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Author Topic: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?  (Read 29992 times)

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Offline Trenchcoat

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How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« on: December 18, 2016, 05:46:36 AM »
So I've heard that some don't treat them too well and at the worst end the women endure brutal treatment possibly in connection with the man drinking. I was wondering though how Russian men commonly treat their women in a relationship? So any experiences here would be of interest.
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Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2016, 08:35:57 AM »
What an incredibly stupid and ignorant question.  That's about as intelligent as asking how American or British or Canadian men typically treat their women.

The flaw in your thinking is that you are trying to pull unique experiences, and extrapolate them into society as a whole.  It doesn't work that way.

Russian men typically treat women heterosexually. It's common for the man to have a patriarchal mindset.  Much beyond that and you are grasping at straws.

Some men are good, family men who treat their wives with great respect and love.
Some men chase every skirt that walks by, and have no respect for marriage or loyalty to their wives.
Some men think nothing of getting divorced and trying to find someone new, treating women like a replaceable commodity.
Some men drink excessively, are abusive towards their wives in one way or another, and kick the dog.

This applies to men of all nationalities.  There are good and there are bad.

I suppose there is one commonality that is fairly stereotypical and a very, very general rule is that Russian men will approach a new relationship gung-ho, putting a lot of effort into impressing the lady and showing her how great of a guy he can be, and how special and important he thinks the girl is.  Then as the relationship progresses, the guy will put less and less effort into the relationship, to the point that she may feel forgotten about and taken for granted. (Never bring flowers or be romantic anymore, forget birthdays and anniversaries, etc.)
Some FSUW say that Western men approach relationships cautiously, and then over time as the relationship builds, the Western man shows more and more care and concern for her.

Offline ML

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2016, 10:55:50 AM »
Spouse told me of a situation like the one mentioned where FSUM go all out in beginning stages.

A slight acquaintance of hers won title of Miss Ukraine during one year.  Not sure if this was the one and only Miss Ukraine that year or just one of many contests.

Anyway . . . a wealthy man was pursuing her, even as he was married.

One day, he called her and asked her to look out her window onto the street.

She looked and an entire block was filled with flowers.

She did become his mistress for several years.

Last my spouse heard, this gal was married to a minor prince in Qatar or some such.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline alex330

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2016, 11:01:44 AM »
Yes, there are a large number that prefer to spend time with their friends drinking. I imagine since booze is involved there is some physical abuse. There are many men not involved in family life as well.

I have met a lot of good Ukrainian men though. They go for walks with their wife and children frequently and are generally solid guys.

But one thing I have noticed is the wife seems to be the boss in most of these cases. Running the house, groceries, cozy home, tasty dishes, buying matching clothing for family, etc. The men are just expected to work and provide. As Westerner it does not appear these guys are very happy. What we would call whipped over here in the US.


As ML and BF say, Russian men will go all in with romance, flowers, etc initially.

Offline Boethius

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2016, 12:53:45 PM »
Having lived in the USSR and observing relationships of both my and my husband's cousins' children now, I don't see much difference in relationships. Women in Ukraine have always controlled family money. That doesn't mean men are told what to do. It's just the way the society has always been structured. A man's role is more than just a provider of cash.  Roles in these societies are more structured, or delineated than in North America, partly because of feminism and partly due to traditions.

I think the difference is that women there will fight for their man, to beat his addictions or his infidelity whereas here, women may forgive once but will say to hell with you, I can find someone else. In addition, because the West is more egalitarian, women's options in life are not as restricted.

I don't believe there is more family violence there, but the attitudes toward it are different.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline alex330

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2016, 01:09:55 PM »
I think the difference is that women there will fight for their man, to beat his addictions or his infidelity whereas here, women may forgive once but will say to hell with you, I can find someone else. In addition, because the West is more egalitarian, women's options in life are not as restricted.


It seems as if the women are more forgiving of men's flaws in the FSU. I have heard of women telling their daughters that they have a good man and to stick it out or even deal with his flaws because at least he is (insert reason here).

Offline Boethius

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2016, 01:14:36 PM »
That's because, as a general rule, a woman's options once she has married there are more restricted than in the West. That, too, is due to the manner the society is structured and has been for centuries.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline alex330

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2016, 01:44:36 PM »
That's because, as a general rule, a woman's options once she has married there are more restricted than in the West. That, too, is due to the manner the society is structured and has been for centuries.


Do you see that changing with the younger generations? It seems that in any of these cases the women make more than the men or them men are not even working. The women carry the household.

