How are women thought of in FSU who go for quick 'hook ups'?

[Bounder]

While we can generalize, and there is some value in that, I think you will find that, no matter what culture, every girl is different.

There was a suggestion somewhere today or yesterday, that it reflects poorly on Russian girls if they have sex friends and urges that need fulfilling.  I'm sure it's no different anywhere else, including Ukraine, where I received certain benefits from someone who was insincere about a real relationship.

I don't think it reflects poorly on any girl from any place if she has desires and acts on them.  Only a hypocrite would argue against this, unless they are also "saving" themselves for someone special. I wish the non-hypocrites the best of luck.  As to the rest, you don't need to be a feminist to say that girls have the same rights as men when it comes to getting off.

As to requiring a virgin, Muslims require this.  It's backwards in my view.  Personally, I would rather meet someone who knows what to do in the bedroom, not a virgin.

[ML]

Personally, I would rather meet someone who knows what to do in the bedroom, not a virgin.

This is what instruction manuals are for.

[Bounder]

This is what instruction manuals are for.

You mean a girl who knows about sex from instruction manuals?

[ML]

You mean a girl who knows about sex from instruction manuals?

The gal, you, or some nearby third party who has a manual.

Probably best if one person reads and instructs the other two, and observes for correct technique, etc.

- - - - - - -

Older unmarried man and woman go to doctor and asks him to watch  them have sex and then give advice.

They proceed and doctor says he sees nothing wrong.

They come back  the second week and ask for the same.

Doctor ask why they are back since he told them there was no problem with their sex the previous week.

They told Doctor:  Because of nosy neighbors in our condo unit and disapproving children, we have to go to motel which costs minimum of $80-100.

But if we come here to your office for sex, Medicare picks up the cost.

[papakota]

Ba, Humbug....  I haven't got a US passport and Ireland isn't normally the top of the list of ladies aspirational nations

I'm pretty sure our experiences are reflecting our characters and the ladies we are interested in.

Trust me, attractive ladies in FSU care more about passports than about anything else when they date foreigners. Unless she doesn't want to leave FSU, then it's a different story.

I wasn't talking to you, but to him. "A US passport" in that regard could be a passport of any English speaking country. Something I don't have.

[papakota]

The simplest answer is to treat them the way you would at home.  I know that most of us have (or will have) travelled a long way to get to the FSU, so the temptation is to try to make any possible relationship work, but what's the point if it's fairly obvious to at least one of you that you're going nowhere fast?  Cut your losses, say goodbye nicely, and move on - exactly as you (hopefully  ) would have done if you were dating in your home town.

Local dating and long distance one are totally different. You can't apply same rules to different things.

[Bounder]

Local dating and long distance one are totally different. You can't apply same rules to different things.

He's just saying there is no use forcing something that isn't going to work.  Are you advising something different?

[Bounder]

Trust me, attractive ladies in FSU care more about passports than about anything else when they date foreigners. Unless she doesn't want to leave FSU, then it's a different story.

I wasn't talking to you, but to him. "A US passport" in that regard could be a passport of any English speaking country. Something I don't have.

Maybe the fact that you don't have one is the reason you think the passport is the most important thing to FSUW.  I'm calling BS on that.  There are many sincere ladies to be had out there who aren't putting a foreign passport above ALL ELSE.

[msmob]

The simplest answer is to treat them the way you would at home.

WHAT?! ..and expect them to want to go Dutch on the first date ?

[Boethius]

Maybe the fact that you don't have one is the reason you think the passport is the most important thing to FSUW.  I'm calling BS on that.  There are many sincere ladies to be had out there who aren't putting a foreign passport above ALL ELSE.

But he's not wrong that there are just as many who are looking for a foreign passport.  You can only really know this if you are from the FSU and have spent any time in FSU communities.  They don't say this to Westerners.  They do speak freely among "their own".

[HoundDaddyLee]

But he's not wrong that there are just as many who are looking for a foreign passport.  You can only really know this if you are from the FSU and have spent any time in FSU communities.  They don't say this to Westerners.  They do speak freely among "their own".

