Life Changes...Part Deux

[Doll]

From my experience, once a RW determines that you're a MAN, she will listen to what you have to say and accept it.

Ha-ha-ha! 

[boaterguy]

Lily, It has been my experience with the FSU Ladies I have met. FSUW for the most part are very independent and accustomed to doing things for themself's.

Seems Doll agrees with me!

boaterguy, why? I totally agree with what BillyB said in your quote.

More than that, an educated RW as I am, I would consider putting Billy's words in my profile. I'd be a willing student in relation to a man who 'd teach me many things in life that he knows.

[Misha]

boaterguy, why? I totally agree with what BillyB said in your quote.

More than that, an educated RW as I am, I would consider putting Billy's words in my profile. I'd be a willing student in relation to a man who 'd teach me many things in life that he knows.

Lily, I can't recall whether you have ever been married. Women are more likely to say such things before they are married IMHO  Afterwards, they are more likely to share Doll's opinion, and my wife would certainly agree with Doll 

[JohnDearGreen]

Lily, It has been my experience with the FSU Ladies I have met. FSUW for the most part are very independent and accustomed to doing things for themself's.

Independent?  Yes
Do things for themself?  Questionable.

I have been telling my wife for six years to turn the AC up (or heat down) when she leaves for work.   I doubt that she has ever done it.  I won't mention how many times I've found windows open and AC blasting away.   

[BillyB]

. FSUW for the most part are very independent and accustomed to doing things for themself's.

10 years ago I would say that's true but now I'm a lot wiser, know how to take care of business in life better and know how to interact with women, especially RW. RW today would respond much better to me and trust me to take care of matters more than the man I was 10 years ago. If anybody here feels their RW doesn't let them be the MAN of the house, either she or you has problems.


One lady I dated last Sunday is older than I and I will see her again this Sunday. She came to America 3 years ago and she cried the first six months. She recently returned to Lugansk, Ukraine and was in shock. She never thought about it before but after walking down the sidewalk, she could see how unhappy and unemotional people were and it scared her as if she was looking at zombies. She never noticed that before because she didn't care to look at people as she had her own worries to think about while living there. She calls USA home now.

She came here with her family. She is separated from her Ukrainian husband because he mentally tortures her with silence. When he is upset about something, he has gone silent for up to 2 months at a time not talking to her or their son.

I don't make a habit of dating married women but I am satisfied they are separated from their husbands. The Lugansk woman lives alone with her son as I've been in their home and she seems mentally prepared to move on with her life so I'm willing to see her again.

Another married woman I dated was currently in the middle of a divorce. Throughout our date, her mind was focused on her divorce and financial problems she was having. She was not mentally prepared to move on. She told me she didn't feel chemistry on the first date but I told her if she wants to continue to meet as friends, I'd be willing. She made a proposal to me asking me if she does have a relationship with me, would I be willing to take care of her financially. I told her “No, I take care of my woman but I'm not going to buy her love”. She is not the first local RW I dated that would be willing to trade sex for money.

I was actually amazed at the amount of married women on the internet,who are still living with their husbands, I could potentially go out with. When I ask these ladies why they are on the dating site, they tell me they are looking for a lover or their soul mate. They are searching for a better sex life or planning to find another man and then to jump ship while serving divorce papers to their husbands.

If you are currently in a relationship, I suggest you take a good look at your gf/wife right now. If she is not entirely happy and/or your love life is deteriorating, I suggest you take action to spice up your relationship. Some women are lost causes by being the one that causes the problems and'or adulteresses and there's nothing you can do to save your relationship but if you can change yourself, then do it.  Pay more attention to her, give her compliments, quit being lazy or drunk. Spice up your sex life and sleep with her as if there is no tomorrow. A good sex life doesn't make the marriage but it can certainly help it. Be a good lover. Even if there are many differences between you and your woman, if you give her mind blowing sex, she will be back for more, forgive some of your deficiencies and it'll make your bond with her stronger.

Make some new rules if you have to and stick to them. Nobody goes to bed angry. When you and your loved one gets in an argument, nobody goes to bed angry. Be the bigger person and hug and kiss your lady and act as if nothing happened. When it's time for bed, everybody gets over it. If your lady can't get over it, she is a child.


If I only knew then(when I was young) what I know now. Here are a few tips you can take to the bank and use them whether you're dating one woman or many women.

When chasing women, walk don't run.

Always give at least one compliment to your date and don't over do it. Some of those ladies spend more than an hour preparing for the date and you better notice. When you see her, give her a good look over and find something that is appealing to you and compliment on that. Hair, makeup, her clothes etc... Be sincere. If you can't pick something to compliment on, then say something like “You look beautiful/wonderful” then extend your arm towards her for her to take and say “Shall we go?”

