Did you discuss income with RW?

[zooble]

Some questions on discussing both her and your income, if you did it at all.

Some reason for discussing it:
She would be interested in knowing how secure her future is
Discussing income potential for her in your country

Curious to know:
How and when was it brought up?
How did you ask about hers without revealing yours? (for the sake of protection against gold diggers)
Did you plan out a career/transition path for her in your country?
Did she have plans to secure her future in her country? (education/career) If so, how did this affect the relationship?

[msmobyone]

Not a topic for early stages of dating.

If you are going to ask her to marry you - simply invite her to see your life...

[Darth_Budda]

I was always honest...

I told her I was just a normal construction worker.. not a rich man...

[Chicagoguy]

She never asked and I never brought it up. But maybe pictures of me skiing in Aspen, our lake home and boats in Northern WI. and me out on the golf course influenced her ? Still, these can all be faked. In the end I think she came to her own conclusions and trusted me. Also, she had escape plan where she could always go back home.

Now that we have been married for 7 years I can safely say money is not her God. She is always looking for a bargain if possible and is looking for ways to save us money
She does not work and has seen my will. Not rich but enough for her to survive. She also has escape plan where she could return home if necessary. Goes anyway once a year.

I might add that on Aug. 10 she passed her citizenship test with perfect score. Why it took so long was that when she arrived she knew absolutely no English.

[BillyB]

Some reason for discussing it:
She would be interested in knowing how secure her future is
Discussing income potential for her in your country

It's fair for a lady to get an understanding of the financial security of a man's she's about to marry. I didn't give my wife a number. I told my wife I make enough to live like an average man in America. After we met and became exclusive, I sent her photos of my home inside and out.

[alex330]

When the relationship had progressed I told my wife exactly how much I made. We never really discussed her income much until after we were married I believe. We understood it would not matter once she arrived and she would probably need to start over career wise.


What I failed to tell her and explain was my debts and the cost of living. Basically how things work financially here. That was a big shock for her. Interest on home, insurance, credit card debt, etc. That is something that should have been discussed.


Wife had already finished University and held a degree. Not a very useful one here. In regards to her career here and potential earnings we did not discuss it much. She had worries but we threw caution to the wind at that point and just pulled the trigger.

[2tallbill]

Some questions on discussing both her and your income, if you did it at all.

We discussed income a little bit, but they were long conversations because I had to
qualify what $XX dollars per month meant and how much I had to spend and how
much I had left over. Because it's different in Russia. They don't have a dozen taxes
and insurances taken out or have the same type of bills etc. They buy phones and
then prepay for example rather than pay the bill after they use the service.

I remember when we were talking in Russia, Angel Eyes and I once we put together
a list of various things that cost money that we wanted to do.

1. Bill's next visit $
2. Wedding rings $
3. Pay off Angel Eyes credit card $
4. Pay for something else.
5. Money for XYZ
6. English lessons for Smiley Girl
7. Etc

So I tried to get her to prioritize the list. Which we should do first, second, third etc
and she kept saying "all of them" eventually we prioritized the list. It took a while
but now she is much better (it's still somewhat of a mystery) at budgeting/planning
things.

Discussing income potential for her in your country

We didn't discuss this much because I assumed it would be quite a while before she
was going to be in the workforce. Once we had mini me coming that put the plan of
her bringing home any bacon off even further.

Having her home taking care of me and the household makes me more efficient and
productive. I definitely make more money as a result of her being at home. I spend
less money on a thousand things. She bought a set of clippers and I've paid for one
haircut in two years. When I walk out of the house my lunch is packed and iced tea
made for me, my clothes are clean and pressed, my socks match and I don't have
a stray hair growing out of my nose or ear. 

Curious to know:
How and when was it brought up?
How did you ask about hers without revealing yours? (for the sake of protection against gold diggers)
Did you plan out a career/transition path for her in your country?
Did she have plans to secure her future in her country? (education/career) If so, how did this affect the relationship?