Boe,
I am trying to understand what you and PopaKota are trying to say. That us "English speakers" can only find "love" with an FSUW due to our passports? Are you saying we should stick to our "own kind"? Is this what you are trying to communicate? I am not trying to be an as*hole about this, I am serious. This is how I read what you two are writing. What a sad and homogeneous world we would have if different cultures didn't meet and marry.


I watched a show on Viceland last night about the "Marriage Market" set up by the Roma clans in Bulgaria. It was heartbreaking to see young girls sold into marriage due to having to stay within their culture. Just like some religions forcing their children to marry within their religion. I think you two are saying that Americans should stick to Americans (in Moby's case he should stick to the Irish lasses), is this true? I am pretty sure my girl loves me for me regardless of my passport. But based on you both (and many others from RUA) she wants the green card. I guess we should all just give up. You know when you use phrase like "among their own kind" you sound like a (racist, nationalist, etc.). Reading this from Popakota, I am not surprised. But from you Boe, I am seriously shocked. If I have misunderstood what you are trying to say, I apologize.


HDL

[Boethius]

Boe,
I am trying to understand what you and PopaKota are trying to say. That us "English speakers" can only find "love" with an FSUW due to our passports?

I don't think that is what either of us are saying.

Are you saying we should stick to our "own kind"? Is this what you are trying to communicate?

No.

I am not trying to be an as*hole about this, I am serious. This is how I read what you two are writing. What a sad and homogeneous world we would have if different cultures didn't meet and marry.

I won't speak for papakota, but no, this is not what I am saying at all. 

I think you two are saying that Americans should stick to Americans (in Moby's case he should stick to the Irish lasses), is this true? I am pretty sure my girl loves me for me regardless of my passport. But based on you both (and many others from RUA) she wants the green card.

Not what I posted, nor is that what I am saying in the least.  I merely pointed out that papakota's perspective is not 100% wrong.

[ML]

I will repeat what I have said before.

We western men are able to 'trade up' in the women we can attract in FSU compared to what we can do at home.

This is due to the economics, which is the same thing as saying 'your passport.'

However, even as the attraction and ability is based on economics, this does not preclude true love from developing over time.

[2tallbill]

You mean a girl who knows about sex from instruction manuals?

All girls come with a leather bound fully indexed instruction manual, it's just after
enough times they tend to lose it, just like their cell phone charger. Surely you
knew this 

[alex330]

Trust me, attractive ladies in FSU care more about passports than about anything else when they date foreigners.

I do not believe this to be the case any longer. Attractive ladies have options and can date wealthy men. They can travel to Thailand or Dubai, or the Maldives. With money you can solve any passport issue these days.

My limited experience in Ukraine was both sides. Upon hours of arrival my interpreter suggested a threesome with her girlfriend if things did not work out. My wife and her girlfriends on the other hand were slower paced like many here indicate. No desire for a passport among any of them except one recently who has no family left at this point.

Here in the US we know several hundred FSUW. They run the full spectrum. Green card girls, women who bounce from wealthy man to wealthy man, party girls, and your intelligent nice girl.

I imagine it varies even by geographic region. A woman from Moscow may be more open to a fling than one from Utah. And vice versa with Sumy and a girl from NYC.

[BillyB]

Most men who go to the FSU won't get married. Even from my dating experiences over there, MOST women will not marry me unless things are right and right isn't me offering a green card or money. Right means a happy family life and there are many factors that contribute to a happy family life. Even the gold diggers will use a guy temporary for shopping but won't marry them. Most guys doing tours are surrounded by sharks and GCG's and will come home without one woman wanting to marry them.

Sincere women want a happy family life. Green card and money can contribute to that goal but it is not the main thing these women want. The fact most women won't marry the guys visiting them is proof. They want their husband to be a winner, not a rich loser that can give them a green card.

[Nightwish]

Most men who go to the FSU won't get married. Even from my dating experiences over there, MOST women will not marry me unless things are right and right isn't me offering a green card or money. Right means a happy family life and there are many factors that contribute to a happy family life. Even the gold diggers will use a guy temporary for shopping but won't marry them. Most guys doing tours are surrounded by sharks and GCG's and will come home without one woman wanting to marry them.

