"Generous, not greedy" on so many women's profiles

[redking11]

So many FSUW's profiles say they are looking for men that are "generous, not greedy" I'm not sure what to think about this considering you don't see American women using this phrase on American dating sites. Doing so would labele a woman as a gold digger and men would avoid her. Is being straight forward about wanting a man with ample money to lavish on you not looked down on in the FSU or is it something else? Here are my thoughts

1. The phrase is so common and the exact words are reused so much that these are likely fake profiles set up by scammers or the agencies themselves.

2. "Generous, not greedy" is FSUW code for I'm looking for a guy with money that is willing to blow it on me. (as stated above)

3, There really are just a ton of cheap cheap guys that won't even buy their ladies dinner and drinks. (This one is less believable)

Anyone want to chime in with their perception of this oft seen phrase?

[GQBlues]

Your impression is in line. Life is generally tough in this, and other MOB region. To coin Slick Willy's infamous quote, "it's the economy, stupid!"

But don't kid yourself, while it may not necessarily appear on AW's dating pages, don't be misled not believing that guys with the most carrots usually get the bunnies.

[redking11]

What does MOB mean?

Of course the man with the most carrots gets the bunnies, has the world ever been different? It's simply a matter of culture difference, I guess In the U.S. women that admit they are looking for a man with money are seen as shallow "users" incapable of love. Which is not true, you can want money and still love the man. And I guess that in the FSU there is no such stigma. Though you would think that FSUW would be instructed by agencies on Western culture and how this is viewed by western men.   

[redking11]

Your impression is in line. Life is generally tough in this, and other MOB region. To coin Slick Willy's infamous quote, "it's the economy, stupid!"

But don't kid yourself, while it may not necessarily appear on AW's dating pages, don't be misled not believing that guys with the most carrots usually get the bunnies.

By the way, which of my three impressions is in line? All? just number 2?

[Larry1]

What does MOB mean?

It stands for Mail Order Bride.

Regarding the FSU definition of greedy man, it's a bit complicated. Many FSU people, or at least many FSUW dating internationally, define the word differently from the way English speakers in the West define it.

Many of them seem to regard a guy who has the money but isn't willing to spend it on something nice for her as "the greedy man".

[Bounder]

I think there's at least two things going on here.  One, FSUW are more direct and they still talk about greed, a common human characteristic.  Two, they are translating from their own language, which relates back to the first point.

I think you need to take it at face value and go from there.  A girl won't like a stingy guy who won't be willing to pay for a dinner or finance a fun night on the town.  She's thinking too about the future with you.  Will she have a miserable and uncomfortable life with you because you can't/don't want to afford a nice place to live, good and plentiful food, nice clothes, some holidays, etc etc.  All of these things are relative and each girl will be different in her expectations (so don't go for a girl you can't afford).

Some may just be out for a scam, to shave some money off you.  But like I said, you should just accept "generous" and "not greedy" at face value for what they are and go from there and use your good judgement to see what kind of girl you are dealing with..

[redking11]

Well I feel stupid

[redking11]

It stands for Mail Order Bride.

Regarding the FSU definition of greedy man, it's a bit complicated. Many FSU people, or at least many FSUW dating internationally, define the word differently from the way English speakers in the West define it.

Many of them seem to regard a guy who has the money but isn't willing to spend it on something nice for her as "the greedy man".

Go into more detail please. Do these women expect nice gifts after one or two dates when you are still practically strangers? Do they feel entitled to nice gifts by virtue of being women or going out with you at all? Or does greedy mean the guy that refused to get a women a gift even though they are in a committed relationship?

[GQBlues]

By the way, which of my three impressions is in line? All? just number 2?

For the most part, 1 & 2. Along with what everyone else had shared with you thus far..

Also remember that FSU folks used to not have too much faith on savings institution, or saving $$ period. So consequently they have a tendency to 'splurge'. Things have changed a bit with Russia, thus the country isn't as dominating in the pursuit (international marriage) as it once did. Ukraine, I can only guess, hasn't yet caught up with the improvement.

FSUM likes to wine and dine their targeted inamorata, and unless they're siphoning off from the bottomless money pit, it dries up pretty fast and trouble begins. In some ways, just like it is at home for many guys.

I agree with the statement that this is also just another case of 'lost in translation'. Normally, women are shall I say 'naturally' averse to frugal behavior with the man they're with, especially the younger crowd.

It's good you're asking questions.

[JayH]

Go into more detail please. Do these women expect nice gifts after one or two dates when you are still practically strangers? Do they feel entitled to nice gifts by virtue of being women or going out with you at all? Or does greedy mean the guy that refused to get a women a gift even though they are in a committed relationship?

The use of the word "greedy" in general terms used like this is to say a guy is --mean , tight,stingy,scrooge,reluctant to put his hand in his pocket to pay.
As an example --if you met a girl and she was leaving to go home at 11pm-- pay or at least offer to pay for a taxi would be appropriate.  Giving her the public transport cost would be an example of being "greedy" --or mean !