We met first, then I told her she was going to fall madly in love with me and that
we were going to live happily ever after. Then we talked extensively about the future
and what we would do in a million different scenarios.

She was already a proven NON gold digger and in her own words was
"Scrooge McDuck"

Did you plan out a career/transition path for her in your country?
Did she have plans to secure her future in her country? (education/career) If so, how did this affect the relationship?

My wife had a career in her country and made decent money (for Russia) but she
said that she would live in a tent with me and be happy. (I'm pretty sure that she
wouldn't be as happy as she was when she said it)

[Muzh]

Some questions on discussing both her and your income, if you did it at all.

Some reason for discussing it:
She would be interested in knowing how secure her future is
Discussing income potential for her in your country

Curious to know:
How and when was it brought up?
How did you ask about hers without revealing yours? (for the sake of protection against gold diggers)
Did you plan out a career/transition path for her in your country?
Did she have plans to secure her future in her country? (education/career) If so, how did this affect the relationship?

Many of these ladies want to be wooed. How much money you make is irrelevant, all you have to do is make sure you take care of her. Nice ladies will not ask you if you are rich. They can tell that from the get go. They'll be looking how you behave with your money. Are you generous or are you obssessed with it? She knows her income will never compare to yours.


Many people fcuk up their chances by being obssessed with the money. Some of the ladies will get you in situations to see how you react and then they proceed accordingly.


The moment you start mentioning gold-diggers, thats is what you'll find.


Good luck.

[vwrw]

Women, the same as men, can be divided into those who are money smart and those who are not. A money smart woman will initiate the income and expenses discussion if it is not started by the man. The income/ expenses discussion should be started after both have expressed the mutual desire to have a common future as husband and wife.

[ML]

My now wife came here on her own as a graduate student, but we both knew and agreed that she would live with me.

We never discussed my money at all, but she knew of me from my business work in Ukraine, so she knew that I was not hurting for money.

In fact, I think she 'chose' me, not because she wanted my money, but because she thought I would not want or need her money.

However, she underestimated my patience and that I was in it for the 'long game.'

[Gator]

All you need to do is explain how you live.  Numbers mean little. 

Don't show photos of your car, house, etc. until you are committed to each other.  But do tell her about your friends, your family, your work, your hobbies........

[Lily]

I'd say it would be good for her to know whether you have debts, and what kind of debts. In the worst case, it is the spouse who may be left responsible for paying them out.

[BBrides]

Most women will be dependend completely at least for the first years, so she has to know that you are able to afford this.

And yes, debts are viewed as the source of all evil over there. Our ways will take a lot of explaining.

[Patagonie]

Not a topic for early stages of dating.

If you are going to ask her to marry you - simply invite her to see your life...

+1

And absolutely NO NUMERALS with an FSU woman. They need to be readucated because the west if very different (taxes, insurances and so on), even the ones who have frequently travelled.

[BC]

When I proposed I told my to be wife that all I could guarantee is food on the table and a good roof over her head.

[Muzh]

When I proposed I told my to be wife that all I could guarantee is food on the table and a good roof over her head.

Same here. 

[ML]

When I proposed I told my to be wife that all I could guarantee is food on the table and a good roof over her head.

I always told them I would guarantee to help them find a job to provide those things for us.

[Anotherkiwi]

When I proposed I told my to be wife that all I could guarantee is food on the table and a good roof over her head.

She didn't mind that there weren't any walls? 

[ML]

She didn't mind that there weren't any walls? 

Walls would be needed to hold up the roof; or at least there would be 4 corner posts.

[BillyB]

A lot of men here are making guarantees to lure women into moving in with them but there seems to be a lot details missing as some posters bring up. Provide food on the table with a roof over her head is the guarantee. Does this roof have walls? Who's table the food goes on? The lady's table or the mistresses? What type of food? Steak and lobster every night or dog food?

[ML]

What type of food? Steak and lobster every night or dog food?

You make it too easy Billy!!

Depends if she is a dog.