Offline fathertime

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2016, 06:31:52 PM »

Do you see that changing with the younger generations? It seems that in any of these cases the women make more than the men or them men are not even working. The women carry the household.
I must say I have a lot of old friends where the woman is making more money than the man and it sure seems to me from the outside looking in that the lady behaves more like the man of the relationship.  That wouldn't work for me, but somehow the guys seem to be ok with it, or it might be like Boethius said relayed earlier regarding women not feeling like they had good options, except in this case it is the man that might feel that way.
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Offline BillyB

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2016, 07:53:30 PM »
So I've heard that some don't treat them too well and at the worst end the women endure brutal treatment possibly in connection with the man drinking. I was wondering though how Russian men commonly treat their women in a relationship? So any experiences here would be of interest.

Here's what a few women that I dated told me:

One Russian woman I dated in the States said her first Russian husband got drunk often, was verbally and physically abusive with the worst incident of breaking her nose. She got a tourist visa about 20 years ago and visited a friend. She never went back to Russia or her husband. She married a Russian man in America. He was a taxi driver and generally good to her but jealous and would show up at her place of work occasionally. He passed away and a few years later I met her.

One Belarussian woman I dated in the States came over on a fiancée visa and married a Ukrainian man. He locked her up in the house, wouldn't let her go out or have any friends. She divorced him and a few years later met me. After the first date she must have decided she didn't want to marry me but she did consider me for a lover. She wanted to make an agreement and told me she is going to college and could use money. I wouldn't have to take her out on dates and spend money on her but give her the money and she'd help me with my needs too.

One Ukrainian woman I dated in the States said her Ukrainian husband regularly gave her the silent treatment when he was upset. The worst being going silent for 3 months. She said he was always a quiet and weak man. She was in the process of getting a divorce when she met me and she was starving for attention. I say that because she was a nympho.

I dated a RW from Uzbekistan in the States. She said her husband was a drunk and deadbeat but other than that, she was never abused.

I dated a couple of Ukrainian gals in Ukraine that were in the early to mid 20's. They both said they'll never date a man under the age of 30. Their reasoning were that young men were immature. They want a man, not a boy to babysit. Also those young men tended to say "yes" all the time. They never seemed to have their own opinions always agreeing with the women they date. Seems to me those young men are easily pussy whipped.

Most other women I dated seem to have the problem their man wasn't faithful more than being drunk and abusive.

My wife's only experience was a wonderful one but the man wasn't from the FSU, the man is me!
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Bee Farmer

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2016, 09:29:23 PM »
Quote
I have met a lot of good Ukrainian men though. They go for walks with their wife and children frequently and are generally solid guys.

But one thing I have noticed is the wife seems to be the boss in most of these cases. Running the house, groceries, cozy home, tasty dishes, buying matching clothing for family, etc. The men are just expected to work and provide. As Westerner it does not appear these guys are very happy. What we would call whipped over here in the US.

What makes you say these men are not happy from a Western perspective?

I'm an American, and the happiest marriages I have ever seen all had the wife handling household (and sometimes business) finances, taking care of the home, and the guy worked and provided for the family.  Some folks would call these guys whipped, but these are the happiest marriages I have ever seen (and to be quite honest, these are the only kind of marriages I would ever want - anything less is blah.)

In these marriages, the man would do anything for his wife/family.  (Some folks say he is wrapped around her finger, or whipped.)
The secret to these happy marriages, is that the woman would also do anything for her husband/family.

If one person is committed to the other, but the other takes advantage of that, it leads to an abusive situation.  But as long as both partners have that same level of dedication and commitment, from my Western perspective, that seems like the absolute happiest marriages I have ever seen.

Personally, I wouldn't consider marrying a girl unless I was wrapped around her finger, and she was wrapped around my finger too.


Offline alex330

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #11 on: December 18, 2016, 10:31:49 PM »
What makes you say these men are not happy from a Western perspective?

These are couples we know. My wife talks to some of the guys and the women are her girlfriends. Generally the men are under a lot of pressure.

In these marriages, the man would do anything for his wife/family.  (Some folks say he is wrapped around her finger, or whipped.) The secret to these happy marriages, is that the woman would also do anything for her husband/family.

But as long as both partners have that same level of dedication and commitment, from my Western perspective, that seems like the absolute happiest marriages I have ever seen.

I agree with you if this was the case in the relationships. But it does not appear to be this way in some of them. It appears to be a hamster wheel for the guys.

Offline Boethius

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2016, 12:03:12 PM »

Do you see that changing with the younger generations? It seems that in any of these cases the women make more than the men or them men are not even working. The women carry the household.


