It appears you have not registered with our community. To register please click here ...

!!

Welcome to Russian Women Discussion - the most informative site for all things related to serious long-term relationships and marriage to a partner from the Former Soviet Union countries!

Please register (it's free!) to gain full access to the many features and benefits of the site. Welcome!

+-

Author Topic: new guy here  (Read 12715 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline KevinP

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1
new guy here
« on: October 19, 2014, 12:00:08 PM »
New guy here. What is the appropriate and realistic age range for a woman if I'm 47? Not wanting a 20 something but I do want younger. I'm a young minded guy. Most people think I'm mid 30's. Is a 30 year old very realistic for me or is that too young?

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2166
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: new guy here
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2014, 12:50:52 PM »
Welcome to the forum, Kevin.

True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Offline Anotherkiwi

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4089
  • Country: nz
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: new guy here
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2014, 05:16:29 PM »
New guy here.

 :welcome: Kevin!

What is the appropriate and realistic age range for a woman if I'm 47? Not wanting a 20 something but I do want younger...Is a 30 year old very realistic for me or is that too young?

What's the difference between a 20 something and a 30 year old?  Seriously?  It probably depends on whether you want children or not.  If not (as you possibly have them already?), then look for someone who is no more than ten years younger than you (and preferably a bit less - i.e. aged 40 or more).  There are thousands of drop-dead gorgeous single (or divorced or widowed) women in this age group who speak fluent English (assuming that you ARE looking in the FSU), so you should have no trouble finding one who ticks all your boxes (as you do hers).  If you DO want children, then 30 is probably the absolute minimum age you should look for, but anything is possible.  The other option, of course, is a ready-made family, but those can be fraught with unforeseen difficulties as a couple of members have recently found out.

I'm a young minded guy. Most people think I'm mid 30's.

Please, no - not another one!  :cluebat:  Don't be fooled by what people say, or by what you think when you look in the mirror.  Look for someone who is appropriate to your real age, not for what you may perceive.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck in your endeavours.

Offline fathertime

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9287
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: new guy here
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2014, 05:42:50 PM »
New guy here. What is the appropriate and realistic age range for a woman if I'm 47? Not wanting a 20 something but I do want younger. I'm a young minded guy. Most people think I'm mid 30's. Is a 30 year old very realistic for me or is that too young?


30 year old IS obtainable. Even younger is possible.  My thoughts are as follows:  It depends on what you are REALLY looking for...If you want a woman that is 'forever' then going a little older is better odds.  It always depends on the two individuals involved...think about yourself, and what you bring to the table and what you are willing to tolerate. 


Fathertime!
I just happened to be browsing about the internet....

Offline southernX

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 933
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: new guy here
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2014, 10:26:37 PM »
New guy here. What is the appropriate and realistic age range for a woman if I'm 47? Not wanting a 20 something but I do want younger. I'm a young minded guy. Most people think I'm mid 30's. Is a 30 year old very realistic for me or is that too young?

welcome kevin p

i agree with AK , young minded or not mate your 47, no matter how you think you look etc etc

my advice is be realistic , dont get caught up in the hype of the bs that goes around about the big age gaps, yes some do work ,but there not the norm ime

would you date and marry a girl of 30 in your home country/state city ? .. probably not

there are lots of girls in the 34-37 age range that might want to have a child if thats your agenda , that age gap is more realistic , if its not about having more children , then id look at 36+

honestly the more work you do on yourself , know what makes you tick and what/who /why/ you want  a relationship the better your chance of success

keep it real mate  ;)

SX
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Offline Mila

  • Commercial Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 144
  • Country: ua
  • Gender: Female
    • Mila-interpreter.com
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: new guy here
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2014, 01:51:20 AM »
Hi KevinP,


You should definitely be realistic, as very big age difference is not appropriate in our countries. If you look at the local married couples over here, you will not see age difference at all or very very little. I agree, international dating has some differences, but to some extend.  There are some exceptions, when couples have very big age gap, but usually it is not a healthy relationship and will never last long time.


By the way, you should take into consideration a baby factor, as it is rather important. So, here is what I would recommend:


-if you are 47 y.o. and you wish to have a child with your future wife then you should look for a lady who is 32 y.o. up to 35 y.o.