That is general explanation of the use of the word. The use in connection with being generous as you  asked in op is another matter.

[Bounder]

For the most part, 1 & 2. Along with what everyone else had shared with you thus far..

Also remember that FSU folks used to not have too much faith on savings institution, or saving $$ period. So consequently they have a tendency to 'splurge'. Things have changed a bit with Russia, thus the country isn't as dominating in the pursuit (international marriage) as it once did. Ukraine, I can only guess, hasn't yet caught up with the improvement.

FSUM likes to wine and dine their targeted inamorata, and unless they're siphoning off from the bottomless money pit, it dries up pretty fast and trouble begins. In some ways, just like it is at home for many guys.

I agree with the statement that this is also just another case of 'lost in translation'. Normally, women are shall I say 'naturally' averse to frugal behavior with the man they're with, especially the younger crowd.

It's good you're asking questions.

Good point about splurging and not having trust with savings institutions.  Difficult history has born this out in their and in their families lives.  They won't hesitate to spend all their meagre savings for a gift for someone special, whether it's a child, parent, or someone they love.  They expect that you won't hesitate to spend on them. 

But don't think you have to agree to spend on big gifts for a girl you are just meeting for the first time.  If that's what she is proposing, then run.  A good girl will be reasonable with you, while also understanding "reasonable" as it is in her culture.

[Bounder]

It stands for Mail Order Bride.

Regarding the FSU definition of greedy man, it's a bit complicated. Many FSU people, or at least many FSUW dating internationally, define the word differently from the way English speakers in the West define it.

Many of them seem to regard a guy who has the money but isn't willing to spend it on something nice for her as "the greedy man".

Larry, I wonder if "greedy" is another victim of Political Correctness.  I haven't heard this term in many years, except in FSUW contexts.  Yet, "greedy" remains a relevant term describing a human condition. 

[redking11]

Greedy to me has always meant wanting more than you have or wanting something that someone else has. I.E. these FSUW sound greedy to me because they want me to lavish money on them for no other reason than they are female.

However, stingy or tight or scrooge-like ect ect. to my mine means being unwilling to spend your money on even small luxuries. 

[redking11]

The use of the word "greedy" in general terms used like this is to say a guy is --mean , tight,stingy,scrooge,reluctant to put his hand in his pocket to pay.
As an example --if you met a girl and she was leaving to go home at 11pm-- pay or at least offer to pay for a taxi would be appropriate.  Giving her the public transport cost would be an example of being "greedy" --or mean !

That is general explanation of the use of the word. The use in connection with being generous as you  asked in op is another matter.

This is good info. I'm nervous because I have a planned trip approaching and I want to understand what the expectations are for me. Dinner, drinks, entertainment and travel costs would be paid by any gentleman and as a matter of safety. I'd have a problem if the girl wanted a $500 dress or $1000 piece of jewelry on the 2nd date.

[ML]

First and foremost . . . FSU folks misuse the word 'greedy.'

It is due to an incorrect translation in ALL of their translation books.

The word they should use is 'stingy.'

Greedy is used to describe takers.
Stingy is used to describe givers.

So really, many FSU gals should be saying "I don't want a man who is stingy, because I am greedy."

Now, let me continue to say that I didn't really experience many FSU gals who were greedy.

Further, why do many FSU women (at least those on the dating sites) mention this generous and stingy trait in their profiles ??

Because FSU men are known for spending foolishly on women they are trying to woo.
However, FSU women have picked up on knowledge that western men will not spend so foolishly on them.
So they try to eliminate those western men who will not spend foolishly on them.

Thus, I eliminated from consideration any woman who put this generous and stingy concept in their profiles, and actually I didn't see it that often in my target group who were 35 years and older.  It may be much more prevalent with the younger gals.

[GQBlues]

This is good info. I'm nervous because I have a planned trip approaching and I want to understand what the expectations are for me. Dinner, drinks, entertainment and travel costs would be paid by any gentleman and as a matter of safety. I'd have a problem if the girl wanted a $500 dress or $1000 piece of jewelry on the 2nd date.

Yeah, well, your mileage definitely varies at least with me. Does that mean it's ok for you if they asked/expected/wanted any of it on the 3rd date, or any other ensuing dates thereof?

One gal from Ekaterinburg asked me if I could bring her a Shania Twain CD on my first visit. But that was the extent of that.

I have never dated a gal, whether local or abroad, that had ever asked/expected anything in those vein from me. Had any of them have, I wouldn't be dating them - period. That's true with any gal I've ever dated. That's just me...

[redking11]

Yeah, well, your mileage definitely varies at least with me. Does that mean it's ok for you if they asked/expected/wanted any of it on the 3rd date, or any other ensuing dates thereof?

I have never dated a gal, whether local or abroad, that had ever asked/expected anything in those vein from me. Had any of them have, I wouldn't be dating them - period. That's true with any gal I've ever dated. That's just me...

GQ, Any women that expected/demanded I buy something like that would be sent packing. Things like that are purchased voluntarily as gifts/symbols of affection on Christmas, anniversary, Valentines day, b-day ect. I would never tolerate a woman that expcted such things on demand.