Never date a woman and think marriage within the first few dates. She may feel your desperation and it's downhill from there. Always date her as a friend first.

Always look her in the eyes on the first date, not her boobs, azz, or butt. She will feel uncomfortable with you and think you a pervert. When she is comfortable dating you and knowing that you aren't a pervert which can happen as early as the second date then it's important to get caught looking at her body parts but don't over do it. When you are caught, don't look away and be shy or act as if nothing happened. Slowly raise your eyes and look her in the eye. You have nothing to be ashamed about. If she likes you, she will like it that you are physically attracted to her and getting caught looking at her body occasionally will tell her what she wants to know.

Always be a gentleman even if she doesn't act like a lady. She may be broken but through your good example there may be hope for her to change and she may someday be appealing to date again.

After the date, if you like her make contact with her  the next day. She will be waiting for your call if she likes you.

If anybody else has some good dating tips, feel free to post them.

[Misha]

Billy, perhaps the reason why some women look elsewhere is that they have husbands who try too hard to be the MAN

[Ade]

Billy, perhaps the reason why some women look elsewhere is that they have husbands who try too hard to be the MAN

Actually, I'd like Billy's precise definition of what it takes to be a MAN...

[Misha]

Actually, I'd like Billy's precise definition of what it takes to be a MAN...

I believe this sums it up: "If any relationship is going to work between us, she needs to understand that I have much more life experience than her and she's going to have to trust me on a lot of the decision making and that I'm better qualified to lead our family down the right path. I have the patience and tolerance and it's okay with me if I have to teach her many things in life as long as she's a willing student."

This is what being the man is all about according to Billy's own words.

[Lily]

Lily, I can't recall whether you have ever been married. Women are more likely to say such things before they are married IMHO  Afterwards, they are more likely to share Doll's opinion, and my wife would certainly agree with Doll 

Well, we apparently are different people. I wasn't married, but believe that living with my boyfriend for a few years does count nevetheless. He was an indisputable head in our small home, and I believe that I agreed with him about almost everything. It is just not in my nature to argue with my man. But other women may have a different picture of spousal life. 

[Misha]

Well, we apparently are different people. I wasn't married, but believe that living with my boyfriend for a few years does count nevetheless. He was an indisputable head in our small home, and I believe that I agreed with him about almost everything. It is just not in my nature to argue with my man. But other women may have a different picture of spousal life. 

What if you hadn't agreed with him about everything? Would you have been willing to have your husband make all the decisions even if you did not agree with him?

[pitbull]

Well, we apparently are different people. I wasn't married, but believe that living with my boyfriend for a few years does count nevetheless. He was an indisputable head in our small home, and I believe that I agreed with him about almost everything. It is just not in my nature to argue with my man. But other women may have a different picture of spousal life. 

Lily,

Can you clarify why you agreed with your boyfriend about almost everything? Was this because:

1. You were total soul mates, like long lost twins:) and your opinions on things simply happened to be the same as your man's?

2. When your opinion was different from your man's you let him decide anyways because he was undeniably and objectively smarter than you/knew more about life/had more life experience/never ever made mistakes etc?

3. you did disagree with you b/f but he made all the decisions anyways simply because he had a p...s (was a male of the species) and you both believe that fact alone entitled him to exclusive decision-making?

4. Else?


Thanks

[Ade]

I believe this sums it up: "If any relationship is going to work between us, she needs to understand that I have much more life experience than her and she's going to have to trust me on a lot of the decision making and that I'm better qualified to lead our family down the right path. I have the patience and tolerance and it's okay with me if I have to teach her many things in life as long as she's a willing student."

This is what being the man is all about according to Billy's own words.

Well, I guess I missed that statement somewhere but it surprises me not.

[Jumper]

BillyB
That seemed an awful lot to defend a position of having fake profiles..
you have our reasons for doing so , understood.

but you do understand that by testing some girl you invited to stay ,with no strings attached, that it's obvious you did not trust her,

and really that's right? why should you? That's certainly understandible!!!

but if you made  a genuine offer ,no strings attached,
 why would you care if she also asked or looked into other offers..????
.your own words contradict what you say your feelings are.

call it *verifying* , call it clever ,or smart,
 put all kinds of nice words on it ,but you did not  trust her at that time .

since its some girl you don't know coming to live with you ,
i understand you verifying her "alleged" intent'?

but it seems she never alleged anything anyway?what was there to verify?
maybe  i messed that?

as far as relationships..
 i would feel it *shady* , in  a relationship for either a male or female to make fake profiles or silty tests,,
 relationships are built on trust ,not on verification.
if someone gives you reason to doubt ,you've time to then verify?