-if you are not planning to have a baby, then up to 40 y.o.


To my mind, you should be more concentrated on inner world than on age, as person's heart and soul is much more important than age or hair color. Try to look deeper and feel with heart who can be more suitable or not, true love is what matters...


Good luck!


 



« Last Edit: October 20, 2014, 01:53:58 AM by Mila »

Offline CDW

  • Opted-Out
  • *****
  • Posts: 1045
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Other Eastern Europe
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: new guy here
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2014, 06:02:53 AM »
Kevin Pietersen

Welcome to Forum (or WTF for short, lol)

I am 46 years old and look very young for my age, say 30.  But I don't look for any women younger than 30 nor am looking for a "trophy" wife!!   Some women in 30s do have young at heart.

Best of luck in yuor search ;)
I am an X-MEN called "WOVO Man"

Offline Lily

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2838
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Female
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking > 5 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: new guy here
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2014, 12:43:34 PM »
New guy here. What is the appropriate and realistic age range for a woman if I'm 47? Not wanting a 20 something but I do want younger. I'm a young minded guy. Most people think I'm mid 30's. Is a 30 year old very realistic for me or is that too young?

As a woman, I believe that this is not the question to ask. Aim for the best that you can!
The thing is to determine what is the best for you. A woman does not consist of her age only. In a person, the age changes all the time, every year, you know  :D :D :D It is the whole package that you want.

My advice would be, know yourself, know the strenghts and weaknesses of you as a whole package. Think of what you can offer to a woman. Think of a class of women that you want, and think of what a woman of that class can offer you.

Last but not least, try not to think about the age at all. If someone mentions that he or she looks/acts younger, this often is not accepted well, and does not speak well of the person. If you want to play this card, don't mention it - just illustrate it with a photo or video of yourself. Let the audience judge by themselves. ;)
Da, da, Canada; Nyet, nyet, Soviet!

Online tfcrew

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5325
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • North Texas
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: new guy here
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2014, 12:49:09 PM »
 :welcome: In the Soviet days, it was not uncommon for the wife to be older.
Maturity is best defined by action. Study carefully.
~There is no one more blind than those who refuse to see and none more deaf as those who will not listen~

Offline Lily

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2838
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Female
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking > 5 years
  • Trips: Resident
Re: new guy here
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2014, 01:24:51 PM »
:welcome: In the Soviet days, it was not uncommon for the wife to be older.
Maturity is best defined by action. Study carefully.

Really? where does the information come from?

I observed the opposite. Have not heard about any couples from the Soviet times with the woman older even for a few days. Harder times, less freedoms, less flexible mindset.
Da, da, Canada; Nyet, nyet, Soviet!

Offline BillyB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15568
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
    • Good Story
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: new guy here
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2014, 01:42:25 PM »
Aim for the best that you can!



I agree. If Kevin aims for mediocrity, he will probably achieve his goals and in that case, it's not a good thing unless one of his goals in life is mediocrity. The age of a woman may reflect on her maturity but it doesn't necessary reflect on her quality.


 Kevin should write a bunch of ladies. Men chase women but women choose the man. Kevin will quickly learn what kind of women respond to his initial introduction. They could be of various ages but any one of them responding will at least be beautiful to Kevin's eyes. He should then get on the phone/Skype with them to find out which women he can have pleasant conversations with and later make his decision on who to visit.
Do your part to limit the spread of COVID-19

Online Gator

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16857
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: new guy here
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2014, 05:48:39 PM »
KevinP,

 :welcome:

Lilly gives you some great advice.

As a woman, I believe that this is not the question to ask. Aim for the best that you can!
The thing is to determine what is the best for you. A woman does not consist of her age only. In a person, the age changes all the time, every year, you know  :D :D :D It is the whole package that you want.

My advice would be, know yourself, know the strenghts and weaknesses of you as a whole package. Think of what you can offer to a woman. Think of a class of women that you want, and think of what a woman of that class can offer you.