[redking11]

First and foremost . . . FSU folks misuse the word 'greedy.'

It is due to an incorrect translation in ALL of their translation books.

The word they should use is 'stingy.'

Greedy is used to describe takers.
Stingy is used to describe givers.

So really, many FSU gals should be saying "I don't want a man who is stingy, because I am greedy."

Now, let me continue to say that I didn't really experience many FSU gals who were greedy.

Further, why do many FSU women (at least those on the dating sites) mention this generous and stingy trait in their profiles ??

Because FSU men are known for spending foolishly on women they are trying to woo.
However, FSU women have picked up on knowledge that western men will not spend so foolishly on them.
So they try to eliminate those western men who will not spend foolishly on them.

Thus, I eliminated from consideration any woman who put this generous and stingy concept in their profiles, and actually I didn't see it that often in my target group who were 35 years and older.  It may be much more prevalent with the younger gals.

ML, unfortunately, using the word stingy would still make them sound like gold diggers that are more interested in the night out on the town than the man and relationship. If they are gold diggers, then at least they are open and honest about it!

If on the other hand they have had to deal with men that are so cheap they they won't pay for a decent meal, or pay the cab driver for the ride home, that is sad, however these women claiming to want western husbands should probably learn enough about western culture to understand how such a statement comes across.

I wouldn't mind getting a FSUW's opinion on this if there is one around?

[GQBlues]

Fair enough Redking...I wasn't sure where you are at when I read your last post. My spidey sense tingled when reading it, and just wasn't sure if you somehow generated that 'idea' from reading what folks are saying here, or at least me.

Just go out with the gals in the same way you do at home. Worst thing you can do is become someone you're not while there.

[redking11]

Who would not contact a woman If her profile said she was looking for a generous man?

[LAman]

Who would not contact a woman If her profile said she was looking for a generous man?

You

[Trenchcoat]

Me too of course Some say that you should not be too generous when dating a FSW otherwise she will think you're an easy touch, weak, easily had, etc. It does seem that examples are abound of guys (both dating & married to FSW) that have been generous thinking the woman will appreciate their generosity especially as the girl came from a poor background but instead ended up taking them for a mug. Often this seems to have bred disrespect for the guy and a downward spiral in the relationship that seems to often be unrecoverable. So hence not offering any more than the essentials seems to be the way to go. My thoughts is that we are dealing with not only very poor society/people but one where the man is the Patriarch and dominant, that is where power lies and society works/functions over there. If the man is too generous then he is giving away his power is no longer worthy of respect and must be weak in the eyes of many/most FSW. IT the only way they can see their society functioning and the way they have been brought up.

OP's question is well timed as my own thoughts of recent have been on women constantly asking for 'intelligent' men in their profile. My thoughts on this is that they are nearly all after intelligent guys since they know (in their country) that intelligent means a good 'well paying' job for the guy. Women even if they are intelligent with a good job it is often not well paying in the FSU as they are female. Local guys who are not intelligent will also rarely have well paying jobs - so that just leaves local 'intelligent' guys and foreign 'intelligent' guys. Of course here in the west we know that for us 'intelligent' guys does not always equal good earners, it can do but not always. In the UK perhaps even more than the US many people are well educated but not necessarily earning a lot. FSW of course are oblivious to this.

My general thoughts are the best way to land a FSU woman is to secure a source to income in the US/UK that doesn't need you to hold down a permanent job go to FSU, engage in some activity where personal relationships may be established. In a country such as the Ukraine women will go flocking to you since even an income of £10K or $10K per year will be a lot where a lot of women earn just £/$100 or so a month. That and of course the guy will have hard savings, less likely to evaporate before their very eyes unlike in FSU countries, particularly the Ukraine. My thoughts are I that I could probably go to the Ukraine, somewhere nice like Odessa and live like a lord on £10k income from the UK and odds are it wouldn't be long before some girl would see me as a good catch, a decent girl though, not a gold digger.     

[tfcrew]

Well I feel stupid

Don't
The 'generous' description is an agency idea.
They write the profiles.

[wallm]

Greedy to me has always meant wanting more than you have or wanting something that someone else has. I.E. these FSUW sound greedy to me because they want me to lavish money on them for no other reason than they are female.

However, stingy or tight or scrooge-like ect ect. to my mine means being unwilling to spend your money on even small luxuries.

Jay got this right. Greedy for these women means the man is stingy. Not true definition we use in western world. I am always "generous" in the sense I offer them 100 UAH after each date to take taxi home. I wouldn't however spend anything to "buy" her with my "generosity."

[msmob]

I hardly think asking for a CD makes a woman worth avoiding - it is not uncommon to buy a small gift - flowers ? - for the first date.  If a guy has loads of dates lined up - this could be an expensive business

'MoB' - I HATE this term ... ANY ONE using it - esp. if (wisely) using sites that don't involve any third party 'help'  simply perpetuates this misleading and insulting inference.