if a woman wants to come and meet a man?

[Faux Pas]

I have not met anyone like her,  only one GF I had comes close.   we sat and talked.  the four of us.  anastasia,  alina,  and irina.   I can see they care for her alot.   I have not been to the ukraine,  but they told me.  many ukraine men are not serious in a relationship.  I am not saying all.    I have heard the same.  they told me many drink,  cheat and some hit.   of course,  in every country this happens.  they "grilled" me on many questions.  it was like a job interview.   

I may have seemed to act slowly to many people here.  and I may not have taken the advantage quickly.  this is the reason I came to this website.  to find out.   what really impressed me about alina was her dress,  she did not dress like most american women.  it was nice to see.  and I dressed "nicely" while I took both her and her friend out. 

the other thing that impressed me was she had knowledge of many different topics.  also,  she hates war and also government.  but I did not want to get into that with her.  not at this time.  I thank everyone for the advice.  all the advice given.    even if I did not agree with it. 

I am learning,   she made a joke about how she gained weight during the ukraine chirstmas.  which I learned is january 7th.   I didn't know they make 12 different meals on that day.  or so I read.  I don't know.   in reality that is. 

it has begun,  and I will take advantage of this chance.   

You came to the right place for advice/opinions. Be careful that you don't pay more attention to the noise than you do the sage advice. You are doing fine. Relationships need to advance and be fostered in their own time. Use your and her schedule. Few relationships are alike and whenever someone and more particularly someone here offers you advice they can a) guess because they have no clue or b) tell you what worked for them.

[LAman]

You came to the right place for advice/opinions. Be careful that you don't pay more attention to the noise than you do the sage advice. You are doing fine. Relationships need to advance and be fostered in their own time. Use your and her schedule. Few relationships are alike and whenever someone and more particularly someone here offers you advice they can a) guess because they have no clue or b) tell you what worked for them.

or c) reading the tea leaves.

[ML]

   I have not been to the ukraine,   

And I doubt you will ever go to 'the ukraine' as there is no such place.

Or maybe it is on another planet near the germany, the france, the italy and the russia.

[BillyB]

they told me.  many ukraine men are not serious in a relationship.  I am not saying all.    I have heard the same.  they told me many drink,  cheat and some hit.   of course,  in every country this happens. 

Also, many men in Ukraine can't financially support a family as well as American men and Ukraine is not as good as an environment to raise kids as America is. Keep in mind, those ladies jobs were in dance clubs. They are used to seeing immature and drunk men. There are many good men in Ukraine but they are not seen as often because they are at home taking care of their families.

they "grilled" me on many questions.  it was like a job interview.   

It is good that they care about what's inside your head.

I may have seemed to act slowly to many people here.  and I may not have taken the advantage quickly.  this is the reason I came to this website.  to find out.

There is no debate that you acted slowly and didn't take advantage of the opportunities thrust upon you. Previously the girl was in NY and FL and invited you to see her and you failed to fly a short distance, even for a weekend, to go meet her. You had excuses. A real man to these ladies have solutions and get things done.


Look at your situation from our eyes. I got friends who are single and if they are motivated and not ones to make excuses and looking for a woman, I'd ask my wife if she's got any single friends for them. I also got single friends who have big love and dedication to give a woman but in reality they aren't very motivated and like to make excuses. I would not risk my reputation and relationship with the wife asking her to hook them up with one of her friends. I would refer them and you to a dating/marriage website and that is all I would do. If you had a friend who shows hesitation, lack of desire, and make excuses when chasing women, would you recommend a good girl to him?


You've had great relationships in the past but they didn't survive. Your best friends are divorced. Do you share some of the characteristics they have? Your uncle has been divorced 3 times. Do you have some of his genes? You may not like my questions but Alina will find out someday and she will be asking the same questions in her head. You need to be clearly different than them. Some posters here think you'll be fine based off your recent actions. Others, like myself, think you need to make adjustments in order to catch this woman and maintain a relationship with her. After she took a big step in visiting you, catching her will be the easy part but she may not tolerate any weaknesses for long.

it has begun,  and I will take advantage of this chance.   

Wonderful and I wish you two the best, but don't ever think Alina will forget the chances to be with her you passed up. You have less room for error this time around.

[LAman]

Sorry if I have not read all posts IamMaiC but I hope you will buy that flight to Ukraine in spring asap, its only a few short months away. Pick a date, a length of time and tell Alina when you will be there. As Gator said, be a strong man and show your intentions, this would go a long way in setting a good example. Many here can help you with logistics of getting around in Ukraine( if you are not met in Kiev).