Last but not least, try not to think about the age at all. If someone mentions that he or she looks/acts younger, this often is not accepted well, and does not speak well of the person. If you want to play this card, don't mention it - just illustrate it with a photo or video of yourself. Let the audience judge by themselves. ;)

IMO the greater the age disparity, the greater the risk of failure.  If you are willing to accept the possible downside consequences without complaint, then pursue a younger woman.   I add that the younger the woman the more time you need to spend with her before deciding about marriage. 

Because the odds will be against you, be sure to pursue only women who speak English well, eliminating some of the fog that comes naturally with intercultural relationships. 

Online tfcrew

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5325
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • North Texas
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: new guy here
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2014, 09:03:46 PM »
Really? where does the information come from?

 

Not uncommon means not unheard of.
My wife's Mom was a year older than her Dad.
I'll go by what she says about others.



Now a days its celebrities ..............
http://allrus.me/russian-celebrities-unequal-marriages/

~There is no one more blind than those who refuse to see and none more deaf as those who will not listen~

Offline notforone

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 37
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Married 5-10 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: new guy here
« Reply #13 on: October 22, 2014, 04:58:48 PM »
New guy here. What is the appropriate and realistic age range for a woman if I'm 47? Not wanting a 20 something but I do want younger. I'm a young minded guy. Most people think I'm mid 30's. Is a 30 year old very realistic for me or is that too young?
Something's not right. I'm exactly the same age like you and I look my age. I can get women younger than me in the US of A, 30's not 20's. If you look 15 years younger, then you'd be able to do even better! Why would you even want to get involved in this?

I was married for seven years to a UW 16 years younger. I went back a few months ago for a gorgeous UW with about the same age difference. When I go back again, I am targeting at least 20 years younger. No reason to go there if it is not for great looks and much much younger woman.

And don't be fooled, there is no evidence to suggest that if you marry older woman, you will not get a divorce. If you want to play it safe, then don't get married, just go there, have some fun, come back, lather, rinse and repeat. Great times, many opportunities currently if you can travel!

Offline Boethius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2166
  • Country: 00
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: new guy here
« Reply #14 on: October 22, 2014, 05:59:38 PM »
Not uncommon means not unheard of.
My wife's Mom was a year older than her Dad.
I'll go by what she says about others.



Now a days its celebrities ..............
http://allrus.me/russian-celebrities-unequal-marriages/


My MIL is older than my FIL, and by more than a few years.  However, she married after the war.  She was also a stunning beauty, movie star beautiful, and FIL was the epitome of an alpha male, and pursued her relentlessly.  We also had a neighbour there who married a woman 22 years his senior.  His mother was very upset, but once they married, she eventually calmed down.


As for the celebrity couples, I don't think a beard is really a good example to which to point.



True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Offline mroz87

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 46
Re: new guy here
« Reply #15 on: October 30, 2014, 12:01:12 PM »
Something's not right. I'm exactly the same age like you and I look my age. I can get women younger than me in the US of A, 30's not 20's. If you look 15 years younger, then you'd be able to do even better! Why would you even want to get involved in this?

I was married for seven years to a UW 16 years younger. I went back a few months ago for a gorgeous UW with about the same age difference. When I go back again, I am targeting at least 20 years younger. No reason to go there if it is not for great looks and much much younger woman.

And don't be fooled, there is no evidence to suggest that if you marry older woman, you will not get a divorce. If you want to play it safe, then don't get married, just go there, have some fun, come back, lather, rinse and repeat. Great times, many opportunities currently if you can travel!

16 years younger is still stretching it a bit, unless it is something like 60 and 44. Not exactly the best advice for a new guy. And forget about that cliche about 'not looking your age', it gets tired after every older guy claims the same. If you are 47, then you will look 47.

20 years age gap will not work apart from a few anomalies. Relationship with massive age gap is almost always based on power position, usually the the guy being rich and 'experienced' attracting a small pool of women with mental issues looking for 'daddy figure'. I have never seen one case that is long lasting, most are simply illicit extramarital affairs or sugar daddy type arrangements.

Women who choose this path also demonstrate the lack of foresight by ruining their social standing as this is not socially acceptable. The MOB thing alone will already put you in grey area. Do you want a partner who is unwise? And don't forget once she will be in your country (if you ever managed to pull it that far), then she will be exposed to other 'options' and don't be surprised if she 'marries up'.