Some years ago Facetrock went on a VO trip and his gal was going to be somewhere else for a good part of the day so her friend was his tour guide for a while. Her friend occasionally tried to hold his hand and cozy up to him but Facetrock maintained his distance. Later Facetrock's gal thrillingly hugged him for passing the test she administered. He certainly scored big points with his woman. Nobody in the forum accused his gal of being low class and sleazy.

well i was on this forum but missed it i guess?

because i likely would have dumped her on the spot,
I wouldn't have found it cute or amusing.I would have found it very immature.

If she was over the age of lets say 25 or 30..and if it was a somewhat established relationship that  i wanted to work on, certainly would entail one big serious discussion and  a mutual understanding of that type of behavior undermining everything we wer etrying to establish.

So i'm sorry,but you dont get to throw us all in one handy basket  to justify your *cleverness*
 

we are all differrent ?  i respect your choices and understand them.

I simply make other choices.In the context of relationships ,
one is to trust until given a reason not to.
Also if making an offer for someone to stay with me regardless our relationship status, ,not check up on them with a fake profile ,, it simply wouldn't matter?
why would it?
how could they *use* me if i already offered?

but it did matter to you,or you would not have checked !
you can get bent at me ,
but at least be honest with yourself about it.

I do hope things go well and you have fun with a couple of college RW staying with you.

perhaps next will be swedish exchange students..  
they have a nice accent as well?

just kidding billyb..

but really this thread has some odd things in it that i'm just surprised noone has pointed out.
now if it was a TR.. 

[Lily]

What if you hadn't agreed with him about everything? Would you have been willing to have your husband make all the decisions even if you did not agree with him?

Dears, now I try my best to recall how it all went. May be I don't quite understand what a disagreement means. We were different people, but one right things about us was that we were looking in same direction throughout life. Therefore I think that his opinion just had no chance to be wrong in my eyes.

Other than that, even if at some point he might had a different thinking about something, then his opinion never crossed mine, never was against my position. We were never contradictory to each other.

I don't know what to tell on the question whether I'd be willing that he makes all decision. I never came across this. It just went self-evidently. At the same time, it is a pleasure to watch a man weighting pros and contras and demonstrating his smart mind

 pitbull, thanks for your questions.

1. You were total soul mates, like long lost twins:) and your opinions on things simply happened to be the same as your man's?
 

We were very much different personalities with different tastes in some things in life. For example, he enjoyed loud hard rock music, whereas this made me almost instantly sick  
When however I heard the music that makes my soul sing, he became sarcastic about my taste. The issue was resolved very simply. I never heard my favorite pieces when he was around, and I left the room as soon as he switched his music on Not a problem at all.

When however it was about cardinal things like job and career, some personal development, loyality and devotion, support and assistance when one of us was in need of it, we were immediately a team. We were willing to pay any price in order to help the other, and it proved itself every time.

2. When your opinion was different from your man's you let him decide anyways because he was undeniably and objectively smarter than you/knew more about life/had more life experience/never ever made mistakes etc?
  

I really don't know...  he may have had a different opinion about small things in life, but as far as they were just small things, I didn't care much. And of course, there were some things where he really knows better than I, so I relied on him. If there was about something where I know better, he always left me to decide. He was able to distinguish the former from the latter.

3. you did disagree with you b/f but he made all the decisions anyways simply because he had a p...s (was a male of the species) and you both believe that fact alone entitled him to exclusive decision-making?
 

Ha, ha, ha   how could this be a reason?

We were people who look in same direction, enough said.

[Ade]

but really this thread has some odd things in it that i'm just surprised noone has pointed out.
now if it was a TR.. 

I guess it has more to do with indifference to Billy's particular lifestyle than anything else. I mean, do you think it will make any difference to how he thinks and lives if we criticised him?

[Misha]

Dears, now I try my best to recall how it all went. May be I don't quite understand what a disagreement means.

You must not have been together for very long if you do not know what it means to have a disagreement I don't know of any couples who agree on everything immediately  Eventually, there will be decisions that will have to be made where the two will have different opinions as to what is the best solution.

[Gylden]

LOL, this is an example of modern times!

Billy has a more traditional approach, man is the decision maker. It doesn't mean he isn't sensitive to the woman's position, or he is a MSP, just one method of conflict resolution and if both parties agree to the system, it works good.

Today IMO many men are trying to be a "new age sensitive man" and it is all well and good, but in the area of conflict resolution, leaves the potential for a "dead lock", who will give in? who will opt. for the greater good? IMO in a situation where there is a clear decision maker and he/she has the best interest for all, is the best.

There WILL be conflicts of some sort in any relationship. Anyone who doubts it just hasn't been in a relationship long enough to speak out.