No.  Not unless their society develops more egalitarian attitudes.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Boethius

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2016, 12:52:59 PM »
Also, in 2015, women made 41% less than men in comparable jobs in Ukraine.  That's up from 26% 3 years ago.  Both of those are across the board, from the lowest to highest positions.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline alex330

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #14 on: December 19, 2016, 01:07:18 PM »
Also, in 2015, women made 41% less than men in comparable jobs in Ukraine.  That's up from 26% 3 years ago.  Both of those are across the board, from the lowest to highest positions.


Most of the women we know in Ukraine make much more than the men. My wife made five times what her boyfriend made. My MIL makes double what my FIL makes. Svetlana makes triple working in the port than what her husband makes in construction. It goes son and on.


I imagine in the business sector what you say may be true though.

Offline wallm

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #15 on: December 19, 2016, 01:08:23 PM »
One Belarussian woman I dated in the States came over on a fiancée visa and married a Ukrainian man. He locked her up in the house, wouldn't let her go out or have any friends. She divorced him and a few years later met me. After the first date she must have decided she didn't want to marry me but she did consider me for a lover. She wanted to make an agreement and told me she is going to college and could use money. I wouldn't have to take her out on dates and spend money on her but give her the money and she'd help me with my needs too.

Did you help her with money or URL to one of those arrangement sites?  ;D

Offline Boethius

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #16 on: December 19, 2016, 01:20:25 PM »

Most of the women we know in Ukraine make much more than the men. My wife made five times what her boyfriend made. My MIL makes double what my FIL makes. Svetlana makes triple working in the port than what her husband makes in construction. It goes son and on.


I imagine in the business sector what you say may be true though.


No, that is across the board, every industry, according to studies, everything from international studies to Ukrainian government studies.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline alex330

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #17 on: December 19, 2016, 01:23:51 PM »
No, that is across the board, every industry, according to studies, everything from international studies to Ukrainian government studies.


There are many jobs only open to women though. A large number of the men we know cannot even find work. The women can work as teachers, in the port, translators, etc. Of course I am only familiar with one city in the country, so maybe not the norm.

Offline Boethius

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #18 on: December 19, 2016, 01:30:24 PM »
There are a lot of male teachers in Ukraine, although it is not a prestigious profession.  Many leave because they are not paid.  My experience dealing with "official" translators is that most are male, not female, but that is anecdotal.  I assume translators for Western men seeking women would be predominantly female.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2016, 01:40:37 PM by Boethius »
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline BillyB

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #19 on: December 19, 2016, 09:28:56 PM »
Did you help her with money or URL to one of those arrangement sites?  ;D

When I first mentioned years ago my dating experiences with that Belarussian woman, some posters thought I should take advantage of this opportunity and others thought it wasn't morally right. I didn't disclose if I accepted the woman's offer or reject it because, some posters would be upset with my decision and I didn't want to upset anybody.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline msmob

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #20 on: December 20, 2016, 02:29:59 AM »
That's because, as a general rule, a woman's options once she has married there are more restricted than in the West. That, too, is due to the manner the society is structured and has been for centuries.

Hi Boethius

Perhaps, I misunderstand ... I'm not sure I agree with this .. I don't know about UA - but in Russia it seems easier to get divorced than in EU nations...if the marriage is not working out.

What 'options' are you referring to ? ;)




Offline Boethius

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #21 on: December 20, 2016, 12:05:28 PM »
I don't mean the actual divorce.  I mean finding another partner and, if single, supporting a family. 
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline ML

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #22 on: December 20, 2016, 01:00:28 PM »
I didn't disclose if I accepted the woman's offer or reject it because, some posters would be upset with my decision and I didn't want to upset anybody.

I am upset that you did not disclose.
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Offline msmob

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #23 on: December 20, 2016, 03:49:36 PM »
I don't mean the actual divorce.  I mean finding another partner and, if single, supporting a family.

OK.. got you... I think this is more a factor of lack of will to enforce alimony.  In Russia / Ukraine - the nations I know better - it is still perceived that western men are 'better bets' re accepting 'ready made' families ....


Offline Boethius

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Re: How do Russian Men typically treat their women?
« Reply #24 on: January 02, 2017, 01:11:05 AM »
OK.. got you... I think this is more a factor of lack of will to enforce alimony.  In Russia / Ukraine - the nations I know better - it is still perceived that western men are 'better bets' re accepting 'ready made' families ....


That again is down to the FSU attitude toward women.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

 

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