Are they testing us?

[xiphoid]

    Perhaps the more experienced members here can check me on a personal observation I have made. That it may be plausible for a lady to test our sincerity and interest by suddenly going silent after a promising exchange of letters. These sudden silences frequently happen and until now I had always accepted them as being normal - an indicator of lost interest.
    Yet I wonder. On numerous occasions with separate ladies, I have been asked why I had gone silent after only 2 days, and then later they would go silent themselves. So now I have begun to think differently, that I should be enquiring if I don’t hear back from them after a week or so. And yes, I’m probably over-thinking this.

[Jumper]

Culturally FSU women(women most anywhere) are quite  accustomed to being pursued, not the other way around.
You are always more comfortable with what you are accustomed too?

That said, i took any long not pre-explained absences as they likely were simply not that interested and just moved on.Never been good at pursuing

[Muzh]

    Perhaps the more experienced members here can check me on a personal observation I have made. That it may be plausible for a lady to test our sincerity and interest by suddenly going silent after a promising exchange of letters. These sudden silences frequently happen and until now I had always accepted them as being normal - an indicator of lost interest.
    Yet I wonder. On numerous occasions with separate ladies, I have been asked why I had gone silent after only 2 days, and then later they would go silent themselves. So now I have begun to think differently, that I should be enquiring if I don’t hear back from them after a week or so. And yes, I’m probably over-thinking this.

That's because they are talking to other dudes. You''l have to wait in line.

[Shadow]

It is a combintion of things. It can be lost interest, it can be that their life does not only revolve about writing men. Also it can be they feel you are moving too slow or to fast.

In general the answer is: you are the man. You find out.

[fathertime]

Hey xiphoid,  when I was in the phase you are in I had ladies that did the same thing.  None of them panned out.  Unlike them, my wife was very attentive from the beginning of our email exchanges.  That said,  if you can keep yourself in the mix and visit her city while having a few other ladies as possibilities you might strike gold.  It would depend in part on how impressive you are to them in person.  This is riskier than having a 'steady' babe on the other end.  I had a few trips like this and they were good times but like I said nothing long-term came of them. 

I don't believe any of the gobbledygook about beung tested.

Good luck,

Fathertime!

[GQBlues]

    Perhaps the more experienced members here can check me on a personal observation I have made. That it may be plausible for a lady to test our sincerity and interest by suddenly going silent after a promising exchange of letters. These sudden silences frequently happen and until now I had always accepted them as being normal - an indicator of lost interest.
    Yet I wonder. On numerous occasions with separate ladies, I have been asked why I had gone silent after only 2 days, and then later they would go silent themselves. So now I have begun to think differently, that I should be enquiring if I don’t hear back from them after a week or so. And yes, I’m probably over-thinking this.

If you're into game-playing, whether blatant/intentional or product of their cultural/environmental norm, then wonder no more and continue to participate.

If you're not, then I suggest bail and don't put up with such.

[BillyB]

    Perhaps the more experienced members here can check me on a personal observation I have made. That it may be plausible for a lady to test our sincerity and interest by suddenly going silent after a promising exchange of letters. These sudden silences frequently happen and until now I had always accepted them as being normal - an indicator of lost interest.
   

I'd say some of the ladies that went silent on you lost interest or you got beat by another guy. If you're lighting the lady's fire and she's into you, she will be wanting to be talking to you and surely she wouldn't want to lose you to her competition.

[CaptB]

Xiphoid,


There is no mystery here. You have been looking for over 5 years........and....."no trips". I made my first trip in 2000. The only difference now is more efficient communication via skype etc. Six weeks before departing on my first trip to Tver, Russia I wrote 16 letters to RW there. Addresses were obtained through an agency (LTP). These letters were actually "snail-mailed".....not emailed. I would believe that even "today"....many women would really appreciate receiving a "hand-writen" letter. The proof of that is I received 14 replies....via email.....1 rw was already engaged.....and 1 was on summer vacation. The RW on vacation was an attorney staying in the Crimea for a month. She contacted the agency on her return....expressing interest in meeting me.....but I was leaving the next day.


My letters were about two paragraphs long. In the first paragraph I told about myself and why I had an interest in Russia. In the second paragraph I asked a few questions about the RW.......and at the very end......the fact that I had "already made plans".... to visit her city in six weeks. And finally....would you maybe like to meet to have dinner etc. I would be there for 3 weeks. I did get to meet all 14 who replied to me. About half were very interesting........5 were real contenders.......I did settle on one.


No......I don;t think they are playing games.....just trying to sort the "wheat....from the chaff". In other words "the serious.....from those who like the thrill of "talk......but no action".


My advice:


1) If it is a matter of "MONEY".....i.e. you live in your parents basement and you have no money to pursue this.....stop wasting RW's time.


2) If you are afraid to get your feet "alone".......use an agency. I used Lifetime Partners in Tver, Russia. Tver is convenient for side trips to St. Petersburg, Moscow......and the "Golden Ring" of small historic towns. I actually Googled "Lifetime Partners Tver, Russia".....and found their website. They still exist.....and Mark Dayton is still on of the owners. Mark is a little rough around the edges.....but a nice guy. They seem to have a special going on now with free memberships, discounts....tied in with doing something with a local orphanage.


3) Find a nice city.....locate a few interesting RW......actually book a trip so you can say that on such and such a date you are actually coming.....and watch your response rate climb......and communication....increase.


If you don't take a chance.....you will end up......just where you are now......."5 more years".....from now.


Capt B


P.S. Even if you don't write "old fashioned" snail mail letters......my techniques will work just as good......with e-mails. But with "everyone else" writing e-mails.....your "snail mails" will......stand-out against the pack......and she will have something to keep....if this work-out.

[xiphoid]

Thank you for some good writing tips CaptB I'll use them. But to clarify, I have traveled the world quite a bit in recent years for other reasons than what we are discussing here. Only now have I been making a steady serious effort to find a good woman as opposed to a part-time thing as in the past. Time is indeed passing by. . .