Keep in mind that you are just friends and your thoughts should be about spending time together and getting to know each other. Chances are nothing will come of this but play it out if you want to see it through. Alina is a young girl.....probably doesn't really know what she wants yet and being a DJ, doesn't really have to look far into the future...it's all fun at the moment. I guess doing want she wants, which is exciting at moment. I wish you good luck in your travels and the possible love interest!!

[IamMaiC]

Sorry if I have not read all posts IamMaiC but I hope you will buy that flight to Ukraine in spring asap, its only a few short months away. Pick a date, a length of time and tell Alina when you will be there. As Gator said, be a strong man and show your intentions, this would go a long way in setting a good example. Many here can help you with logistics of getting around in Ukraine( if you are not met in Kiev).

Keep in mind that you are just friends and your thoughts should be about spending time together and getting to know each other. Chances are nothing will come of this but play it out if you want to see it through. Alina is a young girl.....probably doesn't really know what she wants yet and being a DJ, doesn't really have to look far into the future...it's all fun at the moment. I guess doing want she wants, which is exciting at moment. I wish you good luck in your travels and the possible love interest!!

I am going in may to see her,   she also said her mother wants to meet me.  is this normal?  does this mean Alina is serious about me?  I do not know much about Ukraine Culture.   also,  someone told me it is cheaper to get an apartment than getting a hotel room.  I am planning to stay for 3 weeks. 

to answer your statement about her being a DJ.   she is getting tired of it.   according to her,  she did it because she could not get steady work being an actress.  that is what she really wants to do.  but acting jobs are few and far between.  she's been a DJ for close to 8 years. 

so far,  we have been communicating.  and we even used skype now.  we will see in may how it goes. 

[BillyB]

I am going in may to see her,   she also said her mother wants to meet me.  is this normal?  does this mean Alina is serious about me?  I do not know much about Ukraine Culture.   also,  someone told me it is cheaper to get an apartment than getting a hotel room.  I am planning to stay for 3 weeks. 

It's a good sign her mother wants to meet you and that Alina wants to introduce you to her mother. If her mother makes you a traditional Ukrainian drink and spits in it, it's a great honor so make sure you drink all of it. Getting an apartment is cheaper and many people do it. The apartment manager will also pick you up from the airport and take you back when you leave so you don't need a taxi to the hotel. Just kidding about the spit but do try to eat and drink everything they give you. Do lots of reading here. Lots of travel advice to be found.

[Irina-Rina]

well, it seems that your situation is not typical. Show me another SFU woman who has traveled to 40 countries! This is VERY unusual and this means that the woman has more of a "global" look at things rather than a typical Russian, and definitely  not the Soviet mentality. Secondly, if a woman wants to meet you right away, this only means she is a modern, self-confident woman, who has nothing to hide and has no desire to procrastinate... why not go and meet then?

You are right, there are too many stories about Russian women. But I would like to put in my 5 cents by saying that of all FSU women, there are only less than 1% of those who have EVER dealt with fating/marriage industry. To me personally this statistics means that FSU women are frequently being misunderstood. These stories bring up a very specific attitude to Russian women in general. which is NOT correct. You should not trust about the remaining 99% by what you have heard about just 1% of all SFU women.
 

[southernX]

well, it seems that your situation is not typical. Show me another SFU woman who has traveled to 40 countries! This is VERY unusual and this means that the woman has more of a "global" look at things rather than a typical Russian, and definitely  not the Soviet mentality. Secondly, if a woman wants to meet you right away, this only means she is a modern, self-confident woman, who has nothing to hide and has no desire to procrastinate... why not go and meet then?

correct. You should not trust about the remaining 99% by what you have heard about just 1% of all SFU women.

agree with irina here

the question i would ask of you iamaic is this

while it it very wonderfull to be caught up with this young lady now , and she clearly has taken note of what her local girlfriend has told her about you , and you both may well develop this into something more serious ,
what about along term future together ??  i knwo you will have thought about it , how do you see it potentialy working , ?? with kids , where would you live etc ??

this young lady as irina points out above imo is not likly to want to settle down to a steady placid family life in the near future that revolves around your business and the lifestyle you may now have .

have you both given this full discussion and appraisal into the future , given the age gap between you , its difficult to see a long term success , however you both may well be more compatible and want the same things etc etc

while its not impossible , it is not going to be easy either , you have imo found avery mature strong young lady who will have lots of expectations ,

can you find out what they are and meet them ???  are you able to ??do you want to ?

