyto kak-to
19:25:25 pravilno, von pohodite s oley v klub pofotkaysya
19:25:31 vystav fotki
19:26:12 dazhe esli ona zahochet vernutsya, vse ravno rano ili pozdno tebya opyat brosit
19:26:28 tak chto dumay golovoy
19:27:01 hochetsya verit, chto est chem
19:27:03
19:27:34 o, dim, platye moe ostavila u martynova doma
19:27:49 tolko kupila v Akire vchera
19:28:50 priezzhayte, muzh uedet skoro v utu, tak chto budu odna
19:29:34 chto o
19:30:06 hot tub(e)
19:30:10 umnik, hahah
19:30:42 a tebe lizhby buhat
19:30:48 zavyazyvay
19:32:00 ya v dells hochu, v waterpark
19:33:00 hochu v waterpark
19:33:38 shut up
19:34:18 eto ty mne?
19:34:23 sam biatch
19:35:35 podseli k sebe roommate, devushku kakuyu-nit
19:36:37 von marinka ishet zhilye opyat
19:36:54 marinka zahochet
19:37:17 a pochemu normalnaya ne zahochet? 1 bedroom? ty na divane budesh
19:38:00 ya tebe tut miss wisconsin nashla, ona zahochet
19:40:22 nu togda ishi sam krasivuy
19:42:05 chto eto znachit? ya tebe nayti dolzhna? chtoby esli chto, ya vinovata ostalas
19:42:17 net, spasibo
19:42:28 ty luchshe ishi, a ya otsenivat budu
19:43:17 pochemu?
19:43:38 kstati, fotki ty eshe ne udalil, ya ih mogu videt
19:43:47 tyazhelo, dimochka, da?
19:43:49 =)
19:44:58
19:45:50 "Zabey na chest, dengi vazhnee" - kruto
19:46:04 osobenno fotk
19:46:09 8A
19:46:58 LADNO, POBEZHALA POKURU POKA CUSTOMERS NET
20:38:20 slushayu poshla ty na....
20:38:50 mama pozvonila nervy mne poportila ((
20:41:22 chto ne izmenilos?
20:41:44 ya ne dumayu, chto ona ochen odobryaet moy brak
20:42:57 govorit kultury raznye
20:43:20 koroche, ne ey sudit
20:44:37 ladno, ty budesh v skype pozzhe?
20:45:03 ok, ttyl, u mneya seychas nastroeniya net

[hiii98]

20:46:57 Eto ya, dobav menya. Ira
20:47:43 ne beri durnogo v golovu i tyazhelogo v rot
20:47:54 davay, pozzhe poobshaensya

i should also add that i've tried all the online russian to english translators and they dont work.  I assume because the text is written which english characters rather than russian letters.

I'm curious what the summary of the conversation holds not a word by word translation

we've been married for a year now and have a 1 year old son.  Lately i just feel like something has changed in her... I really hope i'm wrong and overreacting.

[JR]

She just left for the weekend to visit her Russian guy friends....

Sorry but are you sure the child is yours? Did she leave the child with you? There is so much wrong with this.

[hiii98]

yeah i had to stay home with our child all weekend while she spent the night partying with her "guy friends"...  till 10am then came home sunday night drunk after being dropped off from chicago to wisconsin by the same men who so kindly (hmm) drove her up here after she missed the last bus back home..

Just my alarms are going off and I dont want to be played for a fool.

I'm not the jealous type anymore, i just have a million opportunites in my own personal life to be with other people but i've been 100% faithful to her (i used to have a bad track record BEFORE i met her, 3 years ago).

[Ravens9273]

I found this translator that may help. I tried some of the sentences you posted and it translated 90% of it.

Although these online translations can lead to false representations and possible conclusions should not be solely based on these translations but rather get the opinion of a professional.
I say this because the sentences I did translate using the translation I am showing you does not look too good.
Maybe you will understand better.
However they do have the word hot tub in english in this discussion. Unless you just bought one this is concern.
One sentence I translated came out to this

приэзжаыте, the husband will leave soon in уту so I shall be one
This sentence had happy face at the end.

But I still recommend you get professional translation. I do not want you to have wrong impression from false interpretation.

http://translation2.paralink.com/Russian-English-Translation/

To add. One sentence in conversation was translated as this. It was sentence that had 1 bedroom in it.

And why нормалная will not want? 1 бедроом? You on a sofa будеш

Now in this sentence someone mentioned the other being on a sofa. So this looks like it could be a friend.