[Misha]

Billy has a more traditional approach, man is the decision maker. It doesn't mean he isn't sensitive to the woman's position, or he is a MSP, just one method of conflict resolution and if both parties agree to the system, it works good.

Again, "if both parties agree." Billy's model, IMHO, will lead to the husband ranging from the benevolent dictator to the tyrannical despot.

Today IMO many men are trying to be a "new age sensitive man" and it is all well and good, but in the area of conflict resolution, leaves the potential for a "dead lock", who will give in? who will opt. for the greater good? IMO in a situation where there is a clear decision maker and he/she has the best interest for all, is the best.

I will disagree with you here. Solutions can be found. Sure, it will take take and yes it will require a lot of discussion and a fair dose of compromise. However, if you spend enough time talking, and are open to ideas from the other, you can eventually come to a decision where neither will feel as if they had to give in and where both will be happier in the end IMHO.

There WILL be conflicts of some sort in any relationship. Anyone who doubts it just hasn't been in a relationship long enough to speak out.

Here, I agree with you. The question is how people resolve those inevitable conflicts.

[Doll]

Lily, I can't recall whether you have ever been married. Women are more likely to say such things before they are married IMHO   Afterwards, they are more likely to share Doll's opinion, and my wife would certainly agree with Doll  

That's just true!  "I listen to a man because he is a man" can not be applied to RW. NFW  

[Gylden]

Again, "if both parties agree." Billy's model, IMHO, will lead to the husband ranging from the benevolent dictator to the tyrannical despot.

The type of man you refer to IMO should not be married (unfortunately there are some like that)

I will disagree with you here. Solutions can be found. Sure, it will take take and yes it will require a lot of discussion and a fair dose of compromise. However, if you spend enough time talking, and are open to ideas from the other, you can eventually come to a decision where neither will feel as if they had to give in and where both will be happier in the end IMHO.

What you say here applies to any model, a good man can make a decision taking in to consideration both his and his wife's needs. His decision does not always have to mean he gets his way.

Here, I agree with you. The question is how people resolve those inevitable conflicts.

[GQBlues]

That's just true!  "I listen to a man because he is a man" can not be applied to RW. NFW  

Aww Lawrdy! Whatever happened to that whole neck / head / household analogy again.

Babushka Rules, Baby!

Best to leave things as they are, LOL. Otherwise The Sphinx may grace this thread with his meanings of life rant, too.

[Blues Fairy]

What you say here applies to any model, a good man can make a decision taking in to consideration both his and his wife's needs. His decision does not always have to mean he gets his way.

So when this good man doesn't get his way, who, really, has made the decision?
Or is it important for this man to be the nominal decision maker while his good woman does all the real decision making?

[Doll]

Aww Lawrdy! Whatever happened to that whole neck / head / household analogy again.

Babushka Rules, Baby!

Best to leave things as they are, LOL. Otherwise The Sphinx may grace this thread with his meanings of life rant, too.

The answer is immigration+Russian nature.
Who is "babushka"? You mean old fashion relationships? Forget it.
We learn from AW very fast.
"Sure, honey-sweetie-sugar!" And we do what we need and want  

[GQBlues]

The answer is immigration+Russian nature. Who is "babushka"? You mean old fashion relationships? Forget it.
We learn from AW very fast. "Sure, honey-sweetie-sugar!" And we do what we need and want  

Man alive! That's what my wife always tells me. What a coincidence.  

Interestingly enough, with regards to knowing about more things in our lives, etc..the other day after going over our upcoming finances, etc...once we close escrow on our new home once again, we got to talking about TMT, Tentative Minimum Tax and how it impacts our State's non-refundable new home buyer tax incentive. She cooly goes over the details of AMTs, AMTIs, etc...with me and what we can do with our filing.

Oooh-la-lah, baby! That was just freakin' sexy, man! I just love those moments...

[Ade]

LOL, this is an example of modern times!

Billy has a more traditional approach, man is the decision maker. It doesn't mean he isn't sensitive to the woman's position, or he is a MSP, just one method of conflict resolution and if both parties agree to the system, it works good.

Today IMO many men are trying to be a "new age sensitive man" and it is all well and good, but in the area of conflict resolution, leaves the potential for a "dead lock", who will give in? who will opt. for the greater good? IMO in a situation where there is a clear decision maker and he/she has the best interest for all, is the best.

There WILL be conflicts of some sort in any relationship. Anyone who doubts it just hasn't been in a relationship long enough to speak out.

"New age sensitive man"? What tosh. Not unless that's your label for a man in a partnership of equals. In a relationship where "dead locks" about very important issues arise, like for instance whether to have kids or not, perhaps it's a sign that the relationship shouldn't exist in the first place. After all, partners are supposed to be compatible and very serious issues without possible compromise should not exist.