good luck , & enjoy the ride , keep us up to speed 

SX

[LAman]

agree with irina here

the question i would ask of you iamaic is this

while it it very wonderfull to be caught up with this young lady now , and she clearly has taken note of what her local girlfriend has told her about you , and you both may well develop this into something more serious ,
what about along term future together ??  i knwo you will have thought about it , how do you see it potentialy working , ?? with kids , where would you live etc ??

this young lady as irina points out above imo is not likly to want to settle down to a steady placid family life in the near future that revolves around your business and the lifestyle you may now have .

have you both given this full discussion and appraisal into the future , given the age gap between you , its difficult to see a long term success , however you both may well be more compatible and want the same things etc etc

while its not impossible , it is not going to be easy either , you have imo found avery mature strong young lady who will have lots of expectations ,

can you find out what they are and meet them ???  are you able to ??do you want to ?

good luck , & enjoy the ride , keep us up to speed 

SX

SX....they're just barely dating!!!!

 I think maybe meeting for 2(or 3rd) time. Probably still sending feelers out. Who knows what will or will not happen. You just don't know until you spend time together, have fun get to know each other better and after some time( could be many months)....and there is that time.......where you speak about the future, if there is a future.

[southernX]

SX....they're just barely dating!!!!

  very true

Who knows what will or will not happen.

also very true 

You just don't know until you spend time together, have fun get to know each other better and after some time( could be many months)....and there is that time.......where you speak about the future, if there is a future.

 , there lies the rub ,we see alot of blokes who invest in a lady , then discover its not quite right , but are reluctant to move on because of that investement they have made

my post was to provoke some reflection on his part, while im sure he has been doing it , often if left to ourselves we  initially  mentally logic away  potential issues  that in time may come back to bite us

good advice is , can you do it ??  do you want to do it ? & committ to it ?? can you afford to committ to it ??

some good soul searching of what you want /need is well worth investigating for each of us that have started off down this road imho

others often help us in this regard

SX

[IamMaiC]

  very true

also very true 

 , there lies the rub ,we see alot of blokes who invest in a lady , then discover its not quite right , but are reluctant to move on because of that investement they have made

my post was to provoke some reflection on his part, while im sure he has been doing it , often if left to ourselves we  initially  mentally logic away  potential issues  that in time may come back to bite us

good advice is , can you do it ??  do you want to do it ? & committ to it ?? can you afford to committ to it ??

some good soul searching of what you want /need is well worth investigating for each of us that have started off down this road imho

others often help us in this regard

SX

we had one date,  and that is when she came to see me.  I did take alina and her friend irina.  who is her partner DJ.  I took them out on the town.   while I was alone with alina,  I asked her,  would she like to have dinner with me.  that was our time together.   I don't know much about the nightclub scene in Ukraine.  but it seems pretty wild.  after some videos I have seen. 

I watched one video,   a young man gives both alina and irina a single flower.  I asked her about this,  and she told me that it happens often.  she told me she is not interested in the men who come to the clubs,  she even told me.  she does not even like nightclubs.  she is more of a home person.  go figure...

she is an actress,  that is truly what she wants to do.  and she is actually in a play in kiev.  which I wished her good luck with. 

we are in the beginnings of our relationship,  I am not going to do what I did in the past.  people here either told me I was too slow or not fast enough.  but because we are other sides of the planet,  she has her life right now and I have mine.   I am thankful for all points of view and advice. 

all I have to say is this,  she is beautiful.  I'm sure she can have any man she wants.  but she chose to see me.  when she did,  I acted the gentleman.  I am in no rush,  she is in no rush.   we still email one another.  so the attraction is still there.  and I'm very happy about it.

[Faux Pas]

we had one date,  and that is when she came to see me.  I did take alina and her friend irina.  who is her partner DJ.  I took them out on the town.   while I was alone with alina,  I asked her,  would she like to have dinner with me.  that was our time together.   I don't know much about the nightclub scene in Ukraine.  but it seems pretty wild.  after some videos I have seen. 