[Muddy]

Re: Is my Russian wife cheating on me or am I overreacting?
I dont speak russian and she just left for the weekend to visit her russian guy friends.

 

[Ravens9273]

I looked over several sentences. As mentioned before not the best translations and I could be wrong but it does seem to me from what I have seen to be friendly conversation. There is talk of another girl etc...
But my guess is not cheating. It seems like friendly tak to me.

[Muddy]

20:46:57 Eto ya, dobav menya. Ira
20:47:43 ne beri durnogo v golovu i tyazhelogo v rot
20:47:54 davay, pozzhe poobshaensya

i should also add that i've tried all the online russian to english translators and they dont work.  I assume because the text is written which english characters rather than russian letters.

I'm curious what the summary of the conversation holds not a word by word translation

we've been married for a year now and have a 1 year old son.  Lately i just feel like something has changed in her... I really hope i'm wrong and overreacting.

Get a russian keyboard for her, makes it easier for you
a keylogger like this records every activity on your pc http://www.relytec.com/keylogger.htm

[I/O]

I don't want to be played for a fool.

You are.  Whether or not she is bumping loins with others in the process is anyone's guess but given what I have seen it is on the more likely side of possible than the unlikely side. You've got a crap load of issues to sort out and the sooner you face that, sit her down and have a blunt discussion the better.

Leaving you (or her if it was you) at home with a young child whilst spending the weekend partying on and arriving home drunk is not acceptable marital behaviour in my view. We'll hear a million excuses but bad behaviour is bad behaviour and altogether it demonstrates zero respect for the marriage. If it was my Mrs, she'd be on her bike to who the hell cares where with my number 10 boot fair up her arse. BTW, I'd expect her to treat me the same if I pulled a similar stunt.

[JR]

yeah i had to stay home with our child all weekend while she spent the night partying with her "guy friends"...  till 10am then came home sunday night drunk after being dropped off from chicago to wisconsin by the same men who so kindly (hmm) drove her up here after she missed the last bus back home..

Just my alarms are going off and I dont want to be played for a fool.

I'm not the jealous type anymore, i just have a million opportunites in my own personal life to be with other people but i've been 100% faithful to her (i used to have a bad track record BEFORE i met her, 3 years ago).

A mother abandoning her one year old child to go party with other men? You don't want to be a fool? Too late, you are a fool.

[CallMeSasha]

hopefully a fluent russian speaker can help you here.

it could all be innocent - does she have female russian friends or are these the only russian friends?

have you met these guys? if not why not ask to meet with them if you can find a baby-sitter

also you mention you saw a change in your wife - this could be innocent. for the first 3 years of being married my wife was so westernized that she even started to lose her natural ability to speak russian, she then took a new job involved her language, spent more time with russian friends (she would rarely go out with me prior to this) and enjoys watching any old crappy DVD as long as it's in russian. what i'm trying to say is perhaps she was losing touch with her russian identity & the change you've seen is her trying to re-connect with her identity?

[Ade]

I would generally agree with IO here regardless if she's cheating or not.

I had my wife to translate this; this conversation at least does not indicate any cheating, just banter between friends. She (your wife) is even suggesting other  women for him - one of her women friends of hers is looking for a place to stay and she suggests she can share his apartment. There's a part where she tells him of a conversation with her mother and apparently her mother doesn't fully approve of your marriage because of cultural differences but your wife says it's not her place to make these decisions for her.

Hope this helps a little.

[CallMeSasha]

i meant to ask earlier - how often is she going out late/all weekend?

[Yulianna]

19:19:23 You know,you're always give an impression of guilty.
19:19:55 Where are you now?
19:19:58 At home?
19:19:01 He slept yesterday in a car,I could't wake him up,even didn't say goodbye

[Yulianna]

19:21:25 she is hiding
        :26 there's(there are)
        :32 I have
        :36 Me
        :08 It's difficult to wake you up even with the help of tank;laying on the bed for all the height
        :39 drunkard
        :27 What are your impressions?
        :23 To talk with you is like to listen to the radio-the same effect!

[Yulianna]

19:24:50 You never answer bluntly
19:24:58 Always smth incomprehensible
19:25:25 Nice,you can take Olya to the club and make pics with her
19:25:31 Show your pics
19:26:12 Even if she would like to come back to you,anyway,sometimes she will tell you goodbye again.