Ps. You will not have difficulty seeing this 'combo' in Kiev, but as the locals told me, the young ladies are just interested in cleaning out the old men's wallet. I do agree about getting a better partner (appearance wise) in FSU countries compared to what you can get back home. It is a common myth that foreign men come to FSU countries because they can't get dates locally. That is not true. Most foreign men can get dates, but they want better looking women. And most men who come are neither fat, bald nor old, you will soon see that you are up against some serious competition.

Last but not least, welcome to the forum :)

Offline AC

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2321
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
    • United Nations.org
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: new guy here
« Reply #16 on: October 30, 2014, 12:20:47 PM »

20 years age gap will not work apart from a few anomalies. Relationship with massive age gap is almost always based on power position, usually the the guy being rich and 'experienced' attracting a small pool of women with mental issues looking for 'daddy figure'. I have never seen one case that is long lasting, most are simply illicit extramarital affairs or sugar daddy type arrangements.


 :welcome:

Offline I/O

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4868
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: new guy here
« Reply #17 on: October 30, 2014, 02:41:08 PM »
A woman does not consist of her age only.
Agreed, there are much more important interesting factors, like great legs, cute butt perfect t...s you know how these guys think. ::)
 
Quote
Think of what you can offer to a woman.
Agreed, there are much more important interesting factors like, well hung or well healed...... you know how these girls think.  ::) 
 
Point is dude, you're fishing with all the wrong bait and you'll catch all the wrong fish - actually, the fish sharks will catch eat you. Rethink and start again.

Offline Anotherkiwi

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4089
  • Country: nz
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: new guy here
« Reply #18 on: October 30, 2014, 04:43:40 PM »
Point is dude, you're fishing with all the wrong bait and you'll catch all the wrong fish - actually, the fish sharks will catch eat you. Rethink and start again.

Good advice, which he won't see - he disappeared after that first post, and would only have seen the first three replies.

That must have been enough to turn him off!  :'(

Offline I/O

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4868
  • Country: au
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: Russia
  • Status: Married > 10 years
  • Trips: > 10
Re: new guy here
« Reply #19 on: October 30, 2014, 08:08:22 PM »
he disappeared after that first post
Yeah, I noticed that after I posted - one hit wonder, prolly a troll.

Online LAman

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2037
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 3-5 years
  • Trips: 4 - 10
Re: new guy here
« Reply #20 on: October 31, 2014, 11:27:53 AM »
Good advice, which he won't see - he disappeared after that first post, and would only have seen the first three replies.

That must have been enough to turn him off!  :'(

Must of have been YOUR post that sent him packing Kiwi....thanks for scaring him off...what did you say to him?? :o
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Offline Rembrandt

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 26
Re: new guy here
« Reply #21 on: October 31, 2014, 05:35:10 PM »
Welcome Kevin, new guy here as well!

I agree with what a couple of the other guys say, and think you need to seriously consider the viability of such an age difference, despite how old or young you look.

Remember these girls often have desires and aspirations just like any other girl, and despite the hoopla and mystique of FSU women, marrying a guy 17 years her senior often isn't one of them.

You might look young now relatively speaking, but when you hit the wall--trust me everyone hits the wall eventually--then what? Do you still think she'd be epitome of virtue and still stay married with you because "you're young at heart"?

You need to look at things from a physical attractiveness stand-point. Your intention is ultimately to bring her back to your country, and you need to think about the potential stigma and effects on her psyche being with someone with such a large age difference. Think long-term and not immediate gratification.

It's true you can find someone in the FSU more attractive than in any Western democracy, however, going for a girl based soley on age, physical attractiveness and beauty is a recipe for diaster. Take for instance one of my work colleagues who was married to a Russian girl. Based on the photos I saw of them, I can honesty say they weren't looks matched, she was much more physically attractive than him, and it was only inevitable that after 2 years she'd divorce all of a sudden.

Be reasonable in your expectations, so you don't want to end up being another divorce statistic.
« Last Edit: October 31, 2014, 05:45:12 PM by Rembrandt »

Offline AC

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2321
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
    • United Nations.org
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: new guy here
« Reply #22 on: October 31, 2014, 07:39:34 PM »

Remember these girls often have desires and aspirations just like any other girl, and despite the hoopla and mystique of FSU women, marrying a guy 17 years her senior often isn't one of them.