I watched one video,   a young man gives both alina and irina a single flower.  I asked her about this,  and she told me that it happens often.  she told me she is not interested in the men who come to the clubs,  she even told me.  she does not even like nightclubs.  she is more of a home person.  go figure...

she is an actress,  that is truly what she wants to do.  and she is actually in a play in kiev.  which I wished her good luck with. 

we are in the beginnings of our relationship,  I am not going to do what I did in the past.  people here either told me I was too slow or not fast enough.  but because we are other sides of the planet,  she has her life right now and I have mine.   I am thankful for all points of view and advice. 

all I have to say is this,  she is beautiful.  I'm sure she can have any man she wants.  but she chose to see me.  when she did,  I acted the gentleman.  I am in no rush,  she is in no rush.   we still email one another.  so the attraction is still there.  and I'm very happy about it.

Taking it slow, being in no rush is all well and good. However, you are half a world apart in distance and distance is a killer for a relationship. Let her know how you feel and do what you can to shorten the distance (i.e. make regular visits) and let her know how you feel about her and your intentions for the future (when appropriate). If you haven't decided by now where you want this to go, you'd better be giving it some thought or expect to lose her.

Apparently she did pick you but, don't be surprised if she should get disinterested or pick another if you are not prepared to act and do.

Good luck!

[BillyB]

I watched one video,   a young man gives both alina and irina a single flower.  I asked her about this,  and she told me that it happens often.  she told me she is not interested in the men who come to the clubs,  she even told me.  she does not even like nightclubs.  she is more of a home person.  go figure...

Whatever happened in her past, let it go so that you can move forward in a healthy manner. Doesn't matter who gave her flowers or who she slept with before you two met. She probably assumed you were sleeping with girls too before meeting but isn't going to ask you. My wife assumed I was sleeping with girls before meeting her but I always tell her I don't want to talk about it. Of course she's right.
Don't give your lady any impression you're insecure. She is beautiful. Men will look at her ass when she walks past them and lust for her body. They will continue to flirt with her. The ring you put on her finger will not stop all of them. If you want a beautiful woman in your life, you must accept this and not let it bother you. If she is a good and faithful woman, you have nothing to worry about. Just be happy she's yours and not someone elses.

[IamMaiC]

Whatever happened in her past, let it go so that you can move forward in a healthy manner. Doesn't matter who gave her flowers or who she slept with before you two met. She probably assumed you were sleeping with girls too before meeting but isn't going to ask you. My wife assumed I was sleeping with girls before meeting her but I always tell her I don't want to talk about it. Of course she's right.
Don't give your lady any impression you're insecure. She is beautiful. Men will look at her ass when she walks past them and lust for her body. They will continue to flirt with her. The ring you put on her finger will not stop all of them. If you want a beautiful woman in your life, you must accept this and not let it bother you. If she is a good and faithful woman, you have nothing to worry about. Just be happy she's yours and not someone elses.

your right,   I need to stop checking on her.  even though I can.  various websites that she has due to being a DJ.  after reading some horror stories on this forum.  I just thought about that.  and had already placed that experience between Her and I.   

I appreciate the advice.   Thanks. 

[ML]

she told me she is not interested in the men who come to the clubs,

Makes no sense.  That's like a person saying they don't like people who shop for groceries at Safeway, Kroger, Giant Eagle, A&P, or Piggly  Wiggly, etc.

[Faux Pas]

Makes no sense.  That's like a person saying they don't like people who shop for groceries at Safeway, Kroger, Giant Eagle, A&P, or Piggly  Wiggly, etc.

Makes plenty of sense to me. I once had a GF that would not date anyone she met in a bar. No exceptions. The weird thing was she frequented a number of bars. Not to pick up or be picked up but to drink and enjoy conversation with friends. She was very attractive and got hit on frequently in the bars. I thought it was odd and didn't believe her and found out from folks that knew her it was very true. They didn't understand it either. I met her initially in a restaurant while she was with her mother. We were steady for almost 3 years. I could have just as easily met her in a bar. Go figure

[IamMaiC]

Makes no sense.  That's like a person saying they don't like people who shop for groceries at Safeway, Kroger, Giant Eagle, A&P, or Piggly  Wiggly, etc.

from what I can see,  does she even have a chance to talk to anyone?   she is doing her DJ show.   probably why she feels the way she does.   

[alex330]

Most of the girls I know don't meet guys in the clubs. They just go to dance and hang out.

The flowers don't mean anything either. Especially in the FSU. Guys give girls flowers all the time. Like Billy said don't sweat it and learn to deal with it. She is being offered much more than flowers on a regular basis if she is good looking and in the public eye.