[Aloe]

it is nearly impossible to comprehend this without seeing which person wrote which line, at least mark them with n1 and n2, everyone who is trying to translate is not doing a good job cuz they are mostly guessing who is talking

[Yulianna]

19:19:04 bla bla bla
1)19:19:23 pomnish, ty u menya vsegda vinovat
1)you say you are always guilty
2)19:19:55 gde seychas?
2)Where are you now?
3)19:19:58 doma?
3)At home?
4)19:20:01 spish?
4)Sleeping?
5)19:21:13 zasnul vchera v mashine, ne razbudit, ne poproshalis
5)He just slept yesterday in a car,I couldn't wake him up,even didn't say goodbye
6)19:21:25 ona shyfruetsya
6)she is hiding
7)19:21:26 est
7)there is(there are)
8)19:21:32 u mneya
8)I have
9)19:21:36 menya
9)Me
10)19:22:08 pokinula, tebya tankom ne razbudish, zasnul, raskinulsya vo ves rost
10)It's difficult to wake you up even with the help of tank;laying on the bed for all the height
11)19:22:39 pyan'
11)drunkard
12)19:23:27 kakih vpechatleniy?
12)What impressions?
13)19:24:23 s toboy razgovarivat - vse ravno, chto golovoy ob stenku bitsya- odin effect
13)To talk with you is like to listen to the radio,the same effect
14)19:24:50 nikogda pryamo ne otvechaesh
14)You never answer bluntly
15)19:24:58 vsegda razmyto kak-to
15)always smth incomprehensible
16)19:25:25 pravilno, von pohodite s oley v klub pofotkaysya
16)Nice,you can take Olya to the club and make pics with her
17)19:25:31 vystav fotki
17)Show your pics
18)19:26:12 dazhe esli ona zahochet vernutsya, vse ravno rano ili pozdno tebya opyat brosit
18)Even if she would like to come back to you,anyway sometimes she will tell you goodbye
19)19:26:28 tak chto dumay golovoy
19)So use your head
20)19:27:01 hochetsya verit, chto est chem
20)I'd like to believe that you have your head for thinking
19:27:03
21)19:27:34 o, dim, platye moe ostavila u martynova doma
21)Dima,I left my dress at Martinov's house
22)19:27:49 tolko kupila v Akire vchera
22)I've just bought it at Akira's yesterday
23)19:28:50 priezzhayte, muzh uedet skoro v utu, tak chto budu odna
23)You can come to me,my husband going somewhere soon
19:29:34 chto o
19:30:06 hot tub(e)
19:30:10 umnik, hahah
24)19:30:42 a tebe lizhby buhat
24)You always thinking about alcohol
19:30:48 zavyazyvay
19:32:00 ya v dells hochu, v waterpark
25)19:33:00 hochu v waterpark
25)I want in waterpark
19:33:38 shut up
19:34:18 eto ty mne?
26)19:34:23 sam biatch
26)dont call me bitch
27)19:35:35 podseli k sebe roommate, devushku kakuyu-nit
27)Take someone who will live with you in your apartment
28)19:36:37 von marinka ishet zhilye opyat
28)Marina is looking for a flat,you can take her
19:36:54 marinka zahochet
19:37:17 a pochemu normalnaya ne zahochet? 1 bedroom? ty na divane budesh
19:38:00 ya tebe tut miss wisconsin nashla, ona zahochet
19:40:22 nu togda ishi sam krasivuy
29)19:42:05 chto eto znachit? ya tebe nayti dolzhna? chtoby esli chto, ya vinovata ostalas
29)What do ypou mean?I have to find pretty girl for you?No,I don't want to be guilty then!
19:42:17 net, spasibo
19:42:28 ty luchshe ishi, a ya otsenivat budu
19:43:17 pochemu?
19:43:38 kstati, fotki ty eshe ne udalil, ya ih mogu videt
19:43:47 tyazhelo, dimochka, da?
19:43:49 =)
19:44:58 
19:45:50 "Zabey na chest, dengi vazhnee" - kruto
19:46:04 osobenno fotk
19:46:09 8A
19:46:58 LADNO, POBEZHALA POKURU POKA CUSTOMERS NET
20:38:20 slushayu poshla ty na....
30)20:38:50 mama pozvonila nervy mne poportila ((
30)my mum called me and changed my mood((
20:41:22 chto ne izmenilos?
31)20:41:44 ya ne dumayu, chto ona ochen odobryaet moy brak
31)I don't think that she is approve on my marriage
32)20:42:57 govorit kultury raznye
32)she says our cultures are different
33)20:43:20 koroche, ne ey sudit
33)anyway she can judge me
34)20:44:37 ladno, ty budesh v skype pozzhe?
34)Will you be in skype later?
35)20:45:03 ok, ttyl, u mneya seychas nastroeniya net
35)No,not now,I am not in a mood

[BC]

Get a russian keyboard for her, makes it easier for you
a keylogger like this records every activity on your pc http://www.relytec.com/keylogger.htm

Of course installing such a program is not illegal, just as installing file sharing programs.