Sincere women want a happy family life. Green card and money can contribute to that goal but it is not the main thing these women want. The fact most women won't marry the guys visiting them is proof. They want their husband to be a winner, not a rich loser that can give them a green card.

And HOW did you manage to land your lady then   

"kicking in an open door" but I could not resist.

[papakota]

He's just saying there is no use forcing something that isn't going to work.  Are you advising something different?

I never said anything about forcing. What I mean is this. Say, you've been talking to someone for couple months long distance, over Skype etc. You spent long hours talking to get to know her. A few women I met, had been naked on Skype before I met them face to face (I asked them to get undressed). It's not the same as if you just meet someone local right there and say Hi! What is your name?

[papakota]

Maybe the fact that you don't have one is the reason you think the passport is the most important thing to FSUW.  I'm calling BS on that.  There are many sincere ladies to be had out there who aren't putting a foreign passport above ALL ELSE.

If a lady is so sincere, why would she go to America for? She can very sincerely stay in Russia and have her US husband to immigrate to here. I'm a good example. My wife is sincere, BUT she doesn't go anywhere. She wants to live in Russia. That's the difference. Almost all women who are willing to emigrate, WANT to emigrate. And if she wants to emigrate, she must find a way to do it. And a marriage is about the only way for local women to achieve that. Simple logic. That doesn't mean she'd just marry ANYBODY. I don't say that. But a US passport definitely would be one of the top things she'd consider when she has to decide whether it's worth to get into a relationship with a guy.

[papakota]

Boe,
I am trying to understand what you and PopaKota are trying to say. That us "English speakers" can only find "love" with an FSUW due to our passports? Are you saying we should stick to our "own kind"? Is this what you are trying to communicate? I am not trying to be an as*hole about this, I am serious. This is how I read what you two are writing. What a sad and homogeneous world we would have if different cultures didn't meet and marry.


I watched a show on Viceland last night about the "Marriage Market" set up by the Roma clans in Bulgaria. It was heartbreaking to see young girls sold into marriage due to having to stay within their culture. Just like some religions forcing their children to marry within their religion. I think you two are saying that Americans should stick to Americans (in Moby's case he should stick to the Irish lasses), is this true? I am pretty sure my girl loves me for me regardless of my passport. But based on you both (and many others from RUA) she wants the green card. I guess we should all just give up. You know when you use phrase like "among their own kind" you sound like a (racist, nationalist, etc.). Reading this from Popakota, I am not surprised. But from you Boe, I am seriously shocked. If I have misunderstood what you are trying to say, I apologize.


HDL

I'm not Popakota, I'm papakota. I'm my cat's daddy, not its ass (papa is daddy and popa is ass in Russian).
Therefore, my first advice is the language.
Secondly and more importantly, I never said that people shouldn't marry foreign nationals. The opposite is the truth. Just because someone wants a Green Card, doesn't mean that she can't love you too. She can. When I came to the US I wanted a Green Card. I didn't love my first American wife, but loved the second. Didn't get a Green Card. Interestingly enough, my chances were much higher to get a Green Card with the first one. In other words, desire to get a Green Card is just ONE thing out of MANY. Something they keep in mind. All the rest (love, sex, common values) still remains regardless of immigration status.

[papakota]

I do not believe this to be the case any longer. Attractive ladies have options and can date wealthy men. They can travel to Thailand or Dubai, or the Maldives. With money you can solve any passport issue these days.

My limited experience in Ukraine was both sides. Upon hours of arrival my interpreter suggested a threesome with her girlfriend if things did not work out. My wife and her girlfriends on the other hand were slower paced like many here indicate. No desire for a passport among any of them except one recently who has no family left at this point.

Here in the US we know several hundred FSUW. They run the full spectrum. Green card girls, women who bounce from wealthy man to wealthy man, party girls, and your intelligent nice girl.