[IamMaiC]

Ok,  I would appreciate all advice given..recently I was curious.  and joined a pay by letter site.  jump4love.   before I get bent out of shape and confront alina about it.   I came here for advice.   we are still emailing one another.   and I have heard of the sites and actually joined "russianbrides.com"  years ago.  but the site seem too polished for me..and I'm sure comes with a price.   just recently learned it's partner is"anastasiadate.com"   due to my incredibly lucky opportunity with alina's friend,  I never bothered with these websites,  until recently.

before I lose you all with my rambling,     while searching on jump4love.  and I found alina's profile.  I went to anastasiadate.com and found another profile of hers.  and another site   ladadate.com.  she has a profile there also.   who knows where else...

my question is,   should I say something to her about this?  or just leave it alone.   she may take it the wrong way.  and everything we have written to about,  may end.    again,  I thank you for all advice...

[dragonkid]

Ok,  I would appreciate all advice given..recently I was curious.  and joined a pay by letter site.  jump4love.   before I get bent out of shape and confront alina about it.   I came here for advice.   we are still emailing one another.   and I have heard of the sites and actually joined "russianbrides.com"  years ago.  but the site seem too polished for me..and I'm sure comes with a price.   just recently learned it's partner is"anastasiadate.com"   due to my incredibly lucky opportunity with alina's friend,  I never bothered with these websites,  until recently.

before I lose you all with my rambling,     while searching on jump4love.  and I found alina's profile.  I went to anastasiadate.com and found another profile of hers.  and another site   ladadate.com.  she has a profile there also.   who knows where else...

my question is,   should I say something to her about this?  or just leave it alone.   she may take it the wrong way.  and everything we have written to about,  may end.    again,  I thank you for all advice...

YOu met her on a pay for letter site, and she is on all the popular scam sites?



Join fdating,russiancupid,ukrainedate, and elena date (i never tried elena). It is a good way not to get ripped off by paying for letters to women who will rip you a new ass hole.

[treadmilldude]

Umm, I know Alina quite well. She stole quite a lot of money from me on Anastasiadate about a year ago (the way I figure, 40 cents per minute of chat X about 3 hours of chat = about $72 Alina stole from me). If you want to get involved with Alina, have at it!! I am not competing with you for Alina's affections, that is for damn sure!!

I can tell you from having about (4) 45 minute chats with Alina, confronting her on VK after our last chat once I found her on VK, and discovered she was lying her ass off to me about everything, then her repeatedly assuring me "she loved me" and I was "the perfect man for her"......in my estimation there is not a bigger fraud / scammer on the planet than Alina. Alina is taking you to the cleaners my dear friend. Are you aware that she has been on Anastasia now for over 4 years? You really think it takes a woman as beautiful as Alina more than 4 years to find a Man? More than 4 years on Anastasia, and she STILL has not found a man?

Oh, what do you think about all of those "beautiful" (sarcasm) tattoos she covered her entire body in from head to toe, about, I dunno, maybe 12-16 months ago? Aren't those full body tattoos she is now covered in just lovely?    Can't you imagine just how elated your entire family will be when you introduce Alina and those "beautiful" tattoos of hers are visible for the entire world to see? I mean Alina is definitely the type of woman you want to take home to Mom and Dad, right?   

Please do NOT send me any PM's or emails about Alina. I do not want to discuss her with anyone. I get the world's worst heartburn just thinking about Alina. I am as serious as a heart attack, DO NOT send me any PM's or emails about Alina, I will not discuss that very forgettable part of my life. That rancid chapter in my life (Anastasiadate / Russianbrides) is, fortunately, closed forever.

[Steamer]

  while searching on jump4love.  and I found alina's profile.  I went to anastasiadate.com and found another profile of hers.  and another site   ladadate.com.  she has a profile there also.   who knows where else...

my question is,   should I say something to her about this?  or just leave it alone.   she may take it the wrong way.  and everything we have written to about,  may end.    again,  I thank you for all advice...

It's a common thing for these agencies to steal each others profiles and post them as their own. It's also common for women to post on more than one site.
Remember: e-mails and phone calls do not mean squat. You're not even considered a real prospect until you show up at her door. She probably gets e-mails from a dozen undecided Romeo's every day. That's why making the trip (not just talking about it) puts you at the front of the line.

[alex330]

My wife's profile is still up on one of the Anastasia feeder sites and she has been married and living here in the US for the past 4 yrs. Just saying...

[treadmilldude]

Alex, how did you meet your Wife? Did you just get on a plane and, once in her FSU city, meet her through a social media site like VK or Mamba (By FAR the best way to meet a FSU woman)?  Or did you, unfortunately, meet her through that "honest, noble" website Anastasiadate?