How the acquired information is used, may be illegal.

Overhearing a conversation or as in this case stumbling across chat logs is probably not illegal, again though, use of that information, even posting it on this board may in itself be of concern.

As far as whether or not she is cheating, a native RU speaker said the chat was probably just, well, chatting with nothing with enough substance to back a cheating claim.

The best thing that the OP could probably do is maybe talk with his wife about her behavior and his concerns.. raising the issue of this chat would probably be seen quite negatively..  At this point he distrusts her and she trusts him.. If they both can't trust each other there is not much to base a relationship on.  A tailspin certainly will ensue.

Collecting such 'evidence' just might also raise the issue of abuse.

I suggest the OP simply forget about the chat and work on his relationship instead.

[Aloe]

19:19:04 bla bla bla
1)19:19:23 pomnish, ty u menya vsegda vinovat
1)you say you are always guilty
Remember, you are always guilty in my eyes
2)19:19:55 gde seychas?
2)Where are you now?
3)19:19:58 doma?
3)At home?
4)19:20:01 spish?
4)Sleeping?
5)19:21:13 zasnul vchera v mashine, ne razbudit, ne poproshalis
5)He just slept yesterday in a car,I couldn't wake him up,even didn't say goodbye
(hard to say if this is a male speaking about himself, or its somebody else talking about some guy)
He/I fell asleep in the car yesterday, impossible to wake him/me up, didnt say good-bye
6)19:21:25 ona shyfruetsya
6)she is hiding (something?)
7)19:21:26 est
7)there is(there are)
8)19:21:32 u mneya
8)I have
9)19:21:36 menya
9)Me
10)19:22:08 pokinula, tebya tankom ne razbudish, zasnul, raskinulsya vo ves rost
10)It's difficult to wake you up even with the help of tank;laying on the bed for all the height
(This sentence does not make any sense)
left (as in she left someone or some place), even a tank wont wake you up, he/you fell asleep,  laying in full height
11)19:22:39 pyan'
11)drunkard
12)19:23:27 kakih vpechatleniy?
12)What impressions?
13)19:24:23 s toboy razgovarivat - vse ravno, chto golovoy ob stenku bitsya- odin effect
13)To talk with you is like to listen to the radio,the same effect
Talking to you is like banging your head on the wall, same effect
(its a russian saying, meaning something is completely useless)
14)19:24:50 nikogda pryamo ne otvechaesh
14)You never answer bluntly
You never give a straightforward answer
15)19:24:58 vsegda razmyto kak-to
15)always smth incomprehensible
always something vague
16)19:25:25 pravilno, von pohodite s oley v klub pofotkaysya
16)Nice,you can take Olya to the club and make pics with her
Correct, come with Olya to the club to make pics (of her/him - unclear if this sentence is directed to a guy or a girl)
(Olya is a female name)
17)19:25:31 vystav fotki
17)Show your pics
Post pics
(doesnt say what pics)
18)19:26:12 dazhe esli ona zahochet vernutsya, vse ravno rano ili pozdno tebya opyat brosit
18)Even if she would like to come back to you,anyway sometimes she will tell you goodbye
Even if she will want to come back, sooner or later she will dump you again anyway
19)19:26:28 tak chto dumay golovoy
19)So use your head
20)19:27:01 hochetsya verit, chto est chem
20)I'd like to believe that you have your head for thinking
19:27:03
21)19:27:34 o, dim, platye moe ostavila u martynova doma
21)Dima,I left my dress at Martinov's house
22)19:27:49 tolko kupila v Akire vchera
22)I've just bought it at Akira's yesterday
23)19:28:50 priezzhayte, muzh uedet skoro v utu, tak chto budu odna
23)You can come to me,my husband going somewhere soon
Come over, my husband is going to Utah/utu soon, so i will be alone
19:29:34 chto o
what ??
19:30:06 hot tub(e)
??
19:30:10 umnik, hahah
smartass, hahah
24)19:30:42 a tebe lizhby buhat
24)You always thinking about alcohol
You just wanna drink (alcohol)
19:30:48 zavyazyvay
quit it
19:32:00 ya v dells hochu, v waterpark
25)19:33:00 hochu v waterpark
25)I want in waterpark
i wanna go to dells, to waterpark
19:33:38 shut up
19:34:18 eto ty mne?
are you talking to me?
26)19:34:23 sam biatch
26)dont call me bitch
you are a biatch yourself
27)19:35:35 podseli k sebe roommate, devushku kakuyu-nit
27)Take someone who will live with you in your apartment
Get a roommate, some girl
28)19:36:37 von marinka ishet zhilye opyat
28)Marina is looking for a flat,you can take her
Marina is looking for a place to live again
(Marina is a female name)
19:36:54 marinka zahochet
Marina will want
19:37:17 a pochemu normalnaya ne zahochet? 1 bedroom? ty na divane budesh
and why wont a normal girl want? 1 bedroom? you will be on the couch
19:38:00 ya tebe tut miss wisconsin nashla, ona zahochet
I found miss wisconsin for you, she will want
19:40:22 nu togda ishi sam krasivuy
well then look for a beautiful one yourself
29)19:42:05 chto eto znachit? ya tebe nayti dolzhna? chtoby esli chto, ya vinovata ostalas
29)What do ypou mean?I have to find pretty girl for you?No,I don't want to be guilty then!
What does this mean? I have to find one for you? So that if something happens, i will be the one to blame?
19:42:17 net, spasibo
no, thank you
19:42:28 ty luchshe ishi, a ya otsenivat budu
Its better if you look yourself, and i will rate (them)
19:43:17 pochemu?
why?
19:43:38 kstati, fotki ty eshe ne udalil, ya ih mogu videt
By the way you didnt delete the photos, i can still see them
19:43:47 tyazhelo, dimochka, da?
its tough, Dima, isnt it?
19:43:49 =)
19:44:58  
19:45:50 "Zabey na chest, dengi vazhnee" - kruto
"Forget honor, money is more important" - thats cool
(quoting something most likely with sarcasm)
19:46:04 osobenno fotk
especially the phot(o/os)
19:46:09 8A
19:46:58 LADNO, POBEZHALA POKURU POKA CUSTOMERS NET
Ok, im gonna go have a smoke, while there is no customers
20:38:20 slushayu poshla ty na....
listen, go to hell
(addressed to a girl)
30)20:38:50 mama pozvonila nervy mne poportila ((
30)my mum called me and changed my mood((
my mom called, made me upset
20:41:22 chto ne izmenilos?
what, (it?) hasnt changed?
31)20:41:44 ya ne dumayu, chto ona ochen odobryaet moy brak
31)I don't think that she is approve on my marriage
i dont think she approves of my marriage
32)20:42:57 govorit kultury raznye
32)she says our cultures are different
(she) says the cultures are different
33)20:43:20 koroche, ne ey sudit
33)anyway she can judge me
she cant judge me
34)20:44:37 ladno, ty budesh v skype pozzhe?
34)Will you be in skype later?
35)20:45:03 ok, ttyl, u mneya seychas nastroeniya net
35)No,not now,I am not in a mood
talk to you later, im not in the mood right now