I imagine it varies even by geographic region. A woman from Moscow may be more open to a fling than one from Utah. And vice versa with Sumy and a girl from NYC.

I beg to differ. First of all, who said that ALL attractive ladies are necessarily rich enough to afford a Western citizenship? To legally "buy" a passport in a rich Western country would run into at least hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions. 99% of people in former Soviet Union simply don't have that much cash. Even if they sell their apartments here. Well, some win Green Cards, some get a Landed Resident status in Canada if she's a very good programmer etc. But those cases are very few. Marriage is the only way to a citizenship in a rich Western country for 99% of local women.
I never said that ALL women in former USSR want to emigrate. The majority doesn't. But I'm talking ONLY about those who do want to leave former Soviet Union. For those, a right passport is one of the most important things she'd consider when she meets someone.

[papakota]

Most men who go to the FSU won't get married. Even from my dating experiences over there, MOST women will not marry me unless things are right and right isn't me offering a green card or money. Right means a happy family life and there are many factors that contribute to a happy family life. Even the gold diggers will use a guy temporary for shopping but won't marry them. Most guys doing tours are surrounded by sharks and GCG's and will come home without one woman wanting to marry them.

Sincere women want a happy family life. Green card and money can contribute to that goal but it is not the main thing these women want. The fact most women won't marry the guys visiting them is proof. They want their husband to be a winner, not a rich loser that can give them a green card.

Very true. I came to Ukraine, met like 50 women and left single. But I'm 200% sure that my foreign passport made me stand out from the crowd. Most wouldn't even meet me otherwise in the first place. My first wife in Russia who married me in 2011 openly told me later that my passport was the main reason she had replied to me. She wouldn't have noticed me in a crowd otherwise. Not saying she only married me because of the passport. No. She liked my Southern type (brunette). She loved to have sex with me. But passport was the first thing that made her pay attention.

[alex330]

I beg to differ. First of all, who said that ALL attractive ladies are necessarily rich enough to afford a Western citizenship? To legally "buy" a passport in a rich Western country would run into at least hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions. 99% of people in former Soviet Union simply don't have that much cash. Even if they sell their apartments here. Well, some win Green Cards, some get a Landed Resident status in Canada if she's a very good programmer etc. But those cases are very few. Marriage is the only way to a citizenship in a rich Western country for 99% of local women.
I never said that ALL women in former USSR want to emigrate. The majority doesn't. But I'm talking ONLY about those who do want to leave former Soviet Union. For those, a right passport is one of the most important things she'd consider when she meets someone.

You are confused. I do not recall anybody saying good looking women are wealthy. I am not discussing purchasing a passport or citizenship. I said they have options. A few thousand dropped into a bank account, some paperwork and a Schengen VISA is no problem. Many women can get a VISA these days. No need to get married, just look on social media at how many travel these days.

And yes, most of the women we know do not want to leave home. No disagreement there.

[BillyB]

If a lady is so sincere, why would she go to America for? She can very sincerely stay in Russia and have her US husband to immigrate to here.

If a person comes to America, it doesn't make them any less insincere. It may even make them smart. Nothing wrong with wanting a better life and future for yourself and your family. Nothing wrong with leaving everything behind for a better future.

I'm not going to criticize conditions in Russia but people vote with their feet. When Syrians or other refugees need new homes, they don't head to Russia for a brighter future.

What a guy should worry about is the motives of their lady. Does she want a free or temporary ride or will she be a productive partner in the marriage.

[papakota]

You are confused. I do not recall anybody saying good looking women are wealthy. I am not discussing purchasing a passport or citizenship. I said they have options. A few thousand dropped into a bank account, some paperwork and a Schengen VISA is no problem. Many women can get a VISA these days. No need to get married, just look on social media at how many travel these days.

And yes, most of the women we know do not want to leave home. No disagreement there.

We're talking about different things here. Apples and oranges, so to speak. Those women who want to emigrate don't need a visa. They need a foreign passport. I can travel visa free to a whole bunch of countries, ranging from UK to NZ. But that absolutely doesn't help me to get settled anywhere.