While I agree it may not be normal for this age gap with "normal" couples living there in the former Soviet Union, it seems to be far more acceptable for those couples who wish to be in a Western/Eastern relationship.

I've heard of 20 year age gaps and no problems.  Perhaps it simply depends on the people involved, however I suspect that women in Ukraine or Russia who want to meet and possible marry a Westerner are more prepared and willing to be in such a relationship.  I could be wrong but it seems that such gaps are possible.

Offline Faux Pas

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10066
  • Country: us
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: No Selection
  • Trips: No Selection
Re: new guy here
« Reply #23 on: November 01, 2014, 07:08:21 AM »
While I agree it may not be normal for this age gap with "normal" couples living there in the former Soviet Union, it seems to be far more acceptable for those couples who wish to be in a Western/Eastern relationship.

No, it's not acceptable or the norm in either the East or West. To even imply that it is is being dishonest. That's not to say such relationships will not or do not work. Those in large age gap relationships have a whole 'nother set of hurdles and circumstances in which to accept, adapt and overcome even if both parties are full of good intentions. Some work but the bigger question is; are you one of those special individuals that can make it work and more importantly, is she?

Quote
I've heard of 20 year age gaps and no problems.  Perhaps it simply depends on the people involved, however I suspect that women in Ukraine or Russia who want to meet and possible marry a Westerner are more prepared and willing to be in such a relationship.  I could be wrong but it seems that such gaps are possible.

All marriages have problems. 20 year age gaps have those problems and others. Sure they are possible. So is plural marriage and one day we might see pigs fly. Don't fool yourself. FSUW are no more inclined to enter a 20 year age gap relationship than their Western counterparts. Like their Western sisters, there will always be suspicious motives. That's just another one of the problems such relationships face. The situation is, what it is. You can look at others, you can whip yourself up in a fantasy fueled frenzy that such age gaps are embraced but, the reality is that they are not and aren't any different with FSUW than WW. Carpe diem

Offline AC

  • Banned Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2321
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
    • United Nations.org
  • Spouse's Country: No Selection
  • Status: Looking 1-2 years
  • Trips: 1 - 3
Re: new guy here
« Reply #24 on: November 01, 2014, 10:18:54 AM »
All marriages have problems. 20 year age gaps have those problems and others. Sure they are possible. So is plural marriage and one day we might see pigs fly.

What pigs don't fly in your neck of the woods? ;D  Again it depends on the people involved and their particular situation.  As you stated all marriages have problems.

If it's a single woman approaching 30 (or older) and she has a child she has few to no options in Russia or Ukraine.  A man who is about 50 with a good job and a home might be a Godsend for her.  If he treats her right the marriage will likely last; considering that she is a normal woman invested in the relationship. 

It may not be "normal" but then I suspect most people don't think any of these East/West international relationships are normal.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2014, 10:20:45 AM by AC »

 

+-RWD Stats

Members
Total Members: 8787
Latest: Duane2021
New This Month: 12
New This Week: 3
New Today: 1
Stats
Total Posts: 524644
Total Topics: 20280
Most Online Today: 1433
Most Online Ever: 12701
(January 14, 2020, 07:04:55 AM)
Users Online
Members: 31
Guests: 1344
Total: 1375

+-Recent Posts

Re: Wife wants to sell her Minsk apartment..... by Boethius
Today at 06:33:27 PM

Re: Wife wants to sell her Minsk apartment..... by tfcrew
Today at 06:25:12 PM

Wife wants to sell her Minsk apartment..... by Hammer2722
Today at 06:00:01 PM

Re: Greetings RWD! by Boethius
Today at 01:44:03 PM

Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies by Boethius
Today at 01:33:03 PM

Trench's Questions and Philosophies by 2tallbill
Today at 12:06:46 PM

Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies by Trenchcoat
Today at 11:22:42 AM

Greetings RWD! by 2tallbill
Today at 11:14:02 AM

Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies by 2tallbill
Today at 11:12:23 AM

Re: Greetings RWD! by GQBlues
Today at 08:43:52 AM

Powered by EzPortal