Oh my, Yulianna, no offense but this was not a very good translation, perhaps you should learn english a little more before you offer your translations, because in some places your translation was absolutely wrong
i put my translation in red. The whole conversation looks like the poster ripped out some phrases here and there because there is a lot of random unrelated to each other phrases next to each other

[GoodOlBoy]

Your Question
is my russian wife cheating on me?

Welcome to RWD Hiii98.

I have a couple of questions, if you don't mind.

What is your age? Hers?

Where and how did you meet her (here in the GoodOl' USA or in the FSU?/internet?)

What kind of education/job did she have, when you met her?


GOB


FWIW....If you really don't have any deep seeded "trust" or "jealousy" issues and you think she is cheating on you because of a "sudden" change in her behavior towards you and your marriage.......then you are probably correct.

[Doll]

I don't think she is cheating.

[Aloe]

I don't think she is cheating.

i dont think so either, i think they go out to get drunk, hence the you fell asleep talk
i also have an idea, this conversation is probably all her, and the guy was answering with voice on skype, until the end where he told her to go to hell because she hung up to talk to her mother, thats why the sentences dont make any sense or order

[docetae]

Same opinion here. But she is definitely not happy and this is more than time to invite her for a supper at one good place (neutral ... don't talk at home) and to ask her why she is acting like that (coming back drunk late..). You will decide what you will do after but you definitely need to talk together first.

[GoodOlBoy]

I don't think she is cheating.

i dont think so either,....

Just curious ladies, please "quantify" your interpretation of the word "cheating"?

The "Bill Clinton" explanation?  :evil:........or......"Physical contact" of any kind? 


GOB